Our computer crashed...

Our two-year-old computer went ker-plunk on us last night. We lost EVERYTHING.

I'm most devastated that we lost MOST of our pictures. That is the thing I hate the most about the digital camera...I off-load the pictures onto my computer then never put them to a disc or anything. So, I lost all my pictures that we took when we visited Grandma for the last time before she died. I'm heartbroken. Thankfully I have two printed off at school that I can reproduce them into other prints, but I'm still very sad.

Lesson learned? After our computer comes back from the grave I will buy a jump drive and will be DILIGENT to save EVERYTHING to that drive so that in the event this happens again, my life won't be so crushed.

Don't know when I'll next be able to blog...as I'm illegally blogging from work right now...but I will try my best to hop on when I can!

~Kristen

They PASSED!!!!

As some of you know, I have had a rough school year this year with my two sophomore English classes. I agreed to take on a new course, English 10 Literacy, thinking I would have a class full of nice, hard-working students who just needed help with their reading skills.

WRONG...

Instead I got 24 students who are severe discipline problems, in trouble with the law, have a range of emotional problems, and who do not do any work whatsoever. I now only have 18 students as six have moved, been expelled, or have dropped out of school.

And to make my year more stressful, it is during the 10th grade year that all students must take five different graduation tests. These tests are given in Reading, Math, Writing, Science, and Social Studies. The tests are not scantron; students are required to justify almost all of their answer, meaning they do not just pick from a, b, c, d, or e. It is a test that they must pass in order to get a diploma from any Ohio high school, otherwise they get a certificate of attendance.

I almost lost sleep over the test, thinking "oh great, Mr. W is going to come to me and say 'Kristen, why didn't all of your Literacy students pass the test?'" I was very fearful of this. But,

THEY PASSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The results came to the high school today. Now, when I say they passed, I mean they passed the reading and writing test. Some of them passed all five parts, and a few have just one or two test to try next year. Of my 18 students, one young man did not pass the reading portion and another young man did not pass the writing, but the other 16 passed both.

I am so proud of my kids!!!

Thoughts on becoming a mother...

I found this on the blog of a hopefully former trouble trying to conceive friend (who just found out she is pregnant through a second FET cycle, although she is cautiously excited as she has had three previous miscarriages). This is from Maria's blog...

Thoughts on becoming a Mother...

There are women that become mothers without effort, without thought, without patience or loss and though they are good mothers and love their children, I know that I will be better.
I will be better not because of genetics, or money or that I have read more books but because I have struggled and toiled for this child.
I have longed and waited.
I have cried and prayed.
I have endured and planned over and over again.
Like most things in life, the people who truly have appreciation are those who have struggled to attain their dreams.
I will notice everything about my child.
I will take time to watch my child sleep, explore and discover.
I will marvel at this miracle every day for the rest of my life.
I will be happy when I wake in the middle of the night to the sound of my child, knowing that I can comfort, hold and feed him and that I am not waking to take another temperature, pop another pill, take another shot or cry tears of a broken dream.
My dream will be crying for me.
I count myself lucky in this sense; that God has given me this insight, this special vision with which I will look upon my child that my friends will not see.
Whether I parent a child I actually give birth to or a child that God leads me to, I will not be careless with my love.
I will be a better mother for all that I have endured.
I am a better wife, a better aunt, a better daughter, neighbor, friend and sister because I have known pain.
I know disillusionment as I have been betrayed by my own body.
I have been tried by fire and hell many never face, yet given time, I stood tall.
I have prevailed.
I have succeeded.
I have won.
So now, when others hurt around me, I do not run from their pain in order to save myself discomfort.
I see it, mourn it, and join them in theirs.
I listen.
And even though I cannot make it better, I can make it less lonely.
I have learned the immense power of another hand holding tight to mine, of other eyes that moisten as they learn to accept the harsh truth and when life is beyond hard.
I have learned a compassion that only comes with walking in those shoes.
I have learned to appreciate life.
Yes I will be a wonderful mother.

......SOMEDAY!!!!!!

