MOW BETTA BLUES

Mow, mow, mow your lawn...gently down the stream.

Now that's dedication, friends. Or OCD.

OIL IS A NON-PROFIT VENTURE

According to big oil, no one is making a dime off those astronomical prices, so I guess we should all quit our bitching...

INTERNATIONAL ESTATES

Location, location, location. Have a look see at what your money will get for you in the U.S. real estate market versus other places in the world. It's no wonder homes here aren't selling - look what you can get if you think outside the country!

HILLARY MEANS CHANGE!

And cash. If this guy gets a contactless reader he'll be processing credit card transactions at the speed of latte.

THE EMPIRE STRIKES BARACK

BIG NEWS!

Case in point: Our media has fucked up priorities. This is a screen cap from TODAY. This is why the Reverend Wright story gets so much play - the media has nothing else to report! They're now covering wildlife emergencies. At least they found something to focus on besides the controversial ramblings of a man with an opinion. Last I checked we're allowed to have those. And Obama has stated he does not agree with many of Wright's opinions. So let's fucking move on already. Do we really need 24/7 OpEd coverage on cable news debating the authenticity of his denouncement? Who's setting the editorial agenda over there every morning?

Here's what you need to know. Obama has sealed up the nomination. It's virtually impossible for Clinton to mount any kind of an argument for the nomination when he leads her in votes, pledged delegates, states, and coolness. There are dozens of superdelegates lined up to pledge their support to Obama - it's just a matter of time before the casket closes on Hill & Bill.

In the mean time, the media is forced to manufacture controversy. This is not a good thing. It keeps us from focusing on the important differences between what Obama is offering America and John McSame's tired talking points. McSame was recently asked on a Sunday morning talk program about universal health care coverage and why it wouldn't work here. He revealed his ignorance on the topic with the rhetorical retort: "Well, look at Canada." Actually, John, looking at Canada would be an argument in FAVOR of universal health care...not against it, because it WORKS QUITE WELL IN CANADA. In fact, it works quite well in EVERY country that has it!

But the Republican talking points memorandum on Universal Health Care is to make the presumptive argument that it's not working in other countries by saying "Look at [other country]." Very clever. But thanks to Michael Moore's brilliant documentary on the state of health care in this country, we're onto the lie.

Why can't the mainstream media spend more time uncovering the truth behind some of these political falsehoods instead of peppering our attention with manufactured controversies and breaking news stories about pelicans stuck in trees?

IF THE MEDIA IS THE MESSAGE...

...WE NEED TO KILL THE MESSENGER. Here's further proof that the 4th estate is complicit in our slow and steady collapse. They decide what is "news" and what to bury. The result is a blind, ignorant American population overdosing on a steady infusion of celebrity gossip and melodrama.

According to Media Matters:

"Since The New York Times reported on the hidden ties between media military analysts and the Pentagon on April 20, the three major broadcast networks -- ABC, CBS, and NBC -- have still not mentioned the report at all, according to a Media Matters for America search* of the Nexis news database. Times reporter David Barstow wrote that "the Bush administration has used its control over access and information in an effort to transform" these military analysts, many of whom have clients with an interest in obtaining Pentagon contracts, "into a kind of media Trojan horse -- an instrument intended to shape terrorism coverage from inside the major TV and radio networks." As Media Matters noted, the three networks also reportedly declined to participate in a segment on the April 24 edition of PBS' NewsHour regarding the Times story; Fox News, CNN, and MSNBC also refused to appear in the PBS segment.

"By contrast, during their April 28 evening newscasts, all three broadcast networks reported on the Vanity Fair photo of Miley Cyrus, star of Disney Channel's Hannah Montana: ABC devoted about two and a half minutes to that story, while CBS and NBC each devoted about two minutes to it."

Just wanted to bring that to the attention of a wider audience.

AROUND THE BLOCK

Here's a great timewaster. See how long you can avoid the blue blocks and black walls. Apparently 18 seconds is pretty amazing. I managed to get to 18.422 once after about a dozen or so tries. There's definitely a learning curve once you recognize the pattern.

THE WORDS OF THE PROPHETS...

...were written on the subway walls and tenement halls.

TWO WOLVES

Thanks to Greg for passing along this insightful bit of folk wisdom:

TWO WOLVES

One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people. He said, 'My son, the battle is between two 'wolves' inside us all.

One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.

The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.'

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: 'Which wolf wins?'

The old Cherokee simply replied, 'The one you feed.'

TIMEWASTER OF THE WEEK

This game is addictive as hell.

