DANGLING PLOT THREADS?

Eve Tushnet has send me the following link to a site collecting a master list of dangling plot threads in Harry Potter. We've dealt with most of 'em here (or they're on my list)... See if you can find any new ones!

SLUGHORN THE WEAK: SET-UPS AND PAYOFFS

Having moved through a discussion of Magical Objects (with the sudden and overwhelming realization that I left the Pensieve off the list! Oops!), I now want to move from things to people, and turn to looking at the set-ups and payoffs surrounding various wizards.

We've already examined set-ups and payoffs involving Voldemort and Harry in some detail, and I'm going to devote separate posts (maybe several of them, who knows) to Snape and Draco. So for right now, here's the wizards I'm going to take a quick look at, all of whom I think we will see again in Book 7:

Horace Slughorn
Neville Longbotton
Percy Weasley
Peter Pettigrew
Rubeus Hagrid
Ludo Bagman
Victor Krum
Mundungus Fletcher
Rufus Scrimgeour
Florian Fortescue
Ollivander

I also want to take a very quick look at marriages in the wizarding world, and at what it means for a wizard to be "qualified." Obviously I'm leaving a lot of people out -- Ron and Hermione, for starters! That's because, on my pneumonia-driven read-through of all six books, I felt any set-ups for those characters were right out in the open: When Hermione and Ron tell Harry, "We'll go with you wherever you're going" [HBP-30], it's not too hard to figure out that, gee, maybe in Book 7, Ron and Hermione will go on Harry's journey with him.

Anyone wants to add set-ups about other wizards -- feel free! Those comment boxes are working after all!

Okay, let's start with Horace Slughorn

As the official "visiting professor" of Book 6, Slughorn stands a very good chance of reappearing in Book 7. After all, we have had at the very least token appearance (often much more) from all our previous visiting professors except poor Professor Quirrell, who ended Book 1 a bit, um, indisposed.

So what do have have set-up about Slughorn, and what role is he like to play in Book 7?

Well, what we know primarily about him, is that he is weak. Weak in the sense of being prone to manipulation (both as subject and object). Weak in the sense of always protecting himself, of having the instinct to hide and lie. Weak in the sense of riding the coattails of power, of trying to impress others not by his own power, but by his proximity to power.

Slughorn, therefore, is a wonderfully apt character for our own celebrity-driven culture. We recognize him immediately -- and to our shame, often recognize pieces of him in ourselves.

Let's look at specifics. For once, instead of having to figure out the truth about a visiting professor, Dumbledore tells Harry (and us) exactly what Slughorn is about from the get-go:

"Horace," said Dumbledore, "...likes his comfort. He also likes the company of the famous, the successful, and the powerful. He enjoys the feeling that he influences these people. He has never wanted to occupy the throne himself; he prefers the backseat -- more room to spread out, you see. He used to handpick favorites at Hogwarts, sometimes for their ambition or their brains, sometimes for their charm or their talent, and he had an uncanny knack for choosing those who would go on to become outstanding in their various fields. Horace formed a kind of club of his favorites with himself at the center, making introductions, forging useful contacts between members, and always reaping some kind of benefit in return, whether a free box of his favorite crystalized pineapple or the chance to recommend the next junior member of the Goblin Liaison Office."

Harry had a sudden and vivid mental image of a great swollen spider, spinning a web around it, twitching a thread here and there to bring its large and juicy flies a little closer.

"I tell you all this," Dumbledore continued, "not to turn you against Horace -- or, as we must now call him, Professor Slughorn -- but to put you on your guard. He will undoubtedly try to collect you, Harry. You would be the jewel of his collection; 'the By Who Lived'... or, as they call you these days, 'the Chosen One.'" [HBP-4]

Notice that Dumbledore isn't warning Harry because he thinks Harry is in any danger from Slughorn. He is warning Harry against letting himself be manipulated -- a warning that will stand Harry in good stead against others beside Slughorn, as Rufus Scrimgeour moves in on him, for instance.

Slughorn, of course, as a master manipulator, recognizes Harry's attempted (and clumsy) manipulation easily, when Harry first goes after Slughorn's untampered-with memory [HBP-17]. I think it's to Slughorn's credit that he is genuinely ashamed of having given Tom Riddle such detailed information about Horcruxes [HBP-22] -- and I think, given the state of Slughorn's drunkenness, his shame is indeed genuine. When we see the memory, we get the sense that Slughorn regretted giving out the information even as he was doing it [HBP-23]. And he gives Harry that memory -- at least in part -- out of his love for the memory of Lily Evans (and we have here another reminder of Harry having "his mother's eyes") [HBP-22].

However, even as we see a sense of morality, a sense of knowing right from wrong lying deep within Slughorn, we see his abiding weakness: Yes, he does the right thing and gives Harry the memory -- but only with his overriding concern being what Harry thinks of him [HBP-21]. And yes, he gave Harry the memory out of his love of Lily -- but also because Harry appeals to his hunger for power-proximity by saying that, yes, he is the 'Chosen One' [HBP-22].

Again, when Dumbledore is killed, Slughorn's shock and dismay seem entirely genuine -- but his weakness shows through in that his first thoughts are of himself:

"Snape!" ejaculated Slughorn, who looked the most shaken, pale and sweating. "Snape! I taught him! I thought I knew him!" [HBP-29]

I know there are people out there who believe Slughorn is a secret Death Eater. I don't think so. I don't think someone this in love with what we might call "earthly" power would ever take sides that definitively. It's not in his character to do so. Siding with Voldemort would in fact mean an end to all the favor-currying Slughorn practices so assiduously; it would mean an end to his lifestyle. The power he craves is not what Voldemort can promise to provide: the power over other, to destroy them.

We learn that Slughorn, as he returns to Hogwarts and starts to revive the "Slug Club" before he even sets foot in the castle, in fact avoids recruiting students with ties to the Death Eaters [HBP-7]. He also lies (not a surprise from him) when Harry asks him about Horcruxes, specifically out of fear of being linked to the Dark Lord [HBP-18].

No, if Slughorn is evil, it is not because he has chosen what is wrong in lieu of what is right. It is because he has made the choice "between what is right and what is easy" [GF-37] -- and come down squarely on the "easy" side of the equation.

So why do I think Slughorn will make an appearance in Book 7?

I think we'll see him again -- perhaps only briefly -- because he is too important to Voldemort. Dumbledore acknowledges that Slughorn has "considerable skills" that the Death Eaters would find useful [HBP-4] (Among them, we learn, is Occlumency [HBP-17]). But I don't think this is the real reason Slughorn is, when we meet him, on the run from Voldemort.

I think Slughorn is valuable to Lord Voldemort because he is one of the few people left alive who knew him as Tom Riddle. And, with Dumbledore dead, he is one of the extremely few people alive (four, by my count) who know Voldemort has been making Horcruxes [HBP-19].

In short, Voldemort has very good reason to recuit Slughorn -- not because he wants to use his talents, but because he wants (a) to know who Slughorn has told about his Horcrux conversation with Tom Riddle and (b) to kill him.

So, as a corollary, not only do I think we will see Slughorn in Book 7, but I think we will see him safely holed up at Hogwarts (assuming the same protections continue there after Dumbledore's death), probably as head of Slytherin house. And I doubt he will set foot outside the castle until Voldemort is vanquished.

A true Slytherin, that Horace.

UNEXPECTED PATRIOTISM

It's Election Day here in California today. A rather controversial and some would say useless election. No one's running for office. No, it's a special election, called at the cost of tens of millions of dollars, just to vote on pet propositions put forth by our "acting governor" Arnold Schwarzenegger, who apparently is trying to get the voters to agree on what he can't get the (admittedly dysfunctional) Legislature to agree on. A lot of people are resentful about this -- and if they weren't already, the horrible non-stop attack ads on TV (from both sides) would be enough to make anyone hate the electoral process.

There's nothing on the slate that couldn't have waited for the regularly scheduled election in June. And frankly, I was thinking about not even bothering to vote. (Especially because I haven't changed my registration, so voting means I have to go back to Rustic Canyon, which makes it emotionally tough in a weird way.)

.....We have a "housekeeper" (term of choice out here in L.A. for a cleaning woman) who has worked for us off and on for about 10 years. Now she mostly works cleaning the Kodak Theatre (where the Oscars are held) on the night shift, but I called her back in a few months ago when I needed help unpacking and getting settled, since I knew she would know where all our stuff should go.

Natalia still comes in for us occasionally, but has to work her schedule around her always-fluctuating schedule at the Kodak. So when I asked if she could come in this week, she explained that she'd have to come in on Monday, because on Tuesday she's working at a polling place. And she was so proud when she said it.

She'd make more money working for us for the day, I know. But apparently that's not the point.

So I guess I'll go vote...

MAGICAL OBJECTS GALORE: SET-UPS AND PAYOFFS

Let's see if we can flash through the rest of the Magical Objects in Harry Potter, so we can move away from things and back to people in our next post... Again, not in order of importance at all...

Dragon's blood

Dumbledore was the one who discovered the 12 uses of dragon's blood [SS-6]. But we only see it used once: When Slughorn splatters it on the walls of the house he's squatting in to fool Dumbledore into thinking he's dead [HBP-4]. One has to wonder, given the expense of dragon's blood [HBP-4], why Slughorn used it rather than some other sort of random blood. Was it just to remind us that it's out there?

