Live from Mexico

OK we're not actually in Mexico but close enough. Life even got more crazy since our last blog session. At the end of spring break in March Marni got accepted into the Arizona Teaching Fellows which was great except for the location. It's like opening the mission call and reading the name of the place you didn't want to go. Yes out of the two places possible Marni got assigned to Yuma. It's all great except for the fact that we were two weeks from buying a house (which we were able to get out of easily) and I had a job currently in Mesa. We took it as a sign of that is where the Lord wants us.

It worked out for me since my job was pretty much a nightmare even though they made changes that made it easier. This gave me the opportunity to end of good terms with them (plus I wasn't sure they were going to bring me back) So we moved to Mesa and found a little one bedroom apt that was reasonably priced and the best part was only 5 min away from my school. That totally beat the 50 min one way drive I was doing.

Marni survived her intense 6 week course by energy drinks, sleeping all weekends, by making great friends at the training, and a little luck. Now we are down in Yuma (Somerton actually) in a nice 4 bd 2000 sq ft. house we are renting. I never want to move again for at least another year. Both the moving truck and Marni's A/C went out and made the 3 hr drive all the better.

We both have teaching jobs at the same High School in San Luis which is literally a mile from the border. We are pretty excited about the opportunity to teach the kids there. I am teaching 9th grade World History and Marni is teaching 9th Grade Biology. We start our training on Aug 2 and we're pretty much stoked and a little scared to begin. Hopefully we'll keep you all informed as things happen.

In the Land of AZ

My adoring fans are harping on me, crying "update, update!" All three of them have been on my case for months now, so I suppose the time has come to appease them. Let me lay for you the scene:

A long time ago in a month called December, the Paystrups thought they had life pretty well figured out. Wifey had just gotten a new, full-time, decent paying job. Husband was preparing for the upcoming teacher-hiring season. The holidays were upon them, and the snow falling madly to Wifey's great pleasure.

On Monday the 27th, Wifey started her new job. On her lunch break she got a text from Husband saying "I'm pretty sure I'm going to get a teaching job in Arizona". Long story short, she quit her job at 6 PM the same day she began (with profuse apologies), and kissed Husband goodbye as he packed his bags and drove through the night to get to Phoenix to begin his teaching career.

Since then, life has been a whirlwind. There have been so many ups and downs that I'm physically exhausted and mentally worn. So many changes have happened I'm afraid you'll get lost if I write about them in paragraphical form, so here comes a beloved list:

• Jeff teaches middle school, 5 different subjects. He is so busy I feel like I don't have a husband anymore. When he isn't sleeping or at school, he is planning.
  
• I graduated last semester but I couldn't believe it until I had a diploma in hand. I finally do, and I am still in doubt that it happened.
  
• We've been living with Jeff's sister and her husband. While we are extremely grateful for them taking us in, I have been overly stressed by feeling we're imposing on them.
• Houses!!! The market is INCREDIBLE in Maricopa. We found one we almost bought, decided it cost too much, and found a different, more AWESOME house that we were two weeks from closing on when we found out there are even more changes on the horizon. Instead, we'll be moving into a temporary apartment in Mesa. Someday I'll go into more detail, but for now just know things are crazy.
• Though my stress levels have been through the roof with my life not having a definite plan, I feel myself growing closer to the Lord as I learn to rely more on Him.
  
• I started substitute teaching at my sister-in-law's school. It is way fun, but no lie I slept for 12 hours after the I subbed for the 1st grade class.
  
• I applied and was accepted into the Arizona Teaching Fellows program. This is an alternative route to licensure and I will be teaching secondary science next school year after an intense summer training. The program is amazing! The purpose is to bring qualified individuals to teach in high-need areas and improve education. I am going to be Mrs. Paystrup. Weird.

We are in the process of making Arizona our new home. Arizona, of all places. I love the cold. Snow is guaranteed to instantly cheer my mood. The mountains are my refuge. But somehow I have ended up in a desert. Now I know Utah is desert too, but this is full-on 100 degree days, cactus desert.

See what I mean?

