Wednesday, March 31, 2004
Nelly + Taxi Cab Hike + John Kerry = My Life
Where to begin?
I was watching the local news last night and was pretty bummed to find out that the taxicab commission in NYC has gotten approval to increase their starting fare. Usually it costs $2 just to get IN a cab. Now, it will cost you $2.50. If you want to take a cab during rush hour on the weekdays, the fair gets another $1 slapped on to it. So, let’s summarize, shall we? If you get in a cab at 4:30pm on a Wednesday and ask to go 30 blocks uptown, understand that before the driver pulls away from the curb, you will pay $3.50. Now THAT seems fair.
But I guess if the cost of everything else goes up in NYC, so should the cab fares. Wish my salary went up as often as everything else does.
Johnny boy (!) my new President.
Last night I saw MTV’s “Choose Or Lose” special on would-be president John Kerry. While I was exhausted and really didn’t want to stay up any longer, I forced myself to sit through the brief half hour special on the Democratic candidate. I have to admit…I was highly impressed. While he danced around quite a few major issues and never really took a stance on anything, I was impressed to see that he is a kind and smart man with a wonderful sense of humor. In my opinion, if you want to know what he’s REALLY about, don’t watch MTV, watch the news. But in any case, I was pleased to see him address the issue of gay marriage as well as the fact that most people that will vote for Kerry will do so on an ABB basis. ABB = Anybody But Bush.
Kerry’s hope is that the voters will not pick him based solely on the fact that Bush is his competition. Until last night, my feeling was the same as many other Americans. I am DONE with Bush and want him out immediately, but I want to have a reason for voting for the other party. Kerry does offer me that reason and I honestly feel like he will be the person that will bring the younger voters in – our next generation of leaders. So as long as all you non-voters go to the ballot box, we will be free of Bush’s bullshit forever!
Funny, since I made the mistake of voting for Bush during the last election. Yet, what were my options? Gore? It really didn’t matter. We were due for four years of garbage no matter how you looked at it.
So John Kerry…my hat is off to you. You get my support and you get it with confidence. I trust him. Something tells me to do so. I believe he will be the candidate that will allow our nation to grow as a unified whole.
Now, Nelly. And by Nelly (who I’m usually not “into”), I mean, band-aid wearing, hot black guy that raps about it being hot in herre. You know him, we all know him, and now I want him as my own.
Last night I had a dream. Similar to Martin Luther King, except I didn’t nail anything on a church door when I was finished. Ok yeah I did, but it didn’t have the same effect.
In the dream I am sleeping in my bed. My bedroom door was locked and I was watching TV. Much like my usual routine as I go to bed. Suddenly, Kelly knocks on my door. I roll over and try to go to sleep, not in the mood to answer the door. She continues to knock and knock and knock and I start to feel as though I should let her in. As I am mulling this over, she unlocks my door and comes in. I am immediately irritated and I say to her “Kelly, you don’t just WALK into my room when the door is locked.” She responds “I have a visitor to see you.” I spit back “Kelly, no visitors, I’m in bed!”
The door opens and Kelly moves to the side so Nelly can enter. I immediately sit up and am like “OMG. Hi Nelly. How are you?”
Kelly leaves and shuts the door behind her. Nelly walks over to my bed and sits down. He is wearing a greenish t-shirt and cool jeans. He crosses one leg and begins to ask me how my day was and what I want to do for the evening. Without hesitation, I realize that Nelly and I are actually in a relationship and he came over to check on me.
He looked devastatingly handsome. In fact, he looked more than devastatingly handsome; he looked more beautiful than any man I have ever seen. As the dream continued, I started to ask myself some very odd questions.
1) Why was I dating a black man? I had never done that before and it still seemed kind of odd as I am usually not attracted to guys of color.
2) Why was I dating ANOTHER skinny guy? I had resolved in my head that after Paul, I was NOT going to date skinny ever again. It just doesn’t do anything for me.
3) How LONG have Nelly and I been dating? I felt clueless as to the factors surrounding our relationship.
Above all of these questions, the thing that stood out to me the most was that I felt so happy and fulfilled for the first time in a while. I felt sexually charged and relaxed. I wanted Nelly to wrap his arms around me and to hold me for as long as both of us needed. It was a feeling that I don’t get with Paul, nor have I gotten with any guy I have ever been with. As soon as I started to notice and enjoy this feeling, it was gone. I was ripped from the dream and left empty.
Obviously there is no obvious meaning to this dream. A couple of years ago, I had a dream about P-Diddy that made my legs quiver and I had a crush on him for a month or so (sick, I know). I figure that this Nelly thing will be just about the same. The only real difference between the two dreams is how I felt sitting next to Nelly. There was nothing physical, no chance at hooking up, just an overall feeling of satisfaction.
How do I find that in my real life?
Definitely something to ponder after I vote for John Kerry and take a cab home.
Where to begin?
I was watching the local news last night and was pretty bummed to find out that the taxicab commission in NYC has gotten approval to increase their starting fare. Usually it costs $2 just to get IN a cab. Now, it will cost you $2.50. If you want to take a cab during rush hour on the weekdays, the fair gets another $1 slapped on to it. So, let’s summarize, shall we? If you get in a cab at 4:30pm on a Wednesday and ask to go 30 blocks uptown, understand that before the driver pulls away from the curb, you will pay $3.50. Now THAT seems fair.
But I guess if the cost of everything else goes up in NYC, so should the cab fares. Wish my salary went up as often as everything else does.
Johnny boy (!) my new President.
Last night I saw MTV’s “Choose Or Lose” special on would-be president John Kerry. While I was exhausted and really didn’t want to stay up any longer, I forced myself to sit through the brief half hour special on the Democratic candidate. I have to admit…I was highly impressed. While he danced around quite a few major issues and never really took a stance on anything, I was impressed to see that he is a kind and smart man with a wonderful sense of humor. In my opinion, if you want to know what he’s REALLY about, don’t watch MTV, watch the news. But in any case, I was pleased to see him address the issue of gay marriage as well as the fact that most people that will vote for Kerry will do so on an ABB basis. ABB = Anybody But Bush.
Kerry’s hope is that the voters will not pick him based solely on the fact that Bush is his competition. Until last night, my feeling was the same as many other Americans. I am DONE with Bush and want him out immediately, but I want to have a reason for voting for the other party. Kerry does offer me that reason and I honestly feel like he will be the person that will bring the younger voters in – our next generation of leaders. So as long as all you non-voters go to the ballot box, we will be free of Bush’s bullshit forever!
Funny, since I made the mistake of voting for Bush during the last election. Yet, what were my options? Gore? It really didn’t matter. We were due for four years of garbage no matter how you looked at it.
So John Kerry…my hat is off to you. You get my support and you get it with confidence. I trust him. Something tells me to do so. I believe he will be the candidate that will allow our nation to grow as a unified whole.
Now, Nelly. And by Nelly (who I’m usually not “into”), I mean, band-aid wearing, hot black guy that raps about it being hot in herre. You know him, we all know him, and now I want him as my own.
Last night I had a dream. Similar to Martin Luther King, except I didn’t nail anything on a church door when I was finished. Ok yeah I did, but it didn’t have the same effect.
In the dream I am sleeping in my bed. My bedroom door was locked and I was watching TV. Much like my usual routine as I go to bed. Suddenly, Kelly knocks on my door. I roll over and try to go to sleep, not in the mood to answer the door. She continues to knock and knock and knock and I start to feel as though I should let her in. As I am mulling this over, she unlocks my door and comes in. I am immediately irritated and I say to her “Kelly, you don’t just WALK into my room when the door is locked.” She responds “I have a visitor to see you.” I spit back “Kelly, no visitors, I’m in bed!”
The door opens and Kelly moves to the side so Nelly can enter. I immediately sit up and am like “OMG. Hi Nelly. How are you?”
Kelly leaves and shuts the door behind her. Nelly walks over to my bed and sits down. He is wearing a greenish t-shirt and cool jeans. He crosses one leg and begins to ask me how my day was and what I want to do for the evening. Without hesitation, I realize that Nelly and I are actually in a relationship and he came over to check on me.
He looked devastatingly handsome. In fact, he looked more than devastatingly handsome; he looked more beautiful than any man I have ever seen. As the dream continued, I started to ask myself some very odd questions.
1) Why was I dating a black man? I had never done that before and it still seemed kind of odd as I am usually not attracted to guys of color.
2) Why was I dating ANOTHER skinny guy? I had resolved in my head that after Paul, I was NOT going to date skinny ever again. It just doesn’t do anything for me.
3) How LONG have Nelly and I been dating? I felt clueless as to the factors surrounding our relationship.
Above all of these questions, the thing that stood out to me the most was that I felt so happy and fulfilled for the first time in a while. I felt sexually charged and relaxed. I wanted Nelly to wrap his arms around me and to hold me for as long as both of us needed. It was a feeling that I don’t get with Paul, nor have I gotten with any guy I have ever been with. As soon as I started to notice and enjoy this feeling, it was gone. I was ripped from the dream and left empty.
Obviously there is no obvious meaning to this dream. A couple of years ago, I had a dream about P-Diddy that made my legs quiver and I had a crush on him for a month or so (sick, I know). I figure that this Nelly thing will be just about the same. The only real difference between the two dreams is how I felt sitting next to Nelly. There was nothing physical, no chance at hooking up, just an overall feeling of satisfaction.
How do I find that in my real life?
Definitely something to ponder after I vote for John Kerry and take a cab home.
Friday, March 26, 2004
Do you know what she did? Your cunting daughter?
It’s FRIDAY!
YAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
I really don’t have that much going on this weekend. Have to run a bunch of errands and have to play my new videogame – see The Suffering. Other than that, I am going to try to find a way to enjoy the nice weather. Maybe bring my book (see- The Davinci Code) to the river tomorrow afternoon and relax for a bit. Oooh…that sounded like such a wonderful idea when I wrote it. But odds are I will end up lying in my bed with my dick between my legs.
