Bloggers Speak, Part 1 of 2 -- Audio Mini-Interviews With Lefty Bloggers

On Saturday, Julia of Sisyphus Shrugged held another of her delightful lefty blogger gatherings in Queens, New York. And I'm pleased to report that this time, not only did I bring my digital audio recorder, but I actually remembered to use it. Okay, I did get some prodding and nudging from
Elayne of Pen-Elayne who, by the way, took pictures.

Throughout the evening. I dragged sundry bloggers (and the occasional blogger spouse) to the back of Julia's yard for -- hey, get your mind out of the gutter -- mini-interviews with them. This Mad Kane Notables
post includes 6 MP3 links to my chats with Elayne, Julia, Michael Berube, Barbara of the Mahablog, Jen of The News Blog, and Scott of Lawyers, Guns and Money. (Another batch of mp3 interviews will be posted in the next day or so.)

FEMA's Brown sent back to WA

Despite the fact that Washington continues to defend their decision to hire him in the first place, and to defend his performance in the wake of Katrina's devastation of New Orleans:

"Michael D. Brown, the embattled head of the Federal Emergency Management Agency, today was relieved of his duties overseeing recovery efforts in the Gulf Coast region." Coast Guard Vice Adm. Thad W. Allen will now be heading up the recovery effort in New Orleans.

Also from the NY Times: "Allen, the Coast Guard's chief of staff since 2002, has spent his entire career in the Coast Guard since graduating from the U.S. Coast Guard Academy in 1971. He was director of resources under Adm. James Loy, who later became Homeland Security's deputy secretary.... He has been in charge of Coast Guard operations in South Carolina, Georgia, most of Florida, and throughout the Caribbean."

So now the disaster recovery will be headed by someone apparently competent to do so. What is interesting is that Brown is still the head of FEMA, he has just been relieved of his disaster duties. But what does one do to head the Federal Emergency Management Agency without disaster duties? Isn't disaster all they do?

In any case, let all our prayers be behind Allen's success - and Brown's complete ouster!

For a more personal reflection on the New Orleans disaster and how it is highlighting the importance of community connection and inner refuges in our lives, see this post at the Indigo Ocean weblog: What Holds Us Together.

On a sadly humorous closing note (if that is possible) Here is what the former first lady had to say about the evacuees: "so many of the people in the arena here, you know, were underprivileged anyway,' she said, 'so this is working very well for them." - Source NY Times: Barbara Bush

3 FEMA Limericks

I've written 3 FEMA limericks. Here's the first one:

The FEMA head Michael D. Brown
Helped cause thousands to suffer and drown.
Now he's dodging the blame.
Who's at fault? Val'rie Plame?
Let's throw Dubya and Brown out of town.

All three of my FEMA limericks are here.

And my podcast version is here.

Lady H's Blog

Bush Error 404 -- Bush Not Found In Crawford

I took a break from political poetry to go Bush hunting, but all I could find was this.

Two Crackpot Pats & Bush Vacation Humor

I've mustered up a new batch of political poems: two limericks about a pair of our country's Crackpot Pats, Pat Robertson and Pat Boone; and a poem and haiku about Bush's extended vacation and his summer reading list. Here's my Pat Robertson limerick:

A Broadcasting Preacher Named Pat
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A broadcasting preacher named Pat,
Who quite frequently talks through his hat,
Seems to think it's God's will
That we Prez Chavez kill.
Then we'll take all his oil, and that's that.

You'll find all four of the poems here and my podcast version is here.

Sacred Space in Motion

Dancing last night at Soul Motion with Vinn Marti, I prayed to the all-pervading light, "Can you use this moment? Can you use it to show me your ancient face? Let me use the body to lose the body. Show me that I am not a body."

At first I would see an image of myself moving a certain way, then decide to enact that vision. Gradually that gave way to discovering the movements as they occurred, watching myself dance. Finally I began to consciously note the movements only after they had occurred, as I stood in stillness waiting for the next motion to come. While in the midst of each movement there was no mind to observe with. There was only the motion itself.

At the spiritual singing circles with Wind Cloud there is a song we often sing, and usually I wind up being the dancer for the group. It goes something like this:

Loving is a beautiful feeling, dance 'til you rise in love.
Dancing is a beautiful feeling, dance 'til you rise above.
Disappear in the song, 'til the dancer is gone,
until only the dance remains.

And this I sing to you now, for you are sacred space. This is my prayer. May you use the body to lose the body. May you lose the dancer and become the dance. May you see your ancient face and recognize your true nature, in this very moment.

-- From the Indigo Ocean insight and inspiration weblog

*Another* dark side of V-J Day...

The first being nuclear fall-out...

Here's an article on today's SFGATE.com:

The dark side of V-J Day | The story of the city's deadliest riot has been largely forgotten

Today is the 60th anniversary of a terrible day in San Francisco's history -- a victory riot that left 11 dead, 1,000 injured and the city's reputation besmirched.

"It was the deadliest riot in the city's history,'' said Kevin Mullen, a retired deputy chief of police who has written extensively about crime in San Francisco.

The riot, which followed the Japanese surrender announcement by a day, was mostly confined to downtown San Francisco and involved thousands of drunken soldiers and sailors, most of them teenagers, who smashed store windows, attacked women, halted all traffic, wrecked Muni streetcars -- 30 of them were disabled, and one Muni worker was killed. The rioters took over Market Street and refused to leave until military and civilian police drove them away long after nightfall following hours of chaos.

"A looting, smashing crowd is tearing up Market Street tonight,'' Chronicle reporter Stanton Delaplane wrote at 8 o'clock that Wednesday night. "... this crowd is out of hand. You couldn't stop it if you tried, not short of tear gas and fire hoses.''

And under a quintessential shot of soldiers force-kissing young women, the caption reads:

As the party turned ugly, there were -- along with iconic images of sailors kissing strangers -- eyewitness reports of gang rapes.

This story hardly surprises me as I've always kind of assumed these celebrations broke out in this manner at some point during the course of the day. Take a large number of men who assume they can force themselves on random women, add booze and the acceptability of such behavior in the name of "victory," and you've got a recipe for violence against women. Seems odd that the focus is only on San Francisco. I truly doubt this behavior, on such a large scale, only happened here on that day or any day like it.

It also bugs me that in the mainstream media, violent riots of primarily white people hardly result in the social and political legacies that people of color get to deal with.

The article goes on to quote a retired deputy police chief:

"If you pull all restraints off and add liquor, that's what happens,'' said Mullen, the former deputy police chief. "Everybody went nuts. These were not veterans, they were young people who hadn't been in the war. They were not warriors,'' he said.

They hadn't seen the war, and now they didn't have to. There would be no invasion of Japan, no long casualty lists. These young men would not see combat. So they got drunk. They were all drunk, the reporter Delaplane wrote. One in four, he thought, was "falling down drunk.''

"You put young girls with them and add liquor, and that's what happens,'' Mullen said. Some of the women were not so willing; there were several rapes, some gang rapes reported by eyewitnesses, but none was ever officially reported.

I just love it when people who have any amount of privilege give dismissive explanations so we can all can just murmur, "Ohhhh..." and nod our heads vapidly.

This is also posted on my (recently resurrected) blog Zoloft, Take Me Away. Cheers!

Ode To Cindy Sheehan

Will Cindy Sheehan's Crawford encampment prove to be a tipping point? Will her Texas standoff with George Bush inspire an antiwar activism growth spurt? The answer to both questions is a definite maybe. But whatever happens, we owe Cindy Sheehan a debt of gratitude, and I owe her this Ode:

Ode To Cindy Sheehan
By Madeleine Begun Kane

"The mother of a soldier dead
Has Dubya running scared.
Her very name fills Bush with dread.
Face Sheehan? Dub don't dare.

She's camped outside Dub's pseudo-ranch,
In Crawford's daunting heat..."

The rest of my Ode to Cindy Sheehan is here.

And the audio / podcast version is here.

Girl Group Doo Wop Brill Building Heaven

Gonna Take a Miracle [Expanded]
Laura Nyro with LaBelle

When I saw this CD in my local B&N last week it was all I could do not to scream, I was that ecstatic. Even if I had screamed, I'm sure the guys behind the counter would not have flinched. They're used to me coming in, usually looking for something that's a little bit off the beaten track, and then when I find it they have to put up with 10 minutes of me waxing rhapsodic about how fabulous whatever it is, is.

