blessed

and i just feel about updating this. i feel blessed ;) the feeling of releasing something that was so rough, so black and dark. i had enough. and i think we had enough. white flag just hit the sky. and all i can see is the bright sunshine. i can feel the air so fresh. i can hear green grass blow by the wind in  a wide field.. calm and peaceful ;)

still awake. dont know what else to do. no idea of watching any interesting movie. i just browse here and there. just watch 'vampires suck' last evening and that was super suck vampire. haha kinda fun. silly movie though. not so good to watch, but ok larr. i'm still waiting for GG season 4 episode 10. they still dont release it yet huh? Juliet with her little army in taking down Serena. lol. goddamn drama. full of conflicts. chaotic. hope they will fail in taking down Serena. u go girl!

ok i really need tido. now jue. nite.

i love weekend

coz everyone is cutiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. everyone will be at home. and of  course i can loose myself a little bit. have some space for my own self. yay! so today pagi2 lagi went to mydin USJ for shopping barang rumah =) but a bit kalut with aryan and sara. yang tu lapa, yang ni taknak duduk dlm stroller. haih pening. semua kena rush and rush. alert all, you all gonna face it when you married and have kids. trust me. haih. looking at along condition, i feel scared to have own family. honestly said, we have plenty time for our own self. tu pun dah ada bibik. kalau takde bibik? you answer it.

now i'm home alone. everyone is out to bbq party and i'm not joining coz i wanna rest. period pain plak tu. so no mood to go out and mingle. the pale face shows everything. lol. so nak klua dating pon, amir's out of the city. had working in JB now but i guess he's preparing to get back already. and tomorrow is the day. goin out with him before his semester begin which is on this monday =)

can't wait for tomorrow. let's hit the cinema!

p/s: hey apple tv cool gila! bro in law just bought it

something

since along has back to city. i mean since she move on with her family, aryan n sara here from singapore. i realize that i lose something in life, but i am rewarded with a lot of things. yes, since they are here, i lose a part when i use to hang around with boyfriend so much and even with friends. doesnt mean that i lose it all, but now i got the limits. i just dont understand. its not that along is so strict coz i'm the one who determine it. to choose whether to stay at home or hostel and to choose whether to go out or not. and i choose home and not to go out so frequent. and when at home, i think its my responsibility to take a good care of them, aryan and sara. to monitor the bibik as well. as though, things happen yesterday as i saw bibik was doing something to sara. God knows how it feels. i cant trust her anymore. i cant barely feels like leaving home with sara and her at home alone. beratnya rasa tu. yeah since along start working now. the children just left with bibik and me. and thank God bro in law working at home, but he still cant take his eyes on the children as he has to work and deal with client and lots of meetings. ok, weird huh. meeting semua through phone and internet. just me and the children. i cant even imagine when my semester begin. how about the two of them. sedih sgt tgk bibik push sara macam yesterday. and i really2 shock and yell at her, 'mia, kamu buat ape tu?!!' and dengan berlakonnya, dia cakap, '(sambil ketawa) geram sara ni comel'. kepala hotak kau. aku nampak kau penyek pipi dia sambil dia isap puting. agak2 la. sambil henjut buaian kuat2 tekan atas perut die. kesian sara.. she's just 3 months. how could she understand. i cant take care of both since i have to look for aryan. hm.. dah bagitau along pasal ni.. she said she will seat back and talk to bibik. dia ingat dia boleh pijak kpale kite. kau dah untung sgt dapat majikan mcm kitrg ni. sumpah sgt marah.

and that's it. the huge responsibility that i hold. tengok the children membesar. kadang2 marah juga kat aryan sebab dia tak denga. xleh duduk diam. he's so hyper. but i guess he still dont understand. marah pon x guna. later he will understand. ah serba sedikit i feel the feeling of a mother in raising their children. mmg penat, kecewa kalau tgk anak kita x boleh denga cakap. betul. i can really feel it coz they seems like my own children. i really2 love them. because of them, we use to get into fights, i mean me and amir. that was so sad :( i really hope he understand, but i cant ask for that. coz that's what he not suppose to get from me. i feel sorry but i can't fulfill all. for now, i feel so frustrated for everything. i have everything, but i'm losing something huge apart from myself
:(

here i am

blogku bersawang lagi.. since balik kampung hari tu, malas betul nak blogging coz few things to do rather than doing this. last friday, i was working at the curve celebrating the first anniversary of everyone connects. i'm a part of the crew. suddenly there was an emergency call from umi that grandma was very sick and she cant hold any longer. her last breath was at the night too.. she passed away when i was just finish my work at 10pm.. since 2 more days to work, i chose to back off. we went back during the night too. since everyone was so tired, jue, along and bro in law, we keep on switch driver. lol. and there were my turn. i drove from bentong to gua musang. and that was my first time experience, with heavy rain and dark road. macam tak percaya. umi dengan wan terkejut ok........ sampai je rumah mmg terbungkam penat. 

