FANZINE FANABLA (WITHOUT THE EXCLAMATION POINT AT THE END)

Well, here are a few more fanzines that have slipped inside my house as they passed by, and although none of 'em 're what I would say top on my want list at least they're adding to that pile of mags as well as pertinent pieces copped off the internet that's building up in the corner of my otherwise farted up bedroom. Sheesh, ya woulda thought that quite a few editors of such old and long ignored publications like SPOONFUL and TB SHEETS would be bustin' down the door with mags galore hopin' for some better late than never notoriety, but sadly that is certainly not what's goin' on 'round these parts! (At least Dan Feiner/Jesse Farlow was on the ball enough to get in touch 'n good for us all!) 

Methinks that these former publishers are either ashamed of their long-ignored efforts or, heaven forbid, are long dead 'n buried and their descendents (no sic) could care less. Most probably they've been deterred by all of the bad rants that certain individuals have directed at me and my efforts, since that was always one HUMONGOUS stumbling block as far as BLACK TO COMM gettin' any sorta positive notoriety or even decent distribution and ad revenue. And you wonder why I loathe certain people out there!

***

Prized possession of the post's gotta be this early piece of prime APA (or more specifically, Frank's APA) pounce entitled ROCK, YOU SINNERS which eventually grew into a real-life fanzine called (as if you didn't know) WHO PUT THE BOMP! Frank's APA was Jonh Ingham's idea and from what I read via some old Lester Bangs review in CREEM t'was the proverbial doozy what with Lenny Kaye's contribution being a book of matches tied to a paper inscribed "Light My Fire" and Meltzer's an old textbook with some new and with-it San Francisco and the Jefferson Airplane rock-related title printed specifically on it by the man himself. I'd go check out that article to get the specific details of that mailing, but who in heck knows where that ish rests withing a good fortysome years of rock mags 'n related jetsam piled up all over the place?

The usual suspects can be found here what with the mandatory Jay Kinney cartoons and letters from the likes of Meltzer, Ingham and Metal Mike Saunders puttin' their two pennies in...and not much else because I thought that the entire proceedings coulda used more of a beef up in order to capture my short attention span! Probably not enough mentions of the Stooges (at least as far as boffo early-Seventies fanzines go) to keep this 'un afloat! Still this is the pick of the litter if only because it is a Greg Shaw offering with contributions from some of the better names in this sordid thing that we call rock fandom.

Maybe if I took this in along with the rest of the APA I would have absorbed that heavenly fanzine wonderment that still keeps me glued to my old DENIM DELINQUENTs and NIX ON PIX even after eyeballin' 'em a good few thousand times apiece --- I'm such a picky reader, y'know.

***

I've obtained a few fanzines from the British Front that just might appease my cravings for that long gone form of offensive rockscreeding that seems to be so out-of-fashion in these bizarro world puritan times. In all honesty I doubt it, since it seems that even then (y'know the good ol' days of  rock 'n roll fandom) there was a lack of the truly "gonz" style to be found even in those fanzines that I woulda sworn were written by guys who used to comb through every issue of NME or SOUNDS extant! Sheesh, it's sure dismal living in a world where you know that what passes for rock "criticism" these days is way more influenced by the likes of Parke Puterbaugh than it is of Meltzer.

I finally found my copy of that MESSTHETICS CD which featured a spacious sampling of what was going on in the world of the English cassette culture made up of local (yet potent enough) acts who performed in school basements and traded their tapes with groups in a similar sort of nowheresville straits. DAMN LATIN was a mag that I thought woulda documented this era of a DIY that deserved to have been remembered, but it really skirts that whole scene and just blebs on like any half-hearted fanzine one could come up with, my own efforts included  

Eh, it ain't that bad but for a publication that said it was devoted to the  up 'n comin' cassette scene it coulda done better. Maybe I am crabbin' too much since acts such as the Sea of Wires and the Sinatras are worthy of further examination. Maybe the other issues of DAMN LATIN deal more closely with this short phenomenon, but until I find any I guess I'll just have to keep searchin' for that particular MESSTHETICS that was been playin' hide 'n seek with me for quite awhile.

***

I also bought this issue of ZIGZAG (the fanzine that made good and still kinda/sorta remained one throughout its existence) because of the article on a certain group of mid-late sixties renown whose name I dare not even think of let alone mention lest images of fortysome years of precocious youth in funny hairdos and plastic jewelry come gushing into my mind. (Note: this was pecked out before the naming of that certain group in question was somewhat begrudgingly lifted!) If you're the kind of person who thinks that the cult of seventies under-the-radar music from the Stooges and Roxy Music to Patti Smith and Suicide (etc. and so forth) gave way to some mighty pallid carbon copies once the eighties rolled in I think you will sympathize with me.

No, I am not going to make
the obvious joke --- no way
Charlie!!!!

So I won't mention the article on this particular band and'll just concentrate on the rest. Or most of it at least but eh, it is no wonder why a good portion of the seventies English fanzines took their cue from Pete Frame and company. Even with the shaggy dog West Coast musicians these guys thought the tits there's the proper air of true fandom to be found here, with pieces written by guys who grew up with the Big Beat in their hides and never did totally eschew it all for cocaine karma and alla that BLESS THE BEASTS AND PAMPERED UPPER-MIDDLE CLASS BRATS hippie moralizing that proved that when "rock music" came of age it took on a whole passel of phony moralizing with it. I used to think that is was strange that the same people who grew up with Gene Vincent on the stereo and who cut their teeth on the Rolling Stones before diving straight into the swamp of hippie narcissism could ever even remotely retain some sort of punk consciousness, but these people have and that's probably why these old ZIGZAGs still have the original power and might lo these many years later while some of those very late issues have that pseudo artzy taint to them which date 'em even worse'n a collection of Cheech 'n Chong drug jokes.

***

'n speaking of ZIGZAG here's their li'l cyster publication FAT ANGEL, more in the old-style fanzine mode, and in many ways closer in layout to those old English rockabilly fanzines which were mostly illustration-less with pages full of text usually written in the driest ways one could imagine. Still, this early FAT ANGEL does have its value even though it seems to follow the usual early-seventies English fanzine tradition of concentrating perhaps a little too much on the late-sixties/seventies Amerigan West Coast leather goods and Buffalo Bill lookalike downhome nausea that still happens to repel this writer. A KSAN-FM interview with Jerry Garcia printed in full should give you at least a scant idea of what was in store with this and many other early-seventies English rock fanzines.

