Wednesday, September 17, 2008
PRICE HIKING
Are you stashing cash in the lining of your mattress yet? Won't be long now and it'll be every man, woman, and child for his or herself. The hits keep coming with collapses of major lending institutions, insurance companies, secondary mortgage market players, the stock market, and the dollar overseas. Inflation has arrived and it's going to take a big chunk out of your wallet. Have you felt it yet? Retailers have.
Prices on everything are set to go up in Q4, beginning October 1st. Manufacturers have sent letters to distributors and resellers informing them of widespread price increases. Everything you bought yesterday will cost more tomorrow. For a while, the retail sector sought absorb these increases - hoping to win the price battle, trading margin to keep volume up. But they can't sustain the loss any longer. These price increases are about to get handed off to consumers. Get ready to tighten up that belt.
It won't be obvious at first. Large grocers, for example, know the secret to phasing in the price increase. They'll eat the cost of milk - a staple with which we're all familiar - and keep it hovering around the $3 a gallon mark. This lulls consumers into a false sense of economic security. As long as milk isn't going up, our subconscious tells us, prices across the board will be fine.
And then we see the total at the check out. Our $40 purchase is now $63.50. That $75 trip is now $101.24. Everything else we're buying is more expensive. Another tactic? Impossible math. You'd have to be Rainman to calculate the unit price of anything in the stores these days. This is something that has personally bothered me for years, but why can't the store ever tell me how much just ONE of something costs? Everything is 5 for $11, or 3 for $8.88, or BUY TWO, GET ONE FREE. I have to bring a calculator shopping to figure out that, on a per unit basis, I'm getting robbed.
The reason, of course, is simple. Grocers don't want you to know how much just one costs. That would make you an informed shopper. And informed shoppers are not good for business. What they want are zombie shoppers...people pacing the aisles, unwilling or unable to calculate costs on the fly, grabbing products and filling their carts. 6 for $10? Sounds like a great deal! Until you do the math and realize that $1.66 isn't a bargain for fucking yogurt.
Get smart. Do the math. Read the fine print on those tags where they list the unit price (if you can). Be informed. Make smarter decisions. Save money.
And stuff those savings in your mattress where they'll be safe.
Prices on everything are set to go up in Q4, beginning October 1st. Manufacturers have sent letters to distributors and resellers informing them of widespread price increases. Everything you bought yesterday will cost more tomorrow. For a while, the retail sector sought absorb these increases - hoping to win the price battle, trading margin to keep volume up. But they can't sustain the loss any longer. These price increases are about to get handed off to consumers. Get ready to tighten up that belt.
It won't be obvious at first. Large grocers, for example, know the secret to phasing in the price increase. They'll eat the cost of milk - a staple with which we're all familiar - and keep it hovering around the $3 a gallon mark. This lulls consumers into a false sense of economic security. As long as milk isn't going up, our subconscious tells us, prices across the board will be fine.
And then we see the total at the check out. Our $40 purchase is now $63.50. That $75 trip is now $101.24. Everything else we're buying is more expensive. Another tactic? Impossible math. You'd have to be Rainman to calculate the unit price of anything in the stores these days. This is something that has personally bothered me for years, but why can't the store ever tell me how much just ONE of something costs? Everything is 5 for $11, or 3 for $8.88, or BUY TWO, GET ONE FREE. I have to bring a calculator shopping to figure out that, on a per unit basis, I'm getting robbed.
The reason, of course, is simple. Grocers don't want you to know how much just one costs. That would make you an informed shopper. And informed shoppers are not good for business. What they want are zombie shoppers...people pacing the aisles, unwilling or unable to calculate costs on the fly, grabbing products and filling their carts. 6 for $10? Sounds like a great deal! Until you do the math and realize that $1.66 isn't a bargain for fucking yogurt.
Get smart. Do the math. Read the fine print on those tags where they list the unit price (if you can). Be informed. Make smarter decisions. Save money.
And stuff those savings in your mattress where they'll be safe.
Friday, September 12, 2008
I WILL RISE AGAIN! (BUT NOT TODAY)
Yeah, this once-amusing blog that had oft flirted shamelessly with the subtle hilarities of human introspection has been reduced to an outlet for political propaganda.