I wouldn't have voluntarily chosen to live here, seeing as I like the house to be at a cool 65 degrees and I look forward to skiing all summer long. But I love adventure, and I know we were brought here for a reason. I don't yet know what that reason is, but it looks like I'll be tan year-round during the next phase of our life.

I'll leave you now with a few things I've learned while in the Land of AZ:

• Coyotes eat cats. Coyotes also can clear 5 foot and climb 7 foot walls to get to said cats.
• I met my first black widow here in Arizona. Luckily it was already dead.
• In the winter, the grass in Arizona is "dead" and matches the color of the dirt, giving me the impression that everything here is yellow.
  
• I can get In-N-Out whenever I please, and I love this.
  
• You don't have to pay for heat. But I'm sure air-conditioning in the summer will make up for that.
• I swim outdoors in February. The only others at the pool are the Canadians.
• 50 degrees is considered "cold".
• Arizona drivers really are the worst I've ever met. They don't believe in keeping a safe distance between cars, tailgate, and weave without signaling. I get really mad.
  
• Frozen yogurt is cheaper in Maricopa than it is in Logan. I really love this.
• Tile floors are much better than carpet.
• There is only one Cafe Rio in all of Arizona, despite the massive amounts of Utah transplants, and it is very hard to get to on Tamale Thursdays.
  
• July-September, everybody stays indoors. In Phoenix, the average high is 105, and the low (dead of night) 80.
  

Me in 3 months

P.S. We'll be in the 90s this week. I may just die.

Why oh Why

Well Since I woke up around 3:30 after only having a few hours of sleep with no more in sight, I've decided to get on here and ramble for a bit. Isn't life just so grand?! Here I am working in a dead end job for way less than I'm worth. This last week has been a week that I would like to soon forget. I have had 3 days of basically working by myself in a department that requires more than one person to manage. Also business increases a hundred fold with Thanksgiving right around the corner. Being by myself really doesn't bother me at all because things happen and people get sick. It's just a fact of life. But events on Thursday morning really made me quite peeved.
Thursday mornings I work with a interesting gentleman who is in his mid-60's. Nice enough guy but definitely has his little quirks. However, the most frustrating thing about him is he has extreme tunnel vision. There is only one way to do things and that is his way (or the way he knows how to do it). He resists change like it will somehow ruin his life and destroy his soul. Ever since I started working with this individual on Thursday mornings he's been dissatisfied by an aspect of my work. This aspect of work is not a crucial part of a Thursday morning and in fact has been informed by the last managers not worry about it because its not essential. However, to my co-worker its a matter of life and death to him. How dare I not perform this (in everyone's eyes but his) non-essential task in the morning.
After trying politely to explain the situation of why this task wasn't performed the night before (I was by myself and off by 8) I had reached my limit. A couple of hours later when it became time for me to finally perform this work task, he started chastising me upon completing it. By that point I had had enough and wasn't going to sit there and let some old, slow, and pretty much worthless employee tell me off. I just flat out told him he wasn't in charge. Which was a big surprise to him for he truly had delusions of his importance to the company. After a heated argument over everything I had done wrong that morning because it didn't fit the "standards" of the department he basically didn't talk to me or help me at all. He just did his own thing which I'm still wondering how he could stretch it out for 8 hours. To give some understanding of my job on a Thursday morning, I usually only have to fill the milk once in an 8 hr shift. ONCE! He somehow stretched it out, plus a few other small tasks, over 8 hours. I figure he only saved me about an hour worth of work for the day. I did about 90% of the work that had to be done. But now he hates me and my soul because I won't do things the way that he wants them done. My philosophy is that when I get to work I survey what needs to be done and then decide on how to most effectively fulfill the tasks at hand. In my opinion I would be better off working by myself on Thursdays so I don't have to worry about the crabby old fart who gets all flustered and anal when things aren't done his way. In my opinion I work a hundred times faster, harder, and more efficient than him, so he can just shut the HELL up!.
For those of you who are still reading this and haven't closed it out of severe boredom I thank you for letting me vent. This is proof that I need to get the hell out of here and get me a real job. So please pray for me that I can get a teaching job sometime in the future. Then I can deal with the wonderful education politics, but get paid a whole hell of a lot more than I'm currently obtaining.