Yet editor Andy Childs does have some good taste left in him given his rah-rahing for the likes of the Flamin' Groovies and that Arnold Corns record that I'm sure Brad Kohler will now want to pay me hundreds of dollars for, not to mention the viola player for that band I shudder even mentioning anymore due to the aforementioned plastic jewelry and faint moustache above the lip gang.  But I did learn something from that piece, and that is a fellow bandmate once said that this person will be remembered as "the Beethoven of the next century" which is THIS century so like, where are the statues of him anyway? Eh, they'd probably find something "wrong" with the aforementioned viola player and when they did they'd topple the thing and melt it into a George Floyd memorial. I mean, what else?

***

The Mod Revival of the early-eighties had about as much of an effect on me as conversion therapy would have on Britney Griner and thus I had tried to steer clear of any of them fanzines that were devoted to the cause, but DECEMBER CHILD seemed different. Maybe it was because of the promise of something other'n the usual sunglasses and snatty suit pose that drove me to this. Who knows, but I copped this 1980 debut issue and well, thought the thing was a pretty halfway-there fanzine effort which, while not tingling any nerve nodes of mine, still had a worth to it what with an article not only on the Creation but Pop Art and Syd Barrett included in this debut.

Writing ain't anything that captures you like the best of the gonz efforts did, and the inclusion of poetry is about as appealing to me as the crop of scabs I used to acquire during my single digit days. The Creation article was mostly the same ads you've seen reprinted for years with a fraction of text while the Barrett piece just seems like yet another in a long line of praise on a guy that has been written about ad infinitum and after Nick Kent's mega-opus why bother. The Pop Art (as related to English rock) 'un did have some spirit even if it does read like a term paper. One that got a good enough grade but still...

Eh I'm getting picky because, in my own downhome golly ned way, I gotta say I like DECEMBER CHILD perhaps becaue it does succeed in its own low fidelity bedroom publication way. Might be worth your while to latch onto one if it does wiggle a bit under your nose.

***

I've reviewed a whole slew of OUTLETs before and this ninth issue is a nice enough addition to the pile. Maybe it ain't as deep dirt fact digging as the others and the tendency to be more discography-oriented than a real fun genzine detracts some, but it still stands well with pieces on Joe Meek and early Todd Rundgren before he made too much of a fool of himself. Each of these OUTLETs is worth the time and effort to find, and if you snoop around long enough you just might get your chance to experience this rather nifty if oft ignored fanzine that shoulda made a bigger impression than it did.

***

Now for a switch of hemispheres and a trip to a place in which at least one of the most hideous, unappreciative (of all I've done for him which I know he has forgotten about) and evil people I've ever come across beings on earth resides...namely Australia. Now despite the presence of this specimen (who last time I looked tipped way over into the realm of socially conscious hackdom) the continent has been known for producing some pretty sharp bands at least since the specter of the Detroit late-sixties underground began nudging its way into the local scene, so it would figure that a mag like DAS REICH would have shivved its way into the fray. After all, its's a fanzine with an eye out for the groups that helped make Australia something akin to Michigan South back when the likes of Radio Birdman and all of the groups in their wake were giving some of us northern hemisphere types a li'l bit of hope.

Dunno if you could call DAS REICH a "crudzine" even if it does fit some of the criteria...cheap production, no illustrations, and really no new info to be dispensed, but I still like it. Perhaps that's only due to the subject matter at hand which I would probably read about in earnest no matter who's writing about it, and better some unknown fanablas like the guys who put this out over any of those bigtime rock critics of the eighties who seemed to go from writing about rock 'n roll to mewling about everything from such haute causes as the glories of urban youth who can do no wrong running wild in your local Walmart. I'm a sucker for things like the MC5 anyway, so I'd give these guys an A+ if I were Dean Christgau, but thankfully I'm not so I'll just tell 'em to stay after school for one hour, and no chewing gum!

***

Back to Merrie Olde. The Ultravox thingie pictured on the left appears to have been a special edition of the English IN THE CITY fanzine, and for a one-off it sure did itself whatcha'd call swell. Now I gotta admit that I am not exactly total bonkeroo over Ultravox but I really do like their earlier material and this mag sure sates any curiosity I do have about the group and their humble origins. This ish really packs the info to the point where any curiosity you might have had about the act would be instantly sated, with bits about their early Tiger Lily days well into John Foxx talking about his new solo career which (at least for me) really puts a cap on the entire Ultravox saga. If there are any Ultravox aficionados out there well, I'll betcha already have this by now!

***

The French have been known for their etapoint rock fanzines which fortunately mirror their exquisite taste for an underground credo which never did coalesce in these here United States. ROCK INFO! was but one of these, a nice li'l home-produced effort which I'll bet was just brimmin' fulla that Gallic rock greatness I sure wish I grew up amongst back when it was all going down. I say "bet" because well, besides the shrunken type (akin to that found in many an issue of my crudzine) the text is all in French and I'm having enough trouble mastering English as it is! 

But despite the expected barriers I gotta say that ROCK INFO!, which from what I can decipher sounds like a rock history with an underground French bent to it, sure looks swell what with such mentions of various French faves like the VU, Dolls, Patti and TV interspliced with a few unexpected entries such as the Dead, 'plane and Mayall, sometimes on the same page if you can imagine! No illustrations other'n  drawings of guitars and records in the margins, but it sure comes off a whole lot swanker'n some of those anarcho-drivel efforts (mostly done by communists pretending to be anarchists because they're ashamed 'r somethin') that've come out in droves a good four decades back!

***

For a switch here's an Amerigan fanzine up for inspection, and although it's a bit outside the realm of the Golden Age of Rock Fanzines (1971-1981), the 1997 publication from the El Lay area does capture some of the fun 'n jamz that could be found in other locally produced efforts that came outta that burgh a good two decades earlier. Now that's an accomplishment especially when you consider just how terrible the entire area had become since those days of yore when decadence sorta oozed its way into bald-faced disgust thus losing any of the allure it mighta had back during the days of DENIM DELINQUENT and BACK DOOR MAN.

