IRON HYMEN - Abstinence-Only Coolness for Girls

A bit of fun for the week-end.

Ok girls, no more sex for you. It's bad, it's dirty, and it puts America in great danger of evil things like EU, socialism, not going to church, or worse. In fact, its tantamount to sedition and terrorism.

But thanks to God who blesses Texas all day long, there is an answer. Here at the The IRON HYMEN Youth Purity Center, you can find out all about it and how to protect your hoo-hoo from filfthy commie hungry peckers.

Here is a preview:

The IRON HYMEN Abstinence-Only Education Program is produced by the US Dept. of Health & Human Services and the White House Office of Youth Purity.

A Very Special Iron Hymen Dispatch from First Lady Mrs. George W. Bush:

TEN THINGS EVERY GIRL SHOULD KNOW ABOUT BOYS AND THEIR VILE PRIVATE PARTS:

A few samples:

1. Boy privates are often said to resemble hot dogs, although if you ask me, the ones I've seen always called to mind something like those cute little Austrian cocktail weenies they sell 8 to a can. But I think famed author Lynne Cheney described the male unmentionable best when she recalled recoiling at "an old Frankenstein's monster bratwurst that looked like it had rolled under the couch for a month and got covered in dust bunnies and would make you spit up if you even so much as halfheartedly nibbled the tip of it."



2. The stuff that comes out of boys every time they use you has as many calories as seven whole pints of Häagen-Dazs. That's why all the girls who do "it" always get so fat and ugly and have that ulcerated skin that screams to everyone in church, "I am an insatiable slut!"



3. While almost all American boys have human-looking privates, most foreign boys have privates like German Shepherds or half-open tubes of Max Factor lipstick.



4. Up until the moment in your wedding when he says "I do," a boy's privates sport a treacherous spine of jagged scales, which may or may not secrete acid and weapons-grade anthrax – for which, apparently, only Ann Coulter has developed the antibodies.

Here are some samples of the Take the "IRON HYMEN" Abstinence-Only Pledge

I, [My Name], hereby pledge:

1. To never do rough stuff like ride horsies or bikes with hard seats, which could break my vagina's freshness seal and make me totally unlovable.



2. To never let tampons violate the sanctity of my hoo-hoo, because tampons are really nothing more than thirsty little albino penises.

Finally, a couple of testimonial samples:

Crystal F.: "I used to suffer terribly from dirty dreams about boys. Thankfully, now my Iron Hymen Libido-Be-Gone™ thong panties keep my dreams clean – and my yucky cooter bone-dry!"

Muffy P.: "OHMIGOD, like, Iron Hymen taught me to respect myself way too much to ever let some hairy creep hock man-lugies on my Godly cervix like it's some gross subway platform!"


Now girls don't forget, go find your full Purity Salvation at the The IRON HYMEN Youth Purity Center!

Oh Yeah? Book This, Sis!

I've seen this "Book Meme" deal going around for days. I never dreamed I'd get "tagged". Who would bother? A troublemaker, that's who! I'm honored. Or getting picked on. Picking only five books is next to fucking impossible, so in the spirit of "rules are made to be broken" I may step outside the lines a teensy bit. Here goes.

You are stuck inside “Fahrenheit 451.” Which book would you be?

If I'm gonna burn it, anything praising Bush or Republicans. Plenty to choose from.

If I'm gonna memorize it, Rudyard Kipling's Verse Inclusive Edition 1885-1918. Timeless and dated at the same time and just wonderful. Since I'll have it memorized, I won't have to take it to the desert island.

Have you ever had a crush on a fictional character?

Too many to count. You would blush, so I'll leave Animal Farm out of this! The latest is Honor Harrington from the sci-fi series by David Weber.

What is the last book you bought?

The Threadbare Buzzard: A Marine Fighter Pilot in WWII by Thomas M. Tomlinson. Poignant and humorous account of one man's adventures, written in flowery, almost archaic, language. Good read.

What are you currently reading?

The Great Unraveling: Losing Our Way In The New Century by Paul Krugman. A collection of his op-eds from 2000-2003. He had these administration assholes nailed from the get-go. I read him in the NYTimes religiously.

