Monday, July 26, 2004
16 Months Have Led To This Moment
I'm leaving right now to pick my brother up at the airport. I'm excited, nervous, anxious, and overall...ready. The next two weeks will be crazy and fun and it will be the first time in a year and a half that my family has been all together.
I feel so blessed. Winfield survived his experience in Iraq. Now it's time for him to come home so we can take care of him, rather than him taking care of us.
I'll stop in while I'm away and give an update.
But for now...Ardios!
I gotta go to JFK!
I'm leaving right now to pick my brother up at the airport. I'm excited, nervous, anxious, and overall...ready. The next two weeks will be crazy and fun and it will be the first time in a year and a half that my family has been all together.
I feel so blessed. Winfield survived his experience in Iraq. Now it's time for him to come home so we can take care of him, rather than him taking care of us.
I'll stop in while I'm away and give an update.
But for now...Ardios!
I gotta go to JFK!
Friday, July 23, 2004
I Now Own a Cell Phone
For the last three years, I have been cell phone free. I had one at one point as Paul gave it to me as a gift during our first Christmas together. I ended up going way over my alloted minute usage and he ulitmately had to pay about a thousand dollars in fees. Ooooooooops. It was after he paid that bill that the cell phone was taken away from me. Since then, I haven’t gotten a new one.
WELL. For my birthday Kelly offered to get me a new cellie. Last night we went to the local wireless provider and I picked out a new phone! It has a camera and text messaging and Instant Messenger and it even plays the radio when I plug in my headset. UM! What is it? The coolest phone ever?
When I woke up this morning I thought “Fuck. Another day.” And then I remembered! “Another day, cept with a cell phone!” I jumped out of bed, french kissed it, and got in the shower. I am very pleased. And I’m finally and adult!
This weekend begins my life of chaos. Tomorrow is the wedding, Sunday my uncles come, Monday afternoon my brother flies in from Germany. It’s hard to explain how I feel about all of this. Obviously I’m overwhelmed with excitement. The idea of going home and having my brother there with me is surreal. I’ve been visiting home just about once a month for the last year and a half and it’s never been the same without Winfield there.
On the flip side, I’m pretty nervous to confront all of the emotions that have been buried since he left for the war. In order for me to survive the last year and a half, I have had to find a way to block my constant worry and upset. Now that he is safe and coming home, I’ve started to realize how deep down I’ve put all of this stuff. It’s like I’m just starting to deal with him being gone now.
Like I said, it’s hard to explain.
Overall, I’m so happy and relieved that this moment has finally arrived. I can’t believe that in 3 days, I’ll be looking across the kitchen table at my brother. He will be eating his spaghetti and I will be thinking how much I love him and have missed him. For at least two weeks, my brother will be safe and sound. God has been so good to us and I do believe that since we have been so patient throughout this process, we have finally earned the reward of being a family again.
Only 3 more days…
For the last three years, I have been cell phone free. I had one at one point as Paul gave it to me as a gift during our first Christmas together. I ended up going way over my alloted minute usage and he ulitmately had to pay about a thousand dollars in fees. Ooooooooops. It was after he paid that bill that the cell phone was taken away from me. Since then, I haven’t gotten a new one.
WELL. For my birthday Kelly offered to get me a new cellie. Last night we went to the local wireless provider and I picked out a new phone! It has a camera and text messaging and Instant Messenger and it even plays the radio when I plug in my headset. UM! What is it? The coolest phone ever?
When I woke up this morning I thought “Fuck. Another day.” And then I remembered! “Another day, cept with a cell phone!” I jumped out of bed, french kissed it, and got in the shower. I am very pleased. And I’m finally and adult!
This weekend begins my life of chaos. Tomorrow is the wedding, Sunday my uncles come, Monday afternoon my brother flies in from Germany. It’s hard to explain how I feel about all of this. Obviously I’m overwhelmed with excitement. The idea of going home and having my brother there with me is surreal. I’ve been visiting home just about once a month for the last year and a half and it’s never been the same without Winfield there.
On the flip side, I’m pretty nervous to confront all of the emotions that have been buried since he left for the war. In order for me to survive the last year and a half, I have had to find a way to block my constant worry and upset. Now that he is safe and coming home, I’ve started to realize how deep down I’ve put all of this stuff. It’s like I’m just starting to deal with him being gone now.
Like I said, it’s hard to explain.
Overall, I’m so happy and relieved that this moment has finally arrived. I can’t believe that in 3 days, I’ll be looking across the kitchen table at my brother. He will be eating his spaghetti and I will be thinking how much I love him and have missed him. For at least two weeks, my brother will be safe and sound. God has been so good to us and I do believe that since we have been so patient throughout this process, we have finally earned the reward of being a family again.
Only 3 more days…
Thursday, July 22, 2004
The Read Thru of Our New Play
Last night at 7pm, we held the first read thru of our new play! 10 people showed up to be a part of the experience, including a playwright that we hadn’t invited. We did our best at making the whole experience as professional, yet informal as we could. We distributed folders with a copy of the script, a ledger pad to take notes, and free pens for all! We also provided wine and beer to get everyone in the mood.
We were all very nervous to show our work to these hand-selected folks. After two months of working very hard on our play, I think each of us was afraid that the play wouldn’t be as mind-blowing as we had hoped. Overall, it went very well, but there were definite moments that made my face flush with embarrassment and frustration.
First off, the girl who read the stage directions (which happens to be a HUGE part in our play) sucked ass. Ali barreled through the directions just to get them out of the way. Although everyone had a copy of the script in front of them, her lackluster performance caused everyone to tune out when she spoke. Because of that, I feel like they all missed out on some key character development moments. Ali used to work with us in the past, but since she quit the company, I have become so unimpressed with her level of passion and commitment. After last night, I’m pretty sure I never want her to do anything for us or with us again.
In any case, the reading went well. I have such high respect for both Kelly and Meg (the other people who co-wrote the play with me). They were such troopers throughout the whole night and at the end, when they could tell that I was frustrated and a bit upset, they did everything in their power to turn my attitude around. They have made working with them a highly enjoyable experience.
But I’m getting ahead of myself.
At the end of the reading we held a talk-back session. We received some wonderful compliments as well as some very thought provoking questions. I was extremely pleased with the level of effort everyone put in towards understanding our play. But then, HE spoke, the playwright we hadn’t invited in the first place. This is the first thing that came out of his mouth: “I really love the concept of your play. However, I took 18 pages of notes that I would like to share with you.”
For about 20 straight minutes (during which I took a bathroom break), HE gave us criticism after criticism. Sure, some of what he said was definitely beneficial to us. But I think I lost all respect for him when he pulled out a piece of paper and said, “I’m going to teach you guys a very simple lesson on writing”. He proceeded to draw a stick figure. Next to it he drew a box. In between the box and the stick figure, he drew a lightning bolt symbol of sorts. “In every play you need to have a person, a goal, and a problem. Once you have that, everything else falls into place.”
WHAT?!? WHAT WHAT WHAT?!? I sat there as politely as I could, but who did this kid think he was talking to? I’m sorry, did I just pick up a pen yesterday? Did I spend two months working on a script, only to forget that I must have some sort of dilemma within the story? Is the play about 3 people who just sit and stare at each other for an hour? UGH. I was immediately pissed off and furious. WHO did this kid think he was?!?
With my face beat red from fury, I thanked him for his comments and we closed the meeting. Yes, we surely have more work to do on the script. As we learned last night, there are a few holes and a few things we can expound on. However, I can guarantee you that the protagonist, antagonist, and resolution were so blatantly obvious that all HE did was prove he wasn’t paying nearly enough attention.
Anyhiz…after the meeting, Kelly and Meg pulled me from the dredges of my disappointment. I do need to learn how to take constructive criticism better. I also need to lower my exceedingly high expectations of myself. I’ve been trained as an actor, not as a writer, so of course there is still a lot I need to learn. I just don’t need someone drawing stick figures to explain the mechanics of writing to me. suckmyballs.
Angie and I hopped into a cab after the meeting and spent the next hour discussing the show. She went through all of her notes with me and we worked out some of the residual issues that I was carrying with me. I eventually ended up drinking a bit too much, shoving my face with chicken nuggets and grilled cheese when Paul got home and collapsed into bed around 2am. I woke up this morning gasping for a glass of water. I guess a pack of cigarettes and a bottle of booze will do that to you.
So, we continue to write and rewrite and we move forward. I’m SO glad we did the read thru and I am muchly grateful to everyone for joining us on this special occasion. I think I’ll go home tonight, pull out my dolls, and try to teach myself how to be a better writer.
“If Barbie wants to marry Malibu Stacey, what issues will they have to overcome in order for that to happen? No, THINK Joe. You must have an issue for them to resolve. You can’t just have them make-out for two hours. THAT’S not a play!”
For good measure, suck my hairy balls playwright extraordinaire!
Last night at 7pm, we held the first read thru of our new play! 10 people showed up to be a part of the experience, including a playwright that we hadn’t invited. We did our best at making the whole experience as professional, yet informal as we could. We distributed folders with a copy of the script, a ledger pad to take notes, and free pens for all! We also provided wine and beer to get everyone in the mood.
