DAILY CHUCKLE 8-225

"Let's all be careful out there!"

SURFING THE WEB

CAN BE VERY FRUSTRATING

This is not a joke. I was trying to view some video at CNN.COM and this is the message I received. I always thought 10 was a higher number than 8.

"You never have to worry about the cops around here. I own this area and no pussy cop would ever....Ah. Excuse me for a minute."

It was fun until the broken jaw, missing teeth and casteration:


Being a mascot is hard work:


I thought pouring water over someone at a sports event was reserved for the players and coach. Not a whacked out kamakazi fan and an innocent news reporter, standing on the street outside of the event. And NO, I don't think this one is funny. "Blue Boy" committed a battery, his face is shown and he should spend some "down time" in lock-up. IMO.


Do you like clowns? A lot of people find them creepy and scary. Look at the transformation that occurs when Mister Rogers puts on a mask:


If you haven't guessed by now. There isn't one frakking interesting story in the news. I am tired of the war. Tired of politics. Tired of Dubya.

I am just frakking tired of everything.

But you folks. I'll never get tired of you. Thanks for stopping over.

Later...

"Let's all be careful out there!"

AUGUST 11TH

***

Today is Monday, August 11, the 224th day of 2008.
There are 142 days left in the year.

Today's Highlight in History:

• On August 11, 1949, President Truman nominated Gen. Omar N. Bradley to become the first chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff.

On this date:

• In 1919, Germany's Weimar Constitution was signed by President Friedrich Ebert.
• In 1934, the first federal prisoners arrived at the island prison Alcatraz in San Francisco Bay.
• In 1942, during World War II, Pierre Laval, prime minister of Vichy France, publicly declared that "the hour of liberation for France is the hour when Germany wins the war."
• In 1954, a formal peace took hold in Indochina, ending more than seven years of fighting between the French and Communist Vietminh.
• In 1956, abstract painter Jackson Pollock, 44, died in an automobile accident on New York's Long Island.
• In 1962, the Soviet Union launched cosmonaut Andrian Nikolayev on a 94-hour flight.
• In 1965, rioting and looting that claimed 34 lives broke out in the predominantly black Watts section of Los Angeles.
• In 1984, President Reagan joked during a voice test for a paid political radio address that he had "signed legislation that will outlaw Russia forever. We begin bombing in five minutes."
• In 1992, the Mall of America, the biggest shopping mall in the U.S., opened in Bloomington, Minn.
• In 1993, President Clinton named Army Gen. John Shalikashvili to be the new chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, succeeding the retiring General Colin Powell.

Ten years ago:

• One of the shooters in the Jonesboro, Ark., schoolyard massacre, Mitchell Johnson, pleaded guilty to murder and battery and the other, Andrew Golden, was convicted. (The boys, ages 14 and 12, were detained by Arkansas juvenile authorities until they turned 18, then transferred to federal custody. Federal authorities released the two when they turned 21.)
• British Petroleum announced it was purchasing Amoco for $49 billion.

Five years ago:

• President Bush chose Utah Gov. Mike Leavitt to head the Environmental Protection Agency.
• NATO took command of the 5,000-strong peacekeeping force in Afghanistan.
• Charles Taylor resigned as Liberia's president and went into exile in Nigeria.
• Herb Brooks, who coached the U.S. Olympic hockey team to the "Miracle on Ice" victory over the Soviet Union in 1980, died in a car wreck near Minneapolis at age 66.

One year ago:

• President Bush welcomed French President Nicolas Sarkozy to his family's estate in Kennebunkport, Maine.
• Former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney won an easy and expected victory in a high-profile Iowa Republican straw poll.
• Funeral services were held in Newark, N.J., for three college students shot to death in a schoolyard during an apparent robbery attempt.
• Big Ben's bongs fell silent as workers began a month of maintenance work on the iconic London clock and its world-famous bell.