The Eulogy I Should Have Written.

My dearest Jaimie,

I miss you more than I ever could have imagined.

I’m so full of wishes and should-haves now. I wish I would have come down and visited one more time. I should have. I wish we could have had that sleepover. I should have insisted upon it. All I wanted was to hang out with you, nothing overly exerting. Maybe get some cheesecake to fulfill that guilty pleasure of ours, but that’s it, I swear.

I wish I had given you a better eulogy, but at the time I was too absorbed in my own grief. I should have talked about how gorgeous you always were. The word gorgeous was derived just so that someday, it could be used to describe you. On both the outside and in. How rare it is to find somebody like that. First off, you had the most amazing hair. Even if it was blonde ;D. It was so thick and soft. How often does that happen? And you always had it styled in the most beautiful ways, with the accessories and fashion to match. And pink. Everything was always pink. How incredible it was that everyone thought to wear it to the ceremony to honor you, without having to be prompted.

But J, it wasn’t your style and fashion that made you gorgeous. Your eyes were deep and full of compassion. They bore into the souls of those you came into contact with, and it was impossible not to feel your love radiating through them. You shared others’ emotions and through your eyes I couldn’t ever help but feel as though you truly understood everything I felt. You were sad with me when I was sad, shared joy when something good came to me. You comforted me when I was down and felt pain when I did. You had darling cheeks, when you smiled they were rounded and full. You could always cheer me up with that smile. And with your adorable giggle that never changed from childhood.

So many memories from those early days have kept my mind occupied these last couple of weeks. I remember building potato bug farms with bubble caps full of water for all of their hydration needs. Too bad we didn’t realize potato bugs don’t drink like we do. We would play epic Barbie adventures, days on end. Of course, sorting all the goods probably took more time than the actual plot lines did. We watched Mighty Morphing Power Rangers daily, followed by Full House. You were so upset that time that I missed them both, because I was sick.

Of course there is the epic memory when we made Amanda a “chocolate” pie out of mud, and she ate it. And the time we planted an apple seed for Johnny Appleseed day in the front yard and it grew! But we were too afraid we would get in trouble that we didn’t tell your parents, and the lawn mower demolished it. On St. Patrick’s day the Leprechauns came and left gold in our classroom, and when we went home we continued to search for more gold in the yard by the canal. But it was New Year’s Eve that was always our holiday. We would make confetti and stash it until the ball dropped, because we knew the parents would be mad if they suspected our plot to mess up the house.

I hated you going to a different school in third grade, and was ecstatic when you came back to me halfway through fourth. I remember how very lonely I was when you were in Texas in sixth grade. I would look forward to being able to talk in chat rooms, back in the days before Messenger and free long distance on cell phones. I was jealous of your friendships with Jessica and later Melissa, because you were always mine.

You were mine because you are a part of me. We are two halves that came together to make a whole. Our opposites completed each other. You were blonde, a dog girl, liked to sing and be in the spotlight. I, a brunette, into cats, shy as one can imagine. But you were also the better half. I was bossy; you were relaxed and laid back. I had a temper, you were the gentle peacekeeper. You kept me in line ;) and loved me despite my flaws. You are more than a friend, you are my sister.

You taught me what friendship is. Thank you for that beautiful note. I love you forever for leaving me with that precious gift. You are my best friend too, for eternity.

I read a scripture the other night, and I instantly thought of you. 2 Nephi 22:2 and Isaiah 12:2 “Behold, God is my salvation: I will trust and not be afraid; for the Lord Jehova is my strength and my song; he also has become my salvation.”

I remember when we were 15 we talked about religion, and you weren’t into it at all. Then when we talked about it a few months ago, the light of Christ shone within you. When you got sick, rather than curse Heavenly Father for your trials, you grew closer to Him. You loved his Son with all your heart. You had such a strong testimony of Christ. I know you have been through so much pain, and I know that Christ knew exactly what you felt. I know He was your rock. I know the Atonement happened so that your gorgeous soul would be able to live with Him for eternity. And though I miss you so much it hurts, I’m comforted to know that you are in the presence of our Heavenly Father and our Savior.

