Dumbfuckery du Jour

It's going to take me days to dig out.  We didn't have internet access at the hotel - not because they didn't have wi-fi, but because they didn't have a hard line, and something went wonky with my wi-fi on my computer long ago which I've never bothered to fix.  So that was two days' worth of Twitter, science blogs, and political blogs I missed.  I've managed to catch up on ye old Twitter reading, and I'm mostly done with the Washington Monthly.

It appears the political world exploded into yet more burning stupid flames whilst I was away.  Let's see if I can sum up:

The Chamber of Commerce believes that females like myself are totally responsible for the pay gap between genders, because of all that time we demand away from work.  Or something.  And demanding equal pay for equal work is "Scrouge-like."  Oh, and we wouldn't be in this situation if we'd just been smart enough to get a job at a company that doesn't fuck us over (ignoring the fact it's nearly impossible to determine this in advance, or that in some places, finding such a company would be harder than finding an intelligent person at the Chamber).  Additionally, we should've married a sugar daddy.  So there, girls!

Sharron Angle doesn't understand why World War II stimulated the economy.  (Hint: it has a little something to do with massive government spending, you fucktard.)

Speaking of dumbshits for Senate, Rand Paul wants to represent Kentucky, but doesn't know jack diddly shit about the state.  Oh, and tax cuts cure drug addiction!  That Tax Fairy of theirs sure is all-powerful.  Wait.  Gasp!  Does this mean that the Tax Fairy is a false idol?!

Speaking of yet more dumbshits for Senate, Wisconsin's Ron Johnson wants you to know that global warming has nothing to do with all the greenhouse gasses humans are pumping into the atmosphere.  No, siree.  It's probably all that sunspot activity (nevermind that sunspot activity is low).  Or maybe it's "just something in the geologic eons of time."  Damn those geologic eons!  Side note: people like him are the reason America's not just falling behind in the alternative energy race, but is sitting on the sidelines watching other countries zip by.  Goodbye jobs, innovation and international prestige!  Hello, permanent recession!

Dr. Laura's quitting her news show, and it's all your fault.  Y'see, you evil librul politically correct elites are infringing on her freedom to shout the N-word at black women all she wants. 

For those keeping score at home, it's not okay for America to emulate Europe in any way.  But it's totally okay for America to emulate China (that would be Communist China), Pinochet's Chile (a military dictatorship), and Saudi Arabia (which is a Middle Eastern Islamic theocracy).  I know all of that doesn't square with their screaming over the evils of communism, tyranny and evil awful Islam, but no one ever claimed these folks are intellectually gifted enough to understand obvious contradictions.


You know all those teachers' jobs recently-passed legislation will save?  Yeah, the Bachmann and King freakshow thinks that's all just a big ol' Dem money-laundering scheme.  Seriously.  It's hard to trust democracy when idiots like these keep getting elected.

And there was far, far more Con stupidity I didn't point out, and all in just one place.  Who knows what's going to happen when I have time to swing by Think Progress and TPM.  The political environment's so target-rich I may have to upgrade the Smack-o-Matic 3000 to something with multiple paddles.

Home Sweet Home

And now that I'm home safe, I'm going to indulge in immediate collapse.  But I wanted you all to have a little something:

Yup, that's sunset from the Hurricane Hill Trail in the Olympic Mountains, that is.

So much to show and tell you about, once I've repaid my sleep debt.  I love you, and I've missed you, and I'm glad to be back home!

Hooked on Science

Via the magic of the intertoobz, I can simultaneously be up in the Olympic Mountains exploring excellent geology and pestering you lot.  Don't you feel fortunate? 

Now's a good time for us to discuss what got you hooked on science.  We all come to it from different directions.  For some, it was Star Trek, or a great science teacher, or an interesting childhood experience.  Some folks dropped in by way of their job, or a popular writer, or a nature show.  So I'm curious: what did it for you?  What was your gateway drug?  What got you interested, and what got you hooked?

I'll start, since I'm the one writing the damned post.  You'll probably laugh, but it was this: fantasy.  Pure fantasy.  Y'see, I got hooked on fantasy novels, and decided this was where I belonged as a writer, and after a bit realized I need to know a hell of a lot more about the real world in order to write about imaginary ones.  Oh, I'd had a mild interest and some respect for science ever since childhood, when I'd wanted to be an astronomer and sometimes a vet.  But I'd not have the passion I do now if I'd not started reading and writing fantasy. 

Once I got started (with, what else, cosmology), I couldn't stop.  The deeper I dug, the more fascinated I became.  Even stuff I'd despised, like biology, became intriguing.  The world suddenly ended up a lot more beautiful and a lot more interesting than it had been before.  I'm an addict now.  I couldn't give up science even with an excellent residential treatment program. 

