No Country For Old Cats

MJ Cat meditates on the meaning of life, death and "home" as he is being hunted by the evil HW Dog.

Things I Hate 2007

It is that time of the year when I list all the things I hated in 2007.
1. When people I love die way before their time.
2. When people stop to tell me shoe is untied.
3. The use of the word "meh" to describe a mediocre emotion.
4. Having to enter a special code to post a comment on a blog.
5. The small wrinkles that are starting to form around the corner of my eyes.
6. The crazy BAFTA rsvp system
7. When people call sandwiches "sammies." If you are an adult, speak proper English.
8. Twentysomethings who think they can go from an entry-level job to becoming a VP in 3 months. Pay your dues, kids.
9. I hate when Max (my cat) purrs in my face at 4AM.
10. Guilt trips
11. People who think that the hours they stay in the office qualifies the work they perform. Depriving themselves of sleep, social lives and/or being a responsibile parent does not make an ideal corporate citizen.
12. This fucking pain that has developed in my left hip.
13. Not having a doorman
14. People who think text messaging counts as an actual conversation
15. Annual reviews
16. Going to the ER alone in the middle of the night
17. Pokes on Facebook. I don't get the point.
18. Going to the dentist
19. Airport delays
20. Hot dressing rooms.
21. When my friends have affairs with married men.
22. Tourists who stop in the middle of the sidewalk
23. The fact that airlines don't offer you anything to eat anymore
24. Talentless sisters trying to capitalize off the fame of their older siblings ala Jamie Lynn Spears and that Lohan sister.
25. mayo
26. ketchup
27. cheese
28. relish
29. My CVS pharmacist.
30. Men who don't have their shit together over the age of 35.
31. Pet abuse
32. Breakfast meetings
33. The new woman at my nail salon
34. George Bush
35. Allergies
36. When something new breaks right after I buy it.
37. The WGA strike!
38. The Hills
39. When Todd gets mad at me because I don't want to get up early to go to brunch. He's known me for over 10 years and we've NEVER had brunch so I don't know why he gets disappointed.

Best Films of 2007

Now that BAFTA season is officially over, I'm free to list my top 10 films of the year. This year was an amazing year for film and I'm hoping that the Writer's Strike ends so I can enjoy all the award shows! For the record, the worst film I saw this year was El Cantante.

1. There Will Be Blood
When I told PT Anderson that this film was "Citizen Kane good", he said that was the ultimate compliment. Plus, it stars Daniel Day Lewis as Daniel Plainview in this year's best role to do impressions of ala Billy Bob Thorton in Sling Blade. Seriously, it's an amazing film with an amazing performance by Daniel Day Lewis, a drop-dead score and the most audacious first fifteen minutes of a film I've seen in a very long time. It's the perfect film to come out at the end of the Bush presidency. I can't stop talking about it with Todd. Plus, when that oil well blows, I almost fell out of my seat.
2. I'm Not There
First of all, I'm a big fan of Bob Dylan. I've seen both DA Pennebaker's Don't Look Back documentary and Scorcese's No Direction Home and the only box set I've ever purchased was that of Bob Dylan. And, I read Dylan's own autobiography Chronicles. And, if I didn't have any background in Dylan, I probably wouldn't know what the hell was going on this film with six different actors playing different constructs of the public perception of Bob Dylan. What I do know is that Todd Haynes is an amazing director. Again, he deconstructs film genre as he did in Far From Heaven and the cult of personality as he did in Superstar and Velvet Goldmine. And, he totally deconstructs documentary film "narrative" in a fictional film. Plus, it's clear that Todd Haynes truly loves music. It's a Cinema Studies graduate's perfect kind of film to analyze and watch over and over again. Finally, Cate Blanchett totally blew my mind playing the best Bob Dylan ever.
3. No Country for Old Men
This film was number one my list until I saw the two above. It's a fabulous horror film with Javier Bardem playing the scariest villain since Hannibal Lechter.
4. The Diving Bell and the Butterfly
I loved this inspirational, funny and yet tragic film about the former editor of French Elle who becomes paralyzed into "locked in" syndrome and writes his biography by blinking one eye. I know this sounds crazy but you have to see this!
5. The Namesake
Mira Nair is an amazing filmmaker. I cried at the end. It's just as good as the book and I immediately went for Indian food after leaving the theater.
6. Before the Devil Knows Your Dead
This is just good old fashioned cinematic story telling at it's best. Ethan Hawke makes a comeback in this year's most underrated performance.
7. Darjeerling Limited
I'm a big fan of Wes Anderson. I found this film funny, moving and representing the current GenX sentiment. I also really want that luggage! I also bought the soundtrack.
8. Eastern Promises
I saw this film three times in the theater due to my love of Viggo. The bathhouse scene is fantastic. This was really the most entertaining film of the year. Cronenberg keeps getting better and better.
9. Zodiac
All year long, I've been telling everyone how awesome and enthralling this film was which was released early in the year about the Zodiac Killer. The film's length, rhythm and style all perfectly reflects the mystery.
10. Things We Lost in the Fire
I was deeply affected about this film about grief and addiction. Benicio del Toro is again amazing in this one. I cried all the way home.