Also, somehow I doubt that one of Dumbledore's 12 stated uses was to splatter it on the walls to make people think you're dead. (Just a guess, here.) So what are the other 12 uses? Will they come into play in Book 7? I actually think they could, given all the emphasis on Potions in Book 6, especially the extreme stress on how Lily was so good at Potions. Not necessary, but if it shows up, it's certainly been set-up. (And perhaps Portrait-Dumbledore will be able to chat about those 12 uses if need be...)

Sneakoscopes

Sneakoscopes seem to be so very sensitive, one has to wonder if they're really all that useful. Harry's "pocket" Sneakoscope (are there different sizes, btw?), a gift from Ron in Prisoner of Azkaban[PA-1], won't stop spinning and lighting up, both on the train [PA-5] and when it breaks loose from its confinement in their dorm room [PA-11]. And Fake-Moody has actually disabled his Sneakoscope because, he claims, it's so sensitive [GF-20].

But with all their annoying properties, it's clear that Sneakoscopes definitely work, despite Bill Weasley's failure to take them seriously [PA-1]. Harry's only goes crazy when Scabbers is around [PA5, 11] -- and he's certainly untrustworthy. And forget what Fake-Moody says about students lying about their homework -- the real reason his Sneakoscope wouldn't shut up has to be because, well, he wasn't Mad-Eye Moody at all!

We've been draggintg that Sneakoscope around for a long time without using it. Maybe Harry will think to put it to use in Book 7. Wouldn't it be interesting to pull it out around Snape, for instance?

Sirius's knife

The knife Sirius gave Harry unlocks any lock and undoes any knot [GF-23]. So far we've only seen it unlock one lock: Umbridge's, when Harry wanted to get into her office to speak to Sirius [OP-29]. Handy thing to have if we have to untie any knots in Book 7.

The Two-Way Mirror

Some people give great gifts, and Sirius Black is/was clearly one of them. Yes, he absolutely should have told Harry what it was when he gave it to him in Order of the Phoenix [OP-24] -- though of course he had no way of knowing Harry wouldn't open the present. (Silly Harry. Let this be a lesson to all kids reading these books: Always open your Christmas presents, kids!)

But we learn what a great present it is/could have been when Harry finally opens it after Sirius's death and reads the note:

"This is a two-way mirror. I've got the other. If you need to speak to me, just say my name into it; you'll appear in my mirror and I'll be able to talk in yours. James and I used to use them when we were in separate detentions." [OP-38]

Harry thinks it's worthless after he tries to talk to the now-dead Sirius with it, and can't (thus underlining JKR's point that death is final and not reversible by magic -- something for all the "Dumbledore-is-not-dead" folks to keep in mind). He throws it in his trunk and it shatters [OP-38].

Now, we know we will see the two-way mirror again. J.K. Rowling practically promised us this in an interview. And since we didn't see it in Half-Blood Prince, that means we've got to see it in Book 7.

"But Harry shattered it!," I hear you exclaim. Yes, but isn't it convenient that he shattered it in his trunk. And given the pigsty that is Harry's trunk, my bet is the pieces are still rattling around in there, ready for Hermione to slap a nice "Reparo" spell on them.

As for the other half -- well, if it went through the veil with Sirius, of course it's now unreachable. But would Sirius really have carried it about with him on his person when he was essentially under house arrest? My bet is that when Harry goes to 12, Grimmauld Place, he'll find Mirror #2 waiting for him. And I'm thinking these visual walkie-talkies, as it were, will be quite handy indeed in Book 7.

The Hand of Glory

I think we've seen the payoff for this already, in HBP [HBP-29]. But what a nice set-up it was, really a throwaway:

"Ah, the Hand of Glory!" said Mr. Borgin, abandoning Mr. Malfoy's list and scurrying over to Draco. "Insert a candle and it gives light only to the holder! Best friend of thieves and plunderers! Your son has fine taste, sir."

"I hope my son will amount to more than a thief or a plunderer, Borgin," said Mr. Malfoy coldly... [CS-4]

And over 2500 pages (and six years) between set-up and payoff. Props to JKR on this one!

The Sorting Hat

Yes, the Sorting Hat belonged to Godric Gryffindor, and yes, Harry is looking for a Horcrux that may have come from Gryffindor... But I don't think it's the Sorting Hat, for one very good reason:

The Hat can talk. And as we see in its song in Phoenix [OP-11], it has a mind of its own. Do we really think it would allow itself to have part of Voldemort's soul sequestered away inside it and not mention it to anyone? I don't.

I'm most interested in the Sorting Hat's ability to read minds. It certainly knows what Harry is thinking when he's Sorted [SS-7]. And it remembers it a year later. If we had access to the Hat in Book 7, could we possibly use it as a form of Legilimency? A long shot, I think, but possible.

The Marauder's Map

Again, I think the Marauder's Map, like the Hand of Glory, has done all it really can do for us. It's helped Harry in and out of a myriad of sneaking-around situations, it's given him a link to his father, it's helped confuse us all regarding Fake-Moody/Barty Crouch Jr. (and given us helpful clues, had we remembered Lupin's statement that "The Marauder's Map never lies" [PA-18]).

But I don't think we'll get much more out of it, especially if we're spending little time at Hogwarts in Book 7. A marvelous Magical Object, though, and one that has given us a lot of great payoffs.

Magic carpets

These are banned in Britain because they're "Muggle artifacts" [GF-7] (but isn't a broom equally a "Muggle artifact"? Just asking). But given Harry's preference for flying over Apparition, and given the probable need for our trio to get places together quickly, we could possibly see them in Book 7. (Although probably they will just Apparate.)

Omnioculars

Someone in the Muggle world has to be working on these right now -- just combine Tivo with binoculars, and you've got 'em. (And I'll buy one!)... The Omnioculars have to be of more use than just watching Quidditch matches [GF-7], and could serve as the visual equivalent of Extendable Ears -- if Harry and Ron can remember they have them when they need them for spying.

Dark detectors

Fake-Moody has a whole raft of cool stuff in Goblet of Fire: Secrecy Sensors, a Foe-Glass, and lots of other unexplained stuff [GF-20]. It makes me wonder: What else do Aurors have available to them?

Dumbledore's instruments

Fake-Moody isn't the only professor with cool stuff in his office. Harry sees plenty of unexplained magical objects when he first enters Dumbledore's office:

A number of curious silver instruments stood on spindle-legged tables, whirring and emitting little puffs of smoke. [CS-12]

What do they all do? Well, we only learn what one does -- and we don't learn all that much. Dumbledore uses one of the instruments to determine something enigmatic regarding Nagini after Mr. Weasley is bitten [OP-22] (I personally think he was using the instrument to determine whether Nagini was a Horcrux).

What else are they good for? Does McGonagall know (if she's even confirmed as Headmistress, which I don't think is a given)? Can Portrait-Dumbledore explain them? Will Harry have access to them? Will they even still work with Dumbledore dead?

Or are they just cool items we will never see again, because to give Harry too many answers too easily would be, well, too easy?

Sirius's motorcycle

I hadn't even thought about the motorcycle, I blush to admit, until someone e-mailed me about it (Beth? Sarah? Regina? I saved the e-mail but now can't find it... sorry!).

But it's a cool Magical Object, set up at the very beginning of the story when Hagrid shows up at 4, Privet Drive with baby Harry [SS-1]. My bet is it's still at 12, Grimmauld Place, waiting for Harry who would rather fly than apparate. A nice visual "step-into-manhood" it would be...

Time Turners

We have definitely seen the last of these. Hermione reminds us in HBP that they were all smashed to bits in the Battle at the Ministry of Magic.

An important throwaway line, that, as it makes sure we can't just say "Hey, let's get a time-turner and go back to before Dumbledore was killed!" And I'm glad, as to have the ability to manipulate time would really detract from the playing out of Harry's story....

.....

The playing out of that story will of course involve many different people -- and we'll start to look at a few of them when we jump from Magical Objects to Wizards in the next set-up/payoff post.

Don't forget, the comment boxes are back! Make use of them!

COMMENT BOXES ARE BACK

I guess it's just to teach me patience that the comment boxes go down (in which case it means they'll go down frequently... sigh.)

But they're back! I've pasted in a few comments that people e-mailed me while the boxes were down. If yours didn't get pasted in, sorry -- I saved them all, but AOL crashed on me a few times (what a surprise) and I lost quite a bit of what I thought I'd saved.

So race down the blog and start commenting! Nothing more discouraging to a blogger than page after page with "No comments" on them.

More blogging tomorrow!

TRUE STYLE

Sometimes the secret in creating something beautiful is knowing when to stop.

I was forced to buy Strunk & White's The Elements of Style my first week as a college freshman. It is still on my bookshelf, lo these many years later. And I still refer to it (and still crib from it when teaching how to write screenplays with style).

It's a good thing there are used book stores out there, though, because it seems they've messed with a true classic. Here's an essay by David Gelernter on the dumbing down of "The Elements of Style."