FRUITBASKET UPSET can get pretty West Coast industry when it wants to, but fortunately that doesn't get inna way of its overall excitement. Lotsa commercially viable (read: music way outside the scope of this very blog) coverage to be found here true, and any mag that would contain a Debbie Gibson interview is probably headed for the paper shredder pronto! But this rag supersedes any kind of wariness one might get what with the mega-article on the best live albums of all time (with some surprises and of course the usual glaring omissions) and all of the special features such as "The Ron Wood of the Month" and the live reviews covering everything from Iggy Pop to Black Sabbath tribute band Sabracadabra with loads of surprises in between. 

I wouldn't call  FRUITBASKET UPSET a top notch event in the annals of rock fandom, but considering a whole lotta the self-conscious and self-fixated efforts that have come out these past fortysome years (need I say more?) it sure reads a whole lot smoother and more honest at that than a good portion of those home-produced items that are supposed to cater to my own (and who knows, maybe your) personal musical tastes!

***

And now for the non-music section of this post, starting out with the third issue of the famous (at least in comic fandom circles) effort entitled FANTASY ILLUSTRATED. Yeah the re-use/imaging of the old EC cover scheme became hackneyed in comic book fandom after awhile (not counting its usage of album covers and underground comix throughout the seventies) but since this ish came out in 1964 I'll do the slack cuttin' if only this time.

At least editor Bill Spicer was so keen on EC's high standards that he wanted to continue the tradition, and few can deny that everything from the artwork to even the paper used showed what kind of loving and warm 'n toasties devotion went into this effort. The overall results are finer'n fine what with not only an authorized Tarzan story based on an Edgar Rice Burroughs original but a whole lotta tender lovin' somethingorother and craftiness to be had all around. Sure the art is clearly in the amateur ranks (don't think any of 'em were ready for the Marvel Bullpen at this point in time) but that doesn't matter one iota given how something along the lines of FANTASY ILLUSTRATED surpassed many of those comic book crudzine efforts tossed out by fourteen-year-olds who thought their "Captain Caca" character was gonna overtake the world of fandom faster than the Flash could have a premature ejaculation! 

***

A few of you people out there know just how much of an admiration I had (and still do even!!) for Lenny Kaye even to the point where I sure wanted to look like him (long hair 'n all) when I was a teenbo admiring his cool posture, guitar playing for Patti Smith, putting NUGGETS together 'n alla that. That's why I am plum proud to have this debut issue of OBELISK in my collection. Yes, the first ish of Kaye's very own SciFi mag done during the man's very own teenage years back when he was living in New Jersey contributing to various amateur pubs himself while amassing what I would take to be a big huge hulking bunch of 'em in himself.

It's whatcha'd call your typical SciFi 'zine with the same standard layout and all of those illustrations that look like the kind you get in just about every other mimeo of the same strata. Nothing in here really appeals to me given that the incestuousness of this is pretty much on the same par as that of the rockzine realm of the eighties and nineties where everyone knew each other and outsiders GO HOME!, but hey it is a Lenny Kaye production and his DNA's probably all over this as well! Sure would like to see his early rock 'n roll fanzine efforts which I'm sure even predate MOJO NAVIGATOR and CRAWDADDY! which would make readin' 'em all the more GNARLY.

***

And finally a fanzine that I'm sure some of you readers would be surprised even exited, one dedicated to the early days of cinema titled what else but THE SILENT PICTURE! For a guy like me who has taken a huge interest in old tyme mooms ever since the days when those silent comedy compilations would pop up on the cathode connection entertaining people whom I'm sure saw these flickers when they first came out, THE SILENT PICTURE's a publication that I can settle down to read and totally devour within one of those extended and uninterrupted evenings when there's nobody around to bother me and I can play the ol' bedside boom box as loud as I please because well, maybe the neighbors DO have an appreciation for LaMonte Young after all!

The D.W. Griffith tribute was a nice bit of writing even if I already knew just about everything that was mentioned here, and the interview with Griffith regular Mae Marsh was particularly enjoyable given that she (no doubt about it) was one of the more expressive actresses to have popped up on the early pre-twenties screen.  Sheesh, the chemistry and electricity she and Griffith fave Robert Harron emitted on celluloid was pretty much unparalleled as far as filmic magic went, and I'd rank the two as perhaps the greatest romantic couple of cinema ever or at least until the advent of Shemp Howard and Christine McIntyre a good thirty or so years later. But still the way those two lit up the screen with their expressive acting (I still love their rather touching segment in Griffith's 1914 classic HOME SWEET HOME) is definitely one of the highlights of the pre-flapper film era.

One interesting turdbit that shows up here deals with the great mystery of whatever happened to a whole load of them old films that for one reason or another seem to have been lost to time. For an answer that just might get on the nerves of some of your more serious old movie fans, here's the caption to a picture of a man smashing up something out of range with piles of film cannisters behind him: "What becomes of old or damaged films at the Douglas Fairbanks studio. The reels are chopped into small pieces to prevent use of the material for exhibition purposes by unauthorized persons. The shredded film is then sent to a refinery to get silver salvaged out of the emulsion. This lot probably netted $75 to pure silver." I do feel that I might be somewhat of value if only my molar filling contains a fragment of some lost gem that will never be viewed by the eyeballs of this realm ever again. But as far as serious fans of classic cinema go, boy could I just see the rivers of tears flowing away at the mere thought of such legendary films lost for all eternity, and for the sake of a few pithy bucks at that!

BOOK REVIEW! LAUGH IT UP --- FUN WITH CARTOONS BY MARVIN TOWNSEND (Xerox Education Publishing, 1974)

Yup, here's the third and I believe last of the Marvin Townsend paperbacks that the smarter turdburgers in school spent their begged pennies on. Like with LAUGH OUT and GHOSTLY GHASTLY CARTOONS, you know what's in store which is mainly a whole lot more of them great badgag panels done up by a guy who I believe only had one other admirer not counting his mother and that's me for doggone sure!

Being the kinda guy who still has a soft spot in his even softer brain for POOCHIE, another dose of Townsend sure takes my mind off the fact that I'm existing in a world where comics like these are outright scorned while people of my generation fondly wax reminiscence upon the works of Lynda Barry. Some mighty good snickers are in store for ya here with even a few that I think were good enough to appear in a few bigname mags. Who knows, but I get the idea that maybe one or two of 'em would have snugly fit into any seventies-vintage NEW YORKER perhaps getting the same amt. of chortles that one could outta Sam Gross! Well, they coulda gone down swell with the upnosed sophisticated ones that even read the wretchy Ellen Willis columns that usedta appear in it.

