welcome, Sarina Gita!

What a pleasure to hear your momma say that your birth, a triumphant VBAC, was the proudest moment of her life! And deservedly so, given that she had to fight hard for support for this birth and then pushed for three hours after a very long early, then very fast natural labor until your 10lb 2oz, 22.5" body emerged...a joyous day! Your dad supported your mom through those long, frustrating early hours and some intense contractions before I got there...he found just the right way to hold your mom's feet so that she felt safe and secure.
Never doubt how powerful you or your momma are...Welcome to this world, little one!

perspective

if I start to feel nervous about the triathlon I'm doing, I'll think of this (fyi - get a tissue handy)

and the Darwin award goes to...

the young hipster teen girl riding her skateboard down the slight hill into town, headed for a blind intersection, without a helmet (but with an oh-so-cool ski cap in August), iPod earbuds hanging around her neck, wearing a backpack and *talking on a cell phone*. The cell phone was the kicker for me. How did I get such a good look? I slowed way down in case she hit a bump & fell into my path - she was sort of in the middle of the road.
It occurred to me too late that perhaps I should have pulled over and said, "I know I'm not your mom but I bet your parents would be horrified to see you doing such a dumb, dangerous thing"...I wouldn't mind someone saying that to my kid if he were doing this. I'm sure it wouldn't have been happily received & I know not every parent would want someone to say that to their child.
At least she wasn't texting, I guess.

But I can also recall my own Darwin-worthy days of eating breakfast, adjusting the radio and applying mascara all while driving to high school...I'm sure if cell phones existed I would have been talking on one too...

I wonder how to reach kids and let them know how serious this stuff is...how it's called an accident because you don't plan for it to happen (even if it's foreseeable).

too many interests, too little time

It's been so busy that something's had to give & it's been this blog...I think I'll be able to post more regularly after the triathlon on September 13...coming up soon and still in training! To be continued!...

welcome, Adele!

Though your labor started on your due date of August 18, you decided to be born at 2:19am on August 20 - a long haul for your folks! But once you decided to get serious, you didn't keep us waiting long. How is it that you made every piece of machinery in the place go wacky? I bet you are going to be a powerful woman.
Your momma was so beautifully focused, strong and present and your dad cried tears of joy when he saw you emerge and got to discover and tell us all that you were a girl. How cool that you are rockin' some lovely eyebrows - not all babies are so lucky!
Welcome to this world, Adele - it was an honor to be there, in such a warm environment of trust and peace, when you joined us here.

If men had uteruses

There is an excellent NY Times op-ed piece by always-impressive Nicholas Kristof called "Crises in the Operating Room" about the utter lack of focus by world powers on birth resources in developing countries. While our fight here is against too much and unnecessary intervention, in other countries life-saving intervention can be hard to come by for those in poverty...the single birth story in the op-ed is chilling.

Here's the meat of the piece:

If men had uteruses, “paternity wards” would get resources, ambulances would transport pregnant men to hospitals free of charge, deliveries would be free, and the Group of 8 industrialized nations would make paternal mortality a top priority. One of the most lethal forms of sex discrimination is this systematic inattention to reproductive health care, from family planning to childbirth — so long as those who die are impoverished, voiceless women.Thankfully, there is the dawn of a global movement against maternal mortality. Prime Minister Gordon Brown of Britain and the United Nations secretary general, Ban Ki-moon, are trying to work with the United States and other countries to hold a landmark global health session at the U.N. focusing, in part, on maternal health. If that comes to pass, on Sept. 23, it will be a milestone. My dream is that Barack and Michelle Obama will leap forward and adopt this cause — and transform the prospects for so many young women like Shazia.

Also check out a follow up piece, in which Kristof says,

"Interestingly, in the U.S., maternal mortality remained very, very high even as the United States enjoyed economic development and improved overall health in the 19th century."

Seriously, read all his stories on birth - I hope those in power start listening.

"over here, Mr. President"

Check out Pushed author Jennifer Block's wonderful new piece, "Where's The Birth Plan",on birth as it relates to health care reform, or rather how it seems to be getting short shrift in the reform debate. Where's the outrage? Where's the common sense?

