Fantasy Payday Shopping

There wasn't anything much out there that captured my imagination last payday, so I skipped this. But there were a couple things that caused that covetous little glint in my eye lately, so I thought I'd share.

The PC EZ Bake Oven - Could make those late-night crunches bearable if you can whip up a little snack without even leaving your desk!

The New Shelby Cobra GT500 - What better machine to tool around in as spring hits its stride? You have to click on the link to see the pictures in a pop-up, but it's worth it.

Eleven on Top - The upcoming novel from Janet Evanovich, who is one of my favorite authors, not to mention one of the very, very few whose books I will actually shell out for in hardback. Every book in the Stephanie Plum series is a hoot and I am always looking forward to the next one.

Google Gulp - This latest "must have" from those wacky guys over at Google is truly in the realm of fantasy, seeing as how you can't even buy it. (My favorite part is really the "Frequently asked questions," but maybe you have to deal with them as often as I do to really appreciate them.) If anyone scores a Glutamate Grape, can I have it? In case you hadn't noticed, I really like purple -- I'll trade you a couple dozen Gmail invites for it...

Have a lovely Friday and welcome to April.

"It's a race, Phil."

That's what last night's Amazing Race came down to for me: Did Rob and Amber do the "wrong" thing by not stopping when the brothers crashed, whereas Lynn and Alex claimed to have done the "right" thing by stopping?

Oh, sure, there were lots of other highlights and moments in all two hours of the double episode -- from the low of seeing Ray and Deanna come in first and win a pair of cars and the high of seeing them later eliminated, and the sheer grit of the otherwise-often-annoying Gretchen continuing on after taking a header in a cave and then being stripped of all possessions -- but the crash debate was definitely the lingering aftertaste for me.

Ol' Phil even decided to sow a bit of his Jeff Probstian oats and pointedly asked Rob at the Pit Stop about seeing the crash but passing by. making his distaste obvious in the doing -- I guess if your show wins a few Emmys, you can accelerate the timeline for inserting yourself more into that show.

There's still no recap up over at TVgasm yet, so if you missed the episode I imagine much of this won't be terribly meaningful for you, but if you're watching in general, I think you can relate. As I've mentioned before, I feel people are either for Rob and Amber or against them. I have to imagine that the thoughts on the crash will fall along similar lines.

My opinion: It is a race. There were no bodies laying in the road for them to run over and no one waved them down. You can't tell me that, had that been the case, they still wouldn't have stopped. Lynn and Alex may have been crowing about being "people first and Racers second," but they made a choice. The brothers told them to go on and they chose not to do so. They are so consumed with jealousy over Rob and Amber's celebrity that I think they made a point of staying just to be able to rub it in.

The only other observation I have to make is that, while I haven't disliked the brothers at all, I found myself liking them a lot more than before after these legs of the Race. I still can't tell them at all apart, but I definitely got a better appreciation of them and their relationship last night.

Oh, and did I mention how overjoyed I am to see that prick Ray (and his sucky, bossy, misogynistic attitude) gone from the Race?

That road

You know, that road...the one paved with good intentions? Yeah, that one. It's a one-way road, you know, and so thick with litter that ol' Oscar the Grouch would be right at home.

I had good intentions last night. I watched Amazing Race and actually had a few things in mind to post. But I was thwarted! Thwarted, I say, by none other than Blogger.

When I went to try to condense my thoughts on two hours of viewing into something that wouldn't put you to sleep, Blogger had other ideas. I couldn't even get to their home page. I don't know what was up, but I know it went on for a while. I eventually realized that it simply wasn't going to work and called it a night.

I really can't complain about Blogger; I know they're not the best, but I have had so few problems with them over the last year that, on the whole, it has been a happy relationship. I can give them this one. I don't really believe in "signs" all that much, but I know when I'm up against something bigger than me and this was one of those times.

So, while I'm not entirely thrilled with the ongoing "CBS has put the fix in for Rob and Amber" conspiracy theory being perpetuated in the recaps at TVgasm, I would direct you there (to read the post that I'm sure will be up soon), until such time as I can get to my own would-be post from last night.

It's not you, it's me.

No, really, it's nothing that you've done. I know, I know. I'm not writing, I'm not reading, I'm not commenting. I can't really explain it, but it's nothing you've done. No, it's me. I don't know what it is, to tell you the truth. You're great, really, you are. It's me, I'm just not feeling it; I...I...I need a little space. Call it a break. Don't get me wrong, there's no one else, maybe I just need a little time apart to remember how wonderful you are. Trust me, baby, it'll all be so much better.

(If anyone had any traumatic relationship flashbacks in the last minute, my apologies. Amazing Race should snap me back into it. Maybe it is that damned gnome after all...)

Wanted:

Inspiration. If you know where I left it, please let me know. Small reward possible. Have a nice Friday.

Here comes Peter Mallowtail, hopping down the candy trail.

In case you haven't been paying attention, Easter comes around very early this year. Yes, we're only days away from another visit by the Easter Bunny.

Want to do something special for your baskets this year? Did you know you could eschew the mundane and not merely buy the ultimate Easter candy all pre-packaged and perfect and shiny?

Thanks to the fine folks at Wham-o, now you can make your own Peeps!



And because you're going to have so much fun and success in making them (but note the coupon in the box for the maker, just in case you, um, don't), you can also buy refill packages.



I'm not going to go out of my way to find one, but it definitely sounds like a good follow-up to the Great Cotton Candy Experiment to me. (Pictures aren't working on that post, sorry. They've disappeared.) Does anyone else feel that something is missing without their little stamped-on faces, though?

I've noticed that Peeps are huge this year. Not only are the candy cuties out in force at the stores, but they now also have a line of Peeps Easter baskets, a selection of stuffed plush Peeps toys, and a bunch of other stuff. And if all this is getting you as giddy as I am at the mere idea, you can even join the Peeps Fan Club! But if that's going a little too far, you could just send one of their e-cards to the Peeps fan in your life. (Rita, please pretend you didn't read that and act surprised when you get one from me, okay?)

Well, I feel that my Easter preparedness work here is done. Go forth and Peep!

Phil, would you mind pointing in the direction from which the Racers will be arriving...again?

Oh, Amazing Race, how you do make my week!

Tonight's episode had almost all the elements of a perfect show: drama; tension; humor; beautiful scenery; taxi mishaps; boating mishaps; balky horses; sulky gay youth; plucky and goofy elders; one arrogant prick (sorry if you don't like the word, but that's what Ray is); one near-weepy wife of said prick; lots of baby and honey use; despair; and joy!

And those that it didn't have are in next week's two-hour show! It's almost too much excitement for little recovering me to bear.

Yes, I'm feeling significantly better (thanks), but the stuff I'm taking to help me get through the night without waking up coughing -- I hope! -- has made a little more sleepy than usual at this point. So for the details, I am, predictably, going to point you in the direction of TVgasm for the full recap. (Tip: Don't drink anything while you're reading it. Your keyboard will thank you. I speak from experience.)

Here are My Moments:

Most useless statement -- either Lynn or Alex saying "My shoes are getting wet!" as their rubber dingy takes on water before dying completely.

Best "too much information" statement -- Patrick declaring "My crotch hurts," after completing the Detour on a horse. (But of course he didn't complete it without having a little session of bitching at his mom.)

Second-best comeuppance -- Ray having to settle for a next-to-last-place finish, when he spent the whole show bitching about not belonging down with the "bottom-feeders" and weak teams, and how he wouldn't allow it. I sincerely hope he and his burned, red, peeling, jerky nose are eliminated next.

Worst missed opportunity -- my deciding not to count "babies" and "honeys" this time around, since this episode was chock full of them. The things I did decide to keep track of were a complete bust.

Best poking fun at oneself -- Rob declaring, "[It's] like I was born with a horseshoe...right up my ass!" when talking about his luck. I will also give the Sweetest moment to Rob, for giving his beloved Boston Red Sox cap to the driver of their rubber dinghy for performing beyond the call of duty.

THE best comeuppance...EVER -- The instantaneous wiping of smirks off the faces of the four lead teams when Rob and Amber got on the earlier flight at the very last moment, after their spending an inordinate amount of time crowing about the Survivor pair being left behind. THAT was classic Amazing Race.

Best re-use of a joke from a prior AR7 post -- Bad news for Rob and Amber as the first team to arrive at the Pitstop and winning yet another trip from Travelocity: They're stuck with the gnome for that much longer! (At least I amuse myself.)

