No Plans Tonight!

After 7 evenings straight of social commitments (sometimes multiple events in one night), I cannot begin to tell you how excited I am to stay at home and interact with no one except E tonight.

I have been getting more and more exhausted with each evening of social fun.

I would prefer to stay home and avoid the office today for many reasons, but the largest one is I'd rather avoid all smalltalk for at least 24 hours.

This weekend? After I recover? We've got 2 parties to attend. I am actually slightly relieved that I will be required to miss one due to work.

One of the greatest things about summer is that the warm weather makes people more likely to go out and interact with each other. Summer, for me, means barbeques and opportunities to see friends I haven't seen in at least a year.

And yet, the thing that's got me most excited about this weekend is the one-on-one runs with 2 good friends and the alone-time I've got scheduled for the garden.

It's times like these that I am convinced that I'm definitely an introvert.

Awesome Visitor

Brother came to stay for a short visit.

Yesterday, he did a roof inspection and gave us the awesome news that the drips we had been worried about could be easily fixed with a small bucket of tar in less than a day.

When we found out we had surprise dinner guests from out of town, he volunteered to be our chef, making barbeque tri-tip, barbeque artichokes (an awesome innovation), and barbequed potatoes & mushrooms. Yummm.

Last night, after the guests left, I lay on the couch with my belly full of food, with my head and shoulders cuddled up on E & Brother just below my feet. Content beyond belief, I fell asleep to one of my dad's favorite movies.

Today, Brother's going to patch the roof and then head home.

Am I a spoiled sister, or what?

Delicious Disaster

The dinner plans called for salad with artichokes from our plant on the side, with dippings pre-prepared.

What could possibly go wrong? OH, I have 2 ideas:

1. The Aphids love the artichokes. We have not beaten them back. The neem oil is insufficient. We may have to cut all fruit, aggressively wash the plant and treat with soapy water, or garlic water, or serious chemicals, depending on who we listen to. Regardless, despite our harvest, we did not have 2 healthy non-bugg-ified artichokes for dinner. We had one.

2. The gorgeous romaine lettuce I bought at Draegers when Arvay was here? Yeah, it molded. And not a little bit. Think, "wow, that looks like cotton candy on the side of that lettuce... that is so weird..."

So, instead, I boiled the one remaining artichoke in onion cuttings and a last minute addition of olive oil, salt and black pepper for 40 minutes, then added Quinoa (which E had never had, and proclaimed, "weird, but oddly good") and the remaining sauces we used for dipping the artichokes when Arvay was here (read: mainly mustards and butter).

At the end of the day, it was quite good. And it tasted healthy. So, if you get a chance, enjoy:


-1 cup red quinoa
-1 artichoke, top cut off, washed
-4 cups water (or more)
-2 T salt (or so)
-2 T black pepper (or so)
-4 T mixed butter, lemon juice, and mustards

1. Boil artichoke in water for 40 minutes. Add olive oil to artichoke at 20 minutes or so.
2. Add quinoa, salt, pepper to water and continue to cook for 10 minutes.
3. Add butter, lemon juice & mustard mix and boil remaining liquids from the quinoa
4. Serve 2 bowls of quinoa, each topped in 1/2 of the split, cooked artichoke (contrary to what many cookbooks will tell you -- artichokes from a plant often need to be boiled/steamed for 1 hour +).

The Painful Truth

Sometimes, you have to listen to people you care say things about you that hurt.

Your job is to listen to these things and to grow, and become a better person. Not to focus on how hurtful it is. Not to challenge them and ask why they felt the need to hurt you. Because, really, they are giving you an opportunity that others wouldn't give you. Others would take the easy way out and let you continue in your destructive patterns without challenging you. So, if you are honest with yourself, you have to be thankful.

But damn... wouldn't it be great if there was a way to have the growth without the painful reality?

Anyways...

The Social Professional

I've been networking like crazy lately -- it's something I let fall by the wayside the first few years of my practice, so I'm trying to make up for lost time. I've been meeting with lawyers of all levels of experience from contract attorneys, to solos, to attorneys at small, medium, and large firms, to attorneys who are in-house, to government attorneys.

The practice of law varies quite a bit -- there are myriad ways to have a career within it, and all of the different personalities I've spoken with have found different ways to make the career work for them.

Most recently, I went to 2-hour lunch with female partner who had left my law firm to be a partner at a much larger firm. Because of her time at my firm, she had wonderful insights and helpful suggestions on how to be happier and succeed at my firm (and she was excited to share them with me!). Also, I could be more candid with her about my experiences and concerns because she doesn't have a vested interest that aligns with the firm anymore.

Finally, I've found a more senior female mentor who wants to be involved in helping me grow my career. Hurrah! [As an interesting aside, I never seemed to have trouble finding women to play that role when I was an engineer -- despite the facts that (i) women make up more than half the law school grads and only about 25% of engineering school grads and (ii) the average engineer is significantly more introverted than the average attorney.]

I'm not sure why I was reminded of this, but recently, I thought back to an unfortunate incident that happened when I was about 2 years out of college. A guy I'd studied with as an undergraduate had interviewed with my company at my recommendation after he had been laid off. He'd been a casual friend, and I'd wanted to help him out. Several months later, he sent me a creepy hand-written letter professing his love for me and his anger that my new boyfriend at the time (E) was in my life.

I was surprised and annoyed. But, worse, he sent an email to my boss at the time asking if he had obtained the "boss seal of approval" despite not getting the job offer because he "knew that I respected my boss's opinion." My boss, obviously, was also surprised, and asked me what the hell the e-mail was all about.

Embarrassed, angry, and looking for some more experienced advice on how to handle this situation, I called my uncle, a high-level executive at a tech company. His initial response was not what I was expecting:

Oh. That's bad. You don't want to get a reputation as a woman who has stalkers. That is very unprofessional. You need to get rid of this situation, ASAP.

At the time, I thought his response was callous and a bit insensitive. *OF COURSE* I needed to get rid of the situation, duh! But, why is it *MY FAULT* that I had a stalker? Why would it be considered *UNPROFESSIONAL*?

Didn't really matter though -- I sent creepy-letter-guy a curt response explaining that despite the advice of many people I respected who had read the creepy letter, I was not sending it to the police, yet (but that those folks had copies and knew where he lived and if anything bad happened to me, he was going to be suspect #1). Rather than file charges, I explained to him that his behavior was absolutely unacceptable and I wanted nothing to do with him. I wrote that if he ever contacted me or anyone else about me again, I would have no choice but to consider it an aggressive act of stalking and would have to press charges.

I never heard from him again.

Now, after several years of professional experience under my belt, I think I understand what my uncle was getting at (although I still think he could have been a bit more empathetic and supportive in the delivery of his message).

There are people who regularly bring their personal drama to work and share it with everyone, including colleagues who are uncomfortable with the intimate details they feel are none of their business. Some of these people appear to believe that by sharing their personal issues, others in the workplace are now bonded to them and should help them accomplish their job responsibilities in the face of their problems. (Group 1)

In contrast, there are others who go through very difficult issues (death of a loved one, miscarriages, family problems, divorce, serious illnesses) and share the issues only with their close friends at work, if anyone, unless it's unavoidable. They do their best to accomplish their responsibilities despite their personal issues, and if they do need help, more often than not, they quietly go through official channels to get it. (Group 2)

I think my uncle was trying to say,

Because someone you brought into the workplace is creating drama around you, you look like you belong to the first group. To the extent you have the opportunity to control the situation, it's usually better, professionally, to do so in a way that makes you belong to the second group.

Certainly, this is the dominant paradigm in all companies and environments where I've worked, even as a teenager. From a purely business efficiency standpoint, it makes perfect sense.

But, I do have a nagging suspicion of sexism (or perhaps just general unfairness) when I think about the reality that the workplace doesn't reward people for being open with their personal lives, and, may actually punish them for doing so. The sexism suspicion stems from the perception (true or not) that women are more likely to experience emotional issues and need to share them, discuss them, and openly deal with them than men. I, however, don't belong to that group of women. I am an intensely private person and if I need to discuss personal issues, will seek out my long-term close friends for support. So maybe this isn't a sexism thing, and rather is unfair to extroverts of a certain type.

I don't mind when people are open with their issues so long as I can leave the room without repercussions if the details make me uncomfortable and so long as they get their work done without expecting that others will help them out.

Unfortunately, the group of folks who share their issues and then expect that others will step in to help them may have poisoned the well for those people who merely need the emotional outlet, but don't need any additional professional support. Because, whether or not it's fair or sexist, in my professional experience, the folks in group one are perceived as less likely to be dependable in the workplace.

What do you think?

June Showers

Tonight, it broke into a 10-minute loud rain that stopped all conversation around 9 PM.