Last night I rolled around in my bed with my lil’ guy Jimbo. He and I have become incredibly close over the last few months. He is so fucking cute that when he’s near me I turn into a puddle of gobbery goo goo daddy goo. Gobble goo. Paul remarked on how well Jim knows me. When he would go to pick him up, Jim would scamper away and crawl inside the crook of my arm. He would then peek his head out at Paul and then bury himself away in my arm again. It was super really awesome really hella great cute. I love him and am actually looking FORWARD to going home and loving on him for a couple of hours.
Um…can anyone say The Apprentice? LOVE it. I was so nervous last night because I thought that my little Nicholas was going to get fired. I ultimately believe that Amy will win the job, but that Nicky…he is so fucking cute that it makes my legs quiver. The show rocks and I eat up every second of it. Paul tends to talk a lot through the show and I actually had to tell him to “Shut his gay mouth” a bunch of times. He then proceeded to tickle me ad nauseum.
Did you like the way I used the phrase “ad nauseum”? I learned it recently and I vowed to use it whenever I could. I never knew it was spelled “AD nauseum”. That’s PRETTY cool. I love you, you ridiculous English language.
What else, what else…
I guess not much. I had a fart this morning that was boiling hot. I think it burned the back of my leg. I now have a blister there and when it pops it will smell like eggs. Yum…free breakfast!
Alright ya’ll…enjoy whatever it is you got planned.
You best expect that this hot bitch will!
Smooches!
And also…
Booches.
It’s FRIDAY!
YAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
I really don’t have that much going on this weekend. Have to run a bunch of errands and have to play my new videogame – see The Suffering. Other than that, I am going to try to find a way to enjoy the nice weather. Maybe bring my book (see- The Davinci Code) to the river tomorrow afternoon and relax for a bit. Oooh…that sounded like such a wonderful idea when I wrote it. But odds are I will end up lying in my bed with my dick between my legs.
Last night I rolled around in my bed with my lil’ guy Jimbo. He and I have become incredibly close over the last few months. He is so fucking cute that when he’s near me I turn into a puddle of gobbery goo goo daddy goo. Gobble goo. Paul remarked on how well Jim knows me. When he would go to pick him up, Jim would scamper away and crawl inside the crook of my arm. He would then peek his head out at Paul and then bury himself away in my arm again. It was super really awesome really hella great cute. I love him and am actually looking FORWARD to going home and loving on him for a couple of hours.
Um…can anyone say The Apprentice? LOVE it. I was so nervous last night because I thought that my little Nicholas was going to get fired. I ultimately believe that Amy will win the job, but that Nicky…he is so fucking cute that it makes my legs quiver. The show rocks and I eat up every second of it. Paul tends to talk a lot through the show and I actually had to tell him to “Shut his gay mouth” a bunch of times. He then proceeded to tickle me ad nauseum.
Did you like the way I used the phrase “ad nauseum”? I learned it recently and I vowed to use it whenever I could. I never knew it was spelled “AD nauseum”. That’s PRETTY cool. I love you, you ridiculous English language.
What else, what else…
I guess not much. I had a fart this morning that was boiling hot. I think it burned the back of my leg. I now have a blister there and when it pops it will smell like eggs. Yum…free breakfast!
Alright ya’ll…enjoy whatever it is you got planned.
You best expect that this hot bitch will!
Smooches!
And also…
Booches.
Wednesday, March 24, 2004
The FAT of It
Last night I was watching the local news, which has become my new favorite thing by the way, and they did a special on a new diet craze. At first I was pretty excited as I am always looking for a new and creative way to shed a few excess pounds.
I was introduced to My Pet Fat.
Upon first glance, my pet fat looks pretty cute and lovable. I mean it’s like a little friend that you can carry around in your back pocket. I immediately wanted to buy one for everyone I knew. But as the news story continued, I became increasingly grossed out and ultimately offended. And as we know, it takes A LOT for me to become either grossed out OR offended.
My pet fat is actually a plastic blob that is supposed to represent the fat gunk that resides in your legs, ass, or in my case, the mid-section. The blob is yellow and looks like the fat particles you pulled out of that frog you dissected in 11th grade. It is absolutely disgusting. The best (worst) part is that the yellow fat has bloody veins running through it to remind you that what you are looking at is essentially your own body. The purpose of this product? To remind you that when you are shoving Snicker’s Bars and Donuts in your face, those delicious treats are eventually going to become your own Pet Fat, cept it will be resting idly on your body. This product is supposed to gross you out and remind you that you shouldn’t be eating anything that tastes good.
The idea itself is not totally ridiculous. I mean, some people might really like to buy the 1 ounce Pet Fat to leave at their computer; its beedy eyes staring at you every time you take a bite of that greasy (wonderful) cheese pizza. I am sure that if I had a 5 pound glob of lipids in my lap, I might vomit everything that I put in my mouth. So you see…pet fat could really work. If you’re into that sort of thing.
The end of the news segment is what really pissed me off. On top of advertising this repulsive product, the reporter included various clips of obese people walking around the city. And yes, they showed their faces. In the background the voiceover was saying something to the effect of “If this is you, you may really want to consider buying yourself a pet fat. The summer is coming and it’s time to put on those bathing suits. The best way to look good in that suit…carry a pet fat with you as the constant reminder of how lazy your eating habits have become.”
Excuse me?
I’m sorry, but in my opinion, it’s about fucking time that we lay off the weight issue. I mean, McDonald’s is cutting out their “Super Size” meals because America is too fat. Airplane services try to charge overweight people two fares because they claim the seats aren’t big enough for their ass. Atkins, The South Beach Diet, liquid diets, Trimspa…fucking enough!
Truthfully, obesity is the number one most preventative killer in the United States. But does that mean that America has to go to great lengths to make overweight people feel bad in the process? Carrying a few extra pounds sucks for the individual as it is; combined with the fact that everyone else can see their issue as it’s displayed prominently on their body. They have no way of hiding this problem.
I want everyone to mind their own fucking business. It’s not like overweight people don’t KNOW that they are on the heavy side. It’s not like overweight people are ENJOYING being on the heavy side either. Let’s take a collective agreement to let people be the way they are. If overweight individuals want to lose weight, let them do it on their own. Let’s stop making judgments on everything and everybody. Let’s stop criticizing. It’s like none of us can be happy unless we point out the misfortune of others. It makes me sick. Sicker than when I was looking at My Pet Fat.
Now, time to go plunk down $100 so I can have the biggest pet fat available! He’s going to look so cute dressed up as a sailor on Easter.
Last night I was watching the local news, which has become my new favorite thing by the way, and they did a special on a new diet craze. At first I was pretty excited as I am always looking for a new and creative way to shed a few excess pounds.
I was introduced to My Pet Fat.
Upon first glance, my pet fat looks pretty cute and lovable. I mean it’s like a little friend that you can carry around in your back pocket. I immediately wanted to buy one for everyone I knew. But as the news story continued, I became increasingly grossed out and ultimately offended. And as we know, it takes A LOT for me to become either grossed out OR offended.
My pet fat is actually a plastic blob that is supposed to represent the fat gunk that resides in your legs, ass, or in my case, the mid-section. The blob is yellow and looks like the fat particles you pulled out of that frog you dissected in 11th grade. It is absolutely disgusting. The best (worst) part is that the yellow fat has bloody veins running through it to remind you that what you are looking at is essentially your own body. The purpose of this product? To remind you that when you are shoving Snicker’s Bars and Donuts in your face, those delicious treats are eventually going to become your own Pet Fat, cept it will be resting idly on your body. This product is supposed to gross you out and remind you that you shouldn’t be eating anything that tastes good.
The idea itself is not totally ridiculous. I mean, some people might really like to buy the 1 ounce Pet Fat to leave at their computer; its beedy eyes staring at you every time you take a bite of that greasy (wonderful) cheese pizza. I am sure that if I had a 5 pound glob of lipids in my lap, I might vomit everything that I put in my mouth. So you see…pet fat could really work. If you’re into that sort of thing.
The end of the news segment is what really pissed me off. On top of advertising this repulsive product, the reporter included various clips of obese people walking around the city. And yes, they showed their faces. In the background the voiceover was saying something to the effect of “If this is you, you may really want to consider buying yourself a pet fat. The summer is coming and it’s time to put on those bathing suits. The best way to look good in that suit…carry a pet fat with you as the constant reminder of how lazy your eating habits have become.”
Excuse me?
I’m sorry, but in my opinion, it’s about fucking time that we lay off the weight issue. I mean, McDonald’s is cutting out their “Super Size” meals because America is too fat. Airplane services try to charge overweight people two fares because they claim the seats aren’t big enough for their ass. Atkins, The South Beach Diet, liquid diets, Trimspa…fucking enough!
Truthfully, obesity is the number one most preventative killer in the United States. But does that mean that America has to go to great lengths to make overweight people feel bad in the process? Carrying a few extra pounds sucks for the individual as it is; combined with the fact that everyone else can see their issue as it’s displayed prominently on their body. They have no way of hiding this problem.
I want everyone to mind their own fucking business. It’s not like overweight people don’t KNOW that they are on the heavy side. It’s not like overweight people are ENJOYING being on the heavy side either. Let’s take a collective agreement to let people be the way they are. If overweight individuals want to lose weight, let them do it on their own. Let’s stop making judgments on everything and everybody. Let’s stop criticizing. It’s like none of us can be happy unless we point out the misfortune of others. It makes me sick. Sicker than when I was looking at My Pet Fat.
Now, time to go plunk down $100 so I can have the biggest pet fat available! He’s going to look so cute dressed up as a sailor on Easter.
Tuesday, March 23, 2004
I’m…I’m…I’m just being honest.
Is it wrong that every day for more than an hour, I bring my blanket and pillow and sleep in the student lounge with all of the other kids sitting around me studying algebra, thermonuclear dynamics, and philosophy?
Is it also wrong that when I wake up, I yawn and stretch my bones as though working at my job is one of the hardest and most physically demanding jobs I could take in this city?
And lastly, is it totally inappropriate for me to lay there, with Jewish kids around me, imagining musclemen whisking me away to a land of rough, yet passionate sex?
Eh. Just wondering.
Cuz it’s my life.