This book's also noted for a few hippie gags which, given this 'un came out '74 way, were a wee bit outta the timeframe and thus were what the "cool" types woulda called "not relevant". Well, I don't think that Townsend was about to do any glam decadence-oriented generation gap cartoons, though his handling of some Karen Quinlan situations woulda brought up a few chuckles 'round here. 

A nice collection that might make you forget that things like ZITS and BABY BLUES exist. But I doubt it.

 BOOK REVIEW! THE SPHINX AND ALLEY OOP BY V. T. HAMLIN (Kitchen Sink Press, 1991)

My recent review of THE FUNNIES not only rekindled (hah! --- as if it ever went away!) the strong passion I held for the funny papers during my single-digit days but had me scurrying to ebay to get hold of some ALLEY OOP collections. The OOPs that were reprinted in that particular BORM conjured an interest in that strip which I must admit is somewhat strange considering I never really gave it the time of day. Just didn't appeal to me other'n for its even then antiquated style which harkened back to hem days when finely detailed comic art, which even at the cusp of the 60/70s was in rather short supply, seemed to rule the roost to be cornball about it. 

Perhaps the concept of a time-travelling caveman didn't quite make sense even in a comics world where one already had to suspend a whole load of logic and reality and just get down to the matter of enjoying them. Maybe the attempts to be relevant to the current events of the day were just too stilted and half-baked for the senses of any midclass suburban slob what with the references to flower children and hippies --- as satire or commentary such strips just didn't work so swell, coming off exactly the way the older generation perceived the youth of the day while failing miserably in the process. At least Al Capp was able to spoof the youth to the point where he rightfully enraged a whole slew of people who DESERVED IT!

Well, OOP was runnin' at a time when I had nada appreciation of continuing storylines other'n the ABNER and DICK TRACY sagas that really were capturing an imagination that didn't have much to capture. I'm sure that if I were some depression-era kid (I was receiving depression-era wages that's for sure!) the lack of other stimulation woulda have me following the strip with a raving eagerness, but as it stood ALLEY OOP just didn't spark anything inside my comics-saturated soul. It was something for the old folks the same way that Jimi Hendrix and the Jefferson Airplane were for the big kids 'n not little turdburgers like myself.

Now that I AM an old folk maybe it's time that I tried again and so I did. Sure woulda loved to've read this strip starting at the very beginning but with the variety of reprints available both fan-oriented and legit, and with the somewhat exorbitant prices they've got tagged on 'em it is rather hard to know exactly where to start.

This Kitchen Sink book does help out somewhat. Starting in '47 we're treated to three Oop arcs. The first one deals with his cranial impressions of ROBINSON CRUSOE projected onto Professor Wonmug's "View Screen" and man do they turn out quite differently than the actual novel what with Crusoe being a sexy blonde, much to the dismay of Oop's galpal Ooola who has enough goin' for her as well. Then Oop's flung back to the Kingdom of Moo where he's in deep trouble for beating up a cute femme who, as they all do, was just lying about the whole kaboodle (some things never change). Afterwards Our Hero and the somewhat shady Oscar Boom travel via the fourth dimension to ancient Arabia to check out the legend of the golden fleece getting into some mystical experiences which eventually get the two into some rather strange circumstances when their thoughts actually become fleshed out so-to-speak. Sure glad that didn't happen to me when I was a mid-teenbo or I'd still be in detention!

They are somewhat appealing what with that great hatchworked and detailed art that looks as if each panel took a good half-hour to delineate. The actual adventures ain't anything to complain about neither...sure they could have been somewhat more intense but I'm not exactly complaining mind ya. Well, these sagas sure kept my attention going about as strong as it would have had this book come around back when I was eleven, and even without me being too familiar with the previous storyline ins and outs it was easy enough for me to somewhat fit into the tongue and groove without having to resort to reading the first fourteen years of the thing!

Oh yeah, as far as the cover story goes  --- well, we all have read various SciFi sagas about time travelers who change the past making for a way different place to be found when they return to the present? Well, this particular time-traveling caveman is one fellow who actually MAKES the history when he zooms to the Middle East a good ten thou years back and helps create the Egyptian Dynasty by leading some wandering tribe in the Sahara to the Fertile Crescent. The people are so grateful that Oop's face pops up on the (now get this!) Sphinx! The possibilities of Oop changing the course of history are endless, such as if he just happened to be at the Texas School Book Depository on November 22 of 1963 or maybe with him posing as a clutzy doctor who attempted to deliver a number of future political figures who just "happen" to be stillborn, or accidentally dropped on the floor, or fed to the dogs for that matter. 

Like another once-legendary NEA Services strip CAPTAIN EASY, there is a balance between adventure and humor that yin/yangs a whole lot more'n casual perusers could possibly fathom. Overall, these strips make for good lazy afternoon reading that brings back those comic strip memories of an obsession that practically ruled my life. But hey, better it be comics than all of those stoopid things the other guys were involved in like sports, race baiting, self-abuse...

STOP THE PRESSES! After pecking out the typically abysmal gunk this blog is renowned for directly above I discovered that (wonder of wonders!) there's actually a new series of ALLEY OOP daily reprints that have begun to creep into the comics anthology world! I dunno how long this endeavor will last (I get the sneakin' suspicion that it's gonna eventually peter out the way all of those LI'L ABNER attempts have) but it at least is a smart start and any OOP fans there are left out there in funny pages land better rejoice with their hearts, or any other bodily organs that might be at hand.

Even if the series eventually flops, at least it's a start and as far as comic strip history goes these are indispensable (even the original run drawn for the soon-to-be-even-more-extinct-than-the-Fellmandon Bonnet-Brown syndicate pop up!). These pre-time travel stone age sagas that appear (most of which seem to center around a love/hate relationship between Oop and King Guzzle similar to the Popeye and Bluto situation) keep you tuned in more'n any episode of RING-A-DING-DING SCHOOL ever did that's for sure! It's no wonder why this 'un became a big hit with the depression-wages era kids (who at least had an excuse for the pittance they earned!) and if you're really that interested after all of this schpiel why dont'cha write to alleyoop@aruffo.com and see what wonders await.