June? Heavy rain? In Silicon Valley?

Crazy. And yet, true.

Just now, it started lightly showering again.

Weird.

The plants should be happy.

Update (23:42 PST): The heavy rains are back... this is so odd.

LOOK!



Tomatoes! (even on plants that have gotten a wee bit sick -- see the purple tint to the stem and leaves? Bummer.)

The garden has grown quite a bit (and ideally, will grow much faster now that I fertilized with fish/kelp emulsion 'cause my plants were just not as green as most of my friends' plants...).

As you may recall, it started out like this:



A month later, it looked like this:



And now, 2 weeks later, we've got this:



The biggest tomato so far is a little 1 inch diameter fruit, hanging off of Brandywine Red Lantis (I have no idea what the Lantis stands for, that's just what Cynthia called it):



And much to my surprise, the most prolific fruit producer, in terms of total mass so far has been White Oxheart. Weird. I would have thought some of the earlier maturing varieties would be kicking its butt at this stage.

In the meantime, while we salivate over the future tomatoes, we get to enjoy good stuff while we wait:



The fruits of the ridiculously prolific artichoke plant, the mint (which we transplanted out of the raised beds because it was taking over and threatening Gold Nugget), baby basil leaves, the end of the parseley, and the first garlic to fall over, which has now been hung to dry.

Other than that, the garden is coming along as gardens do. We've got aphids. We've got some fungus. We've got ladybugs, bees, earwigs, and worms. I spent several hours on Sunday fertilizing, pruning, tying tomato plants to stakes, and harvesting. The plants appeared to very much appreciate it in less than 24 hours, which is very gratifying.

G & C gave us a cucumber seedling that is infinitely superior to the one remaining living cuke I'm nursing along (I planted 2, one died). I think, if there's one thing I learned this year, it's that seedlings don't like direct sun until they are a little bigger than the first true leaves. Oh, and that I probably should have watered the seedlings more while they were small. So I'll be planting that cucumber and taking out a couple of squash plants to give to them in return.

Finally, I made a Worm Castings Tea and plan to spray tomorrow in the hopes that it will help ward of pests and encourage additional growth.

Oh, and E (with the help of C) built me a new compost box in the back yard. Our plastic bin is completely full of black gold. I turned it and watered it on Sunday and found that the only identifiable matter were some egg shell pieces. The rest was just dark, almost tar-colored, soft dirt-like soil. I can't wait to use it for the winter garden! Finally, after 3 years of composting...

Because the bin is full, we've been donating our kitchen scraps to the city compost, but I wanted to save them and use them in the soil. Thankfully, E & C were in a handy mood after the afternoon at the Maker Faire. So now we have a new two-cell compost bin made of pressure-treated wood. Yay!

In short, the gardening hobby grows. Literally. And we're having much fun.

40 Years

This weekend my sister and I helped host my Mom's retirement party.

She was a teacher for 40 years (with a couple of years in the middle where she took a break to run her own business and do some child-rearing).

Over 200 people came to the party, most of whom took a turn at the microphone to speak about how she had helped them and made their lives better.

One of the speakers was a man who had been a student of hers when he was in a car accident and then a coma for 45 days. When he woke, he had a diminished memory and couldn't speak. He couldn't remember many things, but he remembered my mom. And after he finished physical therapy for over a year, he returned to her classroom with a speak-and-spell (he still couldn't talk) to finish high-school and graduate.

I couldn't help but think that it was highly unlikely that my retirement party would be anything like it. No matter how good I am, have been, or will be at the jobs I've done, am doing or will do -- I probably won't have a positive professional impact on anywhere near as many people as she did.

Teaching really is a noble profession.

Like Manna From Up Above

Literally. Like up North.

Arvay is staying with us this week!

Yay! I get up and I have a built in running buddy every morning. How great is that? At night, I have someone who laughs with me at puns, much to E's distress.

As an extra bonus, Arvay brought us local gifts:



-More Moosetard!
-Salmonberry(!) Syrup
-Goat Milk Soap
-Spun Raw Honey (with and without cranberry)
-And, of course, the Chris-moose ornament and the Fresh as a Daisy (Wild Alaska Daisy seed in a fertilizer nugget)

Yeah. Arvay is an awesome friend. We can't wait to go visit!

Productivity Despite It All (AKA Happy Memorial Day Weekend!)

Saturday, early AM, I didn't feel like heading out for my run, so I took E's car to be detailed to remove the colors sticking to the silver paint as a result of me oh-so-gracefully backing into not one, but two poles (one red, one yellow). It looks almost as good as new.

Finally, after much procrastination on the running front (including filing everything on my desk, laundry, and some work), I admitted that I didn't really want to run, so E and I fit in a 16.5 mile bike ride on our local trails, which left me quite sore. My plan to substitute an easy bike ride for my run ended up being a much better use of time with E (and a better workout) than I had planned.

Saturday evening, we rolled into Santa Cruz just as the crowds were leaving and enjoyed a delicious home-cooked meal at E2 and P's, including 4 of our plant's artichokes.

Sunday morning, E2 and I headed out to do a 10 mile run in the Forest of Nicene Marks. But, of course, our plans were complicated by the crowds from the Santa Cruz Blues Festival. So, eventually, we just parked at the beach and ran into town, into the park, and limited our actual distance in the forest to get in a 10 mile out-and-back. When we finished at noon, we were proud of ourselves -- it was the furthest either of us had run in quite a while, and it included more than a mile of elevation change. I think we'll both survive the half in a couple of weeks despite our general lazy approach to training.

When we finished our run, the sky was still overcast and grey -- it looked like it would be a pea-soup day. But, the weather surprised us and the fog dissolved into a bright blue. All four of us sat in the sun and enjoyed beverages and food on the deck at The Crow's Nest Grill. We must have spent almost 2 hours snacking, drinking, talking, and watching the waves crash on the sand in front of the cliffs while the boats, the volley-ball games, and the beachy folks went by. It was a perfectly Californian day.

The rest of the day was appropriately lazy, with nothing but grocery shopping for the week, cooking dinner, reading, and more laundry.

And today? Well, today, I had big plans -- a 9:30 AM yoga class. I woke at 8:15, dressed, enjoyed some coffee, and set out on the leisurely 1 mile walk to downtown. Unfortunately, at the intersection of the two main streets that define the east end of downtown, I realized that it was 1 mile to the *beginning* of downtown, but that I still had another 0.5 miles 'til the yoga studio. After waiting for an eternity for the walk sign, I sprinted the 0.56 miles but opened the door to an empty lobby with a clock reading 9:33. I listened for a moment and could hear the soothing voice of the instructor leading people through the flow. If I entered, I'd interrupt the class and the wonderful calm she had already established.

So, I walked home.

And, in keeping with the theme of the weekend, I'm now procrastinating on the yoga front. I could plan to go to a different class today, or I could do one of my DVDs. But, I've got some other good stuff on tap for today -- some work I owe some clients, a wine pick up at the wine store, a trip to good will, more laundry, and a pedicure and facial.

So, maybe, maybe if I *really* motivate, I'll fit in a yoga DVD before the trip to the spa. But, the great thing about this morning's mis-hap is that even if I don't, I already fit in 3 miles, including some unplanned speed work.

I hope you also fit in some relaxing (and oddly productive) procrastination on your holiday weekend as well.

Looking for something good to do?

Feeling like you don't give enough back to your community?

Feeling like you need something to believe in?

Feeling like you need an everyman hero (especially if he had horrid shin splints from his training and keeps going because of his commitment?)

Then, contribute to my friend Guarav's TNT campaign. Like me, he lost a parent too early. Unlike me, he's got another life on the way that he's excited to support and be a great example for.

To help himself live, grieve, evolve, and you know, just be, he's busting his ass, training for a marathon (!) that will be very hard for him.

If you are looking for a good cause where you can donate (where you can get a tax write-off), I encourage you to support him.

He's 72% to his goal. Let's help him get there!

Where can I buy one?

The Pedi-sedate.

Better Late than Never

E sent me the adorable story of Shizo Kanakuri, who dropped out of the 1912 summer Olympics marathon only to finish it later. Much later. Like 54 years, 8 months, 6 days, 8 hours, and 32 minutes and 20.3 seconds later.

Also, our garden keeps growing:



All of the summer plants are still alive. Although, if I am honest, I will admit that I fear I may lose Green Giant, and Japanese Black Trifele who are not perfect, and may be sick. But the rest appear to be fine.

And, since we planted 34 total varieties, I think we'll be okay.

In other news, the theory that artichoke plants from seeds do not produce until the second or third year is crazy. Check it out:



That artichoke plant? It's a single plant. It's 4 feet tall. It's given us 2 huge artichokes, 2 smaller ones, 1 more huge and is incubating 3-7 medium sized chokes.

