For Any Federal Judges Who May Be Interested...

The other day I was listening to a federal judge talk about, what federal judges like to talk about - how we lawyers should treat them, practice in front of them, and the things they hate.

So I thought I'd return the favor: (WARNING - attempts at humor are below)

[1] I understand that your day sometimes frees up due to a trial that ended in a guilty plea, or some other scheduling issue, but can you understand that when I am scheduled to appear at 2p.m., it does not necessarily mean that I have cleared my entire day, making it possible for you call my office at 10 a.m. and request that I "come over now?"

[2] If I take the podium and mistakenly say "good morning" and announce my appearance before you've asked for "appearances," can you not make a big deal out of it by making it clear that I've spoken out of turn?

[3] There are no awards, bonuses, or monumental legacies left by granting no continuances. If the Government thought every case should go to trial 31 days after arraignment, they wouldn't have a 70 day speedy trial rule.

[4] If I had a year or four to investigate my case, interview witnesses, and speak with the agents, I'd always be ready at the first calendar call too, and be saying things like "we're always ready judge." Really, I would.

[5] Are lawyers really that rude to your staff that you always have to tell us to "be nice" to everyone? Have you ever thought that......nevermind.



Brian Tannebaum is a criminal defense attorney in Miami, Florida practicing in state and federal court. To learn more about Brian and his firm, Tannebaum Weiss, please visit www.tannebaumweiss.com

The Cold Pathetic Heart Of The American Criminal Justice System

LINCOLN, Neb. -- A 10-year-old Lincoln girl dying of brain cancer has one wish -- for her father to be at her bedside.

It isn't likely to happen. Her father is in a federal prison in Yankton, S.D.

Vonda Yaeger is pleading with the warden for compassion to grant her daughter's wish.

"She wants her dad. She goes to her room crying because she wants her dad," Yaeger said.

Jason Yaeger was convicted of methamphetamine charges nearly five years ago and is scheduled to be released next year.

"We've never asked them to release him early. Never asked them to change anything. We've asked them to just give him some time to be here," Vonda Yaeger said.

Jayci Yaeger has been allowed three escorted visits with her father, but each trip lasts only a couple of hours and costs the family hundreds of dollars. Requests for longer furloughs have been denied.

"They say it doesn't constitute an extraordinary circumstance," Vonda Yaeger said.


Brian Tannebaum is a criminal defense attorney in Miami, Florida practicing in state and federal court. To learn more about Brian and his firm, Tannebaum Weiss, please visit www.tannebaumweiss.com

Voluntary Surrender Shenanigans

Six a.m., the number one time for police, federal agents, to bust in the house, wife and kids woken up crying, begging, "no, no, no!" "Don't take my Daddy." The wife asks "where are you taking him?" "Shut up lady, he's a criminal," she's told.

The truth is, just like my 5-year old likes to "press the button" on the elevator, law enforcement lives for these moments. These are the moments where the investigation ends, and the prize is the arrest, the "perp walk," the embarrassing scene in the neighborhood.

Many times, the future defendant is well aware of the pending arrest. He's been under investigation for months or even years, defense lawyers, prosecutors, and law enforcement have spoken and met.

Even in these situations, the "voluntary surrender" is something for which we beg.

This whole thing is embarrassing. Enough already.

The purpose of an arrest is to take the defendant into custody and present them before a judge or have them bonded out immediately. It's not a damn prize or game.

And I'm tired of prosecutors telling me "I'm not going to interfere with their desire to arrest your client." What are you all so afraid of? Tell the officers/agents, I know this defense attorney, he keeps his word, let his client surrender. If they say no, so be it.

Right now I have a police officer client. The arresting agency, another police department, wants to arrest him at his police station. Nice way to maintain that "fellow officer" thing." (UPDATE - THEY'VE AGREED TO A VOLUNTARY SURRENDER!)

I hear other stories from prosecutors about why the defendant can't surrender - my favorite - "ok, he can surrender, but not to the jail, to the police department, because they want him to ride in one of their police cars."

Let me not leave out all the mature people in our system that when asked about a voluntary surrender, say "I don't care about that."


Brian Tannebaum is a criminal defense attorney in Miami, Florida practicing in state and federal court. To learn more about Brian and his firm, Tannebaum Weiss, please visit www.tannebaumweiss.com

Why Criminal Defense Lawyers Hate The Media

When I joined the public defender's office out of law school I was told: "don't ever talk to the media."

I haven't followed that advice, to the chagrin of my colleagues in the defense bar who believe we shouldn't talk to the media, or are just upset that the media has no interest in their cases.

I don't hate the media, I think many of them have a philosophy about the justice system more in line with "us, then with "them." I just don't understand why they continue to piss off criminal defense lawyers on a daily basis.