Today's Birthdays:

• Actress Arlene Dahl is 80.
• Actress Anna Massey is 71.
• Songwriter-producer Kenny Gamble is 65.
• Rock musician Jim Kale (Guess Who) is 65.
• Country singer John Conlee is 62.
• Singer Eric Carmen is 59.
• Wrestler-actor Hulk Hogan is 55.
• Singer Joe Jackson is 54.
• Playwright David Henry Hwang is 51.
• Actor Miguel A. Nunez Jr. is 44.
• Actress Viola Davis is 43.
• Actor Duane Martin is 43.
• Actor-host Joe Rogan is 41.
• Rhythm-and-blues musician Chris Dave is 40.
• Actress Anna Gunn is 40.
• Rock guitarist Charlie Sexton is 40.
• Hip-hop artist Ali Shaheed Muhammad is 38.
• Actor Will Friedle is 32.
• Rapper Chris Kelly (Kris Kross) is 30.
• Singer J-Boog is 23.

Thought for Today:

"Some people think that doctors and nurses can put scrambled eggs back into the shell."
Dorothy Canfield Fisher, American author (1879-1958).

"Let's all be careful out there!"

DAILY CHUCKLE 8-224

"Let's all be careful out there!"

POOF! NOW YOU SEE ME...

POOF! NOW YOU DON'T

This is straight from Star-Trek. UC Berkeley researchers have had success in the development of technology that renders 3 dimensional objects invisible in ordinary light. A true "cloaking" device. Portions of the funding for this came from the US Army. Well, DUH!

And speaking of Star Trek. They have a new on-line game that should be going "live" in the very near future. Click image to beam to the home page.

Below is a trailer for the game.

The graphics are pretty impressive.


Sadly, the last video game I played was on an Atari 2600. The new controlers are a bit beyond my comprehension, which is why the grandkids get frustrated with me.

Think squirrels are dumb?:


If you can't parallel park, you don't deserve to drive:


Well, it was either an earthquake or the fat lady downstairs has a new boyfriend.

The genome of our cousin, the Neanderthal, has been mapped. Maybe this will help explain why we're here and they aren't.

Those of you in the States. Did you watch the opening ceremony of the Olympics? Well, first off, what you saw occured about 12 hours earlier. Its just that NBC-TV didn't carry it live during the hours when the Today Show was running. No, they held the program until primetime to generate the maximum number of viewers (and ad $$s). Second, a cop always has a credo of believing none of what you hear and only half of what you see. That holds true with those very unique shots of the fireworks. Those camera angles that made you say "No frakking way" were actually CGI. Eat your heart out, George Lucas. Oh, that pic above is just a normal smog filled night in Beijing. Or not.

Terrorists enter into unlocked cars. Turn on the interior dome lights. Leave. The owners of the vehicles feel so violated the next day to find their auto batteries are dead. Police, in concert with Homeland Security and the FBI, are working on obtaining $8.7 million in funding to learn how to prevent those low down worthless scum from doing this again. Special community discussions are being held to garner input as to possible solutions and preventions. One 8 year old girl who suggested people should just lock their cars at night was arrested and shipped to Gitmo as a possible undocumented aide to terrorism.

You think those sprinters in Beijing have it rough? Try doing that 100m in highheels (3.5" or 9cm minimum) like these ladies in Moscow on Saturday. BTW - What happened in the 90s to change Russian women from fat ugly ol' ducks into beautiful long-legged cuties?

Coney Island, in NYC, now features a "waterboarding" attraction for the tourists.

Forget about law rnforcement, firefighting or fishing for crab in the Bering Sea of Alaska. The world's most dangerous job has to be the guy who guesses weight and age along the midways of county and state fairs nation wide.

Hell hath no fury like a woman whose griffin has been pilferred. That almost sounds obscene, doesn't it?

Well, its Monday. I hope this view of our world has lightened the load of your day a wee bit.
Thanks for visiting.

"Let's all be careful out there!"

WORLD SAUNA CHAMPIONSHIP

WON BY FINLAND!

That the Finns won isn't surprising. The fact that there is a World Sauna Championship is. I used to have a hottub that I kept at 115°f, some 20 years ago when I could afford it. I found it too cool when it dropped below 110°f.

"I scream. You scream. We all scream, for ice cream." But just because you can make an ice cream flavor, doesn't mean you have to The Puking line forms on the right.