Plus, those huge 4-foot tall grass-looking things to the left? That's garlic. Garlic we planted back in October.

And, as if the freakish huge garlic wasn't enough, the onions have started to send up "flower stalks" or "seed stalks" which is ordinarily something that happens after 2 years, but for me, no. We've got 4 foot tall seed stalks on onions that haven't even been harvested after 1 year:



So, yeah. That's the garden.

Also, given the increasing size of the tomatoes, cucumbers, squash, onions, garlic, eggplants, etc. We discontinued the CSA. E gave a cheer when I announced the last delivery. I'm not sure if that's a good thing...

The Gender Gap?

This study caught my attention because it resonates with me:

Many Women Lawyers with Kids do as well as men.

I am often frustrated when studies on women's earnings do not control for the fact that women are more likely than men to step out of the work force for family obligations, be they children, parental, or other.

If you control for actions related to time off, at least in the legal field, it looks like it is an even playing field.

One with many faults, flags, fouls, overtimes, and rough games, no doubt. But even play-time prestige appears to be available.

It would appear, that at least in some subsets of the world, women have completely leveled the playing field. So, how do we explain the lower percentage of women in partnership?

That's the interesting question...

I have my theories, but I'd be interested in yours...

Post-Vacation Food

First, I'd like to point out that according to Mark Bittman, the Netherlands is the only country in the world in which animals are represented in Parliament.

Moving on.

As a good vacation should, our recent trip increased my mass. Since I give myself ample room to move about within a 10 lb range, this is generally not an issue. But, this trip, what with the departure with a body near the top of the range, the multiple multiple-course meals, the Johnny Cakes, the fruity, sugary drinks with umbrellas... well, yeah, I came home decidedly OUTSIDE of my 10 lb range.

Conveniently, this is not the first time I've faced this demon, and I know what to do. Emergency healthy living, batman! Run AND yoga every day. Super-healthy meals at all times until back in the range, and even then, fairly healthy until in the bottom half of the range. Yeah... we've got some ground to cover.

So, in the interests of eating super-healthy (and making use of what was in the garden), I made the following. I was shocked at how delicious, filling, and just in general, how great they were. Perhaps the overages of life cause us to enjoy our vacations more, and the overages of vacation cause us to enjoy our lives more. Or something. Anyway -- in case you are looking for some healthy food:

Mustard garbonzo soup

-1 lb mustard leaves, washed, stemmed and chopped into bite-size strips
-1 onion, diced (if from an overzealous garden, feel free to chop the green portion too)
-3 T EVOO (because, despite my previous abhorrence, I use this abbreviation now.)
-2 cans (16 oz.) chicken broth
-juice of 1.5 lemons (or 2, if you are me, but you are most likely not, and you don't want it with as much lemon as I do)
-1 can garbonzo beans
-black pepper to taste

1. Heat olive oil and sautee onions 'til almost clear.
2. Add chicken broth and drained garbonzo beans, bring to a boil for 10 minutes to soften the garbonzo beans.
3. Add mustard leaves, wait one minute, add lemon juice (and watch in shock as all the red color from the mustard leaves goes into the broth, leaving pure green leaves and a purple broth!)
4. After 2 minutes of simmering, remove from heat and add black pepper. Allow to cool.
5. Serve immediately and enjoy.


So, of course, like all meals, this one may result in leftovers. If you are us, and your mustard plant should have been harvested 2 months earlier, it will be enough leftovers for an entire 2nd dinner for 2.

Only, you probably don't want it again. After it's been sitting in the fridge for 2 days. And the remaining garbonzo beans are now purple.

Never fear, the couscous savior is here (I swear, this may be my new go-to method to deal with soup leftovers):

Mustard garbonzo tomato cous-cous

-3-4 cups leftover Mustard garbonzo soup
-1 can stewed tomatoes
-1.25 (or so) C couscous
-red pepper flakes, or red pepper powder, or black pepper to taste

1. Bring soup and stewed tomatoes to a boil
2. Add couscous, stir until boiling, and turn off heat
3. Leave for 5 minutes
4. Return and fluff the couscous, allowing the steam to continue boiling off for another 5 minutes
5. Serve, garnished with pepper flakes, powder, etc. to your taste! Delicious!

Labels

According to Meyers-Briggs, I'm either an INTJ or an ENTJ, I've come back with both.

One of Penelope's posts pointed me to 43things, which hosts a different sort of personality test (43 questions you answer yes or no), where I was labeled a Money Managing Organized Extrovert.

None of those are the words I would choose to describe myself if I was limited to just four. But what do I know?

That's fair

I'm great at falling asleep on planes. Anywhere, really. I get into the time zone of the places we visit fairly easily.

But, what I do suffer from is middle-of-the-night insomnia when I am stressed. Or, apparently, when I'm fully rested and the time zone we left says it is time to wake up.

So, today, I started my return to the real world by waking up at 3:30 AM. You know, 6:30 EST, because that's when we had to get up for the last two days to travel back home.

Fun times.

On the other hand, I'd have insomnia for a week and it would still be worth it. After all, Anguilla was rimmed with empty beaches like this:



And, bonus, we got to watch the planes land (and E stood in the jetwash for some take-offs) at Princess Juliana Airport.



The picture above is actually a fairly small plane but it shows the whole scene the best. We also saw an A340, which was impressive and made R and I laugh hysterically for some reason, but we were unable to see the 747 scheduled for later in the day. I guess we'll have to go back...

Island Snippits

Yesterday, or maybe the day before or the day before that (I can't quite keep the vacation days straight, you know?) we all tentatively thought about going for a swim in the ocean and C went first. After diving beneath a turquoise wave, he turned and said, with true appreciation

Oh, wow! It's really nice.Come on in, it's not even that warm.

Yeah. C is from Miami. His comment made E & me laugh all afternoon. Not even that warm! Imagine if he tried that tactic in Northern California.

In other news, Johnny Cakes are amazing side dishes, if a bit heavy (but no problem for us to put 'em away on the side of our delicious lunch today given the pace of eating we've been keeping and the pseudo work-out I managed to fit in this lazy morning before wading into the ocean).

If you wonder what these wonderful fried balls of goodness called Johnny Cakes are, look no further:



They are offered as a substitute for french fries on the side of hamburgers, etc. If you hesitate, you are likely to find yourself with both, which is what happened to us today. We did not complain.

As for food, we haven't had a bad meal this whole trip. When/if I get the time I'll post a more comprehensive review of all of our belly-filling experiences, but suffice it to say that if you are looking for a caribbean vacation where you focus on relaxation, gorgeous views, food, beaches, relaxation, and little else (no bustle, no drama, no crowds, no shopping, no spa, very little night-life), the island of Anguilla is something to consider.

It's low season and it feels as if we have this beautiful island to ourselves -- on multiple occasions, we've been the only folks at a well-known restaurant or beach and have enjoyed all of the beauty and wonder completely on our own.

Tomorrow, we head out. We hope to snap some great photos of planes landing at Saint Princess Juliana Airport. In case we fail, you should really look up some photos. The landing/take-off over the beach and into the mountains is quite impressive. Here's to hoping we get some good action shots tomorrow.

Rejuvenating

I completely cleared my todo list by Thursday night for the first time in over a year. I could feel my blood cooling even as we went through the airport and took the red-eye across the country (not exactly a blood pressure lowering set of circumstances). Over the next few days, my work-related frustrations slowly ebbed further and further away as E and I cavorted our way from social event to social event for E's sister's wedding.

The bridesmaid's lunch was lovely and I got to know more of the family and friends. The rehearsal dinner was magnificent (complete with 41st floor views of the city and the parents of the bridal party taking part in the peron cava fun -- imagine a group of parents passing something like this filled with cava around to one another as the younger folks in the crowd sang and cheered in Spanish, Portuguese, and gobbedly-cook).



The wedding day brunch was delicious and fun. The wedding day details were as well-organized and drama-free as one can reasonably expect and the wedding ceremony was perfectly executed.

And the reception -- ahhh... the reception was a glorious thing. How wonderful it is to be a guest at a wedding where you know so many people, where you have family to visit with, and friends to catch up with. And yet, you don't have any other obligations other than to have fun. Simply eat, dance, drink, be merry, and smile.

Oh, and convince a neighbor to fed-ex us our passports.

Because now? Now (thanks to the awesome neighbor), we are on an island vacation.

Last night we negotiated the comical teensy-tiny airport, the ferry, the multiple sets of customs and immigration, and all of it just made us laugh.