If I have an opportunity to have the media report that I said my client is not guilty, I'll take it. If they want the "other side's" point of view because the prosecutor's press conference attacked the client harshly, I may try to soften the blow. My philosophy is that if there's going to be a story about my client being the worst person in the world, someone, like his lawyer, should be heard to say otherwise.

So here's some tips to our media friends:

1. Don't waste my time.

I'm happy to spend 5 minutes on the phone with you because you are not a lawyer and don't understand certain aspects of a criminal case.

I'm not happy to spend 20 minutes on the phone about my case, explaining the facts and other things you don't understand, only to read a story about the case that repeatedly quotes the prosecutor and makes it appear like the client has no lawyer, and we never spoke.

2. "My editor cut you out" and "I had a space issue," have run their course.

Do all of you in the media know that we hear these excuses daily? We would more believe the dog ate your homework. And why do you not tell your editor that the defense lawyer was very helpful in the story and you would at least like the story to be fair to both sides (THERE'S a concept!).

3. Listen.

Stop going to court, listening to the proceedings, and then catching me outside and asking "so what just happened?" That's getting old too. Pretend like you heard something like "granted, denied, trial next Monday, Not Guilty."

4. "Calls to the defense lawyer's office were not returned."

Factual, yes, gratuitously critical, yes. How about "the defense attorney was unable to be reached?" Saying the defense attorney did not return the call makes it appear like it was intentional. Gee, maybe the defense attorney didn't get the message, was out of town, or something else happened.

5. Be accurate, really accurate.

A plea of "not guilty" is a formal pleading filed in court. Sometimes it's announced in court. A plea of not guilty is not claiming "innocence," and therefore when the client 4 months later pleads guilty, it's inappropriate for you to do the whole "he previously said he was innocent......." Additionally, a continuance is a staple of the system. Almost every case is continued, more than once. Stop with the "another delay." The public eats this up, and blames the defense.We both know that many times the case is continued because the prosecutor has a witness problem, hasn't turned over a document, or is unavailable.


Brian Tannebaum is a criminal defense attorney in Miami, Florida practicing in state and federal court. To learn more about Brian and his firm, Tannebaum Weiss, please visit www.tannebaumweiss.com

The Criminal Defense Bar's Dirty Little Secret

Those in the legal field often say that "criminal lawyers are the only civil lawyers." This comes from the notion that civil lawyers spend their days fighting over money, and when people fight over money, they get nasty.

Well let me clue you in: we do that too. Well.....some of us do.

The concept of "stealing cases" is rampant in federal criminal practice. Federal cases are more lucrative than state cases, and federal practice is where you will find some cut throat crap amongst your "colleagues."

In federal cases, you can file a "temporary appearance" until you are retained. Reason being, once you file a "permanent appearance," you can't withdraw unless you die, or have a conflict of interest that involves something having to do with you dying. A temporary appearance is legalese for "they're trying to get the fee together."

A temporary appearance though, is like a rug to many fellow criminal defense lawyers - they'll walk right over it and go meet with your "temporary" client. They'll say you suck, they'll undercut you, they'll do anything to get the case. Anything.

I come from the school of "I won't take food out of your kids mouth." This means that I won't take cases from my friends.

In federal practice, you will learn soon that there is a difference between a "friend" and "very very very good friend."

Last week I had a lawyer call to tell me he saw I filed a temporary appearance and although he got a call to see the client, he was not going to see him without my consent. This has happened to me exactly once in my career.

I handled the case, until the client's family went to meet with another lawyer, who thought nothing of taking the case. He actually told me that he did not consider me a "social friend." His justification. He still doesn't know, because I didn't tell him, that I considered him a friend, and would not have met with the client's family knowing he was the lawyer. He also told me the clients were leaving me anyway and going somewhere else. My response to the clients had it been reversed, would have been what I said above - "I'm not going to be the lawyer to take food out of his kids mouth."

I've recently instituted a policy of not being anyone's second lawyer. Two reasons for this - 1. Most people who are not happy with their first lawyer will never be happy. 2. The others are being represented by my friends.

I have actually had colleagues argue with me about my practice and tell me that "we are in competition."

So maybe I'm a lone ranger in my philosophy, but I believe more in the notion of "what goes around....." well, you know, you, you, you and you - the thieves among us.


Brian Tannebaum is a criminal defense attorney in Miami, Florida practicing in state and federal court. To learn more about Brian and his firm, Tannebaum Weiss, please visit www.tannebaumweiss.com

Back From A Break: The Bench, My Friend Ben, And Bond

I haven't blogged here since Christmas Eve. I've been sitting back, and watching our system continue to deteriorate into a circus of bad clowns and elephant crap.

