The John Stakes Diary

Woohoo. A Thursday jazzercise night all to myself. The grande one.

No Bro pop-ins this time. Somebody did open the screen door like they were coming in, then rang the bell. Turned out to be a delivery.

Grr. Ahh.


I'm trying to be nicer when Daddio is around since he's been giving us huge breaks. Been tough to do.

Got to try and remind myself, if it was more normal, I wouldn't have any problem with doing it. Especially during the second drafts.

Re: For Dad...
From: "Me"
To: Bro
Bcc:.
Date:Thu, Mar 31, 2011 9:30 am


Dad would like you to send him how much interest was credited to your savings account at U.S. Bank at the end of each quarter of 2010.

Also, is your job title still: Technical Support Specialist III and is your phone number still (652) 867-5309?

Regarding our use of a Schedule M with your 1040 return for 2010, let me tell you what I found out. The "Making Work Pay and Government Retiree Credit is actually two (2) tax credits and you qualified for the former (the "Making Work Pay" credit). What I'd like you to do some morning when you're home at 8:30AM is to call 1-800-829-1040. Tell whomever picks up the phone that "you have some questions on the use of Schedule M for the MAKING WORK PAY TAX CREDIT". Be prepared to wait five (5) minutes (or so) before someone else picks up the phone. When someone finally picks up the phone, write down his/her name and I.D.#. Then say: "I'm going to give you my name and social security #; I'd like to know how much of a tax credit the IRS entered for me on line 63 of my 1040 return for 2009". Also, ask him/her: "What was the size of the refund check you were sent in late May, 2010?" In your email response, send me the name and I.D.# of the IRS agent as well as what was entered on line 63 for 2009 and what was the size of your refund check for 2009.

Dad

Dang. He's in the back yet again.

B-ball on too. Doubleheader.

It's like he finally realized what's been driving me nuts for so long. Hey, there's a free bed back there you could lay on for friggin hours before Mom hogs it!

Could this be a new era? Oohlala.

Maybe he's been doing taxation in the wee wee hours and I don't even know it. Seriously doubtful. I'd probably see that dreaded briefcase around that always announces tax season.


This should be my most least freakout year so far, in regards to tax. There's a little bit of a curveball that could make things a little more problematic, possibly open an ugly door. But whatever. If serious talks are generated, I'll just reveal the project.

And in the remote possibility if things get really heated, what the hell, I'll leave. It'd be pretty crazy, but also crazy freeing in a lot of ways.


Got some stuff done today. Should try to get a little bit ahead, cause once the deadline gets closer natural instincts will kick in and the suspense will be much more intense.

But for now, my sleep is sound.

Been a glorious week so far. Daddio has continued going into the back bedroom for long periods.

I got Monday's jazzercise to myself last night. Tonight, a prayer meeting. Ohmmmmm.


I guess the thing to hope for is nothing on tv. Due to college b-ball tournament being the focus of thing there's been less pros on. So he naps.

Hmm. Actually, baseball is on now. It was on last night too. Perhaps he'll continue going back there to gander. Basketball is kinda tough to watch on a smaller tv cause the players are so teeny. Baseball doesn't really have that problem, since the pitcher and hitter stare at each other for most of the ten hour lifespan of a game.

Tis only the exhibition season though. Maybe he'll want to see the games in all their glory once they start to count.


He was all over Bro to bring over his tax stuff early, because he said he planned to tackle it early this year. He's got a Vegas trip planned for the 15th of next month. Which doesn't sound like he'd have to step up the pace all that much. And like anyone could have fortold, he hasn't, despite the incredible lack of sports watching.

I'm thinkin the avoidance might have something to do with the dramatic increase in nappin.

I didn't do anything today either.

The big installation went as easy breezy as could be. The add-on too. Both took a little less than a half hour.

Waking up today was a little more brutal than it's been in awhile. Perhaps it was the bigger difference, the better weekend than usual crashing into back to the grindstone.

Said grindstone isn't all that terrible at the moment, either. Finished reading that tutorial last week that was sorta similar to mine [not really, turns out-- much less fun, and much more confusing]. This week isn't diving into trying to write anything-- it's going over a light skeleton of a game. Then after that, a more massive framework.

I do have concern of having to do both of those still, before writing a game AND the actual writing. Time's a' wastin. So I decided wasting a little more wouldn't hurt. Like always


Rediscovered the ditty I was gonna use for my unwritten birthday post while avoiding installs this weekend.

This weekend felt a lot more relaxing. Well, Saturday anyway.