We were all very nervous to show our work to these hand-selected folks. After two months of working very hard on our play, I think each of us was afraid that the play wouldn’t be as mind-blowing as we had hoped. Overall, it went very well, but there were definite moments that made my face flush with embarrassment and frustration.
First off, the girl who read the stage directions (which happens to be a HUGE part in our play) sucked ass. Ali barreled through the directions just to get them out of the way. Although everyone had a copy of the script in front of them, her lackluster performance caused everyone to tune out when she spoke. Because of that, I feel like they all missed out on some key character development moments. Ali used to work with us in the past, but since she quit the company, I have become so unimpressed with her level of passion and commitment. After last night, I’m pretty sure I never want her to do anything for us or with us again.
In any case, the reading went well. I have such high respect for both Kelly and Meg (the other people who co-wrote the play with me). They were such troopers throughout the whole night and at the end, when they could tell that I was frustrated and a bit upset, they did everything in their power to turn my attitude around. They have made working with them a highly enjoyable experience.
But I’m getting ahead of myself.
At the end of the reading we held a talk-back session. We received some wonderful compliments as well as some very thought provoking questions. I was extremely pleased with the level of effort everyone put in towards understanding our play. But then, HE spoke, the playwright we hadn’t invited in the first place. This is the first thing that came out of his mouth: “I really love the concept of your play. However, I took 18 pages of notes that I would like to share with you.”
For about 20 straight minutes (during which I took a bathroom break), HE gave us criticism after criticism. Sure, some of what he said was definitely beneficial to us. But I think I lost all respect for him when he pulled out a piece of paper and said, “I’m going to teach you guys a very simple lesson on writing”. He proceeded to draw a stick figure. Next to it he drew a box. In between the box and the stick figure, he drew a lightning bolt symbol of sorts. “In every play you need to have a person, a goal, and a problem. Once you have that, everything else falls into place.”
WHAT?!? WHAT WHAT WHAT?!? I sat there as politely as I could, but who did this kid think he was talking to? I’m sorry, did I just pick up a pen yesterday? Did I spend two months working on a script, only to forget that I must have some sort of dilemma within the story? Is the play about 3 people who just sit and stare at each other for an hour? UGH. I was immediately pissed off and furious. WHO did this kid think he was?!?
With my face beat red from fury, I thanked him for his comments and we closed the meeting. Yes, we surely have more work to do on the script. As we learned last night, there are a few holes and a few things we can expound on. However, I can guarantee you that the protagonist, antagonist, and resolution were so blatantly obvious that all HE did was prove he wasn’t paying nearly enough attention.
Anyhiz…after the meeting, Kelly and Meg pulled me from the dredges of my disappointment. I do need to learn how to take constructive criticism better. I also need to lower my exceedingly high expectations of myself. I’ve been trained as an actor, not as a writer, so of course there is still a lot I need to learn. I just don’t need someone drawing stick figures to explain the mechanics of writing to me. suckmyballs.
Angie and I hopped into a cab after the meeting and spent the next hour discussing the show. She went through all of her notes with me and we worked out some of the residual issues that I was carrying with me. I eventually ended up drinking a bit too much, shoving my face with chicken nuggets and grilled cheese when Paul got home and collapsed into bed around 2am. I woke up this morning gasping for a glass of water. I guess a pack of cigarettes and a bottle of booze will do that to you.
So, we continue to write and rewrite and we move forward. I’m SO glad we did the read thru and I am muchly grateful to everyone for joining us on this special occasion. I think I’ll go home tonight, pull out my dolls, and try to teach myself how to be a better writer.
“If Barbie wants to marry Malibu Stacey, what issues will they have to overcome in order for that to happen? No, THINK Joe. You must have an issue for them to resolve. You can’t just have them make-out for two hours. THAT’S not a play!”
For good measure, suck my hairy balls playwright extraordinaire!
Wednesday, July 21, 2004
I’m Completely Overwhelmed
God, where do I start?
In the next five days, I have to do the following things (you tell me if this all seems a bit over the top):
Tonight is the first read thru of our Theatre Company’s original work. After 2 and ½ months of writing and rewriting, we are finally ready to go forward with a read thru. The three of us who have collaborated on this project are all very nervous. To be an artist, you must be comfortable with risk taking. Tonight’s read thru is a prime example of that. What if no one likes our show? What if they think it’s badly written? What if the feedback is mostly negative? I am very proud of the work we have done, but until an outsider reads it, we won’t know if it’s any good. Wish us luck please. This is a big night for the Company.
As I write this, two friends of mine are crashing in my apartment. I adore these friends and am so happy that I’m able to give them a room in Manhattan for a couple of days. However, with everything else I have going on, not being able to be in my bedroom, much less sleeping there, is stressing me out. These friends are not imposing on me at all. The timing is just unideal.
On Saturday morning, I must get up at the crack of dawn and take a train to Long Island. I have yet ANOTHER wedding to go to this weekend. Luckily I’m not in the wedding this time around, so I won’t have to take three of hours of “wedding party” pictures. Since the ceremony is at 11am, I can guarantee you that I will be COMPLETELY plastered by 1pm. It’s the only way I will survive, I think. That night, I will crash in a hotel, only to get up bright and early the next day to come back to the city.
On Sunday, my wonderful gay uncles from California arrive in the city. I have plans to go shopping with them or out to a bar, maybe just walking around SoHo. In any case, that night, Paul and I will take them to dinner and out for yet more drinks. It will be a very fun time for all of us, if I can keep my eyes open during the experience.
Monday, I work until 1pm and then head over to JFK airport to pick up my brother! He flies in around 3pm and will be greeted by both my parents and myself. We will surely make signs announcing his arrival and be screaming at the top of our lungs as he steps off the plane. Since we haven’t seen him in 16 months, the visit is SURE to be intensive with laughter and tears pouring out of our bodies at every possible moment. For two weeks I will be making the rounds with my brother; seeing friends and family that have missed him so much while he has been gone.
Although I will be out of work for a good week and ½, it won’t be as much of a “vacation” as I need. It’s not like I’ll be sleeping in late and lounging around. There are numerous parties and dinners that I need to go to, etc. I’m sure it will be more fun and laid back than I’m predicting, but at this point, I’m almost ready to throw my hands up in the air and say I can’t do any of it.
My nerves are shot. I feel emotionally unbalanced. I’m completely and utterly overwhelmed. How does one person juggle all of these events without having a nervous breakdown? If I don’t find a way to have some time to myself over the next two weeks, I’m sure to collapse into a very deep depression.
I don’t work the way most people do. I love to be busy, but I hate to lose control. With almost every event happening in the next few weeks, I have little to no control over any of it. That makes me nervous and uptight. I want to enjoy myself and I want to smile through the experience. However, in order to do that, I have to find a couple of hours here and there to either sleep, read a book, or stare at the wall.
I guess that’s it.
Keep me in your thoughts and prayers. I’m going to need the support.
God, where do I start?
In the next five days, I have to do the following things (you tell me if this all seems a bit over the top):
Tonight is the first read thru of our Theatre Company’s original work. After 2 and ½ months of writing and rewriting, we are finally ready to go forward with a read thru. The three of us who have collaborated on this project are all very nervous. To be an artist, you must be comfortable with risk taking. Tonight’s read thru is a prime example of that. What if no one likes our show? What if they think it’s badly written? What if the feedback is mostly negative? I am very proud of the work we have done, but until an outsider reads it, we won’t know if it’s any good. Wish us luck please. This is a big night for the Company.
As I write this, two friends of mine are crashing in my apartment. I adore these friends and am so happy that I’m able to give them a room in Manhattan for a couple of days. However, with everything else I have going on, not being able to be in my bedroom, much less sleeping there, is stressing me out. These friends are not imposing on me at all. The timing is just unideal.
On Saturday morning, I must get up at the crack of dawn and take a train to Long Island. I have yet ANOTHER wedding to go to this weekend. Luckily I’m not in the wedding this time around, so I won’t have to take three of hours of “wedding party” pictures. Since the ceremony is at 11am, I can guarantee you that I will be COMPLETELY plastered by 1pm. It’s the only way I will survive, I think. That night, I will crash in a hotel, only to get up bright and early the next day to come back to the city.
On Sunday, my wonderful gay uncles from California arrive in the city. I have plans to go shopping with them or out to a bar, maybe just walking around SoHo. In any case, that night, Paul and I will take them to dinner and out for yet more drinks. It will be a very fun time for all of us, if I can keep my eyes open during the experience.
Monday, I work until 1pm and then head over to JFK airport to pick up my brother! He flies in around 3pm and will be greeted by both my parents and myself. We will surely make signs announcing his arrival and be screaming at the top of our lungs as he steps off the plane. Since we haven’t seen him in 16 months, the visit is SURE to be intensive with laughter and tears pouring out of our bodies at every possible moment. For two weeks I will be making the rounds with my brother; seeing friends and family that have missed him so much while he has been gone.
