ECLIPSEBABY

I thought after what happened last year I couldn’t possibly be any more miserable, but guess what? Life has a funny way of sneaking up behind you and kicks your ass. I actually believed that these last few days of the year would be filled with happy moments, and life would actually turn in my direction. Its my turn to be happy. But no. The moment has passed, completely ruined, and I don’t think things will ever be the same again. I no longer anticipate it with joy n excitement. Right now it just tastes sour, if not bitter. And I am beyond sad, I am numb.


Think of me any way you want
I can be the problem if that’s easier
In your head, move the pieces around
Things I’ve said, turn the memory upside down
And it makes it better I know
But sometimes its hard to swallow

In time I will fade away.

Been having severe tummyache for weeks now. I really really really hope its nothing serious (cause I despise having to endure another harassing endoscopy-colonoscopy. I feel violated. And the thing they gave me the night before the procedure, whatsisname, that horrendous liquid that used to make me puke n poop til I faint in the bathroom (you’d think all the trauma will at least leave the liquid’s name engraved into my brain, but I’m that forgetful, so). Where was i?

I’d rather gone through another gastric bypass than do this whole endo/colonoscopic shit. Anyway, why don’t they just give me 15 shots of tequila instead? Works exactly the same n when I wake up the next morning I would be too hung over to remember having my ass molested in front of all the creepy interns the day before. Everybody’s happy.

except the parents, dats fo sho.

When I am ill (like NOW) all hell breaks loose. Worse than PMS, way worse. When the headache finally disappear *cross fingers* I might regret the whole frickin thing bout me being an ass, but for now, I just couldn’t give a shit.

Oh and I’m totally broke from those entire book shopping. (Bought a shitload of imported music books and calling it investment. I just hope I could talk daddy into reimbursement heaven).