I promise it won't be like this forever. I will rise again. I will have stories to tell about my life in corporate America. I will have heartfelt insights to share as a proud step-father. I will have keen observations to note in the realm of the defacatory arts. I will describe embarrassing moments. I will turn you onto Showtime's original programming, all of which is top-notch from Dexter to Weeds to Californication. I will tell you things that you may have heard but did not know were true: like the iPhone is pretty sweet, but the AT&T network is the absolute worst. I will wax philosophic on the role alcohol has played in advancing procreation.
But for today, more important matters are at hand. Somehow I feel obligated to share whenever someone has put into words something I wish I had the time to put into words.
Yes, it's political. So if that's going to turn you off, turn away now. Unless you're bored. Otherwise, wade a little deeper.
You know, McCain was once I guy I liked, admired, and respected. That was back when he wasn't afraid to break ranks with his crusty, white-bred party to support ideas that actually made sense. Believe it or not, the party of G-Dubs does not corner the market on brilliant ideas. That was back when he was "The Real McCain," or the "Maverick," as he so proudly calls himself these days. Fiercely independent. His own man.
But he's Rove's man these days. A man of the system. A victim, maybe. Another disappointment in a long line of disappointments, certainly.
These days he's all about fear and smear. And every time he's had an opportunity to stand up and do the right thing by denouncing these tactics as harmful to the process, calling for "reform" as he had so many times before he woke up and discovered he was viable, he's gone the way of the Rove. He's supported the fear. He's supported the smear.
There was a time I actually liked McCain. Andrew Sullivan essentially summarized for me the reasons I've moved away from him and no longer hold him in high esteem. I've posted it below for your reading pleasure. Just another career politician contributing to the problem...
*************************************
Andrew Sullivan on McCain's Integrity
10 Sep 2008 01:40 pm
For me, this surreal moment - like the entire surrealism of the past ten days - is not really about Sarah Palin or Barack Obama or pigs or fish or lipstick. It's about John McCain. The one thing I always thought I knew about him is that he is a decent and honest person.
When he knows, as every sane person must, that Obama did not in any conceivable sense mean that Sarah Palin is a pig, what did he do? Did he come out and say so and end this charade? Or did he acquiesce in and thereby enable the mindless Rovianism that is now the core feature of his campaign?
So far, he has let us all down. My guess is he will continue to do so. And that decision, for my part, ends whatever respect I once had for him. On core moral issues, where this man knew what the right thing was, and had to pick between good and evil, he chose evil.
When he knew that George W. Bush's war in Iraq was a fiasco and catastrophe, and before Donald Rumsfeld quit, McCain endorsed George W. Bush against his fellow Vietnam vet, John Kerry in 2004. By that decision, McCain lost any credibility that he can ever put country first. He put party first and his own career first ahead of what he knew was best for the country.
And when the Senate and House voted overwhelmingly to condemn and end the torture regime of Bush and Cheney in 2006, McCain again had a clear choice between good and evil, and chose evil.
He capitulated and enshrined torture as the policy of the United States, by allowing the CIA to use techniques as bad as and worse than the torture inflicted on him in Vietnam. He gave the war criminals in the White House retroactive immunity against the prosecution they so richly deserve. The enormity of this moral betrayal, this betrayal of his country's honor, has yet to sink in. But for my part, it now makes much more sense. He is not the man I thought he was.
And when he had the chance to engage in a real and substantive debate against the most talented politician of the next generation in a fall campaign where vital issues are at stake, what did McCain do? He began his general campaign with a series of grotesque, trivial and absurd MTV-style attacks on Obama's virtues and implied disgusting things about his opponent's patriotism.
And then, because he could see he was going to lose, ten days ago, he threw caution to the wind and with no vetting whatsoever, picked a woman who, by her decision to endure her own eight-month pregnancy of a Down Syndrome child in public, that he was going to reignite the culture war as a last stand against Obama. That's all that is happening right now: a massive bump in the enthusiasm of the Christianist base. This is pure Rove.
Yes, McCain made a decision that revealed many appalling things about him. In the end, his final concern is not national security. No one who cares about national security would pick as vice-president someone who knows nothing about it as his replacement. No one who cares about this country's safety would gamble the security of the world on a total unknown because she polled well with the Christianist base. No person who truly believed that the surge was integral to this country's national security would pick as his veep candidate a woman who, so far as we can tell anything, opposed it at the time.