Although I will be out of work for a good week and ½, it won’t be as much of a “vacation” as I need. It’s not like I’ll be sleeping in late and lounging around. There are numerous parties and dinners that I need to go to, etc. I’m sure it will be more fun and laid back than I’m predicting, but at this point, I’m almost ready to throw my hands up in the air and say I can’t do any of it.
My nerves are shot. I feel emotionally unbalanced. I’m completely and utterly overwhelmed. How does one person juggle all of these events without having a nervous breakdown? If I don’t find a way to have some time to myself over the next two weeks, I’m sure to collapse into a very deep depression.
I don’t work the way most people do. I love to be busy, but I hate to lose control. With almost every event happening in the next few weeks, I have little to no control over any of it. That makes me nervous and uptight. I want to enjoy myself and I want to smile through the experience. However, in order to do that, I have to find a couple of hours here and there to either sleep, read a book, or stare at the wall.
I guess that’s it.
Keep me in your thoughts and prayers. I’m going to need the support.
Tuesday, July 20, 2004
Good Ole Joe
Will be back tomorrow with a new and fresh post! This week has been nuts, so he's asked me, his secretary of shit, to leave this note.
He misses you all and will be back asap.
Will be back tomorrow with a new and fresh post! This week has been nuts, so he's asked me, his secretary of shit, to leave this note.
He misses you all and will be back asap.
Friday, July 16, 2004
It’s FINALLY the weekizzle!
I can’t possibly explain to you how badly I need this weekend.
I have had “something to do” every weekend since June 5th. From birthdays to weddings to gay pride to family visits, I have not had a Saturday or Sunday to myself since before the summer started. I could just about collapse with exhaustion. Tonight I will go out with my friend Angie, after which I will crawl into my bed and not move until Monday morning at 7am when I will get up and come back to work. It’s like a fantasy. Could I really sleep for two whole days if I want to? Why yes I can!
Last night Angie came over. We had plans to go to dinner, but ended up getting trashed in my bedroom. Of course I had to play the new “Guster” cd for her over and over and over. At one point she said “Joe, enough’s clearly enough. Put Guster away and come over here and fuck me.” I obliged and she gave birth to the most beautiful baby girl this morning. I put a pink bow in the little hair she has and came to work elated. I’m the proud owner of a tiny baby girl! Her name is Cherie. Just like Punky Brewster’s black friend who got trapped in the refrigerator during that deadly game of Hide ‘n’ go seek.
So there is this guy that takes the same bus route home that I do. I first laid eyes on him before I left to go to the wedding last weekend. He is about 6ft, thin, short blond hair styled sensibly but hotly, and deep blue eyes. He was wearing these professional looking glasses and a beautiful suit. Last week, he stared at me throughout the entire ride. I noticed that the bag he was carrying said “Miller Thomson”. I immediately went home and looked the name of the company up on the internet, but I wasn’t able to find any information about him. Sadly, I turned my computer off and thought I had lost him forever.
Yesterday, I was riding the bus home, as always, and I started to think about him again. What would I do if I saw him? Would I say hi or introduce myself? He didn’t SEEM gay, but with the looks he was giving me, how he could not be? As I was mulling this all over, he steps on to the bus, walks to the back and sits next to me. My heart began beating out of my chest and my palms started to sweat. It must be a sign!
I casually looked in his direction and he did the same. Our knees bumped into each other and lingered longer than they would have had he been a straight guy. My right arm and his left arm grazed one another and I thought that I was going into a sexually charged panic attack. We both get off at the same stop, so when it was time, we got up and stood next to each other waiting to be released from the bus’s clutches. The door opened, we both stepped off, looked in each other’s eyes one more time and went our opposite ways.
I exhaled a huge sigh and started to think about why I was so intrigued by this guy. I never go for skinny guys…they have to be muscled monsters. But in this case, I find his “look” to be so hot. Very professional and dignified and incredibly good looking. He walks like a man and he carries himself with pride. I gave him a part of my heart and he has yet to turn it into the overwhelming love that I know it could be for the both of us.
Why is it so easy to fall in “love” with somebody on the bus or train? If it’s someone that makes that powerful of an impression, why do you spend the next couple of days thinking about them and wondering what could be? (sigh) I don’t know. It’s not like any of this is realistic, yet sometimes it consumes me. Eh, maybe I’m just bored on my bus rides and that’s why I need to create these mini-melodramas. Either way, I just love a distinguished gentleman in a suit.
I guess that’s it for today. I’m excited to go home and play with my new baby. I’ll make sure to give her a kiss from all of you.
Have fun this weekend!
I can’t possibly explain to you how badly I need this weekend.
I have had “something to do” every weekend since June 5th. From birthdays to weddings to gay pride to family visits, I have not had a Saturday or Sunday to myself since before the summer started. I could just about collapse with exhaustion. Tonight I will go out with my friend Angie, after which I will crawl into my bed and not move until Monday morning at 7am when I will get up and come back to work. It’s like a fantasy. Could I really sleep for two whole days if I want to? Why yes I can!
Last night Angie came over. We had plans to go to dinner, but ended up getting trashed in my bedroom. Of course I had to play the new “Guster” cd for her over and over and over. At one point she said “Joe, enough’s clearly enough. Put Guster away and come over here and fuck me.” I obliged and she gave birth to the most beautiful baby girl this morning. I put a pink bow in the little hair she has and came to work elated. I’m the proud owner of a tiny baby girl! Her name is Cherie. Just like Punky Brewster’s black friend who got trapped in the refrigerator during that deadly game of Hide ‘n’ go seek.
So there is this guy that takes the same bus route home that I do. I first laid eyes on him before I left to go to the wedding last weekend. He is about 6ft, thin, short blond hair styled sensibly but hotly, and deep blue eyes. He was wearing these professional looking glasses and a beautiful suit. Last week, he stared at me throughout the entire ride. I noticed that the bag he was carrying said “Miller Thomson”. I immediately went home and looked the name of the company up on the internet, but I wasn’t able to find any information about him. Sadly, I turned my computer off and thought I had lost him forever.
Yesterday, I was riding the bus home, as always, and I started to think about him again. What would I do if I saw him? Would I say hi or introduce myself? He didn’t SEEM gay, but with the looks he was giving me, how he could not be? As I was mulling this all over, he steps on to the bus, walks to the back and sits next to me. My heart began beating out of my chest and my palms started to sweat. It must be a sign!
I casually looked in his direction and he did the same. Our knees bumped into each other and lingered longer than they would have had he been a straight guy. My right arm and his left arm grazed one another and I thought that I was going into a sexually charged panic attack. We both get off at the same stop, so when it was time, we got up and stood next to each other waiting to be released from the bus’s clutches. The door opened, we both stepped off, looked in each other’s eyes one more time and went our opposite ways.
I exhaled a huge sigh and started to think about why I was so intrigued by this guy. I never go for skinny guys…they have to be muscled monsters. But in this case, I find his “look” to be so hot. Very professional and dignified and incredibly good looking. He walks like a man and he carries himself with pride. I gave him a part of my heart and he has yet to turn it into the overwhelming love that I know it could be for the both of us.
Why is it so easy to fall in “love” with somebody on the bus or train? If it’s someone that makes that powerful of an impression, why do you spend the next couple of days thinking about them and wondering what could be? (sigh) I don’t know. It’s not like any of this is realistic, yet sometimes it consumes me. Eh, maybe I’m just bored on my bus rides and that’s why I need to create these mini-melodramas. Either way, I just love a distinguished gentleman in a suit.
I guess that’s it for today. I’m excited to go home and play with my new baby. I’ll make sure to give her a kiss from all of you.
Have fun this weekend!
Thursday, July 15, 2004
I Just Love These Things Six
There are some things in my life that I adore beyond belief. Here is a small sampling of these things. These things Six. Like Six from Blossom. Or like 666 cuz of the debil. Or like-Fuck you then.
1) I adore Miss Rita Rudner. When I am up way too late or if it’s a Friday and I’ve just gotten in from the bars, the first thing I do is turn on “Ask Rita”. I find this woman to not only be hilarious, but she is everything that I would want to be as an adult female. She is professional and classy and I love the way she talks. She began her career as a dancer. She had been in numerous Broadway productions before she married her husband and began writing and producing films. Her talk show is wonderful. If you find yourself awake at 2am sometime, tune in and check her out. She’s fabuloso! And she also reminds me of my friend Rita. Now you get the WHOLE picture.
2) It ain’t macaroni and cheese if it’s done with anything but Velveeta. YUMSICLE! I make THE best macaroni and chizzle. It’s creamy, thick goodness and it has less fat than cheddar cheese! Have you read the box? Velveeta tells no lies. Cook up a pound of pasta, melt in a box of the Velve and you got yourself one extra special good dinner. It sticks to your ribs with satisfaction! I also eat a lot of tacos. Tacos are good.
3) Back in the day I used to love a band called “Guster”. Over time, I forgot about them, much to my embarracksment. This past weekend, Rita gave me the new Guster cd, Keeping it Together, as a birthday present. It is so super great. I can’t stop from playing it over and over and well…over. So far songs #2 and #9 are my flava flave. You will love. And if you don’t, then obviously you love pestilence. You eat it and you love it.