Five books you would take to a deserted island:

Sometimes A Great Notion by Ken Kesey
The Adventures Of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain
Nothing Like It In The World by Stephen E. Ambrose
The Bear And The Dragon by Tom Clancy

And the motorcycle book requested by Shakespeare's Sis:

Monkey Butt by Rick Sieman

I'm counting on The Critic to have a copy of Kon Tiki.

If I could sneak in a few more motorcycle books, they would be:

Whatever Happened To The British Motorcycle Industry? by Bert Hopwood
The Triumph Tiger Cub Bible by Mike Estall
Triumph Motorcycles In America by Lindsay Brooke and David Gaylin
Tales Of Triumph Motorcycles & The Meriden Factory by Hughie Hancox
Jupiter's Travels by Ted Simon
Soul On Bikes by Tobie Gene Levingston with Keith and Kent Zimmermann
Motorcycles and How To Manage Them by the editors of The Motor Cycle, an English weekly. A pocket-size book that I bought from Floyd Clymer in 1958 for a buck and a half and it wasn't new then. Indispensable book in those days for a kid just getting two-wheel fever. I still have it and refer to it as a guide to simpler times.

If you detect a slight motorcycle brand preference, you are very astute.

Well, that's it. Please don't get me started on authors!

Tom Joad and the Truth About California

4/14/1939: John Steinbeck's Grapes of Wrath is published.

One of the best books ever written about the exodus from the Dust Bowl and what went on once those folks got here. Steinbeck just about got banished from his hometown of Salinas after East Of Eden, and from California after Grapes Of Wrath and what are known as the California Novels. All is forgiven now tho'.

I'm not sure just when Woody Guthrie wrote this, but it's damn near as true today as it was then.

Do Re Mi

Lots of folks back East, they say, is leavin' home every day,
Beatin' the hot old dusty way to the California line.
'Cross the desert sands they roll, gettin' out of that old dust bowl,
They think they're goin' to a sugar bowl, but here's what they find
Now, the police at the port of entry say,
"You're number fourteen thousand for today."

Oh, if you ain't got the do re mi, folks, you ain't got the do re mi,
Why, you better go back to beautiful Texas, Oklahoma, Kansas, Georgia, Tennessee.
California is a garden of Eden, a paradise to live in or see;
But believe it or not, you won't find it so hot
If you ain't got the do re mi.

You want to buy you a home or a farm, that can't deal nobody harm,
Or take your vacation by the mountains or sea.
Don't swap your old cow for a car, you better stay right where you are,
Better take this little tip from me.
'Cause I look through the want ads every day
But the headlines on the papers always say:

If you ain't got the do re mi, boys, you ain't got the do re mi,
Why, you better go back to beautiful Texas, Oklahoma, Kansas, Georgia, Tennessee.
California is a garden of Eden, a paradise to live in or see;
But believe it or not, you won't find it so hot
If you ain't got the do re mi.

Words and Music by Woody Guthrie
© 1961 (renewed) by TRO-Ludlow Music, Inc.

California is a beautiful place outside of San Frandiego. The area around Salinas and Monterey is nice. Come see, then go back home and get some more money and come visit again.

DeLay and Marianas Sweatshops

I try, but it's hard to keep up with that scumbag DeLay. Here's one I hadn't heard about. From Joe Conason via Working For Change:

Still uglier than the Indian gaming affair -- and more directly implicating Mr. DeLay -- is the story of Mr. Abramoff's clientele in the northern Marianas Islands. The Pacific commonwealth serves as a haven for garment sweatshops that evade U.S. labor and immigration laws while legally labeling their products "Made in the U.S.A." Nearly every big name in the American rag trade has dealt with factories there.

Several years ago, the gross abuse of the laborers in the islands -- mostly young women imported from China and Thailand -- drew unwanted attention from the federal government. When Clinton administration officials proposed to crack down on the Marianas sweatshops and labor contractors, the commonwealth's ruling elite hired Mr. Abramoff to protect them. He sponsored dozens of luxury junkets to the islands for Republican politicians and commentators, spread around plenty of campaign money, and soon had Mr. DeLay pledging to defend the Marianas factories from modern labor standards.

