Who the hell is Archimedes Pancake?
Archimedes Pancake is my imaginary friend. He's about 6 or 7 at the moment and he's looking for things to do. Anyone with kids knows that they get up to some monumentally stupid stunts, I know I did, and Archimedes is no different. Except that he's run out of things to do, and I don't want him doing the things I did as a kid because those interested in the adventures of young Archimedes will know it's just me. THEREFORE, I'm hoping to get a few emails from denizens of the world wide timetrap telling me some of the amazing things they got up to when they were kids. (Or wished they had.) I'm not concerned about accuracy here, or whether they're your ideas or someone else's.
Now, there are two ways to do this: send an email to Chatrat@graffiti.net to which I will respond....
or anonymously by using form mail at:
Chatrat
just don't fill your details in the form. All I get then is an email from mayor@powow.com and that's it.
If anyone chooses the second option, I'll set up a page with the contributions so we can all have a laugh.
NB: Anything to do with sticky tape or a foul tempered cat named Abdullah will win you undying friendship and free publicity!
Monday, January 14, 2002
Saturday, January 12, 2002
This world is an ever evolving and de-volving place. DwevskyX, a net-geek who rates with the best of them has a nearly fab website at http://dwev.net. It's got lovely graphics and useful things as well, it's sprinkled with humourous bits and pieces and is really quite a professional looking site. Until the end of November last year, that is. Now the site appears to be sliding into that eternal e-graveyard of unused and unloved sites that make cyberspace look like a journey back through time rather than the biggest garage sale imaginable. What's more, his mobile phone number has been disconnected and catching on the net in any chatrooms is like bumping into Elvis at a party.
Now, my idol on the world wide timetrap, Chris Locke - Rageboy, is proving to be more enigmatic than ever. Sometimes, when I'm being frivolous, I send him an email to which I often get a reply. But when I offer money - real gelt, not that Monopoly stuff - in exchange for a copy of his new book - both of them actually - he vacates cyberspace like the starship Enterprise out of the Neutral Zone. What gives?
I know what's happened!! He's eloped with DwevskyX!!! What a horrible thought! JJ, RB, I still love ya! But I'm going to get that book request to ya and a response outta ya if it's the last thing I do.
At present, I'm sitting in a cyber cafe in Prahran (Melbourne) on this Saturday, January 12 during a gay and lesbian street party which is as busy as a one armed taxi driver with crabs. (And there may just be one or two of those in the crowd.) Why? Because my arsewiping brother forbids me to use his room to get on the internet while he's home. It's my puter, my modem and my ISP, but the damn puter is in his room. Don't ask for more specific details, it involves death.
The Swamp is doing better now than it was 2 months ago. What that means is I'm posting with greater regularity but the subscriber base is still a pathetic 15 individuals. At least there are one or two I don't know personally. Interestingly enough though, someone has posted two editions of it at Mediapeak.com. Now, if you're really brave, you can go to google.com, search for Chatrat and it will give you direct access to those two newsletters. And what's more (I'm not ashamed to blow my own trumpet here) my name, Paul Ritchie, is actually in the first page of search results. I just wish I could get money for all this crap I do on the internet.
Never mind. Archimedes Pancake is still alive and well - although no submissions have yet been forthcoming from the wider community - anonymous or otherwise. So if you're feeling brave, email me at Chatrat@graffiti.net or if not, go to my humble website at www.powow.com/chatrat and use the form mail at the bottom of the page, and I just get it as Mayor@powow.com not you.
So go for it so lot's more people can get a good laugh at your misfortunes.
Also, while you're feeling charitable towards this lil Rat, subscribe to my newsletter: http://www.topica.com/lists/swamp/subscribe
It can't hurt and you may even get a laugh out of it - if you've read this far.
Lots of love and big girlie kisses on all your behinds,
Paul. (Aka ChatRat.)
Now, my idol on the world wide timetrap, Chris Locke - Rageboy, is proving to be more enigmatic than ever. Sometimes, when I'm being frivolous, I send him an email to which I often get a reply. But when I offer money - real gelt, not that Monopoly stuff - in exchange for a copy of his new book - both of them actually - he vacates cyberspace like the starship Enterprise out of the Neutral Zone. What gives?
I know what's happened!! He's eloped with DwevskyX!!! What a horrible thought! JJ, RB, I still love ya! But I'm going to get that book request to ya and a response outta ya if it's the last thing I do.