Daddio went into the back around 11 and didn't come back out until after dinner. Nice.

Of course he asked about medical insurance before he did. Just if I heard the news that my company's rate hikes were being delayed and put on the backburner. Yep yep. So that was the end of that.

No Bro. Which is like a major commitment too. Instead I caught up with the ol' b-ball sim. Mmm.

Felt like a day where I actually had control over what I want to do. Didn't have to worry about Dad coming in and seeing me with some of my printed out stats, which could very possibly result in him hounding me forever to fetch them on the internet whenever any notion caught his fancy. I could let it all hang out, so to speak.


Today, egh. Not as freebird. He did go in the back yet again, missed dinner too. But it took till around 2.

He and Mom did one of those awesome handoff deals again. Two seconds after his bedroom door closed, she came in the front door, back from her exercisin.

Still nice.

Turns out the computer disturbance should be costin zilch after all. She got a church friend's old copy of the office software she needs.

I have to install it. Dammit.

I was trying to create a weekend with almost zero shit to do-- no Bro rides, no crazy Dad stuff, the bathrooms looked pretty decent. It'd be pretty nice not to have to deal with any of that stuff. Enjoy the clean pewter. Churchification would be the only pain in the ass thorn.

Sure, it's just an install. But it's a mammoth program. Along with some other add-on to read newer docs she wants to me to install too. Ergo, it's probably a mammoth installation. An hour? If all goes well?

Still haven't opened that curtain to find out. Which hasn't exactly kept the woohoo flavor of the weekend goin though.

Looked like I was going to get another Thursday epic jazzercise session to myself.

Daddio had gotten around to eating breakfast around 4:30. Indeed, he tells me to eat alone.

He stays out in front though, working on his epic scripts in case he gets a return phone call.

Not too big of a biggie. I go in the back to watch a little tv, waiting for him to poke for an hour and go in back. Not ideal either, but I should have at least 2-3 hours.

Bro shows up.


It's not nearly as powerful of a kick in the nuts it used to be. I don't know what the hell I was going to do with the free time exactly. However, I definitely DID want some pure isolation.

He wants to watch college b-ball. I hate college. But he's fine with just flipping to it here and there.

Missing In Action 2/Saw 2. Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2, the remade series. A South Park episode about huge crap, literally.

Still was good.

He eats the tuna I had been saving for my Friday lunch, when Mom buys fresh bread from the bakery. Oh that hurts. He made like he was gonna eat the last brownie of the batch Mom made cause she felt so aw shit about how I was struggling with the pewter. Wanted to give it to him. Couldn't. Had been salivating for it. Didn't eat the thing in front of him, waited another day.

Powerful stomach pains. My ass explodes. Still got to take him back. Hoping I can keep it regulated in the car. I do.

Raining. Pretty strong. Struggle a little with the visibility.


Egh, still get about a half hour to myself basically after returning. A good enough night. Got the weekend visit out of the way so I can focus on other stuff I want to do. Finally get some solid bball sim time again.

Daddio's been lovely to deal with since he got back.

His return Sunday was the start of the pain. Heavy rain was in the forecast for the afternoon. So I figured he might come home early to try and avoid it. So I had to go Jesus. In sucky weather, instead of staying all warm n' toasty inside.

At least that wasn't a wasted trip. Came home, he was there.

The 100 percent chance of rain meant a 100 percent change of having to grabass with the showercurtain in the rain when he returned.

We go out to do it. He wants to stand there for eons. "Let's wait and see if it gets better..."

ARGH. I tell him the forecast is for heavy rain to start in the afternoon, which is officially the phase of day we're in now. Still wants to take his chances.

Finally, he gives up, we begin. And the rain starts pouring.
Grrrrrrrrrrrr.


Then after that we keep having to go out throughout the day for friggin little alterations. The rain had let up before that, but he's so freaked about getting wet, he only wants to stay outside for a minutes or two.

Came in to freakin poke that night too. Never does the night of his return. Had to tell him the computer was down.

He returns soonafter. "Did you do any vaccuuming in this room while I was gone?" You remember his vaccuming-destroys-computers theory, right. Jesus.


Had to grabass with the curtain two days in a row after the storm. He's also been spazzing about this guy calling him back that he's trying to squeeze deals out of. Dude never does anymore.

That's the only irritant now, and it's relatively minor. That and having to re-install my mother's MP3 player deal on the computer today. It had looked fine after things got workin again, but it couldn't transfer files anymore.

Late in the afternoon I took my first nap in eons. Holy shit. Felt so good.