Random thoughts randomly presented

I am still sick. I spent the weekend sick. I went home early sick. I spent many hours at the doctor's today because I am sick. I mention this not in a bid for sympathy, but to give you the full picture of why I have so little of interest to say...again.

Because my focus has been so narrow for days --cough, cough, gag, cough, watch TV, sleep, eat, cough, repeat -- there are only a few things on my mind. And, as much as I have tried to come up with something to say apart from those things, it's no use. So, in no particular order, here are the top three things uppermost in my mind.

1. The Terri Schiavo situation. It's no longer just a "case," thanks to Congress, so I think "situation" is the best way to describe it. I think I made my position on it fairly clear in an earlier post, and I'm not interested in debating the matter.

There are only a couple of additional thoughts about it I want to share at this point:

A. If this does not spark a national movement, whether publicly or just individually, to get all adults to either make a living will or make sure all the relevant people in their lives know, without question, their wishes on the subject of "end of life" decisions, it will be a complete disgrace for our country.

B. I really, truly and sincerely hope that those of you who support the actions Congress has taken -- which I personally find ill-advised, hypocritical, dangerous and inappropriate in the extreme -- never, ever have reason to regret this slide down a very slippery slope in their own lives. The door has been opened, people. And, like Pandora's box, I don't think we'll be happy with the results.

2. The Retail Alphabet Game. I'm obsessed. I have gotten 17 out of the 26 in the 4th Edition since I linked it on Friday, and you would not believe the amount of time I have spent actually watching commercials and looking at signs along the road trying to identify those last two. "A" is making me nuts because I know I know it, but I just can't "see" it. Anyone want to help a sick chick out?

3. Playing Phlinx. I can't explain why I find this game so fascinating, but I do. I can, however, tell you why I've been playing a lot lately -- the current $3,500+ jackpot up for grabs. The coolest part about it is that it's not timed, so you can play a little, do something else (like blog), go back and play some more, without losing anything. That might explain why it took twice as long as usual to complete this.

A Little Weekend Game

There was a young woman of the west,
Who really wasn't feeling her best.
Not wishing to be (totally) lame,
She provided this interesting game,
Only half the answers to which she has guessed.

Erin Go Blagh!

Happy St. Patrick's Day, everyone!

I'm too full from all the traditional corned beef, cabbage, carrots, potatoes, my mom's fantastic Irish soda bread, and S'mores pie (okay, that one's not traditional, but it sure was good) to sit here and "blagh"* without falling asleep.

Does corned beef have tryptophan like turkey? Sure feels like it at the moment.

Feel free to share your St. Patty's Day highlights...or lowlights if you hit the green beer a little too hard.

*Word stolen from Norman, without remorse.

Late-night musings

Boy, do I wish I had something of interest to say right now.

I could tell you how annoying I'm finding David Letterman tonight. His first guest is Amanda Peet and, while I think she's a decent enough actress, she is not the amazing talent he is making her out to be. If he wanted her number or a date, he should have just asked -- ten minutes of his fawning was just nauseating.

But I imagine that 99% of you aren't up this late so you can't really appreciate what an ass he is making of himself. And that's coming from someone who likes him and was a major fan of his back in college and a number of years following that.

I could tell you how much I am enjoying the show after Letterman, The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson, these days. He's the guy who took over when Craig Kilborn left, and who used to play Mr. Wick on The Drew Carey Show. It was quite a surprise the first time I saw him on this show and realized that he's Scottish, not British, and has an accent that...um...well, to be honest, makes my knees go a little watery.

It runs too late even for me, though, so I have to TiVo it and see the second half later. But I'm seeing enough to affect my dreams, since it's the last thing I hear before falling asleep.

Last week they showed an interview with Minnie Driver, who I happen to really enjoy as an actress, and that night I had a terrifically vivid dream wherein she and I were the best of friends tangled up in some sort of drama that involved tears and intrigue.

A few nights later Samuel L. Jackson was the first guest and he was quite entertaining. That night he appeared in an even more vivid dream with even more intrigue and a whole lot more, um, interpersonal relations. (A surprisingly great kisser, in case you were wondering.)

Then, last night Drew Carey was the first guest. Thankfully I did not have a vivid dream about him. No, I skipped to the head of the line and my dream starred Craig Ferguson himself. Don't really remember what the "plot" was but I can tell you that he's a great...guy.

But you don't really want to hear all about any of that, do you? Nah, didn't think so.

"Do you want a mint?"

The title is the memorable quote from Joyce in tonight's episode of The Amazing Race, following the most disgusting Roadblock...ever. If I'm not mistaken, it's the first memorable thing she has said since the start.

The title was going to be a quote from Gretchen...or is it Meredith? Damned if I can keep 'em straight. No, it was Gretchen, the woman who has trouble not verbally expressing every emotion she's experiencing. That's according to her, mind you. But, in the most disturbing instance of "mental image we didn't need," she claims that, for putting up with this tendency, she makes it up to her husband in others ways. The moment's pause that the producers inserted after this statement told me that it was more information than they needed, as well.

I enjoyed this leg of the race but, apart from that disgusting Roadblock, there weren't a whole lot of highlights. The Roadblock from hell involved eating four pounds of cow parts, from ribs to intestines to saliva glands. Yee-uck. I mean, I love food, but I don't know if I could eat four pounds of something I adore, let alone four pounds of what I will kindly call a "feast of culturally diverse cuisine" from deep in Argentina.

It was a memorable challenge because so many teams decided to take a penalty instead of completing it, led without apology by Rob, who managed to turn it into a strategy that paid off for the team. Even with a four-hour penalty, he and Amber came in fifth...and minus four pounds of cow parts. In fact, all of the teams who elected to not to complete the task made it through to the next leg.

In a squeaker of an ending, the suddenly hapless navigating team of Debbie and Bianca were eliminated, beaten to the mat by the suddenly squabbling (and equally navigation-challenged) mom and son team of Susan and Patrick. I wasn't the biggest fan of Debbie and Bianca, as I found their constant cooing at each other somewhat annoying, but I did have to admire the way Debbie chowed down the "feast" to make it close, after having fallen so far behind.

If anyone was wondering, there were again a mere two lame Survivor references this episode. It's funny to me, because Rob and Amber being "the Survivor couple" is an omnipresent factor -- and apparently enough for almost all the other teams to be looking for a chance to Yield them. The thing is, the other teams are going to have to actually get to the Yields first in order to do that, and I don't think Rob and Amber are going to make that an easy task.

Before I sign off I'd like to say two non-AR7-related things: 1) Thank you to all of you who expressed your kind sympathy over the death of my friend; and 2) I hate March Madness. Every year it comes around, dominates the sports report with stuff I really don't care about and messes with the regular airing of Survivor. Grrr. If you're watching, it's on tomorrow instead of Thursday.

Mournful Monday

I promise, not another week of alliterative titles. But today it fits.

The death of a friend yesterday leaves me unable to come up with anything lighthearted to write here. When left to think for any length of time, I am swamped by sadness at the loss of a lovely woman who had so much of her personality stolen by illness toward the end of her life. I missed her already because of that, but knowing that she's really gone leaves me so hollow.

So I'm going to go use the time I would normally spend here writing to go sit, have some popcorn and think about some nice memories. Like how she was always so happy to see me, and how that smile made me feel so good. Like the last time that she and I spent time together before she began her decline and the little adventure we went on. And, on an entirely selfish note, how she was the one person I could count on to tell me I was beautiful when I really needed to hear it.

I miss you, Alice. And I hope that, if there is Heaven, you're as happy to be there with Ed Sr. as I am sorry to see you go there.

Thoughts from the morning after

Well, that was quite a party!

Thanks again to all the people who came by and said hi from Michele's -- it was a pleasure to have you. There were so many offers of spoons and even one proposal. (Tammy, as tempting as that is, I have to decline. Your hubby sounds like a good guy and I wouldn't want him braving it up there in the cold all by himself!)

I hope those who were here for the first time will stop by again soon...and that those of you who have been by before won't be so shy now that you've broken the ice! I'm looking forward to stopping by to visit each of you throughout the weekend.

Having so many new people come by, on top of a couple of discussions over the last few days about maintaining privacy on blogs, made me think about what people might learn about me from reading here. The best answer I could come up with is "A lot and not much at all."

It is accurate to say that I'm a pretty private person in general, not just here. You'll notice that there's no "About me" or "100 Things" list -- I have nothing against them, they're just not my style. But at the same time, everything I write is a little piece of who I am...and who I'm not. Because, in my typically perverse way, I think knowing who someone is not can be as telling as knowing who they are.