The Bench

During my break I noticed a lot of terrible things coming out of the judiciary, both locally and nationally. These robes must have some effect on otherwise normal human beings, or more likely they were never normal, and the robe brought it out.

I read about a first time offender sentenced to the maximum 15 years in prison after a trial where the prosecutor offered no jail pre-trial, a man denied bond on a misdemeanor for absolutely no reason, a man be told he cannot talk publically about his acquittal, an appellate judge at a cocktail party who responded to an acquittal in a terrorism trial by stating "well, some cases just shouldn't be tried to juries, and the best, a female cancer victim lawyer told she must take her hat off her bald head in court.

Nice.

My Friend Ben

Ben Kuehne was indicted by the "we don't target Miami criminal defense lawyers" DOJ. He was indicted for money laundering. Actually, he was indicted for providing an opinion to another criminal defense lawyer as to whether the money was clean. DOJ didn't like the opinion, and now they want Ben to go to prison.

Most people with a Bar card who know or know of Ben, are shocked, angered, and fully supportive. Others, can't get out of their own miserable world. You know, the "the Government is entitled to their day in court" folks? My opinion: the Government has enough days in court, they can skip this one. The fact that they didn't give Ben the benefit of the doubt is sickening, and will for a long time affect their standing at least in the South Florida legal market (both civil and criminal) and across the country.

Additionally, if you're one of those very few criminal defense lawyers who are saying "let's wait and see the evidence," keep walking when you see me. It's time to stand up and be counted in our profession, period. (See Resolution in support of Ben Kuehne by the Florida Association of Criminal Defense Lawyers)

As my friend Milt Hirsch said upon Ben's indictment: "It's official, it is now a crime to be a criminal defense lawyer."

Bond

Happy to report nothing ever changes in this business. Today I was continuing my audition in a federal case at a pre-trial detention hearing. The main issue was whether someone died as a result of some prescribed medications. This fact increased my client's sentencing guidelines from 5 years to over 20 years minimum. After a lengthy hearing the judge found the prosecutor did not meet his burden on that issue but that he may be a flight risk and reset the hearing to next week after announcing "I am going to set a bond." Next week she wants the family there to pledge assets.

Of course after the hearing I was fired.


So now I'm back, fully pissed off, and ready to resume writing.

Brian Tannebaum is a criminal defense attorney in Miami, Florida practicing in state and federal court. To learn more about Brian and his firm, Tannebaum Weiss, please visit www.tannebaumweiss.com

Bullshit

Something off-topic for Christmas Eve, a perfect assessment of how embarrassing we are as voters.


Poll: Bullshit Is Most Important Issue For 2008 Voters


Brian Tannebaum is a criminal defense attorney in Miami, Florida practicing in state and federal court. To learn more about Brian and his firm, Tannebaum Weiss, please visit www.tannebaumweiss.com

"This Is The Most Important Time In History To Be A Criminal Defense Attorney."

So said one of my hometown heroes of our profession, David O. Markus yesterday at the Miami Criminal Defense Bar's Holiday Seminar and Lunch.

As we end the year, we meaning criminal defense lawyers, (those of you who often come here after a google search of "criminal defense fees," or "how much does a criminal defense lawyer make," or more recently "michael vick," can take a pass on this post, this is for my colleagues.) many of us are beat, exhausted, hoping for a few days off without an irrelevant court hearing set in the middle of the next two weeks, and most importantly, thinking about our practices and the future.

I love what I do......about 28 days of the month. The other 2 are usually reserved for unfair judges, unreasonable prosecutors, clients who won't listen, and that case I didn't get.

But above all that is David's statement: "This Is The Most Important Time In History To Be A Criminal Defense Attorney."

It is. What is going on in the world, in our country, in Congress, the Supreme Court, our local courts, in state legislatures, the need for us as cornerstones of society cannot be questioned.

Technology is such that anything we do is recorded. I love the navigation in my car, and now I know from talking to a federal prosecutor that where I go can be downloaded. If you get arrested today for a misdemeanor in rural Mississippi, it will be on the computer at New York's JFK Airport within hours.

Society as a whole, hates us. Yes, there are many who understand and respect, and even treasure our role in society, but most think the system is obstructed by our presence. They would learn quick the ignorance of their thoughts if for only one week, not a single defense lawyer went to court in America.

So to my colleagues about to hopefully enjoy a few continuances into the end of the year, I leave you with this from the criminal defense attorney of 59 years who spoke as well yesterday, the great Albert Krieger:

"There is nothing more important in the life of the lawyer than to represent an individual charged with a crime."

