$1 Million in Cigarettes Sold to Inmates

But where did the money go?

A Judge Calls Out the Federal Sentencing System

Rather powerful words.

Sorry, But Failure to Have Sex is Not a Crime

Not even if its because your husband refuses to sleep with you.

New Chief Constable: A Year Later

Not as well beloved.

Post-Conviction Recant by State's Witness

Basically, he says the State forced him to testify upon threat of more time.

M&M Art in Prison

It's innovative and probably a great way to pass time. Oh, and it angers the powers that be.

Commonwealth Attorney ConferenceThe Old Worry Supplanted by a New

Okay, the Commonwealth Attorneys are all off on there get together/CLE yesterday, today, and tomorrow. These used to worry me because the prosecutors would come back with some fairly novel new approaches to the law:

Prosecutor: Your Honor, we're going to ask for the death penalty in this case.

Judge: Mr. Smith, this is a jaywalking case.

Prosecutor: I understand that your Honor. Under the new statute passed by the General Assembly as interpreted by Commonwealth v. Rankoov we can assert the death penalty as long as the misdemeanor doesn't specifically call for jail time.

Judge: If you say so counselor.

Me: (sputter) em, er, eh, WHAT!?!

Of course, that's not as much a concern as it has been in previous years. This year I suppose I should be more worried about the people with whom I've been bumping heads for the last seven years or so having interesting conversations with the guy who's going to be paying my salary pretty soon.

Hmmmm . . .

Here's a Defense Which Needs to Fall Flat on Its Face

Child Rape as Religious Freedom:

"I'm a pedophile. I've been a pedophile for 20 years. The only reason I'm charged with rape is that no one believes a child can consent to sex. The role of my ministry is to get these cases out of the courtrooms."

Not that I think anyone should take any part of this defense seriously, but it even fails its own internal logic. Among the kids he is charged with molesting are two disabled and seven autistic boys.

Will we enforce other countries' internet laws despite the fact that it's not illegal here?

Being an Ex-Mayor Doesn't Get You Bond

Do white collar defendants get appeal bonds more often than street level defendants?

Case Dismissed! Now go back to jail . . .

. . . and serve two months because we forget to release you.

Public Defender Clothes.

Dog Kills Elvis' Teddy Bear

An insurance company requires that a guard dog be put in a room with a bunch of rare, collector stuffed animals - guess how much damage a doberman can do in a room full of stuffed toys.

C'mon guys, my labrador is one of the calmest dogs in the world and he rips up stuffed animals like he's mad. I don't think anyone who has ever owned a dog would think putting a doberman in this room is a good idea.

Seems Like a Lot of Effort

It looks like a Trooper in Pennsylvania is going to get his day in court after all.

One judge refused to sign off on a warrant for drunk driving when the Trooper tried to charge the passenger. The drunk passenger admitted holding the steering wheel for the driver while the driver took a bite out of his sandwich. A different judge signed the warrant.

This is one of those news stories where I just don't feel like I'm getting the entire story . . .

Will They or Won't They?

If you ever think that our death penalty is inhumane, take a glance over at Iran. They're trying to decide whether a woman should be stoned to death.

Even the Judge Gets No Pro

Remind me never to move to Detroit.

No less than a judge gets mugged. His car keys are stolen. He tells the police. They say they'll keep an eye on his vehicles.

The next morning the cars are gone.

If that's the level of protection a judge gets, I'd be doomed.

News Flash!!!!

People are shoplifting to get money for drugs! Fences are buying the shoplifted items from the addicts!

Yep, it's truly shocking. 'Cuz anybody who has worked in criminal law figures this out in about his first 15 minutes of practice.

I cannot tell you how many times I've represented the "cutout." The more serious criminal always seems to be a step away from where the catchable crime occurs. Almost always he tries to maintain some level of deniability. My client will be caught shoplifting anything from steaks to baby formula to computers. He wasn't sent there by whomever he's going to sell the stuff to, but there's a reason that he's stealing baby formula rather than trail mix. He knows what he can sell to get enough money to buy a few rocks. Or perhaps he knows what he can trade to his dealer who will then sell it to the fence. Either way, business as the fence is always more lucrative and less dangerous.

