THE END. Our Engagement.

Alright people, sorry for leaving you hanging. Its been a busy week with a mix of sick kids, drew double busy and then being sick, me not having a computer and not being able to find pictures for this post. haha Without further adieu, here is our engagement.

I finished my internship mid August. Drew came to Utah one last time to move me back to Oregon. Happy day, we were going to be living minutes apart instead of hours and hours! We got engaged on September 8th, 2006. He had set me up (lied to me) thinking we were going to some work dinner. Thinking about it now, I really don't know how I believed this.....well I kind of do, but its still doesn't make much sense to me now. Drew worked as a security guard at Target. No way would they ever get all the security guards together for some work dinner. But Drew even changed his sisters name in his phone to his bosses name and had her text things about the dinner to him. (Sometimes I wonder how I trust him. haha) He is good.

So I'm thinking we are going to a somewhat nice dinner on a Friday night. Drew had really been preparing all week for our engagement. (Note: Drew and I had previously gone ring shopping and I found THE ring in a matter of minutes. It was at the first place we went. At first I didn't think I wanted to shop for the ring, I just wanted Drew to pick it out. But then I got nervous not knowing what I really wanted because I'd never tried on an engagement ring before. And I wanted to love the ring Drew was proposing with and wanted it to be the ring I wear forever. I'm glad we went together. One, because it was so fun to do together. Two, because I had pictured something totally different than what I ended up getting and I LOVE it.)

Anyway, Friday comes around and Drew was "working" all day. A few hours before he was supposed to pick me up, he text me and told me to find a note he had left me on the window seat at my parents house. There was a sweet note and a shirt he bought me to wear that night. Now you would think that I would already think something was up. But by now you know Drew. Its not out of character at all for him to do cute things like that. So, I didn't think anything of it besides thinking how sweet and thoughtful it was. I got ready to go. Another text comes from Drew, I'm outside. Ready when you are. Usually he would come inside and get me so that was a little odd I thought. I walked outside and he was waiting by a black Ford Mustang he had borrowed from one of his friends. That is when I knew we weren't going to a work dinner.

I asked him what we were doing, where were we going? He would only answer me saying, "who, what?" We drove around Hillsboro a little bit. Past Grocery Outlet, we went by his friend Jason house and he picked something up. (Drew was living at his friend Jason's house at this time.) There he had another note and gift for me. I can't remember what it was but the rest of the night was filled with little mini notes and small gifts to go with it. The next place we ended up at was some property outside of Hillsboro. There I saw some small airplanes and I was a bit confused. I didn't think we would actually be going up in one of them. But oh we did! It was amazing and a little scary. haha We flew to the coast, where we were supposed to land but the weather wasn't good. That was the scary part, the ride to the coast was a little turbulent in that little plane. I was clinging to Drew pretty tight. Drews original plan was for us to get to watch the sunset on the beach and then fly back into Portland. With the bad weather, we watched the sunset from the plane. It was BEAUTIFUL. We took a lot of pictures. (I can't find them right now.)

(On the airplane, it was so cool.)

We landed at the Portland airport and from there went to the waterfront to kill some time before our dinner reservations. We walked along the waterfront blowing bubbles and laughing with/at each other. It was such a fun time. We went to the restaurant Rock Bottom, in down town Portland for dinner. It was delicious. In the middle of dinner, Drew had arranged with a waiter to drop a bouquet of flowers off at our table for me. They had another sweet little note with them. If you haven't caught on yet, Drew tied a lot of the night in with things from our past. Driving by grocery outlet, giving me sweet notes, flowers dropped off at the table (like the Olive Garden situation before his mission). After dinner, Drew drove us to the Cheesecake Factory in the Washington Square mall for dessert. It had just recently opened up. We love us some cheesecake from the Cheesecake Factory. There, Drew gave me some fun dessert cookbooks because of my love for baking and my pastry chef passion. Once we licked our plates, we were off again to another surprise location. He took me to his church building in Hillsboro. There he had a pair of Nike Shox (I had been coveting those shoes for quite some time) and a pair of basket ball shorts with my nickname "Sugar Bunz" on the backside waiting for me in the gym. (About Sugar Bunz. I got that nickname during a cooking class I had with Drew and Chris in high school. I think it was our Junior year, Chris' senior year. It was totally random that we were all in that class together. But it was really fun. Anyway, we were looking at recipes and there was one titled sugar buns. I said "Sugar buns? That sounds like some pet name for a girlfriend or something. I would NEVER let anyone ever call me that. haha" It has been my nickname ever since. Should have never said it.) Drew said this part was purely for the fun of it. He had always wanted to give me a pair of shorts with sugar bunz on the behind just because its kind of funny and the shox went great with them. (I, of course, still have the shox and the shorts.) After that we drove back to my house.