Brian Tannebaum is a criminal defense attorney in Miami, Florida practicing in state and federal court. To learn more about Brian and his firm, Tannebaum Weiss, please visit www.tannebaumweiss.com

Want To Hire Me, Fire Your Other Lawyer, First

There are certain things that go on in the criminal practice that none of us talk about. Undercutting each other to get cases,traveling to other jurisdictions to take a case because of desperation for fees when a fully competent lawyer or several that we know and like practice in that jurisdiction, and taking over cases from other lawyers.

For the most part, we hate getting those calls from our colleagues that our client "came and met with me about his case and I'm going to be taking over." We see it as a failure and question the client's loyalty and truthfullness. Candidly, we hope for the worst for the client now that he's left us.

While I scan the net and see that the colleagues I respect are making decisions about how they practice when it comes to taking cases, cooperating with the government (more on that in another post forthcoming) trials, and fees, I've made one myself:

I will not talk to clients who are represented by another lawyer, period.

What happens is that the client gets concerned about their representation, they feel "nothing's going on," or more likely, they can't afford to continue paying their payment plan lawyer. (I don't do payment plans so that knocks out those clients from signing up with me anyway).

I used to meet with them, advise them to try to work things out with their lawyer, explain that they'd be paying a whole new fee, etc.... Most of the time they just wanted a second opinion, i.e., to waste my time for free.

New policy, instituted this week with someone. Call me and tell me you have a case, you're represented and are unhappy with your lawyer, my assistant will tell you to fire your lawyer if you're serious about new counsel. No meeting or conversation will occur with me until then.

Now how many of my colleagues are willing to join me?

In that answer lies one of the basic problems within the criminal defense bar.


Brian Tannebaum is a criminal defense attorney in Miami, Florida practicing in state and federal court. To learn more about Brian and his firm, Tannebaum Weiss, please visit www.tannebaumweiss.com

Bless The Divorce Lawyers

"I could never do what you do."

I hear that weekly.

I have always said the same thing about divorce lawyers.

Some of the stuff you all argue over, not to mention the constant "he dropped the kid off 3 minutes late, I want to go to court" after hours phone calls, make me wonder if you have the most difficult job as a lawyer.

So yesterday I reaffirm this notion when I'm in court on a restraining order hearing that is traveling along with my clients arrest for battery.

We come to an agreement on a short-term injunction. We agree to stay away from her, her house, her parents house, her family, all the typical stuff. Then, comes the portion of the hearing where I try to keep from laughing, or crying, but the eye rolling is fast and furious.

Judge: "What about all these clubs and restaurants?"

Me: "Judge, they both frequent these places and she would like him to stay out of them, although when the initial temporary order was signed it said he must stay 25 feet away if he's there at the same time as her."

Her lawyer: "Judge, she would like him to stay out of those places."

Judge: (Starts naming each of the clubs and restaurants and asking who goes there on what night, this goes on for a minute or two).

My client is getting antsy because he goes to one of the clubs on both Thursday and Friday and doesn't want to limit his visits to one night. He also throws her a bone by agreeing to stay out of one of them. The Martini Bar comes up and he won't budge.

At this point I remind myself I have clients facing prison time and ask the Judge to keep the 25 feet rule in place for each of them.

The alleged victim objects, she wants 50 feet. The Judge says some of these places may be to small for 50 feet, while her lawyer mentions that 25 feet is "a little close." The Judge says 25 feet is the distance from her bench to the front door of the courtroom, and I'm starting to chuckle, loudly. the Judge looks at me, not chuckling, because she goes through this hourly. She's not finding me disrespectful, she just looks amused that I find all of this funny.

Finally, the alleged victim proposes a compromise - 40 feet. I ask, annoyed, to leave it at 25 feet, and the Judge has the last word by ordering "50 feet if possible, 25 feet otherwise."

Then I went back to being a lawyer.

Brian Tannebaum is a criminal defense attorney in Miami, Florida practicing in state and federal court. To learn more about Brian and his firm, Tannebaum Weiss, please visit www.tannebaumweiss.com

A Lying Cop

Our criminal justice system is totally screwed up. No, I didn't just realize that, it's what keeps me doing what I do, defending the constitutional rights of those who are drawn into the system through arrest, or investigation. It is getting worse though.

Last week brought us this story about a teenage suspect who secretly recorded his interrogation on an MP3 player. The detective has been charged with perjury because he, oops, didn't know the kid was recording this interrogation and went into court and testified under oath that that the suspect "wasn't questioned" about a shooting. A transcript of the, hmmmmm, different facts, showed that he tried for more than an hour to persuade the kid Erik Crespo to confess.

During the false testimony of the detective, prosecutors asked for a recess and advised the lying cop to get a lawyer to represent him in his 12-count perjury indictment.

The kid's lawyer comments "I couldn't believe my ears."

Really?