At present, I'm sitting in a cyber cafe in Prahran (Melbourne) on this Saturday, January 12 during a gay and lesbian street party which is as busy as a one armed taxi driver with crabs. (And there may just be one or two of those in the crowd.) Why? Because my arsewiping brother forbids me to use his room to get on the internet while he's home. It's my puter, my modem and my ISP, but the damn puter is in his room. Don't ask for more specific details, it involves death.
The Swamp is doing better now than it was 2 months ago. What that means is I'm posting with greater regularity but the subscriber base is still a pathetic 15 individuals. At least there are one or two I don't know personally. Interestingly enough though, someone has posted two editions of it at Mediapeak.com. Now, if you're really brave, you can go to google.com, search for Chatrat and it will give you direct access to those two newsletters. And what's more (I'm not ashamed to blow my own trumpet here) my name, Paul Ritchie, is actually in the first page of search results. I just wish I could get money for all this crap I do on the internet.
Never mind. Archimedes Pancake is still alive and well - although no submissions have yet been forthcoming from the wider community - anonymous or otherwise. So if you're feeling brave, email me at Chatrat@graffiti.net or if not, go to my humble website at www.powow.com/chatrat and use the form mail at the bottom of the page, and I just get it as Mayor@powow.com not you.
So go for it so lot's more people can get a good laugh at your misfortunes.
Also, while you're feeling charitable towards this lil Rat, subscribe to my newsletter: http://www.topica.com/lists/swamp/subscribe
It can't hurt and you may even get a laugh out of it - if you've read this far.
Lots of love and big girlie kisses on all your behinds,
Paul. (Aka ChatRat.)
Thursday, January 10, 2002
Well, now that all the festivities are over, we can get back to some good old fashioned cynicism without also being a party pooper.
Who the hell is Archimedes Pancake? Ask yourself this question when next you cast your eye across a roll of sticky tape. Wouldst thou care to know more? You know you want to.
In that case, visit my website at http://www.powow.com/chatrat and e-mail me by way of the jiggy boo at the bottom of the first page. If you can't be bothered doing that, try this one out:
http://www.topica.com/lists/swamp/read and check out the last newsletter I put out earlier this week - the one with Harry Potter in the title. Why? Because this is going to give you and all your e-friends a good laugh that's why. But like all good things, it needs to be crafted and teamwork is a laudable thing, so get yer ass on the team, it'll only take you one - just one - little effort and in a few short weeks, you'll get an email which, with a bit of luck, will achieve e-legend status. I know this, I've seen others like it that were made up on the spur of the moment by a single person. Imagine a world full of surfers making contributions. That URL again: http://www.powow.com/chatrat and the newsletter: http://www.topica.com/lists/swamp/read Do yourselves a favour!
Who the hell is Archimedes Pancake? Ask yourself this question when next you cast your eye across a roll of sticky tape. Wouldst thou care to know more? You know you want to.
In that case, visit my website at http://www.powow.com/chatrat and e-mail me by way of the jiggy boo at the bottom of the first page. If you can't be bothered doing that, try this one out:
http://www.topica.com/lists/swamp/read and check out the last newsletter I put out earlier this week - the one with Harry Potter in the title. Why? Because this is going to give you and all your e-friends a good laugh that's why. But like all good things, it needs to be crafted and teamwork is a laudable thing, so get yer ass on the team, it'll only take you one - just one - little effort and in a few short weeks, you'll get an email which, with a bit of luck, will achieve e-legend status. I know this, I've seen others like it that were made up on the spur of the moment by a single person. Imagine a world full of surfers making contributions. That URL again: http://www.powow.com/chatrat and the newsletter: http://www.topica.com/lists/swamp/read Do yourselves a favour!
Monday, December 24, 2001
Ho ho friggin' ho. It's Monday morning again, and it's Christmas day tomorrow. No work at the angel of automotive for three weeks. The cars of Melbourne are safer than they've been since the place closed for Christmas last year.
Although it has been written elsewhere, I feel I should write something about My Family and Other Animals. Just not here. My older brother takes his modem and runs away denying me of my rightful place on the internet. I run out and buy another one and his one magically re-appears the very same day.
The prick who pinched my IRC nick - ChatRat (obviously) has let it slip and I've got it back. I've also got Grape_Ape back so don't even think about it. Can you tell I'm in a sore mood?
I haven't been to visit my website yet, that comes a bit later today. I'm waiting for more people to use the automail jiggy boo at the bottom of the first page so I can do another page with all the contributions so far. Just at the moment, however, there aren't enough to bother doing it.
Several people describe the world wide timetrap as a big conversation. One of them even has a blog here. Go to www.rageboy.com and find out all about it. I would especially like to hear from anyone who speaks Italian fluently and that includes Italian slang. So if this is you, trot along to www.powow.com/chatrat and use the email jiggy boo at the bottom of the first page. I have something I'd like translated so I can do my next newsletter.