Now you must understand, my LP version of Gonna Take A Miracle is 34 years old, and for at least the last 25 of those years it's been unplayable, thanks to a certain ex's surefire breakup technique:

1) take a paperclip.
2) bend one end of paperclip outward.
3) take Terrible Soon-to-be Ex-girlfriend's favorite LP out of its cover.
4) apply sharp outwardly-pointing end of paperclip to LP.
5) repeat step 4 ten or eleven times

Not to mention that my cat Sonny sprayed boy-kitty spunk all over it.

But was all that enough to make me throw the LP away? Oh god no. I tried scrubbing off the cat jizz but nothing could get rid of the reek, so I wrapped it in 3-mil poly and eventually it got stashed away in boxes with all the other vinyl. For a long time it was so painful to remember how much I loved that record that I put it out of my mind completely for lo these many years, never seeking it out on CD until suddenly: there it was! In re-mastered, reissued and EXPANDED CD format! And it was all I could do not to do the ecstatic scream thing.

In the late 60s and into the 70s, there was a succession of female singer-songwriters who provided the soundtrack to my life. Sometimes it would be Joni Mitchell singing A Case of You; other times it would be Judy Collins singing Marat/Sade
but most often it was Laura Nyro singing New York Tendaberry

My mother, bless her eternally well-intentioned but incurably ditsy heart, would put up with Laura Nyro playing nonstop on the clunky big console stereo in the dining room of our house in south Minneapolis; endless hours of Bronx-born Jewish/Italian Nyro wailing, until finally Mom would say:
"Honey, would you please turn that colored woman down!?"

And after I got through laughing, of course I would. Turn the volume down on Laura Nyro, I mean. At least, I did until Gonna Take A Miracle came out in 1971. Then whenever it was on the turntable the volume was always cranked up to 11. Always.

Laura Nyro and Patti Labelle happened to meet in 1971 and discovered they were rabid fans of each other's music. They shared a love for the kind of music they grew up singing, the a capella arrangements soaring up from street corners and echoing in train station stairwells. Laura was already beginnning to gravitate towards that style in her newest album Christmas and the Beads of Sweat, which included the Goffin-King song Up On the Roof. With Laura singing lead vocals backed by soul trio "Labelle", which included Patti Labelle, Nona Hendryx and Sara Dash, they decided to do an entire album of nothing but covers of those girl group, doo wop, Brill Building Sound songs from the early 60s.

The liner notes say there was a very tight six-day window to record in, but the singers spent so much time just "vibing" together that 5 days went by without recording a single note. So the recording was all done on that sixth and last day, and because of the time constraints, most of the tracks are first takes. For that reason, and even more because of the obvious love and bond between the musicians that manifests on every track, the sheer power and raw emotion of this album knocks you right back on your ass.

This record was the soundtrack to our days in 1971 and 1972 and 1973, and by "our days" I mean mine and Annie's and Chris's and Greta's and Barbara's and California Chris's and a couple other women whose names I've forgotten now.

We were white, Scandy, Lutheran girls attending a small liberal arts college in rural Minnesota. More important [to us, anyway] was that we were also Earth mothers; girl freaks; hippie chicks; and Amazons [plus one Little French Waif]. We felt deeply. We had raised consciousness. We had passion in our souls. We had sisterhood, and sisterhood was powerful. This was our music, and we did not share it with men. Ever. [Oooh, like they felt so left out. Of course, guys were unbelievably relieved to not have to listen to this stuff.]

Gonna Take a Miracle could be a good soundtrack for those times when we were newly in love and life was a never-ending stoned soul picnic, but more frequently it was the soundtrack when relationships went sour. When love went bad and nothing was ever going to be the same ever again.

And by "love" we didn't mean that Incense and Peppermints I Got You Babe crapola.
No, even then we knew that what we meant was Crazy love. Obsessive love. Years Of Psychotherapy In Your Future love. Restraining Order love. Love so wild and scary that white Scandy Lutheran girls --even progressive counterculture ones-- would never be able to express it in song. Only dark, ethnic, New York women, with their powerful voices and gritty strength were capable of really, really, really singing about that kind of love.

These are the tracks that appeared on the original release in 1971:

1. I Met Him on a Sunday
[doo Sunday ronday ronday ronday boppa doo ron]
2. The Bells
[remember, if you ever leave me I'll go insane!]
3. Monkey Time/Dancing in the Street
[wish I could shimmy like my sister Kate]
4. Desiree*
5. You've Really Got a Hold on Me
[Tighter...]
6. Spanish Harlem
[love's growing in the street, right up through the concrete]
7. Jimmy Mack
[that boy he keeps coming around/he's trying to wear my resistance down]
8. The Wind*
9. Nowhere to Run
[cuz I know you're no good for me, but free of you I never will be]
10.It's Gonna Take a Miracle
[didn't you know/it wouldn't be so easy letting you go?]

*If you had to skip any, I'd say skip the two dreamy, ethereal cuts "Desiree" and "The Wind". We don't want that "wispy" "breathy" "dreamy" love shit. No! We want obsessive compulsive love like "You Really Got a Hold On Me" and psychotic I- hear- voices- nobody- else- can- hear love like "The Bells"!

The expanded part of the CD is four previously-unreleased tracks from a May 30, 1971 performance at the Fillmore East. Just Laura at the piano, first riffing through Ain't Nothing Like the Real Thing and then a segue to You Make me Feel Like a Natural Woman and then a verse of Ooh Child Things Are Gonna Get Easier, and finally you can hear a collective ecstatic gasp from the audience as they recognize the opening of Up On The Roof.

It's sweet soulful psycho girl music. And

no, Ma, I will NOT turn that colored woman down.



This post also appears here.

Bolton and Novak and Bush, Oh, My!

I've written three new limericks about John Bolton's recess appointment, Bob Novak's on-air freak out, and our country's lame excuse for a president. Here's one of the limericks:

Dubya's Down Time
By Madeleine Begun Kane

George Dubya sure loves to vacation,
And his workout time Dub rarely rations.
He likes recesses too,
For the power imbued
To name refuse to wreck our fine nation.

My three new limericks are here and my audio version is here.

Mad Kane

The Courage to Follow Your Signals

I was going to do the 24-hour blogathon this year [The Worthwhile Cause: Outward Bound - Women of Courage]. All Signals were off though. From the web production to even registering. I think the solution was perfect. A simple statement, a simple direction. No statistics keeping or excessive content. Simply Outward Bound has a wonderful program for women in need "Women of Courage" and this is what it is about.

On Friday evening I was talking about this Blogathon 2005 campaign to a roommate. That talk was very useful. It changed the direction of what I was going to write about (music) to relationships.

I will be keeping this Worthwhile blog up and it will be about relationships. I've got to get the comments to work. I hope that during the course of this blogging others will discuss (otherwise known as comment). Discussion is the most important part of blogging I think. Its growth.

That's what I always look for in relationships with myself and with others, growth.

We get so many signals about relationships of all kinds in our life. How many of us have the courage to follow those signals. Its hard indeed.

My roommate and many others in my life and people I come in contact with everyday all have this same topic of discussion. This significant other in their life (or wannabe) isn't giving them what they want. I always see that as a big signal in my own life. #1 can someone else give us what we want? #2 if someone can't give us what we've asked for (getting it) should we keep looking for it #3 can we grow with someone else (as long as we are both playing or working on getting it to achieve this desire. These are points discussed on the Dr. Phil show, Oprah and capitalized in Amazon.com bestsellers (such as "Closing the Deal : Two Married Guys Take You from Single Miss to Wedded Bliss")

We all have our own original answers and experiences. I believe that there is no one answer to these questions or points of discussion. We each have to make up our own hearts and mind (hearts&mind) Discussion via the media I've mentioned above helps. If we keep ourselves open to discussion I believe we can get what we want in this life.

Books Women will Love

Illustrator and book addict Patricia Storms recounts her indignation at finding a table of "Books Men Will Love" and "Books Women Will Love" laden with stereotypical selections of politics and chick lit, respectively. But, not only did she take her concerns to the book store staff, and the company's head office, she sent a letter to the CEO of the book store chain, with positive results.

Someone should write a book about standing up to subtle, pervasive forms of sexism in our culture. That would be a book that women will love (and hopefully men too!).

Speak to the Women in Congress!

Ask Roberts

What would you like to hear women in Congress ask Judge Roberts? Here's your chance - go to that link and let them know!

War? What War?

I've finally figured out why the Bush administration didn't bother to properly equip our soldiers in Iraq: We're not fighting a war - we're in a "struggle." And who needs body armor and armored vehicles for a measly struggle? I'm referring to Bush's latest sloganeering effort, giving the "global war on terror" a spanking new name: "global struggle against violent extremism." And that brings me to my latest poem:

War? What War?
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The war on terror's going bad,
So what's a Prez to do?
He simply calls it something else.
The "struggle" has debuted.

