It's been awhile since I've posted a crone story on my blog. I just don't run across them too often. But today I came across not just a crone story, but ...
the funniest. thing. I. have. ever. come. across. on. the. Internet.
Well, perhaps the two funniest things. Estrogen Month and Sweet Savage She-Blogger rock, Tild. But listen to this story and image your old age outings with friends.
If laughter is the best medicine, get ready for a cure. It's an audio file and it may take a while, but be patient. it's worth the wait:
http://www.goddessmystic.com/blog/voicemail.mp3
This takes place in or near Dallas, and our narrator sounds so much like my brother it takes me back to the East Texas of my youth.
Backstory (courtesy of ham & cheese on wry):
An operations manager for Jack in the Box called his boss to tell him he was running late for a meeting. As he was leaving the voice mail message, he witnessed an accident and went on to provide "play by play" of the incident. This is the actual voice mail message. It was forwarded so many times within Jack in the Box, it crashed their voice mail server.
Monday, March 28, 2005
Sunday, March 27, 2005
Sweet Savage She-Blogger
People do different things that enable them to unwind; to de-pressurize from whatever it is that's pressuring them in their daily lives, be it job, relationship, home situation, health worries, whatever.
Some people knit. Some people jump on a treadmill. Some people make fudge. Some people play Quake. Some people masturbate to the Victoria's Secret catalog. Some people drink a quart of scotch and pass out. Some people eat fudge, drink a quart of scotch and masturbate to the Victoria's Secret catalog while running on the treadmill, then get sick and pass out after they bonk their head on the rim of the toilet. Hey, whatever works for you.
At one very stressful job I had several years ago, we had a table and chairs set up in a quiet corner of the department, and on the table were a big stack of coloring books and several boxes of crayons. Whenever you needed to take a break from a screaming client or an impossible deadline you could retreat to the coloring table for a while and just... color. Stay inside the lines if you wanted to, or scribble all over the page from edge to edge. Hey, whatever works for you.
For various reasons, my life happens to be a pressure cooker at the moment, and I often find myself in need of a de-stressing activity. My activity of choice is doctoring up old magazine ads and pulp magazine and paperback covers. Paintshop Pro and MS Paint are my coloring books and crayons.
I must have been under extreme pressure lately, because my output of 'Tildified' pictures has increased dramatically. I decided to share some of them with you here.
Just think of this post as a virtual refrigerator door where my mom has put my latest creations on display; (all held in place by magnets shaped like ladybugs and green peppers.)
My subject for all of March, in honor of Estrogen Month, has been women bloggers. Who are they? Where are they? What are they doing? What do they want? (Besides Kevin Drum's head on a pike, that is. ...Right next to Matt Yglesias'.)
Elayne, Rox, Lauren, and Trish -- this one's for you:
The most excellent SB of Watermark and Blogging Blog informs that there is soon to be a conference on blogging and bloggers in her district of Blogistan out Montana way. She has put out a call for a cowgirl She-Blogger image to mark the occasion. I hear and obey, sister!
Yikes. Bloodthirsty old bat, ain't I. Must finish with something a little milder; a little gentler. Lull 'em into complacency, I say....
This post also appears over here.
Saturday, March 19, 2005
Feminism, Visibility, and Peace
As Dave Letterman used to say, I am tired, but it is a good kind of tired...
Just finished up today's activities at the Center for New Words' 2005 Women and Media conference. And what a day! I served as a presenter fof two panel discussions, attended an extremely well-done seminar, and met a number of women who read AF&O-- thank you so much for coming!!! -- or whose own blogs are faves of mine. This was one superb day.
First up was my first session -- fiddling around with a crashed computer and an ultimately useless (for now) Powerpoint presentation forced me to miss the morning keynote. But the panel more than made up for it: In "Women Seizing the Online Space," the focus of the discussion was expanding and amplifying the voices of women in cyberspace. As Elayne Riggs anticipated in one of her terrific Estrogen Month posts, we did indeed talk a bit about supposedly invisible women bloggers (and Kevin Drum probably felt his ears grow a bit warm this morning). Joining me on the panel were AlterNet senior editor Lakshmi Chaudry, Women's ENews founder and editor-in-chief Rita Hensley Jensen (my hotel roomie), and Rosalyn Lemieux, who is an online organizer for MoveOn.org; the moderator was Tara Tidwell Cullen, who is managing editor of Cultural Survival Quarterly. All of these women had thoughtful things to say about increasing the presence and power of women online. Ultimately, it comes down to one thing: Getting women on the 'Net, giving them the confidence to express themselves openly -- among other women and in mainstream settings -- and using the power of the Internet to organize and find community.
When this session ended, I headed to "Start Your Own Blog in 90 Minutes," in which Christine Cupiaolo of Ms. Musings led a group of women through starting their own weblogs. In 90 minutes. I love truth in advertising. Now, I've been at this website/blogging thing for nearly a decade, so I didn't need to start one -- I just wanted the opportunity to meet my cybercolleague Christine face to face. The mission was accomplished most satisfactorily: Not did I get to connect with Christine, who did an awesome job, but I also learned about podcasting. And the goddess behind Echidne of the Snakes was there too -- what an honor that she came up and introduced herself to me. I am such a huge fan of her work.
The next session was simply inspirational. The topic was "Out of Vogue: The Future of Feminist Publishing." Sitting on the panel with me were Jean Casella, former publisher and director of the legendary Feminist Press; Carol Anne Douglas, part of the editorial collective of the equally legendary radical-feminist newsjournal off our backs, Deepa Fernandes of Pacifica Radio (this young woman is so impressive, as is her commitment to the cause), and Amy Hoffman, an author and editor of the recently-closed Women's Review of Books. (We may see WRB return, goddess willing...) The discussion, moderated by Bitch magazine's Andi Zeisler, centered on how to revitalize publishing for, by, and about women (which, for our purposes, includes books, newspapers and magazines, the Web, and broadcasting). It was fascinating, running the gamut from debating the wisdom of collective vs. capitalist business models, to pondering the ways to meld old-school and third-wave girlie-feminist philosophies, to considering the voices of women in other parts of the world, and to other compelling topics -- including what future the "F" word may or may not have. More questions were raised than answers were found, but one thing is clear: As the decline in women's bookstores and publishing houses continues, the need for feminist publishing rises. Our assignment is obvious -- we must do whatever we must to keep women's words and issues in the public eye. And given the enthusiasm of the women in the room and the empowerment that came from the gathering, I have no doubt we will succeed.
After some lovely chats with Jaclyn and Gilda from the godsend that is the Center for New Words, writer EJ Graff offered a brief and moving tribute to Wanda Alston, the brilliant Washington, DC, activist and GLBT community liaison brutally slain earlier this week -- oh, how she will be missed. Fatigue then hit me like a falling anvil: Back to the hotel and to an awaiting computer.
Which brings me to now. I am soooo tired: My recent bout with pneumonia has left me absolutely depleted. But, as I said, this is a good kind of tired. I may be exhausted, but I feel energized as well. After a good nap, I feel as if I should be able to change the world for the better through the power of the pen. I pray a whole lot of women feel that way too.
Tomorrow, WAM will present a caucus on turning our newfound inspiration into action (which means next week I will have lots of information for you, gentle reader, and much work for you to do). Afterward, I will hit Boston Common to take part in the Global Day of Action. Lots of folks took to the streets today to mark the second anniversary of the US's foul invasion of Iraq, but Beantown is among the cities taking action tomorrow. I feel privileged to be able to take part in the worldwide call for peace; marching in Boston rather than in my usual stomping grounds (NYC, DC, Baltimore) will be so cool. The peaceniks are coming! The peaceniks are coming!
Are you in the Boston area? Come out for peace. Are you elsewhere? Be sure to retaliate with world peace in your city of town. Whatever you do, DO SOMETHING.
Just finished up today's activities at the Center for New Words' 2005 Women and Media conference. And what a day! I served as a presenter fof two panel discussions, attended an extremely well-done seminar, and met a number of women who read AF&O-- thank you so much for coming!!! -- or whose own blogs are faves of mine. This was one superb day.First up was my first session -- fiddling around with a crashed computer and an ultimately useless (for now) Powerpoint presentation forced me to miss the morning keynote. But the panel more than made up for it: In "Women Seizing the Online Space," the focus of the discussion was expanding and amplifying the voices of women in cyberspace. As Elayne Riggs anticipated in one of her terrific Estrogen Month posts, we did indeed talk a bit about supposedly invisible women bloggers (and Kevin Drum probably felt his ears grow a bit warm this morning). Joining me on the panel were AlterNet senior editor Lakshmi Chaudry, Women's ENews founder and editor-in-chief Rita Hensley Jensen (my hotel roomie), and Rosalyn Lemieux, who is an online organizer for MoveOn.org; the moderator was Tara Tidwell Cullen, who is managing editor of Cultural Survival Quarterly. All of these women had thoughtful things to say about increasing the presence and power of women online. Ultimately, it comes down to one thing: Getting women on the 'Net, giving them the confidence to express themselves openly -- among other women and in mainstream settings -- and using the power of the Internet to organize and find community.
When this session ended, I headed to "Start Your Own Blog in 90 Minutes," in which Christine Cupiaolo of Ms. Musings led a group of women through starting their own weblogs. In 90 minutes. I love truth in advertising. Now, I've been at this website/blogging thing for nearly a decade, so I didn't need to start one -- I just wanted the opportunity to meet my cybercolleague Christine face to face. The mission was accomplished most satisfactorily: Not did I get to connect with Christine, who did an awesome job, but I also learned about podcasting. And the goddess behind Echidne of the Snakes was there too -- what an honor that she came up and introduced herself to me. I am such a huge fan of her work.
The next session was simply inspirational. The topic was "Out of Vogue: The Future of Feminist Publishing." Sitting on the panel with me were Jean Casella, former publisher and director of the legendary Feminist Press; Carol Anne Douglas, part of the editorial collective of the equally legendary radical-feminist newsjournal off our backs, Deepa Fernandes of Pacifica Radio (this young woman is so impressive, as is her commitment to the cause), and Amy Hoffman, an author and editor of the recently-closed Women's Review of Books. (We may see WRB return, goddess willing...) The discussion, moderated by Bitch magazine's Andi Zeisler, centered on how to revitalize publishing for, by, and about women (which, for our purposes, includes books, newspapers and magazines, the Web, and broadcasting). It was fascinating, running the gamut from debating the wisdom of collective vs. capitalist business models, to pondering the ways to meld old-school and third-wave girlie-feminist philosophies, to considering the voices of women in other parts of the world, and to other compelling topics -- including what future the "F" word may or may not have. More questions were raised than answers were found, but one thing is clear: As the decline in women's bookstores and publishing houses continues, the need for feminist publishing rises. Our assignment is obvious -- we must do whatever we must to keep women's words and issues in the public eye. And given the enthusiasm of the women in the room and the empowerment that came from the gathering, I have no doubt we will succeed.After some lovely chats with Jaclyn and Gilda from the godsend that is the Center for New Words, writer EJ Graff offered a brief and moving tribute to Wanda Alston, the brilliant Washington, DC, activist and GLBT community liaison brutally slain earlier this week -- oh, how she will be missed. Fatigue then hit me like a falling anvil: Back to the hotel and to an awaiting computer.
Which brings me to now. I am soooo tired: My recent bout with pneumonia has left me absolutely depleted. But, as I said, this is a good kind of tired. I may be exhausted, but I feel energized as well. After a good nap, I feel as if I should be able to change the world for the better through the power of the pen. I pray a whole lot of women feel that way too.
Tomorrow, WAM will present a caucus on turning our newfound inspiration into action (which means next week I will have lots of information for you, gentle reader, and much work for you to do). Afterward, I will hit Boston Common to take part in the Global Day of Action. Lots of folks took to the streets today to mark the second anniversary of the US's foul invasion of Iraq, but Beantown is among the cities taking action tomorrow. I feel privileged to be able to take part in the worldwide call for peace; marching in Boston rather than in my usual stomping grounds (NYC, DC, Baltimore) will be so cool. The peaceniks are coming! The peaceniks are coming!Are you in the Boston area? Come out for peace. Are you elsewhere? Be sure to retaliate with world peace in your city of town. Whatever you do, DO SOMETHING.
Estrogen Month in Full Swing
Frustrated at male bloggers who say we don't exist or aren't popular or worth linking to? Looking to add to your blogroll of political pundits but tired of seeing the same topic discussed to death by the male political blogosphere? Come on over to Estrogen/Women in Blogging Month, being celebrated all March at my blog, where we're discussing and celebrating hundreds of worthy women bloggers! End of plug...
Friday, March 18, 2005
Why We Read Blogs--A Theory
I spent a better part of the past two days pouring over more information about the wonderful world of the Blogosphere, making special note of Dave Sifry's charts, graphs, and convoluted verbiage.
What's fascinated me most is why people read blogs in the first place.
What I've been able to determine, thru all the charts, graphs, and technospeak, is that men who are in the 6 figure plus income bracket, who appear to be the ones who surf blogs the most, are looking for news. Perhaps they are still peeved that, years ago, conservative uber-nerd Matt Drudge beat them to the political commentary punch. So, they spend many, many hours searching for the Savior of the Media--a liberal uber-geek to counter Matt Drudge.
It seems too that their reasons for being so consumed with blogs is that they have a major distrust of the MSM--as if they will not get "the scoop" or "the truth" from anywhere other than a site where the journalistic credibility is questionable. In psychobabble causality, this could be an indication of a problem with their fathers...or another manifestation of a political paranoia that has been steadily evolving since the days of the Kennedy assassination.
(The official stats on men who read blogs, strangely, did not note how many men search blogs for free porn...I found some info on that from my own little poking around on Technorati--pretty funny but not a surprise!)
Yet what I've also determined from a rather informal consensus of women I know who read blogs, is that women may read blogs not only for liberal newsworthiness, but also for insight into the human condition. Women want to find out how others think about love, sex, raising children, coping with careers, taking care of elderly parents, etc., etc. I don't believe we are as occupied with finding validation for our political perspectives in the blogs of others as men might be. Some of us may be looking for "the scoop," but we have time for other things, too.