(At the Cheesecake Factory)

(The Portland Waterfront. Love. It. Just a little tid bit of info. When I ran in the Hood to Coast last year I was lucky enough to have the leg running through the waterfront at around 6pm. I ran over that bridge in the picture and down the waterfront. It ended up being one of my hardest legs which I didn't expect, but it was beautiful.)

This is where I started getting confused. I was very sure that this was the night we were getting engaged. When he took me back to my house, it was like a "this is the end of the night" kind of thing. It kind of took the wind out of my sails. But I just couldn't believe that he would end the night without popping the question. Next thing I know, he says he needs to go to the bathroom, he goes up the stairs, and then I hear his car start and he is gone. WHAT? I was way confused but I knew I was right, the night wasn't over yet. He text me and told me to get on instant message. (Another thing tied in from our past together.) He had gone back to his house and was instant messaging with me. He told me that since instant messaging was a big part of the beginning of our relationship that he wanted it to be a part of this night. I can't remember what else we talked about on instant message--it was brief. But then he told me to go in my bedroom and look in my closet. I ran upstairs to my room. In my closet I still had all my old formal dresses hanging up. He had a note attached to the dress I wore on homecoming night. (Am I the only one eating this up? Isn't he just amazing?) The note said something about the dress and homecoming. We can't remember what he wrote, I'm sure I have the note somewhere. It also said to take the key that was hanging with it and go outside. So I did.

Outside he had his dads car parked in the driveway waiting for me. I was supposed to call him once I got in the car. I got on the phone with him and he told me to start driving to Hillsboro and that he would tell me where to turn when. He had music playing in the car that was significant to us. He talked to me all the way to the destination where he was waiting--Hare Field. (Our high school football field where I was crowned homecoming princess while he was watching me in the stands.) He had me park the car, walk across a big long field in the dark, up to the bleachers. I sat down and he walked up out of nowhere. He gave me a collage of pictures from Homecoming night and phrases that explained his feelings that night. It also included the current date to help us remember the night of our engagement. He got down on one knee with the ring in his hands and told me that it was there in the bleachers the night of homecoming that he knew he was going to marry me. He asked me to be his wife forever. I said YES! Now we are living happily.ever.after.

(The collage of homecoming, etc that Drew gave me when we got engaged.)

(Hare Field. Those are the very bleachers where the magic happened.)

The Next Morning Hangover...etc...

Oh the next morning was so, so emotional. I remember being awake for a while but laying in bed wondering how I should face the day. What I would do without Drew doing it with me? I know that sounds so incredibly sappy, and it is. But those were my true feelings. I was really a little bit surprised it was as hard for me as it was. I thought I had prepared myself pretty well and knew what to expect. Not only that but I had seen Melissa (my sister) go through the same thing so I felt having witnessed it secondhand a few years earlier, I might be able to buck up and not lose it every time his name was mentioned. No such luck.

I remember while I was laying in bed, my brother Zach came into my room. I can't remember what he came in for but he asked how I was doing and I couldn't even answer. I just started crying and tried to get out that I was doing fine. haha I think he hugged me and then let me be alone to cry it out. As soon as I regained composure I decided it was time to emerge from my room and make something of the day. I went out to our living room and my mom was there. I just hugged her and cried. We sat on the couch and I just cried and let out all my feelings. I said things like, "I just don't think I will ever find anyone like Drew. I want to marry him, Mom. He is the best, there is no one better. I just know it. I know I have to date other people but I don't want to. I miss him already." I believe she said something like, "I know. But it will get easier. And maybe you won't find someone better than him. Either way you have a lot to look forward to."

My mom was right. As the days went on it did get easier. I started getting excited about being able to write him letters and get his letters in the mail. I would go hang out with his family weekly which helped a lot. And I was still looking for a job so I had something to keep me busy. I ended up getting a job at an Alzheimer's care center but found out I had mono shortly after being hired and had to quit. I learned I had mono about 2 weeks after Drew left. I was actually at the Everton family reunion on the Oregon coast and was miserably sick and tired the entire time. And I was worried Drew would get it but he never did.

