Update

Nothing Going On.

It is strange how one day you can feel like the whole world is weighing so heavily on your shoulders, and the next, barely recognize that the day before you felt so discouraged. I guess it just takes a while to put it all in perspective that's all. Sometimes there are things that just can't be helped. I hate that, but it's real, and there is no way around it.

Our children aren't always what we expected, our lives aren't always what we expected, things don't always turn out the way we planned. I trod along every day thinking my marriage is made of stone, and that nothing can ever change that, I picture us together the rest of our lives, and then there is a disagreement, or an argument, and for a split second I think, "What if we never make up?" "What if we don't ever reach an agreement?" For me that is a cold and dreaded thought because I have truly dedicated myself to the idea that he and I will be together forever, as long as we live, period, end of subject.

Then it happens one cold morning, we have an argument that ends bitterly without words, in silence. Silence is such a deadly thing to let enter a marriage. Silence builds on so many weaknesses, it will drive a wedge, and do the worst thing possible: cause distrust. Not distrust in the obvious way like, I can't trust you to leave the house without seeking out another woman's company, no, it's much more sinister than that, it is when you wonder, is there a possibility that this person does not want to spend the rest of his life with me, and they are just playing along? Oh it's such an awful feeling, it hurts so deep in my soul just to think of the possibility.

That is why you "don't go to bed angry with each other", that old saying that older, and wiser people tell young people in love. I remember being told that so much when I first got married, and I thought, "well, what if you're tired?" So, we went to bed angry, and woke up angry, and we stewed, and we ignored each other, and I absolutely would never want to go through that again. I HATE the silent treatment. I think it's cruel, mean and petty. It lends an ear to all sorts of demons, doubts and mistrust.

It is in those times, when we are too upset to speak to each other that I realize how fragile a marriage can be. That one fight, one big long unresolved argument can drive a wedge the size of Texas in there, and there isn't a damn thing that's going to remove it other than a court of law. I hate the thought of that, but like a tango, it takes two people, and they have to agree to not let a small crack in the bedrock become an enormous canyon that will divide, and separate us.

It's not always easy. I don't mean that just from my perspective either, I know he feels the same sorrows and pains when we fight. I guess it will just take time for souls to heal.

Account Violators

Email Rapers.

I think it's terrible that someone would stoop to the level of violating someone's personal privacy and get into their email account, and not only that, but that they would publish such on the web. I have no idea where the emails are posted, and I would refuse to even look at them. No website of any credit should be willing to publish such things, but we know scum exist as do low life websites.

As this topic was discussed this morning, I found myself thinking what a horrible violation that it is. What these hackers have done is no less repugnant than peeking in a person's window and watching them undress. They have gone even a step future and published the evidence of their perverted deeds. It is disgusting.

Civilized people should be truly outraged by these filthy acts, and yet, what is even more sickening are the talking heads that suggest that we somehow need to be privy to the contents of this woman's hacked email account. I want no part in it, I don't want to know what's in her emails, and anyone of any sort of class at all would refuse to be a witness to anything produced by such a violation.

So Tell Me

What's the Deal?

Are 95% of the men in America impotent or what? I mean, I don't mean to be crude, but why not, I can't watch 30 minutes of television without being inundated with numerous ads for erectile dysfunction pills. I know more about Levitra, Cialis, and Viagra than I ever wished to know. It's really my biggest pet peeve right now, I'm tired of it.

Oh sure, I could change the channel, but guess what, the commercials are on the next channel and the next channel. It's annoying.

No, you know what it is, the pills must not be selling enough because American men are so virile. I don't mean that sarcastically at all, I mean that sincerely, stud muffins that they are. I thank God I was born in this country where women aren't treated as less important than the family goat. I wish everyone had the rights and freedoms we have. I really do.

But, I'm really sick and tired of those commercials.

Before I Read Any Other Blogs

I Want To Speak My Mind.

I'm dying to see what all of my favorite bloggers have been writing about all of the current political happenings, but first I want to put down my observations before I read others. First and foremost, I LOVE Sarah Palin. I watched the speech tonight, and found myself in awe. She's so incredibly plain spoken, and brave, and that line about the difference between a hockey mom and a pit-bull being lipstick was hilarious! Just Wow!

I've never been a big fan of McCain's, but I have to say, this campaign has brought me from highs to lows to highs again. Before I say anything else, this is going to shock people, but I tell you, I really like Obama. I never thought I would say that, but I really do. I like him so much that I even considered voting for him. That's how strong his charisma factor is with me. When I hear him speak I think to myself, he seems so good, so honest, so genuine, I like him. BUT, then reality sets in, and I remember what exactly he stands for, and it's nothing that I stand for. Nothing.

The truth is, Obama is more of the same extreme liberal politics that have infested so many of our institutions of today. Our schools, our courts, our work places, our media, our entertainment, so many of these are completely and unabashedly left leaning, and/or left controlled. The conservatives I work with speak in whispers amongst themselves, ever cautious of "offending" the delicate flowers who will quickly run to management if a conservative dare do so much as defend an unborn child's right to live. We're not supposed to speak about these things you see. Luckily, conservatives are pretty good at spotting a loon quick enough, and know to hold their tongues around these types, when in the work place at least.

I watched as much of both conventions as I possibly could, and even though I had a momentary lapse of sanity and actually considered voting for Obama, I've come around again. All it took was listening to a liberal attack Palin 5 minutes after she was announced. It was disgusting. It was disgusting when I accidentally flipped to MSNBC and some commentator was saying, "we will see how she explains this pregnancy of her 17 year old, and her husband's dui when he was 22 years old" Oh for crying out loud, you have got to be kidding me.

Anyway, I always knew I would vote for the conservative candidate, McCain was not my choice, but I believe he is a good man, and will make a great president. My choice is made, and it will be McCain. Other notable mentions though, Fred Thompson and Rudy Guliani totally ROCK!

Now, I've just got to go read blogs and see what's being said. Back later!