After drinks and appetizers on the beach watching a sunset, an evening of harrowing left-lane driving and traffic circles, we shared a delicious meal at a local restaurant (mmmm... crusted crayfish tails in a lemon butter cream sauce served on a bed of mashed local root vegetables... delicious!).

This morning, I slept in. I did the first 3rd of the Ashtanga primary series on the balcony. I may or may not go back out and do some more, but for the moment, I'm serene. The breeze gently comes over the balcony, through the screen doors, and out the side and front door screens while the waves shush their way beneath the villa's stilts on two sides.

And me? I'm almost stupid with calm on this wicker couch -- gently picking out each letter as I alternate typing and staring out at the white sands of Shoal Beach and considering my next move.

Now that I have a little perspective I can appreciate that the same job that oh-so-recently had me stressed out makes it financially possible for us to be here. And I am happy. Relaxed and happy.

Lawyerly advice? Don't wait so long between true leave-it-all-behind vacations, if you can.

Unrelated Bits

I found myself in a meeting today that made me seriously question why I stayed at the firm. As in why I stayed *today* (for the rest of the day) instead of just giving notice and leaving.

Clearly, I'm overdue for the upcoming vacation and am more than a little burnt out.

I mean, come on. I'd at least give 2 weeks notice. No matter what. My career can't take the hit of the notice and walk. So, I'd have to stay 'til the end of the day and for another 13 days to boot. What was I thinking?

In other news:

Warner Music is picking a fight with YouTube about a video of one of Lawrence Lessig's presentations. This should get interesting.

And finally, I stumbled upon a new blog today that is likely to suck up much of my time tonight when I should be working to clear my plate for vacation (you know, instead of blogging...).

The Present

One of the more interesting side effects of my Zen Buddhism studies has been learning to focus on the present. It's a common theme in many spiritual/philosophical pursuits, and a difficult one for most of us, I think.

In particular, I sometimes struggle with the inherent conflict between setting goals, planning, and living in the present. In some sense, setting goals and planning is living in the future, letting desire for another time eat up the precious time I have right now. But, in another, more pragmatic sense, planning and goal setting is necessary in order to execute on anything complex.

This weekend, I realized a connection between the two that I had somehow missed despite slowly implementing it thanks to E, my Zen studies, and, learning to expect the unexpected through life's surprises.

The big huge revelation?

Good planning and goal setting, so long as I am not wedded to the plan, allows me to structure my life so that I have a higher likelihood of being able to be present in each moment.

E taught me this concept when we first started traveling together and we alternated days of the trip. I'd pack my days full of local activities that excited me. He'd call his days, "do nothing days" and we'd sleep in, read, and fit in (maybe) one or two activities spontaneously. I was shocked to find that I felt more relaxed and felt more on vacation on E's days then on my own. How had I never taken the time to allocate a day on vacation to do nothing?

Of course, I'm me, so despite rediscovering the beauty of the unplanned day of childhood, I've never stopped planning and goal setting. I've always expected the unexpected with money and over-allocated towards my financial goals to ensure I can execute on them. But, over the years, I have learned to apply this concept to time as well. I've stopped trying to fit so much in and I've started planning on necessary downtime to recover, relax, and to handle the unexpected in order to ensure that the things I really want to do actually have a high likelihood of getting done.

I've started accepting that in my personal life, just like in my professional life, often quantity comes at the expense of quality, so if I'm truly committed to quality, I have to do less.

This weekend, I fit in quite a bit, but not too much -- and I thoroughly enjoyed myself. I also sent my regrets to two party invitations because I realized there was no way to fit them in as well. This was difficult because I wanted to see folks at both of those parties and it meant I didn't get to spend the weekend with E -- he wanted to attend one of the parties more than he wanted to do gardening with my sister, brother, and neice.

I didn't take his preference personally. We see my family fairly regularly. Many friends of his he hadn't seen in at least a year were going to be at the party. And, well, there really isn't enough time to do everything in life.

Another realization I had this weekend, is that I can be present in the moment in the act of planning and goal setting. Which is a good thing, because I'm in the process of planning some very big changes in my life.

It was a relief to realize that I don't have to live for the future just because I am planning for it. I am trying to enjoy each step along the journey. Sometimes, the step I'm at is thinking, and calmly evaluating what makes the most sense in the search for my goals, and deciding on that plan.

This step is actually very important and a great opportunity for growth. It requires me to be honest with myself about what I *really* want in life and then to make the appropriate decisions to increase the likelihood that I will end up with what I *really* want. It is hard, sometimes, to be honest with myself and to admit that I am childish and want everything even though I know it is not possible. It is difficult to make the decisions about what I want to do and where my values lie because every choice involves a committed rejection, often of things I like and enjoy. Life is full of hard choices and being present while I make some of them is a good thing.

So, yay! I don't feel tension over the conflict anymore. Planning, goal setting, and spontaneity and flexibility are part of the yin and yang of time for me.

Today's Feminism

I attended an event today that was targeted to successful women in the area of my legal practice. Many interesting stories were told. Many of them belonged to women from generations prior to mine. You know, when they *really* had to fight -- when women were actually seen as inferior, as opposed to just "more dedicated to their families" or "lazy".

Me, I'm left with the left-over fights of "not-as-committed" which are more complicated and nowhere near as loaded as the "not capable" fights. I know my technical colleagues know I can understand the stuff (they don't doubt I'm good enough, they just wonder whether I have the dedication to deliver...), they all went to school with girls like me, studied with girls like me, and respect girls like me.

Me, if I want to pick any of the remaining fights... I'm confronted with the stupid non-meritocratic battles.

Like the fact that most of America felt okay attacking a young woman in the middle of an apparent breakdown who thought she was ready to be a professional performer because they thought she was *FAT*:



I mean *REALLY*????

Let's be honest here. Girl looks good. Healthy. Muscular. Not skinny (as in nothing but skin). Not like she's got an eating disorder. Not strung-out on drugs. Reasonably alive. Better than most of us, if we are honest with ourselves.

Sure, she could be a little more perfectly hollywood-camera-toned. But, do we really need to have this conversation? Are we going to let people jump in without submitting photos of themselves in similar attire?

Also, in full disclosure, I uploaded this image to flickr after taking it (shamelessly) from Above the Law, so if that was wrong, please let me know. I will, of course, comply with all take-down requests, etc.

Anyways, I couldn't help but leave today's event with an appreciation for the battles I feel compelled to pick on behalf of my gender versus those that one of the first female judges on the federal bench in my area had to pick.

The times, even if you aren't paying attention, they are a-changing.

It's a good thing.

Garden Update

So, the over-winter portions of the garden are going strong.



(Originally, I'd hoped I could rotate this picture. But really -- who cares? Flickr is picky but it's free.) This is what you get: Onions, in many forms, several months past seeding, some bok choy, mustard plants, red lettuce, some tomato seedlings that you can't see, and some dill and cilantro seeds that may or may not sprout.

The bulb onions promise to deliver bulbs if we are patient (I'm somewhat dubious and think that perhaps we should just harvest while they are green).

Garlic, of course, patiently grows, and reaches its 3-feet height and waits for the heat wave to cause the stalks to fall, which will mean we should harvest and start to dry it. We are excited for home-grown garlic. It is so satisfying -- 42 cloves planted, 42 heads in development, what more could you want?

And, then, of course, there is the artichoke. What the hell? We read, "3 foot diameter" and thought, "well... that'll take a bit of space." But hey, no worries, because they don't really produce the first year.

Too bad no one told our gargantuan plant...



Thank goodness, it's merely shading lettuce and green onions we are willing to sacrifice (aka eat earlier than most would) and slightly crowding the garlic (who can fend for themselves).

Also, I'm thrilled to report that every plant we've targeted for the garden has either sprouted, been transplanted, or otherwise grown into this community. So, I was *VERY* thrilled to see that the last garden-planted seeds finally delivered today:

Green Summer Squash, 9 days post seeding into the earth:



As Arvay said, Every seed is a miracle.

And our Garden is an example of close to 100 miracles. I am so excited.

Aspirations

I recently finished Eat, Love, Pray.

I haven't identified that much with a literary voice in a very long time. It was a treat to take a journey around the world and through the depths of emotion via words chosen by someone who seeks out so many of my favorite things: food, words, appreciation for the beautiful song of the Italian language, beauty, yoga, spirituality, struggles against internal demons, travel, a desire to be a better person, drawing personal boundaries to protect the self only to watch them crumble when the time is right, wonder at the universe, and a desire for balance.

I adored reading this book.

When I finished the book, I got a call from a friend who had been in a very dark place a while back. He'd stopped returning my calls in the middle of an apparent overdose. At the time, I'd told him to breathe, then I'd asked what he had taken, and where his son was. The list of drugs was long, coupled with alcohol, and his breaths came in uneasy gulps separated by sobs. But he seemed to understand the implications of his actions and had actually called me to ask for help checking into rehab. Suddenly, he needed to be done with his addictions. That day.