I recovered from mono. Drew survived the CTM and was a pro at speaking portuguese. He left the CTM around August 16th and shortly after that I went back to BYU-Idaho. I hit the ground running. It was my first semester in the culinary program and it was busy. I loved it. I was called to be one of the Relief Society presidents in my ward also. And I had some roommates with......issues, which kept things interesting. haha

(Drew's collection of my letters while on the mission)

I dated a couple of guys while Drew was gone. Those were the times my letters would taper off a little. haha But other than those times we both wrote pretty consistently. Sometime the mail was slow or I would start a letter and not finish and it wouldn't get sent. Drew had a few lulls as well but we each of a good stack of letters from each other. I love reading mine because they are pretty much a journal of my life in college. Anyway, the first guy I dated was a preemie who wanted me to wait for him after we dated for, I think it was about 3 months. So I broke up with him. There was no way I was sending off another missionary and I didn't really like him. The next was a fresh RM who was looking to refill his canteen and was really not what I thought he was. That lasted about 2 months. The last guy was probably the most normal but he wanted to get married and....I didn't. Not even close. The night I broke up with him (with about 5 months left until Drew got home) I walked in the door and cried. I know I only dated a few guys, but I was so tired of not having reciprocating feelings and being the one to end it. I know, its got to be worse being the one dumped but still, it was terrible. It was that same night that I had en experience that let me know I was going to marry Drew. I called and told my mom I knew I was going to marry him. So I stopped worrying about dating. That was awesome.

(valentine letters to each other during the mission)

I graduated from the Culinary Arts program in April (2006) but had an internship to go to in Salt Lake City to officially finish up my degree. This was a decision I struggled with. I had really wanted this internship and was ecstatic when I got accepted for the job but I was torn because that would mean I wouldn't be home when Drew got home. I wrote Drew about it and talked to my parents about it. Drew wrote back and said he was fine with whatever I decided. My parents were on board for me taking the job. I prayed a lot about it and I did it. I loved it. I worked as a pastry chef in the Joseph Smith Memorial building for the Roof Restaurant. I learned a lot there and had a great "out of college" kind of "real life" experience for the summer.

My internship began in the beginning of May. I started a countdown to when Drew was getting home and to Zach and Ksenia's (my brother and sister in-law) wedding because that would be the first time I would get to see Drew. Zach and Ksenia were originally planning on getting married in August but conveniently changed the wedding to June 27th. :) Drew got home June 14th. I was so anxious and giddy that day. I worked that day so it helped pass the time. I figured he would be calling me sometime that night so I knew I wouldn't miss it. When I got home from work, I went for a run. Got home, still no call. My roommates Becky and Vivian (2 of my favorite people) decided we should go out to dinner to celebrate him being home and make time go by while we were waiting for him to call. They were as excited for his call as I was, it was fun. While we were at dinner, Drew text me. It said something like, "I'm baaack! I am so exhausted. If its okay, I want to call you tomorrow after I get some sleep and visit with my family." I told him that was totally fine and I looked forward to it. I have to admit it was a bit of a let down. But I did want him to have time with his family and I don't like talking when I'm tired either. So I waited an EXTRA 24 HOURS to get to talk to him. It was glorious when I saw his number show up on my phone the next day. Nervous and giddy still, when I heard his voice I almost cried, it was that good to hear him and know he was home in Hillsboro. I don't even remember what we talked about but it was the same feeling as before, natural and comfortable. Picking up right where we left off.

We talked on the phone every day after that and long into the night. One of the times we talked, Drew let me know that when we saw each other, he didn't want to beat around the bush anymore. He didn't want to do the awkward "when are we going to hold hands? when are we going to kiss?" thing. He said we had done that already, twice. And we didn't need to do it again. I flew home a few days before Zach and Ksenias wedding. Guess who picked me up at the airport? Drew. Most of the two years he was gone, I day dreamed of what it would be like the day he got home and when I would see him at the airport after getting off the plane from his mission. So it was funny to me that it turned out he would be seeing ME for the first time at the airport. I could not get off that plane fast enough. I made a quick stop at the bathroom to make sure I looked presentable, walked around the corner to walk through the security gates and there he was. We both had the biggest smiles ever. We kissed and hugged, kissed and hugged again and headed to his car walking hand in hand. It was so surreal! You guys, it was like the most exciting thing ever. I still get butterflies thinking about that reunion. It was the beginning of MANY happy times to come.

We got to the car and he pulled out this poster-sized collage he had been up all night making for me. It was A-MAZING. It was a collage of our history from us at 15 until then. It had random IM chats we had when we were 15, pictures of us, some of our favorite movie quotes, mission pictures, college pictures, old concert or movie tickets. It had it all. Another priceless possession we still have today.

We went straight to my house from the airport to meet up with the rest of the family for a big dinner. All eyes were on us. That was a bit awkward but still fun to be back with all my family and have Drew there with me. We ended up driving Zach and Ksenia back to her parents house later that night. We had a miscommunication and thought we were just dropping Ksenia off and that Zach would be coming back with us. So we were waiting out in the car for almost an hour realizing that Zach wasn't coming out. I went to start up my dads car and it was dead. Totally dead. We ended up having to walk a few blocks from Ksenia's house to Drew's house so we could get Drew's dads truck to drive me back home. This was at about midnight. We laughed all the way to Drew's house thinking about how silly the situation was but how happy we were just to be together. Its actually another of my fondest memories.