The conditions endured by the women workers in the islands ought to have shocked any religious conscience. Swindled, starved and overworked, many of them were ultimately forced into prostitution -- and when they got pregnant, they were forced to endure abortions. Young women who arrived expecting to work in restaurants found themselves suddenly hustled into topless bars, where they were coerced into drinking and having sex with customers. And they often were deprived of the money paid by the johns.

Promoted by Mr. DeLay and Mr. Abramoff as a libertarian utopia, the islands were actually a sinkhole of indentured slavery and sex tourism. Enchanted by all the easy money and free vacations, however, those Washington worthies and their friends disregarded the suffering.

With sweatshops, whorehouses and casinos as the commercial underpinnings of their little empire, and with their thuggish approach to campaigns and debates, the DeLay crew seems reminiscent of the old Cosa Nostra. Yet such unsavory parallels don't disturb the right-wing establishment. Rallying behind Mr. DeLay are the Family Research Council, the Heritage Foundation, the Free Congress Foundation, the American Conservative Union and the rest of the "movement," with everyone fervently declaring, amid displays of piety and indignation, that his defense is their next great crusade.

My stock tip of the week is: invest in companies that make hangin'-grade rope. With any luck there'll be great demand soon.

Kos on C-Span

I watched a good interview last night. Brian Lamb, founder and chief cook and bottle-washer of C-Span, talked to Markos Moulitsas, founder and chief cook and bottle-washer of DailyKos.

Kos is an interesting dude. He's thirty-three years old, but looks about sixteen, the son of a Greek father and a Salvadoran mother who met while at college in Chicago. They moved to the U.S. from El Salvador after his family received death threats. He was a cannon-cocker in the Third Infantry Division, so he's got even more cred with me. He's smart as a whip. He lives in Berzerkeley, which kinda figures.

Go read his post on the interview. He said a lot of interesting things about blogging and has a link to the show. Don't miss it. Trust me.

It Will be Karl Rove Who Brings Down Tom DeLay, Not the Democrats.

DeLay is gonna walk a plank of his own party's making. It's not for being sleazy as you might think. It's for gettin' too big for his britches, as my uncle used to say to me just before he'd dope slap me. This is a good thing. From Buzzflash:

Considering the free ride Bush's lapses in honesty and executive branch corruption have been given by the mainstream media, you have to wonder why there's such a press pile-up on DeLay. It's fully justified, but why DeLay? I mean the Republican one-party government is crawling with errant snakes.

Well, we said it about the media frenzy surrounding Trent Lott's lauding of Strom Thurmond and we'll say it about Tom DeLay. It's not the Democrats that will bring down Tom DeLay; it's the Executive Branch and the White House that are leaking like a sieve. Karl Rove's fingerprints are all over this knife.

DeLay has forgotten the golden rule: George W. Bush comes before any Republican's personal agenda or power play.

DeLay has forgotten that he doesn't control the judiciary or the media; the White House does.

There's only room for one Godfather among the Busheviks; and Tom DeLay, not content to have the Congress as his concession and stay in the background, is stepping on Karl Rove's carefully crafted image of Bush.

Karl Rove is sharpening up his cutlery. Tom DeLay ought to be watching his Bushevik backside .

The former exterminator and present "Dioxin brain" has started to cast a shadow on the White House and draw undue attention to the real delusional goals of its inhabitants. His ego has gotten the better of him, and he's forgotten who is the Don of the mob.

Rove is just about ready to pour the cockroach killer all over Tom.

And the man who crawled out from under a rock of immorality can't even see it coming.

A rattler never does.

I disagree with that last line. Interesting thing about rattlesnakes: if you have to shoot one of 'em, you don't have to hit him. He'll see the bullet coming and strike at it. He'll catch it, too.

It'd be nice if they'd can his ass for his crimes and ethical shortcomings. That'd be like Genghis Khan throwing you out of the posse for excessive cruelty.

Looks like they're gonna do it cause he's a loudmouth asshole who's jeopardizing their culture of lies. Hey, I'll take it.

I wonder if Rove will make a hatband out of him?

We'll know better next time...