We seem to enjoy sharing the experience of our lives with others in the Blogosphere--maybe in an effort to feel less alone on our life journeys. Perhaps we are hoping to find others who can relate to us when we are struggling with the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune; or we want to make others laugh; or we want to be appreciated for our hard-earned perspectives on life. (Given the boom in memoir publishing since the 1990's, it's no surprise that there would be many diary/memoir blogs. These blogs are just as, if not more, well-written than those mighty whiny tomes bulking out various isles at the local Barnes and Noble.)
So, in all the charts and figures presented about the State of the Blogosphere, one important thing has been completely left out--the human condition endemic to blogging. But Sifry's a smart guy. Maybe, if given the challenge, he'll figure out a way to chart that too.
Tish G.
(whose Lucky Bastard narratives are far more intriguing than her political commentary--but you know what They say about opinions...)
What's fascinated me most is why people read blogs in the first place.
What I've been able to determine, thru all the charts, graphs, and technospeak, is that men who are in the 6 figure plus income bracket, who appear to be the ones who surf blogs the most, are looking for news. Perhaps they are still peeved that, years ago, conservative uber-nerd Matt Drudge beat them to the political commentary punch. So, they spend many, many hours searching for the Savior of the Media--a liberal uber-geek to counter Matt Drudge.
It seems too that their reasons for being so consumed with blogs is that they have a major distrust of the MSM--as if they will not get "the scoop" or "the truth" from anywhere other than a site where the journalistic credibility is questionable. In psychobabble causality, this could be an indication of a problem with their fathers...or another manifestation of a political paranoia that has been steadily evolving since the days of the Kennedy assassination.
(The official stats on men who read blogs, strangely, did not note how many men search blogs for free porn...I found some info on that from my own little poking around on Technorati--pretty funny but not a surprise!)
Yet what I've also determined from a rather informal consensus of women I know who read blogs, is that women may read blogs not only for liberal newsworthiness, but also for insight into the human condition. Women want to find out how others think about love, sex, raising children, coping with careers, taking care of elderly parents, etc., etc. I don't believe we are as occupied with finding validation for our political perspectives in the blogs of others as men might be. Some of us may be looking for "the scoop," but we have time for other things, too.
We seem to enjoy sharing the experience of our lives with others in the Blogosphere--maybe in an effort to feel less alone on our life journeys. Perhaps we are hoping to find others who can relate to us when we are struggling with the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune; or we want to make others laugh; or we want to be appreciated for our hard-earned perspectives on life. (Given the boom in memoir publishing since the 1990's, it's no surprise that there would be many diary/memoir blogs. These blogs are just as, if not more, well-written than those mighty whiny tomes bulking out various isles at the local Barnes and Noble.)
So, in all the charts and figures presented about the State of the Blogosphere, one important thing has been completely left out--the human condition endemic to blogging. But Sifry's a smart guy. Maybe, if given the challenge, he'll figure out a way to chart that too.
Tish G.
(whose Lucky Bastard narratives are far more intriguing than her political commentary--but you know what They say about opinions...)
Wednesday, March 16, 2005
We're Not Worthy! We're Not Worthy!
Been doing a bit more surfing this a.m. on women in the blogosphere....and found some interesting stuff:
...I discovered that there are several women bloggers who are weighing in on the merits of other women bloggers. To name two: our own Halley Suitt (whose observation on the impact of "white men" on the blogosphere I agree with--and whose tech knowledge I respect) has weighed in on this, as well as conservative pundit Michelle Malkin (whose opinion on Maureen Dowd I agree with, but little else).
It seems, to me anyway, that if women bloggers want to be taken seriously, even by other women bloggers, we must, at some point or another, blog on politics. I'm not sure if it matters whether or not our blogs are well-written or if the overall content is engaging and insightful, just as long as we stick in the occasional political or technological or business commentary. Even if that comment is something to the effect of "Alan Greenspan's a big old meanie--and he sucks too," it might get us a perusal from some dude (or chick) and up our blog's respectability quotient in the malestrom of the blogosphere.
This recent blog debate further highlights the problematic nature of blogs--as well as the need for various groups to identify what exactly a blog is and which of all the blogs are worthy of various ideological group's consideration. As we women engage in this debate and pass judgement on each other's blogs, perhaps we need to look at our own cliqueish nature/sorority mentality, how it, in its own strange way, mimicks the judgement values of the good-old-geek-boy network, and could end up being the cudgle that beats us back into voiceless obscurity.
Tish G.
...I discovered that there are several women bloggers who are weighing in on the merits of other women bloggers. To name two: our own Halley Suitt (whose observation on the impact of "white men" on the blogosphere I agree with--and whose tech knowledge I respect) has weighed in on this, as well as conservative pundit Michelle Malkin (whose opinion on Maureen Dowd I agree with, but little else).
It seems, to me anyway, that if women bloggers want to be taken seriously, even by other women bloggers, we must, at some point or another, blog on politics. I'm not sure if it matters whether or not our blogs are well-written or if the overall content is engaging and insightful, just as long as we stick in the occasional political or technological or business commentary. Even if that comment is something to the effect of "Alan Greenspan's a big old meanie--and he sucks too," it might get us a perusal from some dude (or chick) and up our blog's respectability quotient in the malestrom of the blogosphere.
This recent blog debate further highlights the problematic nature of blogs--as well as the need for various groups to identify what exactly a blog is and which of all the blogs are worthy of various ideological group's consideration. As we women engage in this debate and pass judgement on each other's blogs, perhaps we need to look at our own cliqueish nature/sorority mentality, how it, in its own strange way, mimicks the judgement values of the good-old-geek-boy network, and could end up being the cudgle that beats us back into voiceless obscurity.
Tish G.
Tuesday, March 15, 2005
I have a slightly longer comment regarding women on op-ed pages and women bloggers at my blog....
Tish G.
Tish G.
Inquiring Minds Want to Know!
Occasionally I get a raging case of the Geeks and go poking around on various techie pages....and I find interesting things relating to the wonderful world of the Blogosphere. Check out what Technorati's Dave Sifry has to say about the State of the Blogosphere.
And, while you're at it, you might want to check out this little bit titled All the colors of the rainblog and the links to recent discussions on women and blogging which have come up since the recent heated debates about the derth of women on op-ed pages of high-profile newspapers.
I've been reading alot about these debates, and frankly I don't think Susan Estrich did us any good by attacking Michael Kinsley's health. That was a low blow that would make even a man look bad. When you're trying to make a point, and you've alread got a couple of strikes against you on what the good old boys might call 'general principle' you have to be very careful where you step, and Estrich stepped right in it (from what I can see).
But, overall, I think that using the blogosphere as a barometer for the women/op-ed pages argument is a little goofy. People blog for different reasons--some political, others not, and not all the others are on Livejournal either. There are many in the blogosphere who consider themselves ersatz journalists, while others just consider themselves political activists, and others neither of the above (myself in the third category). Women who should be on op-ed pages are, like the men, individuals who have established themselves not only as journalists but also overall as thinkers. Susan Sontag, for example, was much more than a journalist (although I don't think of Maureen Dowd as either a deep thinker or a journalist, but that's just one woman's opinion--and she's always blabbering in The NY Times).
So, maybe the question is where are the women thinkers? I wouldn't necessarily consider Estrich much of a thinker any more than I would Bill O'Reilly (and if he thinks with anything other than The Little Head, I'd be very surprised)--so I wonder, where are all the women thinkers?
or are we still just too damned busy picking up after the men and the kids and simply don't have the requisite time to fuss over our political navels like the guys do?
Tish G. (linked on
her blog)
And, while you're at it, you might want to check out this little bit titled All the colors of the rainblog and the links to recent discussions on women and blogging which have come up since the recent heated debates about the derth of women on op-ed pages of high-profile newspapers.
I've been reading alot about these debates, and frankly I don't think Susan Estrich did us any good by attacking Michael Kinsley's health. That was a low blow that would make even a man look bad. When you're trying to make a point, and you've alread got a couple of strikes against you on what the good old boys might call 'general principle' you have to be very careful where you step, and Estrich stepped right in it (from what I can see).
But, overall, I think that using the blogosphere as a barometer for the women/op-ed pages argument is a little goofy. People blog for different reasons--some political, others not, and not all the others are on Livejournal either. There are many in the blogosphere who consider themselves ersatz journalists, while others just consider themselves political activists, and others neither of the above (myself in the third category). Women who should be on op-ed pages are, like the men, individuals who have established themselves not only as journalists but also overall as thinkers. Susan Sontag, for example, was much more than a journalist (although I don't think of Maureen Dowd as either a deep thinker or a journalist, but that's just one woman's opinion--and she's always blabbering in The NY Times).
So, maybe the question is where are the women thinkers? I wouldn't necessarily consider Estrich much of a thinker any more than I would Bill O'Reilly (and if he thinks with anything other than The Little Head, I'd be very surprised)--so I wonder, where are all the women thinkers?
or are we still just too damned busy picking up after the men and the kids and simply don't have the requisite time to fuss over our political navels like the guys do?
Tish G. (linked on
her blog)
Monday, March 14, 2005
Trish Wilson Celebrates Her Birthday With Style
Trish Wilson has found a delightful way to celebrate her birthday -- with a post she calls "Subvert The Dominant Link Paradigm" women bloggers edition.
Trish's birthday post is packed with links to terrific posts by women bloggers on feminist issues and other matters near and dear to them. It's well worth checking out, and I'd say that even if Trish hadn't included my Wonderbra song parody and my political song parody called "Nothin's More Revoltin' Than Dub's Nominee John Bolton."
So be sure to stop by and wish Trish a happy birthday, and check out all those links.
Trish's birthday post is packed with links to terrific posts by women bloggers on feminist issues and other matters near and dear to them. It's well worth checking out, and I'd say that even if Trish hadn't included my Wonderbra song parody and my political song parody called "Nothin's More Revoltin' Than Dub's Nominee John Bolton."
So be sure to stop by and wish Trish a happy birthday, and check out all those links.
Tuesday, March 08, 2005
Burning the Double Standard at Both Ends
Jamie Lee Curtis “came out” and exposed the kinds of trickery that the entertainment industry uses to make women look more beautiful in film and print. Why? Because at age 40+, she was through being poked, prodded, and starved to maintain a media friendly image. Kirstie Alley is stepping up to the plate to speak out against the same kinds of standards. What do these women have in common? They only chose to complain about these images and standards after they no longer met them. How can we blithely applaud them for their efforts against unrealistic expectations of beauty when they and other highly visible women achieved (and continue to achieve) wealth and success perpetuating them?
The same can be said for every over-forty actress heard voicing her disgust at the lack of juicy roles in Hollywood for women their age. How much effort was made by these women to thwart sexist ageism in Hollywood when people were lining up to take their picture? How many of them turned down roles because they had to play a much younger wife to a sixty year-old, Viagra chugging geezer? Does it occur to either Curtis or Alley that their efforts today would not be necessary if they and other women had not sanctified those potentially dangerous stereotypes to begin with? Those women are not standing up and saying "no" to someone else's stupid expectations. They're trying to sell empowerment because they can no longer sell their young, beautiful asses. Now, they're on our side? Give me a break. I'll let them play in my sandbox when I think it means something, not because it's their only other option.
When we bask in the reflected glory of false bravado, we can easily forget that unrealistic beauty standards are not only reinforced but celebrated because other women agree to meet them. As long as not-so-visible women and former media darlings are the only ones in the vanguard against an entirely unhealthy image of beauty, we're screwed. The world is saturated with images of young women who are so thin that they have to buy breasts. And it's only getting worse.
Fostering the illusion of eternal youth and beauty is worth it for famous actresses because at the end of the day, they know it is bullshit and they're getting paid a lot of money to pretend that it's not. I will stop doubting the sincerity and intentions of these babes when there are fewer shows like “Fat Actress” and more shows like “Thin Gorgeous Actress Eats a Ham Sandwich and Refuses to Pretend She’d Actually Sleep with an Old Skanky Bastard”.
Schizophelia Jones
The same can be said for every over-forty actress heard voicing her disgust at the lack of juicy roles in Hollywood for women their age. How much effort was made by these women to thwart sexist ageism in Hollywood when people were lining up to take their picture? How many of them turned down roles because they had to play a much younger wife to a sixty year-old, Viagra chugging geezer? Does it occur to either Curtis or Alley that their efforts today would not be necessary if they and other women had not sanctified those potentially dangerous stereotypes to begin with? Those women are not standing up and saying "no" to someone else's stupid expectations. They're trying to sell empowerment because they can no longer sell their young, beautiful asses. Now, they're on our side? Give me a break. I'll let them play in my sandbox when I think it means something, not because it's their only other option.
When we bask in the reflected glory of false bravado, we can easily forget that unrealistic beauty standards are not only reinforced but celebrated because other women agree to meet them. As long as not-so-visible women and former media darlings are the only ones in the vanguard against an entirely unhealthy image of beauty, we're screwed. The world is saturated with images of young women who are so thin that they have to buy breasts. And it's only getting worse.
Fostering the illusion of eternal youth and beauty is worth it for famous actresses because at the end of the day, they know it is bullshit and they're getting paid a lot of money to pretend that it's not. I will stop doubting the sincerity and intentions of these babes when there are fewer shows like “Fat Actress” and more shows like “Thin Gorgeous Actress Eats a Ham Sandwich and Refuses to Pretend She’d Actually Sleep with an Old Skanky Bastard”.
Schizophelia Jones
Dubya's Democracy Occupation; and Friday Hometown Blogging
I often wonder how Bush says most of what he says with a straight face. For instance, here's Bush doing his stern act regarding Syria's occupation of Lebanon:
And in another post, I suggest Friday hometown blogging for bloggers who lack a blog-worthy cat. My first hometown blogging effort is A Baysider's Ode To Queens, which begins:
We want democracy in Lebanon to succeed. And we know it cannot succeed so long as she is occupied by a foreign power.Such hypocrisy calls for a poem:
Dubya's Democracy OccupationThe rest of Dubya's Democracy Occupation is here.
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Democracy cannot succeed,
Said Dubya with a glower.
In countries that are occupied
By mean old foreign powers...