Sometimes a small issue lights a large landscape like a slash of lightning; for a moment we see society with dazzling clarity. A new edition of "The Elements of Style" has just appeared -- "Elements" is the classic writers' handbook by William Strunk Jr. and E.B. White. The new version starkly illuminates our disrespect for national treasures.

In 1957, White was asked to revise Strunk's decades-old text. White (who had been Strunk's student at Cornell) agreed, and he published two further revisions in 1972 and '79. The result was not merely brilliant, it was beloved: It's never been out of print. White died in 1985. Then the trouble started. A post-mortem revision appeared in 1999; it has just be republished with pictures by Maira Kalman. To mark the new release, a PR volcano erupted. The New York Public Library even staged a musical "Elements." The new version violates what Strunk and White is all about.

The revision was done anonymously. The only new name on the title page is now the illustrator's. And the reviser has been unfaithful to Strunk and White. For starters, he changed White's signed introduction, a short memoir about Strunk -- like reworking a Picasso but leaving the signature. He changed lots of other things too.

According to White, Strunk "felt that the reader was in serious trouble most of the time, a man floundering in a swamp, and that it was the duty of anyone attemptint to write English to drain the swamp quickly and get his man up on dry ground, or at least throw him a rope." The revised version tells us Strunk felt, on the contrary, "that the reader was in serious trouble most of the time, floundering in a swamp, and that it was the duty of anyone attempting to write English to drain this swamp quickly and get the reader up on dry ground, or at least to throw a rope."

"At leastto throw a rope?" Throw it where? To whom? The phrase is vague bordering on meaningless. And White's "get his man up on dry ground" hints at the author's personal responsibility to his reader. Of course these are details. But White cared passionately about the details that make for good writing.

The reviser clearly disapproves of the indefinite masculine -- "he," "man" and so on -- to mean anyone. Fine. Except that White believed the exact opposite, and said so in a rule he added to "Elements": "He has lost all suggestion of maleness in these circumsntances." This very issue caused a sad disagreement toward the end of White's long relationship with the New Yorker, a magazine he more than any other author raised to dizzying literary heights. In 1971, White submitted a piece attacking "gender neutral" writing -- and the New Yorker rejected it. Dog rejects bone.

The latest "Elements" includes clunkers like this: "When repeating a statement to emphasize it, the writer may need to vary its form. Otherwise, the writer should follow the principle of parallel construction." Here's the way it was actually written: "When repeating a statement to emphasize it, the writer may need to vary its form. But apart from this he should follow the principle of parallel construction."

New words enter the language all the time, as Strunk and White tell us: "Youth invariably speaks to youth in a tongue of his own devising." A memorable phrase, taut as a piano string: "youth speaks to youth." Here is the new, "improved" version: "Youth invariably speaks to other youths in a tongue of their own devising." Who would have thought these small changes could do so much damage, like a monkey wrench through a plate-glass window?

Adding insult to injury, the illustrated edition includes a page of credits, dedications, copyright notices and so forth -- each printed separately and placed on the page at strange angles or upside down. Clever. The word "hello" sprawls across the inside front cover in fancy italics; "thank you," "and," "good-bye" appear on three pages at the end.

"Avoid the elaborate, the pretentious, the coy and the cute," say Strunk and White.

When the 1999 version resurfaced in fancy dress, the New York literary world should have thrown a fit. Instead, it threw a party. But what gives anyone the right to tamper with a masterpiece? American authors had a good year in 1957. Would anyone have the nerve to publish a revised version of a story by Malamud, Shaw, Updike, Nabokov? Or an essay by Mailer, Podhoretz or White himself? True, the language changes. But why couldn't the reviser's bright ideas have appeared as notes surrounding the unchanged original?

What should we make of litearti who claim to treasure "Elements" but don't mind seeing it brutally mangled? And here's the larger problem: A society that has no respect for its literary treasures probably -- deep down -- has no respect for itself.

I'm supposed to teach a class on "Writing with Style" for Act One this week... Maybe it's time to pull my 1979 version of "Elements of Style" off the shelf and teach some real style...

MAGICAL OBJECTS: SET-UPS AND PAYOFFS

My review of magical objects isn't arranged in terms of what I think is most likely to be important, or in the order that they appeared in the book -- though either of those would have made sense. No, for some reason now forgotten to me, they are arranged more or less in order of how many mentions we tend to have of them (or at least how many notes I took about them). So that will make them appear, well, pretty random. Hope you find some nuggets in the randomness.

Dark Objects Hidden at the Malfoys'

Apparently Lucius Malfoy has quite the treasure trove of dark objects hidden away at his manor. In Chamber of Secrets, he sells some of his goodies to Borgin at Borgin & Burkes in order to avoid a Ministry of Magic inquiry -- but we learn he has many more sequestered away [CS-4]. Later Draco tells "Crabbe" and "Goyle" (i.e., Harry and Ron under the influence of Polyjuice Potion) that his father has dark objects hidden away in secret in a chamber under their drawing room floor [CS-12].

Several books later, after the acknowledged return of Voldemort and the revelation that Lucius was on the Dark Lord's side, the Ministry of Magic belatedly raids the Malfoy home, but doesn't get much (though Arthur Weasley thinks they got everything dangerous [HBP-7]. Harry, obsessed with Draco, pushes Arthur to go back again. Arthur does so, but finds nothing further [HBP-11].

But it's important to note that the Malfoys held in their possession one of the most valuable dark objects on the face of the earth: Tom Riddle's diary [CS-18], which, we learn much later, actually contained 1/7 of Voldemort's soul:

"...Of course, Lucius did not know what the diary really was. I understand that Voldemort had told him the diary would cause the Chamber of Secrets to reopen because it was cleverly enchanted. Had Lucius known he held a portion of his master's soul in his hands, he would undoubtedly have treated it with more reverence -- but instead he went ahead and carried out the old plan for his own ends: By planting the diary upon Arthur Weasley's daughter, he hoped to discredit Arthur and get rid of a highly incriminating magical object in one stroke..."[HBP-23]

What else does Lucius have hidden away? (Because do we really believe that Arthur, sweet as he is, couldn't be fooled by the devious Lucius Malfoy into missing some hidden items?) Does he have another Horcrux?

I doubt that. I don't think it would have been good planning on Voldemort's part to have two Horcruxes stored in the same location (not just because of potential treachery -- what if there was, say, a fire?). But I don't think we've seen everything the Malfoys have at their disposal. Draco's storyline has a long way to go, and he has been quite busy indeed with dark objects -- the Vanishing Cabinet, the Hand of Glory, the Peruvian Darkness Powder (perhaps not originally a Dark Object, but certainly used for dark means). I think we will see more of what's hidden in that chamber under the drawing room.

The Headmaster Portraits

The portraits of past Headmasters in the Headmaster's office at Hogwarts seem to have a few magical properties that other wizarding portraits do not have. Not only can the Headmasters therein move between pictures at Hogwarts, but they are able to move between the portraits of themselves in different locations, as well as between the pictures in any of those locations [OP-22].

And while the Headmasters seem to spend most of their time sleeping [CS-12] (they are, after all, all dead -- and most likely quite old on top of that), they listen to what goes on in the Headmaster's office [OP-22].

More than just listening, these reflections of the former Headmasters are required to serve the current Headmaster:

"We are honor-bound to give service to the present Headmaster of Hogwarts!" cried a frail-looking old wizard whom Harry recognized as Dumbledore's predecessor, Armando Dippet. [OP-22]

This service can involve running errands, as when Dumbledore asks two former Heads to go to the Ministry of Magic and St. Mungo's and report back what's happening [OP-22], or when he has the reluctant Phineas Nigellus convey a message to Sirius [OP-22].

What's interesting to me is that the former Headmasters not only do what the Headmaster asks as a routine thing, but that they seem to have a real loyalty to him. All the Headmaster portraits witness what happens when Dumbledore hexes Umbridge, Fudge, et al., then disappears with Fawkes. Yet evidently none of them, not even Phineas Nigellus, whom one would think would have no personal reason to side with Dumbledore (coming from the Black family as he does), turns Dumbledore in [OP-27].

But we're not likely to spend much time at Hogwarts in Book 7, so why does it matter what the Headmaster portraits can and can't do? Well, it matters, of course, because of the new portrait added: that of Dumbledore himself [HBP-29].

How much of his living past can a portrait remember? Can Dumbledore's portrait convey to Harry all the other clues and hints about the Horcruxes that Harry never got to hear? Can he finally tell Harry the story of how his hand was destroyed?

We don't have any idea how to answer these questions -- but I think they must be answered in Book 7, given the prominence of the mention of Dumbledore's portrait. Now maybe Harry won't think to go ask the portrait until it's too late (as he forgot the Two-Way Mirror). That, in fact, would be a good way to keep Harry as the hero, no longer the student, in Book 7. (Blocking Harry's access to Hogwarts would be another way.) I believe, however, that this is a set-up that must be paid off -- and I don't say that often.

The Weasleys' Clock

Sigh. I really hope that some of the problems with the Weasley's clock are problems that came up in editing (if anyone has the UK edition and can respond as to whether the same problems exist there, I'd be interested to know).

Problems, you ask? What problems? Well...

When we first see the one-of-a-kind clock, it only has one hand, which points to things like "Time to make tea" or "Time to feed the chickens" or "You're late" [CS-3].