McCain has demonstrated in the last two months that he does not have the character to be president of the United States. And that is why it is more important than ever to ensure that Barack Obama is the next president. The alternative is now unthinkable. And McCain - no one else - has proved it.
I promise it won't be like this forever. I will rise again. I will have stories to tell about my life in corporate America. I will have heartfelt insights to share as a proud step-father. I will have keen observations to note in the realm of the defacatory arts. I will describe embarrassing moments. I will turn you onto Showtime's original programming, all of which is top-notch from Dexter to Weeds to Californication. I will tell you things that you may have heard but did not know were true: like the iPhone is pretty sweet, but the AT&T network is the absolute worst. I will wax philosophic on the role alcohol has played in advancing procreation.
But for today, more important matters are at hand. Somehow I feel obligated to share whenever someone has put into words something I wish I had the time to put into words.
Yes, it's political. So if that's going to turn you off, turn away now. Unless you're bored. Otherwise, wade a little deeper.
You know, McCain was once I guy I liked, admired, and respected. That was back when he wasn't afraid to break ranks with his crusty, white-bred party to support ideas that actually made sense. Believe it or not, the party of G-Dubs does not corner the market on brilliant ideas. That was back when he was "The Real McCain," or the "Maverick," as he so proudly calls himself these days. Fiercely independent. His own man.
But he's Rove's man these days. A man of the system. A victim, maybe. Another disappointment in a long line of disappointments, certainly.
These days he's all about fear and smear. And every time he's had an opportunity to stand up and do the right thing by denouncing these tactics as harmful to the process, calling for "reform" as he had so many times before he woke up and discovered he was viable, he's gone the way of the Rove. He's supported the fear. He's supported the smear.
There was a time I actually liked McCain. Andrew Sullivan essentially summarized for me the reasons I've moved away from him and no longer hold him in high esteem. I've posted it below for your reading pleasure. Just another career politician contributing to the problem...
*************************************
Andrew Sullivan on McCain's Integrity
10 Sep 2008 01:40 pm
For me, this surreal moment - like the entire surrealism of the past ten days - is not really about Sarah Palin or Barack Obama or pigs or fish or lipstick. It's about John McCain. The one thing I always thought I knew about him is that he is a decent and honest person.
When he knows, as every sane person must, that Obama did not in any conceivable sense mean that Sarah Palin is a pig, what did he do? Did he come out and say so and end this charade? Or did he acquiesce in and thereby enable the mindless Rovianism that is now the core feature of his campaign?
So far, he has let us all down. My guess is he will continue to do so. And that decision, for my part, ends whatever respect I once had for him. On core moral issues, where this man knew what the right thing was, and had to pick between good and evil, he chose evil.
When he knew that George W. Bush's war in Iraq was a fiasco and catastrophe, and before Donald Rumsfeld quit, McCain endorsed George W. Bush against his fellow Vietnam vet, John Kerry in 2004. By that decision, McCain lost any credibility that he can ever put country first. He put party first and his own career first ahead of what he knew was best for the country.
And when the Senate and House voted overwhelmingly to condemn and end the torture regime of Bush and Cheney in 2006, McCain again had a clear choice between good and evil, and chose evil.
He capitulated and enshrined torture as the policy of the United States, by allowing the CIA to use techniques as bad as and worse than the torture inflicted on him in Vietnam. He gave the war criminals in the White House retroactive immunity against the prosecution they so richly deserve. The enormity of this moral betrayal, this betrayal of his country's honor, has yet to sink in. But for my part, it now makes much more sense. He is not the man I thought he was.
And when he had the chance to engage in a real and substantive debate against the most talented politician of the next generation in a fall campaign where vital issues are at stake, what did McCain do? He began his general campaign with a series of grotesque, trivial and absurd MTV-style attacks on Obama's virtues and implied disgusting things about his opponent's patriotism.
And then, because he could see he was going to lose, ten days ago, he threw caution to the wind and with no vetting whatsoever, picked a woman who, by her decision to endure her own eight-month pregnancy of a Down Syndrome child in public, that he was going to reignite the culture war as a last stand against Obama. That's all that is happening right now: a massive bump in the enthusiasm of the Christianist base. This is pure Rove.