So: Hi, my name is Dana, and I'm hooked on science.

Your turn, my darlings.  Have your say, whether you're a hardcore user or just dabble in it recreationally. 

Clueless Reporter + Creationists = FAIL

Yep, woke up too early after falling asleep too late.  But that's all to the good!  I got to spend time upon the intertoobz, and wouldn't you know that Brian Switek wrote up one of the most delicious dishes of fail I've seen in, well, days.  Here's what happens when a frigate bird crosses the paths of credulous "journalists" and a couple of creationists:

Sadly, some people still get duped by the fantastic claims espoused by “professional monster hunters.” Last week on Salem-News.com, reporter Terrence Aym posted an article proclaiming: “Dinosaur Found Alive: Two Species Recorded in Papua New Guinea.” (The piece is a shortened version of an article Aym posted to Helium.com.) Citing eyewitness accounts collected by “serious researchers” Jim Blume and David Woetzel, Aym reports that at least two types of pterosaur—flying archosaurs which were not dinosaurs—still soar over Papua New Guinea, and he even provides some video to prove it.

The trouble is that the video provides a pretty clear look at what is definitely a frigatebird, probably a female great frigatebird (Fregata minor) based upon the dark feathers and white patch on the chest. 

[snip]

Then there is the problem of Aym’s sources. Both Blume and Woetzel are creationist explorers who have tried to promote the existence of living pterosaurs and dinosaurs. In fact, Woetzel has gone as far to propose these living pterosaurs as the “fiery flying serpent” of Isaiah 30:6 in the Bible, claiming that the pterosaurs also give off a kind of bioluminescent glow they use to catch fish. For Woetzel, such anecdotes are enough to prove that humans and pterosaurs have always coexisted, and in a Creation Research Society Quarterly paper he asserts that “evolutionists have appropriated the natural fascination with the terrible reptiles to propound their belief in naturalistic origins and billions of years of evolution.  By God’s grace we should strive to tear down this high place and point people instead to the great Creator.”

Apparently Mr. Aym never learned in Journalism 101 that one should actually, y'know, verify your sources.

This rather glaringly points up the incredible inanity of creationists, as well as the piss-poor quality of reporters.  It's pretty pathetic when you have to turn to cryptozoology and ridiculous postulations about surviving pterosaurs to shore up your faith.  They're not even trying to shoehorn facts to fit the Bible - they're just making shit up.  If they weren't so faith-blind, they'd have a pretty good shot at a lucrative career writing fantasy.  Alas, people this god-deluded don't make good novelists.  Too preachy.  Fantasy fans want fun, not fundamentalism.

Brian, darling, thank you for giving me a good sendoff!  Now I must away to say my goodbyes to the cat (hopefully without getting maimed in the process) and brave Seattle morning traffic so I can bring you all some awesome geology, plus flowers.

If you're needing amusement whilst I'm away, call up your local creationist, tell him you've got living proof the descendants of the dinosaurs still walk among us, and give him a budgie.

Excuses, Excuses

I haven't got any good ones for not coming up with some scintillating posts today.  Oh, granted, it was hot enough to sap all of the life out of me, and we haven't any air conditioning.  And there was the Rocko's Modern Life marathon I'd recorded, which demanded to be watched.  Called the parents and taught my stepmother how to troubleshoot her own phone.  Put the finishing touches on the trip to the Olympics, and whittled the itinerary down to something manageable in the time we've got.  Chased after free geology publications from the state of Washington, but didn't get any of them read.  And had to venture forth from the house before I starved to death.  That, alas, is just about it.

I took a look at the political news and yawned.  Thought about reading some science blogs and discovered my brain had melted into a homogeneous little lump.  So it goes.

For those interested in where we'll be, plans look something like this:

Day I

Hurricane Ridge, where we shall be walking along the roof of the world and seeing some lovely geology.  Oh, and flowers, too.

A trip up the Elwha River Valley for Last Dam Summer - they're taking out the dams soon, so this is our last chance to see.

And, if time permits, Lake Crescent, which is twelve miles long and carved by a glacier.  If not, we'll be hitting that one in the ay-em.

Then o blessed sleep wot knits the raveled sleeve of... sorry.  It's just that with the temp still at 80 degrees in the house and the fact that I normally don't go to bed until sunrise, I know I won't sleep well tonight, and then there's all the lovely exercise to contend with.

Day II

Rialto Beach, if we get a chance, where we shall see the Hole-in-the-Wall.

Hoh Rainforest, because I've not yet seen a temperate rainforest.