This is in no way an indictment of police officers, most who take their oaths seriously, but c'mon, our system is full of liars. This type of conduct occurs daily. Lawyers lie, cops lie, witnesses lie. All in the name of conviction or acquittal, not justice.

For whatever you think of him, Harvard Law Professor and Author Alan Dershowitz spoke about this to Congress 10 years ago.

He said, in part: "I believe that no felony is committed more frequently in this country than the genre of perjury and false statements.

"Police perjury in criminal cases - particularly in the context of searches and
other exclusionary rule issues - is so pervasive that the former police chief of San Jose and Kansas City has estimated that "hundreds of thousands of law-enforcement officers commit felony perjury every year testifying about drug arrests" alone.

"Clearly, the most heinous brand of lying is the giving of false testimony
that results in the imprisonment or even execution of an innocent
person. Less egregious, but still quite serious, is false testimony that
results in the conviction of a person who committed the criminal
conduct, but whose rights were violated in a manner that would
preclude conviction if the police were to testify truthfully."

By the way, prosecutors offered Crespo less than the 25 years he was facing upon conviction. His mp3 player got him a plea to 7 years.


Brian Tannebaum is a criminal defense attorney in Miami, Florida practicing in state and federal court. To learn more about Brian and his firm, Tannebaum Weiss, please visit www.tannebaumweiss.com

Traffic Ticket Court

Yesterday I ventured into traffic ticket court. I don't go there all that often anymore. I know some of you "big criminal defense lawyers" scoff at traffic ticket lawyers, but they've got the greatest gig. They don't charge much, they have a steady stream of volume business (even though they continuously undercut each other by $10 just to get the edge), no one goes to jail, and for the most part, there's no prosecutor in court. What could be bad?

But yesterday I had one of those clients all of us criminal defense lawyers have; the old client, great client, client who wont walk into any courtroom without us, or just that client for which we have a soft spot.

Such was yesterday, and I was shaking my head at what I saw and overheard.

I'm not one of those criminal defense lawyers who "hates cops," or "hates prosecutors," but yesterday I saw some pretty sad behavior.

There were only 4 officers in court, but 3 of them were acting like they had arrested mass murderers, instead of merely handing over a citation for a minor traffic infraction.

I first heard one say "I had a great Thanksgiving, gave out a ton of tickets." "Yeah, I like to park by the high school the Wednesday before Thanksgiving every year and give tickets to the kids leaving."

He then went on to brag about arresting a doctor who refused to sign a citation. Truth be told, it is an arrestable offense. The officer has discretion to take the person to jail, or give them an additional ticket for refusing to sign. The officer was enjoying telling his story about taking the doctor to jail, and explaining how he listened to him apologize over and over again.

Another officer was getting annoyed answering questions from a lawyer who was trying to verify whether the officer was the one who gave the tickets to his various clients, for the purpose of advising his clients to plea guilty. At one point he said "now, I'm done talking." I could see a detective on a serious felony cutting a conversation short with a defense attorney, but this was a traffic ticket. When the lawyer walked away, he bad mouthed him for about 5 minutes in front of me, complaining about his behavior which was nothing more than conversational.

This was the same officer who told the judge that the woman who was ticketed for an expired registration and came to court with a new registration, should not be found to be in compliance because she had no proof the registration was valid on the day of the ticket.

Seriously.

The judge did not call cases out of turn for lawyers, but for officers. He explained that he does this because he "wants these officers out catching bank robbers, not sitting in an air conditioned courtroom on traffic tickets."

When I left after resolving my case, I saw the result of the judge's efforts to return these officers to the streets, as one of them was handing out a traffic ticket to someone outside the courthouse.

Brian Tannebaum is a criminal defense attorney in Miami, Florida practicing in state and federal court. To learn more about Brian and his firm, Tannebaum Weiss, please visit www.tannebaumweiss.com

Thanksgiving Redux

Because I have to leave for the airport 6 hours before my flight to get through the throngs of media reporting on the throngs of people, I will be lazy and re-post my Thanksgiving post from last year. Enjoy!

This Thanksgiving I am thankful for:

1. Families Against Minimum Mandatories (FAMM). A real organization, with real goals, and the most promise of achieving some of them.

2. Prosecutors who sincerely respect the role of the defense lawyer.

3. Prosecutors who don't sincerely respect the role of the defense lawyer and quit being a prosecutor to do insurance defense.

4. Judges who realize there is a whole world outside their courtroom. This world includes traffic, kids, vacations, clients waiting in the lobby, and trials that aren't ready to be trials, yet.

