Oh hey! I moved to Wordpress!

I'm still in the process of migrating my old content to Wordpress, but all new posts will come from estellasrevenge.net (which was formerly forwarded to this Blogger address). See you there!

I'm Holding Up This Space for Me

In light of the Kavanaugh hearings, there's been a lot of talk of whether or not to unfriend people on Facebook, whether it's productive to "argue about politics" online, etc. They're the same discussions we rehash over and over, though they never really lose relevance.

My Facebook page, blog, twitter is for me, first and foremost. I don't hold that space up for others unless I decide to do exactly that. I hold up space for discussion every day: in my classroom, in my online classes, and through my work which is in service to others. My anger, my inspiration, my personal struggles, I choose who is privy to those. I choose carefully.

I use my Facebook privacy settings like they're integral to my well-being...because they are. I have Facebook split into some specific groups:

Restricted - This usually includes folks I grew up with or those who live in my hometown whose views are wildly polarized to mine. I live in, arguably, the most conservative district in an already-conservative Texas. I've actually had relatives ask me, "Do you get death threats?" for some of the things I post, and the answer is no. No, because I choose who sees my political postings. I know my audience and I control my message.

Friends - I post to my Friends list usually when it's a well-worded, fairly kind, or personal post of interest to those around me. Family pictures, funny memes of a crowd-pleasing variety, animals videos.

Public - The very least of the categories...artwork, more crowd-pleasing or funny posts, profile details like photos or headers. The basics. Stuff I don't mind my students seeing if they're creeping.

I've had lots of folks I care deeply about, suggest that I stand up as an example to those who disagree with me. Be a beacon of light and hope. Be kind. Put out positivity. Sadly, I'm human, and sometimes I don't have it in me. Sometimes I just want to say "motherfucker" and rant.  See my recent Facebook memes. I'll say it again.  I hold up space for myself. I hold up space for myself online. I love sharing with friends, I love feedback, but at the end of the day, I'm doing my rational discussing of the issues with people in person. That's my job every. single. day. I hope something I've written along the way touched or inspired you, but mostly I'm interested in inspiring myself to keep going, to keep fighting, to keep believing in and taking action, and learning more about my own white feminism, ableism, etc.

today's rage

Barbara Kruger, "Untitled (Your body is a battleground)," 1989.

Before 45 was elected, I wrote this post about losing my "voice" after sexual assault. Well, hey, almost two years later, and after that garbage fire election I stopped writing and reading. Two of the things that make me feel most "me." Surprised? Not really. Disappointed? Yes.

But here I am. It's Blasey-Ford testimony day, and I tuned in for about 5 minutes. Long enough for Ford to tell them she's 100% sure it was Kavenaugh (not a thing that gets confused, in my experience), and then they went to recess, and the news commentators on a network I normally like discussed her girlish voice.

So now I'm sitting here in tears, listening to angry music, and not watching any live streams. I called and berated my Senators, and I'll write some #postcardstovoters here in a bit, and I'll continue to feel rage. Delicious, righteous rage. RAGE.

All we have right now is our rage and our voices. That's it. Republicans have made up their minds, so grab a friend, talk to someone undecided or moderate, and when you have a flat tire on election day, or an awful sinus infection, or it's just a shitty day, go vote anyway if you're physically and emotionally able.

Vote them out.

To hell with them all.

I Read It Twice Already: Inspired by Rachel Held Evans

Blogger was drunk in my previous draft. Let's try this again.

I sat with this book--Inspired: Slaying Giants, Walking on Water, and Loving the Bible Again by Rachel Held Evans--for almost a month. I'd listen on audio for a while, rewind, start over, listen some more. After a while I became so desperate to annotate that I ordered a physical copy. After I'd finish a chunk of the audio, I'd re-read the physical text and write notes, observations, and underline...a lot. 

"Drawing on the best in recent scholarship and using her well-honed literary expertise, Evans examines some of our favorite Bible stories and possible interpretations, retelling them through memoir, original poetry, short stories, soliloquies, and even a short screenplay. Undaunted by the Bible's most difficult passages, Evans wrestles through the process of doubting, imagining, and debating Scripture's mysteries. The Bible, she discovers, is not a static work but is a living, breathing, captivating, and confounding book that is able to equip us to join God's loving and redemptive work in the world."

In short, this book should probably be titled "Reading the Bible Like a Reader" but that's not nearly as catchy. Not convinced that Jonah was really swallowed by a whale? Unsure about miracles? Many-headed beasts with 10 crowns? 


RHE (my pet name for her) jumps into interpretations that integrate culture, history, and the instances when whether or not the stories within the Bible really happened just don't matter. This book looks the Bible's most confusing bits straight in the face and insists we can uphold a Christianity about inviting people to the table rather than asking them to leave. 

I admit, I'm already reading it again (on audio and in print).