To "popcorn" or to not "popcorn". That is the question. The question that theater owners and goers must contend with in bloody ol' Britain. Gee, I am old enough to remember when popcorn came covered in real butter. Not that artificial yellowy chemical mix they use nowadays. I can also remember when margarine came as a white gooey substance that was turned yellow by blending in the contents of a capsule that was included in the box.

Ever heard of "beer goggles"? Me neither. But the police in Buffalo Grove IL are missing theirs. Sorry, Canadians. It has nothing to do with competitive beer vat diving. But the Czech Republic does offer a "beer spa" for a nice sudsy soak.

From about 20 miles south of me comes this story of "ghost-riding". You know, if you are going to break the law, videoing it and posting it on the web is really not the smartest move. Even cops can use a PC. Watch video:


Okay, it is a TV ad but it does capture the ideal goal of any Olympiad or other competition. Give it all you've got:

"I didn't play the music that loudly -- and it wasn't just Cher -- I used to play heavy metal as well," he said.

And to continue in that vein, I am not sure whether the Brits don't like noise or just like to make it.

Checkout the background. Pretty much sums things up IMO:


"Let's all be careful out there!"

AUGUST 10TH

***

Today is Sunday, August 10, the 223rd day of 2008.
There are 143 days left in the year.

Today's Highlight in History:

• On August 10, 1846, President Polk signed a measure establishing the Smithsonian Institution, named after English scientist James Smithson, whose bequest of half a million dollars had made it possible.

On this date:

• In 1792, during the French Revolution, mobs in Paris attacked the Tuileries Palace, where King Louis XVI resided. (The king was later arrested, put on trial for treason, and executed the following January.)
• In 1821, Missouri became the 24th state.
• In 1874, Herbert Clark Hoover, the 31st president of the United States, was born in West Branch, Iowa.
• In 1921, Franklin D. Roosevelt was stricken with polio at his summer home on the Canadian island of Campobello.
• In 1948, Allen Funt's "Candid Microphone," later titled "Candid Camera," made its television debut on ABC.
• In 1949, the National Military Establishment was renamed the Department of Defense.
• In 1968, 35 people were killed in the crash of a Piedmont Airlines Fairchild FH-227 at Kanawha County Airport in West Virginia.
• In 1969, Leno and Rosemary LaBianca were murdered in their Los Angeles home by members of Charles Manson's cult, one day after actress Sharon Tate and four other people were slain.
• In 1988, President Reagan signed a measure providing $20,000 payments to Japanese-Americans who'd been interned by the government during World War II.
• In 1993, Ruth Bader Ginsburg was sworn in as the second female justice on the U.S. Supreme Court.

Ten years ago:

• Secretary of State Madeleine Albright announced a $2 million reward for information leading to the conviction of the terrorists who bombed U.S. embassies in Kenya and Tanzania, killing 224 people, including 12 Americans.

Five years ago:

• Liberian President Charles Taylor delivered a farewell address to a nation bloodied by 14 years of war.
• During a heat wave plaguing Europe, Britain topped 100 degrees for the first time in recorded history.
• Russian cosmonaut Yuri Malenchenko, aboard the international space station, married his earthbound bride, Ekaterina Dmitriev, who was at Johnson Space Center in Houston, in the first wedding ever conducted from space.
• Atlanta Braves shortstop Rafael Furcal turned the 12th unassisted triple play in major league history against the St. Louis Cardinals. (St. Louis beat Atlanta 3-2.)

One year ago:

• Three men were killed in a southern Indiana coal mine when a nylon sling used to transport supplies up and down a shaft got caught, causing the bucket the men were riding in to tip and send them plummeting more than 500 feet to their deaths.

Today's Birthdays:

• Singer Al Alberts is 86.
• Actress Rhonda Fleming is 85.
• Singer Jimmy Dean is 80.
• Singer Eddie Fisher is 80.
• Actress Kate O'Mara is 69.
• Singer Ronnie Spector is 65.
• Actor James Reynolds is 62.
• Rock singer-musician Ian Anderson (Jethro Tull) is 61.
• Singer Patti Austin is 60.
• Country musician Gene Johnson (Diamond Rio) is 59.
• Actor Daniel Hugh Kelly is 56.
• Folk singer-songwriter Sam Baker is 54.
• Actress Rosanna Arquette is 49.
• Actor Antonio Banderas is 48.
• Rock musician Jon Farriss (INXS) is 47.
• Singer Julia Fordham is 46.
• Journalist-blogger Andrew Sullivan is 45.
• Singer Neneh Cherry is 44.
• Singer Aaron Hall is 44.
• Rhythm-and-blues singer Lorraine Pearson (Five Star) is 41.
• Singer-producer Michael Bivins is 40.
• Actor Justin Theroux is 37.
• Actress Angie Harmon is 36.
• Country singer Jennifer Hanson is 35.
• Actress JoAnna Garcia is 29.
• Rhythm-and-blues singer Nikki Bratcher (Divine) is 28.
• Actor Ryan Eggold is 24.