Surrogate Motherhood

This has been quite an end of the week. Barb & Chuck, who are my parent's neighbors and best friends, went to Virgina to see their oldest son graduate from Pharmacy school. Their youngest, Katie, is a junior at the high school and in the school musical and could not go to the graduation, so I became a surrogate mom for three days.

Having a teenager in the house is tiring! ;-)

Thursday I drove Katie home from school, then went home and let Cider out then returned to Katie's house to get her to the high school at at 5:45 then I ran to WW. I lost 0.2. Whatever. I then picked her up at 10:00 and stayed at her house Thursday night. Friday I drove her home from school to change quickly, then brought her to a local restaurant for the cast dinner. John and I then saw the show ("Jesus Christ Superstar") - it was FABULOUS - then brought her home and stayed again. This morning I got up and brought her to a picnic at 10:00, picked her up at 1:30 and dropped her off at dance class at 2:00, then picked her up at 3:15 and dropped her off at home. I am leaving here in about 10 minutes (it will be 4:55) to head back to her place to bring her back to the high school.

Like I said, I'm drained! :-)

What a week!

This week has been absolutely crazy. Here it is Friday and my week just flew by. To live my life, this is what you would have experienced:

Last weekend John and I went to the movies (Friday night). After the movie finished we noticed many missed calls on our cell phones. Turns out John's mom was in the hospital - viral meningitis. So Saturday after John got off of work we drove up to Cleveland to be with his mom. We ended up staying until almost 9:00 PM on Monday, as his mom wasn't released until late Monday night. Thankfully she is at home resting now and getting better with each day, despite still being on three bags of medicine each day, given via intravenously at home.

My period (sorry if too much details for you) started on its own this month. WOOOO HOOO!!! A little history for you...since having my failed FET in November my body has been royally screwed up. My last period, without problems, was last October. I got my period after I stopped the progesterone in December, then nothing in January. Finally on day 60 (in February and with the help of Provera) my period arrived. Then nothing again in March, then on day 59 (in April and again with the help of Provera) my period arrived. The doctor's nurses told me it was my body was trying to recover from all the meds. Guess that was true, because my period started pretty much on time this month and with no medicinal assistance. While I was sad there was no "miracle" pregnancy, I am thrilled that for this one month my body was back on track.

Then on Tuesday I got a call from a clinic in Cincinnati. I had been scheduled to go in June for a consultation for participating in a clinical IVF trial. Well, the trial is almost completely closed and in order to get a spot (one of one hundred spots) I would have had to go by today. Um, that didn't happen. So now this means absolutely no IVF this summer. And honestly, I am really okay with this. At times it saddens me that our journey to becoming parents has been delayed again, and pretty much indefinitely this time, but another part of me is really happy that I get my summer with no doctor's appointments, no needles, no blood work, etc. I get the chance to enjoy life.

Speaking of enjoying life, I resigned from band! I haven't written about it, but I did it! I turned in my resignation two weeks ago today. The head band director took it pretty well and my principal was very supportive. It is going to be so weird having July through October with no marching band, but I am so happy. No Friday nights with the band. No 4th of July with the band. No July 3 (my birthday!) with the band. No band camp! Life IS beautiful!

On Wednesday I got to enjoy being in my classroom again as my student teacher was out for the day. I realized how much I missed my students and interacting with them. Despite I decided that I won't have a student teacher again for a LONG time and I am really excited for next week to get here, as her last day is the 9th so this means that I get to be "phased back in" to my own classrooms by the middle part of the week. Woo Hoo!!!

On Thursday I went to WW. I FINALLY broke the curse...I lost 2.0 pounds. I am back to having lost over 11 pounds. My new goal is to be down 20 to 25 pound by the time I go see family at the end of June. I know I can do it, and I look forward to trying!

And today? Well, today is a good day. I've been floating in and out of my classrooms and I am looking forward to the weekend. Prom is tomorrow night and I am going to dinner with my friends and colleagues, then we will head to chaperone Prom. I always enjoy seeing my students looking so dapper and beautiful.

Like I said before, what a week!!!!!