Bush starts a war without a plan.
A needless war, to boot.
And when it fails, his course is clear...

The rest of my War? What War? poem is here. And my audio version of this post is here.

And in case you missed it, my Working Stiffed job hunting humor is here and my audio version of Working Stiffed is here.

Act now: protect 11 yo girl facing 3 years in prison for defending herself from bully

I saw an article about this and I couldn't believe it, so I went looking for more info, and sure enough, it's true.

Here is the link to the following article:

Fresno, CA: On April 29th, Maribel was playing on the sidewalk with her 6-year-old brother and other younger children, when boys rode by on their bikes. They started teasing her, calling her names and hitting her with water balloons. The 11-year-old girl threw a rock to defend herself as neighborhood boys pelted her, hitting one hard enough to make him bleed. The boy admitted to officers that he started the fight and was quickly released from the hospital after getting his head stitched up. The boy's family stated they did not want to press charges.
Regardless, 11-year-old Maribel is now being charged with felony assault.

An 11-year-old girl, acting in self-defence, should not be treated as a felon. We have a duty as people to prevent this from becoming a precedent.

Maribel has already spent five days in Juvenile hall, allowed one half-hour visit from her parents, and 30 days under house arrest.
Maximum sentance is up to three years in a state correctional facility.
Maribel's Lawyer says the prosecution is not interested in a deal.

This site was put in place to let the Fresno court system, and those around the country, know that this is not acceptable.
Act Now!

Click here for contact information and to sign the pledge & petition.

Emails to Maribel will be forwarded from Maribel@FreeMaribel.org
Snail mail can be sent C/O Richard A. Beshwate
2014 telare st
suite 414
Fresno Ca
93721

Americans United: Take Action - stop Roberts!

Oppose Roberts for Supreme court!

Please go to this action page at Americans United for the Separation of Church and State and send letters to your congress people. It just takes a minute, and it's painless - unlike living in a country where the government limits your sex life, your religious expression, and your reproductive options. We have to stop this guy cold.

Tell your representatives that you won't go back to the 50's - The 1750's!

Shrub's SCOTUS Pick: Reproductive Rights Endangered

From the San Diego Union-Tribune (from an Associated Press report):

Bush chose federal appeals court judge John G. Roberts Jr. on Tuesday as his first nominee for the Supreme Court, selecting a rock solid conservative whose nomination could trigger a tumultuous battle over the direction of the nation's highest court, a senior administration official said.

Bush offered the position to Roberts in a telephone call at 12:35 p.m. after a luncheon with the visting prime minister of Australia, John Howard. He was to announce it later with a flourish in a nationally broadcast speech to the nation.

Roberts has been on the U.S. Court of Appeals for the District of Columbia Circuit since June 2003 after being picked for that seat by Bush.

Already, plans are on to protest the nomination. If you will be in DC tomorrow,check this out and attend, if you are so inclined:

JOIN the National Organization for Women (NOW), Wednesday, July 20, at 10:00 am for a demonstration against the nomination of anti-abortion rights John Roberts to the United States Supreme Court!

Dirksen Senate Office Building - Senate Swamp


Constitution and First St SE

The United States Senate must NOT confirm John Roberts. Let's show our support for women's rights.

So, who is this guy and what's behind the just-started furor?

Roberts serves on the US Court
of Appeals for the District of Columbia Circuit. A staunch conservative, the Buffalo, NY, native is reputed to be a quiet, thoughtful person who is an accompished orator. Roberts once was a law clerk for Chief Justice William Rehnquist, worked as a lawyer, and is a former deputy solicitor general.

According to a 2002 Buzzflash op-ed, he is, like SCOTUS also-ran Edith Clement, a Bush campaign-contributor:

John G. Roberts, Jr., the Hogan & Hartson partner nominated for the DC Circuit, also donated $1000 to Bush -- this really is starting to look like a cover charge -- with $3000 to other Republicans and $3900 to Hogan & Hartson's PAC. The PAC gave $136,000, aside from individual donations, and $30,000 in soft money. Roberts then donated $1000 to the Bush recount effort. Hogan & Hartson clients include Mobil Oil Corporation, 3M, and Hartford Accident & Indemnity.

And it appears Roberts is no friend to those who support reproductive rights. In one Supreme Court 1991 case during the reign of King George the Elder, Rust v. Sullivan, then-deputy solicitor general Roberts co-wrote a brief supporting the anti-choice government's wish to ban doctors in federally-funded family-planning programs from even discussing the alternative of abortion with patients. He also worked to overturn Roe v. Wade -- not once, but numerous times.

From the National Abortion Federation:

As an attorney in the Justice Departments of Ronald Reagan and George H.W. Bush, Roberts repeatedly argued for the reversal of Roe v. Wade stating that there was "no support in the text, structure or history of the Constitution" for the reasoning behind Roe. NAF believes that the appointment of Roberts will weaken the protections of Roe and its progeny. Numerous cases impacting the accessibility of abortion could come before this circuit, including administrative decisions such as the availability of mifepristone (RU-486).

Slate calls Roberts a hard-liner on the issue. Apparently, that is putting it mildly.

Additonally, the apparent nominee is someone with whom King George the Younger feels comfortable. That may be due, in part, to the fact that Roberts is seen as a jurist who supports giving the White House wide flexibility in its general operations and particularly in its handling of the so-called War on Terror.

Before his elevation to the DC Circuit Court, web site The Dossiers included Roberts in a list of "deeply conservative judges" the Bush administration intended and intends to foist upon the American populace via the federal judicial bench.

"As a political appointee in the Reagan administration, Roberts worked to oppose both busing and affirmative action as means of desegregation. Roberts was also involved in the administration's highly controversial efforts to make it nearly impossible for Voting Rights plaintiffs to prove violations. He later represented the first Bush administration in taking anti-choice positions in two high-profile reproductive rights cases. Roberts is nominated to the DC Circuit which hears many critical cases involving health, safety and civil rights regulations." Alliance for Justice Report

As we know, Roberts made it to the DC appeals court by a near unanimous Senate confirmation vote. Now the man the New York Sun called a "confirmable conservative" appears to be on his way to consideration by the Senate for a lifelong appointment to the Supreme Court. I don't know about you, but I am quite fearful.

from all facts and opinions

Spelunking for Mr. Right

In a comment I made to one of my own recent post, I noticed that I considered that the possibility of finding a man who wanted the same level of physical and emotional intimacy that I desire might be, at this point in my life, a mere fantasy.

Then I realized that this is the same complaint that echoes thru the blogs of many single women over the age of 40.

Obviously, I'm not alone in my contention. And, as many of our blogs prove out, not alone in my frustration.

What is it that makes it so difficult for us to find Mr. Right...or even Mr. Okay? And are all those Mr. Wrong-for-Us guys looking for their own Ms. Right?

One aspect of adult life that is rarely discussed is the way socializing patterns change after the age of 30. Often, when we are in our 20's and early 30's, men's and women's social lives revolve around things like softball and volleyball teams, bars and night clubs, house parties, cocktail parties for professionals, and other types of events that are fertile meeting grounds. But when the friends start to marry off and settle down, these events either stop completely or change shape. We don't have time for team sports. The house parties that were once full of singles become chatty groups of couples with men in one room and women in the other. The people in the bars get younger, and the professionally-oriented cocktail parties start to be more about making network connections than personal connections (mostly because the participants are wearing little rings on their left fingers).

Along with the change in the social milieu, there are changes in our personal lives as well. Women often go out with groups of friends. When the friends marry off and have children, going out may be a semi-annual event. Even then, the conversation usually isn't about the hot guys in the room, but about the job, the man, and the kids.

The advice we got as young women--that there is safety in numbers--becomes hard to follow once we hit adulthood. The numbers aren't there. So, if we want to go to a swanky cocktail bar, we can either go it alone or maybe, just maybe, be able to drum up a younger friend to accompany us.

However, the older-woman-with-a-friend can sometimes be perceived quite differently than the younger-woman-with-a-friend-or-two. Older/younger women pairs even when dressed to kill, can be perceived as a lesbian couple out on the town. Chances then of meeting those two good-looking lawyers at the end of the bar, no matter how much eye contact is exchanged, won't happen. The world of upscale bars and swanky cocktail lounges, after all, are realms of appearance, and first impressions are indeed everything.