And in another post, I suggest Friday hometown blogging for bloggers who lack a blog-worthy cat. My first hometown blogging effort is A Baysider's Ode To Queens, which begins:
Both a county and a borough,The rest of my Baysider's Ode To Queens is here.
Part of New York City too.
On Long Island, yet not of it.
I'm confused as hell. Are you? ...
Are bloggers journalists?
My fellow Blog Sisters, you should be aware of a case now being litigated in California which addresses whether bloggers are entitled to the same legal protections as traditional journalists. The Electronic Frontier Foundation, which has stepped in to represent the bloggers, has collected the briefs here. (Hat tip to How Appealing for the pointer.) The case has gotten a lot of news coverage lately, with recent articles in the San Francisco Chronicle and New York Times, among other papers.
Saturday, March 05, 2005
Putting the "Aaaaaaaaa!" in Anti-Choice
The oft-stated fear over the future of Roe v. Wade and reproductive rights in the US is not mere paranoia. The Bush Administration's renewed effort to stack the judicial deck with far-right, anti-choice judges appears to be under way -- and the plan the Shrubbies propose is nothing less than terrifying. Read the following, check out NARAL Pro-Choice America's new web film, and take a stand for women, for justice, and for freedom.
Meanwhile, MoveOn.org needs justice-minded folks to sign a petition urging lawmakers to stand against Bush's re-nomination of 20 highly partisan, pro-corporate candidates who were already rejected for the US Courts of Appeals. As the organization notes, they were stopped before, they should be stopped again. Please give the petition a look and, if you are so inclined, sign it.
from all facts and opinions
It's easy - and funny - to imagine Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia as rights-stomping Judgezilla, but the reality of whatTake action to save the filibuster, which, right now, may be the only friend progressives have.
[Dubya] Bush and his far-right, anti-choice friends are planning for the Supreme Court is all too serious, and even scarier than a monster movie.
See the movie "Creatures from the Far Right: Supreme Court Under Attack" to see what I mean.
Seriously... in their zeal to pack the courts with anti-choice extremists, Bush and Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist (R-TN) are manipulating Senate rules to take away the Senate's constitutional right to review and oppose judicial nominees. This so-called "nuclear option" would take away our most powerful line of defense against extremist judges: the filibuster.
If you value balance and moderation on our courts, and believe the Senate should carefully review judges who will be confirmed to lifetime appointments, Frist's plan is even scarier than our movie monsters -- and takes even more courage to oppose.
Please ask your senators to support important procedures that ensure that the Senate independently review the record and merits of each judicial candidate.
Meanwhile, MoveOn.org needs justice-minded folks to sign a petition urging lawmakers to stand against Bush's re-nomination of 20 highly partisan, pro-corporate candidates who were already rejected for the US Courts of Appeals. As the organization notes, they were stopped before, they should be stopped again. Please give the petition a look and, if you are so inclined, sign it.
from all facts and opinions
Thursday, March 03, 2005
The Real Reason Condi Gave Canada The Boot
In my latest post over at Mad Kane's Notables I explain the real reason Condi gave Canada the boot. I also do some fun-poking at Condi-for-Prez fans, including those who are panting in anticipation of a Condi v. Hillary presidential race.
And while you're there, I hope you'll check out my Those Classy Right-wingers Are At It Again, in which I reveal which loony site named my Dubya's Dayly Diary its "retarded lib site of the day." Now that's what I call an honor!
And while you're there, I hope you'll check out my Those Classy Right-wingers Are At It Again, in which I reveal which loony site named my Dubya's Dayly Diary its "retarded lib site of the day." Now that's what I call an honor!
Sunday, February 27, 2005
Friday night at the movies
Since we all felt better by the end of the week and can now spend several hours in public without having to stop and cough up a lung every 15 minutes, we spent Friday evening in Minneapolis. All four of us. SETU drove, which meant that Leland "Buzz" and I sat in the backseat shrieking and hollering directions and repeatedly stomping our right feet on imaginary brake pedals.
No, I exaggerate. SETU is actually a very good driver. Very steady; very confident; very careful. And I'm sure SYTU will be equally good when he gets his driver's license next year. I have much to be thankful for. Later this weekend I will sacrifice a Gold n Plump three legged fryer from Cub on the altar grill to propitiate the gods.
I really should stop calling them the Surly Elder and Younger Teenaged Units, because they are really not surly very often, if at all anymore. So, what adjective to use instead? They are both taller than their parents, and have been for quite a while now. Their current heights are hovering around the 6'4" mark, more or less, depending on hair length and what degree of teenage slacker slouch they are affecting this week. I think I'll refer to them as the Towering Elder and Younger Teenaged Units -- The Two Towers -- until something better comes along.
They each have their own crowd of peeps, buds, friends, what have you, and their own social lives, so we hardly ever go out to the movies like this anymore - - not all together, and not on a Friday night, but Leland "Buzz" made the admirable suggestion that we go into town and see "National Treasure" at the Riverview, and that sounded like a great idea to all four of us, so that's what we did.
Leland "Buzz" and I saw "The Incredibles" there last month, and I've been raving about the Riverview ever since. It is now officially my Most Favorite Movie Theater of All Time. Click on the link and take the Quicktime virtual tour of the lobby and the auditorium. This is Movie Heaven, imho. The movie-going experience could not possibly get any better than this.
My favorite movie house for many years was the Uptown, because I lived in the neighborhood for a decade, and had so many memorable times there...
In '77 I introduced my sister and brother in law [the ones who are now Limbaugh-tomized and worship at the Church of Dear Leader] to the joys of Rocky Horror Picture Show at the Uptown. They hadn't drunk the rethuglican koolaid back then, altho in restrospect I can see why, when it was offered to them, they gulped it down with gusto. My brother-in-law: a straight-arrow, Navy ROTC-bred, decorated Vietnam vet nursing a simmering hatred for all those lazy, undeserving, liberal-coddled welfare cheats and dope-peddling hippie freaks he saw everywhere when he returned home from his tour of duty. And My sister: the classic obedient wife, taking all her cues for social interaction and all her talking points verbatim from her husband.
Oy. I suppose I should be concerned that they're going to read this post, but I know they never will. After all, these are the people who bought a desktop PC a couple years ago and hardly ever turn the thing on, much less read email or surf.
I had been going to RHPS about once a month, with a different friend or group of friends each time, and finally I decided it was time I coaxed my sis and her hub out of their suburban sanctuary and got them to take a little 'walk on the wild side' in funky boho Uptown. Ooooooooh. Jebus. Remember, kids, this was nearly thirty years ago. Anyway, so sis and hub agreed to meet me at the Uptown, and showed up looking exceedingly tense and uncomfortable; sneaking peeks at the black bustier and fishnet stockings- clad Frank N Furters in line; sis clutching hub's arm in the viselike Honey Get Me Outta Here death-grip.
I remember commenting to my boyfriend at the time "Look! Brad and Janet have arrived!" *snigger snigger*.
During the movie I had no idea how sis and hub were faring. They sat stock still and in silence all through the brazenly naughty behavior on display onscreen and in the aisles. Throwing toast in the air!? Zounds, what debauchery! Afterwards, as we walked to the car, brother in law chuckled and then started singing "What a guy. Makes you cry. Unt I did!" and sis asked me, with a tiny hint of lust-tinged tremolo in her voice "So, who is this Tim Curry anyway? Has he been in anything else?" ...And I knew that everything would be OK.
Fast forward several years to New Year's Eve 1981. I had just broken up with a bf whose style was to waltz into my life and remain there intensely for several months, then disappear for the next six months, then re-appear. I got sick of it eventually, and the next time he appeared on my doorstep I sent him packing, never to return. It was the right thing to do, and I kept telling myself how mature and wise I was being, and how my unwillingness to tolerate being jerked around in such a manner demonstrated an admirably high level of self-esteem on my part... But, damn! I was hurting, and feeling very lonely in my bed, and it was New Year's Fucking Eve, and I didn't know what to do with the honking great shitload of pain, and then I got a phone call from another former bf.
[... this being the first big Relationship of my life ... the person I'd lost my virginity to... the guy I'd lived with for 4 years ... the guy who, after 3 years of living together sat down with me and carefully informed me that, altho he loved me, he had another side that he needed to explore and learn about and try to understand, and suddenly I realized why he had started going for walks around nearby Lake Calhoun at three in the AM.]
So. Former bf, to whom I referred always by his initials DAPJ, or just "D", had just been dumped by his lover, the guy he'd been living with for the past two years. He was, like me, feeling lost and hurt and alone. D and I were friends before we were lovers, and when we split up we re-affirmed our eternal friendship and love, and vowed to always be there for each other whenever the need should arise. Now, here it was New Year's Eve 1981, and the need had arisen.
We decided to go eat chicken almond ding and mooshu pork at Port Arthur and then go see the double feature at the Uptown: the 1939 "Lost Horizon" and "It's A Wonderful Life". This was at the time when the craze for "It's a Wonderful Life" was just starting; I remembered reading a New Yorker article about people who were having "It's a Wonderful Life"- viewing parties and I'd never heard of the movie before.
So, first came "Lost Horizon", which was swell. Still eerie after all these years; and still a thrilling moment when Ronald Colman finally makes it back to the pass high in the Himalayas and crosses over to blissfully disappear forever back to Shangri-La. You could hear a collective, satisfied sigh from the Uptown audience. It was a full house, with a palpable feeling of shared joy and camaraderie. It felt like the whole place was filled with like-minded kindred souls, society's orphans on New Year's Eve, banding together for warmth on a cold winter's night.
Then came "It's a Wonderful Life" and it was a revelation; we'd never seen it before. Everybody laughed during Uncle Billy's "I'm all right, I'm AL-L-L RIGHT" and then recognized with delight that Bert the cop and Ernie the cabdriver were, of course, BERT and ERNIE! Many of us wept as Jimmy Stewart stood on the bridge crying "I want to live again! I want to live!"
Afterwards we emerged from the theater to find that a beautiful light snow was falling. As everybody in the audience lived in the neighborhood, there were a couple hundred of us walking home together, on the quiet, snowy sidewalks in the moonlight at 2 AM on New Year's Day. As we walked D and I linked arms with three other people and we all sang:
"Buffalo gals won't you come out tonight,
Won't you come out tonight,
Won't you come out tonight.
Buffalo gals won't you come out tonight
A-a-a-a-n-d
Dance by the light of the moon"
We felt whole; we felt healed; we felt bathed in warmth and fellowship and love.
And that's why I'll always love the Uptown. But, here in the year 2005, I'm telling you: if you're in the Twin Cities and you want to go to a movie -- go to the Riverview.
The cost of a ticket at the Riverview is $2 for shows before 6 PM. After 6 the price soars to an astronomical $3. Still, throwing all economy and prudence to the winds, a full house showed up Friday evening for "National Treasure". A lot of diversity: families; little kids; couples on dates; old folks; goths; bikers; people of all gender preferences and orientations and a multitude of ethnicities. Everybody friendly and out for a good time, and that's exactly what was had by all.
Big comfy seats, lots of legroom, state of the art sound system, carefully preserved original 1948 decor -- to quote the immortal Wavy Gravy: "We must be in Heaven, man!"
When the credits started rolling at the end of the movie, the entire audience applauded, and the applause was for having had a couple hours of pretty good entertainment at a great old movie house on a Friday night. When was the last time you experienced that at the local cineplex?
--Tild Dallelie
Thursday, February 24, 2005
Will the Real James Guckert Please Drop Trou....
So, Jeff Gannon gave an interview on the Today Show this morning.
It was quite an interesting little spectacle. And it was little. Quite short. Very edited.
I give Campbell Brown some props for having the wearwithall to sit in front of such a pompous fool and press him on the issue of his naked self on the Internet.
And for not cracking up when he insisted that the reason he used the name "Gannon" was because "Guckert" is, according to JG "difficult to pronounce."
JG was pretty uncomfortable being in CB's "hot seat," but that may have had to do with the fact that his shirt collar was so tight on that thick ole neck of his...I was surprised he could breathe.
Funny thing is, though, most people who work in the adult entertainment industry--whether as escorts, dancers, S/m dominants, or porn stars--usually work under pseudonymns. Supposedly "Gannon" is a pseudonymn and "Guckert" is his real last name....
All I can think of is: what a dope.
Perhaps, though, he didn't realize that adult entertainment isn't supposed to be reality. It is entertainment: a performance for someone else's benefit. The entertainer is contracted to act a role--usually a role he/she has personally chosen because he/she believes the role will be easy or because the role specifically does not project his/her true sexual orientation or proclivities.
Yet most people believe that if a sex perfomer chooses a role, than that is who the performer is. Most people cannot imagine performing sex, or something like sex, for money, if there is no interest in the types and kinds of acts one is engaging in.
That, though, is the strange quirk of sex industry work. And the people who are best at it are the people who keep their personal procliviteis to themselves. How may of us may have, at one time or another, met a female dancer who was a lesbian, or a male dancer who was straight.
Why might someone work a role opposed to one's sexuality? Some of that has to do with the very fine line between adult entertainment, lewd acts, and prostitution (the explanation of which is very complicated, and I won't get into here)....and some of it has to do with power. Some women enjoy being a "tease"....and some men enjoy being a "tease" as well.
Gucker's sites claim that he was a "dominant top"...and some men and women who play the role of "dominant top" are not that in real life...
Who really knows if JG is gay, submissive, Republican, or just a really big tease????
Be that as it may, I think there is one true way that we might be able to know whether or not Jeff Gannon is James Guckert...it requires a measuring tape and just a little bit of cooperation from the young man in question...;-)
--Tish G.
It was quite an interesting little spectacle. And it was little. Quite short. Very edited.
I give Campbell Brown some props for having the wearwithall to sit in front of such a pompous fool and press him on the issue of his naked self on the Internet.
And for not cracking up when he insisted that the reason he used the name "Gannon" was because "Guckert" is, according to JG "difficult to pronounce."
JG was pretty uncomfortable being in CB's "hot seat," but that may have had to do with the fact that his shirt collar was so tight on that thick ole neck of his...I was surprised he could breathe.
