Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Perspective

The past few months have been quite an adjustment in our house. I think Rob and I have done pretty well managing and balancing life, the apartment, work, church and two kids. However, some days (most) are exhausting. Most of the time, after the kids are bathed, 'pajamaized, read to, the house tidied and cleaned, Benjamin's gone his last potty trip for the night, its pretty much our bedtime as well. Some days I feel like I'm on burnout mode, especially since I have been dealing with all my kidney issues, rob having to work late to finish up his latest project, Rob being gone for a week for training in another state--- you get the picture. The other night I was talking to Rob and telling him that sometimes I feel like I am just getting through the motions because I am such a multi/task oriented-checklist kind of person. Sometimes I am so focused on what needs to get done, that I forget or miss the mark on what really matters. Lately I feel like I am missing out on enjoying my kids and my job of being a stay at home mom.

When I was a little girl my mom kept these journals for us. They weren't anything super fancy (as in scrap booking fancy), but they were priceless. They included pictures and journal entries about events in our life: milestones, performances, birthdays, little moments and stories from our childhood.
When Benjamin was born, I decided to do this for our kids as well. I wanted them to have a record of their early life together as a family. Since Vera's been born I haven't even touched them. But, today while both the kids were napping (thankfully Benjamin went down!) I pulled out the kids journals to work on.

In a way, it was therapeutic. It allowed me time to reflect on the past few months with my kids and my relationship with them. It allowed me time to "slow down" and really cherish those moments-- like watching Benjamin run to Vera's aide to gently rock her in her bouncer to calm her down. Or the excitement on Benjamin's face when Rob made Benjamin this awesome life size airplane with a spinning propeller out of cardboard boxes. Or the times when Benjamin tells me that he loves me. Or the times when Vera is upset and Benjamin tells her: Its ok, take my hand, mommy's here.
It allowed me time to remember why I have chosen to stay at home with my children, why I do really love them and why they mean the world to me. Its interesting, because I originally meant to make these journals for my children, but in reality, they are more for me. They help me remember the eternal perspective of my life and purpose on this earth, and that nothing else in this life matters more than my little family. It reminds me of why nothing else can produce the kind of joy that I experience as a mother.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Benj the Builder


Benjamin is growing up so fast and learning so many things. Its like since he’s been potty trained he has matured in so many ways. Benjamin right now is so interested in learning. Every day he constantly talks---- sometimes I can’t even understand what he is saying because he is talking so fast but often its about cars, planes, Thomas the engine, books we have read recently, numbers, letters, and what sound they make. Its like his mind has opened up and it just wants to be filled. I notice that he is also interested in routine, patterns, and rules. He also has started to sing songs. The other day I heard him singing Bob the builder. We never watch that show, so not to sure how he knows it. Anyway, its fun for me, because for so long he has been focused on his physical development and now he’s interested in more intellectual things.

I have been such a slacker since Vera’s been born and haven’t done much school time with him. However, now that he is older, and seems ready to learn more, I need to get my life in gear and take advantage of his eagerness to learn. So…. Right now I’m just gathering up lots of activities, information and games to help him learn new concepts. Anyway, I’m looking for an actually curriculum/textbook (to save on time), so if anyone has any suggestions I’m for it.




Anyway, Benjamin is so creative. HE amazes me. I love his imagination! It is incredible what he thinks of. Today while I was busy putting away dishes, Benjamin walks into the kitchen with this:

An tells me to “look at his airplane” he just made. Pretty good eh?

And... He wears the "Bob the builder hat" his cousin Isacc gave him everyday. In fact, he just got up from his nap and grabbed the hat to put it back on! What a funny little kid.


Sarah, this posts for you!

My sister asked for more pictures of Vera. So Sarah, here are some pictures of Vera.

Hard to believe she is almost 10 weeks old. She is a sweet little soul. She loves to watch and look at us. Whenever she gets excited about something, she kicks her legs. I love that she is trying to talk to us now. She stays awake longer during the day and has become more a competitor for attention. Watch out Benjamin!





Its funny, because Vera doesn't look exactly like me when I was a baby, but there is something about her eyes and looks that she gives that resembles me at this age. Especially in this picture here below.