When we next see the clock (and the writing makes it seem as if we're discussing the same clock Harry saw on an earlier visit to the Burrow), it's specified that it's a grandfather clock. The clock now has one hand for each member of the family, pointing to the location or condition of that person (home, work, school, traveling, lost, hospital, prison, mortal peril) [GF-10]. It's clearly this version of the clock that Dumbledore is speaking of so approvingly in Order of the Phoenix [OP-22].

But when we go back to the clock in Half-Blood Prince, it still reflects the location/condition of the family members (all at "mortal peril," however, which seems less than useful) [HBP-6]. But now, Molly Weasley is able to carry it around and prop it in her laundry basket [HBP-5]. Awfully hard to do that with a grandfather clock.

Oops.

Since we're going back to the Burrow for Bill and Fleur's wedding, I do hope to see the clock again. I'd like to know if Fleur's name gets magically added when she marries Bill. I'd also like to see (well, not really) if someone's name disappears from the clock if they die (say, Percy). Also, given the special position Harry holds in Molly's heart (as I blogged in an earlier post), I wouldn't be surprised to see Harry's name up on the clock by the end of Book 7.

Oh, I was going to stop here, but I can't end with what looks like a fairly significant continuity mistake. So let's go on to one more magical object:

Broomsticks

We see a lot of broomsticks throughout the books, of course, and my interest here isn't to discuss the relative quality of the Nimbus 2000 vs. the Firebolt. We'll leave that to the hard-core Quidditch fans.

I just want to note how incredibly great Harry is on a broom. He's a natural. He can fly like a pro without taking a single lesson, indeed, without ever having set, um, butt on a broom before [SS-9]. Even McGonagall is astonished:

"The boy's a natural. I've never seen anything like it.... He caught that thing in his hand after a fifty-foot dive," Professor McGonagall told Wood. "Didn't even scratch himself. Charlie Weasley couldn't have done it." [SS-9]

We've seen payoffs already for Harry's remarkable flying ability, of course, on the Quidditch field naturally, and most impressively, in the first task of the Triwizard Tournament.

But I wouldn't be surprised to see Harry do some seriously important flying in Book 7. We're reminded several times in Half-Blood Prince that Harry prefers flying to Apparition [HBP-18]. I've already suggested that possibly Harry could find Voldemort, should he need to, by flying after an owl.

And there's this little nugget dropped for apparently no reason by Hagrid at Harry's first Quidditch match: Only powerful Dark Magic can interfere with a broom [SS-11].

Why would we need to know that? Could Harry's flying be in for some interference in Book 7?

.....

Okay, that's a better place to end for today. Next HP post, I'll talk about dragon's blood, Sneakoscopes, and other fun things one might find lying around the house. Sure hope those comment boxes come back soon!

HALLOWEEN HUMBLE PIE

Last year I blogged at some length about how I hate Halloween.

This year, I find I have to, um, eat my words.

Because this year, I feel like I totally missed Halloween.

I didn't miss the horrible shopping for costumes one bit, I have to say! No standing for hours in some creepy costume shop filled with canned screams on an endless loop. In fact, this year the kids begged not to go to a Halloween shop, with the memories of last year's fiasco still all too fresh in their minds (this was the place where the highlight was the animatronic zombie that crawls across your front yard, pulls off its own head, and spews blood everywhere).

Instead, nice and early, we logged on to eBay, typed in "boy costume" and scrolled through several hundred choices at our leisure (a big loud "no" to most of them!), before Cory settled on wearing an orange biohazard suit (which he augmented by carrying a McDonald's bag at the end of a grabber -- his version of toxic waste). Sabrina was even easier -- because her teacher carries out a pirate theme in the classroom, she wanted to be a pirate. So we typed in "costume girl pirate," scrolled through the 150 choices that came up, chose one. Point, click, the doorbell rings with the costume.

And I didn't miss going to the pumpkin patch, paying $20 for each pumpkin and standing around for an hour smelling the delightful odor of an overpriced petting zoo. Instead, I palmed the pumpkin chores off on Lee this year. True to form, he waited till the last minute, then stopped at our local organic food store, where they were slashing prices on pumpkins. And we picked up two nice ones for less than $6. Less than Costco last year. And he took care of the carving and the disposal of the glop. Excellent.

And Halloween itself was easier this year because our school decided to have their Halloween carnival the Friday before, due to other activities happening at school on Halloween itself. As a room mom, I had to work the carnival again, but this year we snagged the easiest possible booth (the candy-guessing booth -- we load up canisters with candy, the kids guess and win it).

No, it wasn't till Halloween night that I realized how much I actually missed the holiday I don't even like.

Our old house was in a big Halloween neighborhood, on the one flat (=safe) street in the canyon. All the neighbor kids came by, we chatted, admired costumes, all very friendly.

Our new house, on the other hand, is up in the hills. Way up in the hills. On a twisty, climbing, curvy street. Right off the bat, we knew we would send the kids elsewhere to trick-or-treat. But I stayed home, just in case. Platter of candy by the door, jack-o'-lanterns lit on the front porch.

And no one came by. Not one. Not even the toddlers we know live nearby because we sometimes hear them crying.

Meanwhile, the kids and Lee went off to the street in Halloween that goes all out -- the street where, it turns out everyone goes. Some of these houses clearly spend hundreds and hundreds of dollars decorating for Halloween. The kids ended up skipping some of the more elaborate ones because there were up to 40 kids in line! (Their favorite was the decorated car on the front lawn w/ two Corpse-Bride type corpses in the front seat and a legend across the back reading "Just Buried.")

As it turned out, half the kids' friends from school went to the same neighborhood. Lee kept calling in on his cell to report -- they'd joined up with Michael and Dara and Henry and a ton of other kids, Sabrina had gone off with Sophia and her mother to cover another block for a while, they were going to stay out for another half hour or so because it was just so much fun...

And I sat at home and cried. Just a little. Just wishing I still lived in a real neighborhood, where we knew our neighbors, where our kids played with neighbors' kids, where there was a history and a tradition. (We've been here 5 months, haven't met a single neighbor -- we're in practically the only non-gated house on the street, and next to a school, so really no neighbors to speak of anyway.)

So maybe I don't hate Halloween all that much anymore. Next year, I think I'll blow out the candles in the pumpkins, lock everything up nice and tight... and bundle up to go down to the street where everyone was having so much fun.

SQUAWKBOX DOWN

Yes, I do know my comment boxes are down. The whole Squawkbox site appears to be down at the moment. The last time this happened, it took 2 or 3 days and they magically came back up.

So that's what I'm hoping for this time. In the meantime, thanks to all who have e-mailed me their comments. I'll post them as soon as the comment boxes are back and up, and the dialogue can continue. Thanks!

WEASLEY'S WIZARD WHEEZES: SET-UPS AND PAYOFFS

We run into lots and lots of fun (and sometimes scary) magical objects in Harry Potter, and we've certainly seen through the first six books how they can be set up for future payoff (as witness the Vanishing Cabinet, which I discussed in my first set-up/payoff post, so stealthily set up and so cleverly -- and fatally -- paid off).

So let's take a look at some of the magical objects we may see again in Book 7. They're not in any particular order, so we'll find ourselves bouncing (ferret-like!) all around the books for a post or two. Let's start with...

Fred and George's Inventions

Fred and George Weasley are deceptively talented wizards, and have been so from an early age. Ron tells us that when he was 5 years old (meaning when the twins were approximately 7), they turned his teddy bear into a spider [CS-9] -- pretty impressive magic when we know that many young wizards haven't even produced any magic at that age.

Even Hermione, a pretty tough witch to impress, is impressed by the twins' magic, against her own best instincts. She admits that the Headless Hats, which extend their reach of invisibility past the actual object, are so clever she can't figure them out [OP-24]. Moreover, Hermione calls their Daydream charms "extraordinary magic" [HBP-6]. And let's not forget that Flitwick thought their Portable Swamp [OP-29] was terrific magic as well.

But all that magic being produced for fun can have, as we have already seen, a darker application. Draco Malfoy uses the twins' Peruvian Instant Darkness Powder [HBP-6] as a key ingredient in his plan to let Death Eaters into Hogwarts -- and like most of the twins' inventions, it works all too well:

"--Peruvian Instant Darkness Powder," said Ron bitterly. "Fred and George's. I'm going to be having a word with them about who they let buy their products." [HBP-29]

And Ron's point is well-taken indeed. Fred and George's products work too well in the wrong hands. So let's take a look at the rest of their inventions (that we know about), and think about how they could be used in Book 7.

--Canary Creams [GF-21] -- It's hard to see candy that turns the eater into a giant canary being used for more than fun.

--Extendable Ears [OP-4] -- A very useful invention already, but not one that Fred and George appear to have made available to the public. We certainly won't need them to spy on the Order of the Phoenix, since all our main players will be of age as Book 7 starts -- but we could use them for standard spying as the trio did at Borgin & Burkes.

--Skiving Shackboxes [OP-17] -- A little too Hogwarts-specific, perhaps, to be needed in Book 7. But you never know...