Egh. The computer nightmare continues.

I get out of the bathroom this morning, Mom's not happy. Her Office edition don't work anymore.

Before I put the kablewie on the hard drive, I had recalled years ago her saying something about that being a problem if the computer died. But I pulled the plug anyway. I didn't exactly have a whole lot of options.

And it's kinda not really my fault. It would work fine, if she had kept the product key they gave her when she downloaded it.

There is such a glorious irony to this. Part of all the pressure during the pewter sickness was her being all spazzy about our project possibly dying on the hard drive. The recovery deal backed up our data, so it was still there. Not that I really need it anyway. I have the rough drafts printed out. The stuff needs to be rewritten a bunch. And I'd love to have an excuse to sit with actual paper and a pen to work.

She kept spazzing about it. When she wasn't wanting to buy a new computer, she was asking if she should buy a flash drive. Saying we were going to get Carbonite now, dammit [one of those backup deals]. Harping on me to be responsible about my data.

Heh.

Told her, we can just freakin keep the crap we need on freakin email accounts.

If product keys were responsibly accounted for, the inconvenience would be relatively minor.

Called tech support, they said we were doomed. Tried some online product key retriever apps. They all appeared to just get it from the registry. Since the system is fresh, it ain't there. And it probably isn't something that is somewhere in the data files.

So money must be spent, looks like. Dammit.

Back.

Got a better hold of myself the night after it hit. The damn computer was quite healable, I decided. Had the same problem before, fixed with time travel, so it couldn't be a hardware problem. Can get software repairs for Windows from Microsoft. Can get lots of help with nasty viruses.

The first day was basically getting 8,000 Windows updates thrown at me at a snail's crawl. The second, an epic virus scan to check if I had something.

Said I did. Actually my antivirus said so as well before the crash, before I stopped it cause it was taking so long again.

Looked up the virii. Allegedly nuclear. On a threat level of 1 to 10, a 10. The ones the scan wouldn't clean out because it was too danagerous, anyway. Oh boy. Wondered if they might not be able to be removed, like ever.

Saturday, found some recipes for cures. Downloaded more anti-virii tools, did more scans. Didn't know I had launched a freakin quickie scan with the first until afterward. Said quickie scan found stuff too... but it removed it, easy breezy. Couldn't be the real problem, could it? So I launched the in-depth scan.

Took twelve hours. Came up clean.

Sunday, let loose another anti-virii monster. It too detects a virus, removes it. Hmm. I do a search on the detection, many people have false positives.


Didn't have time to do much else. Mom's pressure to buy a new computer ramped up by the day. Spilling into Monday was rough, but I believed I would have it licked soon. But definitely wasn't sure. She gave me a deadline of the end of the day. Getting all pissy. Not about my fixing exactly, more on my stubborness in trying to block her from spending more cash.


With a clean bill of health from two reputable tools and still possessing a crawling system, I figgered said system must be damaged. I run a system file checker. Again and again and again, because of foo-foo bullshit getting in the way of making it run right. First time, wrong registry path for replacement files to be found. Second, apparently Windows can't get past its own security-- I direct the path to check out our partitioned backup drive with the original version of XP locked away. No can do.

Since I can't get to the backup files, I look to making CD backups. 15 discs. Each disc taking over an hour. And two out of the three I make are fuckups, apparently because the slow crawl is killing the ability to write new copies.

However, the one copy I DO make is the first cd. And lo and behold it has the file folder I allegedly need. So I can just pop that into the CD tray! Woohooo!

Have to run the damn filechecker scan again, each time, an hour and a half. Insert the CD. STILL doesn't recognize it.

Article says I can copy the file onto the C drive. So I do. All 5 gillion megabytes of it. Run the fucking checker again.

Nope.

And this time, bonus... it ERASES the old necessary system files. Without any replacements located.

I'm thrown back into system recovery. I'm back to square one. Thursday morning all over again. Ancient version of Windows reinstalled.

But the system is healed by this, so. Back to square one, but with normal speed restored.

I had thought hard about doing that intentionally. Couldn't commit cause, what if it didn't work? Having to crawl through 80 million updates AGAIN? Brrr.

Now things are a lot faster than the same ol' same ol' too. Whoosh! Glorious!

I did it. Zero new computers purchased. Zero repairmen called. Hundreds of bucks, saved.


Looking back I'm a little surprised at how deeply it affected me. Got an hour sleep after the hit. Was pissing like a racehorse all Thursday... like every fucking TWENTY MINUTES. I've never had that happen before. Couldn't believe it.