This week has been pleasantly uneventful. The weather is finally getting nicer, my co-workers moods have improved (slightly) and my apartment looks so beautiful bathed in the glow of warm sunshine. Makes me want to walk around singing Pink’s “God is a DJ”. And I hate Pink. Unless it’s a pink vagina. Now THAT I can get down with.
(running to the bathroom to vomit)
Ok, now that I’ve wiped my mouth of the excess puke, I can think about more important issues. Like, well, why does Jessica Simpson have a man face? And if she does have a man face, does that mean that Nick Lachey is gay? And if THAT’S the case, does he really mean to be married to me?
Or how come Ryan Seacrest is 5 inches tall? It seems to me that every time I switch on my TV, he gets littler and littler until he is SO yiddle that all of the 14 year old American Idol Contestants are bigger and stronger than he will ever be!
There’s also the plaguing dilemma of Rudy Huxtable in that Chingy video! I mean…scaring me Rudy.
Maybe, instead, I will discuss the difference between poop and pee.
You see, poop consists of a solid while pee consists of a liquid. No, that can’t be right. My poop is often classified as a liquid. They do come out of different holes though and that is very important in discussing the truth behind the poop and the pee. But is a stream of yellow corn and one is stream of peas and carrots. But both taste like vegetables and are good for you. On the other hand I think tha…
Gotta go.
Is it wrong that every day for more than an hour, I bring my blanket and pillow and sleep in the student lounge with all of the other kids sitting around me studying algebra, thermonuclear dynamics, and philosophy?
Is it also wrong that when I wake up, I yawn and stretch my bones as though working at my job is one of the hardest and most physically demanding jobs I could take in this city?
And lastly, is it totally inappropriate for me to lay there, with Jewish kids around me, imagining musclemen whisking me away to a land of rough, yet passionate sex?
Eh. Just wondering.
Cuz it’s my life.
This week has been pleasantly uneventful. The weather is finally getting nicer, my co-workers moods have improved (slightly) and my apartment looks so beautiful bathed in the glow of warm sunshine. Makes me want to walk around singing Pink’s “God is a DJ”. And I hate Pink. Unless it’s a pink vagina. Now THAT I can get down with.
(running to the bathroom to vomit)
Ok, now that I’ve wiped my mouth of the excess puke, I can think about more important issues. Like, well, why does Jessica Simpson have a man face? And if she does have a man face, does that mean that Nick Lachey is gay? And if THAT’S the case, does he really mean to be married to me?
Or how come Ryan Seacrest is 5 inches tall? It seems to me that every time I switch on my TV, he gets littler and littler until he is SO yiddle that all of the 14 year old American Idol Contestants are bigger and stronger than he will ever be!
There’s also the plaguing dilemma of Rudy Huxtable in that Chingy video! I mean…scaring me Rudy.
Maybe, instead, I will discuss the difference between poop and pee.
You see, poop consists of a solid while pee consists of a liquid. No, that can’t be right. My poop is often classified as a liquid. They do come out of different holes though and that is very important in discussing the truth behind the poop and the pee. But is a stream of yellow corn and one is stream of peas and carrots. But both taste like vegetables and are good for you. On the other hand I think tha…
Gotta go.
Friday, March 19, 2004
The Last 36 Hours
Over the last 36 hours I have had quite a few random experiences.
It all started on a stormy St. Patrick’s Day evening. I met up with my friends Angie and Mariah and my little ghoulie Paul was there. We had some drinks and played some music and danced around like idiots. Finally at 10pm we decided that we couldn’t spend the whole evening inside. I mean, it was St. Paddy’s day after all.
We trudged out into the cold and hiked our way to the Boiler Room . Once there we downed a few vodka tonics and played a few games that I learned in acting class. Anyone up for a round of BUZZZZZZZ? The crowd was lifeless and lame, so we THEN decided to go over to Urge for one more round of green vodka.
Upon walking in the door, I noticed a familiar face sitting at the bar. I glanced at him a few times and I kept thinking, “That’s Randyboy! “I just know it…that looks like my old friend Randyboy!” I turned to my friends for confirmation and Paul was like “No way. That’s not him.” But I just felt that it was, so I turned once again to that familiar Randy face and mouthed “Are you Randy?” His face looked confused, so I marched right up to him and asked him up close. “Are you RRRRANDY?” (Always trilling my R’s) His face lit up and we proceeded to have hot passionate sex on the floor of the bar.
Well, the clothes stayed on and the tongue within the confines of our own mouths, but it was pure joy seeing him. The last time that Randy and I were in the same place, it was about two years or so ago. My friend Rita and I met him at a bar, while he was visiting from Chicago. He was a faithful reader of my journal and I always liked what he had to say. We seemed to click really well. That night at the bar was a blast, but in typical Joe style, I threw the wall up and never returned his calls. Now that our paths have crossed again, I’m sincerely hoping that he and I will become fast friends. As we decided, he’s supplies the gay boys; I supply the entertainment of lipstick lesbian hotness. It all works out in the end.
So to my Randyboy: Lesbee friends! Very much looking forward to hanging out with you soon.
After a couple of drinks, we left the bar so that Paul could make us all English muffin pizzas. They were burnt, but kinda good.
Yesterday I decided to invite my old friend Mark (from Albany) to visit me in NYC. Mark is someone that I kind of dated a few times at the end of last year and we have kept in touch since then. Paul doesn’t want me hanging out with him because he has a super good body and treats me like a princess. It’s not that I’m cheating on Paul by having Mark down…we never hook up. The most we do is hug a little and lay in bed with our t-shirts and shorts on. Very G rated.
So Mark showed up at my place and we drank some wine and talked about our lives. It was really wonderful seeing him in person again. When he wraps his big arms around me, it makes me feel uniquely differently than I do with Paul. It’s not like I’m falling for Mark or anything, but…(heavy sigh)…he’s definitely a breath of fresh air in my otherwise stuffy world.
Mark and I ate some pizza and watched a movie and slept for about 3 hours. He left promptly at 9am and then I came to work. Feeling a little out of sorts, but also really satisfied. Nice combo for once.
Upon arriving at work, Ari and I ordered some breakfast from the local deli. I took a huge dump and then we left to pick it up. Right before we walked out with our bounty, I looked in the window and noticed that Dan Futterman was sitting there. Who is Dan Futterman you may ask? Well…click on his picture and you will see! He was very very adorable sitting in the window reading a script and drinking his coffee. I hope to one day say to him “I think it’s very cool that we are in the same movie. Especially since I have been stalking you since that day in the deli. You didn’t know I was there, but I knew you were there and I blew my load on myself. Glad we can be actors together.”
Ari was upset that we didn’t give him our “boobies” when we had the chance. I was upset too.
Other than that, my 36 hours have been a cake walk. Sometimes I hide in my bedroom for days, only emerging to piss and shit and occasionally brush my teeth. Other days, I run into my Randyboy, have an encounter with a past flame, and rub elbows with the acting elite.
Now back to my bed.
Have a great weekend everyone!
Over the last 36 hours I have had quite a few random experiences.
It all started on a stormy St. Patrick’s Day evening. I met up with my friends Angie and Mariah and my little ghoulie Paul was there. We had some drinks and played some music and danced around like idiots. Finally at 10pm we decided that we couldn’t spend the whole evening inside. I mean, it was St. Paddy’s day after all.
We trudged out into the cold and hiked our way to the Boiler Room . Once there we downed a few vodka tonics and played a few games that I learned in acting class. Anyone up for a round of BUZZZZZZZ? The crowd was lifeless and lame, so we THEN decided to go over to Urge for one more round of green vodka.
Upon walking in the door, I noticed a familiar face sitting at the bar. I glanced at him a few times and I kept thinking, “That’s Randyboy! “I just know it…that looks like my old friend Randyboy!” I turned to my friends for confirmation and Paul was like “No way. That’s not him.” But I just felt that it was, so I turned once again to that familiar Randy face and mouthed “Are you Randy?” His face looked confused, so I marched right up to him and asked him up close. “Are you RRRRANDY?” (Always trilling my R’s) His face lit up and we proceeded to have hot passionate sex on the floor of the bar.
Well, the clothes stayed on and the tongue within the confines of our own mouths, but it was pure joy seeing him. The last time that Randy and I were in the same place, it was about two years or so ago. My friend Rita and I met him at a bar, while he was visiting from Chicago. He was a faithful reader of my journal and I always liked what he had to say. We seemed to click really well. That night at the bar was a blast, but in typical Joe style, I threw the wall up and never returned his calls. Now that our paths have crossed again, I’m sincerely hoping that he and I will become fast friends. As we decided, he’s supplies the gay boys; I supply the entertainment of lipstick lesbian hotness. It all works out in the end.
So to my Randyboy: Lesbee friends! Very much looking forward to hanging out with you soon.
After a couple of drinks, we left the bar so that Paul could make us all English muffin pizzas. They were burnt, but kinda good.
Yesterday I decided to invite my old friend Mark (from Albany) to visit me in NYC. Mark is someone that I kind of dated a few times at the end of last year and we have kept in touch since then. Paul doesn’t want me hanging out with him because he has a super good body and treats me like a princess. It’s not that I’m cheating on Paul by having Mark down…we never hook up. The most we do is hug a little and lay in bed with our t-shirts and shorts on. Very G rated.
So Mark showed up at my place and we drank some wine and talked about our lives. It was really wonderful seeing him in person again. When he wraps his big arms around me, it makes me feel uniquely differently than I do with Paul. It’s not like I’m falling for Mark or anything, but…(heavy sigh)…he’s definitely a breath of fresh air in my otherwise stuffy world.
Mark and I ate some pizza and watched a movie and slept for about 3 hours. He left promptly at 9am and then I came to work. Feeling a little out of sorts, but also really satisfied. Nice combo for once.
Upon arriving at work, Ari and I ordered some breakfast from the local deli. I took a huge dump and then we left to pick it up. Right before we walked out with our bounty, I looked in the window and noticed that Dan Futterman was sitting there. Who is Dan Futterman you may ask? Well…click on his picture and you will see! He was very very adorable sitting in the window reading a script and drinking his coffee. I hope to one day say to him “I think it’s very cool that we are in the same movie. Especially since I have been stalking you since that day in the deli. You didn’t know I was there, but I knew you were there and I blew my load on myself. Glad we can be actors together.”