--Weasleys' Wizard Whiz-Bangs [OP-28] -- Frankly, I wouldn't be surprised to see these again in Movie 7, whether they appear in Book 7 or not. Fireworks -- especially of the spectacular (one might even say, Gandalfian) nature of these -- are always worth looking at! Useful for the plot? Probably not. But maybe we'll see them in celebration at the end of the book?

--Punching telescope [HBP-5] -- Given that this item was such a throwaway, and that it was deemed unfinished by the twins, I wouldn't be surprised at all to see it show up in Book 7.

--Bruise remover [HBP-6] -- A handy thing to have, but probably not a player in any future plotting.

--Edible Dark Marks [HBP-6] -- These are cute, and clever in that they help wizards make fun of the Dark Lord (a good way to subtly weaken his power!). They make me wonder if the twins might not go further in this direction -- could they create a faux Dark Mark if someone needed to go undercover? I bet they could.

--Magic quills (self-inking, spell-checking, smart-answer) [HBP-6] -- Again, a little too Hogwarts-specific for future plot, I think. Although I do wonder just which meaning the twins ascribe to "spell-checking"?

--Reuseable Hangman [HBP-6] -- I hope Mattel is paying attention to this one!

--Wonder Witch love potions [HBP-6] -- We've already seen some payoff to these, with Romilda Vane going after Harry (and ending up with Ron!). We've also seen how crafty Fred and George are even in their marketing, as they disguise these contraband items as perfume and cough syrup [HBP-15]. I wonder if the love potion episode with Harry was in itself a bit of a set-up: We now have in our minds the idea that Fred and George's items can be used against Harry. Which should make us think: What else of the twins' could be used against Harry?

--Shield Hats, Cloaks and Gloves [HBP-6] -- Now these are useful! And with the Ministry of Magic already ordering them, I'm expecting that we will indeed see them in use (probably not by the trio) in Book 7. Can't you just see Cornelius Fudge in complete Shield regalia?

--Decoy Detonators [HBP-6] -- A clever invention. And Fred and George already handed a bunch of them to Harry. Hey, if I had a handful of these stuffed in my trunk, I'd sure use 'em.

--Pygmy Puffs [HBP-6] -- Just cute, I think. Although we could see something sad happen to Ginny's pet, I suppose.

And let's not forget:

-U-No-Poo [HBP-6] -- One of the biggest laughs of Half-Blood Prince, right up there with Luna commentating on Quidditch. While I don't read fan fiction, I sure hope someone in the fan fiction world is having fun with this!

....That's all of Fred and George's inventions that I've tracked down -- though I may have missed some. And who knows what they've invented in between books? I do hope we get something glorious from the twins in Book 7 -- the moment where they stood up to Umbridge in Order of the Phoenix was one of the best of all the books, and I think they deserve something truly great (hopefully something that leaves them alive!)...

Next post, we'll meander over to other Magical Objects, including the dark objects hidden away at the Malfoys, those chatty Headmaster portraits, and more....

WHAT MAKES AN OSCAR-NOMINATED FILM?

When I reviewed The Constant Gardener a few weeks ago, I mentioned that it's the type of film that gets Oscar nominations. And someone posted a comment asking what made me say that. (I wanted to paste in the actual comment, and give credit to the actual commenter... but SquawkBox is down as I write this, and I don't have access to it.)

With Oscar season just about upon us, I thought it was worth coming back to this question. What, indeed, does make a film seem Oscar-worthy?

This is not just a question for the Oscar voters, by the way. Studios greenlight movies thinking "Oscar! Oscar!" in the back of their minds -- or, if they're honest enough, they even say it out loud. So clearly they know something about what Academy voters will respond to.

Here, for what it's worth, are my thoughts about what makes an Oscar-nominated film. (I'm talking "Best Picture" here.)

For starters, here's what doesn't win Oscars: Comedy.

Yeah, a few comedies will get nominated from time to time, but no one takes them seriously (no pun intended) in the competition. The same goes for the Best Actor and Best Actress nominations. Most people acknowledge that comedy is more difficult than drama (I think it was John Barrymore, on his deathbed, who responded to someone's comment about how hard it must be to be facing death by saying: "Dying is easy. Comedy is hard."). However, the Academy just doesn't nominate or vote for comedies.

Okay, let's look at the last 20 years of Oscar winners and see what we can find in common:

2005 Million Dollar Baby
2004 The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
2003 Chicago
2002 A Beautiful Mind
2001 Gladiator
2000 American Beauty
1999 Shakespeare in Love
1998 Titanic
1997 The English Patient
1996 Braveheart
1995 Forrest Gump
1994 Schindler's List
1993 Unforgiven
1992 Silence of the Lambs
1991 Dances with Wolves
1990 Driving Miss Daisy
1989 Rain Man
1988 The Last Emperor
1987 Platoon
1986 Out of Africa

So what do these winners have in common?

Well, astonishingly (to this writer who loves writing historical drama, but who can't find a studio willing to read a historical drama), 16 out of the 20 (80%!!!) are period pieces, and arguably, only 2 of those ("Chicago" and "Lord of the Rings") are a genre other than drama. Studios don't buy these types of scripts, they don't greenlight them -- unless they fit into the "Oscar" slot.

Given that the Oscars are American awards, we also see a remarkable number of non-American stories -- 9 of the winners are set elsewhere. And we sure do love those British (and Australian) actors.

It's a truism that actors love to play "exceptional" characters (geniuses, disabled, psychologically disabled, etc.), knowing they have a lock on a nomination -- and sure enough, we seen plenty of winning movies fueled by these performances: "Million Dollar Baby." "A Beautiful Mind." "Forrest Gump." "Silence of the Lambs." "Rain Man."

Finally -- and this one is an absolute guarantee when it comes to placing your Oscar bets -- if an actor directs, he wins Best Director. And his film probably wins Best Picture as well. The actors branch of the Academy is the largest branch and, as has been proven year after year, actors vote for actors. Mel Gibson for "Braveheart." Ron Howard for "A Beautiful Mind." Clint Eastwood for "Unforgiven." Even Kevin Costner for "Dances with Wolves."... Poor Martin "I'll-do-anything-for-an-Oscar" Scorsese didn't stand a chance when up against Clint Eastwood again last year.

"Wait a minute," I hear you say. "What about 'The Passion of the Christ'?" Well, that was emphatically not a studio movie -- and Mel Gibson let it be known that he was deliberately not going to market the movie for Oscar nominations, in effect shunning the Academy. The surprise isn't that the movie wasn't nominated, given the perceived diss to the Academy, it's that it was nominated in categories such as Cinemetography and Score.

"Okay, then," you respond. "But what about Ron Howard's first Oscar shot: 'Apollo 13'? Why didn't he win them?"

It's quite simple. Ron Howard didn't win for 'Apollo 13' because he was up against... another actor. (In fact, Mel Gibson for "Braveheart.")

So why do I say "The Constant Gardener" is Oscar bait? Well, it hits enough of the big "musts": It's a drama. It's (in part) a period drama, because it's told mostly in flashbacks. It's got a heavyweight British lead in Ralph Fiennes. Those elements alone are enough to get it on people's personal "for your consideration" lists. Will it actually be nominated? No, I doubt it. It's not a good enough film, and would need very weak competition to float to the top of the lists.

But you better believe that when it was greenlit, "Oscar Oscar Oscar" was in all the execs' minds.

CENTAURS AND DRAGONS AND OWLS, OH MY!: SET-UPS AND PAYOFFS

I'd like to finish up discussing the set-ups and payoffs regarding Magical Creatures in Harry Potter today. As we wrap up each topic, of course, there are fewer and fewer issues to discuss... but we still have a few juicy thoughts today (I hope).

Okay, let's get started.

Centaurs

Centaurs are smarter than humans [OP-33]. That's made quite clear to us... by the centaurs. Which raises the question: Are they really smarter than humans? Or are we seeing a reverse prejudice? Aided by perhaps a bit of touchiness on the centaurs' parts? (After all, they were certainly fooled by an underage witch pretty easily.)

In any event, centaurs definitely don't acknowledge wizard superiority (whether it exists or not), nor do they acknowledge wizard laws [OP-33]. They certainly don't want to be manipulated by wizards [OP-33]. In fact, as far as they're concerned, even the Forbidden Forest belongs to them [OP-33], and not the wizards at all.

This helps us understand (if not condone) the centaur reaction to Firenze. Firenze has been able to look beyond his kind's prejudice from the beginning, when he allied with humans against "what is lurking in this forest" (i.e., Voldemort), in contrast to, say, Bane, who keeps his prejudice against humans intact [SS-15]. In fact, Firenze is banished from the forest precisely because he steps past this prejudice to work for Dumbledore [OP-27].

And Firenze pays a steep price for his open-mindedness. The centaurs refuse to forgive him for his betrayal, so much so that Hagrid has to stop them from killing Firenze [OP-30].

Will we see a payoff for all this prejudice? I doubt that we'll actually see much more about the centaurs, given that it's unlikely that we'll be at Hogwarts all that much in Book 7. But I could be wrong: We have a lot of wizards-prejudiced-against-other-creatures storylines going on (House-Elves, Giants, etc.) -- but this is really the only place we see other creatures prejudiced against wizards, making it a particularly interesting way to explore the theme. (However -- how much time will we have in Book 7 to just focus on theme, given all the plot to be covered?)