Yes, McCain made a decision that revealed many appalling things about him. In the end, his final concern is not national security. No one who cares about national security would pick as vice-president someone who knows nothing about it as his replacement. No one who cares about this country's safety would gamble the security of the world on a total unknown because she polled well with the Christianist base. No person who truly believed that the surge was integral to this country's national security would pick as his veep candidate a woman who, so far as we can tell anything, opposed it at the time.
McCain has demonstrated in the last two months that he does not have the character to be president of the United States. And that is why it is more important than ever to ensure that Barack Obama is the next president. The alternative is now unthinkable. And McCain - no one else - has proved it.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
A MAVERICK ON THE HORN
This is another gem for your files. Nothing like a political throwdown to get America's creative juices flowing. Check out the phone call McCain made to Sarah Palin when he asked her to be his running mate.
Good stuff!
Good stuff!
Thursday, September 04, 2008
PALIN-DRONING
This Daily Show snippet is another classic. Calling out the hypocrites and their double standards by using their own words. Genius.
Seriously - this heretofore little-known woman, who I am certain is a fantastic person, is one slip in the shower away from being leader of the free world. One playful "boo!" away from the Oval Office. One more irregularly shaped mole away from an impromptu inauguration. And does anyone even know or care what she stands for? Has anyone seen her resume (or lack thereof?). That McCain would put us all in jeopardy with such an irresponsible selection when so many vastly more qualified running mates speaks volumes about the decision, which is an overt play to woo disenfranchised Hillary supporters away from their deeply held convictions and toward a vote of spite. Hell hath no fury...
Yeah...I saw the speech, and forgive me, but moved I was not. I disliked Hillary...but at least Hillary understood global warming, the science of evolution, and the function of a Vice President. In case you're unfamiliar, Sarah Palin has recently been unclear on all three, to put it nicely. Go ahead and YouTube it. Good stuff!
Look - we all have friends on both sides here. Smart people on both sides. But this isn't the Bears versus the Packers. It's a 4 year commitment to the policies and ideologies of a handful of people. Is there no compromise we can come to in this? Maybe Obama and McCain could just agree right now to take turns and swap being leader of the free world every month. At this point, I'd settle for that. I'm okay sharing. I can give a little to get a little. How about you?
After eight ruinous years, I am becoming genuinely afraid that the very rich, the very religious, and the very racist will unite to ensure we remain in a perpetual state of decline. At least then I suppose I'll be able to apply for my dream job: drilling in the arctic. Ice road trucking anyone?
Seriously - this heretofore little-known woman, who I am certain is a fantastic person, is one slip in the shower away from being leader of the free world. One playful "boo!" away from the Oval Office. One more irregularly shaped mole away from an impromptu inauguration. And does anyone even know or care what she stands for? Has anyone seen her resume (or lack thereof?). That McCain would put us all in jeopardy with such an irresponsible selection when so many vastly more qualified running mates speaks volumes about the decision, which is an overt play to woo disenfranchised Hillary supporters away from their deeply held convictions and toward a vote of spite. Hell hath no fury...
Yeah...I saw the speech, and forgive me, but moved I was not. I disliked Hillary...but at least Hillary understood global warming, the science of evolution, and the function of a Vice President. In case you're unfamiliar, Sarah Palin has recently been unclear on all three, to put it nicely. Go ahead and YouTube it. Good stuff!
Look - we all have friends on both sides here. Smart people on both sides. But this isn't the Bears versus the Packers. It's a 4 year commitment to the policies and ideologies of a handful of people. Is there no compromise we can come to in this? Maybe Obama and McCain could just agree right now to take turns and swap being leader of the free world every month. At this point, I'd settle for that. I'm okay sharing. I can give a little to get a little. How about you?
After eight ruinous years, I am becoming genuinely afraid that the very rich, the very religious, and the very racist will unite to ensure we remain in a perpetual state of decline. At least then I suppose I'll be able to apply for my dream job: drilling in the arctic. Ice road trucking anyone?
Monday, August 25, 2008
THAT'S A FACT, JACK!
BELOW: Political Analyst Jack Cafferty's commentary on the second coming of Bush. This shit is spot on. The fact that McCain is anywhere close to Obama in the polls is evidence of a country seemingly content with mediocrity. Why do we expect so little from our elected officials?