Thankfully, his son was at daycare, his wife was on her way back from out-of-town and his mother was on her way over. Both adults had promised to get him into a program that night, which was a good thing, because despite his promises not to ignore me, he did stop taking my calls that day. When he didn't pick up after the 4th attempt, I took a deep breath and asked the universe to protect him, knowing that there was nothing more I could do.

He called after I finished the book to let me know he'd completed his month of rehab and was in a much better place. I was so happy for him and before we finished the call, I reminded him to breathe.

Last night, I had the opportunity to instant message with a friend who is going through a divorce. She misses her ex horribly (he left her), but has gotten to the place where she doesn't want to be with him. So, it sucks. Because she misses him, but knows he is bad for her and thus, the pain is all for naught.

All I could do was tell her that she was doing great (which is true, actually, given everything she's facing, she's fine emotionally, and somehow, professionally, in the midst of all the drama she's accomplishing things she only dreamed of a few years ago). And, of course, when she told me she was crying, I told her to breathe.

I laughed at myself, because "breathe" has become my go-to advice for myself when I get worked up, and I always offer it to friends and family who are facing difficult situations. After my laughter, I recalled that the word "Aspire" comes from the latin word "Aspirare" which means to breathe upon.

And, I think that's right. All great things begin with the breath. First we breathe, then we act. Getting through the darkness requires us to breathe, one breath at a time, until it is light again. Even great big hopes and dreams, they begin with small steps, that are breathed upon, during, and through by the step-takers.

So, breathe. Fix a hope or dream in your mind. Take the time to breathe upon it, calm yourself with it, tend to it a little bit each day, and see what grows.

Steamed Artichokes on a Bed of Agretti-Fregola



Our CSA decided we should experiment with Agretti this week.

I must admit. I was not too excited. E is difficult enough when it comes to dark leafy greens. But just dark and green, no leaves? I was fairly certain he would not be happy.

Imagine my surprise when tonight's dinner turned out as well as it did.

If you find yourself with this eclectic collection of ingredients, enjoy!

-2 large artichokes, washed and stems cut off so the bottom is flat (earned by finishing the Artichoke Half Mararthon and the fact that E2 registered and paid but was too sick to participate).
-1 small bunch baby shallots (4 or so, each less than 1/2 inch in diameter at the widest point)
-3 cloves garlic
-1 lb. agretti
-8 oz. Fregola
-2 T dijon mustard
-2 T butter
-1 meyer lemon
-3 T olive oil (or so)
-4-5 strands fresh thyme, leaves removed


1. Dice the white and red portions of the shallots and the garlic cloves. Toss in a pot that has a tight cover available for later use and top with olive oil. Sautée on medium heat.

2. Add artichokes and place on the bottom of the pan, flat (stem-removed side down). Add 2 C water, bring to a simmer, cover, and cook for 10 minutes.

3. Add fregola and thyme to the water. Add water 'til fregola is covered by at least an addition 3/4 inch of water. Stir briefly and return to a simmer. Cover and cook for another 20 minutes on medium-heat.

4. Remove from heat and remove the cover. With kitchen scissors, slice agretti and shallot tops into 1 cm segments over fregola.

5. Remove artichokes from the pot, place in serving bowls, and stir the fregola with the agretti and shallot greens to allow the greens to soften.

6. As the greens steam in the pot with the fregola, microwave the lemon juice, the butter, and the mustard for 2 minutes. Stir.

7. Plate the fregola salad around the artichokes. Pour the lemon-butter-mustard sauce over the artichokes and around them on the salad.

8. Serve immediately with a plate to toss the un-eaten portions of the artichoke leaves (which can be used to scrape up fregola salad as well as sauce).

Enjoy!

The Garden Grows

Literally. Exponentially. I think we may have planted a wee bit too much for this Summer, but there's no way to know 'til it's too late:



That would be:

32 tomato plants
2 husk tomato plants
4 pepper plants (2 squash peppers, 1 jalapeno, 1 spanish pepper of medium heat)
1 japanese eggplant
1 japanese cucumber
1 american space-saver cucumber
1 bok choy plant
1 mustard plant
2 butter lettuce plants
1 green/red lettuce plant
1 red lettuce plant
42 garlic stalks
1 artichoke plant
20-30 onions/leeks (or so) from the winter planting
100 onions/leeks from the spring planting (still waiting to be thinned)
1 mint plant
3 cilantro seedlings
1 rosemary plant
1 lemon thyme plant
1 greek oregano plant
1 marjoram plant
3 parsley plants
1 italian parsley plant
AND
1 strawberry planter full of delicious strawberries (seriously, they were even better than the CSA strawberries, which were wonderful!)




Plus seeds we are hoping will sprout of:
-okra
-nasturtium
-marigolds
-borage
-cress
-English thyme
-chives
-dill
-acorn squash
-butternut squash
-summer squash
-green summer italian squash (not zucchini, smaller and lighter green, more tender)

Not to mention the basil I haven't transplanted yet...and a few unaccounted for spaces where I'm likely to plant even more seeds.

I think I may have a problem. Thank goodness that E and friends will be setting up the drip irrigation system this weekend. This is really starting to be too much to manage by hand.

Finally, before we say our complete goodbye to the winter garden, we should be thankful for the broccoli, cauliflower, sugar snap peas, arugula (!!), chard, cabbage, beets, radishes, and carrots. The last 2 categories were the last to be picked to clear the way for the Summer garden. We were impressed that the carrots dug below the top soil and deep into the clay:



Simple Carrot Dill Bisque

Tonight, we used the roots in the picture above to make a carrot dill soup.

1. Sautee the tops of leeks and any sliced radishes, with garlic and chopped baby carrots from the CSA (along with chopped pieces of our mature carrots) in olive oil;

2. Add salt, pepper, water and simmer until carrots break easily with a spoon. Add milk to taste and puree with a hand blender;

3. When you have the consistency you like, add chopped dill, stir until fragrant and serve immediately.

Wish us luck for a summer full of good harvests and creative recipes!

Big Al's Half Marathon

My legs just woke me up -- apparently, they are so tired that they won't let me sleep.

Yesterday, I ran the The Artichoke Half Marathon in beautiful Pescadero, CA.

It was one of the smallest races I've ever run, with maybe 150 participants: no porta-potties, just one stall bathroom before the start, no food snacks, only water at the aid stations, and bibs filled out by hand, in alphabetical order for the pre-registered folks.

Big Al, the organizer, herded us into a pack of shivering spandex and microfibers and yelled the directions at us. Thank goodness there were only three streets to remember because while we were trying to listen, a local resident honked and angrily revved their mini-van through the crowd. After the interruption, Big Al gave us a quick schpiel on diabetes and why we should exercise (preaching to the choir?), and then, basically, he said, "GO!" and we were off.

I haven't been running as much this year as in years past, so my goal was simple: finish in less than 2 hours. This meant I needed to keep a 9:20 mile pace.

E promised to drive out to meet me at the finish line, so I was motivated -- I didn't want to keep him waiting. I started out on the beautiful course with a 9:19 mile, and did a good job of keeping myself below 9:20 for the entire time.

Unfortunately, I crossed the finish line (to E's cheers) at 2:04:50.

How did I miss my time goal? Well, as Big Al laughingly informed E while he waited for me, the course was about a half a mile too long. There was a cone at the *true* half marathon finish, but I, like most, I suspect, completely missed it because I was focused on getting to the *finish*.

The rewards for my efforts were a finisher's medal and a giant artichoke. But, despite what one write-up said, there was no post-run brunch at Duarte's (they were closed for Easter). I suppose that's really too much to ask for -- it's a $25 race.

All-in-all, it was a great run. Foggy and cold at the start and just starting to burn off and warm up at the finish. The first 5 miles were slightly up hill for a total elevation change of 200 feet. Then a nice 1 mile downhill, 3 miles of rolling hills, and an excellent 4 mile slightly downhill finish. The entire thing was on the open roads, none of which were closed to traffic, but the cars were few and far between, and most (unlike the angry mini-van) were slow and fully of waving passengers (it is a very small town).

After the race, E and I split a margherita pizza from Pescadero Country Store, and then we stocked up on extra sour sourdough bread, half-baked bread for the freezer, garlic bread (the dangers of shopping post-long-run) and wine at Pescadero Bakery (aka Norm's Market).

On the drive home, E and I took advantage of the perfect weather to made a quick photo stop at San Gregorio State Beach.

What a perfect Sunday morning!

Blessings from the CSA

Wow -- here we are, 4 pick-ups of the CSA delivery, and I'm feeling qualified to write about how the CSA affects our life.