Vera is starting to sleep through the night longer, about five to six hours! Yea for mommy and Daddy.


Daddy and V taking a well deserved nap!













Last Friday, Vera met her new cousin, Ren Bailey.
Ren and Vera are almost 7 weeks apart. We took some cute pictures of the two of them next to each other (I can’t upload them because they are on Robs phone right now). Vera looks massive next to Ren. In a couple of months, I am sure you won’t be able to tell a difference between them.


I am so grateful that my kids have cousins so close to their age. Its fun to see Benjamin play with his cousins here in Houston and to see what good friends they have become. Growing up I was very close to my cousins, especially Jackie and Mark. They lived 3 hours from us and we saw them often. Some of my fondest childhood memories are connected with them. We even had a secret club called the Cousins Club. Awesome times! Anyway, Even to this day I love all my cousins very much. I am so glad that my kids have cousins that are so close as well and hopefully they will all become very good friends!

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

A lesson in parenting

I have an awesome little boy! In fact both my kids are awesome. Benjamin is such a treat to have, and some days I feel a little guilty because as awesome as he is he is, I have a hard time with the terrible/terrific twos. Rob will be the first to admit to you that I have a harder time with Two year olds (more like the terrible two-ness when it comes out). Not that I don't like them, but they are a little more challenging and frustrating at times. On the flip side, they are also a lot of fun. To them The World is riveting,

This last week, I went to Half price bookstores and checked out some books on Behavior/parenting to help me recognize some of my parenting weaknesses and be a better parent to my kids. Granted, this also counts towards my professional Development stuff as well (Awesome how that works out).
Well, a lot of this stuff I already know from teaching school, however, it looks a lot different on your own kids. Also, just cause you know it, it doesn't mean you do it AND its never hurts to be reminded of what you should do.


Really what I have learned is that most, if not all, the behavior problems my kid has is basically my fault. Yep... sounds a little harsh, but really, it is my responsibility to teach my child appropriate behavior. Not by what I say, but what I do. Benjamin is a very smart, aware little boy and he does not know all the social cues and will misbehave just to know what the rules are. He looks to me to tell him to set boundries for him. When I do, we are all happy.



Not sitting at the table when eating


Benjamin loves to eat for about 5 mins at the table, and then get up walk around, and then come back to his food. Drives me crazy. First of all, its just bad manners. then second of all, food gets all over the floor and third of all, Dinner time is family time. So, we decided to tackle this issue since Rob & I are so sick of telling him to sit down at dinner. Then it dawned on me. I get up a couple of times during dinner to refill my water, get seconds, get a wipe for Benjamin, etc. You get the idea. Even though the reasons of why I am getting up are valid, Benjamin can’t see the difference between his behavior and min. All he see’s is me getting up every 10 mins or so.
So, we have started to have all the food and a jug of water on the table available so we don't have to get up during the meal. Rob and I have also made more of an effort to limit the times we get up (if we need to) and sit at the table until everyone is finished. Not Rocket science, but the difference in behavior is amazing. When it comes down to it, Benjamin was learning his lack of manners from us, so in a way, Benjamin is reminding us to be better people as well.
The Result? For the past 3 days Benjamin hasn't
left the table during eating times.







Running around Crazed in public places

A couple of weeks ago the four of us went to my Dr appointment. It was a nightmare. Benjamin was all over the place in the office and it was just a stressful event, plus I was feeling pretty crummy. Well, this is a common thing whenever we go out in public places and I was sick of dealing with it.

On Monday I had a Dr. appointment and I had to take both of the kids with me by myself. So anticipating the potential chaos I tried to plan accordingly. Thanks to the books I've been reading I was reminded of a lot of thing that I already knew but wasn't using. All this time I have forgotten to tell Benjamin my social expectations when we go to certain places and set boundaries for him.