Or maybe my suspicions about polls are bearing out. How hard would it be for a handful of people to manipulate poll results toward influencing public opinion? Not too hard, I suspect. Decisions are made behind closed doors all day every day for the purpose of mass deception and coercion. And not just in Dick Cheney's office. Information is power. I don't believe the hype. I refuse to believe we would sooner perpetuate our nation's recent failures when we have an historical opportunity to turn the corner. Or is that simply the price of prejudice?
What say you, Jack?
***********For your files:
Russia invades Georgia and President Bush goes on vacation. Our president has spent one-third of his entire two terms in office either at Camp David, Maryland, or at Crawford, Texas, on vacation.
His time away from the Oval Office included the month leading up to 9/11, when there were signs Osama bin Laden was planning to attack America, and the time Hurricane Katrina destroyed the city of New Orleans.
Sen. John McCain takes weekends off and limits his campaign events to one a day. He made an exception for the religious forum on Saturday at Saddleback Church in Southern California.
I think he made a big mistake. When he was invited last spring to attend a discussion of the role of faith in his life with Sens. Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton, at Messiah College in Pennsylvania, McCain didn't bother to show up. Now I know why.
It occurs to me that John McCain is as intellectually shallow as our current president. When asked what his Christian faith means to him, his answer was a one-liner. "It means I'm saved and forgiven." Great scholars have wrestled with the meaning of faith for centuries. McCain then retold a story we've all heard a hundred times about a guard in Vietnam drawing a cross in the sand.
Asked about his greatest moral failure, he cited his first marriage, which ended in divorce. While saying it was his greatest moral failing, he offered nothing in the way of explanation. Why not?
Throughout the evening, McCain chose to recite portions of his stump speech as answers to the questions he was being asked. Why? He has lived 71 years. Surely he has some thoughts on what it all means that go beyond canned answers culled from the same speech he delivers every day.
He was asked "if evil exists." His response was to repeat for the umpteenth time that Osama bin Laden is a bad man and he will pursue him to "the gates of hell." That was it.
He was asked to define rich. After trying to dodge the question -- his wife is worth a reported $100 million -- he finally said he thought an income of $5 million was rich.
One after another, McCain's answers were shallow, simplistic, and trite. He showed the same intellectual curiosity that George Bush has -- virtually none.
Where are John McCain's writings exploring the vexing moral issues of our time? Where are his position papers setting forth his careful consideration of foreign policy, the welfare state, education, America's moral responsibility in the world, etc., etc., etc.?
John McCain graduated 894th in a class of 899 at the Naval Academy at Annapolis. His father and grandfather were four star admirals in the Navy. Some have suggested that might have played a role in McCain being admitted. His academic record was awful. And it shows over and over again whenever McCain is called upon to think on his feet.
He no longer allows reporters unfettered access to him aboard the "Straight Talk Express" for a reason. He simply makes too many mistakes. Unless he's reciting talking points or reading from notes or a TelePrompTer, John McCain is lost. He can drop bon mots at a bowling alley or diner -- short glib responses that get a chuckle, but beyond that McCain gets in over his head very quickly.
I am sick and tired of the president of the United States embarrassing me. The world we live in is too complex to entrust it to someone else whose idea of intellectual curiosity and grasp of foreign policy issues is to tell us he can look into Vladimir Putin's eyes and see into his soul.
George Bush's record as a student, military man, businessman and leader of the free world is one of constant failure. And the part that troubles me most is he seems content with himself.
He will leave office with the country $10 trillion in debt, fighting two wars, our international reputation in shambles, our government cloaked in secrecy and suspicion that his entire presidency has been a litany of broken laws and promises, our citizens' faith in our own country ripped to shreds. Yet Bush goes bumbling along, grinning and spewing moronic one-liners, as though nobody understands what a colossal failure he has been.
I fear to the depth of my being that John McCain is just like him.
Or maybe my suspicions about polls are bearing out. How hard would it be for a handful of people to manipulate poll results toward influencing public opinion? Not too hard, I suspect. Decisions are made behind closed doors all day every day for the purpose of mass deception and coercion. And not just in Dick Cheney's office. Information is power. I don't believe the hype. I refuse to believe we would sooner perpetuate our nation's recent failures when we have an historical opportunity to turn the corner. Or is that simply the price of prejudice?
What say you, Jack?