Funny thing is, though, most people who work in the adult entertainment industry--whether as escorts, dancers, S/m dominants, or porn stars--usually work under pseudonymns. Supposedly "Gannon" is a pseudonymn and "Guckert" is his real last name....
All I can think of is: what a dope.
Perhaps, though, he didn't realize that adult entertainment isn't supposed to be reality. It is entertainment: a performance for someone else's benefit. The entertainer is contracted to act a role--usually a role he/she has personally chosen because he/she believes the role will be easy or because the role specifically does not project his/her true sexual orientation or proclivities.
Yet most people believe that if a sex perfomer chooses a role, than that is who the performer is. Most people cannot imagine performing sex, or something like sex, for money, if there is no interest in the types and kinds of acts one is engaging in.
That, though, is the strange quirk of sex industry work. And the people who are best at it are the people who keep their personal procliviteis to themselves. How may of us may have, at one time or another, met a female dancer who was a lesbian, or a male dancer who was straight.
Why might someone work a role opposed to one's sexuality? Some of that has to do with the very fine line between adult entertainment, lewd acts, and prostitution (the explanation of which is very complicated, and I won't get into here)....and some of it has to do with power. Some women enjoy being a "tease"....and some men enjoy being a "tease" as well.
Gucker's sites claim that he was a "dominant top"...and some men and women who play the role of "dominant top" are not that in real life...
Who really knows if JG is gay, submissive, Republican, or just a really big tease????
Be that as it may, I think there is one true way that we might be able to know whether or not Jeff Gannon is James Guckert...it requires a measuring tape and just a little bit of cooperation from the young man in question...;-)
--Tish G.
Tuesday, February 22, 2005
Attacking the Arctic and the Aged
They're winding up for that powerful right cross -- that maiming Right Double Cross.
SNEAK ATTACK #1.
Right now, the oil industry’s allies in Congress are plotting a sneak attack on the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge. In the next two weeks, oil industry allies in the House and Senate will try a backdoor trick to pass the controversial proposal to drill for oil in the Arctic Refuge by inserting it into the federal budget bill.
See the website of the Defenders of Wildlife to get a succinct explanation of why drilling for oil in the arctic is not as benign an effort as the oil industry and its flunkies would have you think.
Lend your voice to the those who are trying to stop this sneaky maneuver and save the Arctic Refuge! Click here send a free message to your members of Congress urging them to do everything they can to stop drilling in the Arctic!
And, while you have the Arctic on your mind, check out my Alaskan blogger friend's blog -- Klondike Kate's Aurora
SNEAK ATTACK #2
The lobbying group that orchestrated the Swift Boat guys' misinformation-filled attack on John Kerry is now after the AARP, using the same kind of sleazy tactics and a war chest of $10 million. It's all part of the political ultra-Right's plan to support Bush's intention to privatize Social Security -- an effort that erroneously claims that there is a crisis. But there is no crisis.
(Just like there were no Weapons of Mass Destruction.)
The American Spectator website is running a sleazy and untruthful ad about the AARP in order to discredit its support of maintaining an strengthening the current Social Security system.
Now, I don't always agree with how the AARP sets its positions on issues -- just like I didn't agree with all of Kerry's approaches.
BUT in both cases, I looked at the bigger picture and how close they were to my positions on issues AND I totally resent the evil methods that thr Right uses to launch their attacks on those issues.
Such is the case with AARP and Social Security.
Watch out for that Right Double Cross.
SNEAK ATTACK #1.
Right now, the oil industry’s allies in Congress are plotting a sneak attack on the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge. In the next two weeks, oil industry allies in the House and Senate will try a backdoor trick to pass the controversial proposal to drill for oil in the Arctic Refuge by inserting it into the federal budget bill.
See the website of the Defenders of Wildlife to get a succinct explanation of why drilling for oil in the arctic is not as benign an effort as the oil industry and its flunkies would have you think.
Lend your voice to the those who are trying to stop this sneaky maneuver and save the Arctic Refuge! Click here send a free message to your members of Congress urging them to do everything they can to stop drilling in the Arctic!
And, while you have the Arctic on your mind, check out my Alaskan blogger friend's blog -- Klondike Kate's Aurora
SNEAK ATTACK #2
The lobbying group that orchestrated the Swift Boat guys' misinformation-filled attack on John Kerry is now after the AARP, using the same kind of sleazy tactics and a war chest of $10 million. It's all part of the political ultra-Right's plan to support Bush's intention to privatize Social Security -- an effort that erroneously claims that there is a crisis. But there is no crisis.
(Just like there were no Weapons of Mass Destruction.)
The American Spectator website is running a sleazy and untruthful ad about the AARP in order to discredit its support of maintaining an strengthening the current Social Security system.
Now, I don't always agree with how the AARP sets its positions on issues -- just like I didn't agree with all of Kerry's approaches.
BUT in both cases, I looked at the bigger picture and how close they were to my positions on issues AND I totally resent the evil methods that thr Right uses to launch their attacks on those issues.
Such is the case with AARP and Social Security.
Watch out for that Right Double Cross.
Monday, February 21, 2005
Uncle Duke's Legacy
If you think about it, Hunter S. Thompson, who shot himself to death over the weekend, could be considered Uncle Duke of all us bloggers.
Many of us who keep blogs aren't just journalling for posterity. We write commentary beyond the mundaine and trivial events of our boring lives--commentary that encompasses politics, social issues, media and entertainment--and are, in effect, doing some minor form of Hunter's "gonzo journalism." In our own ways, we report on the world with our personalities rather than with the cold objectivity that was considered the hallmark of journalism (although, today, with the advent of infotainment, objectivity in journalism and in MSM may be debatable).
So, here's to Uncle Duke....whereever he now may be....
--Tish G.
Many of us who keep blogs aren't just journalling for posterity. We write commentary beyond the mundaine and trivial events of our boring lives--commentary that encompasses politics, social issues, media and entertainment--and are, in effect, doing some minor form of Hunter's "gonzo journalism." In our own ways, we report on the world with our personalities rather than with the cold objectivity that was considered the hallmark of journalism (although, today, with the advent of infotainment, objectivity in journalism and in MSM may be debatable).
So, here's to Uncle Duke....whereever he now may be....
--Tish G.
Sunday, February 20, 2005
President's Day Fairy Tale
Once upon a time, in the County of the Kings there was a pretty maiden of Irish and English descent. Sally was the daughter of a widowed mariner, fair of hair with eyes of blue. During the reign of Eisenhower she fell in love with a Hellenic American young man who had recently returned from the Korean War. His name was John, and he was the son of a widowed merchant. Not a Greek god, but a Greek grocer. He was dark and handsome, but not tall at all.
Their families were pleased with the match, and they soon married.
Two years later, their first child was born. It was a girl. When Sally laid eyes on the child, she was certain that a mistake had been made. Sally was accustomed to pale Celtic babies, not this squalling red faced Mediterranean infant with pitch black hair. Eventually she was convinced that, yes, this was their daughter. The young parents had planned to name the child Karen if it was a girl. However, Sally was in a room with a woman who had just named her baby Laura. The potions given to new mothers in those days were potent - and Sally decided that maybe they should call their girl Laura, too. Fortunately, John was able to remind her that Karen was to be the name. And so it was... and so it is.
Happy Birthday to me on Monday. To those of you fortunate enough to have a day off - enjoy it!
And this is why the people in the US are celebrating with a three day weekend. Well, not really - but it's better than Presidents Day to me. I can celebrate the meeting of my parents, their love, their marriage and my birth.
Also posted at:
Their families were pleased with the match, and they soon married.
Two years later, their first child was born. It was a girl. When Sally laid eyes on the child, she was certain that a mistake had been made. Sally was accustomed to pale Celtic babies, not this squalling red faced Mediterranean infant with pitch black hair. Eventually she was convinced that, yes, this was their daughter. The young parents had planned to name the child Karen if it was a girl. However, Sally was in a room with a woman who had just named her baby Laura. The potions given to new mothers in those days were potent - and Sally decided that maybe they should call their girl Laura, too. Fortunately, John was able to remind her that Karen was to be the name. And so it was... and so it is.
Happy Birthday to me on Monday. To those of you fortunate enough to have a day off - enjoy it!
And this is why the people in the US are celebrating with a three day weekend. Well, not really - but it's better than Presidents Day to me. I can celebrate the meeting of my parents, their love, their marriage and my birth.
Also posted at:
Saturday, February 19, 2005
Saturday Sickblogging
My home -- the isolated, fortified family compound known as Tildebunkport-- has turned into one big infirmary. What follows is a listing of the residents, their respective illnesses and prescribed treatments.
I'm sick of the news, sick of surfing, sick of blogging and sick of the internets in general, so I decided to waste the entire afternoon doctoring up old magazine ads. Here is my total output for the day. And yes, I am kind of pleased with how it turned out. Heh.
- Tild -- Bronchial infection; laryngitis. Zithromax; Tesselon perles; Paintshop Pro. The internets. Perfect Peach herb tea.
- Leland "Buzz" [aka Mr. Tild] -- Strep throat. Penicillin VK; ibuprofen; salt water gargles; season one of "Deadwood" on DVD; rainbow sherbet.
- SETU [Surly Elder Teenaged Unit] -- Severe bronchial infection; laryngitis. Augmentin; Cough syrup with codeine; Desert Combat; The Shinns; leftover Leeann Chin potstickers.
- SYTU [Surly Younger Teenaged Unit] -- Inexplicable health. Fruity Dyno-bites; 7-UP Plus; "El Mariachi" trilogy; Futurama. Ipod.
I'm sick of the news, sick of surfing, sick of blogging and sick of the internets in general, so I decided to waste the entire afternoon doctoring up old magazine ads. Here is my total output for the day. And yes, I am kind of pleased with how it turned out. Heh.
This post can also be found over here, with all the sick folks.
Friday, February 18, 2005
..and still more on the trouble with Gannon....
Here's a short little bit on AlterNet that gives more wonderful reasons why we should care about the Jeff Gannon debacle.
And when you read the artcle, be sure to check out the link to Frank Rich's piece in the New York Times. It's about time someone who's in "it" noticed that the News is, in its own way, no longer News at all.
With the White House openly using taxpayer money to fuel their right-wing propaganda machine, the line between infotainment and news becomes more blurry and more troubling than it was just a short while ago.
Tish G
(I've got a few other things besides Jeff Gannon on my mind...read them here)
And when you read the artcle, be sure to check out the link to Frank Rich's piece in the New York Times. It's about time someone who's in "it" noticed that the News is, in its own way, no longer News at all.
With the White House openly using taxpayer money to fuel their right-wing propaganda machine, the line between infotainment and news becomes more blurry and more troubling than it was just a short while ago.
Tish G
(I've got a few other things besides Jeff Gannon on my mind...read them here)
Sunday, February 13, 2005
Mad Kane Applies For White House Press Credentials
Now that "Jeff Gannon" has fled the White House press scene, I figured that Scotty McClellan & Co. could use some new media blood. And being totally unqualified for the gig, I decided to apply for White House press credentials. My "Dear Scotty" letter begins:
I've always fantasized about being a White House correspondent. But until now, I've never sought so lofty a position because -- silly me -- I assumed you had to be an actual journalist.
Now that I know otherwise, please consider this my application for White House press credentials. Of course, I know that being Bush's chief media guy and all, approving press applications doesn't fall into your job description. But I'd be mighty grateful if you'd pass this on to whoever screens these things.
The janitor, perhaps? Or maybe the White House chef? One of the Bush twins? Or is it the new Bush family dog that just got out of obedience school...
The rest of my White House press credentials application is here.
I've always fantasized about being a White House correspondent. But until now, I've never sought so lofty a position because -- silly me -- I assumed you had to be an actual journalist.
Now that I know otherwise, please consider this my application for White House press credentials. Of course, I know that being Bush's chief media guy and all, approving press applications doesn't fall into your job description. But I'd be mighty grateful if you'd pass this on to whoever screens these things.
The janitor, perhaps? Or maybe the White House chef? One of the Bush twins? Or is it the new Bush family dog that just got out of obedience school...
The rest of my White House press credentials application is here.
Nostalgia and Regret
Last night the local PBS affiliate broadcast a recently taped Electric Light Orchestra concert.
Listening to their old songs produced a serious fit of nostalgia in me. This morning, I rooted thru my collection of old 45 rpm records, some in pristine condition, found a bunch from the mid '70's (my formative teen-age years), cranked up the old stereo....and got to thinking....
How may of us end up having very mixed emotions when we walk down memory lane?
I go thru serious paroxisms of "coulda-woulda-shoulda" when I play songs from my misspent youth. It often takes a bit for me to get back to the realization that life is what it is and the decisions I made at that time were the best I could with the faulty and inaccurate life information given to me.
And, actually, the current totalty of life hasn't been completely misspent. It's been unusual, and not what most people's lives are like, but, damn! I've learned some interesting stuff and gained a great deal of wisdom in the process.
Perhaps I should put away the ELO and start listening to the Black Eyed Peas. I'm 44, but my life isn't over yet.
--Tish G
(for more on the effects of nostalgia on forgiveness, go here)
Listening to their old songs produced a serious fit of nostalgia in me. This morning, I rooted thru my collection of old 45 rpm records, some in pristine condition, found a bunch from the mid '70's (my formative teen-age years), cranked up the old stereo....and got to thinking....
How may of us end up having very mixed emotions when we walk down memory lane?
I go thru serious paroxisms of "coulda-woulda-shoulda" when I play songs from my misspent youth. It often takes a bit for me to get back to the realization that life is what it is and the decisions I made at that time were the best I could with the faulty and inaccurate life information given to me.
And, actually, the current totalty of life hasn't been completely misspent. It's been unusual, and not what most people's lives are like, but, damn! I've learned some interesting stuff and gained a great deal of wisdom in the process.
Perhaps I should put away the ELO and start listening to the Black Eyed Peas. I'm 44, but my life isn't over yet.
--Tish G
(for more on the effects of nostalgia on forgiveness, go here)
Wednesday, February 09, 2005
A Confluence of Significant Events
In case y'all didn't look at the calendar this morning, today is Chinese New Year. It's the Year of the Rooster--or, more appropriately the Chicken, since in Chinese astrology it is a female year. From what I've read, technically, it is a Green Wood Chicken Year.