After that Drew was at all the wedding festivities with me. He dropped me back off at the airport. That wasn't a fun goodbye but not nearly as bad knowing we could talk on the phone whenever we wanted and that it would only be a couple more months before I was home for good. He came with my parents to the Everton family reunion in Idaho that July. It was great to get more time with him. It was at that reunion I let Drew know where I stood, what my thoughts and feelings were about us. We were still on the same page.

After that reunion, Drew couldn't stand that I wasn't home in Oregon with him so he came to visit me in Utah a couple of times before my internship ended. One time it was a surprise trip. I was riding the TRAX back to my house from work and I was on the phone with him. Next thing I know he was right behind me on the train. I had even been talking to him on the phone the night before when I thought he was at home but he was in the car driving to Utah. He let my roommates know he was coming. He was back to his usual antics. I was so in love with him. :) It was also on one of his trips that we finally told each other we loved each other for the first time. We always joke about this because I decided to profess my undying love for him while we were sitting on the couch watching random things on tv like the discovery channel Shark week. Obviously I had other things on my mind. I looked over at him and hesitated for a few minutes to actually say it. Drew had to coax it out of me a bit asking me what I wanted to say. I let it out. "I......" a bit of a pause, "well, I love you." He smiled and laughed a little bit. "I love you too babe." That felt so good. Not only did I have my missionary back, but I could tell him all the things I had been feeling for 2 years and he could do the same. It was heavenly. And we couldn't keep our hands off each other...

Tomorrow: The End. Our Engagement! The last love story post.

The DTR, the BIG date and then he's gone.....

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY TO MY LOVE and all you other lovers out there!

Wow, I am still coming to grips with the fact that we aired that horrible first, second kiss experience for all to hear and know. haha Don't judge me.

Alright, on with the story. I promise the end is near. Although, our love does go on forever. LOL (Yes, I just said that.) So anyway, the story. We continued to spend every free minute with each other. There was a night in particular where we had gone to a movie with my family. Drew and I drove there in his car and we were on our way home. I brought up something my dad said to me earlier that day. I can't remember exactly what he said but he was just wanting to make sure I wasn't distracting Drew from his mission preparations and that we were being mindful of what his focus should be. Not that I didn't take my dad seriously, but I jokingly brought up our conversation to Drew thinking we would both laugh about it because I had another "Bishop Bob" talk with my dad. (my dad had been bishop since my junior year? It was my junior or senior year.) For the record, I adore talks with my dad.

Anyway, Drew didn't laugh about it like I thought he would. Instead he started asking things like, "What did he mean by that? Why would he feel like he needed to say that to you?" And I was like, "haha I don't know. Its not a big deal. He just wants to make sure I'm not getting in the way of you going on your mission. And I think we both agree thats not happening. So there ya go." (We had a brief talk or two about that before my dad mentioned it to me.) That wasn't enough for Drew though, we needed to talk. (Thank goodness Drew is a communicator because I am not. Although I am improving.) We drove up into the hills (for those of you in Portland, we drove up Skyline a bit) overlooking the city. We parked and sat on the trunk of his dads car. (Which is actually the Nissan Maxima we drive now.) This is what I remember. Drew explained to me how much he was liking what we had going on. And I agreed. We officially said, "ok we are definitely in a more serious relationship here." We were in agreement with our like for each other.

Then came more talking about the reality that he was leaving on a mission in less than 2 months. We decided the way we wanted to leave it, was that we would both do our best to do what was right. That didn't mean I would wait for him and that didn't mean he would write me his whole mission. It meant if I felt I should date other people while he was gone, or if he felt he needed to focus more on his mission and not write me than thats what would happen. We knew that if we were smart and prayerful about it than everything would happen the way it was supposed to. There was no talk of marriage, or plans for when he got back. We never even said the love word. We both really like the way we left things that night and when he left for Brazil. We felt strongly that we had left it in the right way and it felt amazing to know where we both stood and that it was the same.

So we continued on our merry way enjoying our last few weeks together. About a week before he left, Drew planned one last big hoorah. If you know Drew than you know he is a "Go big, or Go home" kind of guy. Its pretty much his motto. So he went big. It was his last time to sweep me off my feet just that much more....and that he did. The BIG date went as follows. I met him at his house in the morning where he surprised me with a huge breakfast. He had a beautiful bouquet of yellow roses on the table. French toast arranged on the plate with sausage and scrambled eggs, fresh fruit and orange juice. WOW, it was good. Next up, we started driving. Drew wouldn't tell me where we were going but we ended up a little over an hour away from Hillsboro in Tillamook at the cheese factory. I love me some Tillamook cheese, and I especially love Tillamook ice cream (chocolate peanut butter--heaven in my mouth). After that we headed back to Hillsboro but stopped at a favorite bridge of Drews where he went bridge jumping a lot in high school. We kissed on the bridge a bit and enjoyed the sunshine. It was beautiful that day! The drive itself was a lot of fun. We talked a lot and listened to a lot of Ben Folds.