There are so many working models (at least where birth practices are concerned) from which to learn if we really want to reform...cheaper+better outcomes - isn't that what we should be after? No need to reinvent the wheel or keep limping along with this flat tire of a system we currently have.

Here's a quote to whet your appetite,

In other words, our for-profit system not only rewards the overuse of intervention even if it leads to more sick babies; in some cases, it depends on it.

So, if this system is broken, and this system is wasting public funds, and this system is harming women and babies, why isn't fixing it part of the national conversation on health reform?

no gender stereotypes here

My 5yo has a play date over - a little girl from camp who is the sister of middle son's friend. They are so sweet together and seem to be holding hands a lot... Anyway, I just served a snack since the middle kids have a swim meet & we will all eat late; toasted cheese sandwiches and watermelon, in case you're wondering. I put the food on a pink plate & a blue plate...just happened to be what I took out but I assumed she would go for pink and he would want blue. I was wrong. I kind of like that they didn't notice or care.

Doula care: Midwifery Today interviews Penny Simpkin

man on the moon

priorities

This morning my 8yo was teasing my 5yo about having a girlfriend - something the 5yo denies is true (and protested a bit too much, so he probably does have one!).

I said it was OK either way & nothing to make fun about. I asked my 8yo is he had one (and considered not using the term girlfriend but rather "someone special" - don't want to put him in any boxes - but I said girlfriend). His reply:

No...not yet. I'm not ready. A lot of people want them, but I'm waiting. Maybe when I get a cell phone. Or maybe on my 9th birthday.

"and that's the way it is"

Another touchstone in American life has passed...rest in peace, Walter Cronkite.
My family frequently watched and discussed the news as we ate dinner and so I (felt like I) had dinner with Walter Cronkite often!
My Cronkite story: I was backpacking in Greece, getting ready to go back to London, where I was living (as a student) at the time. There were ferry hijackings & stuff happening so there was major security at the airport in Athens. Soldiers with machine guns and such. I guess jetways were a risk so they transported us to the tarmac on a shuttle bus. I was feeling a bit nervous until I realized that I was standing next to Mr. Cronkite. I looked at him with recognition and he smiled, nodded & said hi - and I felt completely safe...his voice was so calming. And somehow I felt if he was there it must be OK. I will forever remember him fondly.

c-sections before 39 weeks - how you can help

Laura Shanley, of Bornfree/unassisted birth movement is looking to bring attention to the creation of premature babies via unnecessary early cesareans and she would like women to help...read on:

I am looking for women nationwide who can participate in media interviews to
promote a new educational campaign from The March of Dimes and United
Healthcare aimed at informing women and physicians about the risks
associated with C-sections before 39 weeks of gestation. I am looking for:
1. Women who are currently pregnant and feel strongly about carrying the
baby the full term (more than 39 weeks) and not having a C-section, unless
the procedure is medically indicated; 2. Women who have previously had a
C-section before 39 weeks gestation and felt the procedure was unnecessary
or had the baby end up in the NICU.

Please contact me at laurashanley@comcast.net
<mailto:laurashanley@comcast.net> and I will connect you with my son, Will
Shanley, who is the west coast director of public relations for United
Healthcare. Will is reaching out to print journalists across the nation and
encouraging them to write news stories about the new March of Dimes campaign
and the risks associated with early C-section.

Thanks in advance for your help in telling this important story!

Much love,
Laura

Laura Shanley
Bornfree! The Unassisted Childbirth Page

evolution

This morning my youngest said he had to go to the bathroom on the way to his first day of camp. If he had been my first or only, I'm pretty sure I would have stopped someplace. But since he's my third, I instead said, "ok - tell your camp counselor when we get there sweetie". Tough times growing up the youngest, I guess!

oh - and it didn't even occur to me to take pictures...oh well - I can always capture day TWO of camp!

watch politicians discuss breastfeeding

A piece on Huffington Post showed a Senate committee on Tuesday discussing breastfeeding and legislation that would make it easier for working moms...a bit awkward, but the committee did the right thing and voted in favor...