I still hold humanity and most of its values and beliefs in utter contempt but yeah, I do feel somewhat better now than I did last week at the same time. Gotta stop having little things like seeing the name of someone trigger me into waves of utter revulsion (I should be embarrassed by this infantile train of thought but I don't care anymore) and although I DO NOT take back anything I said last go 'round and don't feel any remorse for coming off like such a self-centered pantywaist I must say that even a good hour or two after pecking out that rant on I felt quite shallIsay "chipper" and kinda wonder why I was making such a fuss over it all in the first place. Things like my failure in life (at least as far as smiting the people I loathe go) usually doesn't affect me much and then, one second LATER...

But hey, I'll try to keep all of my pent up inner angst over not being as handsome or as famous as Jay Hinman deep down in the guts, at least until next time. And until that fateful day arrives I'm going to do my best to be the closest anyone on this planet can get to being Casper the Friendly Ghost and act about as happy and as pleasant as a 13-year-old boy locked in a porn shop overnight. Maybe not as pulse pounding, but still you have nothing to worry about with regard to me lashing out at the same ol' demons that have been pestering me since at least the dawn of first grade.

***

OK --- howzbout some more of that AI generated nonsense that I've been monkeying around with! And boy did I come up with some doozies!!! The first illustration on today's itinerary is supposed to be John Cage and it does look somewhat like him, but what is he doing? Either playing a musical instrument of his own creation (perhaps a "prepared switchboard") or engaging in a little foosball.

Here's another badass rocker who's so cool that he even has a guitar neck protruding from his left arm! And hey, would you want to take a ride in any of those automobiles seen in the distance? Not me, bub!

The following two pictures are supposed to be Norman Rockwell's impressions of a race riot although (contrary to the text I typed in) there are no white people being butchered, children hung from lampposts, looting or, for that matter, policemen just standing around doing nothing. Given the "rioters'" body contortions, you could look upon these as being Rockwell paintings filtered through Robert Longo. I'm sure a few of you readers could come up with some really interesting takes on these two!

And now for something a little easier on the eyes. This AI-induced lass is (really!) supposed to be none other than Yoko Ono during the recording of (I believe) her PLASTIC ONO BAND album, or was it TWO VIRGINS judging from the abundance of anatomy on display?! All I gotta say is this in fact is Yoko then maybe I should "give PIECE a chance"!

Okay, eyeballs back into sockets. The following picture is what I got when I typed in "Nazis beating up first graders with soggy broccoli"...

This is supposed to be Eddie Haskell doing malicious bodily harm to Beaver while his friends watch approvingly. I think I better be more descriptive while typing these AI requests out, though given the word "beaver" I'm glad something we'd all call scurrilous didn't appear.

And this is supposed to be Jerry Lewis walloping his son Gary because Gary didn't refer to his father as "Your Majesty"! Nice belt Gary, and while I'm at it nice tie dad!

I decided to create a few comic strip-oriented images. First off I asked for AI to conjure up a pic of Charlie Brown beating up Lucy and Peppermint Patty while Linus and Snoopy look on in shock. Kinda makes me wonder what an AI-created PEANUTS comic strip would look like.

And this "ARCHIEE" image is (naturally) nothing at all what I asked for! And I assume that is Jughead in the necktie --- didn't know he was such a masculine figure! I sure like the way the characters are walking and kneeling on water, and what is that roast chicken (I think) doing floating in the lower left portion of the panel? And if you can tell me what that scribbly thing is on the redhead's thigh (never mind describing her footwear or the strange legwork on the blonde in the polka dot swimsuit) you too can win a no prize!

This is supposed to be Nancy and "Siluung" robbing a candy store. I guess Siluung (who actually stuffed some lollipops in his cap) wants Nancy's take of the heist.

OBVIOUSLY AI never heard of BEETLE BAILEY because I requested a picture of Beetle, Killer, Zero and Sgt. Snorkel bayoneting babies in the jungles of Vietnam.

And this is a party with R. Crumb characters Mr. Natural, Angelfood McSpade and the Snoids with S. Clay Wilson's Checkered Demon as well as Nard 'n Pat. Well, at least they got SOMEWHAT of a Crumbian aura in this result.

OK, I'll refrain from any more of these for now, which is too bad for you because I conjured up some goodies like the cast of GILLIGAN'S ISLAND gone mad with hunger butchering each other up with machetes and George Washington and Abraham Lincoln playing strip poker with Betsy Ross and Louisa Mae Alcott with George and Abraham winning. Of course nothing came out looking like anything I described, but if I get a good one referring to a group or album cover I don't have that would look rather swell next to one of my mini reviews maybe --- just MAYBE --- that'll show up. But in general I'd call AI, at least from the results I've been gettin', less BRAVE NEW WORLD and more HEAVE NEW WORLD!

***

Hey, the JUCIKA "X" page has been terminated which is a dang shame given how I've come to look forward to seeing the Hungarian comic strip gal in various stages of tight-fitting outfits as part of my daily decompression. Perhaps this title was just too much for the prudes at "X" who run things to handle, except that the prudes haven't been running anything in years unless you count the NEW prudes out there, of which I have the feeling many of you readers out there just happen to be! Too bad --- gonna miss them squeezies on her.

***

I believe I have already told you about this, but if not  I'm sure you Golden Age of Rock Fanzine types will sure want to know this! Digital copies of the infamous GULCHER can be snatched up on-line, so if you want #0 or maybe even #4 and see where I swiped a whole lot of my ideas from well then, GO DOG GO!!!

***

Whenever I look through my record, tape and whatever else produces music collection I think about how blessed I am to have such a vast array of music (as well as boffo album art) at my fingertips. Sure's better'n having flesh 'n blood friends if you ask me but anyhoo --- given the rush job this post has turned out to be don't expect the usual --- er --- genius that usually goes into these crucial to the cause of Western Civilization missives. Perhaps I'd call this 'un "sub-genius" but I don't wanna get sued by any religion out there. Paul McGarry and Thierry Muller provided the goods that went into this one.