One last thing about the centaurs: What about their ability to foretell the future? Wouldn't it be nice to get a little payoff there?

Well, given their extreme vagueness, I don't think they'll do us that much good, unfortunately. Let's face it, it's not even clear whether the "calm between two great wars" [OP-27] refers to the calm between Voldemort's first attempt to take power and his second, or between the WWII era battle against Grindelwald and the rise of Voldemort.

Werewolves

Other than the understanding we develop for Remus Lupin, we really don't know or hear that much about werewolves until Half-Blood Prince.

But boy, do those werewolves come out of the woodwork then! We learn for the first time that there are a lot of them around, and that Lupin is living with them, trying to win them to the good side of the battle against Voldemort [HBP-16]. We also learn that the werewolves are tending to side with Voldemort, however, because they know he will give them a better life [HBP-16] -- something Voldemort seems to promise to a lot of creatures, but given werewolves' predilections, it seems likely to be quite true in this case, seeing that he's promised them prey.

Most of our expanded knowledge of werewolves, however, focuses on one werewolf in particular: Fenrir Greyback.

Fenrir, we learn, revels in being a werewolf. He considers it his mission to contaminate as many wizards as possible [HBP-16], specializing in children, whom he hopes to train to hate wizards. To that end, he positions himself near his victims as the full moon approaches, the better to attack once he has transformed [HBP-16]. And as we see when he attacks Bill, he will even attack (with less than complete results) when it's not a full moon [HBP-29].

Voldemort is deploying Fenrir well, it seems. He uses Fenrir as a threat against people's children [HBP-16]. And he follows through on that threat at least once in HBP, with the Montgomery son being attacked when his mother refused to help Voldemort [HBP-22]. Fenrir is treated as a trusted lieutenant, apparently, given that he hangs with esteemed purebred families such as the Malfoys [HBP-17].

But Fenrir is unpredictable. Although it's repeated often during the final battle at Hogwarts in HBP that Harry must be saved for Voldemort, Fenrir attacks him -- apparently against Voldemort's express orders [HBP-28].

So as we head for Book 7, we have a dangerous, uncontrollable werewolf on the loose, one whom we just met, and whom we spent a lot of time hearing about in Book 6. I definitely think Fenrir's story is not over. I don't think such a powerful character would be introduced just to savage Bill Weasley and disappear. Will he play a major role in Book 7, or just be a distraction from the bigger battle, an obstacle to overcome, as it were? I would guess the latter, but I do think we'll see him again.

There is one more werewolf-related discussion to have... but we'll hold off on the question of whether Draco Malfoy has been "contaminated" until we discuss Draco on his own.

Dragons

It sure would be nice to see some dragons again. But given that, outside of the Triwizard Tournament, all we've been told about them is that there are two types native to Britain [SS-14], and given that we've been given no set-up to see more specifically of Charlie Weasley, I sort of doubt it.

Sigh. Wouldn't a dragon battle be fun, though?

Owls

We've seen so much of owls throughout HP that we sort of take them for granted. But there's one big, gigantic set-up that we've been handed as almost a throwaway.

We see it clearly when Sirius Black is in hiding, and Harry uses a school owl (rather than Hedwig) to find him [GF-18]. This indicates something important: Any owl can find any wizard.

Think about that. If any owl can find any wizard, then could an owl find Voldemort? My guess is yes.

But what good would that do, you ask, if the owl can't communicate Voldemort's location back to Harry? Well, we've heard Harry say quite a few times that he prefers flying to Apparating. What if Harry followed, say, Hedwig on her voyage toward Voldemort?

If Voldemort hides from Harry and Harry has to find him, we've been given a beautiful, clean, elegant way for Harry to do just that.

Vampires

We finally see a vampire in HBP, when Sanguini (what a great name!) makes his appearance at Slughorn's Christmas party [HBP-15]. Sanguini is almost a comic character here, and certainly not a scary one, so I do think he's here mainly for color and a bit of comic relief. I don't think we'll see him, or any other vampires, again.

But I think Sanguini's presence accomplishes what we might think of as a "meta-purpose": He makes it clear that Snape is not, as many have opined, a vampire or a half-vampire (something J.K. Rowling has weighed in on in interviews as well). Now that we see what vampires are like in JKR's universe, they are as far from Snape in personality as possible -- hopefully putting the question to rest.

Veela

We will certainly see Veela again, given that Fleur's relatives are likely to attend her wedding. But so far the powers of the Veela [GF-8] have been used pretty humorously, and I don't expect to see a lot of Veela floating around Book 7 during the real action of the story.

One question hovers out there, though: What powers does Fleur have (other than making Ron do foolish things)? Could we perhaps see her turn into one of those birdlike monsters to defend Bill (or others of the Weasley family, once she's Fleur Weasley)? Not necessary... but it could be cool!

Other Magical Creatures

Plenty of other magical creatures are mentioned -- Chameleon Ghouls [CS-11], Blood-sucking Bugbears [CS-11] and the like. And once we add in Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, we've got lots to draw from. But JKR has said she won't be introducing new characters for the most part in Book 7 -- and I have to feel that includes new monsters. I think we've seen pretty much all the Fantastic Beasts we're going to see...

From Magical Creatures, we'll next move on to Magical Objects. Stay tuned!

CRAZINESS ACROSS THE POND

Following up on the story about the city of Las Cruces (Spanish for "The Crosses") being sued to remove the three crosses from their city seal, I find similar wackiness going on in England.

In the town of Dudley, city workers were told to get rid of their Piglet figurines and any other "pig" related tchotchkes, because the mere presence of Winnie-the-Pooh's best friend might offend someone... in this case, the one person who posted the complaint.

Is this insanity or what?

And it follows an earlier instance where a British school banned books such as "Winnie the Pooh" and "The Three Little Pigs," again because someone might be offended by the mere presence or mention of a pig.

And isn't it strange how political correctness in the U.S. tends to involve invoking the god of "tolerance".... while, at least in this instance, political correctness in the U.K. seems to involve a lack of tolerance.

I don't get it. In the immortal words of Rodney King, "Can't we all just get along?" I mean, please.

Who knew the Hundred Acre Wood would turn into a battleground?

A GIANT PROBLEM: SET-UPS AND PAYOFFS

We have sure spent a lot of time with the giants in the recent Harry Potter books.

We've spent chapter after chapter on them, what with Hagrid's unsuccessful trip with Madame Maxine as Dumbledore's messengers, their near fruitless attempt to recruit the giants, and Hagrid's return with his half-brother Grawp [OP-20].

Our knowledge of giants, however, is pretty basic. We know they're vicious by nature and hide primarily in mountains abroad [GF-23]. We know they almost killed each to extinction, with Aurors doing their part in killing more of them [GF-23] during Voldemort's first reign of terror. We know that the giants who remained joined Voldemort, and that upon his return he immediately planned to call them back [GF-33].

And that's about all we know. Not much for having spent so much time on them. We don't know how they attack wizards or humans in general, except that their recent attacks on Muggles were interpreted by the Muggles as a hurricane [HBP-1]. We don't know how Voldemort manages to wrangle creatures who seem as intent on fighting each other as fighting any enemy. We don't know how many are left or where they are (other than the small band Hagrid found -- and we don't know where they are, either). We do know there's at least one giant in England -- but are there more? We simply don't know. (And by the way, why is it so hard for the Ministry of Magic to find this one giant? I mean, shouldn't he be pretty easy to find?)

Even the time we've spent with Hagrid and Grawp doesn't tell us much. Grawp can clearly be somewhat domesticated, as we see at Dumbledore's funeral, where he's wearing normal clothes and (quite sweetly) trying to comfort his "big" brother [HBP-30]. But from what we can see, he doesn't seem to have come that far along from when he was grunting "Hermy?" and pulling down trees for fun. (Clearly in giant-wizard matches, the wizard strain of DNA is extremely dominant, if we compare Madame Maxime and Hagrid to Grawp and the other giants we've met.)

So why have we spent so much time on them? Was it all so Grawp could scare off the centaurs and save Harry and Hermione in the Forbidden Forest [OP-33]? That's an awful lot of set-up for really not much payoff at all.

Or was it just to give us another expression of the theme of prejudice? Dumbledore says as much when he tells Fudge to send envoys to the giants:

"The second step you must take-- and at once," Dumbledore pressed on, "is to send envoys to the giants."

"Envoys to the giants?" Fudge shrieked, finding his tongue again. "What madness is this?"

"Extend them the hand of friendship, now, before it is too late," said Dumbledore, "or Voldemort will persuade them, as he did before, that he alone among wizards will give them their rights and their freedom!"

"You -- you cannot be serious!" Fudge gasped, shaking his head and retreating further from Dumbledore. "If the magical community got wind that I had approached the giants -- people hate them, Dumbledore -- end of my career--"

"You are blinded," said Dumbledore, his voice rising now, the aura of power around him palpable, his eyes blazing once more, "by the love of the office you hold, Cornelius! You place too much importance, and you always have done, on the so-called purity of blood! You fail to recognize that it matters not what someone is born, but what they grow to be!" [GF-36]

So what are we to make of all this set-up?