Ari was upset that we didn’t give him our “boobies” when we had the chance. I was upset too.
Other than that, my 36 hours have been a cake walk. Sometimes I hide in my bedroom for days, only emerging to piss and shit and occasionally brush my teeth. Other days, I run into my Randyboy, have an encounter with a past flame, and rub elbows with the acting elite.
Now back to my bed.
Have a great weekend everyone!
Wednesday, March 17, 2004
I Answer Your Questions
For my entry today, I have decided to go through my old emails in my “CuttheShit” account and to answer some of the questions that have been asked of me. I tend to be really lazy when it comes to email correspondence, so I thought that by posting my answers, I would at least be doing something half ass, rather than no ass.
When did you realize that you were gay?
I first knew that I was gay when I was in 8th grade. It suddenly occurred to me that when I thought about Arnold Schwarzenegger, my dick would spring to life. I remember specifically picturing a woman and having my dick go lifeless. Then picturing Arnie’s hulking body my dick would become rigid all over again. Now, to be honest, I didn’t think I was “Gay”. I thought that I was normal; just not normal enough to discuss my desires with anyone else. As time progressed, I just hoped and prayed that I would start to like girls like everyone else instead of the array of boys in the weight room. It didn’t happen that way and I finally came out the closet when I turned 21.
If you could be anything besides an actor, what would it be?
Honestly, there is NOTHING else I would want to be. Whether I make it big in my 20’s, 30’s or 70’s, I don’t think that I will ever pursue anything else as a career. The acting bug is ingrained in me and I don’t have much of a desire to be anything, but a performer. The biggest fear I have is that I will be 75 years old and still an administrative assistant. I refuse to take on a new career until I have made major leaps with this one.
Why are you still with Paul?
Paul and I have been together for over four years. Not a day goes by when I wonder if we are supposed to be together. This is conveyed in every post I do and in every conversation that I have with the closest people in my life. Paul is a wonderful person and has a lot to offer, but I’m unsure if what he has to offer is what I need. I find myself sad a lot with Paul because I know that if we break up, there is a very distinct possibility of me losing him entirely. I guess I keep hoping that by holding out, things will just get better. There is a lot more to this story, but not having Paul is my life is the biggest inhibitor to me making that change.
What is your favorite thing to do in New York City?
My most favorite thing to do in New York City has to be sitting outside at a restaurant with a glass of wine in one hand and a cigarette in the other. I could take or leave the food, no matter what restaurant we are at. Chilling with a friend on a beautiful New York afternoon, sun shining, both of us laughing, smoke coming from our nostrils…it’s a beautiful thing really. I am muchly looking forward to Spring.
When I come visit, can I stay with you?
No.
If you could live anywhere else in the world, where would it be?
If I could live anywhere in the world, it would be on the beach in California. I have been having a major gnawing at my insides to move out West. I don’t think I’m ready for that kind of change yet, but it is definitely in the cards for my future. I love New York. Always will. But I prefer the warmth and I prefer cars to public transportation. Mostly I just want to be in a place that is a bit more relaxed that the bitter, fast paced lifestyle of New York City. I thrive on being busy and do my best work when stress is involved. However, I don’t enjoy the stress when it involves going to the corner food mart to get a soda. Everything here is a hassle. An addicting hassle, but a hassle nonetheless.
Are you angry at your brother for joining the army?
I wouldn’t say that I am angry WITH my brother, but I am definitely angry at the situation. While my posts don’t always reflect my respect for the US ARMY, I definitely have it instilled in me. My father served in the ARMY Reserves for over 25 years and he always taught his children about the importance of the military. Some days it gets a little too hard for me. Hence my post yesterday. But most times I am overly proud and in awe of what people like my brother do on a daily basis. The selfish side of me wants my brother back for me. He and I are incredibly close and not having him near me over the last couple of years has definitely taken its toll on my heart. I just want him back. We can discuss the ARMY and his role in it after that.
Are you going to close down your journal?
Not just yet! I will give ample notice, I promise.
OK! That’s it for today. I hope I didn’t offend anyone by answering these questions in a public format, but I kept everyone anonymous so that it was something we could all share equally. I appreciate the email feedback I get and hope that everyone understands that I am truly horrible with correspondence of any kind. Ask any of my friends who live out of town (please don’t bother my friends).
Have a great day ya’ll!
Much much love and respect.
For my entry today, I have decided to go through my old emails in my “CuttheShit” account and to answer some of the questions that have been asked of me. I tend to be really lazy when it comes to email correspondence, so I thought that by posting my answers, I would at least be doing something half ass, rather than no ass.
When did you realize that you were gay?
I first knew that I was gay when I was in 8th grade. It suddenly occurred to me that when I thought about Arnold Schwarzenegger, my dick would spring to life. I remember specifically picturing a woman and having my dick go lifeless. Then picturing Arnie’s hulking body my dick would become rigid all over again. Now, to be honest, I didn’t think I was “Gay”. I thought that I was normal; just not normal enough to discuss my desires with anyone else. As time progressed, I just hoped and prayed that I would start to like girls like everyone else instead of the array of boys in the weight room. It didn’t happen that way and I finally came out the closet when I turned 21.
If you could be anything besides an actor, what would it be?
Honestly, there is NOTHING else I would want to be. Whether I make it big in my 20’s, 30’s or 70’s, I don’t think that I will ever pursue anything else as a career. The acting bug is ingrained in me and I don’t have much of a desire to be anything, but a performer. The biggest fear I have is that I will be 75 years old and still an administrative assistant. I refuse to take on a new career until I have made major leaps with this one.
Why are you still with Paul?
Paul and I have been together for over four years. Not a day goes by when I wonder if we are supposed to be together. This is conveyed in every post I do and in every conversation that I have with the closest people in my life. Paul is a wonderful person and has a lot to offer, but I’m unsure if what he has to offer is what I need. I find myself sad a lot with Paul because I know that if we break up, there is a very distinct possibility of me losing him entirely. I guess I keep hoping that by holding out, things will just get better. There is a lot more to this story, but not having Paul is my life is the biggest inhibitor to me making that change.
What is your favorite thing to do in New York City?
My most favorite thing to do in New York City has to be sitting outside at a restaurant with a glass of wine in one hand and a cigarette in the other. I could take or leave the food, no matter what restaurant we are at. Chilling with a friend on a beautiful New York afternoon, sun shining, both of us laughing, smoke coming from our nostrils…it’s a beautiful thing really. I am muchly looking forward to Spring.
When I come visit, can I stay with you?
No.
If you could live anywhere else in the world, where would it be?
If I could live anywhere in the world, it would be on the beach in California. I have been having a major gnawing at my insides to move out West. I don’t think I’m ready for that kind of change yet, but it is definitely in the cards for my future. I love New York. Always will. But I prefer the warmth and I prefer cars to public transportation. Mostly I just want to be in a place that is a bit more relaxed that the bitter, fast paced lifestyle of New York City. I thrive on being busy and do my best work when stress is involved. However, I don’t enjoy the stress when it involves going to the corner food mart to get a soda. Everything here is a hassle. An addicting hassle, but a hassle nonetheless.
Are you angry at your brother for joining the army?
I wouldn’t say that I am angry WITH my brother, but I am definitely angry at the situation. While my posts don’t always reflect my respect for the US ARMY, I definitely have it instilled in me. My father served in the ARMY Reserves for over 25 years and he always taught his children about the importance of the military. Some days it gets a little too hard for me. Hence my post yesterday. But most times I am overly proud and in awe of what people like my brother do on a daily basis. The selfish side of me wants my brother back for me. He and I are incredibly close and not having him near me over the last couple of years has definitely taken its toll on my heart. I just want him back. We can discuss the ARMY and his role in it after that.
Are you going to close down your journal?
Not just yet! I will give ample notice, I promise.
OK! That’s it for today. I hope I didn’t offend anyone by answering these questions in a public format, but I kept everyone anonymous so that it was something we could all share equally. I appreciate the email feedback I get and hope that everyone understands that I am truly horrible with correspondence of any kind. Ask any of my friends who live out of town (please don’t bother my friends).
Have a great day ya’ll!
Much much love and respect.
Tuesday, March 16, 2004
Winfield
My brother called yesterday and we spoke on the phone for almost an hour. There isn’t that much going on with me at my job this week, so I was really able to give him my full attention, which he truly deserves during every phone call. I was hoping I would hear from him yesterday and like he could read my mind, the phone rang at 2:30pm and we got to have our talk.
Overall, my brother is in very high spirits. He has handled his tour in Baghdad with such grace and positivity. It always astounds me that he has such strict control over his emotions. I can barely keep a smile on my face for one full day and I live in NYC with my friends and crack whores all around me. But Winfield very rarely cries about being in Baghdad. Yesterday, he even told me that he is so happy that he has been able to have the experience of being in a war. It has given him quite a lot of perspective.
It was at this point that he and I discussed his future career with the military.
When I was in Syracuse this weekend, I had the opportunity to discuss my brother’s return from Baghdad with Rita’s mother. She has quite a bit of personal experience in this area as Rita’s dad has been in the service for over 25 years. He has been all over the world and as she told me this weekend that they have encountered many obstacles once he returned from his tour of duties. “Expect Winfield to be kind of cold upon his arrival. It will be hard for him to return to normal life after being submersed in a war zone for over a year.” It felt so good being able to get advice from someone who actually knows what it is like to be in this type of situation.
During the conversation with my brother, we mostly discussed our plans for his visit in May. He wants to do everything, from seeing Broadway plays to sitting around watching corny TV. Once I found a lull in the conversation, I asked him about his future in the ARMY. Usually my brother responds “I am done as soon as I get out in May. I can’t wait for this whole thing to be over and to be able to pursue a different path.” However, yesterday he said the opposite. “I don’t know what I want to do yet. I’m thinking that I could remain in the military and pursue a different path with them.” I about lost my shit.