Typical.

Anyways, assuming you are willing to put up with my overly know-it-all ways, here are some observations:

1. The CSA, as an idea, hit critical mass in our social circle. Without discussing it with several of our friends beforehand, we have found that many of them have signed up. What is that?

2. Experimentation is the key. And a forgiving set of mouths to feed.

3. Enjoy the few successful recipes we've concocted, below.

Roasted Beet & Goat Cheese Salad

How can you argue with roasted beets and goat cheese? You can't, can you?



To make this majestic masterpiece, do the following:

-juice 1 lemon, mix with 2 T honey, 2 T olive oil, and spices of your choosing
-clean, trim and roast beets for 1.5 hours in a 400 F oven. (In hindsight, wrapping the beets in aluminum foil would have prevented stains on the dishes and decreased the cooking time). Note: once they are done being cooked, they have to be peeled. This results in stained hands, fingernails, and, if you are lame and clumsy like me, clothes.
-wash and cut romaine lettuce into bite size pieces
-cut a small onion in salad sized pieces for garnish
-cut 1/2 C of feta into small crumbly pieces
-save 1/4 C of spiced nuts
-arrange romaine, feta, onions, spiced nuts in individual bowls for serving
-remove beets from oven, cut into small pieces, allow to cool briefly, and then place on top of salads
-cover with dressing and serve.

Enjoy!

Homemade pretzels are worth the effort

I've never seen this done before, but G did it. I am salivating at the memory and grumpy that I can't have one now. That, my friends, is why you go to long-lost-friends' homes for the weekend, and stay there. Pretzels!!! (FWIW: The boiling of the dough in water with baking soda is wacky, but damn were they good.)



Bacon-Orach Risotto Rocks

Orach, a reddish/purplish green spinach relative, works quite well in risotto, but, more importantly, while it tastes delicious, unlike many other leafy vegetables that would play its taste roll in this production, it contributes a lovely red-purple dye to the risotto:



-1 yellow onion, minced
-1 lb. Orach, cleaned, stems removed
-1 C Vialone Nano rice (not required, but we had it, and it does make the texture absolutely perfect)
-chicken stock/broth
-3 strips bacon, sliced into 1 cm strips
-1 meyer lemon, sliced and juiced
-1/4 cup smoked gouda, chopped

1. Sautée bacon on medium heat for 5 minutes.
2. Add onions, stir.
3. Add rice, stir until rice is see-through.
4. Add 1 C broth, cook 'til primarily evaporated.
5. Add 1 more C broth, the Orach, cook until evaporated.
6. Add lemon juice & gouda. Cook on medium until perfect consistency. If necessary add water and continue to cook.

Enjoy (the pretty colors and the flavors) with salt and black pepper to taste!

Round-up

That was always the yuppie dream: an aristocratic life achieved meritocratically.

True dat. For more on this topic, and the current state of the economy, see Time's amazing article titled, The End of Excess: Is Crisis Good For America. Regardless of whether you agree, the thesis is thought-provoking.

For example:


[N]o other nation assimilates immigrants as successfully as the U.S. The sooner we can agree on a coherent national policy to encourage as many as possible of the world's smartest and most ambitious people to become Americans, the better our chances of forestalling national decline. The waves of exotic foreigners who arrived in the 19th and early 20th centuries were unsettling, but previous generations got over it, luckily, since those newcomers were instrumental in forging the American Century.


This is thought provoking for what it means for the locals, and for those who came earlier and may be out-competed by more recently-arrived immigrants.

May you live in interesting times.

Indeed.

Those that embrace it

Every once in a while, I get a jolt. I see that one of the bloggers I used to read is still at it. Only more-so.

There are those that embrace this medium and bare the souls, their bodies, their identities.

Me, I trust the thin, invisible film composed of a suspension of my boring life and the fact that those who know who I am do not connect this blog to my real life on the internet. Sure, even with that protection, I'm one subpoena away from anyone who didn't know finding out. But for now -- if you google my meat-space name, you don't get this blog and vice-versa.

I take comfort in that, and yet, if these writings were not anonymous, they would be so different.

Perhaps better.

Certainly, my career requires that I could not write much about work. But life... ahhh... life. Maybe I could write a bit in a way that would mean something.

Perhaps, one day. Best to dream, methinks.

Anyways...Dooce, you are an inspiration. I shall order your book to support you.

Thanks, E-Spat for the link to Dooce. Glad to see you are doing so well, and the new book is much appreciated.

The Question

E and I just received a wedding invitation to a second cousin's wedding that neither of us had any clue was going to happen.

If you didn't know that the person was dating someone, much less that they had an upcoming wedding, it's kind of a shock to receive an invitation with a couple months notice asking you to fly across the country for a weekend of family, festivities, and fun.

The question -- do we go?

The benefits (obvious): family, fun, memories, party, etc.

The drawbacks: it's close in time to several other trips to see family and friends and events we have planned and may require us to pack events so tightly that we won't enjoy each of them as much as we could if we avoided this one. Also, it's not cheap to fly across the country and stay in a hotel for a weekend. And, of course, there's the time away from work, which is never fun to manage.

Hmmmm... difficult.

Green Mashed Potatoes

So, at the urging of our local CSA, we've been experimenting with Bittman's Green Mashed Potatoes recipe.

We long for a day we could make home-made bread crumbs.

We work through the recipe each week with the excess greens the CSA gives us (because, the dirty little secret is -- they deliver what they promise, but if the weather is good, you'll probably end up with more than you bargained for...otherwise it would go to waste).

Last week -- this recipe was okay. We served it for guests, more or less according to the instructions, except with some pre-made bread-crubs, some cheddar cheese on top. It was good. But, still... it was just okay.

Tonight, we used the leftover Red Cabbage Recipe deliciousnous, 2 huge russett potatoes, a bunch of dandelion greens, green garlic, pre-made bread-crumbs, smoked gouda, grated pecorino romano, and finally, (FINALLY!) we found a concoction that won both of our hearts upon first exit from the 450F oven and kept 'em happy through the very last bite of melted and browned cheese, browned bread crumbs, toasted dandelion greens, green garlic, leftover cabbage and bacon and onions (which flavored the whole dish), the riced mashed potatoes, and yes, who could forget, the olive oil, the salt and the pepper.

All-in-all -- a wonderfully well-balanced and delicious meal.

Yumm.

Best Cabbage Recipe So Far

We've been getting quite a bit of cabbage (repollo!) from our CSA these last few weeks.

Tonight's recipe was by far the best (sauteed cabbage with bacon, onions and capers):

-1 head small red cabbage
-1 yellow onion, chopped
-Approx 5 oz. bacon, chopped
-3/4 a 12 oz. jar of capers with brine/vinegar
-white wine
-salt
-black pepper

1. Cook Bacon over medium heat in a sauce pan until light brown (almost done). Pour out 3/4 of the grease.

2. Add onions, sautee for 2 minutes. Add cabbage, capers, salt and black pepper to taste stir and continue to cook on medium-high.

3. Add 1/2 to 1 cup wine and continue stirring.

4. Serve outer leaves with some of the onions, bacon, capers immediately. Cover and allow the remainder of the inner core of the cabbage to steam in the wine with the rest of the onion, bacon, and capers.

Enjoy!

Grumpy

Being a lawyer is hard.

I could not imagine doing it if you didn't love the work.

I love the work.

But right now, I'm not in love with being a lawyer. I'm tired. I want to have one night without dreams about work. I'm frustrated with the amount of work and how it doesn't stop coming.

I think I need a vacation.

If you need a tear-jerker

And you are the like me, the un-abashed-movie-crying-type.

Then, speaking from tonight's embarrassed that I cried because it was so corny (it had JACK BLACK & CAMERON DIAZ!!!) experience, you would probably do well to watch

The Holiday.

In my defense, while it is corny, and predictable, and I cried in response to the stimuli they presented -- I will say that this movie is great in that it covers the basics:

-death (one main character is a widower)
-children, and the demands thereof
-unrequited love
-sibling love, and the shit we put up with therefor (what's the point of the legal education if you can't throw a little "therefor" around every once in a while?)
-old folks (I mean, how can you *NOT* love old folks, but this movie was clearly written by someone who didn't just love them but appreciated them and cared for them and wished that they had more in their life like I wish for in mine)
-trouble, and the response of hiding behind alcohol, briefly, and the immense *wake-yo-self-up-you-fuck-head* results (if nothing else -- always a good story)
-lonely immediate *I-must-change-my-life-this-instant-actions* to which I and many of my friends can relate (also a good story)

Enjoy!

You see what happens?

Baby Tomatoes, if cared for, will grow into adolescent tomatoes.