It is also Ash Wendesday, the first day of Lent. So, if you haven't given up something yet, you still have time. If your still a semi-practicing Catholic, you might also want to consider eating fish if you find walking around with smudgy ashes on your head a bit too embarassing.
There are also 5 more shopping days left 'till Valentine's Day...for those who are counting in anticipation or are dreadding (in anticipation).
It's also the official First Day of the New Moon.
Whew! I think I've covered it all. That's alot of karmic stuff for one day! If I missed anything, let me know.
Tish G.
(this, and other musings on how to give up stuff like porn and chocolate for Lent, as well as the evils of pork rinds, can be read here on her blog)
It is also Ash Wendesday, the first day of Lent. So, if you haven't given up something yet, you still have time. If your still a semi-practicing Catholic, you might also want to consider eating fish if you find walking around with smudgy ashes on your head a bit too embarassing.
There are also 5 more shopping days left 'till Valentine's Day...for those who are counting in anticipation or are dreadding (in anticipation).
It's also the official First Day of the New Moon.
Whew! I think I've covered it all. That's alot of karmic stuff for one day! If I missed anything, let me know.
Tish G.
(this, and other musings on how to give up stuff like porn and chocolate for Lent, as well as the evils of pork rinds, can be read here on her blog)
Sunday, February 06, 2005
Conservatives Finally Hearing the F-Word
In the February 14 issue of The American Conservative, Scott McConnell writes:
That's right, Scott. That IS the sound of goose-stepping jackboots. Those ARE brownshirts. Even tho McConnell is apparently still clueless enough to think that America's move towards fascism "has gone almost completely unremarked, and even unnoticed" --gosh, I wonder how David Neiwert or Laurence Britt would respond to that little statement -- there's no doubt that the scales are falling from our conservative friend Scott's eyes. Read the entire article, and afterwards see if you don't find your faith in the intelligence of the loyal opposition restored just a teeny bit. "Conservative" does NOT necessarily equal "Wingnut."
Hunger For Dictatorship
Thanks to AnonyMoses for the link.
Also posted at Tild~.
...The last weeks of 2004 saw several explicit warnings from the antiwar Right about the coming of an American fascism. Paul Craig Roberts in these pages wrote of the “brownshirting” of American conservatism—a word that might not have surprised had it come from Michael Moore or Michael Lerner. But from a Hoover Institution senior fellow, former assistant secretary of the Treasury in the Reagan administration, and one-time Wall Street Journal editor, it was striking.
Several weeks later, Justin Raimondo, editor of the popular Antiwar.com website, wrote a column headlined, “Today’s Conservatives are Fascists.” Pointing to the justification of torture by conservative legal theorists, widespread support for a militaristic foreign policy, and a retrospective backing of Japanese internment during World War II, Raimondo raised the prospect of “fascism with a democratic face.” His fellow libertarian, Mises Institute president Lew Rockwell, wrote a year-end piece called “The Reality of Red State Fascism,” which claimed that “the most significant socio-political shift in our time has gone almost completely unremarked, and even unnoticed. It is the dramatic shift of the red-state bourgeoisie from leave-us-alone libertarianism, manifested in the Congressional elections of 1994, to almost totalitarian statist nationalism. Whereas the conservative middle class once cheered the circumscribing of the federal government, it now celebrates power and adores the central state, particularly its military wing.”
That's right, Scott. That IS the sound of goose-stepping jackboots. Those ARE brownshirts. Even tho McConnell is apparently still clueless enough to think that America's move towards fascism "has gone almost completely unremarked, and even unnoticed" --gosh, I wonder how David Neiwert or Laurence Britt would respond to that little statement -- there's no doubt that the scales are falling from our conservative friend Scott's eyes. Read the entire article, and afterwards see if you don't find your faith in the intelligence of the loyal opposition restored just a teeny bit. "Conservative" does NOT necessarily equal "Wingnut."
Hunger For Dictatorship
Thanks to AnonyMoses for the link.
Also posted at Tild~.
Saturday, February 05, 2005
The Gonzales Vote in Verse
I've posted a poem about the Gonzales vote over at President Boxer. Here's how the post begins:
Liberal Oasis is disappointed with the Gonzales vote, and so am I. Okay, getting 36 votes against the Torture Maestro is far from awful. And yet:
The Gonzales Vote In Verse
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Gonzales was a test of sorts:
Can Democrats unite?
Most Senate Dems came through for us,
And fought for what was right.
But Lieberman sure let us down...
The rest of my Gonzales Vote in Verse is here.
Liberal Oasis is disappointed with the Gonzales vote, and so am I. Okay, getting 36 votes against the Torture Maestro is far from awful. And yet:
The Gonzales Vote In Verse
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Gonzales was a test of sorts:
Can Democrats unite?
Most Senate Dems came through for us,
And fought for what was right.
But Lieberman sure let us down...
The rest of my Gonzales Vote in Verse is here.
Wednesday, February 02, 2005
After Despair
Cross-posted at Goddessing and MatriFocus.
This past Sunday, I didn't go to one of my regular group meetings because I was deep into production of the Imbolc Issue of MatriFocus. I missed a learning activity on despair, facilitated by two group members who are long-time environmental activists, gardeners, and teachers of sustainability.
despair. c.1325, from O.Fr. desperer "lose hope, despair," from L. desperare "to despair," from de- "without" + sperare "to hope," from spes "hope" (see speed). Noun replaced native wanhope [want of hope].
and
hope. O.E. hopian "wish, expect, look forward (to something)," of unknown origin, a general Low Ger. word (cf. O.Fris. hopia, M.L.G., M.Du. hopen; M.H.G. hoffen "to hope" was borrowed from Low Ger. Some suggest a connection with hop (v.) on the notion of "leaping in expectation." (Online Etymology Dictionary)
I can't imagine that Sunday's work on despair wasn't inspired or informed by the work of Joanna Macy, an activist, teacher, deep ecologist, and systems thinker:
For the past twenty years, she has guided people through a process first called "despair and empowerment work" and now called the "Work that Reconnects." This work is generally conducted in workshops where group energy supports participants; it invites people into despair about the plight of the planet and the destructive course we are on. The work does not end there. Joanna uses exercises that strengthen the minds and hearts of participants for the struggles ahead. Through this work, participants transform their despair into compassionate action. (Personal Transformation)
It's interesting to see this progression of possibilities on the other side of despair: from hope, to empowerment, to compassionate action, to "solidarity and the courage to act," to "work that reconnects" (from her newest book, Coming Back to Life: Practices to Reconnect Our Lives, Our World).
Macy encourages folks to do despair work in groups, because we tend to think that despair is a personal problem that we must handle alone. She says:
I learned, when I began to work with groups 20 years ago, that despair arose in relation to something larger than individuals, personal circumstances. There is a complex of strong feelings that I call ingredients of despair. One is fear about the future based on what we’re doing to each other and to our planet. Another is anger that we are knowingly wasting the world for those who come after us, destroying the legacy of our ancestors. Guilt and sorrow are in the complex. People in every walk of life, from every culture, feel grief over the condition of the world. Despair is this constellation of different feelings. One person may feel more fear or anger, another sorrow, and another guilt, but the common thread is a suffering on behalf of the world or, as I put it, feeling 'pain for the world.' (ibid.)
So what do we do with this "suffering on behalf of the world"?
1. Find hope. As devastating as the Asian Quake Tsunami was, from a geological perspective, it gives us some reasons to hope.
"It's hard to find something uplifting about 150,000 lives being lost," said Dr. Donald J. DePaolo, a geochemist at the University of California, Berkeley. "But the type of geological process that caused the earthquake and the tsunami is an essential characteristic of the earth. As far as we know, it doesn't occur on any other planetary body and has something very directly to do with the fact that the earth is a habitable planet." (Quakes Renew the Planet)
And there's reason to hope that the December 26 tsunami may:
... "prove to be an ecological boon over the decades for coastal areas hardest hit by the giant waves." (ibid.)
Tsunamis enrich soil by distributing rich sediments from river systems across coastal plains and bringing fertile soil into lowland areas. While this will bring back no lives lost recently, it is fundamental to feeding future generations.
2. Chop wood, carry water. Begin again. Carry on.
Tsunamis and earthquakes have destroyed before and they will again. Thera, Crete, Atlantis. Some archaeologists argue that quakes are responsible for the downfall of the Harappan Civilization, the ends of the Bronze Age and the Mayan Classic Period. (Ancient Civilizations Shaken By Quakes)
Those who survive do what living creatures do. We carry on. We find food. We build shelters. We make love, have more children. We make community. One life does make a difference, and if the mitochondrial Eve theory is correct, human beings populate the planet today because of one woman's chances and choices 200 thousand years ago.
3. Reconnect with the divine. What's your preferred spiritual technology? Prayer? Meditation? Trance Dance? Solitary Magic? Group Ritual? A Walk in the Woods? Art-Making?
When and where do you feel most alive? Go there. Do that. Recharge.
4. Play. Remember the immortal words of Emma Goldman: "If I can't dance, I don't want to be part of your revolution." (Or was it: "If I can't dance to it, it's not my revolution.")
5. Do something about what causes despair. Macy says:
I’ve become convinced that, in part, people remain uninvolved because there are so many issues. They don’t know whether they should try to protect sea mammals or battered children or work for the climate. (Personal Transformation)
So just choose one thing, the issue you have the most passion for, and do what you can. We know that all of life is connected and can be confident that the pieces, large or small, that we do will affect and be affected by the work being done by others.
6. Don't go it alone. Macy says:
I think it’s a cardinal mistake to try to act alone. The myth of the rugged individual, riding as the Lone Ranger to save our society, is a sure recipe for going crazy. The response that is appropriate and that this work elicits is to grow a sense of solidarity with others and to elaborate a whole new sense of what our resources are and what our power is. (ibid.)
7. Stop stuffing your despair. Macy, again:
It takes tremendous energy to repress something so strong, which stems from our instinct to preserve life. Repressing our feelings of pain for the world isolates us, and can also drain us. When we allow ourselves to experience these feelings, we cease to fear them. We learn to turn them into strong solidarity with all beings. (ibid.)
This past Sunday, I didn't go to one of my regular group meetings because I was deep into production of the Imbolc Issue of MatriFocus. I missed a learning activity on despair, facilitated by two group members who are long-time environmental activists, gardeners, and teachers of sustainability.
despair. c.1325, from O.Fr. desperer "lose hope, despair," from L. desperare "to despair," from de- "without" + sperare "to hope," from spes "hope" (see speed). Noun replaced native wanhope [want of hope].
and
hope. O.E. hopian "wish, expect, look forward (to something)," of unknown origin, a general Low Ger. word (cf. O.Fris. hopia, M.L.G., M.Du. hopen; M.H.G. hoffen "to hope" was borrowed from Low Ger. Some suggest a connection with hop (v.) on the notion of "leaping in expectation." (Online Etymology Dictionary)
I can't imagine that Sunday's work on despair wasn't inspired or informed by the work of Joanna Macy, an activist, teacher, deep ecologist, and systems thinker:
For the past twenty years, she has guided people through a process first called "despair and empowerment work" and now called the "Work that Reconnects." This work is generally conducted in workshops where group energy supports participants; it invites people into despair about the plight of the planet and the destructive course we are on. The work does not end there. Joanna uses exercises that strengthen the minds and hearts of participants for the struggles ahead. Through this work, participants transform their despair into compassionate action. (Personal Transformation)
It's interesting to see this progression of possibilities on the other side of despair: from hope, to empowerment, to compassionate action, to "solidarity and the courage to act," to "work that reconnects" (from her newest book, Coming Back to Life: Practices to Reconnect Our Lives, Our World).
Macy encourages folks to do despair work in groups, because we tend to think that despair is a personal problem that we must handle alone. She says:
I learned, when I began to work with groups 20 years ago, that despair arose in relation to something larger than individuals, personal circumstances. There is a complex of strong feelings that I call ingredients of despair. One is fear about the future based on what we’re doing to each other and to our planet. Another is anger that we are knowingly wasting the world for those who come after us, destroying the legacy of our ancestors. Guilt and sorrow are in the complex. People in every walk of life, from every culture, feel grief over the condition of the world. Despair is this constellation of different feelings. One person may feel more fear or anger, another sorrow, and another guilt, but the common thread is a suffering on behalf of the world or, as I put it, feeling 'pain for the world.' (ibid.)
So what do we do with this "suffering on behalf of the world"?
1. Find hope. As devastating as the Asian Quake Tsunami was, from a geological perspective, it gives us some reasons to hope.
"It's hard to find something uplifting about 150,000 lives being lost," said Dr. Donald J. DePaolo, a geochemist at the University of California, Berkeley. "But the type of geological process that caused the earthquake and the tsunami is an essential characteristic of the earth. As far as we know, it doesn't occur on any other planetary body and has something very directly to do with the fact that the earth is a habitable planet." (Quakes Renew the Planet)
And there's reason to hope that the December 26 tsunami may:
... "prove to be an ecological boon over the decades for coastal areas hardest hit by the giant waves." (ibid.)
Tsunamis enrich soil by distributing rich sediments from river systems across coastal plains and bringing fertile soil into lowland areas. While this will bring back no lives lost recently, it is fundamental to feeding future generations.
2. Chop wood, carry water. Begin again. Carry on.
Tsunamis and earthquakes have destroyed before and they will again. Thera, Crete, Atlantis. Some archaeologists argue that quakes are responsible for the downfall of the Harappan Civilization, the ends of the Bronze Age and the Mayan Classic Period. (Ancient Civilizations Shaken By Quakes)
Those who survive do what living creatures do. We carry on. We find food. We build shelters. We make love, have more children. We make community. One life does make a difference, and if the mitochondrial Eve theory is correct, human beings populate the planet today because of one woman's chances and choices 200 thousand years ago.
3. Reconnect with the divine. What's your preferred spiritual technology? Prayer? Meditation? Trance Dance? Solitary Magic? Group Ritual? A Walk in the Woods? Art-Making?