Thought for Today:

"Conceit is God's gift to little men."
Bruce Barton, American advertising executive (1886-1967).

"Let's all be careful out there!"

DAILY CHUCKLE 8-223

"Let's all be careful out there!"

I KNOW THE THINGS THAT I KNOW

AND NONE OF THE THINGS I DON'T KNOW

Thats about par for the course. Wouldn't you think?

The lady on the right is the "Venus of Willendorf". It currently resides in the Natural History Museum, in Vienna, Austria. There are two factors about this statuette that are interesting. First, it is about 25,000 years old. Which predates any known civilization on earth by about 15,000 years. Second, it is not the only one in existence. Almost identical creations have been found in France and Russia. It is not made from any local rock. It was created when mastadons still roamed the Earth and mankind lived in small villages.

So I wonder where it was created and by whom and was this individual a traveling salesman of sorts. Plying his wares between the Urals and the Atlantic Ocean? Every new revelation presents untold new questions.

Everyone knows what fingerprints are and how the ridges are used to identify individuals. Now trace elements collected in the oils of the skin that leave these impressions can be read and identified. Thus telling investigators what recent items were touched prior to leaving the print on a surface. CSI for the 21st century.

Inland from the north end of San Francisco Bay is the Sacramento/San Joaquin delta. This delta keeps the salty water of the bay from encroaching on the fresh waters. This delta is composed of hundreds of small islands that are about 20 feet below sea level. Existing only because of their surrounding levees. The soil of these islands is rich peat and can be used for growing almost all year long. But, alas, agriculture and erosion is creating a major soil loss. If the delts island fail, the vast majority of the fresh water shipped 450 miles south to the desert city of Los Angeles would cease. Science has discovered that using old crops can have a positive effect on the eco-system.

Here is where you can keep tab on the overall medal count, by country, at this year's Olympics

1. USA 2 gold 2 silver 4 bronze
2. CHINA 3 gold 1 silver 0 bronze
3. KOREA (s) 2 gold 1 silver 0 bronze

And no, I don't plan on doing this every day of the games. Thats why I gave the link, for those interested.

Dutch swimmers claim Women's 4 X 100m Freestyle gold:

Guo Wenjun of China takes Women's 10m Air Pistol Gold:

In a lot of the smaller countries, any citizen who wins a medal will be a national hero. In America, unless they are a really cute gymnast, their names will be forgotten before the game are over. Its the "Warhol Rule".

Scientists have created stem cells for 10 specific disorders.

Did you read comic books as a kid? Remember those ads for the x-ray vision glasses and magical sea monkeys?

Would you be interested in a vehicle that could get 106mpg.

Maybe this is what Obama was thinking about when he told us to "inflate".





Want to solve a mystery? Turns out there is a whole lot more to Leavenworth KS that its infamous Federal Prison. Be sure to watch the video.

Ever thought about flying a kite to generate power? Some folks have this on their agenda. Video.

I don't know whether all the facts are kosher in this news clip but it is an nice oddity.
08-08-08 @ 0808 hrs @ 8lbs 8oz.

Don't forget, the annual Perseid Meteor shower hits its peak before dawn on Tuesday. Sadly, the Moon will be ashinin' in the night sky until just before dawn.

When people say "Big Brother Is Watching You" they are deadly serious. Especially if you are visiting China.


Everyone enjoy your Sunday.
Maybe a few more will find their way here today than yesterday. Which was one of the worst in this blog's history.
I do wish to thank those of you who do manage to visit. I truly appreciate it.

Later...

"Let's all be careful out there!"