And, if time permits, Ruby Beach, hopefully around sunset.

Then it's hope, and to sleep, wot knits - sorry. 

If I get the opportunity, I'll be posting a few sneak-peaks from the hotel tomorrow.  If not, you can expect something quite soon.  And I did load up a little something to tide you over while I'm gone, just in case the idea of a day without Dana horrifies you. 

Whilst I'm away, you might feel the urge to tell me about the mustn't-be-missed attractions in your area.  This would be wonderful, especially if you live in Indiana or North Carolina, as it seems I may be condemned privileged to visit them both next summer chasing after various relatives and best friends.  If you've written up a favorite place, do link to it in comments.  Shameless self promotion is good. Indulge yourselves!

I'll see ye when I return from the wilderness, or at least the bits of it that can be easily reached by automobile.

I Require a Sugar Daddy

That's the only conclusion I can come to.  So many books, so little time and money.  The problem has become acute, because I just discovered a whole slew of books I didn't know existed but desperately need to own.

It all began when Ron posted a comment telling me about the Roadside Geology of Mount Rainier National Park and Vicinity.  Why, yes, a little bit of drool did dribble down my chin.  Yes, I did shout "ZOMG I love you, Ron, thankyouthankyouthankyou!" 

I tend to shout that a lot when I'm reading comments from you lot, actually.  Even when you all do make me reconsider the advisability of marriage.

I've discovered the book is downloadable via the Washington State Department of Natural Resources for free, which is wonderful, but right now my computer is telling me just how unimpressed it is with the idea of downloading a 300mb+ file.  Not to mention, this machine's a little bulky for whipping out of a messenger bag.  So I may have no choice but to order the damned thing.  Pas de problem, as we used to say in French class - except while I was searching for a place where I could order that book, I came across this site full of recommended Northwest geology guidebooks.

I am so very, very fucked.

Well, actually, it's not as bad as all that.  I've already read quite a few of the books on that page.  Just under half, in fact.  However, the site's also full of field trips.  Lots and lots of geology field trips.

MOMMY.

It's going to take time, money, and freedom from the day job to do all of this stuff.  As I have yet to become independently wealthy from ye olde writing, there's nothing for it but to find some indulgent rich gentleman.  Or lady.  I'm not picky.  The poor sod will just have to put up with a homicidal cat and my quirks, not to mention being roundly ignored unless spry enough to accompany me on these trips.  Where, actually, they'll probably be roundly ignored because I'll be too busy drooling over rocks.  And if they're under the mistaken impression that they'll have me all to themselves in the winter, well, that's the writing season, wherein I become a hermit whilst I frantically scribble on ye olde magnum opus.  Not to mention, there's all that reading to catch up on.

But if you're rich and looking for a good wife who won't get underfoot as long as you shower her with books on geology and money for field trips, or if you wish to revive the classical concept of patronage, I am now accepting applications.

Palinisms and a Very Good Point

Lockwood takes note of the new book of Palinisms soon to be published, and makes a damned good point:

However, I think that simply listing all these strange quotes (and they are strange) for the LOLs misses the point. First, it gets old pretty quick. Second, it overlooks, even obscures, the strange phenomenon of Palin: here is a person who apparently cannot tack together an intelligible sentence in the English language without a prompt, and even then it's iffy. Yet people are paying her hundreds of thousands of dollars, even millions, for her writing and speeches. What does that say about the media, and what does it say about us? That is the book I'd like to read.

Yeah, me too.  To tell the truth, I have utterly no interest in reading a book of Palin quotes, even to poke fun at her.  At least with Bush and his Bushisms, you could sorta see where he'd intended to go, and where he'd taken the wrong turn at Albuquerque, and that made his verbal blunders all the funnier.  With Palin, it's just painful.  It's like trying to make fun of a retarded person who's on drugs and is suffering from recent head trauma.  It's just sad.  The only thing funny is that she believes she's qualified to be POTUS, and even that hilarity is tempered by horror, because there are people dumb enough to vote for her.

I don't know what's worse: that, or the fact they find her babble comprehensible.  Maybe it's like scripture or Nostradamus: nonsensical enough that people can read into it whatever they want to hear.  And perhaps that explains why she gets paid so much money for her inane shit.

I Haz Been Betrayed

There was only one quiet interval at work today wherein I could check my email, and there was this cry for help from my stepmother.  She's got a new cell phone. 

What new cell phone? I fired back while my stomach made like iron and nickel on the molten earth and sank.