So, instead of telling you things about who I am, I am presenting -- for better or for worse -- a list of ten things I am not and will never be, in no particular order.

I will never be:
10. Ghetto-fabulous.
9. Someone kept alive by artificial means for a ridiculous period of time, because my family is very, very clear on my wishes (and has been for years) just in case the worst ever happens.
8. The owner of a ferret.
7. A Nobel prize-winning mathematician.
6. A billionaire.
5. An award-winning singer. A famous singer. A singer.
4. A Republican
3. Someone who turns down a Krispy Kreme doughnut because I'm being "good."
2. A shoe-lover.
1. A SaberKitten.

(While I have no illusions that this is something that will interest everyone, and don't expect to see it making the rounds, if anyone else feels like sharing who they aren't, I'd be pleased to hear about it. If you think about it, it's kind of a blog version of the "I never" drinking game. Sláinte!)

Can we all scream?

There are few things in life that I enjoy more than ice cream. Some of you may have realized that a couple weeks ago when you learned that the current love in my life is a pint of Ben & Jerry's.

In case you were wondering, yes, we're still rapturously enamored of each other.

But tonight, I cheated.

I know it was wrong, and I could barely even look at the freezer when I got back home, but I couldn't resist. I am weak. There are too many other flavors out there for a girl to just sample one.

I waited until after Survivor was over before I went catting around, but I know that it really started earlier in the day when I lusted in my heart for one of his siblings. Please, try not to think too ill of me until you hear the whole story.

It all started right here, in the blog world, earlier today. I was checking out a blog I'd never visited before, which I had found in that wonderful hopscotch way of the Internet, when I saw this post. What was I supposed to do? Add the allure of a great band to the siren song of ice cream with raspberry and brownies and I'm supposed to not be moved? I mean, come on. I held my moral ground for a minute, gulped, and clicked off the page that was calling me to temptation.

Unfortunately, this was the page I clicked over to. Can you say "Childhood in a pint container" with me? Chocolate ice cream, the magic of s'mores and the memory of the most classic Brady Bunch episode ever? But no, I told myself, it's just not right. Click away, click away!

So I did. But then I literally found a flavor I couldn't refuse. No, literally. Those pied pipers of chilled confections have loosed The Gobfather™ upon the world. "Chocolate Ice Cream with Fudge Covered Almonds & a Nougat Swirl" -- who could say no?

I tried, mightily. I staggered away from my desk and buried myself in busywork, trying not to think about it. I was successful for several hours, but then came that moment when you have the chance to say "no" and you make your decision.

That moment came to me in the form of my brother querying with five simple, innocent words: What time does Coldstone close?

I will spare you the messy details that followed. But I am a fallen woman. So there's really only one question left to ask.

Does anyone have a spoon?

Do you know this boy? Well, don't lose him, for cryin' out loud!

If you don't know who he is, where have you been? This is Flat Stanley, of course!

Still not ringing any bells? Here's a story about his recent appearance on the red carpet, and here's the home of all things Flat Stanley.

The first time I heard about the Flat Stanley Project was a number of months ago from Rita, who I hope will chime in on the comments and share a little bit about her experience with him. I was floored because I thought I was the only one around who even remembered Flat Stanley!

I very fondly remember the book, Flat Stanley, from when I was a kid. But as an adult, whenever I would mention him or the book -- usually when someone dropped something down a grate or the like that only Flat Stanley could retrieve -- no one seemed to know what I was talking about.

So I was thrilled to hear that not only was he "alive and kicking," he was helping to get kids interested in reading and learning. I'm a little jealous that he's now more well-travelled than I, and disappointed that not being a teacher or parent I can't directly participate in the Project (though, sadly, I understand why that's necessary), but I find the idea of it going on all over the world very inspiring. Maybe eventually he'll find his way to my doorstep through a more circuitous route than I can envision. In the meantime, maybe I'll just have to catch up on all the other Flat Stanley books that I didn't even know had been published!

How about you -- do you have a Flat Stanley story to share?

"Use your library voice!"

I really enjoyed tonight's Amazing Race 7 and, while I'm still not going to do a recap -- after reading B-Side's recap for the first episode, I knew I'd made the right decision because I can't touch that -- I'll share some of my favorite moments.

I'd settled on counting "Survivor" references going forward, instead of picking back up the Baby Count. There were a number of lame and gratuitous ones in the first episode, so it seemed like a good bet. That was shot, however, when there were only a measly two the whole show while the "babys" were rolling fast and furious right off the bat. *sigh*

If I'd really wanted to be busy, I could have counted the number of times the racers said "Gracias." (Unless, of course, they were Joyce, who I would swear kept saying "Glassy-ass.") With the exception of Bianca, it's just about the only word in Spanish they all know and they feel the need to repeat it endlessly. Can we leave South America and go to Asia or somewhere non-Hispanic now?

Anyway, onto My Moments:

Emergence of a villain -- Without question, Rob. By the end, I was surprised he and Amber had any money left whatsoever, as he paid off and bribed pretty much anyone he could! I've never seen the likes of it on this show before; it was almost a thing of beauty.

Two camps (dare I call them "tribes"?) have emerged this season: Those who seriously dislike having Rob and Amber in the Race and won't be happy until they're eliminated; and those who like them and are cheering them on to the end. I firmly believe that anyone who doesn't fall into one of those two camps is someone not watching the show. I've already stated where I stand and tonight only reaffirmed my position. Without Rob in this season, I think it would be a hell of a lot less interesting and he and Amber have shown themselves to be viable players. I also firmly believe that people who continue to put forth the ridiculous idea that the producers are helping them so that they won't be eliminated too soon are just that -- ridiculous.

Favorite in-house comment during the Detour: "If Kendra were there, she'd have wanted to stop and do 'research' at that bookstore."

Favorite "Sure to be mentioned at TVgasm" quote from Lynn: "We're good at pulling up the rear!"

Best "duh" moment: The almost-eliminated Brian and Gregg running out of the library on the way to the Pitstop, yakking back and forth about the clue at a near-shout, when one (Gregg, I think) suddenly chastises the other by saying, "Shh, use your library voice!"

Second-best "duh" moment: The unfortunately not-almost-eliminated Debbie pointing out to Bianca that the clearly marked 6:40AM bus is the earliest one to leave in the morning.

Biggest downside to Rob and Amber being the first team to arrive at the Pitstop (Ha! Take that Rombah-hatahs!) and winning a trip from Travelocity -- They have to take the gnome along with them.

It's all Greek to me

I was chatting with a friend tonight when the topic of Greek letters/words came up. He mentioned one I didn't recognize, I asked what it stood for and he told me. End of discussion and we moved on.

A bit later, through no connection to the prior conversation, he sent me the link to a Web site he'd found. I noticed that the banner featured some Greek letters. All of a sudden, like a bolt of lightening, I recalled that at some point in my youth I decided that I had to commit the Greek alphabet to memory.

Believe me, when I set my mind to something like that, it gets done. I knew that alphabet cold. I just for the life of me can't remember why I did it. Now it seems like one of those things we do in life that, in retrospect, seem so utterly random and meaningless. At the time I suppose it mattered, at least to me, though I can remember very little of the Greek alphabet now.

Unlike when I learned the sign language alphabet after getting a little pink card for giving money to a deaf person in the parking lot of what used to be a Kmart here and is now a Home Depot, some thirty years ago! I carried that card around until it was dog-eared and greying, but I learned something that stuck with me.

What's the most random thing you can remember setting out to learn, for whatever reason?

Do a nice thing on a Monday

Please go visit panthergirl at The Dog's Breakfast today and leave a comment at this post.

Panthergirl works with a greyhound rescue group in NY that does great work in finding homes for these magnificent animals, and she has committed to making a $2 donation for the first hundred comments she gets today, with an additional $1 for every comment beyond that. Let's help her write out a big ol' check!

If you've never had the opportunity to meet a rescued greyhound, you'd probably be surprised. I know I was. I think we've all heard greyhounds characterized as very high-strung and nervous, but I got to know one very well a few years back while dogsitting for her and for the most part she was nothing like that.

I'm drawing a complete blank on her name at the moment (it's late!), but she was the sweetest thing who wanted to do nothing but play and snuggle. Even though she was taller than me when standing on her hind legs, she loved nothing more than to try to climb into my lap on the sofa as if she were a dog a quarter her size.

