Ever thrown up 2 orders of sushi, plum wine, 2 shots of Southern Comfort, a margarita, and some white wine?

Yeah, me neither.

VOMIT (completely unrelated to the last post)

I hate the way they make me feel.

Black men.

Men.

Hispanic men.

Men.

White men.

Men.

As I’m in my car, minding my own business, they stare.
“BUY MY CANDY”
“BUY MY FLOWERS”
“BUY MY STOLEN ITEMS”

Gawking at me like I’M THE CIRCUS FREAK,
with their broken English, “You’s a good lookin’ one, yo”
or “Yo, Ma, you be lookin’ fine”

WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN?

Now I have to close my window, because you can’t keep you’re dirty eyes, and your dirty comments to yourself.

Street trash, you make me sick.

Call me racist.
Call me sexist.
Call me whatever you want.

Juststopbotheringmewheniamwalkingdownthestreet,sittinginmycar,takingawalkinmyneighborhood.

Purple man with your haunting gape, licking your lips
VOMIT
Blue man with your black eyes, paint on your shirt
VOMIT
Yellow man with your evil stare, wearing your suit
VOMIT

You could NEVER get a girl like me (she spits)

Ok fans, here’s one from the archives… -POP

So I’m at a Nintendo premier party (some new gadget they came out with, I don’t recall the name) -FIZZ, and my roommate is working the red carpet interviewing celebs…
And she works for a show that celebs don’t like, because their dirty laundry’s being aired on the show in the form of legal battles -YOWSER.

So here I am with my large afro trying to flag celebs over, and not even I could thwart the efforts of the divas I encountered. It’s that whole “I’m way to popular right now to be interviewed by Celebrity Justice.” -POW

Of course, on the red carpet, you always have the B-list celebs who talk to everyone, but that’s another story. -BANG

So, HERE’S THE GRAND FINALE (jazz hands)…. I’m flagging over Cuba Gooding Jr. and he comes over like he is going to talk to us, sees who we are working with, and -POOF does one of those “I’m too cool for you hand on the side of the face” moves.

-OUCH.

Foiled again. -ZING

P.S. the Fundraising Event I spoke of in previous post, Honoring Cedric “The Entertainer”, with host Steve Harvey and presenter Jay Leno… is sure to bring some stories to fulfill your bevy of Celebrity Desire. -ZOINKS

Um, June 3rd can’t come soon enough. -BOING

Update you say?

Sparse as my BLAHHHHHHg has been, the public should know that I am in the midst of a large event at my work, thus my life is consumed by planning and logistics.

MUSE WRITES:
Dearest Readers,
Please be patient with Alpha The Great as she tries wholeheartedly to balance this whole life thing.

ATG WRITES:
Um, non profit or bust.

Don’t be worried, I haven’t fallen off some existentialist abyss, I’m merely trying to excavate catharsis (narcosis).

Maybe life should be more like that…

Convert me.

I want to see your lies
In your eyes
Your disguise

Shape me.

Wear my masking
Like footage taped
Continue to scrape (the stories delicious)

Beaded like ties
On a restless, despise
Reality (like the program)

Jesus got into a fight with the Son
Who won?

Hypocrisy.

Put on your pissscentedperfumemadefromanimalbile

I mean, consumerism (you dig?)

Buy me another round of biodegrade – able
There’s a surplus on aisle 10, used condoms for sale

Feed me another daylight savings (shit brown like coffee)

She woke up thinking, “is this really it?”

strike that last comment from the record, or hit me with another one, Sam
(she pleads UNCLE)

Good morning lover

the wind made me breakfast this morning
I hope the moon doesn't get jealous
you left your heart in my hardrive (download it to my nonchalance)
because the stars are seeing double
ellipticate me (your dictionary’s been confiscated)
even code gets confused some… times.

Run me around in circles, your Sunflake’s got too much wax
(she’s melting)

Or did she just take over the hive?
Get me another vile of coffee creation (her reverb’s got bass)
Copper just married a ton of bricks
Heavy on her aortic valve
(get this girl some honey)
check, mate? (KING ME)