I am grateful for all of my memories of my beautiful Jaim. I’m so, so grateful you called me from the hospital and we got to chat one last time. And I’m so, so sorry that I didn’t check back up with you until it was too late. I hate that I let myself get so caught up in life, full of meaningless obligations. I’ve been so self absorbed over the past few years that I’ve forgotten to take care of the relationships that mean so much to me. I just read our Facebook posts, which mostly consist of you trying to get me to come and visit. Why didn’t I do it more? Salt Lake isn’t that far away. Yet, I didn’t. I’ll always regret that. Thank you for being there for me anyway, when it should have been me there for you.

I’m sorry for the time we lost that we could have had together. I wish we could have been closer during those early teens, but I’m so glad I found you again. I’m grateful for the extra years we got together. I still wish you could have come to USU with me, but I’m glad you got to experience college before you left this world. You would have been a fantastic nurse. It is in your nature to nurture. I wish you could have had love again before you went. I hope you get the man of your dreams up there, you deserve him. I hope you get to raise children in the millennium. Though I know you aren’t gone forever, I hate thinking that we will be apart for the next eighty years or so.

Thank you for teaching me the beauty of friendship. Thank you for sharing your gorgeous light with me.

Friends for eternity,

Marn

Wasting Away

Not only have I not contributed to this blog for months, but I severely decreased the amount of blog stalking I normally do. I consider it quite a feat, to thwart my addiction to following peoples' personal lives on the Internet. As much as I truly enjoy procrastinating schoolwork, cleaning, and any other mundane task, I've come to recognize that I have a problem. This past year I have sought entertainment like never before and ignored my responsibilities. Not only did I waste hours upon hours reading strangers' blogs, perusing through failblog, and Facebooking once a day, but I fell ill to the grasp of trashy reality TV. Yes, I M.P., who almost NEVER watched TV through the majority of adolescence, fell victim to the petty stories of others' lives.

I'm about to admit to you my guiltiest pleasures. I think you may be surprised.

1. Clean House. In all actuality, I find it boring and repetitive, and I think the cast tries WAY too hard to be funny. But I get some strange satisfaction in seeing a disaster magically turned into an 'oasis'. Always with awful drapery and paint colors I would never use on my walls. This is only watched when there is nothing else on.

2. Pregnant and...(15, in Peril, 55, I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant, etc). Terribly acting, over dramatized productions of pregnant people and ER doctors. I've never been pregnant. I'm not 15 nor 55. I don't know why I get sucked in. I really don't relate to any of these people. But I watch. And fear giving birth at any moment.

3. America's Next Top Model and Toddlers in Tiaras. I just can't get enough. Oxygen plays marathons of seasons of ANTM, and I waste my entire day because I just can't stop in the middle (though I do try and do something crafty during to at least be mildly productive). Toddlers fascinates me though the parents are all the same, and the idea of spending thousands of dollars on pageants is ridiculous to me. I guess it is the search for ultimate beauty that is preposterous and strangely intriguing...

4. World's Strictest Parents, Trading Spouses, and Nanny 911. Am I just obsessed with imperfect lives? Really? I don't have enough dysfunction in my own?

5. The one I am most ashamed of...Bad Girls Club. Trashiest. TV. Ever. But I watched the entire season last year. And liked it. And hated that I liked it. So this year, I will ignore it. But I will never live that slip of good judgement down.

Why do I bring these up? I'm purging myself of them. Hopefully forever. We have received free cable for the past year and a half or so. We asked Comcast to disconnect it thrice, and never did it happen. So I have had all the cable I could ask for and more. Now they are switching everything to digital, and in 3 days' time it will be no more. Thank goodness. I can get over my reality TV show addictions and return to some sense of normalcy.

Though I really doubt blog stalking will leave my life entirely.