For the right family, they make wonderful pets and deserve good homes after years of racing. Groups like this need help to make sure that happens. I hope you'll take a moment and go leave a comment. Thanks.

Do you know this box? Well, don't eat it, it's got rocks in it.

This morning I stopped by my favorite local bakery, Copenhagen Crown Bakery, to pick up a little Friday bit of goodness to share. If you read the blurb about it, believe me, the name "Chocolate Chip Coffee Cake" does not do this creation justice. It is almost heaven on a plate. Sweet but not too sweet, flaky and light, but filling enough that you don't feel like you just ate an air-filled doughnut. Makes my mouth water just thinking about it. Mmmmm. But I digress...

While I was waiting for the guy behind the counter to get my treat ready (they didn't have any out in the case, but as soon as he saw me, he told me they had some in back that had just been made -- is it a good sign that he knows what I'm going to get before I say a word?), I saw what looked like the biggest Tiffany's box ever. Then I noticed that it was in the refrigerator. I realized that it was a huge cake done to look exactly like the famous robin's-egg blue box of so many womens' dreams.

I correctly surmised that it was for an engagement party -- when you are almost single-handedly keeping a place in business, you can ask questions like that -- and thought it was one of the most clever things I had ever seen. The baker had done a fabulous job and it truly looked precisely like the one above, right down to the bow. Surely it was unusual, right?

Shows how much I know. While doing a little search to find a picture to put here, I found an entire world of Tiffany box-inspired things! Did you know that out there exist: Tiffany box pinatas? Tiffany box cookies? "Tiffany aqua" boxes for wedding favors? Tiffany box Groom's cakes?

Well, they do. Not only that, but for the do-it-yourselfers out there, you can learn to make your very own Tiffany box cake! And, as if that weren't already enough, for the creative guy who would never dream of laying out the cash for an actual Tiffany ring (or other gift because, you know, I'm sure those are very nice, too...), you can find instructions on how to construct a Tiffany box out of jelly beans!

What an education this little exercise was. Oh, and in case all this Tiffany-ing has made you feel like doing some Fantasy Payday Shopping of your own, here's their site. If, on the other hand, you're just left wondering what all the fuss is about, here's a good story about the power of their brand that may help shed some light on the subject.

Fantasy Payday Shopping

Does everyone else love payday as much as I do? There is something about the thrill of seeing your bank account balance jump, checking over how much of your hard-earned money is actually not going to taxes, seeing how much has gone into your retirement account, and delighting in what your vacation time balance is up to. It makes my day...I just wish it made my day a little more often.

I understand why many companies (if not all, I don't know) have gone to the every-two-week payday instead of every week, but I miss the weekly thing. It's also harder for me to remember exactly when I get paid. So each payday I have a little reminder pop up first thing in the morning at work. Then I go out and treat myself to a really nice lunch because, well, I can. (To the person who is shaking his head and thinking, "If you compounded the interest on each of those lunches, you could have a downpayment on a house in about 20 years": Quiet. And you know who you are.) It's my reward for slogging through the prior two weeks with only (relatively) minor complaining.

But in the interest (Ha ha. Get it? Anyway...) of not actually going out on shopping spree on paydays, I'd like to introduce Fantasy Payday Shopping. So long as I can remember to do it, and don't get tired of the idea, I'll plan to share some things that I would otherwise be tempted to go out and buy just because I like them and I'm feeling flush in the ol' money department, even though I don't really need them. Which is most things, come to think of it, but that's really neither here nor there.

Fantasy Item 1: The Chrome Cell Phone Flask - I'm not that big of a drinker, but this is the coolest flask I've ever seen.

Fantasy Item 2: The Hello Kitty iPod mini - I don't have any intention of getting an iPod, but if I were going to get one, this is the one I'd have to get. Until they come out with a purple version, that is. They already have a U2 version; who's to say that Prince won't eventually do one?

Fantasy Item 3: Tierra Y Luna Rugs - I have absolutely no idea where I'd put these, but I think they're very cool.

Anyone else want to shop with me? Feel free to share your coveted would-be purchases.

The Reflex

Q: What happens when two bloggers take in a great concert together?
A: They spend half their time enjoying the show and the other half writing the post about it in their heads.

Well, that's what happens if you're me and April taking in the Duran Duran concert tonight. Which you're not, but we are. I knew that's what I was doing, but I didn't realize she was until she mentioned it on the walk back to the parking garage. I commented that it becomes "the reflex" you have once you've been doing this for a while. Ha ha. Get it? Anyway...

They had what I felt was a pretty crappy opening act, Ima Robot. Had I been tired enough, I would have slept through their half hour on stage. No one knew them, no one knew their songs, and I couldn't understand a word of what was sung apart from the odd curse word now and again. Not awful, really, simply not my cup of tea. The lead singer, I believe, fancies himself a very skinny version of Robert Smith, voice-wise. Frankly, I would have preferred to have The Cure up there. And I don't even like The Cure much.

Duran Duran was fantastic, though, and it was a show well worth seeing if you are a child of the 80s, musically speaking. Simon Le Bon has still got the voice, most of the moves, and a hell of a lot of stage presence. He also seems to need to spit...a lot. They had this taped-off square behind the keyboard area, and he would pop back there and spit on it, or stop in front of the drum set where he had a cup or two there just for that. I've never seen anything like it, but he managed it in a fairly discrete way; we just happened to have a good view of the Spit Square from where we were sitting.

Which, for once, was not directly behind the crazy, SNL skit-worthy, dancin' fool lady. (Barenaked Ladies/Alanis Morrisette.) It was not in front of someone who decided they needed to sing along...to Every. Single. Word. Of. Every. Single. Song. (Billy Joel/Elton John.) It was also not in the midst of pot-smoke heaven. (Dave Matthews Band.) Nor did I have to stand up the whole time. (John Fogerty.) It was not a view obstructed by a railing. (Simon & Garfunkel.) I was not surrounded by women screaming for a male singer whose appeal I don't get. (Matchbox 20, Clay Aiken.) There was no fight in the seating behind me. (Garth Brooks.) Or in the seating in front of me. (Fogerty again.) It was not about 100 degrees out and I was not dehydrated. (Duran Duran '02/Seal.) The roof of my car had not been destroyed while I was at the show. (DMB again.)

You can see the trend. I have the worst luck when it comes to these things, and they generally bother the shit out of me while I'm there. Almost every time I go to a concert these days, I end up thinking, "That just may be the last one I go to..." It never is, of course, but still.

At last, it appeared that I might just have a near-perfect concert-going experience. Until the chick behind me lit up a cigarette practically next to my ear. I decided not to do anything about it, which always pisses me off in retrospect because she was in the wrong not me, and I spent some time dreaming of an unobtrusive device I could invent that would allow me not to have to inhale the smells of cigarette smoke, pot smoke, body odor, buckets of perfume and stinky, jalapeño-loaded nachos whenever I go to concerts and other entertainment events. I have earplugs for my ears, which let me hear the music well enough, why can't I have noseplug filters that let me breathe without all the smells?

But I must have done something nice recently that the universe appreciated. Because before she could light up her third cigarette (which may have sent me over the edge), the people whose seats she and her boyfriend were occupying -- their tickets were for 15 rows further back -- finally showed up. The usher tossed them out of the seats after a protracted discussion and they headed off...just moments before the song Cigarette Girl had been saying over and over again that she really, really wanted to hear. That's right, The Reflex.

Bloggus interruptus

Tonight's blogging has been cancelled on account of hiccups. No, I'm not kidding. I can't stop hiccupping and it's very difficult to concentrate on writing when that happens. Go ahead, try it sometime. You'll see.

Yes, this means that there won't be much on the Amazing Race 7, and no "Baby Count." I've decided not to do it this time around, or at least not at the moment. I know all (two) of you are disappointed, but this season just has a different vibe. There are no dating models. There are no sickeningly gooey couples. There were "baby" and "honey" moments, but it's just not the same kind of teams this time around and I'm not feeling it.

So go check out TVgasm and let B-Side crack you up with his recap when it's up. Feel free to discuss the show and your thoughts on the teams in the comments, however.

But I will state, here and now, that I like Rob and Amber in the Race, and I plan to enjoy watching them compete. So there.

Do you know this man? Well, don't take any wooden nickels from him.

Damn, I'd say it's time for something light, fluffy and frothy around here, wouldn't you?