This time around, as soon as we walked into the Dr. Office, I told Benjamin that he could not touch the phone or the Water machine. Of course those are the two things he was heading toward, and I had to remind him again. The whole wait he did not even touch them. You could tell he was tempted but he held his ground. He sat quietly playing with trucks in his chair and was super good. Then while my Dr. visit, I told him to sit in Benjamin's special chair while he colored, ate a few crackers and played with cars. He was perfect.
Again, his behavior problems were because of my lack of preparing him for what to expect. We had a great rest of the day. (Because I was not stressed and nagging him during &after the Dr visit, which can sometimes set a bad tone for the rest of the day)

Some other things I've realized:


- I've been giving him to many choices. A few are fine, but not when it comes to things like: Orange shows buzz lighter shoes or fire truck shoes. Instead I just need to say: time to get your shoes on

- I've been, as one author put it, "bargaining" with him. Bad. Lately I have been saying things like: If you get your shoes on then we can go to the park. Or if you do this then you can have a cookie. Really what I needed to be saying was: When you put your shoes on, then we will go to the park. Since I have been doing this, it has made a world of difference.

- I always need to think ahead of what things I need to cue Benjamin in on. Example, before we get to the parking garage, prep him for it. Tell him he needs to hold my hand while we are in the parking garage because there are cars that might not see him. Result? Did not throw a fit about holding my hand. Instead listened and was happy about it.

- Prevention! Prevent potential behavioral problems from happening. (ex: remove the breakable vase from the table).

- The less I have to nag/discipline him, the more responsive he is when I do have to be firm.



With Benjamin I am realizing how amazingly obedient and good he really is. That he really will listen 95% of the time when I ask him to do something. Its just
depends on if I prep him right for each situation.

Thursday, September 9, 2010

This week...

This week the kids and I have all been sick. Hopefully we will be all on the mend soon. I feel like we have been to the Doctor way to much the past 6 months or so-- and I am crossing my fingers that once I get through this cold and all my kidney stone surgeries that I will not have to go to Doctor for a very long time. Usually I never am the one that is sick, but lately that's not the case.


Over the Weekend.
Last weekend Rob and I (and vera) went to the Rice and UT football game--- compliments of his company, BHP. They have a box and invite the rice alumni to any rice games, so of course Rob and I jumped at the chance to see a college football game.


Sunday night we had some friends over for dinner. It was fun to do that, since we have been the worst friends ever, and not have had people over for what seems like years. We are trying to be better about that, especially since things are less crazy in our house.

Vera Is 2 months old



Vera is 8 weeks old now. I still can't believe it. She has grown so much. She had to visit the Dr yesterday because she had a fever and apparently she has a virus. Poor thing. Rob said that the nurses had a hard time getting blood from her, and that it was a messy affair and she was quite upset. She weighs 11 lbs now! Which is almost double her birth weight. Vera is super alert and loves to smile at us. She is also way less fussy! Hallelujah!I think what most of her problem was that she was swallowing a ton of air when she was feeding which caused her a ton of tummy troubles. Now she is a pro, and hardly gulps air. It makes our life so much easier. She is also sleeping in longer stretches, about 4-5 hours, which feels awesome for mommy and daddy.



Benjamin and daddy

A couple of weekends ago, Rob bought a bike seat for Benjamin. We both had one as a kid and both have fond memories of riding with our dads in the back of their bikes. Benjamin loves his Bike seat and helmet! Rob and Benjamin have already used it a lot, and like to bike to the park or around the neighborhood.




Benjamin has also been having a lot of fun with cardboard boxes lately. I love how creative he is with random things!






Benjamin Helping Daddy take care of Vera

When I had my kidney stuff, I couldn't feed Vera because of the pain medication... so benjamin loved to help feed vera a bottle :)


Wednesday, September 1, 2010

MockingJay

*ok, not like I have a ton of time to kill... but I am a little disappointed in how many people have responded Negatively to the final book of hunger games. So, I wanted to give my 2 cents about it.(I've read a lot of blog comments/reviews about it lately)Its ok if you didn't like it, but I just wanted to state publicly what I liked about it, since I haven't seen a lot of people post positive things about it.

* I will try to convey my thoughts without any spoilers. But if you want to be utterly surprised… than don’t read this post.




Personally, when I was done reading it, my first initial reaction was mixed. I wasn’t too sure about how I really felt about it. But after re-reading some parts, and further reflection, I would have to say this is an epic book for Young Adult Fiction.

