Dumb, Foolish, Idiot... you name it!!

Super mega stupid to the highest level!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ang laki kong tanga. Sarap ibaon ang sarili ko sa lupa :'(

Stupidity, stay away from me please

I can't believe what I just did. I poured my heart out to someone I thought would understand. I thought everything would be fine. But as usual, I was wrong again. I was stupid. So stupid that I want to bang my head on the wall. Yeah, poured my heart out. Careless, stupid move. I should have known better. I should have learned from my past mistakes. But here I am, the same old stupid girl that I have always been. Why is it so hard for me to go in the right track? Wisdom always eludes me. People say I'm smart. Yeah, many would agree. But just smart.. not wise. :(

New Year, New Country, New Beginnings

Hello 2011!!! It's been forever, I know! I never actually thought I'd one day go back to this blog and write down my thoughts again. It's not that there's nothing to blog about, it's just impossible to sit down and type away on my laptop when you have a two year old son running about. In my case, yeah I have to supervise him every minute of every day because if not, then all hell will absolutely break loose. Sounds like an exaggeration? Nah, if you've been with my son even for a mere five minutes, then you'll surely agree with me ;) Want to know how I ended up here again? There I was, eating my midnight snack and I suddenly thought about the things that happened to me and all that will probably happen in a few days. You might wonder why a few days.. well, that's because in a matter of 9 days, I'll be on my way across the globe to Canada. I have to leave everything and every person that matters to me (well, almost) behind.

I'm not sure what I'm feeling. Everything's mixed up. Excitement, dread, sadness, you name it.

When you've been born and raised in the same country, naturally you're so accustomed to everything that you'll somehow want to try and visit other places. I have traveled a few times already to some provinces in Northern and Southern Luzon, and once in Visayas for a fun vacation. But going to a different country and staying there for good is a different story. At first, I was so excited. I want to scream and jump up and down. I've been living a monotonous life for a few years now and I want that to change. I know that I've been given a great opportunity. I can start again and be more productive. Plus, I can at last leave all the drama behind. So yeah, I was very excited. But now that my flight date is so near, I can't help but feel sad. My friends and half of my relatives are here. Soon there are going to be weddings, birthdays and christenings. And I am not going to be around to witness these special moments of their lives. It's not that big of a deal, sure. It's just the thought of leaving everything you know and love behind. It is somewhat depressing, I assure you.

But this is what I want. This is the path I chose. I guess I'll just have to suck it up and put on a brave face.

%@&!#

I know I'm lenient.
Too much lenient.
So this ends here and now.
No going back.
Miss Goodie's gone.
The bitch is back.
And this time, she's bitchier than ever.

Farewell

I'm leaving this town.
I'm leaving this country.
I'm leaving everything behind.
Everything.
Every single thing.
Every single person.
Every memory.
Every joy.
Every pain.
No exceptions.
Everything.
Everyone.

Goodbye..

and good riddance.