***********For your files:
Russia invades Georgia and President Bush goes on vacation. Our president has spent one-third of his entire two terms in office either at Camp David, Maryland, or at Crawford, Texas, on vacation.
His time away from the Oval Office included the month leading up to 9/11, when there were signs Osama bin Laden was planning to attack America, and the time Hurricane Katrina destroyed the city of New Orleans.
Sen. John McCain takes weekends off and limits his campaign events to one a day. He made an exception for the religious forum on Saturday at Saddleback Church in Southern California.
I think he made a big mistake. When he was invited last spring to attend a discussion of the role of faith in his life with Sens. Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton, at Messiah College in Pennsylvania, McCain didn't bother to show up. Now I know why.
It occurs to me that John McCain is as intellectually shallow as our current president. When asked what his Christian faith means to him, his answer was a one-liner. "It means I'm saved and forgiven." Great scholars have wrestled with the meaning of faith for centuries. McCain then retold a story we've all heard a hundred times about a guard in Vietnam drawing a cross in the sand.
Asked about his greatest moral failure, he cited his first marriage, which ended in divorce. While saying it was his greatest moral failing, he offered nothing in the way of explanation. Why not?
Throughout the evening, McCain chose to recite portions of his stump speech as answers to the questions he was being asked. Why? He has lived 71 years. Surely he has some thoughts on what it all means that go beyond canned answers culled from the same speech he delivers every day.
He was asked "if evil exists." His response was to repeat for the umpteenth time that Osama bin Laden is a bad man and he will pursue him to "the gates of hell." That was it.
He was asked to define rich. After trying to dodge the question -- his wife is worth a reported $100 million -- he finally said he thought an income of $5 million was rich.
One after another, McCain's answers were shallow, simplistic, and trite. He showed the same intellectual curiosity that George Bush has -- virtually none.
Where are John McCain's writings exploring the vexing moral issues of our time? Where are his position papers setting forth his careful consideration of foreign policy, the welfare state, education, America's moral responsibility in the world, etc., etc., etc.?
John McCain graduated 894th in a class of 899 at the Naval Academy at Annapolis. His father and grandfather were four star admirals in the Navy. Some have suggested that might have played a role in McCain being admitted. His academic record was awful. And it shows over and over again whenever McCain is called upon to think on his feet.
He no longer allows reporters unfettered access to him aboard the "Straight Talk Express" for a reason. He simply makes too many mistakes. Unless he's reciting talking points or reading from notes or a TelePrompTer, John McCain is lost. He can drop bon mots at a bowling alley or diner -- short glib responses that get a chuckle, but beyond that McCain gets in over his head very quickly.
I am sick and tired of the president of the United States embarrassing me. The world we live in is too complex to entrust it to someone else whose idea of intellectual curiosity and grasp of foreign policy issues is to tell us he can look into Vladimir Putin's eyes and see into his soul.
George Bush's record as a student, military man, businessman and leader of the free world is one of constant failure. And the part that troubles me most is he seems content with himself.
He will leave office with the country $10 trillion in debt, fighting two wars, our international reputation in shambles, our government cloaked in secrecy and suspicion that his entire presidency has been a litany of broken laws and promises, our citizens' faith in our own country ripped to shreds. Yet Bush goes bumbling along, grinning and spewing moronic one-liners, as though nobody understands what a colossal failure he has been.
I fear to the depth of my being that John McCain is just like him.
Sunday, August 24, 2008
THE OLD FARTFUL DODGER
Classic McCain. Here's a snippet from one of the Republican primary debates. Listen to the question, then try and track with McCain's answer. In case you forget what the question is, it's on the screen the entire time. I nearly had tears in my eyes as this guy talks about everything there is to talk about except the question. Then I realize it's because he either didn't hear it correctly, or forgot what it was 10 seconds into his answer. Good stuff here! Apparently there's a fine line between "experience" and "dementia."
Thursday, August 14, 2008
OLYMPIC DREAMS
Wish I had the time and energy to go off on the state of the world right now. Heaven knows there's plenty of shit that needs going off on. Unfortunately, I sold my soul to the man (for now) and owe all of my time to the folks writing me a check every two weeks. Freelance life is starting to look awfully good to me right about now.
If I were a freelance writer, you'd hire me - wouldn't you? But would you pay $75/hour. Sorry, that's my rate. I'm worth it. You know I am.