Now, with all due respect, my brother has achieved quite a bit during his short time in the service. He moves up in the ranks very quickly and he has always been at the top of his class. As was written a couple months ago in this journal, he has even been nominated for a Bronze Star. He must be doing GREAT things there for this to have happened.
The second he mentioned continuing with the military, we launched into a very in depth conversation about the effects of this kind of decision on both his girlfriend and family. While my brother thinks that he “needs to do what he needs to do”, I was very clear in reminding him that his decision does not effect him alone. He has always done what he thinks he needs to do, without any regard for the consequences on those that love him.
I explained that while we may never know what it was really like for him to be in Baghdad, he will never know what it was like for all of us to be here; worrying and crying and freaking out every day over the fact that he is in consistent danger. In my opinion, his life may be more physically dangerous, but our lives have been emotionally crippled by his choices.
It will be impossible for me to ever understand a personal calling such as his. I feel the same type of calling, but it’s for performance, and it doesn’t worry my family that I would be killed in my pursuit of this dream. While I may wholeheartedly disagree with his thought process in continuing with the military, I will always be here to support whatever decision he makes. BUT, I will put him through emotional hell before that happens. And I will enforce the fact that he and I will never be as close as we could be if he made the choice to get out.
I drove my point home yesterday and I know he heard me loud and clear. Stay in the military if that is what you wish, but the daily support will not be as powerful and understanding as it is now.
My parents are VERY strong in their resolve to see him out of the ARMY. When I called my mom to tell her about my conversation with my brother, she was like “He does not want to come home and tell me that he is staying in the service. I’ll kill him.” While this may seem a bit ludicrous to some people, I agree with her completely and will do whatever I can to keep him out. Ultimately supporting him in his decision the best I can.
Not everyone is cut out for the military lifestyle. My brother is good at everything he does. He has talents that have yet to be explored. For him to continue in the same vein only limits his talents and leaves all of us in constant fear.
By the end of the conversation, I could tell that he was happily influenced by my words. Sometimes it’s hard to remember that you have a life that is very fragile back home. Sometimes it’s hard to forget where your priorities really lie.
All I can do at this point is to be as understanding as I can be. But the truth of the matter is, he better not decide to stay in. We will ALL be against that decision and it will tear our family further apart.
I am excited, but also filled with anxiety about his impending visit. Who will he be? How will he act? What decisions will he have already made?
I pray to God, cuz that’s the only thing I really know how to do.
God will take care of it and will lead my brother in the right direction. I can only hope that he will soften our hearts to this in the process.
My brother called yesterday and we spoke on the phone for almost an hour. There isn’t that much going on with me at my job this week, so I was really able to give him my full attention, which he truly deserves during every phone call. I was hoping I would hear from him yesterday and like he could read my mind, the phone rang at 2:30pm and we got to have our talk.
Overall, my brother is in very high spirits. He has handled his tour in Baghdad with such grace and positivity. It always astounds me that he has such strict control over his emotions. I can barely keep a smile on my face for one full day and I live in NYC with my friends and crack whores all around me. But Winfield very rarely cries about being in Baghdad. Yesterday, he even told me that he is so happy that he has been able to have the experience of being in a war. It has given him quite a lot of perspective.
It was at this point that he and I discussed his future career with the military.
When I was in Syracuse this weekend, I had the opportunity to discuss my brother’s return from Baghdad with Rita’s mother. She has quite a bit of personal experience in this area as Rita’s dad has been in the service for over 25 years. He has been all over the world and as she told me this weekend that they have encountered many obstacles once he returned from his tour of duties. “Expect Winfield to be kind of cold upon his arrival. It will be hard for him to return to normal life after being submersed in a war zone for over a year.” It felt so good being able to get advice from someone who actually knows what it is like to be in this type of situation.
During the conversation with my brother, we mostly discussed our plans for his visit in May. He wants to do everything, from seeing Broadway plays to sitting around watching corny TV. Once I found a lull in the conversation, I asked him about his future in the ARMY. Usually my brother responds “I am done as soon as I get out in May. I can’t wait for this whole thing to be over and to be able to pursue a different path.” However, yesterday he said the opposite. “I don’t know what I want to do yet. I’m thinking that I could remain in the military and pursue a different path with them.” I about lost my shit.
Now, with all due respect, my brother has achieved quite a bit during his short time in the service. He moves up in the ranks very quickly and he has always been at the top of his class. As was written a couple months ago in this journal, he has even been nominated for a Bronze Star. He must be doing GREAT things there for this to have happened.
The second he mentioned continuing with the military, we launched into a very in depth conversation about the effects of this kind of decision on both his girlfriend and family. While my brother thinks that he “needs to do what he needs to do”, I was very clear in reminding him that his decision does not effect him alone. He has always done what he thinks he needs to do, without any regard for the consequences on those that love him.
I explained that while we may never know what it was really like for him to be in Baghdad, he will never know what it was like for all of us to be here; worrying and crying and freaking out every day over the fact that he is in consistent danger. In my opinion, his life may be more physically dangerous, but our lives have been emotionally crippled by his choices.
It will be impossible for me to ever understand a personal calling such as his. I feel the same type of calling, but it’s for performance, and it doesn’t worry my family that I would be killed in my pursuit of this dream. While I may wholeheartedly disagree with his thought process in continuing with the military, I will always be here to support whatever decision he makes. BUT, I will put him through emotional hell before that happens. And I will enforce the fact that he and I will never be as close as we could be if he made the choice to get out.
I drove my point home yesterday and I know he heard me loud and clear. Stay in the military if that is what you wish, but the daily support will not be as powerful and understanding as it is now.
My parents are VERY strong in their resolve to see him out of the ARMY. When I called my mom to tell her about my conversation with my brother, she was like “He does not want to come home and tell me that he is staying in the service. I’ll kill him.” While this may seem a bit ludicrous to some people, I agree with her completely and will do whatever I can to keep him out. Ultimately supporting him in his decision the best I can.
Not everyone is cut out for the military lifestyle. My brother is good at everything he does. He has talents that have yet to be explored. For him to continue in the same vein only limits his talents and leaves all of us in constant fear.
By the end of the conversation, I could tell that he was happily influenced by my words. Sometimes it’s hard to remember that you have a life that is very fragile back home. Sometimes it’s hard to forget where your priorities really lie.
All I can do at this point is to be as understanding as I can be. But the truth of the matter is, he better not decide to stay in. We will ALL be against that decision and it will tear our family further apart.
I am excited, but also filled with anxiety about his impending visit. Who will he be? How will he act? What decisions will he have already made?
I pray to God, cuz that’s the only thing I really know how to do.
God will take care of it and will lead my brother in the right direction. I can only hope that he will soften our hearts to this in the process.
Monday, March 15, 2004
A Wonderful Weekend That Ended In A Nightmare
This weekend I was an honorary woman at my best friend Rita’s wedding shower. Picture 25 women and me – the superGAYstar of the group. To be honest, I thought that I was going to feel more uncomfortable than I did. In fact, I loved being the only guy. The girls totally treated me like a man (despite the amount of estrogen) and I really felt super special.
I was the one that got to help Rita open her presents. I was the one who held the pole during the piñata game. I was the one that spent the most time with Rita’s family. And I was the one that Rita would look at to find that feeling of home. At one point I pulled her aside and I said “Usually I would need you to reaffirm my friendship with you and its importance during this type of event, but this time I feel it automatically. I feel like it’s happening to you and I at the same time. I feel it and I couldn’t be happier than I am right now.”
Rita’s sister, Jeannie, planned the most amazing wedding shower. It was catered by Dinosaur BBQ which supplied delicious pulled pork sandwiches. I ate 4 within a couple of hours and boy did I enjoy every burp that I had for the rest of the afternoon! Rita raked in some pretty incredible presents as well. It made me totally want to get married. I mean, I could SO use a new set of wooden spoons.
I took my friend Angie with me on the trip. She and Rita have known each other for a couple of years and I thought it would be good for her to get out of the city for awhile. Well, I didn’t expect her to get along with everyone as well as she did. I mean, she was without a doubt the star of the weekend. She had the best jokes, the best hugs, and made it comfortable not only for me to spend time with everyone alone, but as a group as well. At one point, Rita’s family started chanting “Angie for President 2004!” I can’t tell you how proud I was to have her by my side. If I needed anything, Angie was there with support. From talks to favors I needed, she never complained once. In fact, she obliged with nothing but love. Muchly impressed with her.
I also got fitted for my Tux! It looks SO handsome and I could see the joy all over Rita’s face. The wedding is in 7 weeks and I couldn’t be more excited. Her wedding dress is the best I have ever seen. Simple, yet SO elegant. If it weren’t for her fiancé, I think that she and I would look AMAZING standing next to each other at the alter. Except for the no sex on the honeymoon part.
Too short of a weekend for my tastes, but aren’t they all?
Last night when I got home, I immediately climbed into bed with Paul. We had some nice talks and laughs and shoved our faces with pounds of Italian food. Maybe it was the amount I ate before bed or it was the fact that I have so much swirling around my mind, but in any case, this is what I dreamed:
My parents, friends and I were hanging out in my house. I was trying to feed the hamsters when I noticed that they were multiplying. (You may recall that I had a similar dream to this a couple of months ago) There were the cutest little babies and I remember my mom and me playing with them for what seemed like hours. But then…the inevitable…they started coming out of my closets and out from under my bed and they began to bite me over and over.
My parents and I ran away from them and got into the car. Along the trip I became enraged with anger. It felt like an intense burning in my stomach that I couldn’t release in any way other than with physical brutality. I began kicking the door from inside the car. It wouldn’t break off so I began screaming at my mother while repeatedly kicking at the hinges of the door. I remember wishing that I could cry and release the anger that way, but it was physically impossible.
Eventually I broke the door off the car and got out. I then turned around and began kicking the doors to my parent’s car inward. My mother was screaming for me to stop and I continued to let the fury out threw kicking. It was awful. The whole time I was dreaming I tried to make myself calm down, but couldn’t.