5. Cops who walk out of court after you cross-examine them and slap you on the back and say "good job."

6. Clients who appreciate, well, anything you do.

7. My kids, who don't see what I see everyday.

8. My wife, who loves what I do, because she loves me.

9. The fact that I do not have to advance an argument because "my supervisor" says so.

10. Any prosecutor who understands the gravity of their position.

11. Public Defenders

12. Public Defenders

13. Friendly clerks, bailiffs, and corrections officers.

14. Clients who have payment plans with their family, and pay you up front.

15. Any legislator, state or federal, who doesn't use the criminal statutes or sentencing guidelines as their focus for legislation, solely for the purpose of their re-election.

16. Anyone in government or the courts who believes we have gone WAYYYYYY overboard with minimum mandatory sentences, and is willing to do something about it, other than shake their head.

17. Defense lawyers who are in this business for something other than money.

18. Judges who exercise the independence they so covet.

19. Members of the public who think protecting the constitution is a noble profession even if they think the police "can search my house anytime, I've got nothing to hide."

20. Practicing the only law that really matters.

Brian Tannebaum is a criminal defense attorney in Miami, Florida practicing in state and federal court. To learn more about Brian and his firm, Tannebaum Weiss, please visit www.tannebaumweiss.com

Unhappy Criminal Defense Lawyers Get What They Ask For

This morning, one of our courthouse resident complainers was asking me how I handle clients that don't pay after I get them a great result.

I told him that doesn't happen to me. He chuckled until he realized I wasn't kidding.

He couldn't understand how I get paid up front or within 30 days in "tough times" like these.

I told him I insist, and yes, people walk out the door (probably to his office).

Think about it for a minute my colleagues. What would your practice be like if all fees were payable up front, or in a short period of time? What would you do if you never concerned yourself with deadbeat clients, or waiting desperately for the mail or a visit from a client or two with some money?

I know, you'd have less cases.

So?

I know, "you don't understand my clientele."

Yes I do.

We in the criminal defense bar get what we ask for. If we ask for very little, we get very little.

Isn't it time we concentrate on practicing law, instead of begging for money?



Brian Tannebaum is a criminal defense attorney in Miami, Florida practicing in state and federal court. To learn more about Brian and his firm, Tannebaum Weiss, please visit www.tannebaumweiss.com

Dear Prospective Client, Sitting In My Lobby

Welcome to my office and thank you for considering me to represent you in your case. Prior to our meeting, I thought it would be important for you to have some information about my practice.

[1] You are here today because someone, a former client, attorney, family member, friend, or just someone you trust gave me your name. I know this because I do not advertise or mail brochures to those "recently arrested." What this means to you is that I do not have a "volume" practice. A "volume" practice is one where the attorney advertises and has many clients. A lawyer who has a "volume" practice is able to charge lower fees based on the number of clients. There's nothing inherently wrong with a "volume" practice, it's just not my practice.

The difference between my practice and a "volume" practice is comparable to the difference between public and private school. The question being, would you like your child in a class with one teacher and 50 kids, or one teacher and 20 kids? If you want more attention, you need to pay for it. By the way, I went to public school and did just fine, but the consequences of not doing well weren't a conviction and jail.

[2] I may decline to represent you. I will most likely decline to represent you if you tell me that "this would be a good case for you." This means you may think it is a privilege for me to represent you. It may be, but I'll determine that.

I may also decline representation if I "just don't like" you. I enjoy my life. I'm not one who works 7 days a week, has no relationship with their kids, considers a vacation to be taking a Friday off, tolerates clients who believe that I am "on call" 24/7, or otherwise believes that the focus of my basic existence is clients. If I take your case, you will learn quickly how important you are and receive a great deal of attention, but if I believe we are not a good fit, I may do us both a favor and refer you to another criminal lawyer.

[3] When you called, if you asked about fees, you were told my minimum fee. The fact that you are here indicates that you either didn't ask or that this possible minimum fee is not as important as the quality of the lawyer you choose. If you didn't ask, I will let you know now that my minimum fee is ________ for a misdemeanor, ________for a felony, _________ for a federal case (feel free to insert other types of cases). If this is out of range for you, please thank my receptionist who greeted you today, give her back the coffee mug or glass, and drive safely.

[4] Regarding fees, they are not negotiable, and I do not arrange payment plans, except in very limited circumstances. Even in those limited circumstances, it's not a payment plan that includes more than 2 payments. What this means is that you should avoid asking me if I can "make it lower," "give a bigger discount (especially if I've already discounted the fee for some reason)," or "how is it paid?" Again, you may consider it a privilege for me to represent you, but it is not a privilege for which I am willing to pay.

[5] One last thing on fees. The fee I quote you is good for 24 hours. Based on my experience, if a client hasn't retained me in 24 hours, they are "shopping" for the lowest bidder, or have no intention of retaining me. I'd rather not think about it for more than a day. It just annoys me.