...allowing mothers more freedom to breastfeed longer after giving birth has obvious health benefits for the children. While Congress debates how to balance health care reform and costs, Merkley's amendment also could have economic ripples. According to the press release from the Oregon Democrat's office comes this statistic: "A recent study by the United Breastfeeding Committee found that if half of the babies in the U.S. were exclusively breastfed for six months, we would realize potential savings of up to $14 billion a year in health care costs for childhood illnesses."

Yowza...$14 billion a year in savings!

when he grows up

Recently my youngest, five, told me (and then told my husband a few days later) that when he grows up he wants to "be a dad and make art". Totally makes sense because he will sit for hours and draw, color or paint. One of my other kids overheard and told him he couldn't just be an artist because then he wouldn't make any money. Wow - such complexities from these kids of mine...

My youngest asked me if that was true and if you had to make money. I told him that some artists do make money, that he should try to find a way to do what he loved and still make some money because he might feel sad if he worked only to make money, but since at least some money is necessary, he could always make art, whether that was his paying job or not.

Hey - maybe he could become an attorney and then decide that being an art-making doula suits him more!

welcome Lola Rosemarie!

My oh my - you were worth the wait - 10lb 5oz! Your momma discovered her voice and sang powerfully throughout her labor with you...
Wish you had been here in time to see the most incredible crescent moon and then the spectacular sky at sunrise...a beautiful day to be born.
I hope your beginner's luck at nursing continues - most impressive!
Welcome, little "peach"!

Gardasil followup

Not sure of the date of this clip - but it seems like this is an ongoing news story...note that they say this vaccine is safer than most by about 50%...not very comforting in light of the clip.

a nicer mom

Backhanded complement? Hmm...
Last week I overheard my middle son tell my youngest,

"We're lucky we don't have a nicer mom, otherwise our house would get so messy...luckily mom complains all the time for us to put our shoes away and stuff"

Gulp. I DO constantly, err "remind", sometimes LOUDLY, to "take your shoes off why are your backpacks in the middle of the floor turn off the lights feed your hamster close the door turn it down don't eat in there PLEASE flush the toilet wash your hands do your homework take off your muddy socks..." and on and on, over and over. I get so sick of hearing myself nag. I try to assign jobs but no one really seems to take it seriously or keep up consistently, including me...I'm pretty lame at following routines, frankly, and so I totally get that I'm part of the problem (and then there's my husband...oooh boy)

And I get resentful. Ugly thoughts about ungratefulness. Though I try not to use that word because I was often called it as a kid and found it hurtful. But I still think it. Does anyone notice or care that I'm constantly picking up and doing all the things that parents who are mostly at home do? Does anyone appreciate it? Appreciate me? Maybe if I bang around childishly when unloading the dishwasher again, someone will notice and say thanks! Ha. Such a cliche...

So here's my question:
How do you manifest kinder feelings about the mundane tasks around the house? How do you get your families to do what needs to be done without so much haranguing? I have hopes of turning this frown upside down and figuring out a way to get everyone involved so I'm less grumpy and they are better prepared for life. What's working for you?
SOS - please send a lifeline so my kids don't have to give backhanded complements...'cause I prefer them straight up!

can't imagine

"A supporter of Iran's moderate presidential candidate Mirhossein Mousavi holds a piece of paper that reads "We write Mousavi, they read Ahmadinejad" " -Reuters

over the last few days I have been listening to reports on the election in Iran. Wow. Can you imagine the fury people are feeling at having the sense that their election may have been tampered with/stolen and then discover that texting, cell phone and internet access had been blocked? Rallies have been banned, but people are gathering anyway, in spite of riot police and retaliation.
I keep trying to put myself in their place - what I would have felt like if our election last November had gone differently and then we were denied the ability to connect and express ourselves about it. It is younger, more moderate people who will now feel disenfranchised. Truly horrid.

The good news:

Source: www.npr.org

State television quoted Ayatollah Ali Khamenei ordering an investigation into allegations of election fraud, marking a stunning turnaround and offering hope to opposition forces protesting the re-election of President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.