When I woke up at 5am this morning, I was covered in sweat and shaking. I immediately lit a cigarette and sat there trying to erase the dream from my head. When I fell back to sleep, I noticed that the hamsters were still multiplying in my head and the dream began all over again.
My alarm went off at 7:30am this morning and I just laid there upset.
Why am I so subconsciously angry?
It definitely gave me a lot to think about today.
Especially after having such a beautifully calm weekend with my best friends.
This weekend I was an honorary woman at my best friend Rita’s wedding shower. Picture 25 women and me – the superGAYstar of the group. To be honest, I thought that I was going to feel more uncomfortable than I did. In fact, I loved being the only guy. The girls totally treated me like a man (despite the amount of estrogen) and I really felt super special.
I was the one that got to help Rita open her presents. I was the one who held the pole during the piñata game. I was the one that spent the most time with Rita’s family. And I was the one that Rita would look at to find that feeling of home. At one point I pulled her aside and I said “Usually I would need you to reaffirm my friendship with you and its importance during this type of event, but this time I feel it automatically. I feel like it’s happening to you and I at the same time. I feel it and I couldn’t be happier than I am right now.”
Rita’s sister, Jeannie, planned the most amazing wedding shower. It was catered by Dinosaur BBQ which supplied delicious pulled pork sandwiches. I ate 4 within a couple of hours and boy did I enjoy every burp that I had for the rest of the afternoon! Rita raked in some pretty incredible presents as well. It made me totally want to get married. I mean, I could SO use a new set of wooden spoons.
I took my friend Angie with me on the trip. She and Rita have known each other for a couple of years and I thought it would be good for her to get out of the city for awhile. Well, I didn’t expect her to get along with everyone as well as she did. I mean, she was without a doubt the star of the weekend. She had the best jokes, the best hugs, and made it comfortable not only for me to spend time with everyone alone, but as a group as well. At one point, Rita’s family started chanting “Angie for President 2004!” I can’t tell you how proud I was to have her by my side. If I needed anything, Angie was there with support. From talks to favors I needed, she never complained once. In fact, she obliged with nothing but love. Muchly impressed with her.
I also got fitted for my Tux! It looks SO handsome and I could see the joy all over Rita’s face. The wedding is in 7 weeks and I couldn’t be more excited. Her wedding dress is the best I have ever seen. Simple, yet SO elegant. If it weren’t for her fiancé, I think that she and I would look AMAZING standing next to each other at the alter. Except for the no sex on the honeymoon part.
Too short of a weekend for my tastes, but aren’t they all?
Last night when I got home, I immediately climbed into bed with Paul. We had some nice talks and laughs and shoved our faces with pounds of Italian food. Maybe it was the amount I ate before bed or it was the fact that I have so much swirling around my mind, but in any case, this is what I dreamed:
My parents, friends and I were hanging out in my house. I was trying to feed the hamsters when I noticed that they were multiplying. (You may recall that I had a similar dream to this a couple of months ago) There were the cutest little babies and I remember my mom and me playing with them for what seemed like hours. But then…the inevitable…they started coming out of my closets and out from under my bed and they began to bite me over and over.
My parents and I ran away from them and got into the car. Along the trip I became enraged with anger. It felt like an intense burning in my stomach that I couldn’t release in any way other than with physical brutality. I began kicking the door from inside the car. It wouldn’t break off so I began screaming at my mother while repeatedly kicking at the hinges of the door. I remember wishing that I could cry and release the anger that way, but it was physically impossible.
Eventually I broke the door off the car and got out. I then turned around and began kicking the doors to my parent’s car inward. My mother was screaming for me to stop and I continued to let the fury out threw kicking. It was awful. The whole time I was dreaming I tried to make myself calm down, but couldn’t.
When I woke up at 5am this morning, I was covered in sweat and shaking. I immediately lit a cigarette and sat there trying to erase the dream from my head. When I fell back to sleep, I noticed that the hamsters were still multiplying in my head and the dream began all over again.
My alarm went off at 7:30am this morning and I just laid there upset.
Why am I so subconsciously angry?
It definitely gave me a lot to think about today.
Especially after having such a beautifully calm weekend with my best friends.
Friday, March 12, 2004
Rolling Eyes Emoticon
There are two people in my office today. My boss and me. Everyone else is either out on vacation or home sick. It’s quite nice to have absolute silence in the work place, but I have to admit that I’m also tremendously bored. There’s only so much playing a girl can do!
I wasn’t going to go out for Mariah’s birthday event last night, but at the last minute decided that I had to push myself through it. I showed up at Pop Burger at 9:30pm and for the next two hours fit in as many conversations with old friends as I could. It was quite productive as far as catching up with people goes.
If you have never been to Pop Burger before, you must understand that the front of the restaurant looks like an extra hip McDonalds. The back part is a lounge/bar. It’s totally Metrosexual, which makes me cringe with irritation, but a very chill and laid back crowd overall. The cheeseburgers are mini-sized and taste like heaven. Well, if heaven were made of cheeseburgers.
At one point, I am sitting talking to my friend Joanna, when Kelly comes out of nowhere, puts her hands around my throat and shoves me against the wall. Now, this may seem a little violent to the average reader, but as soon as Kelly did that, I looked at her and said “What now?!?!” (Knowing that someone or something huge had just happened. - See, Kelly and I communicate via grabbing each other by the throat. You understand.)
She looks at me with huge eyes and says “Ahmad is on a date with a guy in the restaurant next door.” I was like “BOH!?” I immediately threw my jacket on, made sure Paul was out of sight, and hightailed it out the front door with her. Kelly, being the gem that she is, went in to the restaurant and pulled Ahmad from his date. I talked with him for about 10 minutes, the whole time him saying how “SO OVER ME HE IS”. We made tentative dinner plans for the next couple of weeks. But I still believe that if you have to tell someone that you are over them, you clearly aren’t.
He did look good. Very solid and pumped up. However, I just don’t get the fire for him anymore. He is a sweet kid and always treated me with nothing, but respect. Yet, I don’t feel any sort of chemistry with him any more. Also, the guy he was on the date with? YIKERIFF! When his date looked away, I looked at Ahmad and I go “Um…no.” Ahmad and I laughed at the fact that he was on a date with a nasty gay boy and then he left with him. Figures.
I left with Kelly around 11:30pm so that I could get some sleep before the big weekend of Rita’s wedding shower. Mariah walked in to the apartment at 1am and told me that Paul was completely missing. She and my friend Angie had put him in a cab and paid for his ride home a half hour earlier. Of course they had to peel his drunk ass off the ground before doing so. But when she arrived at home and Paul wasn’t there, we both started to panic.
He walked in around 3:30am.
When I woke up this morning I asked him where he was all night.
This was our brief conversation:
Me: “Where WERE you all night?”
Paul: “I have no idea at all.”
Me: “Did you go back out to another bar by yourself?”
Paul: “No I walked home when Mariah left.”
Me: “No you didn’t. You fell on the ground and hit your head and Mariah and Angie put you in a cab and sent you home.”
Paul: “Then why was I walking for hours?”
Me: “That’s the whole point. Why did you get out of the cab and then just walk for hours? It doesn’t make any sense to me. You went to another bar.”
Paul: “I have no idea where I was or what happened.”
Me: “So you are saying that you lost two hours of your life. You have no way of figuring out what happened between 1-3am?”
Paul: “I have no idea at all.”
Me: “You know who else loses hours of their life after falling down and slamming their head on the pavement?”
Paul: “Who?”
Me: “Alcoholics.”
Then I left for work. I’ll deal with that sorry shit on Sunday.
I’m REALLY glad to go to Syracuse this weekend. I definitely need some time away from this whole scene. It will feel so good to be in the open fresh air of Suburbia USA! Nice change of pace.
Get ready Rita!
I’m on my way!
There are two people in my office today. My boss and me. Everyone else is either out on vacation or home sick. It’s quite nice to have absolute silence in the work place, but I have to admit that I’m also tremendously bored. There’s only so much playing a girl can do!
I wasn’t going to go out for Mariah’s birthday event last night, but at the last minute decided that I had to push myself through it. I showed up at Pop Burger at 9:30pm and for the next two hours fit in as many conversations with old friends as I could. It was quite productive as far as catching up with people goes.
If you have never been to Pop Burger before, you must understand that the front of the restaurant looks like an extra hip McDonalds. The back part is a lounge/bar. It’s totally Metrosexual, which makes me cringe with irritation, but a very chill and laid back crowd overall. The cheeseburgers are mini-sized and taste like heaven. Well, if heaven were made of cheeseburgers.
At one point, I am sitting talking to my friend Joanna, when Kelly comes out of nowhere, puts her hands around my throat and shoves me against the wall. Now, this may seem a little violent to the average reader, but as soon as Kelly did that, I looked at her and said “What now?!?!” (Knowing that someone or something huge had just happened. - See, Kelly and I communicate via grabbing each other by the throat. You understand.)
She looks at me with huge eyes and says “Ahmad is on a date with a guy in the restaurant next door.” I was like “BOH!?” I immediately threw my jacket on, made sure Paul was out of sight, and hightailed it out the front door with her. Kelly, being the gem that she is, went in to the restaurant and pulled Ahmad from his date. I talked with him for about 10 minutes, the whole time him saying how “SO OVER ME HE IS”. We made tentative dinner plans for the next couple of weeks. But I still believe that if you have to tell someone that you are over them, you clearly aren’t.
He did look good. Very solid and pumped up. However, I just don’t get the fire for him anymore. He is a sweet kid and always treated me with nothing, but respect. Yet, I don’t feel any sort of chemistry with him any more. Also, the guy he was on the date with? YIKERIFF! When his date looked away, I looked at Ahmad and I go “Um…no.” Ahmad and I laughed at the fact that he was on a date with a nasty gay boy and then he left with him. Figures.
I left with Kelly around 11:30pm so that I could get some sleep before the big weekend of Rita’s wedding shower. Mariah walked in to the apartment at 1am and told me that Paul was completely missing. She and my friend Angie had put him in a cab and paid for his ride home a half hour earlier. Of course they had to peel his drunk ass off the ground before doing so. But when she arrived at home and Paul wasn’t there, we both started to panic.