4) I’m sorry, but The Simple Life 2 is even funnier and more enjoyable than the first. Paul and I have become addicts, which is nice since we don’t usually share the same taste in television. Anything that comes out of Paris and Nicole’s mouths makes me die laughing. Then, if they are bored, they don’t give a fuck, and they’ll ruin your life for jokes. Did you happen to see last night’s episode when they were trying to find the two boys some girlfriends? Every girl bailed on these two guys and out of nowhere, Paris enters and sits a gay guy down at the table. The two boys looked horrified and had no idea what to say. I shit with laughter and then I beat my dick off furiously. What? I was pissed at my dick.
5) Paul and I have started to download a shitload of musicload on his computerload. Each song is 99cents and since Paul has a million 99cents, I can have whatever music I want! I have been souping up his PC with so much good shit. I found a Rufus Wainwright cover of “Across the Universe” that makes me so so happy. I’m about to create the most amazing mix cd. And then, only then, will I have completed my life goal of burning a cd. I have a cd burner that I got for a Christmas present, but I have yet to figure out how to use it. Now I’ll just use Paul’s computer and let my burner sit quietly in the corner of my bedroom. It’s very pretty when it sits quietly.
6) I love TV. Here is my opinion on the most recent shows to debut.
The Amazing Race 3? The Amazing LOVE!
The Ashlee Simpson Show? The ashlee I fucking hope you die Show.
The Next Action Star? Eh. Not as good as I had hoped show.
Newlyweds? I’ve had ENUFF! All Simpsons should go away forevel and evel amen. Except for Homer, Marge, Bart, Maggie, and Lisa. They are the only characters that give clout to the Simpson name. And they’re cartoons!
The Ultimate Love Test? Oh Diego. OH Diego. I’m not kidding. I fell in love with you the SECOND I laid eyes on you. You are sweet and kind and that body! The show is complete fucking garbage, but I’ll stare at you until the day I kidnap you and make you my love slave. HOT DAYIM! hot fucking dayim.
For Love or Money? NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO! Why do I keep watching you?
Road Rules: Extreme Challenge? Why is it that Road Rules has gotten SO much better than The Real World? Answer: they do challenges which keep them very busy. You don’t have to watch a half an hour of them getting drunk and fucking each other every week. And they just booted the gay guy from the show. GOOD! I fucking hate homos.
Who Wants to Marry My Dad? Y A W N. I’m sorry, what was that again? Oh yeah, old ugly bitches trying to win the love of a toolbox. In all honesty, I feel as though zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
Blown Out? Jonathan Antin makes for GOOD television. Tune in and see what goes on when he opens a new salon and hires a bunch of primadonnas to run shop. Oh LORD it’s damn ridiculous. But also guilty pleasure supreme!
Bands on the Run? I didn’t even LIKE these bands when they were out (Kajagoogoowhat?), but watching them try to get together for once last concert is just about the most addicting show out there right now. VH1, with this and I Love the 90’s, you own me. MTV can SUCK it.
Reno 911? Damn you for being the funniest show on television. Holy shit you are hysterical. You’re giving my Simpsons a run for their money. Back off or I’ll have to break your legs Lt. Dangle.
Last Comic Standing? Sit down you unfunny assholes. I HATE unfunny assholes. I LOVE hairless ones though. PUKE!
JOJO’s “Get Out”? Guilty pleasure #104.
I guess that’s it for now. Just had to get my opinion out there. You understand. You always understand. You are thoughtful and kind and your cock is huge. Stick it in my mouth and let’s take care of business. But if you squirt in my mouth and you don’t warn me…I’m taking a bite out as a keepsake. That will teach you not to dump in my mouth.
Great Thursday all!
There are some things in my life that I adore beyond belief. Here is a small sampling of these things. These things Six. Like Six from Blossom. Or like 666 cuz of the debil. Or like-Fuck you then.
1) I adore Miss Rita Rudner. When I am up way too late or if it’s a Friday and I’ve just gotten in from the bars, the first thing I do is turn on “Ask Rita”. I find this woman to not only be hilarious, but she is everything that I would want to be as an adult female. She is professional and classy and I love the way she talks. She began her career as a dancer. She had been in numerous Broadway productions before she married her husband and began writing and producing films. Her talk show is wonderful. If you find yourself awake at 2am sometime, tune in and check her out. She’s fabuloso! And she also reminds me of my friend Rita. Now you get the WHOLE picture.
2) It ain’t macaroni and cheese if it’s done with anything but Velveeta. YUMSICLE! I make THE best macaroni and chizzle. It’s creamy, thick goodness and it has less fat than cheddar cheese! Have you read the box? Velveeta tells no lies. Cook up a pound of pasta, melt in a box of the Velve and you got yourself one extra special good dinner. It sticks to your ribs with satisfaction! I also eat a lot of tacos. Tacos are good.
3) Back in the day I used to love a band called “Guster”. Over time, I forgot about them, much to my embarracksment. This past weekend, Rita gave me the new Guster cd, Keeping it Together, as a birthday present. It is so super great. I can’t stop from playing it over and over and well…over. So far songs #2 and #9 are my flava flave. You will love. And if you don’t, then obviously you love pestilence. You eat it and you love it.
4) I’m sorry, but The Simple Life 2 is even funnier and more enjoyable than the first. Paul and I have become addicts, which is nice since we don’t usually share the same taste in television. Anything that comes out of Paris and Nicole’s mouths makes me die laughing. Then, if they are bored, they don’t give a fuck, and they’ll ruin your life for jokes. Did you happen to see last night’s episode when they were trying to find the two boys some girlfriends? Every girl bailed on these two guys and out of nowhere, Paris enters and sits a gay guy down at the table. The two boys looked horrified and had no idea what to say. I shit with laughter and then I beat my dick off furiously. What? I was pissed at my dick.
5) Paul and I have started to download a shitload of musicload on his computerload. Each song is 99cents and since Paul has a million 99cents, I can have whatever music I want! I have been souping up his PC with so much good shit. I found a Rufus Wainwright cover of “Across the Universe” that makes me so so happy. I’m about to create the most amazing mix cd. And then, only then, will I have completed my life goal of burning a cd. I have a cd burner that I got for a Christmas present, but I have yet to figure out how to use it. Now I’ll just use Paul’s computer and let my burner sit quietly in the corner of my bedroom. It’s very pretty when it sits quietly.
6) I love TV. Here is my opinion on the most recent shows to debut.
The Amazing Race 3? The Amazing LOVE!
The Ashlee Simpson Show? The ashlee I fucking hope you die Show.
The Next Action Star? Eh. Not as good as I had hoped show.
Newlyweds? I’ve had ENUFF! All Simpsons should go away forevel and evel amen. Except for Homer, Marge, Bart, Maggie, and Lisa. They are the only characters that give clout to the Simpson name. And they’re cartoons!
The Ultimate Love Test? Oh Diego. OH Diego. I’m not kidding. I fell in love with you the SECOND I laid eyes on you. You are sweet and kind and that body! The show is complete fucking garbage, but I’ll stare at you until the day I kidnap you and make you my love slave. HOT DAYIM! hot fucking dayim.
For Love or Money? NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO! Why do I keep watching you?
Road Rules: Extreme Challenge? Why is it that Road Rules has gotten SO much better than The Real World? Answer: they do challenges which keep them very busy. You don’t have to watch a half an hour of them getting drunk and fucking each other every week. And they just booted the gay guy from the show. GOOD! I fucking hate homos.
Who Wants to Marry My Dad? Y A W N. I’m sorry, what was that again? Oh yeah, old ugly bitches trying to win the love of a toolbox. In all honesty, I feel as though zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
Blown Out? Jonathan Antin makes for GOOD television. Tune in and see what goes on when he opens a new salon and hires a bunch of primadonnas to run shop. Oh LORD it’s damn ridiculous. But also guilty pleasure supreme!
Bands on the Run? I didn’t even LIKE these bands when they were out (Kajagoogoowhat?), but watching them try to get together for once last concert is just about the most addicting show out there right now. VH1, with this and I Love the 90’s, you own me. MTV can SUCK it.
Reno 911? Damn you for being the funniest show on television. Holy shit you are hysterical. You’re giving my Simpsons a run for their money. Back off or I’ll have to break your legs Lt. Dangle.
Last Comic Standing? Sit down you unfunny assholes. I HATE unfunny assholes. I LOVE hairless ones though. PUKE!
JOJO’s “Get Out”? Guilty pleasure #104.
I guess that’s it for now. Just had to get my opinion out there. You understand. You always understand. You are thoughtful and kind and your cock is huge. Stick it in my mouth and let’s take care of business. But if you squirt in my mouth and you don’t warn me…I’m taking a bite out as a keepsake. That will teach you not to dump in my mouth.
Great Thursday all!