What we have here is the new "head" of the U.S. five-cent coin, beginning with nickels issued into circulation today. The article I initially cribbed the pictures from (I'd link it, but it's AOL so about 95% of you couldn't access it) called it an "Extreme Makeover" for our Mr. Jefferson. How wonderfully au courant of them, no? You might think they could have botoxed the crows feet a little for him if they were going to go that far.

It's nice to know that he did, in fact, have a right side to his face and that, since we can no longer see it, we don't have to wonder what color the ribbon on his little ponytail was. For an article on the changes and such, please go here.

The "tail" of the nickel is also changing, and this is the first new image:

Would someone please tell me whether this is a buffalo or a bison? The article says, "The backs of the coins depict the American bison, familiarly known as the buffalo." However, I was pretty sure that they were actually different animals, and that bison we still have but buffalo we don't because we were stupid way back when and hunted them out of existence right out from under the native Americans. So is it the bison of today or the buffalo of yesterday that is pictured?

Anyone else childishly amused that they didn't emasculate the poor thing and actually have a little doo-dad (don't know what you call them on buffalo/bison) where there's supposed to be a doo-dad? I would think it's the American Way to turn him into Buffalo Ken...accessories sold separately.

Hey, is this discussion making anyone else crave a bucket of Buffalo wings right about now? I'll bring the bleu cheese dressing.

Friday Funk

First off, I wanted to say thank you all for your comments over the last couple days. Even the ones on the post with no words, even if I didn't sound all that appreciative yesterday. They were all pretty funny, but I guess I wasn't in the mood to fully appreciate them just yet.

I'm still not feeling terribly perky about things, but the weekend is here and I'll get over it. In the meantime, however, I'll share the funk I was in earlier today. I read this article by one Michael Gorman, whose condescension made me see red for a little while. So, with apologies to Emma Lazarus, but none to Michael Gorman:

With quiet fingers. Give me your weary, your disillusioned,
Your unpublishable masses yearning to write free,
The untrammeled refuse of your ivory tower.
Send these, the "Blog People," media-belittled to me.
I lift my laptop beside the golden browser!

I find this man's posture annoying, though not surprising. And I certainly find the manner in which he characterizes bloggers, lumping us all together in a grammar-less, useless, meaningless, unworthy heap he terms "Blog People" to be lacking in both grace and intelligence.

How many times do you think Mr. Gorman has "Googled" himself to actually see what reaction, if any, the "Blog People" have had to his patronizing missive? High irony, indeed, if he has.

You know what, Mr. Gorman? Not all of us "Blog People" think Googleness is next to godliness. I've written before about how I came late to the Google party, and I certainly do not ascribe to it attributes or benefits it does not have. To many of us, Google is a tool, nothing more. And those of us who know how to use it do not find that the results are "in no very useful order." Perhaps that is whence your problem stems. You may not be a Luddite, but perhaps you are simply not computer-literate enough or, more accurately, Internet-literate enough, to get meaningful results out of what is a valuable tool. To suggest that it is anything else is, as you put it, "absurd."

Your obvious attempt to marginalize us by giving us, as a group, some B-movie moniker does you no credit in your bid to appear scholarly. Some of us "Blog People" are, in fact, "devoted to buying books and providing librarians for the library-starved children of California," although we do not have the wherewithal to affect how Google chooses to spend its R&D dollars. For you to assume otherwise is as mindless as you characterize our combined intellect to be. Your too-low-key-and-mild-to-be-a-rant rant should therefore be directed at Google the entity, not Google the product used by bloggers and millions of others.

As the founders of Google have announced their intention to fund a Google Foundation to do charitable works with an aim toward "ambitiously applying innovation and significant resources to the largest of the world's problems," perhaps they will do the very thing you criticize them for not doing, although I wonder if you took the time to find out what kind of donations Google has already made to our local schools, libraries, and other charities, which they doubtless have done as good corporate citizens.

The op-ed piece he mentions in the LA Times, which I'm not about to pay to access, has the subhead "The problem is, information isn't knowledge." I would agree with that. But, without having read the piece (see above about not paying), I can only argue that there is no knowledge without information, either. And Mr. Gorman did not gather enough information about blogs and "Blog People" to form an opinion that deserves much credence.

Thoughtful Thursday

How do you keep making yourself go into a building you've come to hate, when you'd rather sit in your car and cry instead?

How do you not feel a little miffed when a post in which you write absolutely nothing gets more comments than those you literally spent hours writing?

How do you adequately apologize to a friend for saying something you didn't realize would be taken as hurtful because it wasn't meant as such, but you don't find out about it until two days later?

How do you not scream when, for the 487th time, someone asks, "Just one?" when you go into a restaurant alone?

How do you "keep looking" with any sense of purpose, even with the encouragement of well-intentioned people, when apparently he doesn't want to be found...at least not by you?

How do you not want to verbally take someone's head off when they know you're an intelligent person yet out of left field they patronize you in an unexpected way?

How do you complain about having a pretty down and crappy day in your head without sounding completely pathetic?

How do you not feel bad for whining about things when your problems are so tiny compared to so many, many other peoples' problems?

Wordless Wednesday

Trivia Tuesday

Hmm, what to do on a night when there is still a week until Amazing Race 7 starts and there's nothing much on TV? That's right, go play some trivia!

Last week we discovered that there is a trivia contest at my favorite local restaurant each Tuesday, but we weren't able to stay and play at the time. We went back tonight to see how well we could fare at QuizBang, which I saw described as "a tournament of knowledge, music, skill and speed," and I'd say that is fairly accurate. I won't go into the details of how it all works, but there are a bunch of rounds and you play in teams to answer 40 questions.

I love trivia games and I'm generally pretty good at them; I'm the kind of person who really enjoys things like Trivial Pursuit and Jeopardy. I didn't earn the moniker "Queen of Random Shit" for nothing, you know.

For something like this, when you play with someone else you usually have the advantage of combined knowledge. Well, I think you need a whole tableful of people to have a chance at covering the breadth of topics the questions touch on. Some of the questions were hard!

For instance, do you know what city the Jetsons live in? Or which terrorist claimed that the U.S. Army had implanted a chip in his butt in order to control his mind? Or who completed the first successful heart transplant? Or what instrument Django Reinhardt is famous for playing? Well, neither did we.

But if you did...what are you doing next Tuesday?

Morose Monday

It seemed as though there was nothing but bad news today. Not that I had time to read much of it during the day, but the headlines were pretty sobering whenever I looked.

Honestly, when I first scanned the headlines in the morning, I had to stop and consider whether it was some cruel April Fool's Day or something. (I'm not at my sharpest first thing in the morning, okay?)

Sandra Dee died.
John Raitt died.
Killer mudslides in Southern California.
Hunter S. Thompson committed suicide.
Killer bird flu for humans could be on the way.
Aerosmith's Steven Tyler and his wife are separating.
Killer avalanches in India.
Personal data security breach bigger than first thought.
Killer ferry disaster in Bangladesh.
Poor Paris Hilton's address book was hacked and spread around the Web.

And then, just as I'm getting ready to start my post tonight:
Killer earthquake in Iran.

Wow. Welcome to Morose Monday.

The one bright spot in the "news" today? Peri is, in fact, the official Espresso Sarcasm Mascot! If you have a chance, be sure to go over and share your joy at this news with Norman.

I can't speak for him, but I can sincerely say that this is a dream come true for me.

Consider Me Gone

So, another week has come and gone, and what have we learned?

Well, I have learned that either:
a) No one enjoys the same music that I do;
b) No one thinks what I've been doing here this week is all that amusing; or
c) No one pays all that much attention when they're here each day.

Another option, I suppose, would be d) All of the above.

It's kind of no fun when you're playing a game and no one else is playing along. But if I told you what the game is, there would be no game. I hope that's cryptic enough to make you take another look and see what you've missed.

But many of you were paying attention yesterday and today and turned out in force over at Norman's for the Cutest Kitten contest. You did a fabulous job and I'm hoping that there will be good news to share tomorrow.

Many thanks to everyone who voted, especially one super-special person whose inimitable style, cleverness, and persistence are greatly appreciated. She knows who she is and she has both my admiration and gratitude. I suppose that wouldn't buy her so much as a cup of coffee most places, but if I ever get the chance, the honor would be mine to buy her a cup...or three.

Send Your Love

Those of you who have been coming here for any length of time will no doubt recognize this face:


For any of you who are a bit newer, alllow me to introduce my family's cat, Peri. She doesn't live with me (she lives with my mom), so I don't get to see her every day and, honestly, the sight of that little face makes me melt every time I see this shot.