On April 9, 1865, Confederate Gen. Robert E. Lee surrendered his army to Union Gen. Ulysses S. Grant at Appomattox Court House in Virginia.

Swell. Now that the slavery issue has been settled, next time they wanta secede, let's let 'em. Not that it's ever gonna happen. They like our money too much. If they had to stand on their own, they'd starve. Hmmm.

Reality Bites, Don't It, Assholes?

The hardly-ever-right wing bloggers, aka "The 101st Fighting Keyboarders", have got their panties in a bunch over some Associated Press photojournalists getting the Pulitzer Prize for actual un-Bushified coverage of the war in Iraq. From Attytood:

The AP's crime? In so many words, they are guilty of showing the conflict in Iraq the way that it is, and not the way that the conservative blogosphere wishes that it were. The right wants those pictures of rose pedals and liberation parades that Dick Cheney promised them three years ago, and now they're mad they didn't get them.

There are two main objections. To sum them up, they claim the AP was aiding the enemy when one of its photographers, who has sources in the anti-U.S. insurgency, went to a rally and captured a shot of insurgents shooting two Iraqi election workers. The other is general, that too many of the pictures are "pro-insurgent" or that none of them depict "heroic" actions by American troops.

Athenae has a measured and understated response:

Freedom isn't free, you say, giving me the impression that whatever other xenophobic homophobic fundie whackjob tendencies you harbored, at least you understood that for your bravado somebody pays a price. I hope you got a receipt, because it sounds like freedom's a little more expensive than you counted on. In fact freedom's so fucking expensive you can't stand to be told what market price is these days.

Freedom isn't free, you miserable chickenshits. You cheer the war, you love the war, you love the troops, you support the troops. But to recognize their sacrifices would diminish your pleasure so you send the images away. You jackholes are the ones who are always bitching that the left "blames America first." You're the first to blame "the media," to blame "bias" when things don't look the way you saw them on the outside of the box. Why do you now blame the photographers who bring you images of the dead and wounded, of protest, conflict? Why don't you blame the terrorists? Why don't you go wave a little flag in the face all this carnage because certainly it's exactly the item you put your finger next to on the menu. THIS IS WHAT YOU WANTED. LOOK AT IT. Print out every single one of those photos and paper mama's basement with them, chickenhawks. Here's your war, in all its glory. Max your credit card out, because freedom isn't free.

You cocksuckers, if you didn't want to see the bill, you shouldn't have ordered the food. Quit taking out your anger on the waiter setting the check down in front of you. Schmucks.

Right fuckin' on. Couldn't have said it better myself. You like this war, assholes, and you don't have to go fight it and risk your worthless asses. Live with your wonderful Fuhrer's results. As far as I'm concerned, you're as guilty of war crimes as he is. Quit whining when someone shows the fucking truth.

Stole this from Cleek. Blame him. Geez, I sound like one of them!

Der Rush

You deserve a break, so go enjoy a little light animated humor starring Rush Oxylimbaugh. Courtesy of A Mockingbird's Medley.

Lost Civil Liberties Mug

The Unemployed Philosopher's Guild (like, I can totally relate!) has a coffee mug:

Pour in a hot beverage and watch your civil liberties disappear! Mug features the complete text of the Bill of Rights, but pour in a hot beverage and see what remains thanks to the Patriot Act!

Check it out.

Drop the Hammer

There's a website called Drop the Hammer that is dedicated to getting corporate backers of Bugs DeLay to perform the titular act. There are links to many of the unethical things that scumbag has done, at least the ones that have oozed out from under the rocks. Many links. Go see. It's a little more polite than my idea of "dropping" DeLay.

Spare Change, Mister?

From Wolcott:

While I'm chugging to the finish line of a column, I want to pause and alert members of the enlightment that Steve Gilliard is holding a fund drive this week to raise money toward the purchase and construction of a souped-up desktop computer. Why should I help Steve Gilliard buy a desktop? I can hear some cheapskates asking. Because his blog blows more Swiss cheese holes through b.s. than almost any other blog on the internet, and Steve Gilliard posting from a desktop is a Gilliard as fully weaponized as Woody Guthrie with "This machine kills fascists" stenciled on his guitar.