I see three possibilities: (1) We will come back to the giants as part of the wrap-up of Hagrid's story; or (2) Voldemort will incorporate the giants (plural, not just the one seemingly roaming around Britain at the present) as part of his army of dementors, inferi, Death Eaters and other unsavory types, and we will see (or hear about) some major destruction; or (3) the giant storyline is in part what J.K. Rowling was referring to when she said that she had overwritten Book 5 and should have cut down some parts of the story.

My bet is choice no. 3. We sure have had a lot of set-up about those giants, but for my money, they're not that interesting, they haven't been that illuminating even to our understanding of Hagrid's part of the story, and I think they're really a plot and thematic device that got a little out of hand.

But I sure could be wrong -- because the set-ups are there.

Next post, I'll try to wrap up the topic of Magical Creatures -- but we still have a few to go: Centaurs, Dragons, Vampires and more!

A LITTLE BIT OF SHAMELESS SELF-PROMOTION

Residuals are a wonderful thing. "Green envelope days" (our residual checks come in a distinctive green envelope) are among our favorites every quarter. There are some months when the residual check has been what kept the bills paid and food on the table.

So do your part to make a couple of lonely writers happy, and keep those residuals running in... by rushing straight over to amazon and buying your very own copy of the 9-disc DVD set of the first four Batman movies, including, of course, Batman Forever.

We did an interview for this, which I assume is smushed somewhere in all the DVD extras. (Or maybe they cut us, I have no idea, actually -- somehow no one ever seems to list the interview with the writers as a crucial extra... I just don't understand that!) A friend who worked on the DVD says we came out okay in the interview, so we'll just trust her on that.

So go buy your boxed set for Christmas! Or Thanksgiving! Or Halloween!

...Keep those green envelopes rollin' in!

We now return to our regularly scheduled programming.

THE MAGIC OF THE PHOENIX: SET-UPS AND PAYOFFS

As we look at the set-ups and payoffs surrounding magical creatures in Harry Potter, we next come to my favorite magical creature of all: Fawkes.

Phoenixes, of course, have a long, established lore surrounding them, and J.K. Rowling uses much of it in HP, adding to it as well.

We know that phoenixes burst into flame when it is time for them to die, and are reborn from the ashes. This apparently happens often enough to Fawkes that Dumbledore refers to one of his "burning days" [CS-12].

Dumbledore also tells Harry at the same time that phoenixes can carry heavy loads, and that their tears have healing powers. These are both set-ups paid off in the same book, the first when Fawkes carries Harry, Ron, Lockhart and Ginny (easily at least 400 to 450 pounds) out of the Chamber of Secrets [CS-17], the second when Fawkes's tears heal Harry's fatal wound from the basilisk, saving Harry's life [CS-17]. And of course, we also see the power of Fawkes's healing tears when he heals the wound Harry got from the spider in the third task of the Triwizard Tournament [GF-38]. We also see that Fawkes (like the House-Elves) somehow bypasses the apparent proscription on Apparating within Hogwarts, and can appear and disappear with ease [OP-22].

Fawkes, we learn, has the power to heal more than external wounds. His very song provides a deep spiritual comfort and hope. In the graveyard in Goblet of Fire, it is phoenix song that brings Harry hope and that somehow conveys to him "Don't break the connection" between his wand and Voldemort's [GF-34]. One note of Fawkes's song empowers Harry to be able to tell the story of what happened in the graveyard:

The phoenix let out one soft, quavering note. It shivered in the air, and Harry felt as though a drop of hot liquid had slipped down his throat into his stomach, warming him, and strenghthening him. [GF-36].

And it is phoenix song that magically expresses everyone's grief when Dumbledore dies, and which also empowers them to go forward:

Somewhere out in the darkness, a phoenix was singing in a way Harry had never heard before: a stricken lament of terrible beauty. And Harry felt, as he had felt about phoenix song before, that the music was inside him, not without: It was his own grief turned magically to song that echoed across the grounds and through the castle windows.

How long they all stood there, listening, he did not know, nor why it seemed to ease their pain a little to listen to the sound of their mourning... [HBP-29]

Fawkes is also extraordinarily intelligent. He clearly understands English, delivering messages accurately and responding when Dumbledore tells him "We will need a warning" [OP-22]. And note that it is Fawkes who brings Tom Riddle's diary to Harry when Harry is succumbing to the attack of the basilisk at the end of Chamber of Secrets [CS-17]. Harry destroys the diary, which we later learn is a Horcrux containing 1/7 of Voldemort's soul, far more valuable than we could ever have believed -- but he couldn't have done so had Fawkes not brought it to him. Think: How extremely intelligent must Fawkes be to have known to do that!

But these powers are not the most remarkable thing about Fawkes. No, his most outstanding characteristic is his faithfulness.

In Chamber of Secrets, Fawkes brings the Sorting Hat (magically concealing Godric Gryffindor's sword) to Harry, thus enabling him to kill the basilisk, only when Harry express extreme loyalty to Dumbledore [CS-17]. As Dumbledore later tells Harry:

"You must have shown me real loyalty down in the Chamber. Nothing but that could have called Fawkes to you." [CS-18]

Fawkes's loyalty extends to throwing himself into harm's way for his "owner" (not quite the right word for his relationship to Dumbledore...), or for those loyal to him. He saves Harry when he attacks the basilisk in the eyes [CS-17]. He swallows the Avada Kedavra curse that Voldemort shoots at Dumbledore in the battle at the Ministry of Magic [OP-36]. His doing so saves Dumbledore's life and kills Fawkes -- but of course, Fawkes immediately is reborn as an ugly baby phoenix.

Fawkes's loyalty to Dumbledore (and vice versa) is understandable. But one little moment shows us that Fawkes has the ability, the free will, as it were, to choose whom he aligns himself with: When Harry has to tell the horrible story of Cedric's death and Lord Voldemort's return, Fawkes comes to rest with Harry -- not with Dumbledore, as one would normally expect -- and gives him the strength to tell the tale.

So if Fawkes has the power to choose whom he "belongs" to, where will he land next? One would expect he would align himself with Harry, "Dumbledore's man through and through." Harry could sure use him, and after all, he does have a feather from Fawkes in his wand (although of course, Voldemort does too).

But what if Fawkes goes elsewhere? Who else in our story might also be "Dumbledore's man through and through"?

I do expect the highest probability is that Fawkes will end up with Harry. But what if... what if he chose to go to Severus Snape?

If Harry is to recognize that Snape did not kill Dumbledore, that Snape is still on the side of the order of the Phoenix, that Snape is in fact his unexpected ally in the war against Voldemort... could there be a simpler, yet more dramatic way of making that clear than by having Fawkes go to Snape? How could Harry refuse to get that message?

(I am not convinced that Harry will get that message, as I've said earlier. Snape might have to die for Harry for Harry to realize where his true loyalties lay. But if Harry does realize it in time, I think Fawkes will be the messenger.)

Fawkes therefore becomes even more the representative of one of the primary themes of all of Harry Potter: the theme of Loyalty. Ron and Hermione's loyalty to Harry (as shown by their insistence that they will be with him through Book 7). Harry's astonishing loyalty to Dumbledore, even after death [HBP-30]. And Snape's loyalty to... whom?

Dumbledore may be dead. But I would stake anything that Fawkes did not disappear with him. Fawkes will be back in Book 7, as an aide, as a comforter... and very possibly as a messenger of loyalty.

AND THE WORLD GOES CRAZY....

Two little pieces of news that had me gaping today. One from each side of the Atlantic.

The Dutch Language Union, the official organization which sets the rules for Dutch language usage in The Netherlands, Suriname, and Belgium, has decreed that hencefore, the word "Christ" will be written with a lower-case "c." Really. Check it out.

Yeah, yeah, they've got some convoluted reasoning for it that seems to work for them. And sure, people can be skeptical and say, oh, they're just trying to boost the sale of textbooks, which will all have to be reprinted. But come on.

Here's my question: Are they changing the spelling of "Allah"?

Okay. Closer to home now.

The city of Las Cruces, New Mexico is facing a lawsuit regarding their city seal... reminiscent of a similar situation here in L.A. which I blogged about here. (By the way, it was hard to find a link for the Las Cruces story, which seems to be all over conservative blogs but hardly anywhere else -- it took a while to find a hard news source for it, so I could be sure I wasn't passing on an urban legend...)

The Las Cruces lawsuit asks that the city remove three small crosses from their city seal. It also charges violations of the Civil Rights Act in making people fill out job applications for the city that have this "discriminatory" symbol on them.

Let's all check our grade school Spanish. Doesn't "Las Cruces" mean... um... "the crosses"?

....Isn't gross distortion of language one of the signs of the Apocalypse?

SET-UPS AND PAYOFFS: GOBLINS

Boy, those goblins are revolting.