He walked in around 3:30am.
When I woke up this morning I asked him where he was all night.
This was our brief conversation:
Me: “Where WERE you all night?”
Paul: “I have no idea at all.”
Me: “Did you go back out to another bar by yourself?”
Paul: “No I walked home when Mariah left.”
Me: “No you didn’t. You fell on the ground and hit your head and Mariah and Angie put you in a cab and sent you home.”
Paul: “Then why was I walking for hours?”
Me: “That’s the whole point. Why did you get out of the cab and then just walk for hours? It doesn’t make any sense to me. You went to another bar.”
Paul: “I have no idea where I was or what happened.”
Me: “So you are saying that you lost two hours of your life. You have no way of figuring out what happened between 1-3am?”
Paul: “I have no idea at all.”
Me: “You know who else loses hours of their life after falling down and slamming their head on the pavement?”
Paul: “Who?”
Me: “Alcoholics.”
Then I left for work. I’ll deal with that sorry shit on Sunday.
I’m REALLY glad to go to Syracuse this weekend. I definitely need some time away from this whole scene. It will feel so good to be in the open fresh air of Suburbia USA! Nice change of pace.
Get ready Rita!
I’m on my way!
Wednesday, March 10, 2004
What a Difference a Day Makes
So yesterday when I left work, I was remarking on how things seemed to be going very smoothly in my life. I mean, chaotic as fuck, but no real surprises. Since everything has been so nuts over the last month or so, I was happy to have a couple weeks without wondering how my apartment burned down or why the cat was speaking English. You know…no real surprises.
Well, then I got home from work yesterday.
I walked into my brand new, beautiful apartment, to find that my little guy “Jimbo” wasn’t in his cage. I tore his home apart looking for him and then noticed that one of the tubes that connect to his cage had become dislodged and fallen to the floor. Jim had escaped.
My heart stopped in my chest and I kept thinking “Why? WHY is this happening?” Jim is the hamster love of my life. He is so smart and kind and gentle. He is also very generous with local charities. He’s the total package really. Upon noticing that he escaped, I prepared myself for the worst. I hadn’t been home in a couple of days, so I was positive that he was dead. It was only a matter of finding the body.
I lifted up my bed, tore apart my closet, and had a long talk with our cat, Trey. I was sure that if I couldn’t find Jim’s body, Trey would have stashed his corpse somewhere in Kelly’s bedroom. So I looked there for a while too. Then I just started to get really upset. Tears started to fill my eyes and I realized that Jim was just gone. One day there, next day gone.
I lay on my bed with no TV or radio playing and I just thought about where he could be. THEN! I heard his little squeaking. I jumped up and ran over to my dresser. Underneath, I found little Jim cowering in the corner. He was shaking and making “peep” like sounds. I reached my hand in and he immediately walked into my palm. THANK GOD!
I noticed too that he had fashioned some sort of makeshift bed under there. How LONG was he out and running around? Who knows.
I cuddled him and loved him for hours before putting him back in his cage. I immediately removed the faulty tube and secured the rest of his cage. No more disappearing acts. I’m not going to lose ANOTHER hamster due to my irresponsibility.
Now, aside from that, I received a phone call this morning from my friend Mariah. She was EXTREMELY upset and crying. I told her to calm down and to tell me the whole story. Detail by detail. She explained that her girlfriend of 7 months has been cheating on her with like everyone in the city. Not only has she been fucking her ex-boyfriend, but just last week she engaged in a threesome with a friend of hers and a random dude. Um. AIDS anyone?
Now, the reason why this is SO fucked up is because Mariah was at the hospital a week ago with some unknown virus. They quarantined both she and her girlfriend and asked them numerous questions about their sexual activity; to gather as much information as possible. Even as that situation became increasingly more intense, Mariah’s girlfriend lied straight to the doctor’s and said that she hadn’t been with anyone other than Mariah. Fucking liar. And also, fucking WHAT? Mariah was SO ill!
In any case, there is a hunt out for the head of Mariah’s EX-girlfriend. It should be easy to track her down, considering that she has fucked everyone in the state of NY. I can’t believe this shit. Poor Mariah. And to top it all off, it’s her birthday today.
Lastly, my boss told us this morning, via email, that he will be leaving our office tomorrow and never returning. There is a whole lot of shit going on at my job and this kind of move was expected, but not prepared for at all. There was chaos with everyone running around trying to figure out what to do if he actually does leave.
Turns out, he misspoke in his email and he’s not leaving after all.
AH GEEZ!
So much for no surprises, huh?
With this kind of shit swirling around my head, I am SO glad to grab my friend Angie and to head upstate to spend time with my Rita at her wedding shower.
Calgon?
Yeah that’s right. Bitch, take me away.
So yesterday when I left work, I was remarking on how things seemed to be going very smoothly in my life. I mean, chaotic as fuck, but no real surprises. Since everything has been so nuts over the last month or so, I was happy to have a couple weeks without wondering how my apartment burned down or why the cat was speaking English. You know…no real surprises.
Well, then I got home from work yesterday.
I walked into my brand new, beautiful apartment, to find that my little guy “Jimbo” wasn’t in his cage. I tore his home apart looking for him and then noticed that one of the tubes that connect to his cage had become dislodged and fallen to the floor. Jim had escaped.
My heart stopped in my chest and I kept thinking “Why? WHY is this happening?” Jim is the hamster love of my life. He is so smart and kind and gentle. He is also very generous with local charities. He’s the total package really. Upon noticing that he escaped, I prepared myself for the worst. I hadn’t been home in a couple of days, so I was positive that he was dead. It was only a matter of finding the body.
I lifted up my bed, tore apart my closet, and had a long talk with our cat, Trey. I was sure that if I couldn’t find Jim’s body, Trey would have stashed his corpse somewhere in Kelly’s bedroom. So I looked there for a while too. Then I just started to get really upset. Tears started to fill my eyes and I realized that Jim was just gone. One day there, next day gone.
I lay on my bed with no TV or radio playing and I just thought about where he could be. THEN! I heard his little squeaking. I jumped up and ran over to my dresser. Underneath, I found little Jim cowering in the corner. He was shaking and making “peep” like sounds. I reached my hand in and he immediately walked into my palm. THANK GOD!
I noticed too that he had fashioned some sort of makeshift bed under there. How LONG was he out and running around? Who knows.
I cuddled him and loved him for hours before putting him back in his cage. I immediately removed the faulty tube and secured the rest of his cage. No more disappearing acts. I’m not going to lose ANOTHER hamster due to my irresponsibility.
Now, aside from that, I received a phone call this morning from my friend Mariah. She was EXTREMELY upset and crying. I told her to calm down and to tell me the whole story. Detail by detail. She explained that her girlfriend of 7 months has been cheating on her with like everyone in the city. Not only has she been fucking her ex-boyfriend, but just last week she engaged in a threesome with a friend of hers and a random dude. Um. AIDS anyone?
Now, the reason why this is SO fucked up is because Mariah was at the hospital a week ago with some unknown virus. They quarantined both she and her girlfriend and asked them numerous questions about their sexual activity; to gather as much information as possible. Even as that situation became increasingly more intense, Mariah’s girlfriend lied straight to the doctor’s and said that she hadn’t been with anyone other than Mariah. Fucking liar. And also, fucking WHAT? Mariah was SO ill!
In any case, there is a hunt out for the head of Mariah’s EX-girlfriend. It should be easy to track her down, considering that she has fucked everyone in the state of NY. I can’t believe this shit. Poor Mariah. And to top it all off, it’s her birthday today.
Lastly, my boss told us this morning, via email, that he will be leaving our office tomorrow and never returning. There is a whole lot of shit going on at my job and this kind of move was expected, but not prepared for at all. There was chaos with everyone running around trying to figure out what to do if he actually does leave.
Turns out, he misspoke in his email and he’s not leaving after all.
AH GEEZ!
So much for no surprises, huh?
With this kind of shit swirling around my head, I am SO glad to grab my friend Angie and to head upstate to spend time with my Rita at her wedding shower.
Calgon?
Yeah that’s right. Bitch, take me away.
Monday, March 08, 2004
What do you get when you cross an archer with a gift-wrapper?
Well, Ribbon Hood of course!
Wasn’t I surprised when I woke up this morning to find it snowing outside my bedroom window. Um…I thought it was March and that the temperature in NYC on Saturday was 63 degrees. But ok.
My parents made their annual “We must decorate Joe’s apartment with brand new furniture” trip this weekend. They brought me a new TV stand, a beautiful bookcase, lots of groceries, and many other little trinkets that I needed. My bedroom is now fully furnished and gorgeous. They are so generous with their time and their money. I am very lucky to be a 26 year old kid that still needs his parents to fix up his new pad.
I finally feel like the stress of moving is over. Do you know how GOOD that feels? Man, to have two weeks of your life in complete upheaval…it makes it SO worth it when all is said and done. I just love my new place. So cute and pretty. Just like me. Cute and pretty.
This weekend is the wedding shower for my Siamese twin Rita. I couldn’t be more excited. I am taking my friend Angie up for the visit and I expect to see all of my oldest and greatest friends. It’s going to be a busy and crazy weekend, but it is SURE to be filled with love and fun. And hopefully with some major card playing. I am SO overdue for that. Also, the actual shower is happening in some sort of hall. Like a room that you rent for big parties. I just LOVE parties that take place in buildings like this. I’m so used to going to my friend’s apartments for parties that being able to go to an outside place is super exciting.
I saw some enjoyable movies this weekend. One was The Sweetest Thing with Cameron Diaz. I’m not huge on romantic comedies, but this was one was a bit shocking at times and didn’t totally bore me to death. And I have to admit that I just love that Christina Applegate. She’s supa good at everything she does. Especially when the babysitter was dead. The only thing that I couldn’t figure out was how skinny, tiny Justin gets his little penis inside Amazon Woman Cameron. It took me the whole movie to imagine all their different positions and I still couldn’t get a clear picture. Maybe it’s because his dick needs to be in my butt. Huh. Now THAT makes more sense.