When we got back into town he took me to get my nails done. He even sat next to me the whole time while I was getting them done. It was just one surprise after another. I was feeling very spoiled and not deserving of all these surprises. It was amazing. After that I thought we were done for the day. That was plenty! We went back to my house and my mom cut his hair. (My mom cut the missionaries hair for several years.) So when I got home I changed into the red shirt and jeans you can see in the picture below. He told me I might want to wear something a little more dressy than that. So I put on an even nicer t-shirt. LOL Seriously, I was not good at dressing myself and my wardrobe consisted of 2 colors. Blue and white. Maybe a few reds to mix it up.

(the first t-shirt I put on)

Anyway, after that fiasco we went to the Olive Garden. There was a long wait so we went over to the temple across the street and ended up having someone take a few pictures of us there. (Foreshadowing?) so we never talked about marriage at all but we had our ways....

(the picture to the left shows the "nicer" t-shirt I put on... haha)

While we were eating, Drew excused himself to the bathroom but really ran outside to grab something. On his way back to our table he arranged with our waiter to bring me a note. So 10 minutes or so later, the waiter brings me the note. I was confused as to why I would be getting a note but realized pretty quick Drew was up to something. Inside was a sweet little note and concert tickets to one of our favorite people at the time, Jude. So after dinner we headed to the Aladdin theater. Jude was one of my favorite concerts I've been to. (Drew and I had also seen Dashboard Confessionals and Jason Mraz recently. We had/have a great appreciation for music and enjoyed seeing some of our favorite groups together.)

That was the most amazing date anyone had ever taken me on. The BYU-Idaho guys didn't stand a chance. haha He was just so good at the details, knowing all these things that I liked. He was paying attention! haha (Yes, he is still like this. And he is still very much into surprising me although its much harder for him to pull it off now that we are married.)

During the next five days we had Drews farewell. We got him all packed and ready to go. We visited people so he could say goodbye. Things were setting in a bit. I remember a few weeks earlier my mom had asked if it was going to be hard for me when Drew left. I said "well yeah, but I just know its the right thing for him to do. So it won't be THAT hard. It just has to happen." Now, it was days away and I was getting emotional. It seems like I remember his farewell being on his last night home. (We aren't positive on that) So we went to his farewell at the Jackson School house (an old school house in the neighborhood that was used to receptions, parties, farewells, etc.) Once that was over, we visited a few more people and so he could say goodbye. Then we went back to my house. Oh you guys, I still feel the emotions of that night so strong when I'm writing this. It was sad. You know, its awesome because I wanted him to go on his mission. But oh, it was sad. When it came time for him to go home, leaving me for the last time, I brought out some gifts I had for him. I gave him a framed picture of Christ (which now sits on our counter and goes with us every time we move for the summer) and a framed picture of us. The message with those 2 pictures was that we were leaving things in the Lord's hands and that his main focus on his mission was the Lord. Then I gave him one last pack of Oreos and some air freshener. I really can't remember why I gave him the air freshener, but I'm always trying to lighten things up with a bit of humor so I'm sure thats what I was going for. And I do have a thing about smells.....drew can expound on that if you ask him.)

Drew had some gifts for me as well. He gave me Oreos as well. (These obviously became sentimental in our relationship somehow. haha) He gave me a burned cd which I thought was probably a mix of our favorite songs from the past few weeks. Nope. He had taken one of our favorite songs by Fountains of Wayne called "Hey Julie" and wrote new words to it. He called it "Hey Hailey." He learned the song on the guitar and recorded it at one of our friends (Dan Blaisdell- Courtney if you are reading this please thank Dan once again for that help back in the day!) houses. He had my brother Zach sing it because he is not a singer (thanks out to Zach!). I listened to it with Drew next to me in my parents kitchen. I was speechless. I could not believe he did that and had no idea how he had the time to do it because he was always with me or at work. I added the song Drew wrote and also the original version of the song right here so all can take a listen if you feel so inclined.

(Drew's Version)

(the lyrics to the song are on the back of the shadow box, see picture below)

(Original Version)

Then he had me open the last gift. A shadow box that he filled with flowers (our song is Flowers in the Window by Travis) and he put the words to the song in the box. He also sprayed the flowers with his cologne. haha We both thought that was funny at the time, but those 2 years he was gone I smelled those flowers many a times. haha That scent never went away and I loved it. We, of course, still have the shadow box which I deem as a priceless possession.