If a woman wants to chance sitting in the swanky bar or lounge alone, she will have to fend off the amorous advances of the prowling married man in mid-life crisis. Depending on the customs of the geographic area, even talking to one of these marauders could give a girl a "reputation," and completely ward off the smattering of singles that might in the room. She will also have to compete with the professional late 20 and 30-somethings that also show up at these places.

The odds, then, decrease as the competition increases.

What, then, is it that makes single men over the age of 40 both elusive and more sensitive than they might have been when they were younger? Men's lives, too, change after 40. Overall, men are not big on going out in large groups, even when they are younger, and there is little change in that once they hit middle age. Yet habits do change, and bar-going habits are the first to do so. Most men will seek out the proverbial "old-man bar"--the corner joint or sports bar where they can go, have a couple of beers, watch the game, and maybe exchange a few comments with the bartender or another guy or group of guys at the bar. The intention is specifically *not* to meet anyone (so women, take note: don't go to the old-man bar.)

There's something in men that often drives them away from people rather than to socialize more. Maybe they just get tired of talking with and supervising others, and the level social playing field of the old-man bar can then be most appealing. Also, in a time where the slightest remark can be interpreted as sexual harassment, the single-gender atmosphere of the old man bar is quite a comfort.

As the coupling of friends continues, men are more than likely to begin to shy away from house parties. Rarely will one find a single man among the marrieds at a houseparty (although there may be a single female or two among the women). Single men seem to have less and less to talk about with house-husbands, unless they, too, are condo/house owners concerned about yardwork. Still, most men will keep their married friends at a talking-over-the-fence-while-cutting-hedges place and not join in at the coupled-up social gathering.

As men get more into middle age, they might start to think about their fitness levels. Many will start going to the gym or joining hiking, biking or other outdoor activity groups. Gyms, however, can have the cachet of the swanky bar and are also realms of appearance. Men will more often than not consider hitting on the young hardbodies rather than consider talking with the woman who's more than likely at their own age and fitness level.

Hiking, biking or outdoorsy groups can have a modicum of single men. Many men are most comfortable re-invigorating an interest in a solo outdoor activity such as biking and hiking that they may have enjoyed when they were younger. There are levels of competition in biking and running clubs, but it is a different sort of competition than what exists in a softball or hockey team. Hiking allows a man to demonstrate a certain strength and mastery--he can also be with people or go far away from them. The socializing flexibility and personal athletic challege are quite appealing.

However, this is problematic for most women. Often, we've had trouble with the "athletic" stuff since high school. Being in a female-centered desk job can keep a woman even more non-athletic than ever. There is, then, the fear that taking up hiking and biking will make a woman look as if she is making that desperate, last-ditch and most humiliating attempt to meet Mr. Right. Men tend to look at middle-aged athletic novices as helpless ninnies, rather than as cute young things in need of mentoring and assistance (as our younger counterparts are apt to be perceived).

What, then, about charitable groups, such as Habitat for Humanity or the local food bank? The merits of volunteering (and even church groups) have been over-stated for many years now. Sure, men do volunteer for these sorts of activities, but the odds are far lower in these groups than for athletic pursuits. Once again, men's spare time has more to do with wanting to get away from people, not taking on more responsibility for them by increasing interaction with them.

What, too, about personal ads on Internet dating sites? I've done the whole personal ad thing, and find that it's also not the same for people over 40 as it is for those in their 20's and 30's. The pool is shallower and far less fresh. Some men have had profiles on those sites since their inception and it becomes something of a game for them. There are also some little-discussed pitfalls to internet dating. If you find yourself wanting to register for something like Match.com, also check out Alt.com, AdultFriendFinder.com, and Passion.com. Women just might find that the guy on Match.com who says he's ready for a long-term relationship is, on the latter three sites, looking for wild no strings attached sex with women, men, groups and couples. Some men will load up on internet dating and swinging sites to try to beat the odds and get some kind of action. Some get more than they bargained for, but, a lot, I believe, get even less.


What, then IS a woman to do?

Got me on this one. I can see the patterns, but have no clue what to do about them. How I meet someone depends on whether or not I'm wiling to see what The Fates will send me, or if I'm willing to endure a certain amount of ridicule pursuing "manly" activities. With knowing the patterns, I may not have the solution, but at least I know that not meeting someone is more about the changes in the social milieu, and middle-aged men's tendencies toward lonerdom, than it is about any way I appear or any thing that I say or do.

After all, it takes two to tango, but if one is at the ball and the other at the old-man bar, there won't be any dancing...

The Japan Times Online- Rape as an instrument of War

The Japan Times Online :

"According to a report prepared by the International Committee of the Red Cross, titled 'Women and War' and based on two years of research from 1998 to 1999, approximately 80 percent of war victims are women and children. This is mainly because military conflicts now more commonly engulf towns and cities instead of only frontline areas.

There are many in this world for whom the ravages of war - including arson, looting, murder and rape -- are a way of life. These people have known little else than war all their lives, like their parents before them and their children (if they survive) after them. These generations of war face atrocities on a daily basis, and most of these go unnoticed by the rest of the world.
--snip--

While rape can be used to brutalize both sexes, it is usually committed against women during wartime -- males are usually killed or captured. Ongoing conflicts in many countries, including Palestine, Kashmir, Iraq, Afghanistan and Congo, have victims of war rapes running into the thousands.
--snip--

Rape is a more effective weapon of war than killing. Many victims say they would prefer death over life after being raped." [emphasis mine]

Read the whole article if you have the stomach for it.

I'm cross-posting this every damned place I can because I'm sick of people telling me that war affects men and women equally.

80% Women and Children. Only one in five is a man. War is a Woman's issue. Women's Rights Are Human Rights.

Courting "Net-oriety"

Whether it's called "blogebrity" or "net-oriety," let's face it, most of us like the attention we get from blogging. This article on MSN talks about how many nowdays court Internet fame thru their blogs.

Timely piece, given I was speaking with someone yesterday about just this topic. She was surprised how much of myself that I expose on my blog.

But it doesn't really bother me to do so. Blogging, to me, cannot encompass the totality of my person. It features a side of me--a personna. It is me but a portion of me. It is a portion of me that is different from others, and I do not mind showing that portion of myself to the world. That portion has alot of knowledge about two particular areas--sex and religion--and a modicum of self-awareness that makes for decent memoir.

I like to tell stories.

Sometimes telling the stories of our lives is more compelling and effective than simply reporting our opinion on an issue or newsstory that others have already left comments about. Telling that life-story in a way that makes people look at their own lives and experiences is, I think, a talent in itself.

Weaving stories from the outside world into stories of our world is also a unique way of communicating. It draws paralells, makes us part of something more, shows others our mind on issues we find important as it tells the reader something about who we are.

It can bring us "net-oriety" or not. "Net-oriety" is as slow as the word it derives from, unless the personna is cultivated in a way that is sensational enough to make people gasp as if they are observing a train wreck. Is this a good thing? Do those of us who blog really want to be the next big train wreck? Some probably do, given the way they manage to over-expose themselves. But I don't think that's what most of us are out to do. I'll freely admit that I enjoy when my sitemeter numbers skyrocket, but I am a bit ambivalent about what I need to do to mantain those numbers. I usually ask myself "is this blog for the world, for the pursuit of net-oriety, or for me? what is its purpose and is that purpose congruent with the personna?"

Sometimes the purpose changes. Blogs have an organic nature, and as such, can be subject to change. Yet is the change congruent with who we are (or want to be) on our blogs? Is the possibility of losing readers inconsequential to the need to express oneself via blogging?

Perhaps some bloggers are more adept at courting net-oriety. Perhaps they have a sense of noterity from their personal lives--they know how to mantain a personna that captivates others. Net-oriety is easy for them.

So, I wonder about my own desires for net-oriety. Is it what I want? Is it something I can handle? Can I spot the trend that will make it for me, and am I willing to adapt my personna to achieve it?

It's an on-going process. We'll see.

crossposted on love & hope & sex & dreams where you will find other meditations on blogging, identity and personna.

Cheney's Last Throes (Blog Post & Podcast)

I've finally managed to add audio to my blog and have recorded my last few political poems and song parodies as podcasts.

In my latest blog post and podcast, I comment on and (in the case of my podcast) sing about Cheney's claim that the Iraq insurgency is in its last throes. Here's how Cheney's Last Throes begins:

Cheney's Last Throes (Sing To "On Top Of Old Smokey")
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dick says the insurgents
Are in their last throes,
The war's almost over,
We're beating our foes.