Long Jail Sentence

In order to get a threat across to a girlfriend a guy snaps the necks of 10 puppies.

We got judges around here who would send you to the pen for the rest of your life for that. Not sure they'd be wrong.

Ireland: Vandalism Excused

Okay, if I understand this correctly, it's a defense (or, more likely over there a defence) to destruction of property if it is opposition of a war which is possible (hadn't started yet). However, if the bailee of the property tries to defend it he is breaking the law.

Yesterday's Truly Important News

No Soriano trade!

Maybe once I move to Wise I'll be outside of the blackout zone and able to actually watch a Nats home game. Can someone please explain the logic of blacking out a 7 p.m. game on a Tuesday night when there's no way people who have jobs can drive up to DC, watch a game, and get back to the Richmond area sometime after midnight?

And, oh yeah, there was a bit of a buzz because some yutz is changing his job.

An Interesting Question

"My question is whether or not the state has a moral obligation to forgive those that commit unlawful acts. Should the state, at some point, forgive an individual who has repented (i.e. served time, probation, remained law abiding, is rehabilitated) by sealing the criminal record from public view, erasing any collateral consequences associated with the conviction, offering a certificate of rehabilitation, etc. Forgiveness, from what I understand, is a Judeo-Christian virtue. Is there a place for it in the secular state? Can the secular state forgive people?"

Blatantly plagiarized from Mirror of Justice.

It's Legal . . .

. . . but is it legitimate?

How Every Well Equipped Prisoner is Arming Himself

The Art of the Shiv.

Thanks to William Drenttel.

It's a Law School Question

You see a friend getting in a fight with a bunch of guys. You shoot at the people fighting with your friend. The bullet hits your friend in the back of the head, killing him.

What's the charge?

Not Terrorism

If you are a Syrian-American and you get mad at other Syrian-Americans it's probably not a good idea to make false terrorism claims against them.

Euros for Everybody

Now we can all counterfeit Euros.

It's not murder . . .

. . . if you buy the drugs together.

If you decide to become a prostitute . . .

. . . you might want to keep your boyfriend in the dark.

I Now Know How to Get Published in a Harvard Law Review

All I gotta do is get myself thrown in prison.

Okay, I just wanted to make sure I got everybody's attention.

As of September 01, the Lammers Law Office is closing its doors and I am moving to Wise County, Virginia to take the job of Deputy Commonwealth Attorney.

How did that happen? I'm glad you asked.

To begin with, I wanted to move closer to where I grew up (Lexington, Kentucky), where I went to college (Danville, Kentucky), and where my parents live (Cincinnati, Ohio). On and off over the last few years I have considered taking the Kentucky Bar exam (no reciprocal waiver) and moving back that way, perhaps (because I like the mountains) to Ashland. A couple things made me hesitant to do this. First, I did not want to take another bar exam. Second, I wasn't very thrilled by the idea of having to learn an entirely different set of laws and procedures.

Additionally, I had noticed a disturbing trend in the funding of my practice. Most of you know I've been doing indigent defense. This has never been wildly profitable. However, when I first started I was making enough money - especially before I actually got office space. This was because I was getting a lot of misdemeanors and minor felonies. Quick turn around and not too much work meant the practice stayed afloat. Then a terrible thing seems to have happened: the judges started to think I was competent enough to be given serious cases. These cases ate a lot of time and effort and were more emotionally draining. Slowly the business became less able to sustain itself; a few times in the last three years I came very close to closing down the office and practicing from my apartment and the courthouses again. As a business matter, I should have found a way to walk away from the more serious cases, and moved to more profitable areas such as GAL work (where court appointed attorneys can actually make very good money). However, like a moth to a flame, I found myself drawn to the more interesting legal questions and arguments in the serious criminal cases and it's not like you can tell a judge "No sir, I won't take this indigent case because I know it won't be profitable."