I dropped all my change into my 'puter, but instead of an e-mail acknowledgment, all I got was some smoke, sparks, and a strange smell. You try it.

Widespread Panic

Relax. I'm referring to the band Widespread Panic. I ran across 'em while skiddin' the net and thought I'd share a story with you.

A few years ago**, these guys played at Truckee Regional Park which is a very nice park with a reasonably natural amphitheater* right on the bank of the Truckee River. There's a lot of music there in Spring and Summer, starting after the snow melts. Duh.

I had a gig that evening as Ticket Security. WP's fans were youthful and energetic, as well as cheap, so it kept this old hide a-hoppin'.

After the concert, the band called for help loading up. The amphitheater is located in such a way that they couldn't drive their big rig right up to it; instead, they had to offload tons o' equipment onto a smaller truck to get it to the stage. They wanted help going the other way, and a bunch of us locals volunteered. Two crews, one at the stage and one at the big rig. Their fans are youngsters, but there wasn't a guy in the loading crew under forty.

The road manager was an Israeli, and in between giving directions, while we were waiting for the truck to come back, he was quite a character with the views of a jaded world traveller. The band members were long gone of course.

This deal took from about 11pm, when all the concerts shut down because the park is near residential neighborhoods (I can hear them from my house), to almost 2am. They gave us a band T-shirt for our labors. We bitched about that, so they coughed up a $20 bill each as well. To their everlasting credit, they also kicked down some beer and all the weed we could smoke while we worked, which may have slowed things down a little bit. Ya think?

So, there I am, 3 hours late and stoned to the gills, trying to explain to Mrs. G why I'm home so late from a Security gig that was three blocks from home. It took me a while, but I'm sure the absence of the stink of cheap perfume kept me alive long enough. Ah, memories.

*Go to this site to see a graphic depiction of life in snow country when there's no snow!
**Time flies, don't it?

Right-wing Radio

I have my own ideas of what I like to listen to on the radio. My tastes are eclectic to the point of being downright subversive. I like NPR, but I particulary like low-power community radio stations like KVMR (Nevada City CA) and KNBA (Anchorage AK - thanks, Morrigan). You can listen to them on your computer while dispensing words of wisdom and rage. These generally low-key and perpetually under-funded outfits are, like nearly everything else these days, under assault from the Big Money Retardiligious Right. From Sarah Posner, via AlterNet. She is also a contributor to The Gadflyer.

The story of low-power radio is a cautionary tale on how a progressive victory can quickly be turned to conservative gain. Thanks to Rupert Murdoch, Clear Channel, and Sinclair Broadcasting, the right wing has long dominated corporate media. Now religious broadcasters are busy pushing community radio right off the FM dial.

For years, media reform activists have fought valiantly to force the FCC to issue licenses for low power radio stations. Their dream: to create a space on the radio dial for true locally produced community programming, untainted by the profit considerations of large media conglomerates. Low power radio would finally give voice to those who needed it most: people of color, low-income communities, local organizations.

Five years after their victory, community radio has become the bastion of Christian programming. LPFM is being squeezed off the radio dial by religious broadcasters who are gobbling up FM frequencies at an astonishing speed. Their weapon of choice: low power translators.

Translators, which range in power from 10 to 250 watts, were created by the FCC to help boost signals of existing stations in areas where the terrain can hamper their signals. Christian broadcasters use these translators to transmit programs from their bigger full-power stations. Unlike commercial stations which can only have a translator within the receivable range of the full-power "parent" station non-commercial groups such as religious broadcasters can place their translators at any distance and feed them via satellite or other means. As a result, one full-power station can be used to broadcast programming across a number of states, vastly extending its reach, especially in rural areas. And the more translators take up low power frequencies in a community, the less room for local radio stations on the FM dial. More importantly, Christian radio networks can gain access to small communities without having to produce any local programming -- since the FCC forbids translator stations from airing such programming.

The end result: community radio is literally being crowded off the radio by religious broadcasters.

This sprawling radio network has become a powerful means to disseminate the reactionary ideological agenda of the evangelical right and its leading organizations.