Iraq violence surges.
It's gotten much worse.
Yet Cheney keeps telling
Lies chapter and verse.

When ABC's Terry
Dared question Dick's lie...

The rest of my song parody is here:
Cheney's Last Throes Blog Post

And my Cheney's Last Throes Podcast is here:
Cheney's Last Throes Podcast

Detoxing

My body aches all over, but it is more pronounced in my upper chest, behind my breastbone.

Heart Chakra.

I am trying to eat good foods, to stay away from the junk and sugar. Don't really even want the junk right now--so the good foods will keep me going and on an even keel.

When I can eat.

I miss the Apollo archetype, the Golden Boy that was the personification of all I could never have nor ever be because I wasn't born at the right conjunction of stars and planets and social class.

It wasn't that I was never pretty enough--it was more that the world I grew up in was far too disordered to give me what I needed to be good enough. But it's always much easier to say that I'm not pretty enough. Pretty is a superficial quality and easily quantifiable. Disorder, chaos, and the sense of "trailer trash" can be hidden behind the prettiness, but is like a cheap perfume that lingers in a cloud after your presence is gone.

They always know it.

I would like to cry, but I can't. That's nothing new. I'm not someone who cries all that often. I didn't cry much at my mother's funeral. Sometimes I can only cry at movies--at the depictions of someone else's hurt and sorrow because I compartmentalize mine so well that I don't conciously even know it's there.

It lurks behind my eyes and in my body. In my mind and my hands I am working, doing things, making things happen, making the next career move and the Next Big Step in my life transpire.

If I keep busy, keep my Eyes on the Prize, I won't t have time for feelings. They can be in a box in the back of a room somewhere in my brain. I can work on improving my Self and my Standing In The Community by building a solid reputation as a fairly decent freelance writer.

And I won't have time for sex because I'll be too busy.

I miss the crashing of bodies and the warmth of another in my space; breathing hard like a marathon runner and a heartbeat right up against mine.

I miss sex that was like heroin.

I miss it so bad that I can't even look at nor touch another.

I have to close that energy gap in my heart chakra. Let it heal over like a scraped knee. Don't pick the scab. Let it peel away naturally.

If I ignore it all, maybe it won't hurt as much. Maybe it will just feel like I'm getting over the flu. Maybe it will heal up and go away without me ever knowing it.

Maybe it will be over and gone before I know it.

Maybe...maybe...

--Tish G.
crossposted here

Dopey Decision Explained In Verse

Some bloggers think the Supreme Court's medical marijuana decision is illogical and hypocritical, while others think it's downright mean. So I figured I should let the Supreme Court Justices explain their dopey decision in verse. Here's how my poem starts:

Dopey Decision Explained In Verse
By Madeleine Begun Kane

"How dare you smoke that evil grass!
Your pain is no excuse.
The doctor who prescribed your weed,
We'll string up with a noose.

The state that told you toking's cool
Has overstepped the law..."

The rest of my Dopey Decision Explained In Verse is here.

Breasts and Animal Nature

Short but interesting post today at Johanna Draper Carlson's blog Cognitive Dissonance:

"I'm never sure where to look when I see a woman breast-feeding in public, but I'd rather see that than some teeny-bopper's butt cleavage and exposed thong. Yet the latter is ok, while the former gets dirty looks. Go figure."

Gave me a chuckle.

Some interesting comments as well.

A Pox On Cox's Nomination

In my latest post, I cite Ezra Klein, ThinkProgress, Eskow of skippy, and LeanLeft on the Chris Cox SEC nomination. Then I cap it off with my latest poem, which begins:

A Pox On Cox's Nomination
By Madeleine Begu Kane

Chris Cox is Dubya's nominee
To head the SEC.
A man who boosted corp'rate rights
With fervor, zeal, and glee.

A "champion of free enterprise,"
Pro-cov'ring up biz lies.
To understate the obvious, ...

The rest of A Pox On Cox's Nomination is here.

New Bush Limerick, New News & Politics Forum

My latest Bush limerick starts:
"Some Say That George Dub's A Lame Duck,
And that Dubya's agenda is stuck.
Can it be folks have noticed..."

The rest of my limerick is here.

Also, I've launched a news, politics, and humor forum here. There are forum sections devoted to topics including news and politics, feminist issues, polls and surveys, offbeat news, quotes of the day, etc. I hope you'll stop by and join the conversation.

Notes From A Newbie

Hello. I’ve been a Blog Sister for many months now, but have never made the time to introduce myself properly. So here goes.

My name is Marita Paige, and I live in the north-western part of the Island of Borneo in South East Asia. I work in the wildlife conservation scene here. I used to do a lot of jungle trekking as part of my work. Now I just do it for the sheer love of it.

I love animals, I love books, I love outdoor activities and exercise in general. I love travelling, but I hate plane rides and waiting at airports. I’ve been to Australia, New York, the U.K., Thailand and Singapore. And by the time I post this up, I would have been to Java.

I enjoy coming in here to browse the entries.

I can’t think of anything more to say, except that I will post entries here from time to time, and….come visit my blog!

Marita

The Immoderate Pact Song Parody

I'm very disturbed by the judicial filibuster deal made by the Senate "moderates." So I wrote a song parody which starts like this:

The Immoderate Pact Song Parody (Sing to When Johnny Comes Marching Home Again)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The "moderates" made a voting pact.
We're screwed, we're screwed.
The "moderates" got their power back.
We're screwed, we're screwed.
Their deal betrays our democracy.
We're stuck with dreadful nominees...

The rest of my Immoderate Pact Song Parody is here.

If y'all haven't already seen this one in the New York Times....

A new study sez: Blogs haven't displaced MSM.

The findings were announced at a conference yesterday in New York. Dave Sifry threw his $.02 in on the matter (see the article).

Curious indeed.

Tish G.

i'm hype. about. sri lanka. but. not. leeches!

Debz was telling all of us at BK that one of her friends went trekking in some parts of the hulu jungles of Malaysia. She had lots of leeches bites. Couple of months later, her friends commented on how pale she looked. She, being a heavy flow kinda person, also noticed that her monthly flow had been greatly reduced. She went to the doctor. He gave her pills. However, it remained the same. She went to the docs again. He advised her to get an Xray done. There was something in her body.

They (surgeons) cut her open and found a huge leech inside, practically feeding off her.

What the bloody fuck!

I am terrified. Paranoid and plain terrified. The leech which bit my leg was not found. Could it be...?

I feel like my nasty big sister stole my jump rope...

In case y'all didn't notice, Arianna Huffington started a blog.

(heavy sigh)

Blogging, in general, seems to me to be a populist medium. So what's the deal with someone who has every possible medium of communication at her disposal saying to the rest of us by starting a blog?

When I read the Washington Post article on this, the image of a Round Table conference at the Huffington Conclave popped into my head...and the Grande Damme of all this asking all the advisors "Vat is a blog and how do I get you all to do this thing for me so I look like I'm one of those Little People?"

I wonder sometimes about the future of blogs...that the quantifying and qualifying of blogs is something like the whole .com thing, and that we might see a massive bust after this celebrety boom.

In general, though, she's just bugging the bejezers out of me!

Tish G

(oh, I've got a new baby meta-blog here and chronicled my Mother's passing here.)

The Madness Is Back

I've been traveling and unable to post for a couple of weeks. So I thought I'd celebrate my return with a poem:

The Madness Returns
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I've been gone for two weeks.
Did I miss something good?
Didn't keep up with the news,
Though I know that I should.

I see Dub's not impeached,
And DeLay''s not in jail...

The rest of The Madness Is Back is here.

Grace

My parents married in June of 1946. My dad [Gunnar] was 21. My mom [Grace] was 23. This picture was taken in front of the house on the corner of 36th & Bloomington Avenue in south Minneapolis, where my dad grew up. His parents were August and Matilda. Longtime readers of this blog will know that Matilda was the original Tild.

Grace and Gunnar were married at St. Petri Lutheran Church in Nielsville, Minnesota, my mom's home town. Nielsville is located about 18 miles south of Crookston, up in the NW corner of the state, that area aka the Red River Valley. This photo was hand-tinted by Grace's youngest brother, my Uncle Helmer.
Isn't she beautiful?

Here we have the young marrieds doing their utmost to look suave, sophisticated and worldly during a trip to Washington DC in 1947. No, don't smile. Don't show your teeth. We are very serious and very grown up adults here! Not to mention sharp dressers. Smoooth.