When and where do you feel most alive? Go there. Do that. Recharge.
4. Play. Remember the immortal words of Emma Goldman: "If I can't dance, I don't want to be part of your revolution." (Or was it: "If I can't dance to it, it's not my revolution.")
5. Do something about what causes despair. Macy says:
I’ve become convinced that, in part, people remain uninvolved because there are so many issues. They don’t know whether they should try to protect sea mammals or battered children or work for the climate. (Personal Transformation)
So just choose one thing, the issue you have the most passion for, and do what you can. We know that all of life is connected and can be confident that the pieces, large or small, that we do will affect and be affected by the work being done by others.
6. Don't go it alone. Macy says:
I think it’s a cardinal mistake to try to act alone. The myth of the rugged individual, riding as the Lone Ranger to save our society, is a sure recipe for going crazy. The response that is appropriate and that this work elicits is to grow a sense of solidarity with others and to elaborate a whole new sense of what our resources are and what our power is. (ibid.)
7. Stop stuffing your despair. Macy, again:
It takes tremendous energy to repress something so strong, which stems from our instinct to preserve life. Repressing our feelings of pain for the world isolates us, and can also drain us. When we allow ourselves to experience these feelings, we cease to fear them. We learn to turn them into strong solidarity with all beings. (ibid.)
Tuesday, February 01, 2005
Would you pay for it?
In the new movie "The Wedding Date" Deborah Messing plays a young professional woman who hires a male escort (played by Dermot Mulroney) to be her date for a friend's wedding. The reason for hiring a date is that her former fiance is the Best Man and she does not want to look like a loser. And, by the end, she redeems the male escort and makes an honest man out of him.
Now, men have been hiring escorts of some stripe pretty much forever. Usually it's because they want no strings attached or are so massivly dysfunctional that they cannot maintain a true intimate relationship. So, what does this say for women? Is it a matter of "you go sister!" or have we come to the point where we are so desperate that we must ape the pathetic behavior of dysfunctional men?
I'm sorry, but I could never pay a man to escort me anywhere, not matter how old I get or no matter how much I might need a date. And IMHO, when a woman begins to pay for it, she is not saying she has power but is admitting that she finds herself so unappealing that she cannot get a guy unless she pays for a man to pretned that he likes her. And that is seriously pathetic.
I wonder when the American mind will be able to grasp that any sort of pay-for-play interaction is merely a performance on the part of the person being paid? And that it takes a heck of alot to perform that you are attracted to someone.
I know of dude by the name of Desmond, who is a male escort and hires himself out as a "professional ravisher." Pretty funny actually. and I can't imagine anyone needing to pay some dude to "ravish" her. How much fun could this be if you know that he is performing the part and might be thinking about baseball or car racing or another woman (or even another man)while he is putting on a performance for you?
So, I'm wondering...am I wrong in thinking that women wind up looking pathetic if they are paying men for sexual services? Or is this some bizaare wave of the future?
--Tish G.
Now, men have been hiring escorts of some stripe pretty much forever. Usually it's because they want no strings attached or are so massivly dysfunctional that they cannot maintain a true intimate relationship. So, what does this say for women? Is it a matter of "you go sister!" or have we come to the point where we are so desperate that we must ape the pathetic behavior of dysfunctional men?
I'm sorry, but I could never pay a man to escort me anywhere, not matter how old I get or no matter how much I might need a date. And IMHO, when a woman begins to pay for it, she is not saying she has power but is admitting that she finds herself so unappealing that she cannot get a guy unless she pays for a man to pretned that he likes her. And that is seriously pathetic.
I wonder when the American mind will be able to grasp that any sort of pay-for-play interaction is merely a performance on the part of the person being paid? And that it takes a heck of alot to perform that you are attracted to someone.
I know of dude by the name of Desmond, who is a male escort and hires himself out as a "professional ravisher." Pretty funny actually. and I can't imagine anyone needing to pay some dude to "ravish" her. How much fun could this be if you know that he is performing the part and might be thinking about baseball or car racing or another woman (or even another man)while he is putting on a performance for you?
So, I'm wondering...am I wrong in thinking that women wind up looking pathetic if they are paying men for sexual services? Or is this some bizaare wave of the future?
--Tish G.
Sunday, January 30, 2005
My Blog, My Self
So, you might have noticed that there's been a change or two recently regarding the picture that's displayed in my blog's header.
A few weeks back, the blog was chugging along with the header graphic I chose on New Year's Day, a bit of commercial art from the forties named "Who me?". It's nice; I like it; it's just fine. Problem was that by the third week in January I was bored with it. I decided I'd change to something else for February. Hey yeah, that's it: I'll change the header picture every month. So, what should I put up for February?
First I went, as I often do, to a very cool site called World Wide Retro, which has mass quantities of clip art, pinups, pulp covers, vintage erotica, etc etc. Gacked an item or two, including this nifty cover of Flirt magazine from, oh I dunno, probably the forties, don't think it could be from later than the very early fifties. Look at it. It's gorgeous. Somebody painted a pinup of a very curvy redhead wearing a tight sweater, a skirt that seems to be falling off, nylons with very visible garters, and not much else. Except earmuffs, because it's cold, you see? It's February! It says so right in the top righthand corner. This also explains why Curvy Red is sitting on a radiator. Lastly, she's giving us that pouty, clueless, requisite pinup look. You can almost hear her saying:
Oh you mean like putting on long pants and a parka and some fur-lined boots?! Well, where's the fun in that? This is not serious art. It was never meant to last through all eternity. It's a little cheesecake for the cover of a magazine called "Flirt" , fer cryin out loud. I just love it. I think Curvy Red's a knockout.
Knowing, as you probably do by now if you've read my blog for any length of time, that I'm constantly honing what I laughably call "my skills" with Paintshop Pro and Photoshop and MS Paint, you won't be surprised to read that I altered Curvy Red's pic a little bit -- here's my paintshopped version -- and put it up as my new header picture. Woo hoo! I was very happy with the whole thing. For about a day.
I wish I could tell you that I received lots of feedback about the new pic from many of my regular readers. I actually do have some regular readers out there. You know who you are. The truth is that I didn't receive lots of feedback. To be precise, I didn't get any feedback at all. Well OK, you say. Everybody probably thought the picture was nice and went on with their lives. No big whoop. So what's the problem?
I'll tell you what's the problem. The problem's me. Every time I looked at my Curvy Red header picture I felt twinges of anxiety. What is my blog header picture saying about me? What am I saying about me? Am I saying that I look like Curvy Red? Am I saying that's me sitting on a radiator like a complete idiot in my suburban Minnesota home in February 2005, displaying a creamy expanse of thigh with the fuck-me-now garters and wearing the Little Annie Fanny expression?
[Jebus H Christ the Baron Krauss Von Espy! she exclaims, invoking Coen Brothers phraseology as she so often does in times of horror or astonishment, when no other filmmakers' dialogue is adequate.]
Oh come now, you say. People who read blogs are an intelligent, cosmopolitan group, fully capable of discerning multiple nuances of meaning in all aspects of life including blog graphics. People who can't, don't read blogs. Or, not my blog anyway. People like that are probably all Freepers, and therefore only allegedly people, so to hell with 'em.
Okay, but what about the fact that I chose the pinup picture because I like it? A minute ago I was saying that I think Curvy Red's gorgeous. A knockout. Is this a long-hidden lesbian persona of mine coming to the fore? Well, no. Because I don't have a lesbian persona, hidden or otherwise. Really. I'm just plain boring old hetero me. Nothing to see here, folks. I'm not the dyke you're looking for. Move along. Do you think it's impossible for a woman to find a female pinup attractive or appealing or just plain sexy and yet not have a homosexual orientation? If you do, please please PLEASE take my word for it: it's possible.
But if I did have a lesbian aspect would that be so bad? I have often thought about a photo I once saw of a woman marching in a gay pride parade somewhere. She carried a sign that said I AM NOT GAY BUT THESE ARE MY FRIENDS. Nice sentiment. Solidarity and all that. It's a message we all need to see -- that gays and straights can and do coexist in the world in friendship and love. But at the same time I looked on that woman as a coward. Well-intentioned, but still a coward. What if she just marched in the parade without her sign? What would happen then? Would some spectators think that she must be gay? Probably. And what would be so bad about that?
There's a true litmus test for us all.
Anyway, back to my discomfort with the Curvy Red pinup picture in my blog header. What to do? What to do?
A) I leave it there, because I'm a rational adult and even tho the picture is what it is, I know that I'm not a deliciously pneumatic tart sending out a come-hither message to guys and gals everywhere. To be exact, I am a 52-year old woman living and blogging in America in the year 2005. Some other words that describe me are: white; fat; and pretty much asexual.
Or B) I change the picture to something else; to an image that's safely in my comfort zone.
To see what I decided, go on over to Tild~ and take a look.
A few weeks back, the blog was chugging along with the header graphic I chose on New Year's Day, a bit of commercial art from the forties named "Who me?". It's nice; I like it; it's just fine. Problem was that by the third week in January I was bored with it. I decided I'd change to something else for February. Hey yeah, that's it: I'll change the header picture every month. So, what should I put up for February?
First I went, as I often do, to a very cool site called World Wide Retro, which has mass quantities of clip art, pinups, pulp covers, vintage erotica, etc etc. Gacked an item or two, including this nifty cover of Flirt magazine from, oh I dunno, probably the forties, don't think it could be from later than the very early fifties. Look at it. It's gorgeous. Somebody painted a pinup of a very curvy redhead wearing a tight sweater, a skirt that seems to be falling off, nylons with very visible garters, and not much else. Except earmuffs, because it's cold, you see? It's February! It says so right in the top righthand corner. This also explains why Curvy Red is sitting on a radiator. Lastly, she's giving us that pouty, clueless, requisite pinup look. You can almost hear her saying:
Gee, I'm so cold! WhatEVER can I possibly DO to warm up?
Oh you mean like putting on long pants and a parka and some fur-lined boots?! Well, where's the fun in that? This is not serious art. It was never meant to last through all eternity. It's a little cheesecake for the cover of a magazine called "Flirt" , fer cryin out loud. I just love it. I think Curvy Red's a knockout.
Knowing, as you probably do by now if you've read my blog for any length of time, that I'm constantly honing what I laughably call "my skills" with Paintshop Pro and Photoshop and MS Paint, you won't be surprised to read that I altered Curvy Red's pic a little bit -- here's my paintshopped version -- and put it up as my new header picture. Woo hoo! I was very happy with the whole thing. For about a day.
I wish I could tell you that I received lots of feedback about the new pic from many of my regular readers. I actually do have some regular readers out there. You know who you are. The truth is that I didn't receive lots of feedback. To be precise, I didn't get any feedback at all. Well OK, you say. Everybody probably thought the picture was nice and went on with their lives. No big whoop. So what's the problem?
I'll tell you what's the problem. The problem's me. Every time I looked at my Curvy Red header picture I felt twinges of anxiety. What is my blog header picture saying about me? What am I saying about me? Am I saying that I look like Curvy Red? Am I saying that's me sitting on a radiator like a complete idiot in my suburban Minnesota home in February 2005, displaying a creamy expanse of thigh with the fuck-me-now garters and wearing the Little Annie Fanny expression?
[Jebus H Christ the Baron Krauss Von Espy! she exclaims, invoking Coen Brothers phraseology as she so often does in times of horror or astonishment, when no other filmmakers' dialogue is adequate.]
Oh come now, you say. People who read blogs are an intelligent, cosmopolitan group, fully capable of discerning multiple nuances of meaning in all aspects of life including blog graphics. People who can't, don't read blogs. Or, not my blog anyway. People like that are probably all Freepers, and therefore only allegedly people, so to hell with 'em.
Okay, but what about the fact that I chose the pinup picture because I like it? A minute ago I was saying that I think Curvy Red's gorgeous. A knockout. Is this a long-hidden lesbian persona of mine coming to the fore? Well, no. Because I don't have a lesbian persona, hidden or otherwise. Really. I'm just plain boring old hetero me. Nothing to see here, folks. I'm not the dyke you're looking for. Move along. Do you think it's impossible for a woman to find a female pinup attractive or appealing or just plain sexy and yet not have a homosexual orientation? If you do, please please PLEASE take my word for it: it's possible.
But if I did have a lesbian aspect would that be so bad? I have often thought about a photo I once saw of a woman marching in a gay pride parade somewhere. She carried a sign that said I AM NOT GAY BUT THESE ARE MY FRIENDS. Nice sentiment. Solidarity and all that. It's a message we all need to see -- that gays and straights can and do coexist in the world in friendship and love. But at the same time I looked on that woman as a coward. Well-intentioned, but still a coward. What if she just marched in the parade without her sign? What would happen then? Would some spectators think that she must be gay? Probably. And what would be so bad about that?
There's a true litmus test for us all.
Anyway, back to my discomfort with the Curvy Red pinup picture in my blog header. What to do? What to do?
A) I leave it there, because I'm a rational adult and even tho the picture is what it is, I know that I'm not a deliciously pneumatic tart sending out a come-hither message to guys and gals everywhere. To be exact, I am a 52-year old woman living and blogging in America in the year 2005. Some other words that describe me are: white; fat; and pretty much asexual.
Or B) I change the picture to something else; to an image that's safely in my comfort zone.
To see what I decided, go on over to Tild~ and take a look.
Thursday, January 27, 2005
A Call for Causes
Jeneane, Roxanne, and myself are looking for new Burning Issues to feature in the Blog Sisters sidebar. We would like to encourage you to send us info on any causes in your area you think are worthy of attention & linkage (and hopefully some spare $).
We would like to rotate that particular column several times throughout the upcoming year, so don't be shy. Tell us what's burning you. Feel free to use the comments or email one of us with your favourite cause.
We would like to rotate that particular column several times throughout the upcoming year, so don't be shy. Tell us what's burning you. Feel free to use the comments or email one of us with your favourite cause.
