Sort of got burned out of the whole blogging thing, and felt like it was always the same old things I was writing about. I took a nice long break.
Lately, I've been feeling like the recent changes in our lives are so important to write down so I do not forget (or if I forget I have them written down somewhere to go back and read and remember)!
So I'm back. Hopefully you will enjoy reading this post. It's super long, so if you cut out half way through, that's okay :)
It would be absolutely pointless and impossible to try and update the last 20 months. So let's just start fresh with the important stuff currently happening. I'm pregnant! Almost 15 weeks!!! Dan and I are so excited and I want to share the details of how it happened, and share a quick update on the first 14 weeks.
Let's go back for a minute...Dan and I celebrated our 7 year anniversary on July 28th. 7 years people!!! I was mind blown to think it had already been 7 years.
To be completely honest, pregnancy and being a mom was never really at the forefront of my mind. It wasn't a goal of mine. I never felt good enough or ready to be a mom, so I put it off. That makes me sound horribly selfish, horribly worldly, I know.
Maybe it was because of how I was raised. I practically was a mom from the time I was 6. I raised my 6 brothers and sisters while my parents needed to work full time to make ends meet. I also went through some very intense trials from a very young age. I never had confidence in my ability to be a good mother. I was very afraid of turning into my parents. Now, let me say that my parents are good people. They have made mistakes, but have truly repented, and bettered themselves. But I was determined to learn from their mistakes. I also wholeheartedly believe I needed this extra time to fully overcome my fears and learn about myself before I could be the mom I want to be. I would not change the way Dan and I have done things even if I could.
After 7 years (7 years of taking a lot of "crap" from people who did not understand that Dan and I were doing the right thing for our family), Dan and I both knew it was time. It was special. It is a conversation and experience I will hold dear and cherish forever. We decided to try and start our family. We knew there was a special spirit in heaven who had been patiently waiting for us to bring him/her to Earth.
We were so blessed to get pregnant easily. We personally know so many couples who struggle with infertility, and we feel so deeply for them. Each person has their own trials to face. I hold dear a comment one of my friends made to me when I was talking to her about how I was scared to share the news of our pregnancy with those I knew were struggling to get pregnant themselves. She told me that I had been through enough trials of which I had no control, that I deserved to finally get something when I wanted it.
I found out I was pregnant on October 19th! I had been late, and since we were trying I was hopeful that meant what I thought it meant :) So Dan and I both went to Wal-Mart to buy some tests. We got home and I took a test. Let me just say...when you are in such a state of anxiety, those tests can be confusing to read!!! I saw one dark blue line, and one faint blue line. The test said two blue lines was a positive, but I was skeptical because the second line was so faint! So I took another test. This time, two lines about the same "darkness." I was instantly ecstatic, but equally skeptical. It felt too good to be true. I called to Dan down the hall, "you are not going to believe this!" He came into the bathroom and I showed him the tests. We stared at each other in excitement and disbelief! Could we really be pregnant?
The next morning I called Valley Obgyn, expecting to go in for a blood test or something to confirm my pregnancy. The receptionist very kindly told me they don't normally see you until at least 8 weeks. WTF. 8 weeks. Now, I get it, but at the time it seemed like crazy amount of time to wait.
Our 8 week appointment finally arrived! I was nervous and excited. After getting the uncomfortable "doctor" stuff out of the way, I got my first ultrasound, and we got to see our little baby for the first time!!! Up until that point I was half certain the doctor was going to tell me I had never been pregnant and was just a crazy lady hallucinating the whole deal. Nope. Really pregnant, phew!
Even though our baby was teeny-tiny, and there was not much to see, it was AMAZING. So special.
Week 9 we had a little bit of a scare. I woke up bleeding. I called my nurse, and she asked me a few questions then looked up my chart. She let me know I was A- blood type. Dan is O+. She explained that since we do not know the blood type of the baby yet, she wanted me to get a Rhogam shot to prevent my body from making antibodies. Rhogam-what?? Anti-what??? I was clueless up to this point about blood types, antibodies, and the whole nine-yards. Dan and I started researching the topic, and I became frightened that it was already too late and I was going to miscarry. We went to the doctor's office, and they did another ultrasound to check on the baby. Our little one was okay!!! I felt a little better, but the nurse still wanted me to run over to the hospital and get the tested to make sure my body had not created any antibodies yet and then get the Rhogam shot. It was a stressful day, but after all was said and done I got the shot, and everything was fine! I later learned my bio-mom is A- too.
Week 12 we went back for our second appointment. Or should I say we *thought* it was week 12. We get there, the doctor comes in and tells me "so you're 11 weeks, huh?" "Nope. I'm 12 weeks." I replied. She gets our her chart, and sure enough, confirms that I am only 11 weeks. Apparently, when we booked at our 8 week appointment the receptionist scheduled us 3 weeks out instead of 4, and I somehow skipped a whole week. Wishful thinking I guess. ALSO, It was news to me that I don't get an ultrasound at every appointment. Dan and I were totally expecting to see our little baby again, only to be told nope. Ha ha, new mom here. But we did get to listen to the HEART BEAT for the first time. It was so cool!!! 175 beats per minute. I wish we could have listened to it all day. It was so special.
Wanna know what is not so special? Morning sickness. Or should I say all freaking day sickness. The name is so misleading. Despite knowing that morning sickness is a good thing, it still sucked. I started feeling sick around week 6 and still at week 14 have my moments, but it is definitely SO much better already! Second trimester seems to be living up the "hype" so far :)
I have gained more weight than I care to admit, and have little muscle. I was so judgmental of you pregnant moms out there before I got pregnant, and thought for sure I would be one of those woman who worked out the same as I had prior to pregnancy. Ha! So much for that philosophy! I have learned there is more to life.
I give in to my cravings..."baby wants..." Is a common phrase these days lol! Unbuttoning my jeans was no longer cutting it, so I finally gave in and bought maternity pants. Gotta say, they are sooo much more comfortable! I feel like my boobs cannot possibly get any bigger, even though I know this is only the beginning. TMI. I'll stop.
So that's the journey so far. I was planning to write about telling our families, but this post is already so long that I will make that story a separate post of it's own!
We are so grateful for the opportunity to be parents, and we are so excited for this next chapter in our lives to continue!!!
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| 14 weeks |
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| First Ultrasound pic |
