My thoughts, pics, and everything else, blah...

Monday, December 1, 2008

Lost

Just because I'm losing
Doesn't mean I'm lost
Doesn't mean I'll stop
Doesn't mean I'm in a cross
Just because I'm hurting
Doesn't mean I'm hurt
Doesn't mean I didn't get what I deserve
No better and no worse I just got lost
Every river that I've tried to cross
And every door I ever tried was locked
Ooh-Oh, And I'm just waiting till the shine wears off...
You might be a big fish In a little pond
Doesn't mean you've won'
Cause along may come A bigger one
And you'll be lost
Every river that you try to cross
Every gun you ever held went off
And I'm just waiting till the firing stops
And I'm just waiting till the shine wears off...
-Coldplay

I am almost done

So this blog is a little different due to the fact that I am not ranting or whatever. I am humbled today. I have made it to the end of the semester. I am grateful for school. Really I am. I am so glad that there is only one more year of school left. I have managed to survive this chaos and live, so far to tell about it. Christmas is going to be tight this year. Life has managed to kick me to the ground and it has been very hard to pick myself up. I am so grateful for family and friends. Thank you.

Friday, November 28, 2008

Do you remember TV shows from the 80s?

The 80's were filled with cute shows for little girls, back when the world was a little less...corrupt. These were my favorite shows ever, just goes to show you how much a girly girl I was! Hmm... So cute.

Carebears:
Rainbow Brite:
Punky Brewster:
Strawberry Shortcake:
My Little Pony:
So do you remember? Let me know what you miss from the TUBE when you were a kiddo?

My little GLOW IN THE DARK

So my horoscope says this today:

"You're a breath of fresh air today, making everyone feel fresh and young. Be radiant. Look to the future and your feet will take you there."

I bring this up because I have been doing a lot of soul searching lately. When I was a weeee lass my dad used to say I was his "little glow in the dark" . Lately this glow worm has not been-a-shinin-so-much. She has an aweful lot on her el plato. And when I think about it, I have a lot on my mind too. My dad is the most wonderful person in the world and I wish I could say I have taken the time to be a better daughter. But quite the contrary... actually. I kinda suck. Well, enough of the lamo reasons for being lame.

Back to the horoscope... my goal in life, I swear, is to make sure everyone else is happy before myself. I am always looking for ways to help others. I want to walk into a room and know that my smile is contageous. Next point, look to the future and your feet will guide you. The future scares the livin crap outta me!!!!!!!!!!!! Get the point? I am so anxious about anything happening in the future. I need an ativan and a time machine. With a time machine...I could really mess up and then go back in time and fix it!!! Hmm... heres a Christmas idea.

What is my deal? Geez

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Kiss a FROG

If you can't scroll your mouse to the bottom of this blog, then I will provide my horoscope today for you:

"You have the creativity to improve on boring reality. But can you truly fulfill your dreams? Today is more about dreaming than doing."

WTC? I am a DO-ER, dream? Hmm.... dream... nope, can't do it. I think I need to take action. My birthday is in 2 Days. Holy Moly!!! I am so OLD. Old woman with only a dream? Geez, what is this dream supposed to about? If I dream, when will it come true. Am I a poor helpess Disney princess who has to dream a wish to come true? Or do I need to find a FROG to kiss? Hmm.... Dream...I dream for a freakin million dollars and a sweet closet full of sweet expensive goodness.

Love ELLIE


So as I sit here in class, distracted and worried about my future, short lived and stressful...I can't help but stare at this pic of this most beautiful baby girl. She belongs to Selleca, my new sister. I have been blessed to have a sis-in-law who is so wonderful, nonjudgemental, and has nothing but smiles and love for everyone. This picture makes me smile. So I thought I would post it.

Love, according to a child


WhAT LOVE MEANS TO AGE 4 TO 8 YEAR OLD CHILDREN Slow down for three minutes to read this. It is so worth it. Touching words from the mouths of babes. What does 'Love' mean? A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, 'What does 'love' mean?' The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined. See what you think:


'When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love.' Rebecca- age 8

'When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.' Billy - age 4

'Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.' Karl - age 5

'Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs.' Chrissy - age 6

'Love is what makes you smile when you're tired.' Terri - age 4

'Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.' Danny - age 7

'Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss' Emily - age 8

'Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen.' Bobby - age 7 (Wow!)