Wednesday, January 26, 2005
New Site Design
Hi everybody,
As you can probably see already, Blog Sisters has been given a site redesign (to avoid gender stereotyping, I'll omit any metaphors about makeovers or facelifts here) ;-)
As usually happens in the wonderful world of web development, there may be some bugs in the way the new site looks in certain web browsers. I've checked the site in Firefox and Internet Explorer for Windows. If any of you viewers have feedback or corrections for other browsers and platforms, please email me (Andrea) with a description of the issue and a screenshot. Any general feedback is more than welcome in the comments below.
As you can probably see already, Blog Sisters has been given a site redesign (to avoid gender stereotyping, I'll omit any metaphors about makeovers or facelifts here) ;-)
As usually happens in the wonderful world of web development, there may be some bugs in the way the new site looks in certain web browsers. I've checked the site in Firefox and Internet Explorer for Windows. If any of you viewers have feedback or corrections for other browsers and platforms, please email me (Andrea) with a description of the issue and a screenshot. Any general feedback is more than welcome in the comments below.
Tuesday, January 25, 2005
A "Culture of Life"? Are Ya Sure Ya Wanna Use That Term?
This morning, there was a report of Bush calling a Pro-Life rally and urging them to promote a "Culture of Life."
Seems ironic coming from a President who wholeheartedly and unabashedly supports the death penalty.
However, I'm sure that the phrasing "Culture of Life" is a turn on the Pope's indictment a few years ago of American culture as a "Culture of Death." If Bush is going to crib from the Pope, he should take a look at Catholic teaching and then fully model what he describes as a Culture on Life on what Catholic teaching might consider a Culture of Life.
A Catholic Culture of life would most certainly include a halt to the death penalty, which is something the Bush administration would never consider. A Catholic Culture of Life would also include many more social programs than the Bush administration would allow, thus fully supporting all children born to mothers denied abortion and lifetime counselling for those who commit murder. More money would be funneled into Social Security because it would be considered inhuman to reduce or privatize benefits paid out to the elderly and infirmed.
And a Catholic Culture of Life would be none too happy with Bush's idea of giving illegal immigrant workers of rich American families special "right to work" status so that those families would not be penalized for virtually imprisioning and actually underpaying people who want to follow the vaunted American Dream.
But, then again, Bush follows some fundy Methodism that seems to want to take its inspiration from revisionist interpretations of the Old Testament without ever consulting the Abrahamic traditions of Old Testament interpretation that have existed for centuries.
Like any under-achieving intellect, Bush likes to crib from other sources without giving them credit, without following an honest interpretation of the original source, and resorts to revisionism to support his far-flung and iconsistent opinions.
Kind of scary when you think about it. More like a Culture of Mediocrity than a Culture of Life.
--Tish G.
(whose blog is here)
Seems ironic coming from a President who wholeheartedly and unabashedly supports the death penalty.
However, I'm sure that the phrasing "Culture of Life" is a turn on the Pope's indictment a few years ago of American culture as a "Culture of Death." If Bush is going to crib from the Pope, he should take a look at Catholic teaching and then fully model what he describes as a Culture on Life on what Catholic teaching might consider a Culture of Life.
A Catholic Culture of life would most certainly include a halt to the death penalty, which is something the Bush administration would never consider. A Catholic Culture of Life would also include many more social programs than the Bush administration would allow, thus fully supporting all children born to mothers denied abortion and lifetime counselling for those who commit murder. More money would be funneled into Social Security because it would be considered inhuman to reduce or privatize benefits paid out to the elderly and infirmed.
And a Catholic Culture of Life would be none too happy with Bush's idea of giving illegal immigrant workers of rich American families special "right to work" status so that those families would not be penalized for virtually imprisioning and actually underpaying people who want to follow the vaunted American Dream.
But, then again, Bush follows some fundy Methodism that seems to want to take its inspiration from revisionist interpretations of the Old Testament without ever consulting the Abrahamic traditions of Old Testament interpretation that have existed for centuries.
Like any under-achieving intellect, Bush likes to crib from other sources without giving them credit, without following an honest interpretation of the original source, and resorts to revisionism to support his far-flung and iconsistent opinions.
Kind of scary when you think about it. More like a Culture of Mediocrity than a Culture of Life.
--Tish G.
(whose blog is here)
Saturday, January 22, 2005
President Boxer blog launches
Usually when I post here, it's to tell you about one of my new political poems or song parodies at Mad Kane's Notables. But not today.
The purpose of today's post is to lure you over to the newly launched
President Boxer. It's a group blog which I started in "honor" of Bush's 2nd inaugural.
It features commentary, news, and humor championing Senator Barbara Boxer as our next U.S. President. Additionally, it's a forum where we can hold Democrat lawmakers accountable and let them know that (1) they need to have a spine and (2) there's support for Democrats who courageously stand their ground on liberal issues.
So please stop by President Boxer and let us know what you think. And if our topics interest you, perhaps you'll even want to join our group of (so far) eight bloggers.
The purpose of today's post is to lure you over to the newly launched
President Boxer. It's a group blog which I started in "honor" of Bush's 2nd inaugural.
It features commentary, news, and humor championing Senator Barbara Boxer as our next U.S. President. Additionally, it's a forum where we can hold Democrat lawmakers accountable and let them know that (1) they need to have a spine and (2) there's support for Democrats who courageously stand their ground on liberal issues.
So please stop by President Boxer and let us know what you think. And if our topics interest you, perhaps you'll even want to join our group of (so far) eight bloggers.
Narcissism, But Substitute Loathe for Love
The Good Body by Eve Ensler. In this play, the narrator/author first launches into a monologue about what it is to be good. For Ensler, good is all about the perfect body. Her stomach, on the other hand, is the representation of bad because it is not as flat as the models she sees in the media. Unfortunately, her preoccupation with her stomach drives her partner away because she has placed more importance on her appearance than their relationship.
Her obsession with physical imperfection isn't unique. We read about a variety of other women with the same problem: the exercise-fanatical editor of Cosmo, a teenaged girl sent to fat camp, a Puerto Rican woman dominated by her mother's ideal of beauty, a model who lets her husband/plastic surgeon sculpt her body, a body-piercing lesbian, a middle-aged Jewish woman who gets her vagina tightened by laser surgery, a woman who got seduced by a pedophile when she was younger, a seventy-year-old African woman crusading against female mutilation, an Indian woman who has learned to love her body, Afghanistan women who eat ice cream even though it is punishable by death.
Some of these women have their body altered and others have eventually come to grips with their corporeal selves, learning to accept rather than hate. But one pervasive theme running through these vignettes is the want to be desired. In this case, the kind of desire Ensler wants to illustrate is strictly physical and sexual. Women today are confused--is desirability and femininity as depicted in the media and culture really the same thing that their partners want? Has society turned women into self-loathing maniacs because we're conditioned to believe that only the body matters and not intelligence or personality?
On one hand, I see the truth of these anecdotes. Who hasn't thought about a part of their body that they didn't like very much? Who hasn't had someone make snide remarks about their appearance? It hurts, and the first emotional reaction is that one is less of a person because of it. On the other hand, The Good Body doesn't cover any new ground. Feminism has been blabbering about body image issues for years. A preoccupation about appearance isn't going to disappear soon--biologically, attracting and finding a mate probably won't change as long as humans are still reproducing in the usual way--although society has certainly made it a problem. The Good Body outlines a solution: personal acceptance. But again, this is not new. The publication of this play only indicates that all the self-esteem classes that have been doled out for the past decade haven't been working.
(Cross-posted at Syaffolee.)
Her obsession with physical imperfection isn't unique. We read about a variety of other women with the same problem: the exercise-fanatical editor of Cosmo, a teenaged girl sent to fat camp, a Puerto Rican woman dominated by her mother's ideal of beauty, a model who lets her husband/plastic surgeon sculpt her body, a body-piercing lesbian, a middle-aged Jewish woman who gets her vagina tightened by laser surgery, a woman who got seduced by a pedophile when she was younger, a seventy-year-old African woman crusading against female mutilation, an Indian woman who has learned to love her body, Afghanistan women who eat ice cream even though it is punishable by death.
Some of these women have their body altered and others have eventually come to grips with their corporeal selves, learning to accept rather than hate. But one pervasive theme running through these vignettes is the want to be desired. In this case, the kind of desire Ensler wants to illustrate is strictly physical and sexual. Women today are confused--is desirability and femininity as depicted in the media and culture really the same thing that their partners want? Has society turned women into self-loathing maniacs because we're conditioned to believe that only the body matters and not intelligence or personality?
On one hand, I see the truth of these anecdotes. Who hasn't thought about a part of their body that they didn't like very much? Who hasn't had someone make snide remarks about their appearance? It hurts, and the first emotional reaction is that one is less of a person because of it. On the other hand, The Good Body doesn't cover any new ground. Feminism has been blabbering about body image issues for years. A preoccupation about appearance isn't going to disappear soon--biologically, attracting and finding a mate probably won't change as long as humans are still reproducing in the usual way--although society has certainly made it a problem. The Good Body outlines a solution: personal acceptance. But again, this is not new. The publication of this play only indicates that all the self-esteem classes that have been doled out for the past decade haven't been working.
(Cross-posted at Syaffolee.)
Slamming
When I was a pre-teen, we girls had a thing we used to do called "Slam Books." What they were was notebooks (they had to be spiral) where you would write on the top of each page a question. Then, you'd pass the books around to your friends, really to any girl in the class who would want to write in it, and they would answer each question. It would be things like "Who do you like" and "Does he know you like him" and "What's your favorite color?" On the cover, if you were really creative, you would cut cool pictures and phrases out of your sister's magazines and tape them all over the cover (it had to be the shiny tape). The more cool phrases you had, the better. Advertising equals cool. It was sort of like a ransom note gone teen.
Boys were sort of allowed to write in them, if they were the "right boys." But for the most part, it was a secret way to find out more information about your friends and possibly blackmail them in the future about the "boy they like". I recall being brutally (to myself) honest and putting the names of the boys I had crushes on, risking them finding out, I guess cause I half wanted them to know.
There are emails that are quite popular going around that remind me of Slam Books. You know the ones, they have the same kinds of questions and you're supposed to forward the completed email to all of your address book. I have one sitting in my inbox right now, even with my aversion to spam and chain email and all those sorts of things being well known by my friends. I don't really mind one of these Slam E-mails because I usually just answer the questions and send it back to only the person who sent it to me. I just don't like to pass them around to a bunch of people who didn't ask-- if they want to know whether I like chocolate or vanilla better, they should ask me. I'm not just giving this info out for free, you know.
One thing I was remembering this morning at 5:00 when I did my current pregnancy "wake up with pain in hip and can't go back to sleep" trend was how I used to like to put the phrase that used to be part of a Virginia Slims ad campaign on my Slam covers: "You've Come a Long Way Baby." Virginia Slims quite cleverly used the historic tie between smoking & feminism to imply that smoking their cigarettes was a path to girl-power. You might remember this campaign if you're as ancient as I am. They would have cute women in old-fashioned clothing getting in trouble for smoking, usually with some fat old policeman with handlebar mustaches looking on disapprovingly. Or they'd be loaded down with laundry, or show the uncomfortable corsets women had to wear. Some sort of discomfort that used to be associated with women would be featured in a small, sepia colored inset photo. Then they'd show the liberated modern woman happily holding her "slim"* cigarette with no fear, smiling smugly cause she's "come a long way."
I liked the idea of being an independent, liberated woman, even way back before I had hit puberty. Girls could do anything they wanted to do. So I would include this phrase on my notebooks. People often looked at me, puzzled, and said "Do you smoke?" So quite clearly, the idea of "coming a long way" was, for many, firmly tied to that cigarette. I figured I could divorce its commercial meaning and still keep the liberated woman part of the phrase. Even though back then all I really had to look forward to was going a long way in my future. I had big plans, and they didn't involve smoking.
I have, in fact, come a long way, from a stringy-haired, freckled poor kid who secretly wanted the boy I liked to find out about it and declare his undying love back for me to a woman who has a soul mate who regularly declares his undying love for me, and it's not a secret at all. I have two university degrees of which I am very proud, and will get the third before this year is out darn it. I can bring home the bacon, but if you ask me to fry it up, I'll probably get a little woozy cause the twins-to-be-named-soon don't like bacon. I live in a great little "nest" of a home and have great friends and family.
It's a long way from there to here. And I'll tell you a secret that isn't ever asked in the Slam Books or E-mail Slams. I'm loving every single minute of it.
*Another catch-- the cigarettes imply you'll be skinnier if you smoke them too... see. They're clever, these tobacco folks.
Also posted at Kim Procrastinates
Boys were sort of allowed to write in them, if they were the "right boys." But for the most part, it was a secret way to find out more information about your friends and possibly blackmail them in the future about the "boy they like". I recall being brutally (to myself) honest and putting the names of the boys I had crushes on, risking them finding out, I guess cause I half wanted them to know.
There are emails that are quite popular going around that remind me of Slam Books. You know the ones, they have the same kinds of questions and you're supposed to forward the completed email to all of your address book. I have one sitting in my inbox right now, even with my aversion to spam and chain email and all those sorts of things being well known by my friends. I don't really mind one of these Slam E-mails because I usually just answer the questions and send it back to only the person who sent it to me. I just don't like to pass them around to a bunch of people who didn't ask-- if they want to know whether I like chocolate or vanilla better, they should ask me. I'm not just giving this info out for free, you know.
One thing I was remembering this morning at 5:00 when I did my current pregnancy "wake up with pain in hip and can't go back to sleep" trend was how I used to like to put the phrase that used to be part of a Virginia Slims ad campaign on my Slam covers: "You've Come a Long Way Baby." Virginia Slims quite cleverly used the historic tie between smoking & feminism to imply that smoking their cigarettes was a path to girl-power. You might remember this campaign if you're as ancient as I am. They would have cute women in old-fashioned clothing getting in trouble for smoking, usually with some fat old policeman with handlebar mustaches looking on disapprovingly. Or they'd be loaded down with laundry, or show the uncomfortable corsets women had to wear. Some sort of discomfort that used to be associated with women would be featured in a small, sepia colored inset photo. Then they'd show the liberated modern woman happily holding her "slim"* cigarette with no fear, smiling smugly cause she's "come a long way."