This is one of my alltime favorite pictures of my mom. I think it was taken in 1947, or maybe 1948. One day Grace and Gunnar attended some kind of outdoor picnic with Grandma Tild and Grandpa August, and as you can see, Grace and Grandma Tild are washing up the dishes after lunch. Grandma Tild looks pretty harmless in this photo, but in actuality she was a domineering, fire-breathing old battle ax who never missed an opportunity to make my mom's life the proverbial Living Hell. Now look at Grace. Check out the defiant gaze, and especially the jutting lower lip. My mom was so pissed off at her horrible fiendish mother in law that day, you can almost see steam coming out of Grace's ears.
Go Mom! Priceless.

It's 1954 and my dad took this picture of his family in front of our house on 54th and James in south Minneapolis. My sister Diane is 6, and I am 2. I have absolutely no memory of ever being shorter than my mother, but apparently I was for a little while, and this photo proves it.

Today I am a Lutheran. Or something. This photo was taken at Mt. Olivet on my confirmation day in 1965, and it's the only time I have ever seen my mom, me, my dad and Grandma Tild all together in one photo. Also, please note that at age 13 I am taller than my mother, which in my world always seemed to be the natural order of things.

I didn't stop growing until I reached 5'11", as you can see in this photo of Gunnar, Grace and me taken around the time my sister got married in 1968. Both of us girls turned out to be much taller than our mother, and I believe that had a measurable effect on our personalities.
Grace was a 5'6", bubbly, strawberry blonde Betty Grable look-alike. She was warm and funny and talked a blue streak and drew people to her like moths to flame; like bees to honey; like whatever to whatever [insert favorite simile of your choice here]. I felt like King Kong standing next to her, and whenever possible preferred to step back into the shadows and let my mother shine. I don't remember ever begrudging her that. It's possible I did at the time, but I don't remember it now.

Mom had been a widow for 5 years when these photos were taken in 1984. She was 61 years old. My dad, Gunnar, died in 1979 at the age of 54. He died of congestive heart failure, complicated by scar tissue on his aorta and an enlarged 'athlete's heart', both consequences of having rheumatic fever when he was a child.
Grace continued to be out and about a good deal of the time, as she and Dad had always been, with a social life I'd have killed for.
She did volunteer work at the Shriners' Hospital; went out to dinner with her Eastern Star chapter, and her garden club, and her 500 club, and "the St. Mary's gang", all the gals she'd roomed with at a boarding house downtown near the Basilica during WWII, when they were all flighty young singles working at Honeywell, assembling steering controls for bombers by day, and dancing the night away every night. She always said that in those days she wore out a pair of shoes a week, from all the dancing.

This is Grace on Christmas Eve 1987. She looks tired, as well she might, considering she'd had a mastectomy three months before, and was undergoing a 6-month course of chemotherapy at this time. Her doctors were fairly confident they'd gotten all the cancer, so they said the chemo was really just a precaution, to make sure the cancer hadn't metastasized into the lymph nodes. Grace was tolerating the chemo well, altho the steroids made her face look kind of puffy and she also said the steroids gave her manic bursts of energy when she couldn't sit still or stop talking. Everybody who knew her wondered how she could tell the difference.

This turned out to be the last photo ever taken of my mother.

Less than two months later, on the morning of February 12, 1988, Grace called my sister and brother in law at 4:45 AM. She'd been out dancing until past 1 AM, then had come home and settled into bed but suddenly felt "kind of funny". It was strange, she said; like she couldn't catch her breath. My brother in law told her to hang up and call 911 right away. Grace lived only a few blocks away from Fairview Southdale Hospital in Edina, and the paramedics could reach her within minutes if necessary. She agreed to call 911, and hung up. My sister and her husband waited for a minute or two, then called 911 to confirm that Grace had called. Yes, the dispatcher said, and the paramedics were already on their way.

BIL then jumped in the car and headed for Grace's house, about 15 miles away. When he got there he saw a policeman standing at the front door, which was all splintered and off its hinges. The paramedics had arrived within 3 minutes of receiving Grace's call, yet she was already unable to get to the door, so the paramedics had to use a crowbar to break the door down. The policeman said that Grace had had a heart attack; she was alive but it was "very serious". The EMTs had taken her to nearby Fairview Southdale, all the while frantically working to revive her.

My sister called at about 5:30 AM and told us what was happening. We then picked her up and drove to the hospital together. I was seven months pregnant with my first child at the time.
We arrived at the hospital within 20 minutes of getting the call. My BIL George met us at the entrance and said: "I don't know how to say this, but Grace has passed away."

The cause of death was found to be pulmonary embolism: a large blood clot had formed somewhere in her lower extremities and had travelled upwards through her system to ultimately become lodged in a spot near the juncture of her heart and lungs. Death came very quickly; within minutes.
Grace was 64 years old.

It's a long time ago now; 17 years; so the pain has had time to get dull and familiar and I don't feel it as sharply as I did then. Not a day goes by that I don't miss her and wish she could see my kids as they're growing up. Well, maybe she is seeing the kids somehow; I hope so. I guess what I want is to be able to see her seeing the kids.

And these days I've started thinking of how she died as being rather a good way to go, since we're all gonna go sometime, some way. Think about it: Grace lived her life fully and actively and joyously right up to the very last moment. No drawn out withering away for her. No watching her slowly become unrecognizable as disease consumed her.

She went to a party on that last night. She went out dancing til past 1 in the morning. She went dancing.

Housekeeping Liberally

I'll bet there are a lot of us out here who would like to participate in the weekly get-togethers sponsored by our local Drinking Liberally chapters, but who for a variety of reasons are unable to take part.

In my case, I cannot attend for two reasons. Reason One: After smoking a pack and a half a day for 14 years, I quit smoking 20 years ago this October. Altho I have never had even a single puff off a cigarette in the years since, still not a day goes by that I don't find myself in a situation where I would kill for a cigarette just to help me mentally survive the next five minutes.

And the number one cigarette craving situation is...? Yes, that's right: a social gathering. And what kind of social gathering makes me crave cigarettes the most? You got it: a social gathering in a bar. And what kind of social gathering in a bar? Uh huh, the kind where I've never met any of the other people there. I would light up my first Marlboro within seconds of entering Liquor Lyle's, and after that I'd never quit. I'd smoke everything in sight and I wouldn't stop until I was reduced to a wizened dry husk of a creature who finally fell down dead in a cloud of bilious yellow-gray smoke and the paramedics would have to pry the last cig out of my grotesquely gnarled nicotine-stained fingers.

Reason Two: if I had a cigarette in one hand then I'd have to have a drink in the other, and I Can't. Hold. My. Liquor. Ever since the onset of menopause I haven't been able to handle even tiny amounts of alcohol. The last time I had a drink was on New Year's Eve, when we went out to dinner at a local steak house and I drank half of a very small glass of white zinfandel; no more than 3 oz., tops. By the time we left the restaurant my skin had started to glow bright red and my body temperature had risen to over 350 degrees Fahrenheit. When we got home, I went down to the basement, turned off the furnace and stood in a corner radiating warmth in the direction of the airducts, thus keeping our entire house heated all night long. Ultimately, that 3 oz. sip of wine helped us reduce our January fuel costs by over 50%. By Grapthar's Hammer, what a savings!

So, since I can't show solidarity with my fellow local liberals by Drinking Liberally, what can I do instead? As usual, a bit of the old AgitProp will have to do. I think it does pretty nicely, too.

Posted simultaneously-- What multi-tasking skills!-- here and here.

The Runaway Bride

Over the past few days, we've all found out how Jennifer Wilbanks got a serious case of Cold Feet and faked a kidnapping so that she wouldn't have to get married this past Saturday.

The wedding was to be a massive to-do--600 guest, 14 bridesmades and groomsmen, and, considering her fiance's father is a fomer mayor of Duluth, GA, alot of social pressure and responsibility.

I understand how she could have got cold feet. Marriage is hard. The odds aren't good. And when there is alot at stake at the social level along with the personal, it could make a girl freak.

Many people don't seem to understand how marriage is not just about love and living happily ever after. It is a social contract between families as well as individuals. It is also a social contract with one's secular community and one's community of faith (if one is involved in one).

With marriage, two people are not only promising to "love" one another but also to build a stable home where the individuals involved will care about and for one another into old age. And if there are children, they will raise those children to be productive members of society.

And if y'all don't believe how marriage can be about the social contract between two individuals and an entire community, look at the way the community of Duluth GA, not just Wilbanks' fiance, his family, her family and friends, are saying about her now. The community is feeling "betrayed" by the kidnapping hoax, and some are now calling for Wilbanks to be thrown in jail, or to at least pay for the overtime in the police investigation.