You've been warned!

WHO TALL ARE YOU?

Love the concept here. And they put it on a mirror so you are sure to remember that, while you may be the same height as your favorite celebrity, you remain far less attractive. Go ahead...have a closer look!

TALK ABOUT THE PASSION

So I watched the Passion of the Christ this morning. Yes, this morning.

I get those Blockbuster.com DVD movies in the mail and it was kicking around, so I threw it in and gave it a go.

I have to say - good movie, but probably not the best way to get started in the morning. Wow. And definitely not with a glass of tomato juice. The savage brutality was hard to stomach. It was almost as bad as that cheerleader ambush video they've been glorifying on the nightly news.

Actually, toward the end of the gruesome flick I started recognizing a lot of parallels between the Passion of the Christ and the Crashing of the Spears. Britney, that is. Here we have this pop princess, widely revered as a cultural demi-god, held under a microscope, taunted and provoked by a bloodthirsty mob of paparazzi, collapsing under the pressure repeatedly and to the great satisfaction of the ignorant, unforgiving masses. And the relentless, bloodthirsty mob isn't content to see her suffer. No - they won't be content until the icon has been sacrificed to the great kingdom of Hollywood. And that day is coming.

But I digress. What I really wanted to say was, I recommend the film, but not at 8am. And not while you're eating.

GRACE UNDER PRESSURE

IN A WORD...

Here's another one of those silly pass-around e-mails where you get to know your friends. The catch to this one? You can only respond with one word. Since I don't have any friends (no offense, friends), I am posting my one word answers here. It's just more efficient.

1. Where is your cell phone? here
2. Your significant other? there
3. Your hair? everywhere
4. Your mother? baking
5. Your father? working
6. Your favorite thing? pooping
7. Your dream last night? forgettable
8. Your favorite drink? caffeinated
9. Your dream/goal? comfort
10. The room you're in? office
11. Your ex? who?
12. Your fear? Neoconservatism
13. Where do you want to be in 6 years? comfortable
14. Where were you last night? couch
15. What you're not? spontaneous
16. Muffins? mom's
17. One of your wish list items? time
18. Where you grew up? Chicago
19. The last thing you did? reeks
20. What are you wearing? grin
21. Your TV? busy
22. Your pets? shedding
23. Your computer? On
24. Your life? fun
25. Your mood? good
26. Missing someone? nope
27. Your car? empty
28. Something you're not wearing? bra
29. Favorite Store? Borders
30. Your summer? busy
31. Like someone? pie
32. Your favorite color? changes
33. When is the last time you laughed? mirror
34. Last time you cried? same
35. Who will/would re-post this? whoever

OH YEAH!

Some shit is too funny for words.

OLYMPIC DREAMS AND NIGHTMARES

GET TESTED

I passed the test...but at what cost? Click to play and see how well you do.

FEAST YOUR EYES ON THIS

The ultimate peep show.

Now that's a hot, sticky mess just waiting to happen.

Happy Easter, my peeps.

WHEN WILL COMMON SENSE PREVAIL?

I mean COME ON, people. This guy oozes leadership. He's rational. He's practical. He's optimistic. He's a thinker. He's a doer. Let's not fuck this up.

I personally can't imagine a better face for the country right now. Can you? Besides Tom Brokaw, of course. Honestly. Who's going to better lead us out of the fucking mess we're in? Collapsing economy. Racial and socioeconomic division. Crumbling infrastructure. Falling dollar. Overextended military. Growing trade deficit. Growing national debt. Wage stagnation. Gasoline nearing $4/gallon. See what one little war will do for a thriving democracy?

Make no mistake about it - America is on the decline.

More frightening than all of this are recent polls showing Obama behind McCain in a potential head-to-head. How is that even possible? Haven't we had enough of the old, institutional white guys protecting old, institutional white guys?

Can we get a little new blood in charge instead of John McSame?

This guy's campaign was on life support 6 months ago. Republicans don't even like him...and he's polling ahead of one of the most exciting Presidential candidates this country has ever seen. I just don't understand America sometimes. Who are we, and what are we so afraid of? It's no wonder Canada reported its highest immigration figures ever this year. A lot of people joke about moving, but I'm starting to seriously consider it. Although, I'm thinking Norway. Happiest folks on the planet, reportedly.

Anyhow, this country is seriously fucked up beyond repair if we don't seize this opportunity and wrest control of the wheel from the fear-mongering warlords and petroleum whores. This shouldn't even be close, and the fact that it is forces me to question what is REALLY going on here.

Just think about it.