I liked the idea of being an independent, liberated woman, even way back before I had hit puberty. Girls could do anything they wanted to do. So I would include this phrase on my notebooks. People often looked at me, puzzled, and said "Do you smoke?" So quite clearly, the idea of "coming a long way" was, for many, firmly tied to that cigarette. I figured I could divorce its commercial meaning and still keep the liberated woman part of the phrase. Even though back then all I really had to look forward to was going a long way in my future. I had big plans, and they didn't involve smoking.
I have, in fact, come a long way, from a stringy-haired, freckled poor kid who secretly wanted the boy I liked to find out about it and declare his undying love back for me to a woman who has a soul mate who regularly declares his undying love for me, and it's not a secret at all. I have two university degrees of which I am very proud, and will get the third before this year is out darn it. I can bring home the bacon, but if you ask me to fry it up, I'll probably get a little woozy cause the twins-to-be-named-soon don't like bacon. I live in a great little "nest" of a home and have great friends and family.
It's a long way from there to here. And I'll tell you a secret that isn't ever asked in the Slam Books or E-mail Slams. I'm loving every single minute of it.
*Another catch-- the cigarettes imply you'll be skinnier if you smoke them too... see. They're clever, these tobacco folks.
Also posted at Kim Procrastinates
Friday, January 21, 2005
"Running of the Brides"
This is just embarrassing. When I was getting married, I was on the look out for bargains. I bought my wedding dress at a consignment shop for $200 and was very happy with it. (Just this last year, trying on wedding dresses at Goodwill for my Hallowe'en costume I was admonished by a strange woman that I couldn't buy a used wedding dress. Not that it was any of her business. And not that I hadn't already done it and have had a happy marriage for almost 12 years now. Luck shmuck. You make your own luck) And I understand how someone would want to get a good deal on something that can be outrageously expensive: the wedding dress.
Just now on CNN they showed the above footage of an Atlanta store that offers dresses at something like a 75% discount with brides racing, pushing, and literally screaming as they ran into the store through a banner and I'm sure pushed and pulled frantically to find their "dream dress." The anchors playfully joked about how dangerous the place must have been. Yes, it looked like people were having fun, and there were a couple of grooms in there. In fact, late in the video there is a man running with "swishy" hands screaming and making fun of the whole thing with a big grin on his face. BUT the anxiety clear on the faces of many of the brides shows how seriously they took this event, how important this dress thing is to them. For the majority of the women, it was NOT a laughing matter.
Okay, fine. Let's not focus on our marriage, our spouse to be, but on the dress we'll wear. The issue is somewhat humiliating, and has granted me a rant for the day.
This is all part of the Cinderella syndrome. Even Cathy the cartoon strip is going through the same issue right now-- perpetually worried neurotic Cathy is finally getting married, and very day there's a wedding cliche played out in the comic, supposedly for funny effect. We saw Monica on Friends go insane, (and drive her friends that way too) with a huge scrapbook of the "dream wedding" plans she had been making since she was a little girl. Many women seem to think that on their wedding day everything must be PERFECT and they have to live a fairy tale, or else life is just not worth living. It's a major cause of anxiety and debt.
Is it just me, or is this a really sick precedent? A wedding is a really special moment, but middle-class people spend sometimes as much as 50 grand on weddings-- FOR ONE DAY. It can be just as special for a heckuva lot less money. Don't even get me started on what rich folks pay. Little girls should not be raised with the idea that the most important day of their entire life will be the wedding day. Yes, it's a big event. But I see it as a lot like "The Prom"-- you get a nice dress, you have some nice food and pictures, and the rest of your life and marriage is what is important. The MARRIAGE-- that is what is the most important thing. NOT the dress, the cake, the flowers. Not even the tiara.*
I don't mean to belittle or insult anyone's dreams by any means--but reasonableness really needs to prevail here. For the price of many folks' single day, one can put a substantial down payment on one's first house! Or put aside money for one's children's education! Or even go on a long vacation! To freakin' Europe for weeks!! Andrew bought me my first car with part of the money we could have spent on a fancy wedding. And we still had enough money in bonds to save to buy our first rental property, which we still have invested and is still making us money.
I just can't believe this sort of mindset still exists and is thought to be a quirky human interest story where women race screaming and pushing into a store FOR A DRESS. A Thing. A pretty dress is nice, yes, but you could get married in a pair of cutoff shorts and a sparkly tube top (and if you do, please please please invite me to the wedding.) :) The dress has nothing to do with your marriage; it's a fun part of a fun ceremony, but not something worth devoting this much energy to. I was both embarrassed and saddenend by this story, and the attitude about how women have or have not come so far in the last 30 years.
My wedding probably cost a total of about 5,000, and I had a very nice, small, simple wedding with family & friends. I was very happy with it, and lucky to have a sister who was a catering person who got some great deals on the equipment and prepared all the food for me (which was low-key anyway.) I've been to some extravagant wonderful weddings in my time, and they were really neat. But even those were just one day in the life of the couple. The rest of the days are the important part, and I guess my concluding moral is that if you can't afford the dress of your dreams, perhaps your dreams are beyond your means. My friend with the extravagant wedding could afford to spend more-- she didn't have to belittle herself racing screaming into a store for the amusement of the cameras, standing in line for hours, for a dress at 75% off.
I, with lesser means for the wedding, bought a used dress, not a used husband. The "bad" or "good luck" comes from your choice of mate, not your choice of a dress. (Besides, the wedding dress as we know it is a Victorian custom. It's certainly NOT something that is ageless and timeless. A tradition from the same people who renamed a male chicken "rooster" cause they didn't want to say "cock," and who put skirts on table legs so that one wouldn't become aroused by looking at the feet/legs of your dining set. We really should take all the Victorian traditions to heart. Yeah.)
Don't be part of the running of the brides. (Where, if you check your metaphor, you will realize that the comparison being made here is to the running of the bulls, where the bulls=brides, or a raging mindless animal who is about to be killed on a sword in a bullfight is compared to a bride.) Have some dignity. Plan a wedding within your means, and then focus on getting to know your spouse so that you're not part of the 50% of marriages that end. And for the goddess's sake, save me a piece of wedding cake.
*And for a drag queen crow who loves sparklies like me to say this, you gotta know something is serious. :)
Also published at Kim Procrastinates
Just now on CNN they showed the above footage of an Atlanta store that offers dresses at something like a 75% discount with brides racing, pushing, and literally screaming as they ran into the store through a banner and I'm sure pushed and pulled frantically to find their "dream dress." The anchors playfully joked about how dangerous the place must have been. Yes, it looked like people were having fun, and there were a couple of grooms in there. In fact, late in the video there is a man running with "swishy" hands screaming and making fun of the whole thing with a big grin on his face. BUT the anxiety clear on the faces of many of the brides shows how seriously they took this event, how important this dress thing is to them. For the majority of the women, it was NOT a laughing matter.
Okay, fine. Let's not focus on our marriage, our spouse to be, but on the dress we'll wear. The issue is somewhat humiliating, and has granted me a rant for the day.
This is all part of the Cinderella syndrome. Even Cathy the cartoon strip is going through the same issue right now-- perpetually worried neurotic Cathy is finally getting married, and very day there's a wedding cliche played out in the comic, supposedly for funny effect. We saw Monica on Friends go insane, (and drive her friends that way too) with a huge scrapbook of the "dream wedding" plans she had been making since she was a little girl. Many women seem to think that on their wedding day everything must be PERFECT and they have to live a fairy tale, or else life is just not worth living. It's a major cause of anxiety and debt.
Is it just me, or is this a really sick precedent? A wedding is a really special moment, but middle-class people spend sometimes as much as 50 grand on weddings-- FOR ONE DAY. It can be just as special for a heckuva lot less money. Don't even get me started on what rich folks pay. Little girls should not be raised with the idea that the most important day of their entire life will be the wedding day. Yes, it's a big event. But I see it as a lot like "The Prom"-- you get a nice dress, you have some nice food and pictures, and the rest of your life and marriage is what is important. The MARRIAGE-- that is what is the most important thing. NOT the dress, the cake, the flowers. Not even the tiara.*
I don't mean to belittle or insult anyone's dreams by any means--but reasonableness really needs to prevail here. For the price of many folks' single day, one can put a substantial down payment on one's first house! Or put aside money for one's children's education! Or even go on a long vacation! To freakin' Europe for weeks!! Andrew bought me my first car with part of the money we could have spent on a fancy wedding. And we still had enough money in bonds to save to buy our first rental property, which we still have invested and is still making us money.
I just can't believe this sort of mindset still exists and is thought to be a quirky human interest story where women race screaming and pushing into a store FOR A DRESS. A Thing. A pretty dress is nice, yes, but you could get married in a pair of cutoff shorts and a sparkly tube top (and if you do, please please please invite me to the wedding.) :) The dress has nothing to do with your marriage; it's a fun part of a fun ceremony, but not something worth devoting this much energy to. I was both embarrassed and saddenend by this story, and the attitude about how women have or have not come so far in the last 30 years.
My wedding probably cost a total of about 5,000, and I had a very nice, small, simple wedding with family & friends. I was very happy with it, and lucky to have a sister who was a catering person who got some great deals on the equipment and prepared all the food for me (which was low-key anyway.) I've been to some extravagant wonderful weddings in my time, and they were really neat. But even those were just one day in the life of the couple. The rest of the days are the important part, and I guess my concluding moral is that if you can't afford the dress of your dreams, perhaps your dreams are beyond your means. My friend with the extravagant wedding could afford to spend more-- she didn't have to belittle herself racing screaming into a store for the amusement of the cameras, standing in line for hours, for a dress at 75% off.
I, with lesser means for the wedding, bought a used dress, not a used husband. The "bad" or "good luck" comes from your choice of mate, not your choice of a dress. (Besides, the wedding dress as we know it is a Victorian custom. It's certainly NOT something that is ageless and timeless. A tradition from the same people who renamed a male chicken "rooster" cause they didn't want to say "cock," and who put skirts on table legs so that one wouldn't become aroused by looking at the feet/legs of your dining set. We really should take all the Victorian traditions to heart. Yeah.)
Don't be part of the running of the brides. (Where, if you check your metaphor, you will realize that the comparison being made here is to the running of the bulls, where the bulls=brides, or a raging mindless animal who is about to be killed on a sword in a bullfight is compared to a bride.) Have some dignity. Plan a wedding within your means, and then focus on getting to know your spouse so that you're not part of the 50% of marriages that end. And for the goddess's sake, save me a piece of wedding cake.
*And for a drag queen crow who loves sparklies like me to say this, you gotta know something is serious. :)
Also published at Kim Procrastinates
Tuesday, January 18, 2005
Dubya's "He's Hiding" Song
By now you've heard Bush's explanation/excuse for not capturing bin Laden: "He's hiding." But you probably don't know about Dubya's "He's Hiding" Song.
Also, I'm pleased to announce my association with the newly launched HumorGuru.com, a humor magazine featuring eight professional humor columnists writing about every topic imaginable. (My own contributions will range from political satire to personal humor columns.) I hope you'll check it out and help spread the word about this spanking new and very entertaining humor pub.
Also, I'm pleased to announce my association with the newly launched HumorGuru.com, a humor magazine featuring eight professional humor columnists writing about every topic imaginable. (My own contributions will range from political satire to personal humor columns.) I hope you'll check it out and help spread the word about this spanking new and very entertaining humor pub.
Sunday, January 16, 2005
Some voices of people of faith you may NOT have heard lately
Coming to the revolution a little late but still on time
This is the current From Where I Stand column written by Sister Joan Chittester for the National Catholic Reporter. Last time I posted about Sister Joan was when she was Bill Moyers' guest on NOW last November.
Hers is a powerful voice; an articulate voice; the voice of a person of faith who, remarkably enough these days, is not calling upon a vengeful deity to rain down damnation on all who are foolish enough to veer from the one and only one, true, correct faith that exists, i.e. [insert name of desired One True Religion here]. You know: a rational voice.
The Internet might even be a way to organize national conversations on current issues. We could start, for instance, by asking ourselves spiritual questions about political subjects -- like why it is that we are all so stunned, shocked, dismayed about the 150,000 deaths in Asia from a tsunami but we don't seem to be bothered a bit about the over 100,000 civilian deaths - most of them women and children - which, the Lancet study tells us, have resulted from our own invasion of Iraq?
Read the whole thing.
***
And, via the wonderful Newsfare , the text of a speech given by Dr. Robin Myers at Oklahoma University Peace Rally on November 14, 2004:
Arrogance is the opposite of faith
Let me give you just a few of the reasons why I take issue with those in power who claim moral values are on their side:
--- When you start a war on false pretenses, and then act as if your deceptions are justified because you are doing God's will, and that your critics are either unpatriotic or lacking in faith, there are some of us who have given our lives to teaching and preaching the faith who believe that this is not only not moral, but immoral.
--- When you live in a country that has established international rules for waging a just war, build the United Nations on your own soil to enforce them, and then arrogantly break the very rules you set down for the rest of the world, you are doing something immoral.
--- When you claim that Jesus is the Lord of your life, and yet fail to acknowledge that your policies ignore his essential teaching, or turn them on their head (you know, Sermon on the Mount stuff like that we must never return violence for violence and that those who live by the sword will die by the sword), you are doing something immoral.
--- When you act as if the lives of Iraqi civilians are not as important as the lives of American soldiers, and refuse to even count them, you are doing something immoral.
--- When you find a way to avoid combat in Vietnam, and then question the patriotism of someone who volunteered to fight, and came home a hero, you are doing something immoral.
--- When you ignore the fundamental teachings of the gospel, which says that the way the strong treat the weak is the ultimate ethical test, by giving tax breaks to the wealthiest among us so the strong will get stronger and the weak will get weaker, you are doing something immoral.
--- When you wink at the torture of prisoners, and deprive so-called "enemy combatants" of the rules of the Geneva convention, which your own country helped to establish and insists that other countries follow, you are doing something immoral.
Read the whole thing.
All I can say is: if you need to feel hope, as I do, that it's possible to affect the outcome of world events, then listen to these voices. We may be of many different Christian denominations, or non- Christians, or non-believers, but we can and must stand together against fundamentalist fascist oppressor powers wherever they may be, including the current US administration.
Also posted here.
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