Wednesday, July 14, 2004
Snore Me a River
I am honestly in a coma. It’s so figures that at 3am, staying up until 4am didn’t sound like such a bad idea. “All I have to do tomorrow is go to work and then go home and sleep! Let’s stay awake forever!” Stupid stupid stupid. As soon as I woke up this morning, I thought I had accidentally died and woke up in hell. My head pounded, my stomach churned, and I was NOT happy with the decisions I had made last night.
I had a wonderful dinner with my friend Hans. I had the salmon, she had the lollipop wings. I drank a bottle of wine myself, she had a gallon of water herself. We played some games, caught up on old times, and then I hugged her goodbye. Hans is moving out of NYC in two weeks, so this was our goodbye for awhile. Not really sure when I will see her again. But such is life…
After dinner I went home and surprised Mariah at her apartment. She is leaving today for the Cape and I wanted to be able to spend some quality time with her before the trip. Spend quality time we did. We talked and talked and talked until Paul walked in the door at 12:30am. At that point, things got all sorts of crazy. We played some loud music, jumped around like lunatics, and ate tons of grilled cheese. At 2am, I started to get really tired and Paul begged me to stay awake a bit longer with him.
Paul’s parents are coming to visit him this weekend. This is the first time his parents have ever come to visit him that I know of. Paul and I have been together for over 4 and ½ years and I’ve only even met them once. Both Paul’s mom and dad have no idea that he’s gay, so I’ve had to move my stuff out of the apartment for the weekend. It’s a bit upsetting to me that he hasn’t confronted this issue with them yet, but we can always hope he will this weekend! And if not, in due time.
I may not see Paul again until Monday night, so he begged me to stay up as late as I could with him. That turned into a 4am evening for me. When I got to bed, I was so wired, I just laid there laughing and laughing until I felt the tears start to come. Clearly I was WIPED out. When the alarm went off this morning, my life shrivilved up and died. I clawed the sleep out of my eyes and threw my pimply ass (hork!) in the shower. I nearly fell down from lack of energy.
Tonight the cable people are coming to fix my cable box. Fuckers came last Friday when Iwas away and pretended to fix it. Now I’ve had to make ANOTHER appointment for them to fix it for real. Stupid bastids. My mom asked me why we have so many problems with our cable while she and my dad have none. I told her that NYC is just one huge hassle. She laughed and then I farted. It was a nice moment.
I’m making the nicest dinner tonight. I’m having onion rings and salad and chicken. It should be pretty good, especially since I’ve got nothing else to do. Maybe I’ll play some cards online. I’ve been horribly addicted to “Yahoo Games” lately. I’m like a Heart playing machizzle. If I lose, my hand clicks the “play again” button before my mind can stop it. At some point I may need someone to stick my hands in a blender to teach them a lesson.
Fucking hands fucking fucker zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
I gotta go.
I am honestly in a coma. It’s so figures that at 3am, staying up until 4am didn’t sound like such a bad idea. “All I have to do tomorrow is go to work and then go home and sleep! Let’s stay awake forever!” Stupid stupid stupid. As soon as I woke up this morning, I thought I had accidentally died and woke up in hell. My head pounded, my stomach churned, and I was NOT happy with the decisions I had made last night.
I had a wonderful dinner with my friend Hans. I had the salmon, she had the lollipop wings. I drank a bottle of wine myself, she had a gallon of water herself. We played some games, caught up on old times, and then I hugged her goodbye. Hans is moving out of NYC in two weeks, so this was our goodbye for awhile. Not really sure when I will see her again. But such is life…
After dinner I went home and surprised Mariah at her apartment. She is leaving today for the Cape and I wanted to be able to spend some quality time with her before the trip. Spend quality time we did. We talked and talked and talked until Paul walked in the door at 12:30am. At that point, things got all sorts of crazy. We played some loud music, jumped around like lunatics, and ate tons of grilled cheese. At 2am, I started to get really tired and Paul begged me to stay awake a bit longer with him.
Paul’s parents are coming to visit him this weekend. This is the first time his parents have ever come to visit him that I know of. Paul and I have been together for over 4 and ½ years and I’ve only even met them once. Both Paul’s mom and dad have no idea that he’s gay, so I’ve had to move my stuff out of the apartment for the weekend. It’s a bit upsetting to me that he hasn’t confronted this issue with them yet, but we can always hope he will this weekend! And if not, in due time.
I may not see Paul again until Monday night, so he begged me to stay up as late as I could with him. That turned into a 4am evening for me. When I got to bed, I was so wired, I just laid there laughing and laughing until I felt the tears start to come. Clearly I was WIPED out. When the alarm went off this morning, my life shrivilved up and died. I clawed the sleep out of my eyes and threw my pimply ass (hork!) in the shower. I nearly fell down from lack of energy.
Tonight the cable people are coming to fix my cable box. Fuckers came last Friday when Iwas away and pretended to fix it. Now I’ve had to make ANOTHER appointment for them to fix it for real. Stupid bastids. My mom asked me why we have so many problems with our cable while she and my dad have none. I told her that NYC is just one huge hassle. She laughed and then I farted. It was a nice moment.
I’m making the nicest dinner tonight. I’m having onion rings and salad and chicken. It should be pretty good, especially since I’ve got nothing else to do. Maybe I’ll play some cards online. I’ve been horribly addicted to “Yahoo Games” lately. I’m like a Heart playing machizzle. If I lose, my hand clicks the “play again” button before my mind can stop it. At some point I may need someone to stick my hands in a blender to teach them a lesson.
Fucking hands fucking fucker zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
I gotta go.
Tuesday, July 13, 2004
Wedding News and Moore
First off…I have officially completed two of the three weddings I was committed to this summer. I’ve got one more in two weeks and then three of my closest friends will be married to their wonderful husbands! The wedding this weekend was beautiful beyond belief. It was very intensive as I met so many of the different family members and did it all on about 6 hours of sleep for the entire trip. The ceremony and the reception were both amazing. The whole thing was just absolutely perfect, save for the 3 hours of pictures we took after the nuptials. That was a rough go…cuz I wanted to get my drink on!
There was a Real World cast member in the wedding with me. At first, I was floored by the presence of this pseudo-celeb, but by the time Sunday came, the mystique had been destroyed. He was a nice enough guy, but nothing to write home home to mom about. So I won’t!
My friend Jessica made the most gorgeous bride. She was gracious and fun and made sure to spend some private time with everyone who joined her on her special day. At one point, the song “More Than Words” came on and Jessica pulled me on to the dance floor. We danced and hugged all throughout our song and it was one of the most precious moments of the entire weekend. I thoroughly enjoyed myself.
I actually flew to Syracuse this time. Remind me to do that always. SO much easier.
I did check in on Ari's site this morning and was surprised to find out that she has stirred up quite a bit of political controversy. What are her comments at now? 75? Awesome. To be honest, nothing of what she has written in either the comment section or the actual post offends me. And if it did, I find it hardly my place to jump on the bandwagon of angry commenting. In my opinion, Ari's site is her site, and it should be kept that way. If you would like to enter into a debate with her, by all means. Otherwise, keep the rude and hurtful comments away. And there’s no need to email me asking me for my opinion on it. We obviously know who I’m voting for this election. And his name doesn’t rhyme with tush.
Now, as for Fahrenheit 9/11 which I was overjoyed to see last week…
I have been a fan of Michael Moore since he first released Roger and Me years ago. His movies can definitely be classified as propaganda. But it’s GOOD and SMART propaganda and no one asked you to watch it anyway. Now true, Moore definitely has control over the editing room when putting together this movie, but it wasn’t like he falsified anything. Bush HAS acted like an ignorant fool for the last 4 years and this movie showcased it. When I saw the video footage of our President sitting in an elementary classroom staring at the floor after he had been told about the first plane crashing into the trade towers, I just shook my head and thought “This is the leader WE chose. The one I (personally) voted for.” It was disgusting and proved how little control this man actually has over his country. I don’t know what I would have done in his position, but then again, I didn’t ask to be president.
I think that Moore chooses wonderful imagery to reflect his opinion. And opinion is what this movie is. If you didn’t know that before, then you are just as ignorant as the star of the movie. If you are someone who hasn’t seen the movie, yet still feel as though you can talk in an educated fashion about it, well then, refer to my last comment. The truth of the matter is, everyone is entitled to their own views of the last four years. Moore has just offered his view in the form of a powerful (if not persuasive) essay titled Fahrenheit 9/11.
There is one thing we can all agree on and that is the way he chose to open the movie. Picture this…no visual (a dark screen in a dark theater), just the sounds of the tragedy of September 11th. I started crying at that moment and don’t think I stopped until I walked out of the theatre 2 hours later. The truth of the matter is, Bush is not to be blamed for what happened on September 11th. He is a scapegoat just as Saddam was when he entered us into this horribly unnecessary war. But we stand by our president until we have the chance to oust him. I’m not saying that Kerry is the ticket to success, but I do believe that Bush has had his turn. It’s time for him to step aside and let someone else have a go at it. What’s the worst he could do? Start another war?
Whatever happens in this year’s election, your ONLY responsibility is to vote. I don’t agree with Bush supporters, but I am just happy knowing that these people are out there exercising their democratic right. If Bush ends up in the office again, the only thing that will disappoint me will be those people who sat at home watching Maury Povich on Election Day, rather than at the polls.