The absence of alternative views on the FM dial in remote communities makes this kind of ideological programming doubly effective, and the absence of alternative local programming all the more dangerous.

Despite these concerns, the FCC has done little to check the expansion of religious broadcasters or investigate its effects on community radio. While it did institute a freeze on granting additional construction permits for translators, it was prompted by allegations of fraud leveled against two companies with ties to Calvary Chapel, which are accused of applying for 4,200 translator permits for the sole purpose of selling them to other religious broadcasters (Trafficking in translator licenses is illegal.).

Yeah, like that bothers 'em. They have friends in high places. I don't know about you, well, that's a lie, of couse I do, but I'm getting damn, no, make that goddamn, sick and fucking tired of the christo-fascist bullshit being shoved at me even though I wouldn't be caught dead listening to any of it. What bothers me is that God, Inc. is threatening to displace good alternative music and viewpoints and replace them with the corporate don't-listen-to-the-voice-of-reason, we-know-what's-best-for-you-so-shut-up-and-do-what-we-tell-you, or-we'll-kill-you crap that's ruining America.

[I did a little editing. All those intact hyphens were fucking with the HTML-F-man]

Hightower on the SSI Swindle

Jim Hightower is a journalist from Texas. He bills himself as "America's No. 1 Populist" and I think he's at least in the top ten. He was the only liberal/progressive/lefty/realist radio commentator for a long time. Since he was usually squeezed in between hardly-ever-right-wing morons like Rush Oxylimbaugh and G. Gordon Liddy, it doesn't take a genius to figure out why he's not still on the air.

Here's his article in AlterNet about the Social Security swindle. I think he sums the whole attempted robbery up quite nicely. Read.

When George W. says he's going to "fix" our Social Security system, I feel like a dog that's just been told, "We're taking you to the vet to get you fixed."

Next came the political road map, again from a little noticed document prepared under the auspices of Cato. Written in 1983 (my emphasis), it laid out a five-point strategy for creating a political environment that would give privatization a chance:

Maintain constant criticism of Social Security to influence the media and to undermine public confidence in the soundness of the program;

Build a network of influential supporters of private accounts, including Wall Street brokers who would profit from them;

Divide and conquer the opposition by assuring retirees and those nearing retirement that their benefits would be fully paid;

Enact laws creating 401(k)s and other private accounts so people learn to accept them; and

Have a privatization plan waiting in the wings when a president came along who was willing to claim that Social Security's trust fund faces a shortfall.

Cato's planners called for protracted "guerrilla warfare" against the system and its supporters. "We must be prepared for a long campaign," the Cato document declared. "It could be many years before the conditions are such that a radical reform of Social Security is possible." Then, amazingly, it cited a Communist as a political guru: "As Lenin well knew, to be a successful revolutionary, one must also be patient and consistently plan for real reform."

Looks like they found their fool, huh?

Alliance for Worker Retirement Security (AWRS): Beware of any advocacy group that has "worker" in its name ... but no workers in its group. This outfit, created by the National Association of Manufacturers in 1998 solely to lobby for privatizing the public retirement system, has about 40 members, including the American Bankers Association, Business Roundtable (the CEOs of America's 200 largest corporations), Paine Webber, Charles Schwab, Securities Industry Association (Wall Street's official lobbying group), U.S. Chamber of Commerce, and Wachovia Bank.

Surprise, George!

The ideologues, the corporations, the front groups, and the Bushites thought they had all of their ducks in a row to ram privatization into law, but they didn't count on one thing: You!

All across the country (and cutting across all party, racial, and age lines), people have risen up to give a resounding "No, uh-uh, forget it, go away" to this scheme. Especially bad for George is that he now has less support for privatization than he did before the White House's propaganda blitz. So far his campaign has included forcing the Social Security Administration to tout George's agenda, creating a Social Security "war room" in the Treasury Department, wheeling out the old political hack Alan Greenspan to shill for the plan, exploiting a few black Republicans as props for the false claim that Social Security is unfair to African Americans, and using the full bully pulpit of presidential PR tricks--but to no avail.