I will not mention the make and model, as that would betray where I work, and I do not want to tempt my corporate overlords into separating me from my only means of acquiring kitty kibble.  Needless to say, she'd chosen the one phone that is the bane of my existence (and the source of considerable job security).  It's one of the most complicated phones we carry.  And this purchased by a woman who, a few years ago, swore she'd never own a cell phone ever in her life, and who only last year was flummoxed by a pre-paid flip phone.

So I spent my lunch hour muttering "I can't fucking believe you bought that fucking phone!" whilst helping her bring it to the point where it could potentially make and receive calls.  I feel betrayed.  I expected better of my family.  Next thing I know, my dear old Dad will be calling me up wanting help with the same model, or worse.  At least I know the ins-and-outs of the thing.  And at least they won't blame me for its quirks.

Still. 

At least I have solid proof, should I ever need it, that my bitching about this phone in my private life carries no weight with anyone whatsoever.  Even my own family doesn't listen to me.  So the company needn't worry about my impact upon its sales...

A Walk in the Volcanic Clouds

I won't have the geology from our trip to Mount Rainier up for a while - I'm still trying to catch up on Oregon and Grand Coulee, not to mention Arizona (and it's been over a year since that!).  Haven't done the research and am still scratching me head over a lot of the things I saw.  But that doesn't mean you don't get to vacation vicariously with me. 

We came in on the Mather Memorial Parkway, which was named in honor of the first director of the National Park Service.  There's a wonderful little pullout by the White River that claims to give even more wonderful views of Mount Rainier.  This might be true.  However, most of what we could see in the distance consisted of clouds and trees.  Well, there was the White River, too, and a lovely little cascade of a waterfall:

I believe that's andesite it's tumbling over, but don't hold me to it.

Grammar Lessons with Bigfoot and Unicorn

Brian Switek linked to this on Twitter, and the English major in me laughed and squeed and decided it was essential to share it with you:

Where was this shit when we were in school?

Dumbfuckery du Jour

Most weeks, I try to avoid pollyticks on the weekends.  But there are times, like now, when I'm presented with a target-rich environment, and I have poor impulse control, sooooo....

First, let's catch up with Louie Gohmert and his terror babies:

Anderson Cooper gave Gohmert a chance to make his case on CNN last night, presenting any substance he has to bolster the theory. You'll just have to watch the clip to believe it.

To sum it up, Cooper asked for some evidence to support the assertions Gohmert has been making -- in the media, on the House floor, etc. Gohmert responded by shouting a lot, and having something of a breakdown.

I give Cooper a lot of credit for handling this like a pro. He kept his cool, tried to conduct a serious interview, and wasn't rattled when Gohmert lost his mind. But there just wasn't much he could do with the right-wing Texan. You'll just have to watch to see what I mean.

Postscript: Just as an aside, I can't help but wonder what kind of influential position the House Republican leadership will give Gohmert if they take back the House majority.

I'm beginning to wonder if I should be beating up on ol' Louie.  It's not nice to make fun of the mentally ill.  Then again, when the batshit insane jackass has been elected to public office, I suppose the normal rules of etiquette don't apply.  But this video is dramatic evidence that this man belongs in a mental institution, not the halls of Congress.  My uncle sounded saner than this when he went off his meds and tried to hold up a bank so he could buy a yacht and become a pirate in the Florida Keys (true story).  He was foaming at the mouth so badly I had to watch this with the transcript handy - it was hard to hear through all the flying spittle.

And just think: a whole slate of Teabagger-beloved candidates have won their primaries, all just as frothing insane as ol' Louie.  Apparently, the idea is to turn the Capitol into Bedlam. Yeesh.


Anyway.  Moving on.  Right wing meme watch: it appears they've mostly weaned themselves from death panels and are hot on false gods:

Last week, U.S. District Court Judge Vaughn Walker struck down California’s Proposition 8, which prohibited same-sex couples from marrying in the state. Today, Walker lifted the stay on his decision, announcing that it will go into effect next week unless the appeals court issues a stay. Though the Republican response has been muted, some GOP lawmakers and a number of right-wing activists have been condemning both last week’s ruling and Judge Walker himself. Today, nationally-syndicated conservative Washington Examiner columnist Cal Thomas took the attacks to an entirely new level:

The decision by a single, openly gay federal judge to strike down the will of 7 million Californians, tradition dating back millennia (not to mention biblical commands, which the judge decided, in his capacity as a false god, to also invalidate) is judicial vigilantism equal to Roe v. Wade. [...]

Either the Right Wing Meme Committee met recently without us knowing, this dumbfuck looks to Sharron Angle for inspiration, or insane minds just think alike.  I'm not sure which it is.  I just hope we can all take a turn at being false gods before the meme dies, because it sounds like fun.