If you want change, vote for it. If you want to debate it, go for it. But understand that EVERYONE is allowed their opinions and they are MOORE than allowed to express themselves.
Let’s keep it a clean fight, shall we?
First off…I have officially completed two of the three weddings I was committed to this summer. I’ve got one more in two weeks and then three of my closest friends will be married to their wonderful husbands! The wedding this weekend was beautiful beyond belief. It was very intensive as I met so many of the different family members and did it all on about 6 hours of sleep for the entire trip. The ceremony and the reception were both amazing. The whole thing was just absolutely perfect, save for the 3 hours of pictures we took after the nuptials. That was a rough go…cuz I wanted to get my drink on!
There was a Real World cast member in the wedding with me. At first, I was floored by the presence of this pseudo-celeb, but by the time Sunday came, the mystique had been destroyed. He was a nice enough guy, but nothing to write home home to mom about. So I won’t!
My friend Jessica made the most gorgeous bride. She was gracious and fun and made sure to spend some private time with everyone who joined her on her special day. At one point, the song “More Than Words” came on and Jessica pulled me on to the dance floor. We danced and hugged all throughout our song and it was one of the most precious moments of the entire weekend. I thoroughly enjoyed myself.
I actually flew to Syracuse this time. Remind me to do that always. SO much easier.
I did check in on Ari's site this morning and was surprised to find out that she has stirred up quite a bit of political controversy. What are her comments at now? 75? Awesome. To be honest, nothing of what she has written in either the comment section or the actual post offends me. And if it did, I find it hardly my place to jump on the bandwagon of angry commenting. In my opinion, Ari's site is her site, and it should be kept that way. If you would like to enter into a debate with her, by all means. Otherwise, keep the rude and hurtful comments away. And there’s no need to email me asking me for my opinion on it. We obviously know who I’m voting for this election. And his name doesn’t rhyme with tush.
Now, as for Fahrenheit 9/11 which I was overjoyed to see last week…
I have been a fan of Michael Moore since he first released Roger and Me years ago. His movies can definitely be classified as propaganda. But it’s GOOD and SMART propaganda and no one asked you to watch it anyway. Now true, Moore definitely has control over the editing room when putting together this movie, but it wasn’t like he falsified anything. Bush HAS acted like an ignorant fool for the last 4 years and this movie showcased it. When I saw the video footage of our President sitting in an elementary classroom staring at the floor after he had been told about the first plane crashing into the trade towers, I just shook my head and thought “This is the leader WE chose. The one I (personally) voted for.” It was disgusting and proved how little control this man actually has over his country. I don’t know what I would have done in his position, but then again, I didn’t ask to be president.
I think that Moore chooses wonderful imagery to reflect his opinion. And opinion is what this movie is. If you didn’t know that before, then you are just as ignorant as the star of the movie. If you are someone who hasn’t seen the movie, yet still feel as though you can talk in an educated fashion about it, well then, refer to my last comment. The truth of the matter is, everyone is entitled to their own views of the last four years. Moore has just offered his view in the form of a powerful (if not persuasive) essay titled Fahrenheit 9/11.
There is one thing we can all agree on and that is the way he chose to open the movie. Picture this…no visual (a dark screen in a dark theater), just the sounds of the tragedy of September 11th. I started crying at that moment and don’t think I stopped until I walked out of the theatre 2 hours later. The truth of the matter is, Bush is not to be blamed for what happened on September 11th. He is a scapegoat just as Saddam was when he entered us into this horribly unnecessary war. But we stand by our president until we have the chance to oust him. I’m not saying that Kerry is the ticket to success, but I do believe that Bush has had his turn. It’s time for him to step aside and let someone else have a go at it. What’s the worst he could do? Start another war?
Whatever happens in this year’s election, your ONLY responsibility is to vote. I don’t agree with Bush supporters, but I am just happy knowing that these people are out there exercising their democratic right. If Bush ends up in the office again, the only thing that will disappoint me will be those people who sat at home watching Maury Povich on Election Day, rather than at the polls.
If you want change, vote for it. If you want to debate it, go for it. But understand that EVERYONE is allowed their opinions and they are MOORE than allowed to express themselves.
Let’s keep it a clean fight, shall we?
Thursday, July 08, 2004
Winfield is coming HOME!
On April 20, 2003, my brother, Winfield, was deployed to Baghdad, Iraq. With tears and frustration in my family’s hearts, we said goodbye and resolved ourselves to a life of prayer and faith. Even with my dad’s extensive military background, none of us were prepared for what the next year and a half would bring.
My brother was placed in charge of over a hundred men. It was his job to order supplies, keep team morale alive and to patrol the streets of Iraq, in a sometimes failed effort to keep the peace. He has had friends die, roommates die, and he has seen things that no one in my family will ever know about. Because of his incredible work ethic and ability to see projects through to their bitter end, he was promoted twice while there and even netted himself a Bronze Star.
The phone calls home were infrequent. Most often my parents would hear from Winfield on a weekly basis. Since he was only allowed 40 minutes a week on the phone, he would spend 20 minutes with his girlfriend and try to alternate the other 20 minutes between my parents and myself. Once in a while I would receive a letter or an email from him, but more often than not, we have relied heavily on CNN and prayer.
But now, after a 3 month long extension, he is finally in Kuwait out-processing.
My brother called me on my birthday to let me know that he was definitely coming home. I was with Paul at the time, shopping in SoHo. I immediately collapsed into the doorway of a nearby store and just cried and cried. They were tears of joy, tears of exhaustion, and tears of frustration. But could it be over? Could he be finally coming home?
On Tuesday morning, my brother called me to let me know that his return home had been pushed off again. With my parents on vacation, it was up to me to call them and let them know that this may not be happening anymore. For the last two days, I’ve walked around pretty angry and upset. It’s been 15 long months and he was told that he’d be there longer??
But this morning, I talked to my parents and it’s confirmed. Winfield will arrive in NYC on July 26th. He will have two weeks here with us before he has to head back to Germany to fulfill his last obligatory year with the United States military.
It’s hard to explain how I’ve been feeling over the last year. I think it’s suffice to say that I’ve shed buckets of tears, worn away my insides with worry, and pretty much lost hope that I’d ever see my brother alive again. We’ve missed birthdays and Christmas and Thanksgiving. He hasn’t seen a single show I’ve done in NYC and I have yet to meet the girl he has been dating for the last two years. There have been memories that I’ve had to make without him and laughs that I’ve had to share with him from thousands of miles away.
But now, I can finally relax. My brother is coming home to be with his family. He is safe. He is healthy. He is ready. I’ve never known anyone that has gone through such a difficult challenge and come out on top. He has looked death in its ugly eyes and found the will and the strength to survive it.
Not only is my little brother my best friend, he is my hero.
Sure, we could sit here for hours and debate the worthiness of the Iraqi war. We could discuss the actions of George Bush and we could argue the rights and wrongs of all of his decisions. But at this point, I just don’t care anymore. Winfield CuttheShit is out of Iraq and coming home. There isn’t a need for me to analyze this shit anymore. And there isn’t a reason for me to continue being angry.
This last year of my life has been (by far) the worst. With the grace of God, I have been able to keep my head up, despite all of the sadness and fear that has been coursing in my veins. The tears that I shed now will be out of relief.
I will never stop supporting our troops and I will never forget those men and women that are still stuck in the hell hole that is Iraq. My prayers will not stop. They will only change to fit the circumstances. If anything, I’ve certainly learned the reality of being a loved one that is left behind during a time of war. It hurts and it’s scary and I will never ever stop supporting our country and its troops. No matter how difficult it may be.
Thank you to everyone who has stood by me over the last year. Your constant prayers and emails and well wishes were exactly what I needed to get through this last year of my life. If there was a way for me to show you how deeply grateful I am, I would. But you’ll just have to take my word for it. But I can say thank you again, so THANKS TO YOU!
I’m off to a wedding this weekend. I won’t be back until Tuesday. Until then, feel free to entertain yourselves. Or re-read this post over and over so you can actually get a glimpse of how overwhelmed with happiness that I am.
My brother is coming home!
On April 20, 2003, my brother, Winfield, was deployed to Baghdad, Iraq. With tears and frustration in my family’s hearts, we said goodbye and resolved ourselves to a life of prayer and faith. Even with my dad’s extensive military background, none of us were prepared for what the next year and a half would bring.
My brother was placed in charge of over a hundred men. It was his job to order supplies, keep team morale alive and to patrol the streets of Iraq, in a sometimes failed effort to keep the peace. He has had friends die, roommates die, and he has seen things that no one in my family will ever know about. Because of his incredible work ethic and ability to see projects through to their bitter end, he was promoted twice while there and even netted himself a Bronze Star.
The phone calls home were infrequent. Most often my parents would hear from Winfield on a weekly basis. Since he was only allowed 40 minutes a week on the phone, he would spend 20 minutes with his girlfriend and try to alternate the other 20 minutes between my parents and myself. Once in a while I would receive a letter or an email from him, but more often than not, we have relied heavily on CNN and prayer.