There isn't much sympathy from the community at large. And very little understanding over how a young woman from such high circumstances, whose marriage appeared to be a three-ring circus of joy, could run away from it.

Isn't the type and kind of wedding Jennifer Wilbanks, her finance, and all that extended family and friends planned every little girl's dream?

Perhaps not.

Perhaps Jennifer Wilbanks realized that there would be far more people involved in her marriage than she may have wanted.

Perhaps the thought of that much hoopla and the doors it would close after it was all over became far too much for Jennifer Wilbanks to bear. Perhaps what she really wanted was freedom, not all that personal, family, and social responsibility. Perhaps she wasn't ready for it, but didn't know or understand that she had the option to call it all off--that, sure, everybody would be seriously pissed off, but that faking a kidnapping might piss off more than just her immediate and massive group of family and friends.


Maybe all she wanted, after all, was her privacy and her freedom.

I don't think the community's anger is at the amount of overtime she owes the police force. I think it has more to do with her cold feet--and that the betrayal of the situation is more about how she denied them the fairy tale vision that her wedding was scripted to be...and the beautiful children and the perfect example of a loving couple that her life was supposed to be.

And I wonder how many of us can identify or sympathize with Jennifer, or if we are, like the community, self-righteously angry at her because she threw away such such a grand send-off and the projection of so much perfection.

Personally, I think she should have packed a bag, emptied the bank accounts, and left an "adios buddy, catch you later" letter. Do the good chicken-livered thing and end the relationship from a few states away. But I don't believe that crminal penalties are in order for a case of bad judgement predicated on the feeling of being stuck like a mouse in a humaine trap.

I'd be curious to hear how other Blogsisters feel about what Jennifer Wilbanks did.

Tish G.

The Blogher.org Weblog and Conference

One thing I've noticed as the blogHERcon or blogher event weblog takes shape is that it's developing its own great voice -- a combined voice of the participants there and the organizers. I'm really really really going to try to get to this event.

Believe me, I'm no world traveler. I'm no conference hopper. Hell, I've never been further west than Dallas, and that was for a client meeting, so this would be a big deal--becaus of the 'west coast' thing and because of the 'I work from home; going to the grocery store is a big deal' thing. Okay, going to the mail box is a big thing too.

So a trans-continental flight would be something else, complete with, I don't know, what do they give you these days on long flights--a movie maybe? A snack? A strip search?

AND I may have to bring our daughter with me if I go for lack of someone to watch her during July. Part of that excites me. Part of that exhausts me. Like the mailbox thing.

Anyway, if you live near the bay area, try to get to the event. They are even offering some scholarships for live-blogger participants. And the price isn't bad as far as conferences go.

If you live on the east coast, like me, feel free to perseverate with me!

If you live in one of the many wonderful countries not run by a big stupid goober, you should also check out blogher.org--the conference organizers are really trying to help women outside of the U.S. find ways to attend.

So, that's my roundup on blogher.org.

Maybe we can have our first annual blogsisters meetup there...

The War on Echinacea

Here in Hawaii the alternative health culture is strong. For the last month it has seemed that everywhere I turn I overhear someone talking about their fear of a new bill being voted on in Congress that would outlaw herbal supplements, such as echinacea. My natural response to alarmist dialog is to ignore it. I believe in the creative power of what we give our attention to and I'm not particularly interested in living a fear based life. Finally last night in a phone conversation a friend of mine started talking about her fear of the dreaded bill, so today I decided to do a little research.

I am not about to present myself as an expert in this area, but my initial take is to compare the threat of such regulation to our experiences with the "war on drugs" (and decades before with Prohibition). If it is a legitimate possibility that health supplements might be outlawed without an MD's prescription, I think that would make a huge inconvenience in getting these products, and would shut down the big companies that specialize in providing them to the many alternative health consumers who don't have health insurance. However, people would still get the supplements. They would have to find small local suppliers and the exchange would take place outside the tax system, but the laws of supply and demand supercede all government imposed laws.

Read the full article at www.indigo-ocean.com

What would you want high school kids to know about blogging.

I've been invited to be the "blogger" on a panel at a youth leadership conference. I don't have all the details yet, but I'm pretty sure that the whole panel will not be about blogging. Blogging will be one area represented. And I'm doing the representing. And so I'm wondering what would you want young bloggers and/or young potential bloggers to be aware of if they want to use their blogs to "make a difference" in the larger world. The audience will be kids who want to be leaders in the future.

Do you have your own "ethics" for determining what you blog and what you don't? Do you think there should be some regulations that determine what people blog? Have you ever gotten in trouble for something you blogged?

What I'd like to do is encourage the kids to try blogging, but to do so aware of the risks and pitfalls as well as the fun and benefits. What advice would you give them.

I will keep checking back here, so if you're so inclined, leave a comment or post something on our own weblog and put the link in a comment. I'd like to be able to reflect more than my own personal opinions when I open my big mouth on the panel.

In advance, thanks.

Free: 3 DVDs of The Corporation

April 23rd update:

Well, sharing this here turned out to be sort of a bust, no Sisters were interested, but if you're curious as to where the DVDs distributed through my own blog ended up, check out this link! :)

---

Original post:

Curious about the massive power that the multinational corporations yield and how they affect you (and everyone else) directly? Just email me a mailing address and watch this DVD which I will be happy to send you* free of charge, no tricks, no strings attached (then pass it on to friends, family, strangers... spark conversations, explore the numerous resources listed on the DVD or reflect on all this privately, it's up to you!). I want to help disseminate this information, this is my little "constructive action".

Education is crucial, it is only by learning to think for ourselves that we will begin to understand the consequences of our individual and collective actions, and choose to build a future that is fair and sustainable for all.

Synopsis (click here for more details)

The film is based on the book The Corporation: The Pathological Pursuit of Profit and Power by Joel Bakan.

*I have 3 copies left (see more on who I am/why I am doing this here), I'll wait until Friday evening (9pm EDT) then pick requests randomly if more than 3 people are interested. I'll update this post with the blogger names of the 3 recipients, or the States/countries where they are from, for more anonymity (don't worry, I won't post your real ID).

Duck and Cover--Catholic Style

I was a bit stunned today when I heard that Cardinal Ratzinger was made Pope.

When I heard commentary on BBC World News from a theologian at Georgetown that Ratzinger's main concern as Pope is the state of European Catholicism, I had to agree with this observation. There are many things that we in American do not understand about what is going on in Europe--a rising secularism that is nothing like what we have here, coupled with what was referred to as an "Islamicization."

I don't know if y'all will get what's meant by "Islamicization" and what all the hubub might be about, but, here's my take on it: there is a growing movement of Islam in Europe--and not just from more Muslims moving in. It is Europeans that are converting. This isn't all that good. These are mostly Europeans who are what would be called "unchurched"--meaning they have no understanding of religion or of faith at all.

While many of us here would say, "what's the problem with that?"...think about it a bit. The problem is that many who are unchurched suffer from a malaise of spirit which then leads them to accept belief systems that are counter to any progress that has been made.(yeah, go ahead, bitch at me about the language, but this is what it is)

People will accept a radical, reactionary form of Islam because it seems to hold the answers and promise them certainty on moral issues.

Kind of what born-again Christianity does in this country.

So, I understand where the "Islamicization" of Europe could be troubling--it's not that Muslim immigrants are the problem, but that troubled, unchurched Europeans are. And this becomes the answer to why Europe might need Ratzinger now.

But, Ratzinger is also a "fundamentalist" Catholic. Which could lead to problems for us over here.

Fundamentalist Catholisim is NOT (and I cannot stress this enough) anything like or even near Fundamentalist Protestant Christianity. We tend to think the two are the same--that's a result of the rising "protestantization" of Catholicims in this country.

Catholics here have allowed a level of "protestantization" so that we might be accepted by mainstream protestants...so that we might not be considered "demons" or "living under sufferage" here (as F.D.R once said) and be considered fully American. And, because of this, Catholics have been able to make strange bedfellows with some Fundies.

Oh, very bad move there.

Fundamentalist Christians don't necessarily like Mainstream Protestants (who the American Catholics have been trying to ape all these years)...And Mainstream Protestants don't necessarily like Ratzinger because of his support of
Opus Dei, an ultra-right Catholic lay movement (that Mel Gibson happens to be very much a part of).