[6] Finally, there will be no taking of notes. It's more important that you listen to me and that we can talk without any distraction. In the end, your notes will only provide a method to remind me, and the Bar Association of things I said that may not come true. Such as me telling you that your "case can probably be resolved quickly," or that "your case is complicated and will take a lot of work." My predictions are merely that, predictions. They are not spoken for you to memorialize my words so that every time we talk in the future you can remind me of what I said.

Thanks for coming, I'll be with you shortly.




Brian Tannebaum is a criminal defense attorney in Miami, Florida practicing in state and federal court. To learn more about Brian and his firm, Tannebaum Weiss, please visit www.tannebaumweiss.com

A Call For Larry Craig To Stand Up For Defendants (Cue The Crickets)

Richard Cohen of the Washington Post writes this great editorial today on why Larry Craig should speak out for those that are coerced to confess.

I'll hold my breath......

Some quotes from the editorial entitled "When a person is arrested and coerced to confess"

"Having been arrested in a Minneapolis airport men's room, having been compelled (or so he says) into a false confession, having been roundly ridiculed and ostracized by many of his colleagues -- et tu, McCain? -- he has neither the gumption nor the integrity nor the wit to question some of his former positions that made him, without a doubt, a law-and-order conservative par excellence. Craig wasn't exposed as gay. He was exposed as uneducable."

"Along with almost everyone else outside the Republican Senate Caucus -- when the door opens the blast of toxic hypocrisy is enough to deck the average person."

"....why doesn't he say he learned something from the incident? Maybe he wants to reconsider his votes in favor of restricting death-penalty appeals because he now knows that the cops can arrest the wrong person and get him to confess. Look, it happened to him."

"....surely if a three-term U.S. senator can be pressured into confessing to a crime that he insists he did not commit, then something similar can happen to a rattled, undereducated kid who thinks the deck is stacked and is promised a reduced sentence."

"Craig and others who voted to restrict penalty appeals and for mandatory sentences and for one penalty for crack and another for cocaine ought to ponder what happened to him -- what he said happened and what actually might have happened."

Brian Tannebaum is a criminal defense attorney in Miami, Florida practicing in state and federal court. To learn more about Brian and his firm, Tannebaum Weiss, please visit www.tannebaumweiss.com

Am I The Only Criminal Lawyer This Happens To?

Where have I been?

Getting angry. Going through that occasional "what's happening to our criminal justice system?"

In the past few weeks I've both personally and in the news seen the following:

1. A Texas inmate on the verge of execution denied an appeal and then executed because the Court of Appeals told his lawyers who were running late due to a computer malfunction, "we close at 5."

2. A man pardoned after being sentenced to 25 years in prison for possessing too many pain killers. 25 years!

3. Two separate prosecutors, federal and state, completely ignore polygraph results. (When are we going to get right with this polygraph thing?)

4. A man arrested at his home by 2 police officers who knocked on his door on a Sunday night while he was with his family, did the whole "we got a 911 call from this residence can you step outside" thing, and then took him to jail for.........missing his arraignment on the charge of failing to display the proper commercial vehicle markings on his truck.

So I haven't had the passion to write anything. Although these are individually things I could write all day about, combined, they cause me to shake my head and wonder if anyone's watching.

They are, they're all on the newspaper websites. You notice this? Every news story now has a comment section, and when it's a criminal law story, the opinions fly. They are mostly of two schools of thought:

1. The defendant should "fry" for his crime; or,
2. The defendant should go to jail forever.

That gets me into the phrase my dear friend said at a recent seminar. He said something to the effect that in our criminal justice syttem today only two things happen, they either kill you, or leave you alone.

I'll be back next week, still a bit "annoyed" by it all.


Brian Tannebaum is a criminal defense attorney in Miami, Florida practicing in state and federal court. To learn more about Brian and his firm, Tannebaum Weiss, please visit www.tannebaumweiss.com

"Who is OJ Simpson?"

This is what my 8 year old asked repeatedly the other night as I was discussing the case with my wife. After asking a couple times, I looked at her and realized she was born 5 years after the not guilty verdict in the murder case. She wasn't just doing that "I need to know everyone you are talking about" thing that little kids do, she really had never heard of OJ Simpson.

This has nothing to do with what I will write here, it's just an anecdote that puts some things in perspective.

Here's my thoughts on the latest "OJ."

[1] In my legal opinion, looking at the media reports, reading the police report, and having no working knowledge of Nevada law (as do not a one of the "legal experts" pontificating on TV), the case is in a word, stupid.

[2] It's as much an "armed robbery" as a burglary with assault is when an ex-boyfriend is prevented from going into his ex girlfriend's house to "get his shit," and as a result, he pushes her away from blocking the door.

[3] Anyone else, and hotel security would have walked in the room and made everyone leave.