Anyhow - here's a great link for your amusement.
It's a look at some ways to make the Olympics more interesting. Very creative. Looking forward to 2012 already (isn't that the end of the world?)
If I were a freelance writer, you'd hire me - wouldn't you? But would you pay $75/hour. Sorry, that's my rate. I'm worth it. You know I am.
Anyhow - here's a great link for your amusement.
It's a look at some ways to make the Olympics more interesting. Very creative. Looking forward to 2012 already (isn't that the end of the world?)
TALK LIKE AN EGYPTIAN
Some of the pictures HERE are fucking hilarious. Gotta check 'em out. The controls to the slideshow are in the upper right hand corner of your browser window.
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
POP GOES THE BRAIN CELL
Not sure I like the implications of this experiment in modern technology. Hello speakerphone!
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Saturday, July 19, 2008
Thursday, July 17, 2008
HOMEBODY BLUES
Man - I haven't been anywhere. I'm a total loser. This is what happens when you have a fear of flying. But I've been getting a lot better. Even made it all the way to Hawaii for my wedding!
Thanks to Prenta for sharing this fun site. Go check it out. They let you check off all of the states and countries you've visited and map it out for you.
Monday, July 07, 2008
Wednesday, July 02, 2008
INDEPENDENCE DAY EXAMINATION
As we get set to celebrate another fine year of independence from the Redcoats, I thought it appropriate that I administer a POP QUIZ. Don't worry, I took it first to make sure it was something you could handle. It's not that hard. It's a citizenship test and all Americans should be able to pass it. Can you?
Take the test right now!
For your reference, I scored 95%, missing just one question (#19). I hope you beat me, but doubt you will. I am very, very smart...and you are, well, sometimes you get your shoes on the right feet.
That's right...I'm trash talking. Now go take the test and find out whether you're worthy of calling yourself an American. Sorry, there's no version en espanol. English is the official language here, after all. For now, anyhow. That will be changing soon at the rate Mexico is spilling into the southwest - a large part of which, incidentally, had actually been part of Mexico at one point. So perhaps we shouldn't call it illegal immigration, but rather The Formerly Mexico Reclamation Project.
So what did you get? On the test. You didn't take it yet? Go now and find out if you bleed red, white, and blue. And no, I don't mind if you marvel at my greatness. That's what gets me out of bed most mornings.
Take the test right now!
For your reference, I scored 95%, missing just one question (#19). I hope you beat me, but doubt you will. I am very, very smart...and you are, well, sometimes you get your shoes on the right feet.
That's right...I'm trash talking. Now go take the test and find out whether you're worthy of calling yourself an American. Sorry, there's no version en espanol. English is the official language here, after all. For now, anyhow. That will be changing soon at the rate Mexico is spilling into the southwest - a large part of which, incidentally, had actually been part of Mexico at one point. So perhaps we shouldn't call it illegal immigration, but rather The Formerly Mexico Reclamation Project.
So what did you get? On the test. You didn't take it yet? Go now and find out if you bleed red, white, and blue. And no, I don't mind if you marvel at my greatness. That's what gets me out of bed most mornings.
Tuesday, July 01, 2008
Thursday, June 26, 2008
BURRO TREND'S ASS OF THE YEAR
Here's a look at life in the not so distant future if the price of oil continues to climb. We'll be shopping for transportation at AssMax and picking up spare stirrups at the DonkeyZone.
Sunday, June 22, 2008
WHERE THE HELL IS MATT?
Matt's back. In case you missed his first round the globe dance explosion, here's the latest. This dude is hilarious, and his feat fun to watch.
Saturday, June 21, 2008
NOW WAY, JOSE!
Here's an ID card confiscated by police during a traffic stop. You have to admire the resourcefulness of some folks...just not in this case. Wow.I showed this image to my favorite 8 year old to get his thoughts.
He said, "Why is that lady there?"
"What do you mean?" I said.
"That lady," he said, and pointed at the woman in the photo. She's not supposed to be there."
"What does that tell you?" I asked.
"It's not real," he said confidently.
Smart kid. Smarter than Jose, anyway.
Friday, June 20, 2008
TRAILER PARKING
Oh shit...get ready for Will Farrell's next classic. Check out that restricted trailer. Good stuff.
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