We're heard about goblin rebellions in just about every Harry Potter book, beginning in year 1 [SS-13]. The goblins rebelled in 1612 (a rebellion that included particularly "vicious" riots), using the Hogsmead Inn as their headquarters [PA-5]. But that was just the beginning, because there were multiple goblin rebellions in the 17th century [GF-15], followed by goblin riots in the 18th century [OP-31]. We also know that the goblins wanted to attended the first International Confederation of Wizards somewhere in that time, but they were ousted [OP-7]

So what's the status of the goblins now? Well, they may not have been accepted as equals by the wizards, but they sure could control the entire Wizarding World if they wanted to, given that they seem to pretty much run the wizarding economy. They run Gringotts [SS-5], and as Ludo Bagman knows all too well, they also run what appears to be a variety of loan-sharking and betting operations [GF-26,37]. Let's face it, if the goblins wanted to, they could tie the wizarding world up in one big knot.

But would they want to? So far, they seem to be working just fine with the lawful wizards, the Ministry of Magic and whatnot, having even tightened security at Gringotts after Lord Voldemort returned to his body [HBP-6]. The Ministry of Magic has a Goblin Liaison Office [GF-7] (headed, we learn, by one of Slughorn's former students [HBP-4] -- what a surprise). And things seem okay.

It's unclear, however. Maybe they would align with Voldemort:

"They're not giving anything away yet," said Bill. "I still can't work out whether they believe he's back or not. 'Course, they might prefer not to take sides at all. Keep out of it."

"I'm sure they'd never go over to You-Know-Who," said Mr. Weasley, shaking his head. "They've suffered losses too. Remember that goblin family he murdered last time, somewhere near Nottingham?"

"I think it depends what they're offered," said Lupin. "And I'm not talking about gold; if they're offered freedoms we've been denying them for centuries they're going to be tempted. Have you still not had any luck with Ragnok, Bill?"

"He's feeling pretty anti-wizard at the moment," said Bill. "He hasn't stopped raging about the Bagman business..." [OP-5]

So... the goblins could rebel. Or maybe not. We've got clues both ways. Love that ambiguity!

In a sense -- oh please please don't take me wrong for referring back to historic racism in this way -- the goblins of HP stand in the place of 19th century (and previous) views of the Jews: They can keep in the ghettoes, and they can handle the money. But nothing else. (And a less strong way, the House-Elves hold the same position as black slaves in the 19th century in America: They do the housework happily and despite their natural talents, have grossly inequal status in the wizarding world. The parallel is here is much less strong, and probably forced on my part, because, of course, J.K. Rowling is not writing out of an American tradition in any way, shape, or form.)

So, despite the set-ups, I doubt the goblins will rebel in book 7. Let's face it, we haven't even met a goblin that we could say we "know." No, I think the goblins are here primarily here as a thematic arrow pointing to the ever-running theme of prejudice. If they do play any greater part, I think it will only be in a way that reflects that theme.

Okay, so goblins aren't the most enlightening topic. But for the sake of completeness, we had to cover them. Next post we'll move on to someone much more fascinating: Fawkes.

THE NOT-SO-AMAZING RACE

What has happened to The Amazing Race this season?

The "Family Edition" seemed like a good idea. Heck, it seemed like such a good idea to us that we applied. (We didn't get on. Obviously.)

But it's not working out so hot. I think the teams of four are just not working out. Because there are so many people to interact with within each team, the teams don't seem to be interacting much.

And maybe it's because they have to tone the Detours and Roadblocks down because of the underage kids on the race, but boy, are they boring. When we went to a racetrack on Tuesday night, the teams ripped their clues which said "Take a lap around the track" or something to that effect, and they all thought right away that they'd be driving a real race car. Now that could have been interesting. Instead, they rode (slowly... separately... no "race" element involved) around the track on a weird bicycle-built-for-four. They were all disappointed. And lemme tell you, so were we.

And what's with still being in the U.S. after all these weeks? The first episode I thought, okay, sure, let's go cross the Delaware like Washington did. That's sort of cool. But it's getting boring. I don't watch The Amazing Race to "see America first." I watch it to go to cool, exotic, faraway places that I will most likely never get to in real life.

This week, teams had to find clues in empty mobile homes and at a gas station. Excuse me? Why should I watch a TV show to get to see a gas station food mart? That's not "appointment viewing"! I want the Taj Mahal! I want Victoria Falls! I want the Eiffel Tower! I want the Hermitage! I want the Great Wall of China! ....A gas station? Pathetic.

Are they just being cheap? Is that the reason for all the camping (they had to camp out in those empty mobile homes)? Or is it an insurance thing? At any rate, they're taking this long-term big-time fan of the show... and they're boring me. (And not just me. Lee won't even watch. He wanders through once or twice an episode now, saying, "They're still in the U.S.?")

One other thing. I'm not one to point fingers and say Christians are being persecuted or even made to look bad by the media. (I think enough Christians make themselves look bad all by themselves often enough, thank you very much.) But....

The Weaver family has been taking a lot of heat from the other teams. This is a family from Florida that consists of a recent widow and her three kids. They are very competitive, play hard, but as far as we've seen, they haven't been mean, they haven't cut people off, they haven't played unfair in any way.

Yet on this last episode, we heard repeatedly from other teams about how much they hate "the Florida team" (incredibly small of those teams, by the way -- you know that racetrack Roadblock that was so boring? Well, the dad of the Weaver family worked on a pit crew and was killed on a racetrack -- so that was a Roadblock that was easy for everyone else, painful for them).

Why so much hatred for this team? What could possibly justify it?

Well, when the Weavers started the episode, as they drove out, one of the kids said a prayer for protection and whatnot. The editors chose to include that, out of all the hundreds of hours of footage available. And then they contrasted it with all this "we hate them" verbiage from the other teams. Are we supposed to think that, because the Weavers are Christians, that makes it acceptable to hate them?

Maybe I'm being paranoid. But, again, given the amount of footage involved, why? (Or is it just that the show has become sooooo boring, the editors have to create some kind of drama even where none exists?)

I'll hang in there. I'm too big a fan not to. And besides, in the "next week on" at the end of the show on Tuesday, they hinted that they're finally leaving the U.S.

We can hope.

SET-UPS AND PAYOFFS: MAGICAL CREATURES

Let's talk first about House-Elves.

House-Elves, humorous as they may appear to us, having met Dobby as their first exemplar, nevertheless have an astonishing amount of magical power for servants.

First, as we are all very aware, House-Elves are able to do the seeming impossible: They can Apparate and Disapparate around Hogwarts. This is explained as being necessary for them to do their duties. Okay, fine. But they also (probably) can Apparate into Hogwarts (as Kreacher does when Harry sends him there in Half-Blood Prince [HBP-3]) and out of Hogwarts (as Dobby does after Harry frees him [CS-18]).

House-Elves' magic is not limited to Apparition, however. Dobby is able to bewitch a Bludger to chase Harry in Chamber of Secrets [CS-10]. House-Elves even have power over wizards: Winky is able to "bind" Barty Crouch at the Quidditch World Cup [GF-35]. Dobby is able to knock Lucius Malfoy down the stairs as soon as he is no longer in Malfoy's service. [CS-38] And all this without a wand.

We learn, in fact, that House-Elves aren't permitted to use wands [GF-9]. Which raises the question: What if they could? How magnified could their powers be? Let's put a pin in that intriguing thought and move on to how House-Elves are treated by wizards.

And the answer to that is: In general, not very well. In fact, the very first thing we learn about House-Elves is that they not treated as equals to wizards [CS-2]. While they were admittedly treated worse when Voldemort was in power [CS-10], and while at least those 100 or more House-Elves who work at Hogwarts appear to receive decent treatment and be happy [GF-21], their very identity (and even their name!) is tied up in the fact of their servitude. And even though they have virtually no independence, they can still be convicted of crimes, with the Ministry of Magic predisposed, as in Hokey's case, to suspect them [HBP-20].

That servitude (Hermione would call it slavery) has some pretty severe limitations on it. A House-Elf is bound to serve one family forever, unless freed by that family. They are bound to keep that family's secrets so strongly that, even when freed, they find it hard to break that bind [GF-21]. (Although, as we see when Kreacher leaves 12, Grimmauld Place, they can find ways to work around this if they really try [OP-37]). Which raises the question... what could Dobby say about Lucius Malfoy? Does he have information Harry might need? Or what could Kreacher say about Sirius... or about Regulus? Or about that locket we found when cleaning 12, Grimmauld Place? Will Harry ask?

With this treatment, it's perhaps not surprising that Hermione, who doesn't share the taught-from-birth prejudices of the wizarding world, comes up with S.P.E.W.(the Society for the Promotion of Elvish Welfare) in response to what she views as gross injustices heaped upon the House-Elves. S.P.E.W., despite Hermione's buttons, despite her knitting hats galore, never catches on.

But boy, we sure spent a lot of time on it, didn't we? Why, I have to ask? Was it just a tangent? Was it just comic relief (perhaps not all that comic)? Was just a thematic detour, to point us to the continuing issue of prejudice, reflected in the main plotlines as pureblood vs. half-blood vs. "mudblood"?

I'd like to hope (though I wouldn't make a firm prediction on this) that we'd see a further payoff to S.P.E.W., and to the situation of the House-Elves in general. Putting together their absolute obedience to their masters with the power that can (but are not necessarily allowed to) wield, I have to ask: What if the House-Elves fought for the Order of the Phoenix? Voldemort is raising various armies. It would seem that the Order might have one practically ready-made.

But will anyone think of it....?

Next post, let's go underground with the Goblins...