After we finished up with the gifts he said goodbye to the rest of my family who was still awake. Then we walked out to the front porch. He brought his stuff down to his car. He came back to me on the porch with tears running down his cheeks. We hugged for a long time. All I could tell him was how amazing he was and how amazing everything had been. I couldn't say very much. We were both so exhausted. I remember feeling a bit numb, it was hard to let the emotions set in and I was just so tired. Then Drew took his hands and put them on my cheeks. He looked at me and said, "Don't change ok? You're perfect the way you are." We hugged again. Then he walked to his car and drove away. I watched him drive out of the cul-de-sac. That was it. He was set apart the next morning and went straight to the airport. He sent me one last text that said "You are my girl Hailey." Then he was gone.

Tomorrow: The next morning hangover, oh it was rough. And, the mission.......(I was planning on concluding this tomorrow but I think there might be 2 posts left to get us to the end. I can't do this much longer, its keeping me up too late!)

Back Together Again.....

Alright, where were we? February 2004. My brother Beau came home from his mission to Texas in February. My parents flew me home so I could see Beau. It was sooo good to have Beau home. We were inseparable before he left (besides when he was at college). While I was home visiting I stopped in at the Grocery Outlet to say hi. Drew was there, of course, and ended up walking me out to my car. As I was getting in my car he said, "Hey make sure you save an hour or two for me tonight. I want to catch up with you." I said, "Uh yeah, sure! Sure, sounds good." I thought to myself, "WHAT? He wants to catch up with me? Since when?"

He came over after closing up the G.O. So it was around 9pm or so. He ended up staying until 4am. We just talked and talked; catching up we did (no, not like that...really, we just talked.) We hadn't talked like that since we dated back when we were 15. For the record we were 18 now. The details get hazy about what we actually talked about. We can't remember if Drew was already broken up with Emily, or if the relationship was simmering out and he was about done. Whatever was going on with that, we talked about it. We have tried really hard to remember but all that we can recall is loving catching up with each other and it feeling so natural and comfortable. Sometime during our chat we made a run to Taco Bell (for Drew, I have never been a fan of that place). I am only mentioning this minor detail because I remember while we were driving to Taco Bell Drew randomly showed me this song that he liked and turns out it was an EFY song called Distracted. It solidified to me that he was on the path I was hoping he was on. I know that seems simple, but it was enough for me to know where he was at with the church. Honestly, none of us knew. When he was dating Emily it seemed serious enough that we weren't sure if a mission was in his plans or if he cared about church at all. He was of course still going. He was just a mystery when he was with Emily.

I flew back to Rexburg the next morning. I think we were both wondering what would happen from there. Well, here is what happened. haha He called me about once a week and we would talk for a couple of hours. Then our birthdays rolled around and I found a package from him waiting for me after getting back from class. That is when I knew that more than just being friends was happening here. You would think that would be obvious, but when you're the one in the middle of it all, you don't want to jump to any conclusions.

Side note: During my first semester at BYU-Idaho I had my track changed from winter/summer which I was on, to the "normal" fall/winter track all college students are usually on unless you go to BYU-Idaho. I needed to do that in order to be in the Culinary Arts program, which I got accepted into that semester as well.

So until the semester ended, Drew and I were talking on the phone a lot, texting while I was in class, and e-mailing. Because I changed my tracks, I had a small debate whether I should go home for the summer or just stay in Rexburg until the fall term since my original plan was that I would be there in the summer going to school. I didn't want to go home just because Drew was there. I wanted to make sure I was making the decision separate from my feelings for Drew. So I did. (Although it wasn't easy because Drew was begging me to come home al the time.) Home still felt right when I prayed about it and seemed like the best option for earning more money to pay for more school. So home I went.

My brother Zach picked me up April 26th. We rolled into Portland around 5:30 or so. We made really good time. Always did when Zachy J was driving. As soon as I got home, I text Drew and told him I was home. He asked if I wanted to go see a movie that night. Again I was surprised. I literally had just walked in the door and he was already wanting to hang out. Honestly, I was in heaven. It was what I wanted for so long but kept pushing away all my feelings. We went and saw 13 going on 30 that night. It was so fun. That was basically our first date ever. He walked me to my door that night, gave me a hug and told me it was so good to have me home. From that night on, we were inseparable. We went to concerts, we had picnics, we watched seasons of 24 and Alias, we consumed a lot of Oreo's (Drew has an obsession), we hung out with both our families a lot. When he wasn't at work he was with me. He helped me look for a job (which was awful by the way. It was hard to find a job for 4 months. There was not a lot of options and I a horrible attitude about the hunt. Drew was a saint for doing that with me.) We really spent every free minute we had with each other.

(I have always loved the way he is looking at me in this picture.)