[4] The case has revived the "talking head" market on cable television. I have one question, can they not find a single criminal defense lawyer from Vegas who actually knows the law and procedure there, instead of lawyers from California, New York, Florida, and every other state? Do they not want to hear what "IS" going to happen, instead of playing the guessing game? "Well, I don't know the law in Vegas, but in Tupelo Mississippi, OJ would........."

[5] OJ will not go to jail. The case will fall apart. He will plea to a misdemeanor and be on probation, which he will violate by doing something stupid, for which he will also not go to jail.

[6] The case is only important because the vast majority of people think he got away with murder.

[7] I am one of those people in [6].

[8] Now that OJ is back home (10 minutes from my house), the media will begin their "are we covering OJ too much?" I know this because yesterday's big story was......."who is OJ's girlfriend?"

[9] People are annoyed by the accusation that we are obsessed with celebrity justice, because the truth is that as a society, we just can't help ourselves. What else are we going to pay attention to, health care? Education? All that other stuff? GIVE US MORE OJ!!!!!

Brian Tannebaum is a criminal defense attorney in Miami, Florida practicing in state and federal court. To learn more about Brian and his firm, Tannebaum Weiss, please visit www.tannebaumweiss.com

"As appalling as it sounds, in Ohio a mistake is not a crime"

This is what I heard this morning from a reporter on the Today show regarding an Ohio mother who left her 2 year old child in the car for 8 hours, and found her dead at the end of the day.

The mother went to buy doughnuts and thought she had dropped her daughter off. She went to her job as an assistant principal, and came out to her car at the end of the day to find her child dead in 150 degree heat inside her car.

So I hear this, and get a deep pain in my stomach. I have 2 young children. I can't imagine. How dreadful. This mom, who has a reputation of being a good person, left her kid in the car and now she's dead.

In Ohio, a prosecution for this only occurs if there is "recklessness," not just "negligence." So as the reporter said, "In Ohio, a mistake is not a crime."

But that's appalling to some. In fact, there is outrage in Ohio that this mom is not going to jail. The child welfare office is investigating whether she is fit to take care of her 5 year old.

Guess who's speaking out in her defense? The prosecutor who decided he could not prosecute.

But there's outrage. Why? Because we live in a society where we've been conditioned that every human failure should require jail. It makes me sick. Every single time there's a mere car accident reported on the news, the story ends with "no word on whether the driver will face charges," or "charges are pending." Pending what? Your next report? Charges aren't pending until they're filed. The fact that a police officer was called to the scene doesn't mean "charges are pending."

My thoughts here are not really about the media though. They're about those in Ohio, and maybe around the country who are "appalled" that this mother won't be charged.

Let me ask you something? You think she cares? You think she needs to "learn a lesson?" How about a judge or jury telling her she's "guilty?" Maybe she needs someone or some body of people to advise her that she is "guilty" for leaving her baby in the car. Maybe the system should teach her to "never leave her 2 year old in the car by mistake again."

Maybe, as the prosecutor said this morning, the fact that she will have to live everyday of her life knowing she did this," isn't enough for you.

Put yourself in her shoes, if you can stomach the thought.

Brian Tannebaum is a criminal defense attorney in Miami, Florida practicing in state and federal court. To learn more about Brian and his firm, Tannebaum Weiss, please visit www.tannebaumweiss.com

Thank You Senator Larry Craig

"I am not gay" Senator Larry Craig, conservative anti-gay rights Republican, of....Idaho? (it just doesn't get worse on the hypocrisy front) has given criminal defense lawyers a 3 word perfect answer to those potential clients who ask one of the most recurring and dumbest questions I hear:

"If I hire a lawyer, won't I look guilty?"

See, Senator Craig was arrested for, ahem, some fancy hand and foot signals in a public restroom in the Minneapolis Airport in June, indicating he wanted sex with who later become known to him as, damn, an undercover cop. Oops.

Craig quietly went in to court pro-se (without a liberal criminal defense lawyer) and pled to a reduced non-sex charge of disorderly conduct.

People are screaming why an innocent man would plea guilty. That makes me laugh, hard. Happens every day folks. He said he "wanted to make it go away," and it did. For a while at least.

Now he says he wasn't guilty, shouldn't have pled guilty and is, hey, hiring a lawyer to withdraw his plea. I don't know the law in Minnesota, but I bet it's too late.

Too late Larry.

So when a potential client asks that ridiculous question about whether "hiring a lawyer makes me look guilty," answer "Remember Senator Craig?"

Brian Tannebaum is a criminal defense attorney in Miami, Florida practicing in state and federal court. To learn more about Brian and his firm, Tannebaum Weiss, please visit www.tannebaumweiss.com