But now, after a 3 month long extension, he is finally in Kuwait out-processing.
My brother called me on my birthday to let me know that he was definitely coming home. I was with Paul at the time, shopping in SoHo. I immediately collapsed into the doorway of a nearby store and just cried and cried. They were tears of joy, tears of exhaustion, and tears of frustration. But could it be over? Could he be finally coming home?
On Tuesday morning, my brother called me to let me know that his return home had been pushed off again. With my parents on vacation, it was up to me to call them and let them know that this may not be happening anymore. For the last two days, I’ve walked around pretty angry and upset. It’s been 15 long months and he was told that he’d be there longer??
But this morning, I talked to my parents and it’s confirmed. Winfield will arrive in NYC on July 26th. He will have two weeks here with us before he has to head back to Germany to fulfill his last obligatory year with the United States military.
It’s hard to explain how I’ve been feeling over the last year. I think it’s suffice to say that I’ve shed buckets of tears, worn away my insides with worry, and pretty much lost hope that I’d ever see my brother alive again. We’ve missed birthdays and Christmas and Thanksgiving. He hasn’t seen a single show I’ve done in NYC and I have yet to meet the girl he has been dating for the last two years. There have been memories that I’ve had to make without him and laughs that I’ve had to share with him from thousands of miles away.
But now, I can finally relax. My brother is coming home to be with his family. He is safe. He is healthy. He is ready. I’ve never known anyone that has gone through such a difficult challenge and come out on top. He has looked death in its ugly eyes and found the will and the strength to survive it.
Not only is my little brother my best friend, he is my hero.
Sure, we could sit here for hours and debate the worthiness of the Iraqi war. We could discuss the actions of George Bush and we could argue the rights and wrongs of all of his decisions. But at this point, I just don’t care anymore. Winfield CuttheShit is out of Iraq and coming home. There isn’t a need for me to analyze this shit anymore. And there isn’t a reason for me to continue being angry.
This last year of my life has been (by far) the worst. With the grace of God, I have been able to keep my head up, despite all of the sadness and fear that has been coursing in my veins. The tears that I shed now will be out of relief.
I will never stop supporting our troops and I will never forget those men and women that are still stuck in the hell hole that is Iraq. My prayers will not stop. They will only change to fit the circumstances. If anything, I’ve certainly learned the reality of being a loved one that is left behind during a time of war. It hurts and it’s scary and I will never ever stop supporting our country and its troops. No matter how difficult it may be.
Thank you to everyone who has stood by me over the last year. Your constant prayers and emails and well wishes were exactly what I needed to get through this last year of my life. If there was a way for me to show you how deeply grateful I am, I would. But you’ll just have to take my word for it. But I can say thank you again, so THANKS TO YOU!
I’m off to a wedding this weekend. I won’t be back until Tuesday. Until then, feel free to entertain yourselves. Or re-read this post over and over so you can actually get a glimpse of how overwhelmed with happiness that I am.
My brother is coming home!
Wednesday, July 07, 2004
Non-Stop Birthday!
What a weekend it was. As you can tell from my lack of posting, I have just crawled out of my hangover today. I can’t begin to explain how little sleep I got this weekend. I’m still in Zombie mode, but at least the wine headache I’ve been carrying around as my baby has finally died. I buried it out back with the other babies I’ve killed after the last couple of birthdays.
My birthday began on Thursday evening. Paul and I decided to eat sushi and attend the 8pm showing of Farenheit 9/11. The sushi was incredibly good and I was in the mood to try new things, so that’s what I did. If they had a mini-birthday cake made out of seaweed and rice, I would have gotten that too, but alas…
After dinner, Paul and I walked to the local theatre. On the way there, I heard someone scream “You fucking faggots!” I looked at Paul and said “They couldn’t have been talking about us. We’re not even walking next to each other.” Paul glanced back and saw the guys who were now screaming louder “You fucking faggots! Get over here!” Two blocks later, I was very upset to see that the scumbags screaming at us had followed us down the street. I stopped walking just in time to see scumbag number one get out of his “child molestor” van with a CANE. He was in his forties, but hobbled his way over to where I was standing. “You motherfucking faggots.” I looked him right in the eye and said “Do I know you? No, so get the fuck away from us.” He became enraged and his friend (Scumbag #2) got out of the van and started approaching us as well. I grabbed Paul by the arm and told him that we should get away as fast as possible. As we walked to the movie theatre, I heard this loser scream “Faggots” over and over and over. Under Paul’s breath he muttered “Crippled ass spics”. I told him to shut his mouth and walk faster.
Finally we arrived at the theatre. Paul and I stood inside and tears filled my eyes. Paul was so angry and I was just upset. It never gets easier being called a “faggot” by a stranger. The “child molester” van pulled up outside the theatre and parked. We had to wait 15 minutes for them to leave. After they took off, Paul and I walked home. I was too upset to see the movie.
Eventually Paul got me out of my mood and we saw a different showing of the movie at a different theatre. The movie itself was one of the most incredible pieces of artwork I have ever seen. I’ll cover that in a different entry.
On Friday, Paul took me to buy a new outfit. He spent too much money and it shows. The clothes are beautiful. We had some drinks together and played some games before heading out to a nice dinner. I had the swordfish and Paul had the steak. After dinner, Paul and I had a few more drinks before heading over to My Big Gay Italian Wedding, this new off-Broadway show. I had wanted to see the show and was overjoyed when I found out that we had second row seats. Long story short, the play sucked ASS and we left (along with just about everyone else in the theatre) at intermission. What a grand old piece of stereotypical garbage the play was. The only time I laughed is when the guy from Boy Meets Boy, James Getzalf, tried to act his way out of the cardboard box they placed him in. SUCK SUCK SUCK. SUCK.
On Saturday, my friend Angie took me out to brunch and then played a scavenger hunt with me. She had written up all of these clues and I got to run around the city like a crazy person. It was so much fun. At the end, she gave me my presents and we popped a bottle of champagne. Afterwards, we met up with Mariah and Kelly and walked down to the local Lazer Tag place. OH MAN LAZER TAG is so LAME and so FUN at the same time. You aren’t allowed to run, so we walked hella super fast and shot every little kid we saw. Of course I was yelled at for speed walking, but I didn’t care. It was my birthday and I’ll speed walk if I want to.
After a few rounds of the tag, we all had some drinks and went out to dinner with Paul and a few friends. The food was great, the drinks were great, the conversation rocked. It was an amazing dinner. After THAT, we went back to the apartment, played a few more games (I LOVE games) and went out to Splash bar in NYC. I think we lasted 30 minutes there until I convinced everyone to go home with me to play a few rounds of ASSHOLE. I TOLD YOU I LOVE GAMES!
I rolled into bed sometime around 3am.
On the Fourth of July, Kelly, Angie, Paul and I went over to our friend Megans place to grill and watch the fireworks. I have never seen a more beautiful fireworks display in my life. From where we sat, atop a rooftop in Brooklyn, I could see all three shows. I held onto Paul as tight as I could and we watched explosion after explosion. Being with my boyfriend for the whole weekend was by far the best part of my birthday.
When I got into bed on Sunday night, I collapsed into a coma. All of the drinking and pot smoking and staying up late definitely took its toll. Paul and I had a VERY low key Monday and then on Tuesday I went back to work.
PHEW! I finally got all of it down.
I must thank everyone that made my day so super special. I have the best friends and boyfriend a guy could ask for. Now I have to wait 360 days until my next one! Ah geez.
That is it for today.
I’ll be back tomorrow with a funnier and more entertaining post.
For now, this is all you get.
Get it and love it.
What a weekend it was. As you can tell from my lack of posting, I have just crawled out of my hangover today. I can’t begin to explain how little sleep I got this weekend. I’m still in Zombie mode, but at least the wine headache I’ve been carrying around as my baby has finally died. I buried it out back with the other babies I’ve killed after the last couple of birthdays.
My birthday began on Thursday evening. Paul and I decided to eat sushi and attend the 8pm showing of Farenheit 9/11. The sushi was incredibly good and I was in the mood to try new things, so that’s what I did. If they had a mini-birthday cake made out of seaweed and rice, I would have gotten that too, but alas…
After dinner, Paul and I walked to the local theatre. On the way there, I heard someone scream “You fucking faggots!” I looked at Paul and said “They couldn’t have been talking about us. We’re not even walking next to each other.” Paul glanced back and saw the guys who were now screaming louder “You fucking faggots! Get over here!” Two blocks later, I was very upset to see that the scumbags screaming at us had followed us down the street. I stopped walking just in time to see scumbag number one get out of his “child molestor” van with a CANE. He was in his forties, but hobbled his way over to where I was standing. “You motherfucking faggots.” I looked him right in the eye and said “Do I know you? No, so get the fuck away from us.” He became enraged and his friend (Scumbag #2) got out of the van and started approaching us as well. I grabbed Paul by the arm and told him that we should get away as fast as possible. As we walked to the movie theatre, I heard this loser scream “Faggots” over and over and over. Under Paul’s breath he muttered “Crippled ass spics”. I told him to shut his mouth and walk faster.