Roky Erickson-MAD DOG CD-r burn (originally on Swordfish Records)

With all of the Roky and Elevators reissues and samplers that have been floating around for ages it's understandable that a cheapskate like myself would never be able to keep up with it all. In fact I don't even recall having heard about this particular collection which has been out on the under-the-underground market since 1992, something which is way too bad for me because that means I missed out on thirty years of the opportunity to give this particular effort a listen. And as we all would have hoped, this is a pretty solid set of rare Roky not only featuring him with a couple of his famed backing bands but some hot solo acoustic ravers that have the electricity baked smack dab right into 'em. Baked in solid like any good rock 'n roll effort that is, and I gotta admit that I find it amazing that a guy with Roky's mental shakeupiness could have ever create such straight-ahead and deep growl efforts. Kinda proves that Kenneth Anger was right when he wrote that genius and madness go hand in hand.

***

Lolitas-FUSEE D'AMOUR CD-r burn (originally on New Rose Records, France)

Not just yer anyday gal group playing up the butts 'n bullseyes angle, these femmes have the same deep drive and under-the-underground seriousness of all those other Gallic greats that France seemed to proliferate in ever since the glory days of Open Market and PARAPULIE magazine. Eschewing the giddy gal play-up of many of the weaker (hah!) sex, these Lolitias just might be the best all-female musical act since Dangerous Birds. Neet version of "Little Queenie" renditioned in a style that I would tend to term "Skydog" if you get my drift. A surprisingly solid and driving effort, even if we all know that boys are better than girls (yech!). (Weird note --- a day after writing the above I discovered that these gals're from Berlin which really surprises me since it was Thierry who sent this 'un to me and like, they don't have any sorta Teutonic steel bra and braided hair sensibility to 'em!)

***

Freddie King-LET'S HIDE AWAY AND DANCE AWAY CD-r burn (originally on King Records)

King's r/b really fits in with the rest of them instrumental biggies of the late-fifties/early-sixties instro heyday, and there's no real reason why one couldn't rank these pretty rockin' in their own way efforts up there with the Ventures or Johnny and the Hurricanes for that matter. Solid sounds that hold up just as well as any of those trashy garage bands that were cranking out a similar sound at cheapo hall dances, at least until the second strata of rock set in a few measly years later put an emphasis on fake English accents.

***

Various Artists-MAD ABOUT YOU CD-r burn

I wonder why Thierry named this mixdisque after one of those lousy sitcoms I purposefully missed way back when but he did and well, this MAD ABOUT YOU (a more solid that you'd expect collection of French under-the-underground rarites of the eighties) has nothing to do with that one so there's nothing to fret your little minds over this time. 

Disque starts off with some '83 vintage French group that went by the same name as them Amerigan reggae punks. Yes, there were two Bad Brains out there but this bunch sound more punk rock 1976 here as opposed to the blare the other guys with the same name made their rasta known with around the same time. Really liked the way they de/reconstructed the old "Milk Cow Blues" via the Chocolate Watchband's "Don't Need Your Lovin'"! Mighty good --- dunno how I missed out on the original Closer records issue and I am sad that I did even though my wallet is all the happier for it.

Hate to (once again) show my more'n obvious ignorance but I must since I know practically nada 'bout the Rhythmeurs and worse off can't locate any solid info on the web in order not to look as doofus as I already do regarding the group's very existence. They do have that Gallic sound and sway that reminds me of some of those groups that Skydog plopped onto an unsuspecting audience 'round '77 way like Asphalt Jungle. 

Kid Pharaon and the Lonely Ones come closer to that mid-eighties sense of underground pop modes. Pretty melodic and well-produced, great sounding and the riffs do remind me of that shard of hope I had that the mode and feel of the seventies would live on into the next decade (this was right when I was stuck smack dab inna middle of it!).

"Someone To Talk To" by the Shifters doesn't have the extracurricular sputum to make it anything I would call soul-stabbing or out of the ordinary while the Batmen's "Las Vegas" is a fairly entertaining re-write of "Shout". And hey, I've heard of Les Thugs before but my opinion regarding them really isn't that much different than the one I have for the Shifters. But thankfully this group did their best to ramp up on the usual energy levels that were lacking in a whole slew of acts purporting to be "rock & roll" at the time, hardcore adherents included.

Hey, there's some more LOLITAS for my perusal, and I'm not buying the German thing with 'em one bit since they're singing en francais and do a pretty good Berlitz-y job of it as well! I feel like Vinnie Barbarino --- so confused...

Les Coronados --- "fair". Closer to the old "six-oh" revivalists in many ways and perhaps lacking in the swerve that most of the earlier groups in that movement oozed making it one fine antidote to all of the anti-rock hijinx that were happening at the time.

As far as Les Gloires Locales go, they approach trash punk aesthetics with some sixties input like all good (and trad rad) punks were tending to do during those days.

Closing it all out are two tracks by the French Dogs, a band who really got a lotta fanzine press during the eighties perhaps because there wasn't really that much else going on to write about. Their contribs don't seem as forceful as their early trackage but these Chiens really did give us true bleu rock 'n rollers some hope that it wasn't all gonna be blanded out into unrecognizable pus. A good enough cap on a collection of French goodies that I think shoulda gotten more'n just a honorable mention on this side of the aisle, ifyaknowaddamean...  

***

LES GRYS-GRYS CD-r burn (originally on Groovie Records)

A modern-day "six-oh" revival group that, like the better groups from that long-lived genre, actually sounds authentic from the recording quality to the overtly-Pretty Things-esque performance. With some early Who thrown because, why not? Ain't been goin' googie over these kinda groups for awhile (or at least until the bands that inspired 'em started to get reissued) but somehow les Grys-Grys has me flashing back to the v. early-eighties when money was scarce and Creation singles even scarcer. I still kept all my old Systematic and Rough Trade catalogs, so this 'un should resonate in me somewhat. 

***

The Feelies-SOME KINDA LOVE CD-r burn (originally on BarNone Records)

Y'all know that I never was anywhere near being a Feelies fanatic the way many people out there who shoulda known better've been for nigh on forty-five years. So it would be startling to you to read that I find these tunes taken from a show consisting of nothing but Velvet Underground covers (which is a bad idea in itself, or at least it was for the past fifty years) faithful enough, and perhaps even downright enjoyable. Of course it ain't as beautifully and clandestinely subversive as that all-VU Plastic People of the Universe live show that they snuck under the auspices of the Communists by turning it into a lecture but still, it's great enough for my own sense of what's prim 'n proper.