And, finally, Steve Benen attempts to school the Teabagging fools on what net neutrality actually means:

Apparently, Tea Party groups and leaders have been giving net neutrality a look, and they've decided they don't like it.

[snip]

Let's put this in a way Tea Partiers can understand. Let's say Mr. and Mrs. Tea Party Zealot love to use the Internet for political activism -- they frequent right-wing websites, send around clips of Hannity and Limbaugh, organize right-wing events, post sycophantic praise on Sarah Palin's website, the works.

But let's say their service provider is a (cue scary music) liberal company, which contributes heavily to Democrats. The media giant that this family pays for Internet access wants to make it easy for customers to access socialist content, send around pictures of Karl Marx, coordinate with the New Black Panther Party, and send money to gay illegal immigrants, but would make it exceedingly difficult to access RedState.com, visit Glenn Beck's activist sites, access Palin's Facebook age, etc.

At that point, Mr. and Mrs. Tea Party Zealot would probably be pretty unhappy. It's not fair, they'd conclude, that some Internet content (which they don't want) is easily accessible, while other content (stuff they do want) is slow and difficult. What they'd prefer is a level playing field, where all content is equally easy to reach.

What they want, in other words, is net neutrality.

That's clear and succinct and should be easy enough for any idiot to understand.  Unfortunately, it's desperately hard to talk sense into the senseless.

Wonderful Life

It's been one of those perfect nights - good food, lying about under the stars watching a few desultory meteors flash across the skies, cuddles with kitteh.  I've spent the past hour writing up some of the trip pics from Rainier, and that should be ready for your viewing pleasure tomorrow.  It's just one of those moments when life is truly beautiful.

So I thought I'd take a moment and invite you to envision your perfect moments.  Just drop whatever you're doing and remember a time when life filled you to overflowing, until you felt you could burst from the beauty of it all.  Have you got it?  Good.  Indulge, revel, immerse yourself in that memory for a moment.

There.  Now you've got a proper start to your weekend.  Go forth and have the time of your lives.

Dumbfuckery du Jour

Well, I guess this rules out building churches, too:

Bryan Fischer, who wrote a blog post this week arguing that the U.S. should have "no more mosques, period," explained to TPM today that "every single mosque is a potential terror training center or recruitment center for jihad" and thus "you cannot claim first amendment protections if your religious organization is engaged in subversive activities."

The most hilarious thing is that Fischer singled out the Hutaree militia as an example of a religious group getting locked up, apparently failing to realize that this rather puts paid to his argument.  For some reason, his brand of Christian dumbass can't figure out that the radical Islamic groups like al Qaeda are to Islam what Hutaree is to Christianity.  Therefore, if you're going to paint the whole bunch with one radical brush, you've just managed to fuck over your own faith in the process.

Alas, logic was never a strong suit for folks like him.  We could, in fact, probably find out if there's a gene for logic by comparing his genome to actual rational people.

Meanwhile, one of the contenders for the Florida governorship has a bad case of AZ-envy:

The details of [Bill] McCollum's plan, as reported by the Miami Herald: "The proposed law would require immigrants to carry valid documentation or face up to 20 days in jail and would allow judges to hand down stiffer penalties to illegal immigrations who commit the same crimes as legal residents."

"Arizona is going to want this law,'' McCollum told reporters. "We're better, we're stronger, we're tougher and we're fairer.''

Apparently, Republican primaries are now contests for America's Next Top Xenophobic Fascist Fuck. And McCollum's one of the less certifiably-insane ones. 

This shit keeps up, the next edition of the DSM will have to include "was once or is now a candidate in a Republican primary" as one of the diagnostic criteria for mental disorders.

One Good One

I just spent an hour out on the porch waiting for the Perseids to put on a show.  I got one good one and a couple of small ones.  It's times like this I miss living out in the middle of nowhere.  Too much light pollution, too many damned trees here.  The cat got disgusted with the whole enterprise and abandoned me halfway through.

Of course, some folks didn't get a thing - Neil Gaiman and Suzanne, alas, got clouds.  So, for them, some second-hand meteors from the Komo News website:



And, in honor of the Perseids (and Neil Gaiman, who inspired this song), Lunascape's Raven Star:



Did any of the rest of you see anything good?

The Biology of Squee

Jerry Coyne explains the evolution of adorable, and reminds us that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, in a truly excellent post - complete with squee.  I commend it to your attention.  While you're distracted, I'm going to sneak off to bed with my extremely adorable kitteh.

That is, if I can extract her from the tissue paper she's currently bunking on.  Maybe Jerry should look into the evolution of the feline attraction to all things made of wood pulp...