Granted I like Dystopia stories (the giver, animal farm, etc). They Fascinate me. I love how they force us to reflect on our own society, our relationship with others our responsibilities as human beings and How they force us to question who we really are.

This novel, first of all was not primarily about a love triangle, and If I hear it compared to twilight, I think I’ll barff, because they are not the same kind of stories AT ALL (other than both being Young Adult books). I know we all LOVE a good love triangle, and as exciting as it was in this novel, that's not what this story was about (don't be fooled... I loved the love triangle part). This book was not exclusively about Katniss. It’s really about the society of Panem and it is told through one character, Katiniss.

I love that Suzanne Collins wrote it in first person. Although there are some disadvantages to writing in first person--- such as having limited perspective and information (which can be felt in the third book). However, I think that it was a brilliant method to tell this story and convey her message.

Recently,I read in an interview with suzzane Collins, that she said the last book is what the meat/message of the whole trilogy.

I love that she is encouraging young readers (and us) to think for themselves, to question everything--- what is real and what is not. I love that she forces us to realize how awful war is first hand through Katniss's character. She makes us even hate it--- and if you felt a little depressed at the end, then I think you know what I am talking about!

I love how she communicates How people are never the same after war. I love that she makes us ("slap in the face kind of way")realize that often those who fight on the front lines and the most effected traumatically by war are often the forgotten ones when all is said and done. She reminds us How unglamorous war is… how slow and boring it can be. She makes us consider The role of media, and its influence. I love that she shows The effects of violence on all people.

I could go on and on about how clever she is in communicating her message with her subtext. How our society is so very much Panem in many ways—we love violence for entertainment and fail to see how desensitized we have become to it. Etc.

But alas, I do not have all the time in the world to write a review that would even justify this story. However, I do think this book is epic and one worth reading, re-reading and talking about for a long time.
Maybe some day I can write a review that gives this book justice. Anyway, to sum it up--- I loved it, in a depressing kind of way ☺

Benjamin



Its amazing how quickly they grow!Everyday I still can't believe how old he is getting. Its hard to see that little baby in him. Its hard to believe that last summer he was this little toddler. Now, he is such a big boy! I love having him around. He is a lot of work. He has so much energy, and sometimes I think he will never learn to control himself. I see a lot of me in him when I was that age. I still can remember doing things... the same things he does now. Oh well, I turned out ok I guess. I just hope I can do as good of job as my mom did. Despite his out of control energy (which is not bad at all, I just hope someday he will be able to channel it), he is such a sweet sweet kind little boy. The past couple of days I have not felt well at all (thanks to lack of sleep, a kidney stone attack--- that sent me to the ER couple of days ago & I have to have out patient surgery tomorrow for it). Benjamin is very in-tune to others. Its second nature for him to come and give someone a hug, or to be kind. Yesterday, he ran and gave me this huge hug. A week ago he told me that that he loved me and baby sister. I hope that he never changes--- and I hope that he never loses his energy and enthusiasm for life.

The kids





Just look at his face... you can tell he just did something to make his sister cry.







Thankfully, he is usually playing nice, and giving her lots of love and attention!

6 weeks today!





Its hard to believe that I had Vera 6 weeks ago today! Its amazing how quickly and how slowly time seems to move. Vera is getting out of that newborn look, and I think she is starting to get cute!

We love having her around. Its amazing how different she is than Benjamin was---In every way! They are their own little person, that is for sure. I love how she loves to be held, all the time. I love her little sounds and coo's--- even if most of the time its because she is upset, but I still love it! I love that she won't fall asleep at night unless she is cuddled up to one of us. I love her dark brown eyes. I love that she is starting to smile at us. I love how patient she is with benjamin...





Bath time

Vera seems to enjoy bath time. Here are some pictures of her splashing around






On a side note:
Vera doesn't look anything like me as a baby, but yet she seemed to inherit the same hair line (the fryer tuck look) that I had as a newborn. Hopefully our little baldy locks will grow some on top soon. At least she has a nice head shape :)












Being the second child, they always seem to have fewer pictures than the first. I will try to resolve this, so hopefully she will have some decent pictures for her baby book!