Given that the main religious persuasion of this country is Protestant (with a down and dirty Fundie headding it) and since Fundamentalist Catholism is nothing like Fundamentalist Christianity, and the Fundies really don't like the Mainstreamers, and since the Mainstreamser hate Opus Dei (which Ratzinger has a fond apprecation of) I can only conculde that we Catholics could be seriously screwed in the near future (if things in this country keep moving towards the Fundie side).

The worst-case scenario: be prepared for some cross burnings on the lawns of the local Catholic church and a rise in pre-Kennedy discrimination.

I'm keeping my fingers crossed and saying a few good prayers.

--Tish G.
(and before some of y'all bitch at me further and start kvetching about the whole separation-of-church-and-state thing, read my blog entry on Ten Little Known Points About American Religious History)

Why Charles Barkley is My Soulmate

The other night, when I had way too much coffee and was up until around 2am surfing blogs, I also caught The Tonight Show...with Charles Barkley.

There was big old Charles, goofing it up with Jay....and then he started to make sense. Charles made a very cogent point that Liberals and Conservatives, esp. those who are hosts and commentators on the various television news programs, are nothing more than rich people serving their own interests. Basically, Charles was saying that these Liberals and Conservatives were only putting on shows and not really debating the issues, because, as rich people, the true isssues of this country don't effect them.

He hates both Fox and CNN--saying, truthfully, that they are both one in the same and are there just to further the agendas of rich people, not to forward a true liberal or conservative viewpoint. (hmmm...kind of like alot of "blogs" out there that like to purport they are run by "amateurs"...but that's another issue)

Charles went on to say that race is not the big issue in this country....it's social class.

OMG! Charles, I love you!

He went on to say (if I might distill his comments) that poor whites, blacks, and hispanics have more in common than they think--and that commonality is terrible public school educations and a system that works to keep all of them down.

This, coming from a black man who has been highly successful in the system and has a great deal of money.

He's also very right.

Both Liberals and Conservatives, in their own ways, play the race card as a way of stirring up the poor against one another. It was a tactic used during the Civil War to get poor whites in the South to fight for the Plantation owners when even they were bought and traded by their own kin...and in an insidious, covert way that was just as demeaning as open slave trade.

So, let's face it, I'm right and Charles is right--the rich trade on the fears and ignorance of the poor. They pit one group against the other with polemics and rhetoric guaranteed to stir up emotion against reason. They feed them a "street culture" that glorifies their ignornace and encourages violence against themselves. They keep the race issue alive because it serves their purpose--to keep them on top. The Liberal rich love affirmative action because it keeps poor whites from advancing by saying that poor whites, because of their skin color have the exact same opportunities as rich whites (even if their family structures and educations are vastly different). The Conservatives are against affirmative action because they know that, if you have enough money, your color doesn't really matter--you are better as an ally working to keep the rabble down and maintaining the status quo than you are in helping to advance others of your "race."

(Note: it's fascinating how, when someone in a minority family gains status, all generations of a family become huge paragons of virtue--it's the old Protestant idea that states you are blessed and among the saints if you gain money and success in the temporal world, and that this is predetermined by God. What a crock of shit. But a crock of shit that works for both Liberals and Conservatives. go figure)

If a guy like Charles Barkley can see this, and has the courage to get out there and say it, there is definitley something to it. Guess Charles either has enough power to not fear any retribution, or "they" just let him get away with saying that because he's perceived as a clown.

I'm not positive of either perception...I'm not sure of the current popular opinion on Charles.

Still I find him a fascinating man. Charles is, in many ways, a warrior who has not only learned the power of brain over brawn, but also has been able to turn nasty mouthyness into playful yet socially astute banter.

Too bad Jay has such a big stake in the status quo.

Tish G.

Feminist, Philosopher, Anti-Porn Activist Andrea Dworkin Dies

Just in case y'all haven't found out yet, Andrea Dworkin died over the weekend at hew Washington D.C. home which she shared with partner John Stoltenberg. She was 59.

An official obit appears here in The Guardian, and there is an interesting essay about her at Susie Bright's Journal(this is interesting as much for the comments as for Bright's essay).

I have never been a true fan of Dworkin's philosophy--felt the writing far too polemic and high strung to be of any use in a solid intellectual debate (although alot would disagree with me.)

I also felt that, deep down, there were many things plaguing Dworkin that should have been dealt with in ways other than the public forum.

Perhaps, though, someone needed to raise the negative-aspect issues of sex the way Dworkin did. Up to that point, the voices who had raised some doubts were pooh-pooed by the higher minds cloistered in the Ivory Tower. Dworkin's polemics were often like someone yelling "fire" in a crowded movie theater--and while you can have an idea what the consequences of that act will be, you can never fully realize its full effect or if there was that much of a fire in the first place.

Yet one of her more egrigious claims--that all heterosexual sex is rape--has had a far reaching and, I believe, stultifying effect on how we perceive female sexual freedom and sexual expression. By claiming this, Dworkin not only philosophically doomed most of us straight women to the gaols of victimhood and made our mates and lovers into criminals, but also, insidiously, set up a backlash that has worked hand-in-hand with the sex industry in convincing women that they are both feminist and empowered when they are selling sex (see my own polemic on the sex industryhere).

If the type and kind of sex you prefer to participate in is considered a crime (as in Dworkin) or when "sexual expression" is reduced to a commodity, where your power to refuse it is eventually taken away (as it often ends up in sex work) do you then have *any* true sexual expression or freedom?

Andrea Dworkin took her personal suffering and turned it into philosphy and politics When I heard of her death, I was glad to hear that she did not suffer. Death, knowing no philosophy nor politics, is often far kinder than life ever could be.

--Tish G.

Available Now At Newsstands... IN HELL

Culture Commandos

Republican He-Man magazine

Patriot or Terrorist?

Federal Dick

Cross-posted at Tild~

For My Reading Pleasure Only ..................

Many women from the Third World cite many reaons for loving their existence in the US of A.
Freedom from oppression, social and religious, an oppurtunity to forge an identity of their own etc.

I have a simple reason. I love the fact that I can check out books from the Public Libraries for free. In India I would have to be a member of some book equivalent of Blockbuster. And like the video rental store they would have plenty of copies of "popular" titles and very few if any of the writers who did not make it to best-sellers list in India. So no Andrea Lee/Sandra Cisneros but many, many copies of say the latest Danielle Steele. If I have to buy every book I read I would be broke - considering that I get through books really fast + I would probably never have a big enough home to accomodate all my paper possessions.

I am a member of the Minuteman Library in Cambridge. Even if I moved away I think I will be a member there. They treat me like a book-lover should be treated with trust and kindness. I don't know if I will have many acheivements to my name when I am through working but I will be happy if it read on my epitaph:

She never mutilated or lost a library book through all the years of her reading.

Of course I won't have an epitaph, I am Hindu but enjoy the public library everyone. It is a wonderful resource.

Happy Library Week

Guide For The Opera Impaired

I took a brief break from political humor -- just long enough to post my
Guide For The Opera Impaired,
which even includes "The Uniform Opera Plot Act" a/k/a "Leave No Opera Hater Behind."

Wrapping up Estrogen Month

As in, "in a neat tidy box so all you have to do is click on one post to find the archives." I've cross-posted this from my blog, and hope it will serve as a handy link for those asking the question "Where are all the women bloggers?" as well as those considering Estrogen Month for a Koufax 2005 nomination as Best Series. I'll also stick this link onto my blog's sidebar, pretty much where you'd expect to find it. Below is a handy-dandy table containing the links to almost all my Estrogen Month posts (sorry about all the blank space preceding it, it's my first-ever attempt at a table so I'm not sure how to get rid of the space):

Day 1	Day 2	Day 3	Day 4	Day 5	Day 6
Day 7	Day 8	Day 9	Day 10	Day 11	Day 12
Day 13	Day 14	Day 15	Day 16	Day 17	Day 18
Day 19	Day 20	Day 21	Day 22	Day 23	Day 24
Day 25	Day 26	Day 27	Day 28	Day 29	Day 30

And here's Day 31, 'cause March is like that with 31 days and all. I'm also going to repro the Photoshop I did on Day 19 just 'cause I got a kick out of doing it:

And of course don't forget the three permanent "Where the Women Bloggers Are" sections in my public Bloglines bookmarks, situated right beneath my "News+Views Gals" and "Kultcha Gals" sections.

Israel/Occupied Territories: Women carry the burden of conflict, occupation and patriarchy - Amnesty International

Israel/Occupied Territories: Women carry the burden of conflict, occupation and patriarchy - Amnesty International
Please follow that link to Amnesty International and take the actions they have set up there.

Peace