She is our first cat, and the memories of those early days when every new thing she did was a delight and you had a bunch of adults falling over themselves to please a handful of fur are very happy ones. This picture brings that back for me the best.

So, why am I mentioning all this? Well, the delightful Michele has taken over as guest blogger at Norman's this week and, being a woman after my own heart, she has infused that bastion of anti-cat, anti-cute sentiment with a welcome sunbeam of sweetness.

She has created The Softer Side of Espresso Sarcarsm, where readers have submitted the cutest cat pictures they could find. I have submitted this picture of Peri, as well as one of Squeaky and another cat doing the cute thing. On that site, there's a contest going on, but not just any contest.

Yes, folks, starting now and going until midnight (ET) on Friday, you can help me win a highly coveted Nubbie award; an honor that is a one-of-a-kind, certainly never-to-be-repeated...EVER opportunity. Not only that, but the winning cat will become Norman's Mascot Kitty! I get a little weak just thinking about it...the same way I'm sure Norman does, but for completely different reasons.

So please share a little love for my favorite fuzz-face and go here to leave a comment under the entry with Peri's picture above. I suggest "Peri sent me," but you're free to go your own way. The cat with the most comments by the cutoff time wins. Michele has decreed "Vote early and often... " so get over there as much as you can and make it happen!

Be Still My Beating Heart

I'm in love. It happened so suddenly and so unexpectedly that it has left me a little breathless.

I was just going along, doing the things one does with one's evening when one doesn't really have anything one is actually supposed to be doing. Among them was going to the grocery store, pretty much to see what there was to see and to pick up a few things that probably weren't necessary but since I had the time to go I figured I would.

Who knew I'd walk in to my local Safeway with no expectations apart from a few good buys and maybe finding a penny or two on the floor at the cash registers, and walk out with the world at my feet? Certainly not I.

After walking up and down almost every aisle without much to show for my efforts, I went to check on whether my household's favorite ice cream novelty was still on sale, since I intended to eat the last one when I got home. And it's just not nice to do that without at least trying to get more for everyone else, right?

To my consternation, however, they were no longer on sale. I stood there, hand on hip, an ironic yet frustrated smile gracing my face, when a very nice man walked by and chuckled at my expression. He stopped and I learned that he mistook my grin as being overwhelmed by the pretty impressive selection. We chatted and I explained why I was smiling while staring at the spot on the freezer shelf where the sale sign should have been.

And that's when it happened. My heart stopped and the world shrunk down to the wonder I suddenly saw before me...No, no, not him, he had moved on and, nice as he seemed, my attention was elsewhere.

My eye was drawn to a sale tag in the adjacent freezer -- there it was, the one I'd been waiting for all my life. The perfect Ben & Jerry's flavor, Chocolate Therapy, a new limited-edition flavor that I personally believe was conjured right out of my dreams. My hand trembled a bit as I pulled open the door and reached for my piece of personal Nirvana.

Being shameless, we went home together and I dove right in. Who says there's no such thing as heaven on earth?

We expect to be very happy together for as long as it lasts, and we'll be registering soon at a grocery store near you.

It's Probably Me

I'm going to guess that you probably did not watch Dr. Phil's "Romance Rescue" tonight. And for that I commend you.

But I decided that I was going to suck up any distaste and watch and report on it since I felt a tad responsible after mentioning it a couple times and having so many people come by here because of it. I don't know how likely it is that very many of those people will be coming back, but once you make a commitment to something as silly as this, you might as well stick with it.

Really, having Jonathan and Victoria take part was like the fluffy, but defensive, cream filling in the Oreo of this show. They were stuck in the middle between two other segments -- though those were broken up to spin out the non-existent suspense --and were more or less the draw to make the cardboard-like parts seem more interesting. (I should note that I'm not a huge Oreo fan, so this analogy makes perfect sense to me.)

The other two segments consisted of a recently engaged couple who is already on the rocks, and a woman who just can't seem to find Mr. Right. I could tell you a lot more, but it broke down to the couple being afraid of each losing something (her: him, him: sex) and needing a second chance to start the engagement over, and Ms. Right was a control freak who froze up on dates. Not surprisingly, Dr. Phil made everything hunky-dory for them in the end.

With Jonathan and Victoria, however, it seemed more like an attempt at damage control for them -- they weren't there to have Dr. Phil "rescue" them. We had the standard Jonathan quotes, "I'm not the person that I've been portrayed[sic]," and the person we saw on the show was a "heightened version" of him, not a reflection of his "true character." Of course, this was all interspersed with clips of them being kissy kissy kissy kissy in order to really show the "softer side of their relationship," as Victoria put it.

The best bit of double-talk from him was when Dr. Phil asked how he could have treated Victoria that way over the infamous backpack shove incident. He said, verbatim: "Victoria has a component to her that allows her to go past a normal sense of reaction." Therefore he doesn't react to her reaction like everybody else (i.e., normal people) would. I heard: I'm so used to her screechy, hysterical way of dealing with stressful situations that I'm able to ignore it and expect her to get the hell with my program.

I got the impression that this was taped in the wake of their appearance on the Early Show following their elimination, and they were still smarting from all the bad clips being shown again and again and again. The upshot? "America doesn't need to be worried about Victoria." She's O.K.

Now that we know that, can we put them back on the margins of our real lives again and just think of them as a footnote in an otherwise great season of Amazing Race? Good. I'm glad we agree.

Shape Of My Heart

That seems like a good one to start with. We'll see how long it takes for someone to figure out what I'm talking about.

So, another solo Valentine's Day has been survived by yours truly. If you can't understand why I use the word "survived," I ask you to read this article. If you don't understand after reading it, this may not be the blog for you.

How have we come back around to the point where "A woman on her own...is simply unnerving," can you tell me? Divorce shouldn't be stigmatized, so I'm glad that is changing but, geez, don't cast me in the role of some sort of a new-age spinster and make assumptions about who I am because I don't "conform to the same shape" your life has taken. Please. (After all, I may be "weird" but I am also polite.)

In case you didn't know it, today was also International Quirkyalone Day. Never heard of Quirkyalone? For most of you, I'm not terribly surprised. Why would you? You're probably neither quirky nor alone. But if you are, here is my greeting to you today:

18 days and nothing's on

Suddenly, March 1 seems just so far away and I find myself in need of an Amazing Race fix.

1. Freddy and Kendra were on Live with Regis and Kelly today. Thanks to the wonder that is TiVo, I got the thrill of seeing it without even trying. (I couldn't care enough to tape their appearance on the Early Show on Wednesday.) As soon as they got settled atop the stools, Kendra's hand shot out and landed high up on Freddy's thigh. I think he decided that wasn't the place for it to be on national TV, so he grabbed her hand and moved it out of harm's way, and kept it clutched in his the whole rest of the time.

We got the story of how they met, how Freddy decided she was the woman for him, blah blah blah, and got insight into their strategy for the Race. Did you know that their plan was to play low-key, not to be too aggressive and thereby not always try to push their way to the front but just "not be last." So, in other words, they only let the other teams think they were in contention, but really these two masterminded it so that no one saw them as huge threats. Gee, guess if they had a plan that clever, they deserved to win. (Can you tell I'm still just a little bitter over the result of this season?)

And, oh, it had to happen. Just as they were about to wrap it up, Regis jokingly offered Freddy another million dollars to repeat his Hungarian soup adventure. Kendra, true to form, immediately turned and offered him what I think is the only encouragement she knows: Go, baby!

2. Isn't this such a nice picture of three of the final four couples?



There's Kris, with her ever-present perkiness, Jon with his never-fail smile. Aaron doesn't quite look like himself there, but he and Hayden obviously haven't imploded under the weight of her hysteria. He looks highly amused by Adam's glasses. And Rebecca, honey, open-mouthed laughs are fine, but ditch the gum. Cattiness aside, it's a nice shot, and clearly everyone is having just a wonderful time.

But you know what's coming, don't you?

Mmm-hmm, you see that bit of camel coat and you can just sense it, can't you?

Mmm-hmmmmm, that's right.

Unfortunately, this is what the uncropped photo looks like:



While looking, out of curiosity, to see how many people were still coming here in search of Team Spousal Abuse on that special next week (Answer: Lots), I ended up clicking on That Couple's Web site. Yes, it was "oh, look, a car wreck, is there any blood?" curiosity, but I couldn't help myself.