Didn't get the memo

So we've been having problems with Toulouse peeing in a corner of our dinning room which in all reality is only about 2 feet from the door into the laundry room where the litter box is located. For a while I thought it was we had started slacking on cleaning the litter box. Well now that we clean it more often he still is peeing in the corner. Well last night I realized what he had done and yelled at him. Oh, he knew he was in trouble and for what. I grabbed him pushed his face in it and then forced him into the litter box. Well after Marni got home she researched what we could do to get him to stop. The funny thing is in bold letters on the website was cautions to not yell, put their face in it, and/or shove him into the litter box. oops!

Instead they claimed to lay down tin foil over the spot because cats don't like the sound and feel of it. So Marni put some out on the floor and I cleaned the litter box. I kid you not less than 5 min later Slick was walking all over it like it was nothing but interesting to him. This morning he was even practically eating the stuff. I guess he didn't get the memo about cats not liking it. I'm surprised that Lou hasn't slept on it yet since he sleeps on the weirdest surfaces. Crazy Cats!

Trash Bags

Today we used our last trash bag.

It was quite momentous.

Shortly after we got married, we went to Sam's Club and stocked up on essentials to start our new life together. Really the only thing I remember buying though, were these.

We opted for the Member's Mark brand, trying to be frugal and all. They were nothing fancy. No nifty ties, no stretchy sides, not made of heavy duty plastic...In fact, they were difficult to get used to. At first I would try to stuff them full to get the most use out of each bag, but they would easily tear and leave a mess in the middle of the kitchen floor. Or we would scrape food into the garbage can the bag would fall in, just like in that Glad commercial with the meatloaf, because we hadn't tied a knot tight enough. I day dreamed about one day finally using up all of these bags, and promising myself that I would spend the few extra dollars on nicer ones. Finally, that day has arrived.

We have had these bags for 2 years and 4 months now. A random time to reflect on our marriage, but the bags have made me think about the "jerni" we've been through. 2.3 years is a long time, and yet sometimes it feels like we just began. It has in no way been perfect. I've had to put up with his inability to put clothes in the hamper (they are usually in front of it), he's had to deal with my emotional breakdowns. There have been spats over meaningless and unimportant matters, fights over serious issues, and we both tend to get grumpy when hungry. I love to swim and ski, he has a phobia of water and would rather watch movies than do "extreme sports". We are both independent and have strong opinions that don't always agree (a conservative and a liberal in the same house?!?). And yet...

It only gets better and better.

We have learned how to appreciate our differences and love one another for them. He oohs and ahhs when I show him the finished product of a craft I just learned, and I listen to his stories about epic battles on the PS3. Together we have discovered our inner child selves at Disneyland, relaxed at the hot springs of Lava, teased the cats with laser toys, and found that snuggling down together at bed time is perhaps the best part of the day. He kisses me goodbye every morning, and brings me lilies because they last the longest. I traveled to four different stores to find him Reese's Pieces Eggs at Easter because those are his favorite. He pushes me to study when I don't want to because he cares that I succeed. I push him to fill out his teaching applications because I believe in him when he doesn't believe in himself.

I love him. And I'm 99.9% sure he loves me (he definitely will tomorrow, I cooked him lunch to take to work ;D). That love takes new forms each day. Sometimes it is more obvious than others, and we each continually strive to show the other that it is there. He likes to remind me that love isn't a "happily ever after", but a process.

Sometimes it is hard for me to accept that thought, knowing that I have to constantly work at making life great. Our old garbage bags were a challenge to get used to. I had to accept that I just couldn't shove in as many milk jugs as I would have liked, and found that emptying it a few papers less than stuffed meant the bag wouldn't tear. I taught Jeff how to tie a big enough knot so they wouldn't fall into the can. And those bags followed us through these years, serving their purpose well. Like getting used to the bags, it was hard (but definitely worth it!) to get used to being "us" in the beginning. Now we are into our third year together, and we are getting comfortable with who "we" are. We both smiled as he put the last old bag into the garbage, remembering those beginning days. We have learned who we are, and we know where we want to go together. Now we can move on to even bigger and better things.

Like Glad Force-Flex trash bags.