***

These fanzines have been getting a bad rap for ages already, and if you really are that curious to find out why then, as the old cliche goes, what's stopping you??? Buy 'em by the bag and have a good time wallowing in your usual self-important indignation while maybe learning a thing or two about your favorite musical act that has probably been disproven over the years.

(Well Ray Dio Byrdman, you wanted a new post and, unfortunately, you GOT it!)

Here I am, Mister PERSONA NON GRATIS himself once again with a batch of personal frivolities and recording reviews for you to either take or leave and I know it's gonna be the former. And if you're wonderin' why I'm referring to myself in such deprecating terms well, once again I have to get something off my chest in typical Gypsy Rose Lee fashion --- mainly the plain fact that it is starting to bug me EVEN MORE THAN USUAL that I've been treated so shabbily by just about everyone in this thing that we used to call "rock fandom". Y'know, on one hand it is irritating in typical stick-in-my-craw fashion thinking back upon less halcyon days and remembering just how many of my former compats have deserted me for whatever not-so-strange reasons there may be (and yeah, we know what they all are!). I mean sheesh, it wasn't like I was antagonizing anybody and we were gettin' along so fine and being rather buddy-buddy copasetic for quite awhile without personal nuances and swelled senses of importance getting in the way of our "friendships". But then the knives were pulled out and a lotta stab wounds were found on my back and well, lesser types do like to skedaddle a sinking ship so to speak and turn on people when them chips are way down, and I should know having experienced all of this first hand and thinking about it does kinda dig into me like an undigested peanut stuck in one's colon. 

Then again I'm kinda GLAD that a good portion of my readership has felt so offended and shamed by my writings, especially when these same blokes don't mind offending and shaming people themselves and in a pretty hoity-toity my species is better than yours way at that. I kinda get the idea (at least from watching the spiritual decendents [no sic] of my former buddies via Libs of Tic Tok) that these precious petunia types actually think that it's their natural birthright (them being so blessed and all) to have cut all ties and berate me the way they have. Was I actually so antagonistic to these people in an overtly boistrous way? Perhaps they do this only to masturbate their (I guess) fragile egos and sense of esteem, or maybe they are as prissy and as uptight as the new leftists (who are the spiritual spawn of those "uplifters" seen in DW Griffith films) have been for quite some time lacking any of the tolerance they claim to exude like pus from a syphilitic penis. 

It would be the best explanation for their utter contempt for me and, once you get to the heart of these folks' general attitudes and behavior, it only confirms my deeply held convictions that people really are shit after all. Given the tendency of the likes of Jay Hinman (I forgive, but in no way will I forget) and Ken Shimamoto to go out of their way to treat me as hideous as they have I've begun to realize that I really can't love my neighbor let alone be tolerant of anything that I find offensive even in the slightest. And if you think I'm being nothing by a big crybaby about it what do you want me to do. walk away with a smile? Hey, I really could direct a few things your way that might get quite a few of you doing some major league sniffling but I am (really!) trying to keep my temper in control.

To put it in simpler terms, I gotta eschew any shard of the humanist cop-out (as Wayne McGuire so succinctly put it) that has been shoved down my throat ever since entering them hallowed halls of grade school. I've come to realize a good long time ago that a good portion of the people who are involved in rock fandom were, and maybe are, massive hypocrites who believe themselves to be superior in any way shape and form to lesser forms of life like myself. Frankly, people like this can only be handled by shoving the same anti-life evil straight back into their faces, so if I am treating you with respect and kindness it does mean that I hold you in some sort of exalted fashion and that you are one of the rare ones. However that just might change. Other than that, I'd enjoy seeing you all take a swan dive into the La Brea Tar Pits.

***

Now it's funtime, or so I hope. Anyhow, despite the opening rant of pure hate I must admit that things can be somewhat jolly around here if I put my mind to it (well, most all of it was written before I got into my bad mood mode which was set off by the discovery of a person who did some stabbing himself's own blog and boy did those feeling just come rushing back like the water breaking on a pregnant fifty foot woman). Not that there's much to have fun with in these days of cyborg anti-emotion but still, if I look hard enough I can ooze into that awed-out feeling of total suburban slob bliss. 

Why just yesterday I spent a good hour or three listening to old albums (of the vinyl variety even) while reading a few of the writeups I got via RocksBackPages a few years back. Gotta say that the mix of Charles Shaar Murray and Giovanni Dadomo on the printed page with Iggy Pop and the (original pre-jazz fusion) Mothers of Invention on the stereo sure goes swell and like, if I hadda spend the rest of my life just goofin' off and indulging in such heavenly blitz I'd consider myself way better off'n any of you will ever be!

***

Hey, if you missed out on Paul Morley's 1976 fanzine OUT THERE you can always eyeball a kinda/sorta virtual copy here! Don't say I don't go 'round doin' nuthin' good fer ya! And if you decide to print the thing out on glossy paper digest-sized you'll get a close approximation of what the real deal looked like, devious fanzine lover you most certainly are and which you most certainly will remain.

***

I just LOVE goofing around with Artificial Intelligence and made even more whacked out pix for my own (and maybe even yours as well) personal pleasure. I get a wild kick outta whatever does pop up what with their inherent absurdities which come off like those weirdo dreams that pull images from all over the psyche that I have with an alarming frequency, all fleshed out and quite puzzling in their lack of logic so-to-speak. And something tells me that you never saw Sky Saxon and the Seeds looking like this!

I guess this is supposed to be Jan Savage.

And this Seed looks like he'd be more at home in Guns 'n Roses.

This pic was taken at a jam session featuring Frank Zappa, Captain Beefheart, Alice Cooper and Tim Buckley. There are obviously TWO  Zappas in the pic and that just might be Beefheart playing drums complete with a cymbal on the (I think it is a) floor tom. Who knows, that also might be Beefheart playing the other guitar making me wonder where Alice and Tim are.

The following three are movie posters for the Don Fellman classic A NUMBER LIKE N:

The following are two covers for the unreleased third Velvet Underground (excuse me, "Ublased Oovndgorund" or is it "Veet: Siveer Andougiriand"???) album with John Cale featuring "Sweet Sister Ray" --- hmmm, that second one looks like a good candidate for an actual Velvets bootleg!