Their main page has a pretty thin blog and featured this picture from the night of the finale. Does anyone else wonder why Victoria is the only one who looks miserable? And this is the photo you choose to put up for the world to see how normal and happy you actually are. Right.

3. The difficulty encountered by two teams in trying to get on earlier flights in Japan during the AR6 finale sparked an interesting conversation with a friend of mine. He commented on how implacable the JAL employees were in enforcing the strict "company policy" about not letting them onto the flight even though there were open seats and in the face of a supposed crying, distraught mother. It was clear that there would be no bending of the rules, for any reason.

He said that was a good "example of how we Americans are more flexible when it comes to rules." I think the teams truly expected to be able to cajole them into letting them on, and I imagine most of us thought at first that they would, too. This difference in attitude toward rules reminded him of something a close German friend of his said to him about 9/11, "If this happened in Germany everybody would have died because after the first plane hit they told people all is OK and to stay in the building. Good rule-following Germans would have stayed."

That really gave me pause, because I never gave much thought to following the rules -- or not -- as being a cultural trait. But then I thought about something else that had been intriguing me for a while. I do a lot of surveys for the Harris Poll Online, some of which can be really dull and others of which are very interesting. Every once in a while they have these same standard questions at the end of a poll, and one of them is, essentially, "Do you believe that rules are meant to be followed or made to be broken?" I've never really understood why they ask that one, but since it's an international pool of respondents, perhaps this is something they keep an eye on to see how attitudes change or can be anticipated based on country.

So, where do you fall: Are rules in place to be followed for the safety of everyone, or are rules a flexible guideline that are meant to be broken? What do you think about it being something that varies by nationality?

When life gives you lime(rick)s...

There once was a girl by the Bay,
who again had little to say.
She felt pretty bad
and hoped people wouldn't be mad,
but she needed to call it a day.

Can't Get Enough of You, Baby

April pointed out on Saturday that this Smash Mouth song, which we were listening to at the time, would be the perfect title for this final Amazing Race 6 post. She was right, but actually, yeah, I have had more than enough of you "baby." This two-hour episode almost broke my resolve to keep counting, there were so freaking many of them.

But first let's take it back to Shanghai. (This spot reserved for the obligatory comment about Bolo completely mangling the name of the next city, Xi'an, China, at the start. We miss you, Bolo.) The remaining four teams set out for the final elimination leg with a pretty strong-looking Hayden and Aaron leading the way, followed by Freddy and Kendra, then Kris and Jon, with Adam and Rebecca once again bringing up the rear. (Insert your own joke here.)

I'm not going to do a point-by-point recap -- go see TVgasm if you missed the show or any portion of it, because I guarantee the recap there will surpass what I could do here -- so I'm going to just touch on some highlights and my favorite moments and lines.

- I thought maybe I was the only one who remembered this movie, but while they were spray-painting the car shell Adam said, "I feel like Michael Keaton in 'Gung Ho.'" It was the first time I had really a warm and fuzzy feeling toward P-boy. (I'm not going to repeat what I called him a few episodes back, because it resulted in some really...um...interesting Web searches.)

- Seeing the Museum of the Terra Cotta Warriors (link may be slow to load) was really something. It almost made me want to go to China -- almost -- and I certainly would have been tempted to linger there a bit longer had I been in the race.

- I didn't keep track of who did which Roadblocks throughout the Race, so maybe Aaron couldn't have done the one that involved the keys and what appeared to be thousands of locks. But, given the state Hayden had worked herself into, having her do it seemed like a mistake right off the bat. I've never seen a team skip a challenge and take a four-hour penalty, but they looked like they had just had enough. Because Rebecca found her lock at just about the last possible moment, that move cost them a spot in the final three. But all was not lost. In a rather unusual Pit Stop moment, Aaron and Hayden edged out Rebecca and Adam to the mat, but then got eliminated. Before we could recover from that, Aaron shocked everyone by taking to one knee and proposing to Hayden. Even Phil welled up a bit when, speechless, she accepted.

- I was really nervous about the ability of my new best friend, Adam, to do the final Roadblock. As Phil so kindly pointed out during the initial recap, Adam's fears had held the team up a number of times along the way. So as soon as he said he was going to do the sky diving, I envisioned a mile-high anxiety attack. Lo and behold, he had this look of utter determination on his face and he leaped out of that plane with nary a "Tell my mother I love her!" (Well, that we saw, as my brother pointed out.)

- What to say about Kendra? Apart from that she's $500,000 richer now, that is. I was disappointed that she and Freddy won, because I think Kris and Jon were the better team in so many ways. But Kendra did have more memorable lines, tonight and throughout. Nothing could ever top her "it's like they choose to live this way" comment (which they also thoughtfully showed again at the outset) but there were a few gems tonight. Such as when she declared that she and Freddy weren't "going to be the nice, sweet people" they had been up to that point. I'm sorry, was she talking about the same Race I was watching? And when she suddenly turned on the waterworks at the airport in Japan to try to get on an earlier flight, wailing "I have a sick child in Honolulu!" For me, the oddest was her sudden new proclivity to cast Freddy as a super hero. As he landed in the water after sky diving, she sang out, "Come to me, Superman!" and referred to him multiple times as her "little hero." But things reached their crescendo at the very end when Freddy declared that "Kendra is the most perfect human soul...for me." Thank you for that clarifier, bud, because I was about to lose my pizza, even though it wasn't deep dish.

Oh, there were many others, but it's time to face that it's over and there's nothing left to do but add up the "babies" and "honeys." Yes, it's the final version of the Official One Ping Only AR6 "Baby" Count™. As I mentioned, there were a whole lot of them, as we had the top three serial offenders in these last two hours. (Rebecca, wisely, chose to not use any endearments on Adam this time out.) So take a deep breath with me and ride out this storm of affection to its thrilling conclusion!

One Ping Only AR6 "Baby" Count: Finale = 128

One Ping Only AR6 "Baby" Count: Season 6 in toto = 554

But wait! There's more! It may not be possible for this number to be surpassed next season -- which starts on March 1 -- but in the preview for AR7, they showed one contestant letting out one big ole "Yeah, baby!" so there is a glimmering chance. Which means...we'll be back!

A Little Nap'll Do Ya

Before I get to the point of this particular post (should there actually be one), a little note for the oodles of peoples who have been coming here looking for information on the upcoming Dr. Phil special, "Romance Rescue," featuring this blog's favorite dysfunctional couple, the ELIMINATED Jonathan and Victoria from The Amazing Race 6: The show is on February 15th, on CBS, 9 p.m. ET/PT. Check your local listings. (I've always wanted to say that.) Go here for the CBS page with info and a video preview.

I really didn't know whether I was going to watch it or not -- I'm not the world's biggest Dr. Phil fan, though it's not like I can't stand him, I just don't watch much -- but now I feel a little compelled to do so, if only so I can take the hit for other AR6 fans who wouldn't touch it with a pole the size of Jonathan's ego and write about it here. I also am intrigued because I find it ironic that they're showing this the day after Valentine's Day -- build up all that romance one day, only to rip it down the next.

Anyway, that was my public service announcement for the day. Now all about me, me, me!

My weekend was a pastiche of football, food and naps, mixed in with a little shopping, a few errands and some quality Internet surfing time. The football wasn't just The Semi-Super Bowl, though. Saturday night we went to see the home opener for the San Jose SaberCats, our Arena Football team. Okay, well, some people may have been there to see the SaberKittens. I can't blame them, because those are some fine cheerleaders. (They've certainly got the now-defunct "Anorexic Girls" of the San Jose Stealth beat, both in talent and hotness, sorry girls.) Sadly, their page does not yet have kitten photos up yet -- a form of kitty blogging that I think even Norman could have *ahem* gotten behind -- but check back soon and see if you can tell the difference between Kristi, Kristen and Kristina!

Anyway, the SaberCats are the defending ArenaBowl Champions and they kicked the behinds of the visiting team from Las Vegas. The game was good, but I was tired after a point (the beer with dinner did me in), so I took a nap for a little while during the third quarter -- yes, it appears I really can sleep anywhere. But it got me refreshed for the free concert that followed from hometown band Smash Mouth. They were pretty good, and I think their upcoming new album will be successful based on the new songs we heard. I felt a little bad for them when they did "Walkin' on the Sun," because the bunch of kids they brought up on stage didn't know the words and the lead singer obviously expected that they would! But, I think they were a little too young -- most of them were just out of diapers when that song was a monster hit. And, I might add, a seminal song of the 90s, in my opinion.