Egh, Japan and my freetime torn asunder figured in too I guess. Also had a medical insurance payment to ask for, one I had put off asking for, just a littttle too long.

It was quite painful, having a glorious fatherless Thursday night and Friday morning[jazzercise + two shopping trips-- AND a trip to church that night for Lent] and being computerless. But egh, it was still pretty enjoyable. The black cloud overhead was not cool, but Friday I had located hope and faith again, so it wasn't terrible. Started to see the good things again.

And once again, everything worked out.

Electronic tsunami.

Decided to do a detailed scan for viruses, deal with what happened. The anti-virus program slowed to a crawl again, then rendered Windows to it, despite turning the anti-v off.

So I travel back in time to get the speed back up. Works, only this time Windows steps in and decided to "fix" some disk errors.

No more worky.

Had to do a system recovery, bring Windows back to where it was years ago when we bought it. Still was slow as shit.

And since the system is at such a crawl, all updates and virus scans are kind of impossible to get.

I'm breaking down a bit. Mom wants to buy a new computer. If I don't get this all worked out soon, she'll want to go purchase. And if I don't succeed, well, Dad will be home on Sunday, in that case getting a new computer will turn into a painful war.

Not sure I can fix this.

Japan has been REALLY effing with my head.

First, trying to swallow all things spiritbird. It's always hard to believe we have control of our own personal worlds when there are all sorts of mass casualties going on. It's still difficult to think that logic runs things, though. Yet I can't buy Japan as one big mirage.

All the disasters that have happened since I've gotten into it I could kinda explain away. Like, they all happened in horrible shitholes of the world, where life is so friggin horrible it's easy to figure how a group mindset could trigger even greater horribleness.

Japan, that's another story. Seems pretty nice there. I guess New Zealand is probably pretty swank too, I just wasn't paying too close attention.


But boy, I'm sure paying it now. Totally locked into the real-world realization that, me and this life of mine is sitting on a freaking time bomb. Any moment the same damn thing can happen here.

At first I was afraid of dying. Then people I know dying. Then I figured, well, we'd all probably live, considering only a small fraction of people bite the big one.

But life as we know it? Gone forever. Reduced to fucking rubble. Living in a wasteland. Trying to get back to some sort of stability.

How horrible would that be?

I could see how a part of me would actually like it. Everyone would be taken down to my level. No more society, at least for awhile. All them jobs, out of commission.

Not that I can root for it, of course. But if voodoo is indeed real, I'm worried that seeing that silver lining ain't good. Worse, the belief that an apocalypse here is inevitable is growing in me.

Do I eventually move? Leave my parents and Bro here? Shit, that's another thing. Move away and enjoy the benefits of distance, only to have earthquake refugees living with me probably weeks later.

That's like the best possible post-scenario.

I have a few physical possessions that would be tough to lose, that'd be difficult to round up. Or justify rounding up. I wouldn't call them superficial. They're such a part of me, such an important piece of what this life has been... to lose them would be absolutely crushing.

Guess you gotta just enjoy it all while it's still here, right.


Mom went to a church meeting tonight. That Tenderness movie was on again. Since I had the house to myself, watched it a second time. Think I liked it a little more than I did before.

Before I watched the first half of it, stopped to watch the Clippers play the Spurs. Sorta. Ended up doing a lot of beard trimming at the dinner table. Then busted the second part.

Pretty nice coincidence.

Well, the moment of truth finally came. Later in the day today, before she was leaving for jazzercising.

No problem whatsoever. She was totally fine with my explanation.

"I know it's difficult... and I know you haven't slacking off..."

Eesh.

In a sense, that's right. A very slight sense. I show up everyday. Almost every day I'm wanting to turn things around. Good intentions for the most part, at least.


Can't slack off in relief now. Don't think I will, as today I found what felt like a freakin GODSEND this morning. A dude's free online tutorial kinda-sorta like mine. Explains some of the structure I need to figger out.

Thing is it's in a different programming language, although it's not too different, a very close cousin of the one I'm working with. Still need to understand the nuances.

Whipped through nine chapters of it today. 11 to go. Hope to get em done tomrorrow. Not counting on it, as they should get more difficult. Three days I say.

He explains some things great. Some things terrible.

Not a whole lot of visitors. But a bunch of commenters were crazy thankful for his approach.

Man, for awhile there I was starting to get convinced by all the uppity programmers that what I wanted to do would indeed be rocket science. Turns out, not so. Ahhhhhh.