'If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate,' Nikka - age 6 (we need a few million more Nikka's on this planet)

'Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday.' Noelle - age 7

'Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.' Tommy - age 6

'During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore.' Cindy - age 8


'My mommy loves me more than anybody You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night.' Clare - age 6

'Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken.' Elaine-age 5
'Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford.' Chris - age 7

'Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day' Mary Ann - age 4

'I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones.' Lauren - age 4

'When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.' (what an image) Karen - age 7
'Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross.' Mark - age 6 (HAHAHA)

'You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.' Jessica - age 8


And the final one -- Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a contest he was asked to judge. The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child. The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said, 'Nothing, I just helped him cry'

Monday, November 24, 2008

My car... well future car.







This is the sexiest damn car I have ever seen and will be my graduation present to myself. Only 384 days baby...then you are mine...YAY!

Why does everything have to bug me?

SO as I write in my journal, I think that I have a lot to tell. I like this blog tho cuz no one really sees it so its like a journal in a way. When I grow up, maybe I will write a book about my life but in fiction form. Or maybe I will just write a book. I am so bugged. Arggghhh why are you making me so mad today? I am pretty frustrated and my head hurts. And my neck, stupid stress making me have a freakin headache and a neck ache. At least I am having a good hair day. Hmm. yes, def a good hair day. It is dark now. Way dark, I got bangs and extensions. I am so fake!! What a nerd! Class is bugging me today. I have a test I would rather be studying for than listening to this lecture. Bugs, this stupid friend I have is bugging me. Stop getting to me geez!
What else bugs is this dumb weather, I hate COLD Brrrr. I wish it was summertime again! I love summer. I feel that my head is gonna fall off, ouchie! Owe, my neck.

I think that I let everyone use me as a door mat. Or for better use of words, a coaster. I am a coaster. hmm... useful yet nothing worth saving. Geez, I am so negative today. WTC (what the crap, as opposed to WTF-I shouldn't swear, trying to be a good person) Will someone just slap some sense into me? Hahahaha I am so silly. I think that I need a nap. Luke is hunting, oh ya! Thats another thing that freaking bugs me today. His stupid little brother is such a butthead. They went hunting yesterday and his bro shot at a deer and missed the important part IE his HEART, and shot his leg off. Poor deer, they couldn't find it so I bet the Coyotes got him last night as he sat there and blead to death. Bludgened by some idiot hunting for stupid antlers. WTF ok now I am mad. I hate hunters. STUPID CABELAS telling idiots that they need to kill. Stupid men who find some sick JOY in killing innocent animals. If you would just leave them alone, I would be happy. So heres to you stupid hunters and your lame need for wanting to kill! BLAH, you suck!

Is she crazy?

I have often wondered Am I Crazy? Hmm... I think I have been so overwhelmed with my life. I am really finding myself confused and lonely. I played with AVA yesterday for a little while. She is so beautiful. I love that kid to death. Everytime I see her, whatever my problems be at that time, they just seem to go away for a while. I think that I need to get a friend IE Therapist to hear out my frustrations and problems. but I don't want anyone who will just listen I want someone to help me take action!!! I need to decide what I really want in life.

Nursing school really is kicking my butt. I am so mad when I don't pass a test with the grade I know I should have got. I study a lot. I have no social life or time to watch TV. I missed 24 my favorite show bc I had to study. Boooo study! Boooo stupid school and its lameness. I will graduate in about 384 days...hmmmmm.... that is not so great. Why can't I already be graduated? I think that I am kinda mad... booo being mad. I am sitting here in class taking notes on my comp, and wishing that the lecture wasn't on CANCER. I think cancer really sucks. My family seems to have a problem with cancer. Geez, maybe I should get screened earlier.

My Horoscope

Ava's Horoscope