Folks are figuring out what George's proposal means: tossing out the guarantee of retirement security; slashing benefits and raising the retirement age; no spousal benefits or disability payments; promised stock gains that are iffy at best (check the decline in your own 401(k)); and Wall Street fees and fraud that will devour any gains. Many old folks recall that we tried privatized retirement in the past. It was called the Great Depression. And some folks already know what privatizing retirement means, because they've seen that future ... and recoiled from it.

Actually, the Bushites might have done us a favor by making this greedheaded and ideological lunge for our Social Security money. First, their audacious move has solidified and energized progressive forces to fight against it. Second, it rips away the "compassionate conservative" and "family values" masks that Bush has been wearing. Third, it opens up the big debate about what kind of country we want America to be. Will we be an I-got-mine, you're-on-your-own society, or a nation of people who continue striving for America's egalitarian ideal of the Common Good. This is more than a fight over our retirement (as big as that is). It's a fight for America's democratic soul. It's also a fight we can -- and must -- win.

Hear, hear. Those are some high spots. Go read the rest .

Watch Those Potholes

You know, I've been to two hog callin's and a county fair, but this is a new one. From Uggabugga:

More and more newspapers are reporting oral sex between children at school, during class, on school buses and at parties.

One of the comments:

I think we do need to warn our children that oral sex on school buses is dangerous. I mean the shocks on those things are awful and one wrong bump and...well things will get messy. And not in the good way.

Funny, that was my first thought as well. These kids today sure have a lot more to worry about than I did.

Rumsfeld quote of the day

Rumsfeld made this ridiculous remark a few days ago concerning Chavez’s arms purchases from Russia, “I can’t imagine why Venezuela needs 100,000 AK-47s, and I just personally hope that it doesn’t happen,” Rumsfeld told reporters in an appearance with Brazilian Vice President Jose Alencar. “And I can’t imagine that if it did happen that it would be good for the hemisphere.”

Mmmmm... could it be Venezuela might have the gall of wanting to defend themselves in case of an invasion by..... er.... damn... can't think of anyone who'd do such a thing!

I wonder how many Ak-47s are on the streets of America? I remember reading about a shipment of 7,500 AK47’s that was intercepted coming into the east coast just a few months ago.

An American Hero

A true American hero passed away recently. He stood up to the government when they did wrong. From the San Francisco Chronicle.

In 1998, Fred Korematsu was a fragile reed of a man. But in the East Room of the White House, the septuagenarian stood up straight and tall as he heard President Clinton say, "Plessy, Brown, Parks ... to that distinguished list, today we add the name of Fred Korematsu."

Mr. Korematsu, who was awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom for courageously defying military orders calling for the World War II removal of Japanese Americans from the West Coast, died of respiratory failure Wednesday in San Rafael. He was 86.

Mr. Korematsu's death marks a milestone in the history of American civil liberties. By his simple act of defiance in 1942, for which he was arrested and convicted, the lifelong Bay Area resident became an icon of social justice, not just in his own Japanese American community, but beyond.

Please read the rest Below The Fold.

Your Car: Politics on Wheels

I've always known you could tell quite a bit about someone from the kind of car they drive:

If you had a big black American luxury job with a blacked-out windows and a chauffer, you were a gangster, politician, CEO or movie star. Hmmm, that's redundant, huh?

Drive a Range Rover, you're yuppie scum; a Prius, you're a techno/green geek; A VW Microbus, you're in need of a haircut, a bath, shoes, and you're stoned to the gills and can't see out the back window for all the Grateful Dead stickers; a Volvo, you drive really poorly, because, after all, it's the safest car in a crash, right?

The following article knocks my simplistic theory into a cocked hat. Then again, maybe not. Go read.

From the NYTimes:

"Does she think she knows what I stand for/Or the things that I believe/Just by looking at a sticker for the U.S. Marines/On the bumper of my S.U.V.?"

The lady in the minivan might not know, but some of the finest minds in market research think they do. By analyzing new-car sales, surveying car owners and keeping count of political bumper stickers, they are identifying the differences between Democratic cars and Republican ones.

Some of these differences have more to do with geography than personal politics. Democrats are concentrated in port cities with more links to Europe and Asia, making them more open to foreign car companies. Republicans are more likely to be living in the heartland, where there's room for bigger cars and a tradition of loyalty to the American cars built in nearby factories.