You have no doubt read and heard all you need to know about the Super Bowl and the mostly lame ads, so I'll pretty much skip over that...other than to mention that I took a nice nap in the third quarter of that game, too. Oh, well, actually, it started during the halftime show, but I guess that's really no surprise. I roused myself in time for the food, of course. We had some lovely crudités, crackers and cheese, including some herb- and nut-crusted goat cheese balls I made (I love those things), and Burns-style chili, then topped it off with a delicious lemon Bundt cake. That probably doesn't sound like traditional football fare, but it worked for us.

Hmm, I think I need a snack now.

And the winner is...

Again, thanks to those of you who submitted entries for the reality show contest, and to those who expressed interest in general. It was fun to see what people came up with and I hope to do it again soon, with a different theme. Next time I'll leave a little more time for sending in entries. You'll just have to put up with more reminders!

So. There were some very diverse ideas, and each of them was unique and took totally different spins on the genre. But in the end, choosing the winner was the easiest part of the whole shebang. I guess there's no need to draw this out any longer -- I'll let the results and the spotlighted entries speak for themselves.

The Grand Prize winner of the One Ping Only First Anniversary Contest is...

...Ann! Her entry, Wrongfully Accused,* wowed the judges and unanimously took the top honors. It's a show we love the idea of and we would be interested in seeing how it could be brought to...uh...reality? Congratulations!

Taking the First Prize is...April! If it made it onto the air I know I wouldn't last a single episode on her show, which I dubbed In the Chips, but it would certainly be an education. We could really picture the whole concept and see how the mechanics of getting to a winner would work. Nice job!

There are two other entries I want to spotlight, because they were creative and interesting, and they made the judging challenging! The first one is from Grins. Her show, which I think of as The Chat Boat, could be the Temptation Island of the high seas.

Last, but most certainly not least, is Trading Everything from Fat Dude. His is a funky combination of pure originality and unabashedly cribbed elements from a host of actual shows. Compelling as it was, it's actually a good thing he didn't win this, because it could have blown his mojo for the far cooler contest he won today. Go wish him a great trip to party like a rock star in El Lay.

Thanks and congrats to you all!

* Boring stuff: 1. The ideas expressed in the entries linked here are the copywrited property of the participants who submitted them. So don't even try to steal them. E-mail them nicely and offer them lots of money. 2. If you don't have Adobe Acrobat and want to read any or all of the entries posted here, e-mail me and I can send them in Word. 3. Ladies, I'll be in touch soon to get your prizes to you.

Hello...is this thing on?

Where has everyone gone? Sixty-seven people stopped by today and no one but cbeck had anything to say? Wow. Hope you're all off doing something interesting. (And thanks, cbeck.)

Tonight I went out for dinner at one of my favorite local restaurants, Pasta Pomodoro. Have you ever gone to a restaurant that you've been to a hundred times before and, all of a sudden, they change the menu? That's what I encountered tonight. Usually I walk in there already knowing what I'm going to have because I know...I mean, knew...the menu like the back of my hand. (I should mention that I eat out quite frequently, and this place is a real standby.)

The menu available at the link is the old one. Now it's really, really different. I was thrown for such a loop that it took me a very long time to decide what to have. In the end I decided to try two things from their new "small plates" selections to make a meal.

I happen to love Brussel sprouts, and they have a neat new dish where they're seared and it's absolutely delicious. (Has anyone else noticed that Brussel sprouts are showing up a lot more on menus lately?) It was a nice surprise; if they added a little bacon to it, it would be just about perfect. I combined that with some simple spinach and ricotta ravioli in pomodoro sauce (ravioli di magro). Perhaps an unusual pairing, but it really worked together and I was very well-sated in the end.

The waitress was really cool about my floundering around the new menu and before we left she made a point of giving me one of the to-go menus to take with me so I'd be prepared next time. (Look, Kendra! I'm doing research!!) Good way to get a nice tip.

Anyway, we topped the evening off by renting Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle. What a funny freaking movie! I'd heard that it was, of course, and meant to go see it while it was in theaters but just never got there. I'm kind of glad I didn't, though, because I think I would have embarassed myself if I'd watched it in public.

The movie gave me a real craving. For, um...burgers, naturally. Good thing I was already full from dinner. Though I probably could have gone for a Krispy Kreme run. Can't wait 'til the new one opens here next month or so, as it will be a lot more accessible for late-night munchies. Ahhh, bliss in a box.

Stuck on the hump

This is one of those rare times when I find that I have little to say. I had a mostly crappy day at work and, while the evening was better, nothing crossed my path to inspire me much. So perhaps it's more like I have stuff to say, but it's not really worth saying.

Instead, I'd like to take the opportunity to point you in the direction of some blogs I've recently added to my Pingworthy list, in case you haven't perused it lately.

Over the Road - Go over and take in a few tales from Trucker Bob, who has crisscrossed this continent and has boatloads truckloads of stories to share about that life. This and this are particular favorites of mine. I think with a little encouragement, we can get him to bust out a few more anecdotes that will make us all wish we had been along for the ride. And no, I'm not just sending you there because he said nice things about me.

Tinfoil Hat Pundit - All the fake news that certainly isn't fit to print, but it sure as hell is funny.

Puglet Ponderings - What do you get when you take one overworked pastry chef in a crazy bakery, stir in two pugs, an addiction to Nutrageous bars and a fuzzy sock fairy, add a touch of medical maladies, and whip it all up in NYC? Puglet, that's who.

Petite Anglaise - A) A multi-award nominated blogger; B) An English bird flying in Paris; C) A woman who can order Ben & Jerry's in multiple languages; D) All of the above.

Last Girl on Earth - She rocks. Literally. I suggest you Listen To This.

Go. Read. Enjoy. Come back eventually and tell me what you thought.

"Do you have a clue?"

I hate to say it, because I did enjoy the episode overall, but watching tonight's Amazing Race felt like a bit of a letdown. The thrill is gone, friends, with no one compelling to root for among the remaining four teams.

My brother -- Whose generosity, it should be noted, actually makes One Ping Only possible and whose ongoing support contributes to its continued life. If this were Hollywood, he'd probably get an Executive Producer credit. But it's not. So he won't. -- commented early on that he missed hearing Bolo destroy the name of whichever city they would be headed out to from the Pit Stop, and it really hit me that a lot of the fun had gone out of the game with their departure.

No more barbarian insults. No more adventures in counting. No more implant jokes. They were the last of the teams with real personality that wasn't defined just by bickering. Oh, and I miss their bickering, too.

So I'm feeling a little like, "Okay, let's get it over with, hand Kris and Jon the money and look forward to next season with Amber and Boston Rob." That fleeting wish almost got a little closer to being impossible as Team Smiley faced a barrage of dreadful cab drivers in China and came very close to going from first to last...not to mention almost getting creamed by a bus while running across a traffic-filled street on the dash to the Pit Stop. They edged out Rebecca and Adam, who were spared by a non-elimination round.

At least I was right in one of my predictions, since Kendra wasn't the offending honeymeister tonight, it was Rebecca of all people. I think she took her decision to continue playing along as Adam's girlfriend a little too much to heart and went overboard with the endearments at the Detour. As much as I sometimes want to smack her a little because she ever got into that relationship in the first place, I do admire her spunk. When Adam chastised her for the third time about calling him "honey," she shot back, "All right, ass."

A few odd moments from tonight:

- The sight of the racers dashing amidst the tai chi practitioners all dressed in white and moving in unison, looking for masters of the art, repeatedly asking them if they had the clue they needed. Aaron topped it off by telling one of them, "You look masterful."

- The Dr. Phil "Romance Rescue" commercial featuring Jonathan and Victoria, where Dr. Phil asks Jonathan, "Are you a jerk? Is that who you are?" Did the look on Jonathan's face say "YES!" to anyone else?

- As Phil was describing the aspects of the two tasks for the Detour, while walking along a sidewalk in a street in Shanghai lined with curious people, a Chinese woman totally and blatantly checks out his khaki-clad ass. How do you say "Nice pants" in Mandarin?

And now, the penultimate edition of the Official One Ping Only AR6 "Baby" Count™, which was almost evenly divided among "babies" and "honeys" this week, thanks to Rebecca's and Adam's efforts. As a bonus, there was a sweetheart thrown into the mix, but that doesn't actually get counted. We have to have some sort of standards around here, you know.

One Ping Only AR6 "Baby" Count: Episode 11 = 57