Then came the perfect storm. Earlier this year I had 5 or 6 clients decide to appeal their cases. Then I had a couple of guys decide to take jury trials. All of these are money losers in both terms of money paid for work done and opportunity loss costs (if you're not in court to be appointed to cases because you're at the office researching and writing you lose the income from those cases). Three of the petitions for appeal were accepted (and another should have been). This meant time dedicated to getting the briefs written, appendixes prepared, and prepping to actually go argue. The legal issues were extremely interesting and I don't regret the time spent in the least. However, untold, unpaid hours were lost to the endeavor. And the jury trials were even worse. Because the clients were locked up travel to see them at various prisons took a lot of time. One case fizzled on the trial date after about 20 hours+ of work (pled to a misdemeanor), and I got my $428 for that case. The other was over 40 hours by the time the jury trial ended and I'm still waiting to do the sentencing hearing; I'll get $445 when all is said and done. Needless to say, the money situation at my office has gotten tight.

The seed which was planted about me asking Chad Dotson (BTW, Chad was the original Sheriff a relation?) for a job came from an unusual source. You'll remember that a while back a blogger using the pen name "Libertas" asked some questions about Chad and what was going on in Wise. I posted a reply at CrimLaw and Libertas sent me an email asking me if the could quote my reply and what my ties with Chad were. I told him there were no ties - however, Libertas got me thinking . . .

Then, one day I was glancing thru the Virginia Lawyer's Weekly and saw an ad that Chad was hiring. I put it up on the blog and then put it up again later. Chad even posted a comment joking with me about giving him a call if I ever decided to cross over. A joke he may yet come to regret. ;-)

After having the ad up the second time I started thinking about it and did a little bit of research. I'd been to Wise a couple times in my life and knew it is a beautiful area. I was also able to get a pretty good idea what the courthouse looks like inside and out (although that seems to vary from picture to picture - this is my favorite). I talked to some people whom I know have lived there and a junior prosecutor whom I trust about what life's like on the other side. I also figured out that Wise borders Kentucky. As a crow flies, it's probably about as close to Lexington as the place in Kentucky I was considering and it's about 4 hours from Cincinnati - AND I wouldn't have to take another bar or learn an entirely new system. If only it paid $250,000 a year it'd be absolutely perfect; as it is it's still pretty dawg-on good.

And then I thought back to some advice which surfaced from Professor Groot when he passed last year (though not given to me it seemed apropos):

Groot: "You know, Mr. Sullivan, if you enjoy Criminal Law, you should think about a job as a prosecutor."

Sullivan: "Mr. Groot, there is no way I would work for the government."

Groot: "Mr. Sullivan, having chosen the profession of intellectual prostitution, you should worry less about who is paying you and more about making sure you get paid."

BTW, for those of you who don't know - that's a Grootism and if you didn't got to W&L you may not get the humor/truth. That's okay, you had to know Groot (he wasn't exactly a prosecutor's best friend: "At the time of Groot's death, none of his clients had been sent to death row").

With all this in mind, I decided it was "time to put out the fire and call in the dogs." I wrote Chad an email asking if he would entertain the notion of hiring me and he was kind enough to do so. The next thing I knew I was trying to get out of rental agreements and hand off cases and dates to other attorneys. Now it's just a matter of getting thru that last month of private practice and getting moved out to Wise.

How will this effect the blawg?

I'm not sure at this point. The news links will most likely continue with little change outside of whatever change comes from experiential bias when I have experienced the other side. Stories about what has actually happened as part of court are likely to be far less common; when you are always in one courthouse and people are working to appeal your result the problems which could occur are fairly obvious. I'm not sure exactly where I'll draw the line, but it will have to be stricter than I currently have it. BTW: Chad has not said a word to me about this and NOTHING ON THIS BLOG IS REFLECTIVE OF ANYTHING IN THE WISE COUNTY COMMONWEALTH'S OFFICE.

And that's the way it is. I look forward to your comments.