We both said then (and now) that it felt like we were picking up where we left off. It again, just felt so natural and comfortable. With feeling so natural and comfortable comes all those firsts. (For us, second firsts.) The first time we held hands again is one of those controversial subjects between Drew and I. He remembers us holding hands while we were watching Alias at my house. I remember it the same way but at his house. The natural and comfortable feeling went out the window when it comes to the kiss. LOL Drew had a fun idea, so we thought we would do a little "vlog" of us explaining the details of that horrid event. It saves me some typing and provides you with some entertainment besides reading. For your viewing pleasure, here it is.

(drew apologizes for bad video quality. had to use front facing camera on iphone, not nearly as good as back camera)

So, after that kiss, I really didn't want to kiss at all....ever again. But we talked about it, we figured it out and thats all that we need to expound on that. I was once again, impressed with Drew and how he handled that whole situation with me. I made a fool of myself but he made me feel completely comfortable. Even after that he still wanted to date me! haha

(A "safe" kiss. haha We were shmoopy.)

Tomorrow: The DTR, the BIG date, and one moment he's here....the next moment he's gone.

CHANGE: Heading our separate ways......

Due to the fact that I was on a date with my husband tonight and its too late for me to think straight when writing the details of us getting back together, I will postpone those details until tomorrow. (Really, I am just wanting to delay having to tell about our awkward second first kiss.) Tonight will be some interesting details leading up to us getting back together. Its still good stuff, no worries.

2003-2004

We graduated June of 2003. Funky thing about this was that we had been out of school since the middle of May. Our school district didn't have enough money to keep us in school. Kind of ridiculous but you didn't hear any of the seniors complaining about it. As usual for seniors to do, Drew and I's friends (our friends were very intertwined once "dremily" began) started planning a graduation trip to Disneyland. Emily was heading it up because her Aunt was helping us find plane tickets. (I think?) A good little group was going. For days I was BEGGING my dad to let me go. I finally had talked him into it and let Emily know I was in. I had the ok to go and I was so excited. She told me sorry, it was too late to get plane tickets. Not true. And looking back, I would have found my own plane tickets thank you very much! According to Drew she just didn't want me to go. (Dirty) So I had some extra time to work at Grocery Outlet while they were gone and make more money for school. It was lame being at work knowing they were living it up in Disneyland for that week, but eh, what can ya do?

I was accepted to BYU-Idaho for Winter/Summer term. I was going to be home working through the summer and fall until January 2004. Erica went to college in Seattle the beginning of September. So I hung out with Chris a lot. Thank goodness he was around or my social life would have been working at Grocery Outlet. haha (Chris is one of Drew and I's favorite people. We both often reminisce about memories we have thanks to Chris.) Drew started school at PCC (Portland Community College) so he was still around as well, waiting to go on his mission. And since he was a "head honcho" at the G.O. he was of course still there working too.

So, December rolled around and I worked my last 2 weeks at the G.O. Drew totally surprised me and gave me a Christmas card on my last day at work. It basically just said its been real and and its been fun, and Grocery Outlet will miss you. (haha yeah, he actually said the G.O. would miss me...aka: he will miss me) I was just surprised he thought to even give me a card. I thought it was a nice gesture. Drews little sister Courtney started working at the G.O. a little before I left and I loved her (and the rest of his family) so I decided I would drop by their house to say goodbye to them before I went to school. I wrote notes for everyone, including Drew. I said something like, call me when you get your mission call. I'm excited for you to go. I'll send you a wedding announcement while you're gone. haha I was just kidding. But it made Drew think twice. He SO wanted me back! He couldn't handle thinking about me marrying somebody else.

January 2004. I'm at BYU-Idaho finally in my first semester in college! I was loving it. I had some weird 25 year-old RM after me which didn't last long at all. Drew and I instant messaged every once in a while or e-mailed. It was very infrequent and random. But we were still in touch.

Februrary 2004. (*sigh* Oh you guys, I'm too sleepy.........TO BE CONTINUED TOMORROW. It IS tomorrow. This is getting out of control.)

Who is this other girl?

Before all of this, check out my sister rock another version of PROVO UTAH GIRLS!

Okay, so lets keep this one short and sweet. The other girl was Emily. (Emily and I had been best friends since kindergarten. She helped Drew and I hook up months earlier.) She pounced on him as soon as I broke up with him. The first time I realized what was happening was at a basketball game a week or two after we had broken up. She met up with Drew there, I saw them sitting the in the bleachers. He was sitting behind her and she was leaning back into him and put her arms over his legs. I cried. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. I felt sick to my stomach. I cried and cried. My friend Marissa listened to me, she tried to make me feel better. I felt stupid for feeling the way I was since I was the one who broke up with him. But I thought he still liked me at least. I thought that we might casually date when we turned 16. We were both turning 16 in March. (Our birthdays are 7 days apart, he is older and has always reminded me of that since I've known him.) We planned our birthday party together. We still went through with that actually. It was at my house. Emily went home early and Drew walked her home and never came back. (Emily lived 3 doors down from my house)

( a senior picture of each of us)

Drew wants to make sure that I let all know that he was innocent in all of this. In his mind he had no idea I was being hurt by the situation because he was under the impression that I did not like him anymore because I broke up with him. SO he had no idea I cried that night at the basketball game and did not know I even cared what he was doing.