AI really screwed up the pic I wanted here! I guess I better learn how to give better descriptions of what I'm looking for.

Here's a pic that reminds me of a late-thirties vintage Salvador Dali/Norman Rockwell flub-a-dub. I especially like the way that extra calf extends from the blonde's left leg similar to the male pant leg emanating from the teacher above. And that fellow seen in the center of the pic is supposed to be Spanky McFarland.

***

Have a few winners in here that you might feel like swiping next time you go to the record shop --- that is if there just happens to be a record shop in your neck of the area and you didn't ditch your oversized raincoat. Paul McGarry is to be thanked and is certainly not one on my ever-growing shit list.

Les Rallizes Denudes-STUDIO SESSIONS 1972 & 1980 LP (Take It Acid Is Records, Italy)

Side one's got that previously ish'd 23-minute instrumental rave which reminds me of Dave Allen and the Arrows taken to even more gear-grinding extremes. Well, it's a good excuse for me to hear it again considering I dunno where in my collection I can find the original. "A Tale of Love" which starts off the second side takes the pressure down a few notches but still delivers on some prime blast while yet another version of "Field of Artificial Flowers" caps the thing off sounding quite late-sixties Amerigan garage band stoic! These might be available on one of the many Denudes quickie Cee Dee burns that cluttered up ebay a good two decades back so if you missed out on the carnage the first time you have a chance to redeem your sorry self.

***

15-60-75-20 CD (Reedurban Records, PO Box 80007, Canton, OH 44708)

Nobody that I know seems to remember this early oughts collection chock fulla Numbers Band recordings from '74 up until the mid-eighties, and to this NE Ohio camp follower that is a dang ol' shame. 

Robert Kidney is, as you'd expect given his pronounced passion and energy, at the top of his form doing alla them things those "rock poets" we oh so admired way back when were famed for. Given the lack of "look at me" pretension perhaps he did it even better. The band, as you would've expected all these years later, delivers on what Laughner called "voodoo music" making most if not all of those other white r/b acts sound particularly stilted in comparison. 

The Numbers do come off a little more rock 'n roll than usual (at least on the eighties-vintage numbers) which surprises but doesn't bother me one iota and man, after listening to all of the down-to-it that the group delivers it sure is a mystery why this band didn't break through like BIG. (Knew a guy who saw 'em ca. '74 and he was stymied they didn't overtake the entire sphere!) "Stolen Cadillac", the oldest track in the batch, was produced by fames Ann Arbor somethingorother John Sinclair which should count for some musically significant brownie points. 

Dunno if the address above is still valid but if you want it, you'll try as hard as you can to obtain. (TRUE STORY: I played "Not Fade Away" for my cyster and she thought it was Elvis! Reminds me of the time when I was watching the Music Machine on television and my mother thought they were the Beatles which proves that some things happily do not change!)

***

The Nude Party-MIDNIGHT MANOR CD-r burn (originally on New West Records)

I was once invited to a nude party but didn't go because I didn't have anything to wear! Now that I got my bad gag joke outta the way lemme just say that this is an interesting item, a fairly good effort even though it's something that (as usual) I probably wouldn't listen to again. It has a nice tinge of late-sixties pop to it and the cuts that sound like Todd's "I Saw The Light" were something I didn't hafta struggle through. Somehow I get the idea that this, had it actually come out 'round the turn of them decades (sixties unto seventies), would have made a great flea market find a good ten or so years later.

***

F.U.2.-PUNK ROCK CD-r burn (originally on Beat Records, England)

This punk rock cash-in recorded by the Downliners Sect really does a lot, not only for punk bandwagon jumping but for the cause of punk rock itself. Actually surpasses its kitsch bargain bin trappings to become a legit contender to the realm what with it (almost) coming off like what an actual Raw Records Sect album woulda had someone thought of slapping one together. (I think one was recorded --- 's been so long I can't remember.) Now if someone'd only reissue that punk exploito platter where various Sect members along with future Pretender James Honeyman-Scott slapped out some more of these cash-in punk classics complete with a Standells cover (and perhaps even more NUGGET-y treats) tossed in!

***

Polygraph Lounge-THE EP CD (Polygraph Lounge Records) 

I've wanted to know about these multi-instrumentalists ever since I tuned into a CB's 313 Gallery cybercast only to see the two of 'em packing up a massive amount of gear that even made the Art Ensemble of Chicago's barrage look scant. Fifteen or so years later I finally got the opportunity to hear 'em and like, I am somewhat impressed. The PDQ Bach and Spike Jones angle does not appeal to me and the country spoof might be a bit too obvious, but Polygraph Lounge do deliver on some interesting soundsqualls and parody that doesn't make you think this is some nauseating Ray Stevens "take off" not even worth a listen. The live re-do of "The Nutcracker" actually hit a positive nerve in the grey room and would make for a bright Christmas track to spin on my own podcast if I only had one. A once-in-awhile effort that I hope I'll be able to find in my massive collection when I do want to hear it again. 

***

Johnny Dowd-HOMEMADE PIE CD-r burn (originally on Mother Jinx Records)

Like a lotta these new country twang unto rock recordings this becomes tiresome and perhaps even trite within a few cuts. Since I never did cozy up to the Dwight Yoakum type of giddyap perhaps I shouldn't be reviewing this, but given I'm in a particularly angry mood (wrote this after I did that opening schpiel) I feel it safer to do my venting via this here writeup rather than go out and sock some ol' granny inna jaw. One of those recordings that some nimnul out there will think I gave an unfair review to and that I should have listened to it about fifty times in order to absorb its nuances and that I'm such a horrible writer anyway so take that along with your run on sentences and who cares what you think anyway even though I did go out of my way to deliver this hatescreed to you etc. and so forth. Sheesh, if I could only PICK my readership!

***

I used to get really frothing at the mouth mad back when various pundits would PURPOSEFULLY spew misinformation about my fanzine for whatever not-so-occult purposes they may have so desired. Well, if you want to find out if said scribes were on-target or not with their ideas then you can always latch onto one or hopefully even more back issues by clicking on the highlighted word "fanzine" above. You too might want to see the truth revealed for once, or at least help me get back some needed dollars by buying something that should have been purchased ages back and then you wouldn't have to be reading these pathetic pleads at the end of most of these bigtime posts now, would you?