Saturday, a tomato-lovin' friend came over (thanks J!) and we potted up our 219 tomatoes of 34 varieties (including 2 husk tomatoes).

It's a fairly time intensive task, but I find it very relaxing.

First, you separate the plants from each other (because their roots have grown together as they've outgrown the tiny cell where they were planted):



Then, you dig a small hole in the cup of dirt, add a tiny bit of tomato plant food, drop the roots into the hole and add potting soil to fill up the rest of the cup. If possible, it's best to bury the stem with dirt up past the seed leaves, and if you want, you can even remove them if the plant has enough true leaves.

At the end of the day, we had a front yard full of plants:



Anyone need a tomato seedling or 10?

Roasted Pork Chops over Braised Cabbage

In fairness, this is just a modification of the Herbed Pork Chops over Brussel Sprouts recipe I rely upon to keep E happy.

But, this time, we had savoy cabbage, red cabbage, no brussel sprouts, a white onion (instead of red), red wine (because several recipes suggested it), sage, lemon thyme, marjoram, and more.

I actually thought this recipe was better than the pork chop brussel sprout recipe. E claims that it's sacrilege to hold that opinion. I'm waiting for the lightening strike.

Herbed Mustard-glazed Pork Chops over Braised Cabbage Mix

-1 small head savoy cabbage sliced thinly and chopped
-1 small head red cabbage sliced thinly and chopped
-1/2 bottle red wine (for cooking -- if close to vinegar (because it was a gift that a partner at your firm threw out at the move to the new offices and you kept to cook with despite the exploding cork of dryness), no problem)
-1 yellow onion, diced
-1/3 stick butter
-2 T EVOO
-4 large sprigs marjoram, leaves removed, stems in the trash/compost
-2 medium sprigs rosemary, leaves and flowers removed, stems in the trash/compost
-3 small springs lemon thyme, leaves removed, stems in the trash/compost
-1 T horseradish
-2 T mustard (including seeds)
-2 large boneless pork chops, defrosted

1. Melt butter in a large casserole over medium heat.
2. Add onion, saute´e until light brown.
3. Add chopped cabbage, stir.
4. Add wine. Cover. Cook on med-high for 5-10 minutes.
5. While cooking, blend herbs, olive oil, mustard in cuisinart.
Remove cover and place 2/3 of cabbage mixture in a baking pan.
6. Cover both sides of pork chops in cuisinart mixture. Place on top of cabbage and put into pre-heated oven.
7. At the 15 minute mark, turn pork chops. Return to oven. Allow to cook 10-15 more minutes based on how dry they look.
8. Serve to bowls -- place cabbage mixture on the bottom and place pork chops on the top. Allow to cool 5 minutes.
9. Enjoy.
10. Save remainder of cabbage mixture for future meals (soup bases, side dishes, etc.)

Making the Best of It

Every once in a while, I am reminded that whatever my personality flaws (and trust me, I've got a TON), one of my good qualities (or annoyingly pollyana qualities, depending on your perspective) is that I can't help but make the *best* of a situation that others would consider ridiculous.

Today, for example, I picked up our delivery from our local CSA (we've subscribed for a box for 9 weeks 'til the tomatoes are in full effect), and realized that our harvest was mainly leafy greens.

"No Problem," I think, pretending I don't have a husband who hates leafy greens. That is, until I show up at the house with the big bag of vegetables including parsley, escarole, red cabbage, large leaf lettuce, turnip greens, Orach, and Mei Quin Choy (not to mention the head of savoy cabbage from last week's box that we haven't used and the garden's vigorous heads of various greens).

Yeah, it wasn't a problem, but only because E is awesome.

I started with a plan of making Saag with a collection of the Orach and other leaves. But, then, halfway through, I realized we had leftover roasted vegetables from last week: parsnips, beets, carrots, and onions from the oh-so-modifiable-roasted-winter-vegetable recipe. And, why not add them?

You see where this is going?

I realized the *best* of this situation involved the combination of roasted winter vegetables combined with Saag ingredients.

So that is what I did. And that is what we ate. And it was delicious.

Pasadena's Good Eats

R, J & I had the pleasure of a celebratory meal at Bistro 45.

We showed up at 5:30 -- they weren't really ready to seat folks but treated us extremely graciously and made us comfortable until our server was ready for us.

We all had salads, each of which were delicious, 2 house salads, and my beet and goat cheese salad (mmm... I swear, I order at least one of these each week during spring... I love beets, and I love goat cheese, how can I resist?)

R loves rose´s, and since it was her big day, we ordered one of their inspired selections, The Jacaman 2006 vin gris de pinot noir -- probably my favorite rose that I've ever tasted (of course, it's sold out!).

Our entre´es were all amazing. J is a vegetarian, so he ordered the Baked Polenta with Fennel ratatouille, fondue of spinach and Sonoma goat cheese. We were blown away with the presentation (of course, J is throwing signs, perhaps to compensate for his non-blood-thirsty vegetarian ways?):



R ordered the trout, and it came so delicately prepared that I couldn't believe it was the same fish I ate growing up camping -- not a single bone to be found, so moist, so well-pared, and, most-importantly, so not-fishy.

I ordered the ahi and salmon tartar. It was excellent and had the extra-special bonus of being the right size to leave room for dessert.



For dessert, R ordered the crème brule´e en cage. Damn. First, it came with a celebratory message on the plate for R's graduation and a candle -- such adorable service on a Saturday night for under-dressed patrons without a reservation.

Plus, the cookies with which the dessert was served were so good that R later admitted she almost didn't share. It wasn't 'til the final bite of the oatmeal flour cinammon heaven cookie that she finally realized she wanted to *talk* about how good it was, and in order to do so she'd have to let us have a bite, so she grudgingly handed us each a small morsel. Amazing!

The only slightly below-average offering was the cheese plate. The blue cheese was a huge ball of salt. The cow's milk cheese was just okay, as was the sheep's milk. But the dessert was amazing and the coffee was perfect, so just skip the cheese and you'll be thrilled with the entire experience.

Overall, I was very impressed and sincerely enjoyed the meal: ambiance--great, service--friendly and excited to share the celebration for R's graduation with us, wine selection--impressive, food--delicious, pricing--great value (approximately $77/pp including generous tip for a leisurely meal of 2 amazing courses each, a shared dessert, a cheese course, an excellent bottle of wine, and 3 coffees).

The Beautiful Moment

Last weekend, I went to central California (pismo beach, arroyo grande, and san luis obispo) for a wonderful weekend with E to celebrate our anniversary and to visit my grandmother. This weekend, I visited R, in beautiful Pasadena.

Both trips, I was reminded of just how breathtakingly gorgeous California is in the spring.

As R put it, "for just a minute" each year all of the hills and mountains of California, all of the trails, all of the weeds, basically everything, sprouts a gorgeous lush green with blooming wildflowers, cultivated flowers, blossoming fruit trees, and more.

On a clear day, against a bright blue sky, with the sun beaming down upon you -- this verdant version of California is around 70F, and something out of a dream.

No doubt, in 2 to 3 weeks (if not less), the hills will begin to turn golden (or "brown" as R reminded me, while pointing to the green hills between West LA and Burbank).

This short green phase is nature's way of reminding me to savor the moment. Time moves quickly. When, like this weekend and last weekend, I find myself in a moment of true beauty (be it a solo run on a new-to-me trail in nature, shared meals or discussions with my grandmother and/or husband, or the celebration of R's graduation through shared walks, wine, and sharing plans for the future) I should (and did!) take the time to breathe deeply, to look and fix the visual image in my memory, to listen and fix the sounds in my memory, and to just be, happy and alive in the beautiful moment.

Crazy Day

I had a day that was full of drama. Sibling drama. Legal drama. Work drama. Friend drama.

I was thrilled at the opportunity to make dinner:

Spaghetti squash topped with cabbage tomato sauce

-1 spaghetti squash
-1 small cabbage from the garden, sliced thin
-1 medium yellow onion, diced
-2 T butter
-salt
-pepper
-white wine
-1 can stewed tomatoes
-4 T garlic, minced

1. Pre-heat oven to 400F. Puncture holes evenly around the squash with a steak knife.
2. Melt butter over medium heat. Place squash in oven for 45 minutes.
2. Saute´e cabbage, onion, 1/2 of the garlic in butter until fragrant. Add 1/2 cup white wine, continue to stir.
3. Add salt and pepper to taste, stir and simmer 2 minutes.
4. Add tomatoes and remaining garlic, continue to stir on medium until cabbage is tender.
5. Remove sauce from heat and cover and keep warm.
6. Remove squash from oven at 45 minutes. Slice in half & allow to cool for 5 minutes.
7. Spoon out seeds from each half and transfer the meat of the squash between the halves so that it is evenly oriented.
8. Serve half of the cabbage tomato sauce over one half of spaghetti squash and the other over the other.
9. Eat immediately and enjoy.