For all those who care, have a scintillating Christmas. For those who don't - like me - hurry up and get the BS over with so the rest of us can get back to doing what we like best.
Either way, I hope y'all get a lot of laughs.
Although it has been written elsewhere, I feel I should write something about My Family and Other Animals. Just not here. My older brother takes his modem and runs away denying me of my rightful place on the internet. I run out and buy another one and his one magically re-appears the very same day.
The prick who pinched my IRC nick - ChatRat (obviously) has let it slip and I've got it back. I've also got Grape_Ape back so don't even think about it. Can you tell I'm in a sore mood?
I haven't been to visit my website yet, that comes a bit later today. I'm waiting for more people to use the automail jiggy boo at the bottom of the first page so I can do another page with all the contributions so far. Just at the moment, however, there aren't enough to bother doing it.
Several people describe the world wide timetrap as a big conversation. One of them even has a blog here. Go to www.rageboy.com and find out all about it. I would especially like to hear from anyone who speaks Italian fluently and that includes Italian slang. So if this is you, trot along to www.powow.com/chatrat and use the email jiggy boo at the bottom of the first page. I have something I'd like translated so I can do my next newsletter.
For all those who care, have a scintillating Christmas. For those who don't - like me - hurry up and get the BS over with so the rest of us can get back to doing what we like best.
Either way, I hope y'all get a lot of laughs.
Monday, November 12, 2001
Monday friggin morning and I'm humming and harring about whether or not to go to work today, or whether I'm going to do some more brain exercises and put words on the world wide timewaste. I know which is more fun but I also know where the faster money is going to come from.
Anyway, the phone rings, it's the boss and he'll be round at my place in half an hour or so to pick me up.
The following paragraphs were removed due to the altered nature of the status quo and the fact that I'm sober. If you would like to know what went on here while your back was turned, I'm not surprised. Voyeurism is enormously prevalent on the internet as the proliferation of pornography sites on the big e-bog would indicate.
If this is the case, I suggest you find a nice quiet place out of direct sunlight and maturbate until the urge goes away.
In the meantime, and if the server is actually working, go play around with the email jiggy boo at the bottom of my page at:
ChatRat's Pad
Failing that, if you're feeling agitated or in some way superior to your fellow man, click on the following which will bring you back to real size and importance:
Rageboy
Lots of love,
Paul.
Anyway, the phone rings, it's the boss and he'll be round at my place in half an hour or so to pick me up.
The following paragraphs were removed due to the altered nature of the status quo and the fact that I'm sober. If you would like to know what went on here while your back was turned, I'm not surprised. Voyeurism is enormously prevalent on the internet as the proliferation of pornography sites on the big e-bog would indicate.
If this is the case, I suggest you find a nice quiet place out of direct sunlight and maturbate until the urge goes away.
In the meantime, and if the server is actually working, go play around with the email jiggy boo at the bottom of my page at:
ChatRat's Pad
Failing that, if you're feeling agitated or in some way superior to your fellow man, click on the following which will bring you back to real size and importance:
Rageboy
Lots of love,
Paul.
Friday, November 09, 2001
Well well well, here we are staring at each other through the ether. You're wondering what I'm doing here and the reality is that I fucked off hours ago and I'm probably having sex with someone else's wife right at this moment. What you are in reality staring at is a visual representation of an extraordinarily long lasting echo. Ever wondered what dogs are REALLY saying when the postman rides past? Well, Rex is now telling the postman he don't want no motherfuckin' flea powder from Afghanistan no more.
Anyway, I'm going back to what I was doing before I was so rudely interrupted. If you're VERY lucky, I might have more to blog about later. In the meantime, I have two other muddle puddles which you may care to read:
http://www.powow.com/chatrat
http://www.topica/com/lists/swamp/subscribe
or if you're too much of a pussy to subscribe;
http://www.topica.com/lists/swamp/read
Now. If you're REALLY brave, click on this:
Rageboy
Good day to you all.
Lots of love,
ChatRat
Anyway, I'm going back to what I was doing before I was so rudely interrupted. If you're VERY lucky, I might have more to blog about later. In the meantime, I have two other muddle puddles which you may care to read:
http://www.powow.com/chatrat
http://www.topica/com/lists/swamp/subscribe
or if you're too much of a pussy to subscribe;
http://www.topica.com/lists/swamp/read
Now. If you're REALLY brave, click on this:
Rageboy
Good day to you all.
Lots of love,
ChatRat
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