(A picture we JUST took with one of the flip-flops Drew gave me for my 16th birthday. He gave them to me that night we celebrated our bdays together. He bought them for me while he was on a trip to Utah with his family visiting conference and BYU. I used to wear them almost everyday. I know, super stylish.)

(Me sophomore year with Erica)

Shortly after that, Emily confronted me in the halls at school and asked if I was okay with her and Drew hooking up. For once I ACTUALLY said what I was feeling. It was so liberating. I told her no, I was not okay with it. That I still had feelings for Drew. Then the bell rang and we had to go to our classes. That was all that was ever said. They were already together. We stopped talking really after that. They dated for 3 years.

(Found another pic of me during homecoming when we had our first kiss and below is one of Drew's football pics)

Because Emily and I were both on Student Council, I would run into them in the student council room several times a day. Like I mentioned before, Emily lived (still does) 3 doors down from my house, so I would see Drew's truck parked outside her house ALL.THE.TIME. (Yeah, it was not cool.) So as much as I just wanted to move on as quick as possible, those things made it hard. But I did move on. I didn't date anyone else but I was happy just doing the high school thing. I was all about being in high school but not being of it. In other words, I didn't want to be a part of the drama. Hence, why I moved on from the "Dremily" situation. (Two of my best friends the rest of high school were Chris Anderson and Kyle Garvin. Kyle dated my best friend Erica so we all hung out a lot. Kyle and Chris came up with the term "dremily" because we all hated the situation. All of Drew's friends said he was not the same when he dated Emily. I had a lot of people on my side. I still had feelings for Drew so of course I was prone to not like anything about the Drew and his girlfriend situation. I think we might have even placed a burning bag of poop on her door step at one point.)

(Good ole' student ID's from high school)

Tidbit of information. Erica's parents owned Grocery Outlet which Erica, Drew and I (and a lot of other people from school) worked at after school. So although Drew and I never spoke at school, we had brief interactions while at work which I attribute to us staying connected the little bit that we did. (Drew would like me to add that he was pretty much my boss at the G.O.)

(THE actual Grocery Outlet we worked at in Hillsboro. We called it the G.O.)

For Emily's sake I need to say that this is MY side of the story. Its the way I saw things and the emotions I felt. I'm sure Emily's side of the story is different. And I did break up with Drew, so technically he was free game.

Up Next: Getting back together... and the most awkward second, first kiss ever. I'm still debating on sharing the details of this, it was that awkward. And not because of Drew.

The Break-Up

I just have to start this post saying that this break-up was AWFUL! It wasn't messy or anything, it just.......*sigh* you'll see.

So we continued to "school date" until mid-January. From the beginning of our relationship I was torn about whether or not we should even be in a relationship because the prophet (and our seminary teacher, and our parents) counseled not to date before we were 16. Again, I am very obedient. I was so confused! On top of that I REALLY liked Drew and was just flabbergasted that I got a boy to like me as much as he did. But I had no idea what to do with these strong feelings I had for him. Looking back I wish I would have communicated my worries and concerns with him. I never said a word about it.

One January day I couldn't do it anymore. I felt like I needed to end it; I even convinced myself I didn't like him. I avoided him at school all day and went home determined to break up with him the next day. To my surprise he CALLED me that night after I had avoided him all day. Gasp! A phone call! He knew something was up. (duh) He asked me what was wrong. I asked if we could talk about it at school the next day. He said no, to just get it out. I was not prepared and caught off guard. I broke up with him on the phone. Worst of all, I told him it was because I didn't like him anymore! Isn't that terrible? He said, "soooo, that's it?" I paused and said, "well, yeah." Then we hung up.

I was a wreck. I was literally shaking. I felt rotten for the way it all happened. I felt a bit relieved that I ended it because I felt like I needed to, but it just happened so wrong. According to Drew he went in his room and cried. I broke his heart. So sad huh? He didn't talk to me for about a week. Worst week ever. On instant message one night he finally started talking to me. He said he would rather us be friends and be able to talk to me than not have me at all.

I was heart broken that week we weren't talking. I missed him and had horrible feelings of regret. I kept wanting to take it all back and just be happily together again. I realized more than ever how much I liked him. But I couldn't get myself to say anything about how I was feeling. That is until the other girl came along.

Next: Who is this other girl? (I know, you are just dying to know already. haha)