My New Film

I skipped BAFTA and OSCARS tonight to experiment with my new Flip. Here's the result.

Bollywood Thriller

Father on Flickr

Nothing scarier than finding your father tagged on flickr looking thrilled to be at his 45th high school reunion. See how he looks like Frances Ford? Now, you can see where I get 1/2 my good looks from!

del Barco Sighting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Life is strange. Tonight, I walked into the downtown Bloomingdales and the first person I see standing closest to the door in front of the Dior counter, is Andy del Barco pushing a baby stroller! He looked the same and was immediately recognizable. I was flustered, considering the last post I wrote on this blog was about him. I told him that I was just writing about him, and became slightly flustered because I was a little freaked out about the coincidence, and clearly, had no idea what the hell I was talking about.

I was going to take his photo but he didn't want me to but I did get his email address. Since Tim died, I've been feeling that the plot of life just doesn't make sense anymore. Everything that has happened to me since June has just been a series of quick images and nonlinear events. Yet, somehow, this coincidental siting puts my faith back into the meaning of life. While someone (perhaps trivial) from my past, Andy represents the optimism I once had when I first came to NYC in 1992. Perhaps seeing Andy with his beautiful family shopping in Bloomies is some kind of sign that my life has some kind of plot and meaningful future.

Andy Del Barco Update

Back in the late 90s, I posted my first web page which was a page dedicated to one of my first friends I made in NYC. His name was Andy DelBarco and he worked in the Visitor Services Department with me at the Museum of Television and Radio during the summer of 1992. Before I became a corporate nerd, I often used to run into DelBarco in the East Village and in the NYC art scene. Then, I forgot about him until today, thanks to the magic of Google another old friend of DelBarco sent me an email that he was also looking for him. He also sent me some fabulous still of Andy circa 1984. So, Andy if you Google your name and find yourself here, email me. People need an update!

Youth Without Youth Premiere

At certain times in my life, I realize that great experiences and opportunities that are available to me as I live in NYC. Tonight I was invited to attend the premiere of Francis Ford Coppola's first film in 10 years Youth Without Youth at the Paris Theater. As I sat in the same row as the Godfather himself, I have to confess, I felt a little starstruck. While the movie was no Apocalypse Now, I did feel Coppola was channeling his inner Lynch. I can't really explain the plot except two people get struck by lightening and then some funky stuff happens to their bodies and souls and people start speaking in Sanskrit, grow second sets of teeth and have doppelgangers following them around. Oh, and they are running from the Nazis and dreaming of Shiva. I don't think this film will be as successful as his last vintage, but as a Cinema Studies graduate, I feel a little more complete having sat in a theater with FFC himself which was kind of like the time I saw Steven Spielberg power walking in East Hampton.

The One Macy's Friends and Family Cast

BEWARE OF THE BABYLON is live on tape from
the Macy*s Friends and Family sale...
Join us for a brand new show featuring:

* An all-star blogger Macy*s gathering featuring Perez Hilton, Trent Vargas, Arianna Huffington, Todd and Rachel.

* Todd's deceptively delicious brownie revelation.

* Rachel's latest shit-your-pants movie review.