A positive development. Feels all nice and weird, having some wind in my sails.

No project meetings yet. Judging from Mom's mood, I think it will indeed be ok. Sure ain't no slam dunk though, if she remembers it's been two months.

I've been having trouble with it. But managing. Today I started to believe my story. Even if I DID focus for the past two months, I feel I'd still probably be a lost and not completed much at this juncture.


Have you sensed the difference of how I've been feeling about Daddio the past few weeks? Cause there's definitely been a shift. Absolutely. It ain't all gummy bears and candy canes or anything, but I ain't been as pissy toward him. It's a little bit mo better.

However, yesterday was his prep day for his Vegas vacation. And of course I had steam blowin out of my ears.

I think I could've handled it better if it played out closer to my expectations. Not that it still wouldn't have been irritating as hell.


Like always, he waited until the very last drops of sunlight to finally get into the bathroom and start combing. New wrinkle was he surprised me with an early poke session too beforehand. He usually doesn't play at all the day before.

I go out and start cleaning windows, razorblading old duct tape off where the showercurtain was blown off because of powerful winds earlier in the week.

Then I'm hit with another curve.

Mom comes out. Says she thinks he's going to take her car. Cause it might be raining in Vegas during the week.

Good way to get me to fume.

Don't like her having to deal with that car and his shoddy upkeep. Definitely not a fair trade. She hates the thing. It's almost twenty years old, has thirty gillion miles on it. She doesn't feel comfortable driving it.

Oh, and she got in an accident earlier in the week again. Luckily verry light. Backed out of a parking spot, hit someone else backing out. Only thing effed on the dude's car was his back wheel cover. Her trunk is a tiny bit crumpeled. So she didn't want to report it and have to go weeks using the other car while hers was in the body shop. Whew.

And here that same crap was, back again days later.


An hour later, Daddio finally emerges from the bathroom. Says no, he's gonna take the older car.

Mom then tries to insist on HIM taking it, all martyrly pissylike.

Fuck.

No dice, thank the Lord. We de-curtain.

And apparently that's all Daddio could handle today. There was a b-ball game starting up, but usually he can taking missing a bit. Besides the game sucked.

Leaves me to try to get this old duct tape off the tailight, an impossible task.

And before he high tails it back inside, turns out I've got to go get his gas. He was able to do that himself before. It was a landmark achievement. Now, torn asunder.

I go and bust it. Come back. I figure that he didn't ask me to do the tires because he had the tire store do it when he took the car in last week. Oh no.

Hands me a buck for the air. Have to go right back.

The gas station I usually fill them up at, their fuckin air machine STILL is out of order. Go to another one. For some reason on one tire I can't attach the hose to the valve stem without losing air, no matter how hard I try. True, said valve stem was in an awkward place to deal with because of how the tire stopped when I parked. But usually it ain't THAT big a deal.

Wrestling with it for hours, tryin to get it on, putting another bunch of quarters in. Inevitably I just shoot hose air into the air spilling out of the valve stem and hope for the best. I don't have any more quarters on me, luckily the tire does fill up again. Not up as high as it should be, but good enough for me to say fuckit.

Egh, it's one of the new tires, should be ok. Been almost a week since he got them. Judging from where they were at, they won't lost much air in a week if there's a leak. And hell, it was about close to equal to the air in the other new tire, so. Of course neither were near Daddio's tire filling specifications, but I guess he forgot them. They were surprisingly low, every time tires come back from a mechanic in my experience they're filled to the damn brim. Except this one, dammit. Sure would've been nice to just let out a little air all around.

Clean the rest of the windshield. He asks from behind the screen door how the gas readout looks. You know, so I can go back yet again to top off the tank if he, mr. anal mathemetician was off. And indeed he was. It was only 75 percent full or so. I just pissily say it looked fucking good.

At that point I was almost three hours into the festivities, so.

I noticed my anger was different too though. Oh, I still tried to avoid watching b-ball with him. Still played loud pissy songs, many about ending bullshit. But egh, it was mostly fantasy this time. Blowing off steam and that's that. Still frustrated, but a lot less hateful.

At least he waited until the music stopped to come ask me for stock chart printouts. Which I had printed out for him only days earlier. The basic overall market ones. That he also takes copious notes at various points of the day on.

Had to laugh and take a look at the microscopic changes myself.

-------------------------------------------

Sweet time change. Not the kind where you travel back and gain an hour dammit.

He woke me up this morning. Said to help him load up. I figured I knew what else.