Finally we arrived at the theatre. Paul and I stood inside and tears filled my eyes. Paul was so angry and I was just upset. It never gets easier being called a “faggot” by a stranger. The “child molester” van pulled up outside the theatre and parked. We had to wait 15 minutes for them to leave. After they took off, Paul and I walked home. I was too upset to see the movie.
Eventually Paul got me out of my mood and we saw a different showing of the movie at a different theatre. The movie itself was one of the most incredible pieces of artwork I have ever seen. I’ll cover that in a different entry.
On Friday, Paul took me to buy a new outfit. He spent too much money and it shows. The clothes are beautiful. We had some drinks together and played some games before heading out to a nice dinner. I had the swordfish and Paul had the steak. After dinner, Paul and I had a few more drinks before heading over to My Big Gay Italian Wedding, this new off-Broadway show. I had wanted to see the show and was overjoyed when I found out that we had second row seats. Long story short, the play sucked ASS and we left (along with just about everyone else in the theatre) at intermission. What a grand old piece of stereotypical garbage the play was. The only time I laughed is when the guy from Boy Meets Boy, James Getzalf, tried to act his way out of the cardboard box they placed him in. SUCK SUCK SUCK. SUCK.
On Saturday, my friend Angie took me out to brunch and then played a scavenger hunt with me. She had written up all of these clues and I got to run around the city like a crazy person. It was so much fun. At the end, she gave me my presents and we popped a bottle of champagne. Afterwards, we met up with Mariah and Kelly and walked down to the local Lazer Tag place. OH MAN LAZER TAG is so LAME and so FUN at the same time. You aren’t allowed to run, so we walked hella super fast and shot every little kid we saw. Of course I was yelled at for speed walking, but I didn’t care. It was my birthday and I’ll speed walk if I want to.
After a few rounds of the tag, we all had some drinks and went out to dinner with Paul and a few friends. The food was great, the drinks were great, the conversation rocked. It was an amazing dinner. After THAT, we went back to the apartment, played a few more games (I LOVE games) and went out to Splash bar in NYC. I think we lasted 30 minutes there until I convinced everyone to go home with me to play a few rounds of ASSHOLE. I TOLD YOU I LOVE GAMES!
I rolled into bed sometime around 3am.
On the Fourth of July, Kelly, Angie, Paul and I went over to our friend Megans place to grill and watch the fireworks. I have never seen a more beautiful fireworks display in my life. From where we sat, atop a rooftop in Brooklyn, I could see all three shows. I held onto Paul as tight as I could and we watched explosion after explosion. Being with my boyfriend for the whole weekend was by far the best part of my birthday.
When I got into bed on Sunday night, I collapsed into a coma. All of the drinking and pot smoking and staying up late definitely took its toll. Paul and I had a VERY low key Monday and then on Tuesday I went back to work.
PHEW! I finally got all of it down.
I must thank everyone that made my day so super special. I have the best friends and boyfriend a guy could ask for. Now I have to wait 360 days until my next one! Ah geez.
That is it for today.
I’ll be back tomorrow with a funnier and more entertaining post.
For now, this is all you get.
Get it and love it.
Friday, July 02, 2004
I am now 27(!)
Happy Birthday to me!
Happy Birthday to me!
Happy Birthday dear ever lovable totally gay and cute guy Joey!
Happy Birthday to me!
Have a great Fourth of Julizzer everyone!
Happy Birthday to me!
Happy Birthday to me!
Happy Birthday dear ever lovable totally gay and cute guy Joey!
Happy Birthday to me!
Have a great Fourth of Julizzer everyone!
Thursday, July 01, 2004
Haiku’s of Life
For today’s post, I have decided to write about some mainstream societal issues that are plaguing our country. In order to do this effectively, I decided to explain myself in Haiku format. If you don’t know what a haiku is, let me give you a quick tutorial.
The first line must consist of 5 syllables.
The second line must consist of 7 syllables.
The third line must consist of 5 syllables.
That’s it! The last rule of haiku is to have fun. So please enjoy and please follow the rules.
The first issue I will be discussing is that of teenage pregnancy:
Killing babies fast
In time to go to the prom
No blood on my dress
My next haiku will be on the subject of drug addiction.
Put it up your nose
Inject it into your arm
A life of bullshit
As we also know, Michael Jackson is in the midst of a mess involving pedophilia. It’s sad really, especially for someone who has accomplished so much in his life as a music superstar. He will fight and fight to clear his name, but I thought I could share with you how I feel about his innocence.
You did it, did it.
Did it did it did it did
Did did did did it
With the presidential race looming in the background of our lives, I might as well express my feelings via Haiku. Here’s one about the current douche bag in office and here’s one about the future douche bag in office.
George W. Bush
Makes poor decisions all day
Unemployment calls
John Kerry is nice
John Kerry is really nice
John Kerry John Kerry nice
Were you wondering what I thought about Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie? Sure you were. Here gizzles:
Why are you famous?
Skinny, drug addled goof balls
I miss the Ledings
Saddam Hussein is now on trial for all of the torture he has caused the Iraqi people over the last couple of decades. It is only fair that I give him his just desserts.
You cleaned up real nice
But your heart is black and cold
Soon you will die, yay
To make sure that this post is fair and balanced, I should do a very honest and self-effacing haiku about myself. Here it is, for your viewing pleasure.
Why are you so cute?
Funny and Sexy and gay
You used to be fat
Tomorrow is my birthday. I will be 27 years old. My friends have planned a weekend full of activities and my boyfriend (aside from yelling at me for no reason this morning) will be spending some quality alone time with me. I hope this haiku describes my birthday to a T.
One year older now
You are the boss of your day
Hurt someone’s feelings
Isn’t everyone a birthday tyrant? I hope I can make everyone happy by running my birthday as a dictator. Dictator Hussein. Cept that I won’t get the CHAIR for my tyranny. Unless that’s the surprise my friends are talking about. They did tell me to leave out my hair gel and to wet my forehead with a damp cloth before meeting up with them. Interesting…
So finally, I leave you with one last Haikooze. I’ll be back next week with full stories about my weekend. Until then…fuck you! Er…I mean, fuck me. I mean…ah fuck you.
Long weekend starts now
I will sleep and jerk my dick
Birthday cum tastes sweet
Say “Peace Out” everybody!
PEACE OUT EVERYBODY!
For today’s post, I have decided to write about some mainstream societal issues that are plaguing our country. In order to do this effectively, I decided to explain myself in Haiku format. If you don’t know what a haiku is, let me give you a quick tutorial.
The first line must consist of 5 syllables.
The second line must consist of 7 syllables.
The third line must consist of 5 syllables.
That’s it! The last rule of haiku is to have fun. So please enjoy and please follow the rules.
The first issue I will be discussing is that of teenage pregnancy:
Killing babies fast
In time to go to the prom
No blood on my dress
My next haiku will be on the subject of drug addiction.
Put it up your nose
Inject it into your arm
A life of bullshit
As we also know, Michael Jackson is in the midst of a mess involving pedophilia. It’s sad really, especially for someone who has accomplished so much in his life as a music superstar. He will fight and fight to clear his name, but I thought I could share with you how I feel about his innocence.
You did it, did it.
Did it did it did it did
Did did did did it
With the presidential race looming in the background of our lives, I might as well express my feelings via Haiku. Here’s one about the current douche bag in office and here’s one about the future douche bag in office.
George W. Bush
Makes poor decisions all day
Unemployment calls
John Kerry is nice
John Kerry is really nice
John Kerry John Kerry nice
Were you wondering what I thought about Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie? Sure you were. Here gizzles:
Why are you famous?
Skinny, drug addled goof balls
I miss the Ledings
Saddam Hussein is now on trial for all of the torture he has caused the Iraqi people over the last couple of decades. It is only fair that I give him his just desserts.
You cleaned up real nice
But your heart is black and cold
Soon you will die, yay
To make sure that this post is fair and balanced, I should do a very honest and self-effacing haiku about myself. Here it is, for your viewing pleasure.
Why are you so cute?
Funny and Sexy and gay
You used to be fat
Tomorrow is my birthday. I will be 27 years old. My friends have planned a weekend full of activities and my boyfriend (aside from yelling at me for no reason this morning) will be spending some quality alone time with me. I hope this haiku describes my birthday to a T.
One year older now
You are the boss of your day
Hurt someone’s feelings
Isn’t everyone a birthday tyrant? I hope I can make everyone happy by running my birthday as a dictator. Dictator Hussein. Cept that I won’t get the CHAIR for my tyranny. Unless that’s the surprise my friends are talking about. They did tell me to leave out my hair gel and to wet my forehead with a damp cloth before meeting up with them. Interesting…
So finally, I leave you with one last Haikooze. I’ll be back next week with full stories about my weekend. Until then…fuck you! Er…I mean, fuck me. I mean…ah fuck you.
Long weekend starts now
I will sleep and jerk my dick
Birthday cum tastes sweet
Say “Peace Out” everybody!
PEACE OUT EVERYBODY!