* Gossip Girl and other Government conspiracies.

* Fool proof tips on holiday regifting.

* Another trip to the scariest place at Christmastime - Santaland

As alway, this and every BEWARE OF THE BABYLON podcast can be automatically downloaded from iTunes.

Joan Van Ark or Madame?

A Spice Girls Xmas

I don't know where my closest Tesco is, but I sure want to buy some pudding there thanks to the Spice Girls!

My Meat Plate

Please behold one of my best holiday meat plates EVER!

The Savages Review

Last night, I saw the new film The Savages. I can't say it was the greatest movie I saw this year, but it has stayed with me today. The movie stars Laura Linney and Philip Seymour Hoffman as siblings who have to put their father into a nursing home. The thing is, neither sibling really had a relationship with their father who abandonded them and are torn between emotions of obligation, loss and guilt. Laura Linney's character is a neurotic self-obsessed survivor living in New York with her cat. (I kind of related to her.) PSH plays a drama professor living in Buffalo who can't commit to his Polish girlfriend. Both performances were amazing, and the script had some killer dialogue such as, "This isn't therapy. This is real life." There is also a hilarious exchange where the siblings equate their father's situation to the Emergency Alert system determining that their father's situation is in "yellow" status. Yet, as I watched the film, I kept thinking about how every year my family argues about going to the Lancaster Outlet malls on Black Friday. I used to enjoy the outlets, but now the outlets don't sell outlet clothes. They just sell cheap crap that is manufactured for the outlets and while I can find something good sometimes, I don't enjoy the experience as much as I used to ten years ago. The Banana Republic outlet sells last season's styles replicated in cheap single ply fabrics. I'd prefer to do my discount shopping at H&M and Target where the bargains are genuine and not pretending to be something they are not. Somehow, I always still wind up on the outlet trip, despite my better judgement. Inevitably, I always get really cranky at the outlets and this results in a family fight where we yell at and insult each other's life choices, fashion sense and finally, each other's weight. Jabs can include everything from "Why are you so angry?" to "I hate you" to "Well, since you put on weight...." And, I'm always the bad guy because I didn't want to go to the fucking outlets in the god damned first place. After the outlet trip, The Savages drama seemed slightly obvious and trivial to me. I think my family status is in Orange.

Dancing with the Stars

I admit that I am not watching The Dancing With the Stars finale. And, now that Marie Osmond is voted off, I don't care who wins. It's not that Marie deserved to win, but she tried so damned hard that I kind of wanted her to take the "glory."

Pissed

OK, I've been really pissed off since I had to drag my ass to the ER by myself a week ago in the middle of the night. Going to the ER alone is a very sad and lonely experience. You face your death and realize that nobody is present to even share your last moments with you.

Plus, I'm mad at someone else, but I'm too mad to talk about it right now. I don't like feeling this angry. It's not attractive.

Talking Cats

OK, this is the cutest thing I've seen in awhile.

Barely Breathing

So, last night my peak flow went below 200 at around 1:30AM so I had to haul my ass over to St. Vincent's ER. Let me tell you, there is nothing worse than going BY YOURSELF to the ER in the middle of the night. They admitted me immediately and hooked me up to the nebulizer pronto. My bed was between one drunk guy vomitting and another guy getting a catheter who didn't speak English. I felt like the supermodel of patients. Also, there was no McDreamy or McSteamy or Dr. Ross present. Now, I'm home and breathing and realizing I don't want to die alone.

The Bachelor

OK, I'm sick AGAIN with a cold and I'm watching The Bachelor and this Austin asshole Brad is actually not picking EITHER woman. I mean this is the fucking Bachelor and I'm wasting two hours of my life to see this asshat actually choose someone and instead it's like real life and not what "reality tv" is supposed to be. It's full of confusion, false promises and "grey" matter. I could write about my own life, but you could just watch the series finale of the Bachelor instead and I'll spare you the drama.

Writer's Strike Late Night Break

It may be the writer's strike, but that doesn't mean you can't go back in time (thanks to YouTube) and watch some of the greatest moments in TV history.

Warning: If you are a homosexual male, you may spontaneously combust when you watch this clip.