But car buyers are also responding to the political images that come with some cars. Some foreign car companies have marketed cars as environmentally friendly, and some have at times focused on parts of the Democratic base. Saab and Subaru were the first and most visible to aim advertising at gay drivers.

Midsize and large American cars skew Republican, and so, of course, do big American pickup trucks. That may have something to do with American car companies marketing themselves through one of the great symbols of Republicanism, Nascar, which is enormously popular in the red states.

The Political Bumpers spotters, who recorded bumper stickers in favor of or against any of the candidates in the 2004 election, found that the drivers of pickup trucks and large S.U.V.'s were overwhelmingly right-leaning. But the leader of the project, Ryan MacMichael, of Leesburg, Va., said his biggest surprise was the pronounced Democratic skew of bumper stickers on economy cars (71 percent were left-leaning) and station wagons (67 percent).

The most left-leaning models with at least a dozen sightings in Mr. MacMichael's project were the Honda Civic (80-20 left-leaning), Toyota Corolla (78-19) and Toyota Camry (74-26). The list of most right-leaning was led by another Toyota, but a midsize S.U.V., the Toyota 4Runner (86-14), followed by the Ford Expedition (76-24) and Ford F-150 (75-25).

To Mr. Spinella, those bumper stickers merely provided further proof of the most fundamental difference between the two parties.

"Democrats buy cars," he said. "Republicans buy trucks."

Well, Lemme see. The wife's got a four-wheel-drive Dodge Dakota pickup for her daily driver and long trips (we need the full-size bed to haul Mrs. G's "necessaries" on any trip longer than forty miles).

I've got a 4WD Dodge Ramcharger, which dates from before they were called SUV's, thank God. The newer ones ride a lot better. It's more a short wheelbase enclosed farm truck and rides like a buckboard. Hell for stout tho', and goes anywhere.

We've also got a '76 Chevy Van that we bought new. We don't use it much anymore, but it comes in handy on occasion.

Not a "good Democratic car" in the bunch.

The Dodges are red. The van is blue. They all have "Veteran for Kerry" and "U.S. Marine Corps" bumperstickers. We're NASCAR fans, as well as every other form of motor racing, particularly motorcycle flat-track. We're for damn sure not Republicans (shudder at the thought!). And I'm not even a little bit confused about our choice of vehicles or our politics. We're damn good Americans. Say otherwise and watch what happens.

Maybe the study didn't quite go deep enough. Those "finest minds" can kiss my lily-white ass.

Smithsonian MP3

Great! I wanna download The Spirit Of St. Louis! But seriously, folks, the Smithsonian's Folkways Records division is getting set to offer its vast collection of Americana and World music on MP3. This is good news. I like music and very little of what I like to listen to could be described as "mainstream" unless you're from someplace really weird. Yeah, yeah. Button it.

Folkways has been around for a long time. I still have Leadbelly records on that label from the fifties.

From the WaPo:

The Smithsonian Institution is entering the highly competitive world of music downloads by offering the Smithsonian Folkways collection of ethnic and traditional music in an online music store.

"I'm all for it," says Mike Seeger, a member of the New Lost City Ramblers. The son of musicologist Charles Seeger and half-brother of Pete Seeger, Seeger has spent much of his life promoting southern and folk music. "I have a feeling of mission that I would like to have people get to know this realm of music better. This is a way to afford it," Seeger says.

The Web site, www.smithsonianglobalsound.org, will allow searches by artist, geographic location, language, cultural group or instrument. All of the Folkways archives, including photographs, can be downloaded onto a screen. Also in development are scrolling translations of some of the music for use on a personal computer. Right now the Haya Heroic Ballads, a form of storytelling found in northwest Tanzania, is being translated into English on the Web site.

As the Smithsonian fine-tunes this new service, the promoters hope new audiences for underappreciated artists of traditional music will develop.

"There's a guy in Punjab who is doing wonderful, meaningful work and it is never going to be heard," says Kurin. "Here is a way."

I guess you could hear it in a New York City taxicab, but downloading sounds safer.

Go read the article and visit the website. Your ears will thank you.