Winner of the Mac and Cheese Taste Test

About 6 months ago, E and I hosted a Macaroni & Cheese night in honor of D's birthday and the fact that P, a Singaporean national, had never had Mac & Cheese until his recent introduction to the The Cheesiest.

I made a traditional baked penne with sausage, sun-dried tomatoes, and fontina, the best recipe for stove-top mac and cheese I could find on the Internet (thanks Barilla!), and I topped the stovetop version with bread crumbs and parmigiano and baked it for the third entrant.

The baked stove-top version topped with bread crumbs was a huge winner.

Best Home-Made Mac and Cheese Ever

ITALIAN MACARONI AND CHEESE (ELBOWS CON FORMAGGI ITALIANI AL FORNO)

1/4 cup butter
1 cup onion, chopped (optional) [a shallot is excellent]
2 tablespoons flour
1 teaspoon salt
3 cups milk
1/2 box (8 ounces) elbows
1 cup (4 ounces) Fontina cheese, shredded
1/2 cup fresh Parmigiano cheese, grated and divided
1/2 cup bread crumbs

Preheat oven to 450F.

Melt butter in 4-quart saucepan over medium heat. Add onions/shallot; sauté 2 to 3 minutes or until tender. Stir in flour and salt. Cook 1 minute, stirring constantly.

Add milk, stirring to blend. Bring to a simmer, stirring frequently. Add Elbows; cover. Continue to simmer over low heat for 8 to 9 minutes, stirring occasionally. (Mixture will thicken as it cooks.)

Remove from heat. Add Fontina cheese and 1/4 cup Parmigiano cheese; mix gently. Pour into 1-1/2 quart casserole dish. Top with remaining Parmesan cheese and bread crumbs and place in oven.

Bake in the oven until the top is browned to your liking. Remove from the oven and let sit 10 minutes before serving.

Enjoy!

Unexplained Insomnia

Generally, when I wake at 3:30 and cannot go back to sleep, I have a good idea of what's bothering me.

Often, I even know what I can do to address it (for example, if I am stressed about work, it is best just to work if I haven't fallen back asleep by 4 AM).

This morning, however, I'm just in a general state of malaise -- I'm frustrated with a few things but if you had asked me before I went to bed if I was particularly stressed, I would have said no.

And yet, I laid in bed awake from 3:30 'til 5:15 and finally got up to try to distract myself into a state where I can fall back asleep.

Maybe I'll do a little work, but only 'cause I can't sleep -- not because I won't get it all done if I don't do it now. I don't mind the early hours when I have to put them in, but when I don't have to...man, this sucks.

I do hope my subconscious finishes processing whatever is bothering it and lets me get back to a regularly scheduled sleeping program. Wish me luck.

Planning the Tomato Madness

Today, we had several big garden milestones.

First, day 13 after potting, we finally got one sprout of Aunt Molly's Husk, the last of the 35 varieties to sprout. Somehow, we managed to germinate at least one seedling of every variety we tried to grow (keeping the seedlings alive, of course, is another matter, but still).

Technically, Aunt Molly's Husk is a husk tomato or ground cherry (like a tomatillo, which we are also growing), so it's not a true tomato, but once we were growing 33 varieties of tomatoes, given that the cheery tomato seeds I ordered over the internet came with tomatillo seeds and Aunt Molly's Husk seeds, well... who are we to resist? Salsa verde, here we come!

Second, the tomato seedlings were allowed outside for their first exposure to the real world today. It was only 2 hours, but they seemed to like it and rewarded us with 8 new sprouts between last night and tonight.



Third, at tonight's 13-day post seed-potting count, we are at 199/257 seedlings sprouted, for a germination rate of 77.43%.

Fourth, and finally, we got the busted concrete debris removed, cleaned up a bit of the winter garden, purchased some redwood bark for the walkways between the garden, and started the final transition to this year's garden madness, aka The First Summer of Tomato Madness.



And yes, in case you were wondering, that is a very dead Christmas wreath hanging to the right of our front door. Perhaps we'll take it down tomorrow...

Equal Pay

I've read several articles on how the oft-cited women make 77 cents for every dollar a man makes statement is extremely misleading.

Last night, in an attempt to clarify why, I found the Bureau of Labor Statistics Highlights of Women's Earnings 2007. If this sort of thing interests you, the report is fascinating -- so much data.

The numbers definitely help support the idea that the pay gap is at least partially explained by lifestyle and career choices, and is not necessarily entirely gender-based pay discrimination. One thing the data cannot address, however, is time off. Women who take time out of the workforce to have children re-enter this data solely based on their age, and, from this data, there is no way to know just how many years of experience they have at that age.

What the numbers can tell us, however, is that unmarried women without children earn almost as much, on average, as unmarried men without children (96%) (table 8), and the median hourly wage for women with more than a bachelors degree is 95% of the median hourly wage for men with more than a bachelors degree (table 9).

The hours worked is a big factor -- for full-time positions requiring between 35-39 hours per week of work, women make 103.3% of the average male weekly wage (Table 5). For positions requiring over 40 or more hours per week, however, women's average weekly wage compared to men working similar hours hovers around 88%. (Table 5)

Interesting as well is part-time work, which no one ever talks about in terms of pay discrimination, despite the fact that women earn 108.3% of the average male weekly wage for part-time work (Table 5).

I suspect that if you accounted for the type of jobs selected, experience, and education, these disparities would start to make some sense. Of the full-time workers women hold 69% of the jobs requiring between 35-39 hours per week, 46% of the jobs requiring 40 hours per week, 30% of the jobs that require more than 40 hours of work per week, and only 22% of jobs that require more than 60 hours of work per week (Table 5). It seems appropriate to me, then, that when the numbers are averaged solely against age, women are earning less than men -- at least part of the pay gap can be (and should be, in my opinion) attributed to the fact that, as a group, women are working less hours.

The largest disparity in pay for full-time workers between genders occurs in two groups:

1. Between men and women with school age children, whether married or single. There's no getting around it, these women make *much* less than their male counterparts (table 8). In our society, more women play the caretaker roll than men -- that is another fascinating conversation, but I don't believe it belongs in the mathematical discussion of whether women are actually paid less for the same work (with the same level of experience) done by their male counterparts. Instead, I think we need to look at the reality that much of the pay disparity occurs when women are most likely to be making decisions to focus on children instead of career.

2. Married women working full-time make significantly less than married men working full-time. I've blogged about this topic in the past. Certainly, it doesn't explain all of the pay gaps in this group, but I do believe it is important to consider the reality that many married women opt not to be the primary bread-winner so that they will have the flexibility to be the primary supportive spouse, home-labor-specialist, and/or caregiver to children. Yes, we are moving to a model where some men are opting to do this as well, but I do not believe the decision to be a supportive spouse with a flexible career is evenly distributed across gender lines today.

Basically, I am troubled by reference to data and facts on gender that makes the situation appear to be much worse than it likely is. It is hard to have an intelligent conversation on a sensitive issue if the position you start from is slanted. I am not saying that pay discrimination on gender lines does not exist -- I am certain it does. But what I am saying is that it is much less pervasive than a quick look at the average earnings for all full-time workers would indicate, and it's not fair to ourselves as a society to ignore that reality.

Okay, now I can actually go get some work done.

Update: I started down the rat-hole above because I recalled but could not find the Study that found that young educated women in metropolitan areas actually earn more than men in their same demographic. But, I finally found it, so you can click the link too, if you like.

Tomato Seedling Update

Day 8 after potting I am proud to report that we have 60.46% germination!



That's 153/256 tomato seeds (the total is an estimate -- you shoot to put 3 seeds in each cell, but if you accidentally drop one, you only find out when your yield is > 100%).

I am excited to see what the final germination rate is -- in the last 24 hours we got 28 new sprouts, and I can only hope for a similar increase tomorrow between day 8 and day 9.

Our Babies

Well, as I said, E and I are committed to the garden this year.

And, I'm a tomato-lovin' fool.

So, I'm trying to grow several varieties of tomatoes from seeds.

Basically, I've got a *grow room* in our garage:



And, it's so cool.

When they first sprout, they look like this:



And, then, less than 24 hours later, after exposure to the one cool flourescent and one warm flourescent bulb, they look like this:



In the interests of safety in numbers, I planted roughly 250 seeds of somewhere in the neighborhood of 35 breeds of tomatoes and tomatillos. Even with the new construction, this summer, we have space for maybe 20 plants of this type if we want to have a summer garden with vegetables of any other type. It should be interesting to see how this plays out...