Yeah. We didn't check the oil or the water yesterday.

Then finally, he was gone.

Surprisingly I hadn't even been yearning for that Sunday alone time much at all. Not sure if that was because of the downgrade of it being not a full-on freedom week, or all the tension due to the upcoming project meeting.

Egh, probably both.

Have a harrowing story of skin of my teeth survival in the digital world. Almost didn't make it.


It didn't start out all that scary. Daddio came in to bust more stock trades in the morning. Was having trouble with AOL.

I got up to have a look and was surprised. Indeed, real problems. No matter how many times I rebooted, it wouldn't work. Took five years to get the welcome page. No sale at all on any web surfing. Nothing but blank windows.

The fear was reduced further when he left the room and I checked if Explorer still worked. Yep, like a champ. So I could connect to the 'net still to figure out the problem if it was huge.

I didn't suspect it to be. I figured a reinstallation of our sweet AOL software would do the trick. It had been YEARS since we had to do that last. Used to have to do it like every six months.

And I was glad also. The shit had been driving me nuts lately. Been having to reboot late at night so Mom has fresh memory to work with for her morning websurfing session, or Daddio's early morning stock trades. The thing's been good for one or two sign on's before it takes forever to get online with it. Big pain in the ass.

Next week I was planning on getting a bunch of shit in shape anyway, with him gone. Install the updated version of my antivirus deal, see if that fixes it. I've been gambling and not doing scans at all since they slow shit down to a crawl. The thing still updates, still gives warnings when it comes across shit it doesn't like, so I'm pretty sure I'm not too diseased.


I reinstall the software. Damn, the problem doesn't go away. And as an extra bonus, the system slows to that awesome crawl again.

I travel back in time. The restore point fixes the speed deal... but nope, AOL still has got nothin but empty windows. Crap.

I'm starting to doubt myself. But hey, I've still got Internet Explorer in my back pocket. I shall find the answer.

Dad hounding me all morning, trying to do his business... turns out he did it on the phone. He says for three times the commission than it would cost him online.


Then, things start getting out of control.

First while I'm having my lunch. Mom decides to get on and see if the rest of the computer is moving slow, not fully capturing my explanation after my successful time travelling session. I figure, egh, what the hell, what can she do.

Oh she does plenty. Loads up Internet Explorer herself. Shit. Says it works just fine.

I don't think she looked at any of the history, judging from her face. Grrr. So now I've got to let them use it. Grrrr. Fuck! And I probably got to start getting better at cleaning up my history anyway. Start using that damn stealth mode. Like an animal.


Then, things REALLY go into the shitter.

I decide, well, maybe I'll try to update Explorer. It's old. Might cure the AOL problem. Besides, if Mom's gonna use it tomorrow [she was planning to apply for Social Security, kinda important] I should probably figure out how to get things to print out of there again. Wanted to update it anyway as part of all the stuff I wanted to computerally improve, so.

I go to Microsoft, download. Good news, they scan for malicious software before installing. Don't come up with nothin.

Bad news.... the installation doesn't work. It hangs. For hours. Because it said it was running, I figured it was, just slowly. I tried to wait it out. Oh the pain.

Worse news... the system returns to a freakin crawl.

WORST news.......... I travel back in time to try to erase the damage. But the old version of Explorer is gone, replaced by the half-assed new one.

I click on it, a window shows up for a second, then immediately disappears. Over and over and over again.

Oh shit. I'm without any internet connection. Screwed. Gonna have to take it in for repairs. WHILE HE'S AWAY. Gonna have people lookin through my stuff....

Look for help files in Windows. Those don't work either.


I still figure this will all turn out ok. I fully realize I've wanted most of everything up to this point. I still believe that somehow, I'll conjure up some sort of working internet browser, somewhere in this damn computer. Without any instruction on how to do so whatsoever.

I look and look. And I find it.

Months and months ago, I had tried to update Explorer. Thing is I downloaded it off Yahoo, and after I got it saw it was gonna have Yahoo shit all over it. Figured egh, I'll just go to Microsoft some other time and get it without that crap.

The setup program was still there. I launch it. It looks exactly the same as Microsoft's did this afternoon. The one that didn't work. And killed the system again.

Gotta try. So I do... and...

Success! The drives whirr WAAAAY more, the steps fly by, it's working!


Go tell Mom the whole near-miss story while it finishes up. Whew.

Go back to start it up.

Same problem. Get a window for a second, then poof. Noooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Do the reboot like they reccommmended.

Ahhhhhh. Internet connection restored.