I also saw the movie Thirteen. I just love that Holly Hunter. She is supa sexy and talented. The teen girls were pretty good too. Overall I thought that the movie was made out to be more shocking that it really was. I mean, did anyone see Kids or Bully? Now THOSE are some shocking teen movies. But overall, the story was decent and the acting was pretty good. And I would definitely watch the first scene of the movie over and over. I mean. “HIT ME AGAIN. HARDER! Booooooooowaaaaaaaaaahahahahahaha!” Yeah, that was fucked up.
So one funny thing that happened this weekend…
My friend Angie rolled a huge blunt and brought it over to my place on Saturday night. My mom’s eyes grew hugely wide and then she lit it up and smoked it. Seeing her sitting on my bed with her ghetto lips wrapped around a blunt made me pee all over my new rug. It was a sight that I will never forget. Oh mom…you’re so HARD. Core that is.
For some reason I miss my Paulie today. He and I hung out last night, so it’s not like I haven’t seen him in a while. But last night he made me laugh so hard and for so long that as soon as I woke up this morning, I wanted nothing more than to spend the day with him. I am literally counting the hours until I get to his place tonight. It’s weird that after four years I can still have the same kind of addiction to him as I had when we first got together. Most times I don’t feel it as strongly as I do today. But when I do…it makes me feel all warm inside.
Well, lunch time is around the corner, which means that naptime is around the corner which means that I can get off my lazy ass and do something productive. Sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.
Till tomorrow!
Well, Ribbon Hood of course!
Wasn’t I surprised when I woke up this morning to find it snowing outside my bedroom window. Um…I thought it was March and that the temperature in NYC on Saturday was 63 degrees. But ok.
My parents made their annual “We must decorate Joe’s apartment with brand new furniture” trip this weekend. They brought me a new TV stand, a beautiful bookcase, lots of groceries, and many other little trinkets that I needed. My bedroom is now fully furnished and gorgeous. They are so generous with their time and their money. I am very lucky to be a 26 year old kid that still needs his parents to fix up his new pad.
I finally feel like the stress of moving is over. Do you know how GOOD that feels? Man, to have two weeks of your life in complete upheaval…it makes it SO worth it when all is said and done. I just love my new place. So cute and pretty. Just like me. Cute and pretty.
This weekend is the wedding shower for my Siamese twin Rita. I couldn’t be more excited. I am taking my friend Angie up for the visit and I expect to see all of my oldest and greatest friends. It’s going to be a busy and crazy weekend, but it is SURE to be filled with love and fun. And hopefully with some major card playing. I am SO overdue for that. Also, the actual shower is happening in some sort of hall. Like a room that you rent for big parties. I just LOVE parties that take place in buildings like this. I’m so used to going to my friend’s apartments for parties that being able to go to an outside place is super exciting.
I saw some enjoyable movies this weekend. One was The Sweetest Thing with Cameron Diaz. I’m not huge on romantic comedies, but this was one was a bit shocking at times and didn’t totally bore me to death. And I have to admit that I just love that Christina Applegate. She’s supa good at everything she does. Especially when the babysitter was dead. The only thing that I couldn’t figure out was how skinny, tiny Justin gets his little penis inside Amazon Woman Cameron. It took me the whole movie to imagine all their different positions and I still couldn’t get a clear picture. Maybe it’s because his dick needs to be in my butt. Huh. Now THAT makes more sense.
I also saw the movie Thirteen. I just love that Holly Hunter. She is supa sexy and talented. The teen girls were pretty good too. Overall I thought that the movie was made out to be more shocking that it really was. I mean, did anyone see Kids or Bully? Now THOSE are some shocking teen movies. But overall, the story was decent and the acting was pretty good. And I would definitely watch the first scene of the movie over and over. I mean. “HIT ME AGAIN. HARDER! Booooooooowaaaaaaaaaahahahahahaha!” Yeah, that was fucked up.
So one funny thing that happened this weekend…
My friend Angie rolled a huge blunt and brought it over to my place on Saturday night. My mom’s eyes grew hugely wide and then she lit it up and smoked it. Seeing her sitting on my bed with her ghetto lips wrapped around a blunt made me pee all over my new rug. It was a sight that I will never forget. Oh mom…you’re so HARD. Core that is.
For some reason I miss my Paulie today. He and I hung out last night, so it’s not like I haven’t seen him in a while. But last night he made me laugh so hard and for so long that as soon as I woke up this morning, I wanted nothing more than to spend the day with him. I am literally counting the hours until I get to his place tonight. It’s weird that after four years I can still have the same kind of addiction to him as I had when we first got together. Most times I don’t feel it as strongly as I do today. But when I do…it makes me feel all warm inside.
Well, lunch time is around the corner, which means that naptime is around the corner which means that I can get off my lazy ass and do something productive. Sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.
Till tomorrow!
Thursday, March 04, 2004
Being Lucky
Well hello!
The chaos is slowly coming to a halt. I can breathe again without my chest hurting. My stomach doesn’t feel as though it’s twisted up in a hundred knots. And my muscles are finally starting to unkink themselves from carrying box after box after box down four flights of stairs. The move was a pain in my ass, but it went smoothly and it is OVER. Who could ask for anything more?
The new pad is looking mighty spiff! We are in the midst of organizing and decorating and personally, I am loving every second of it. My parents are coming to visit on Saturday and they are bringing a shit load of new furniture for me. They even agreed to pay for it all as a housewarming gift. They are so generous and wonderful to me all the time. I am so lucky to be their son. If it weren’t for them, I would be sleeping on shit covered rags in my brand new apartment.
Last night I chilled with Ari for a bit after work. When I had to go home, guess what? I walked! She and I are now neighbors and I can walk home from her apartment! WEIRD. I haven’t had a neighbor friend since I moved into this city, so it’s pretty exciting to have one that is such a good friend of mine.
My most favorite part about the new apartment? My bedroom. It’s very big and spacious and I could roll around naked on the floor all day. If it weren’t for my squealing hamsters, I would probably get a good nights sleep as well. Gonna have to let those little bastards go in the subway I think. (Just so we are clear, I am not talking about Jim or Poopsie – they are my loves) Last night I woke up to find Poopsie brutally murdering one of the other bastard hamsters that lives in his cage. I scolded Pooper and told him to leave the other hammies alone. He looked at me with the cutest eyes I have ever seen. How could I resist? I told him to beat the fuck out of whoever he wants and I will dispose of the body.
He owns me.
My least favorite part about the new apartment? The fridge. It’s like mini size. I mean, it’s a full fridge with a freezer and stuff, but its tiny size. I tower over it by a good foot. I didn’t even know that they made fridges so baby sized. Guess I’m going to have to walk on my hands and knees all day to get used to it. Not that I’m not on my knees all day to begin with. I mean please! I blow everything I see. But I never swallow. Hork.
Th e sexiest part about the new apartment? Well, me. How could you be so ignorant as to even ask?
The smelliest part about the new apartment? The litter box for the cat that lives with us. But of course!
There are a ton of great looking restaurants in our area and I canna wait to try them all! On our first day in the new pad, Ari ordered a pizza and soda and had it delivered to our place. I mean, how AMAZING is she? I ate every slice thinking how lucky I am to have a friend like her. We also found another pizza place that serves super thin slices. It’s like eating pizza on a cracker except that it tastes like pizza and not crackers. You understand. And you love it.
So here we go!
A new apartment, a new lease on life, a new chance at starting over.
Bring it on baby. Bring. It. On.
(it’s already been BROUGHTEN!)
Well hello!
The chaos is slowly coming to a halt. I can breathe again without my chest hurting. My stomach doesn’t feel as though it’s twisted up in a hundred knots. And my muscles are finally starting to unkink themselves from carrying box after box after box down four flights of stairs. The move was a pain in my ass, but it went smoothly and it is OVER. Who could ask for anything more?
The new pad is looking mighty spiff! We are in the midst of organizing and decorating and personally, I am loving every second of it. My parents are coming to visit on Saturday and they are bringing a shit load of new furniture for me. They even agreed to pay for it all as a housewarming gift. They are so generous and wonderful to me all the time. I am so lucky to be their son. If it weren’t for them, I would be sleeping on shit covered rags in my brand new apartment.
Last night I chilled with Ari for a bit after work. When I had to go home, guess what? I walked! She and I are now neighbors and I can walk home from her apartment! WEIRD. I haven’t had a neighbor friend since I moved into this city, so it’s pretty exciting to have one that is such a good friend of mine.
My most favorite part about the new apartment? My bedroom. It’s very big and spacious and I could roll around naked on the floor all day. If it weren’t for my squealing hamsters, I would probably get a good nights sleep as well. Gonna have to let those little bastards go in the subway I think. (Just so we are clear, I am not talking about Jim or Poopsie – they are my loves) Last night I woke up to find Poopsie brutally murdering one of the other bastard hamsters that lives in his cage. I scolded Pooper and told him to leave the other hammies alone. He looked at me with the cutest eyes I have ever seen. How could I resist? I told him to beat the fuck out of whoever he wants and I will dispose of the body.
He owns me.
My least favorite part about the new apartment? The fridge. It’s like mini size. I mean, it’s a full fridge with a freezer and stuff, but its tiny size. I tower over it by a good foot. I didn’t even know that they made fridges so baby sized. Guess I’m going to have to walk on my hands and knees all day to get used to it. Not that I’m not on my knees all day to begin with. I mean please! I blow everything I see. But I never swallow. Hork.
Th e sexiest part about the new apartment? Well, me. How could you be so ignorant as to even ask?
The smelliest part about the new apartment? The litter box for the cat that lives with us. But of course!
There are a ton of great looking restaurants in our area and I canna wait to try them all! On our first day in the new pad, Ari ordered a pizza and soda and had it delivered to our place. I mean, how AMAZING is she? I ate every slice thinking how lucky I am to have a friend like her. We also found another pizza place that serves super thin slices. It’s like eating pizza on a cracker except that it tastes like pizza and not crackers. You understand. And you love it.
So here we go!
A new apartment, a new lease on life, a new chance at starting over.
Bring it on baby. Bring. It. On.
(it’s already been BROUGHTEN!)