-------------------------------------------------

I figure out the problem. After my last time traveling session, I didn't update the antivirus right away. So it was off. So I figure, THAT'S why the Microsoft download worked the second time and not the first.

I reinstall AOL again. Try it out with the antivirus still off. It works too.

Woohoo, problem located. After dinner and the Lakers-Heat, I update the ol' anti virus program to the new version.

And everything works in tandem, gloriously.


All in all, a good day I've got soooooo much of what I wanted. An updated version of AOL that shouldn't be anywhere near the pain in the ass. An updated antivirus that should no longer smash the kneecaps of my system. A newer version of Explorer. And the cherry on top, a virus scan that says I'm clean.

All I have to do now is grabass with Windows and try and get some of its kinks out. Which will still be a pain, but with all these other ones taken care of, shouldn't hurt too much.

Especially getting them taken care of on company time and not when I'm freebird.


And I got rewarded for my day of hair pulling with holy shit, the coolest TV show ever! Fast forward to 11:00.

Dang. Not sure if I wrote about it before. Almost certain not in the last few years, even though the danger is higher.

Today has the possibility of being one of the most odious days of the year.


Is Ash Wednesday not seen as a required church day? Cause Daddio never gets on my back about goin, for some reason.

Maybe he just forgets. Previous Ashy W's I seem to recall him going in the back bedroom for parts, so he wasn't around to see Mom heading off to church and such. That's a very vague recollection, mind you. I don't see how he could be kept completely in the dark. Then again, Mom has regular church meetings, so when she says that's where she's goin, maybe it just registers as one of those.

It's possibly the most religiously odious because of one added wrinkle: on this particular day you're supposed to come home with a souvenir. i.e. some shit rubbed onto your forehead. Meaning, if I say I'll go, I'll have to REALLY go. And get that mark. Of a believer.

Lordy.

I think my streak will live on. I hope Mom doesn't go. She hasn't said anything. Seriously doubt she'll stay home though.

Pray for me some more.

Think I've got enough.

These searches have been frustrating. Hundreds of webpages sifted through, all the livelong day.

Still didn't find anything that fit. And all I'm looking for is a goddamn basic, BASIC example. You'd think somewhere on the interwebs I'd be able to find one. It's not like shooters of the first person variety are Pac-Man, of which I bet I could find a bunch easily.


Read that the demo that comes with the engine, it's basically a shooter. I never knew cause I hadn't been able to get it to run. Saw the video of it running and it didn't look all that much like one. Ooh, turns out you can fire at people.

Banged my head awhile trying to get it to run. Finally did. Looks nice. Impressive.

About 10-20 pages of code, I'd guesstimate. Very complex. I'll try to figure it out in the next few days. Run the thing for her. Show her the complexity. Should be ok, I think.

Still doesn't look like it has much of the structure that a game would. I'll have to search some more. Find and understand that, I should be set pretty good. Then I could just figure out bits and pieces posted here and there.

I feel soooooooooooooo out of my element with this shit. All the people that use this crap, they're grand freakin wizards at it. Can't ask any questions really, because the "beginner's" forum is full of programming masters wanting to know stuff.

So much to fucking know. It seems impossible to acquire it all.

The search for a game lasted all day. The impossible dang search.

Somehow, nothing small and simple is available. Not even on the engine's own damn message boards.


Think it'll still be ok. Way back I had planned on using this deal this dude made that shoots out a basic framework of a game, based on your specifications. Only problem is it was made with a very early version of the engine, so it don't compile right anymore.

So I'm gonna have to download it, try to get the thing to work, then try to update what it spits out. Hopefully that'll all go swell, but absolutely that ain't guaranteed.

Not even sure how long a basic-basic thingie will be. With all the damn engine simplifies, it shouldn't be enormous. Not that I want it to be supershort, either.
15-20 pages? The demo game of the dealio doesn't look like there's all that much more added than what's in the tutorials. Egh, 30-40 wouldn't be too bad either.

Kinda want the last section to be around 50 pages so it's faster to write. Kinda want it to be 100 so it's more impressive and girthy.

Either way, pray for my programming.

Saturday was my birthday jammy jam/tire grabass.

Wasn't a big deal. Daddio said he was going to take it up himself. He just wanted us to get the tire off, put the donut on. Sounded way reasonable.

Got another boatload of shirts. Pair of jeans. Itunes gift cards.

Daddio was still opening gifts from his birthday too. Which I was glad about. He didn't get too pissed at the jacket Mom bought for him, which was nice too.

Had to bring Bro up, take him back. Didn't pester him about getting his damn license though. The other two do that enough. He said he should be a driver again within the next month during dinner. Bet it'll still be awhile until he's driving too. If you refer to your notes years and years before the suspension he was supposed to be buying a new coche all the damn time. Never happened.


I was gonna write something moody on my birthday. Felt it in the days leading up to it, waned when it showed, despite feeling a little hollow. I had expected it to be, so it all didn't add up to much.

Suppose now would be a good time to write something like that, but I'm not feeling like going there now either. Like one of those hot old bat supermodels said, aging is a privilege, not a right. So I try to remember to be woohoo about not living the alternative.

But the slow dying, it sure is noticeable now.


Daddio went to get the new tires today. Because it was gonna rain. Not sure how that makes a difference. Bro thought it did too though, so maybe I'm missing something.

We curtained up the car when he got back.

Oh wow. Daddio's next Vegas trip is a weeklong journey too.

I'll get two Sundays. Hmm, might be rough on the car. A glorious Thursday night epic jazzercise-and-dine session. A weekend.


I'm looking forward to that more than the Tahoe bonus week, actually. Which is very strange to write. I guess cause I'm still all glowy from the last one?

I don't know. My favorite online friend, we didn't chat much. She gets bored. Apparently I ain't fast enough for her liking. Oh well. I ain't heartbroke. It was tough to manage.

I met some others, but... egh, I'm not hankering to get back. Even if I had a day to myself tomorrow, I wouldn't be too excited about revisiting. Not even sure if it's them. They're alright. Egh, they do like things more eevil than I prefer. I gotta play the asshole. I play that role too much in real life, I says.

Not that I wouldn't mind, I suppose. Or wouldn't enjoy all the other sweet bonuses of another week of near pure alonetime. Just not that much of a priority need in my noggin at the moment.

Oh, if the John from last Thursday could see me now...


Lookin like I'm caring about my other crap that I gotta do a little more.

Figured out a way to avoid getting my ass kicked, I think. I'll "write up" a game. Find one somewhere, say it'll be the one we'll be usin for the final section. All the other sections need massive re-writes, I'll certainly remember I'll need to re-do that one too. Which was the plan anyway, only the re-writing part will come later.

Should find one anyway now. Will have to be able to explain it, just in case she wants to see it. Which she probably will. But that'll count for a whole lot of something, seeing a game run and all.

And hopefully I can adapt it to my own dealio beforehand. Just to feel better. I suppose I could just say that I found a game we could adapt and I've been busy understanding the damn thing. Better be long though.

Think I got it. Been wrestling with the tutorials. They're tough. I'm getting the gist. Will read some more of them too. Should be ok.

Pray for me again, dammit.

Your prayers, my voodoo. Unstoppable.

They're going away again. To Tahoe.

In less than two months.


Not that of course there aren't some complications. Daddio got a goddamn extra room AGAIN!

He's inviting his sister this time. Wroted up the letter today. Sigh. Doesn't look like it has much of a chance of being accepted. They did come out before though.

Hopefully if they decline this time he won't ask Bro, since it ain't Vegas. Perhaps my choking on my drink during the last asking will help avoid any need for more uncomfortable lies.


Feels a little weird that it panned out. I have been purposely steering away from being all bummed and agitated by the reestablishing of the status quo, but... well, it's a struggle. I have been constatnly steering away though.

The hours before I was at my lowest. Tough getting up. And when he came in with the typing assignment, I didn't handle it too well inside.

Hmm. Still steered back. Eventually.

Perhaps the freedomweeks have become negative thinkin-powered. Like, aw shit, I don't know how I'm gonna finish this thing, better fucking focus, BAM! here's another 8 days.

Sweet.

Dang, forgot about posting until it was a little too late to do so yesterday.

Didn't write.

Mom was on long in the morning. Which was expected. Even if she still went longer than figgered. Shot to hell.

Then Daddio got on in the afternoon when I was trying to get going to bust more stock trades. Man, it ain't stopping.


Today he scheduled more Vegastime. Had to grabass epic, since the site he had me go to for reservations, the text was microscopically unreadable. And turns out, AOL's browser doesn't let you have control font size. Geezus.

I could go into Explorer and manipulate it easy breezy, but didn't want to fire that up while he was sitting there staring. Keep the privacy.

Eventually I did when he left the room, but it didn't effect AOL at all. So I ended up going to another site looking for the same deal. Got a better one.

He's going away again next Sunday.

Still didn't write afterward.