after a short sleep, we went to pay our last visit to grandma.. she looked so tiny and thin :'( i really missed her.. selesai je mandikan and pakai kain kapan, all of us turn by turn saying our last goodbye to her. i kissed her forehead and cheeks. rest in peace grandma.. :'( alfatihah

selesai yg tu, baru la rasa macam tak sangka. hey i was at my hometown! finally... :) walaupun balik dua hari lepas raya haji, kira balik raya jgk la tu. hm.. best sgt dpt makan masakan umi, and kelantan food is the best and marvelous. and there it goes, balik time. rasa macam taknak balik je. but i have to, since ada toddler and baby, aryan and sara to take care of. macam2 jadi kat diorg ni on the way back to KL. aryan muntah, sara slide jatuh kusi. haha. tapi comel sebenarnya. i cant even imagine when the time i have my own babies, once God granted us to have one or even few of children. insyaAllah. :)

now here i am, in my room updating this kinda lame stuff into my blog. i hate blogging anyway. but i have to since i love reading all the post from me. yeah kinda lame as well. but thats the truth. i love it. 

current mood : frustration. 

ok nak tengok vampires suck. mari.

blame it on me

i admit it. things were never seems like before. before, we have lots of time being together and eventually there comes the borderline of it. i have family here and i admit i seems ignoring you, but that doesn't mean i have to lose you. it's just the fact that i want to have you by my side for good and bad. and all i'm asking here is your fully support and your trust. right there you stood still. but what i get is just a tease all the time, you'd always been against me while i admit all was from me, my fault. so, blame it on me. and i've almost forgot when was the last time i burst into tears, but tonight, i did. thanks. :'(

I'm just simply happy

With a pretty nephew and niece, and a cool family, plus best boyfriend i had, i can never ask for more.. Thank u Allah.. :) life's getting better huh jue? Yup! Alhamdulillah..

Currently on our way back to city after such awesome hols in singapore. Cool yaw! Hey along's ipad is so cool. I wish i could own 1, but i couldnt afford to. Tkpe laa.. Paw paw along punye je la next time. Kehkeh. I guess this should be aryan's new toy. Haih budak2 zaman sekarang.. What can we expect, in such single touch world. Semua nak pakai touch touch dah skarang ni. Touch for a necessary need je ok.

Ipad oh ipad. Ur cool man! I guess i should get iphone asap before ipad. Iphone pon tkde lg. Next sem is a sure! Mintak sponsorship dr umi, wan, along, angah, and from my own saving. Yay! That is promising. Loan mudah dan cepat gitu.

Best nyeeeeeeeee. I feel rejuvenated after the tense of study thingy. Like. Seriously. Vacay at singapore, meet new family yang sebaya and gile2 like me make me feel excited and pillow talk (and i was the 1 who fall asleep. Great) was super awesome. I love that since i never had chance like that in my whole life with cuzies. Yeah since almost of our cuzies are not at our round age and thry live apart from us).

Yet i'm pointless already. I just had an awesome vacay! Nnt update gamba once i hit home. Daaaaa

nak jadi duta

bukan duta kecantikan atau duta yun nam hair care, tapi duta APEC seantero asia. duduk kat service residential, hari2 room service datang tuka cadar, cuci rumah, basuh pinggan, doing laundry, travel a lot with first class treat, everything is fully sponsored. bahagia tak hidup? saya pon nak!

jue dah sampai singapore, stay rumah uncle abg nan. saya nk jadi mcm uncle dia! hmm.. jom ke robinson warehouse sale!

merdeka!

alhamdulillah.. sem ni berakhir dgn satu keluhan kepuasan. sem yg penuh cabaran dan buatkan jue nampak di mana letaknya jue dalam bidang ni. perlu asah lagi bakat terpendam seiring dengan ilmu yg masih perlu digali dalam2. yeah! dalam beb. ok la, now i really wanna say it out loud, MERDEKA! we did it kawan-kawan! thanks to our beloved lecturer Madam Norzalifa for always giving her best commitment, raise our spirit when we feel down and pushing us hard through the semester and we manage to reach your target. so much input we had with you, and not to forget all the fellow lecturers. you all awesome! (jauh beda dgn previous lecturers yg macam *&^%)

so dah merdeka dah sebelum masuk chapter baru. next sem punya project, museum and hotel. let's rock bali! nak research dari sekarang, boleh? huhu! ok la i'm off to singapore with aryan and sara. baibai ;)

make me into 3

good morning! its 8:25 in the morning. and i'm still awake working on CAD drawing and right now, blogging. have a break for a while lah. eh jue still working on her work? nahhhh, work can never finish. i wish i'm a rich man wife, goyang kaki at home, doing shopping stuff a lot, travel all over the world, and having a perfect life with husband. ok that's every girls dream lah. i can never wish for that, i only pray that he can be the rich man i want. insyaAllah he will coz i believe in him.

i always stuck in the middle. i wanted to hang around with friends, have a date with boyfriend, spend my quality time with family, especially with aryan and sara. how can i afford to commit everything in a plenty of time. oh i wish i can replicate myself into 3 so that i can make everyone happy.

as a girlfriend of a person, you know, you have limits in everything. its not that i'm asking for freedom, but i know my limits in mingle with people. yeah, it's been 9 years and i know how to take care of myself to the limit that i create myself. but sometime, relationship might somehow affected with what we already rule. i mean the limits that we create. ah its complicated. i really wanted to satisfy everyone, but you can only have one juhairah, the girl who always taking care of others first rather than herself. i hope you can bear with it, but today we end up quarrelling again, and believe me, i felt so pissed off than you can ever imagine. a serious heartache. 

i wanted to hang around with friends. i really2 wanted to spend a lot of time with boyfriend and family. how i wish for that. its a life baby. now, please replicate me.

bibbidip bibbidip boo.. tada! oh gagal me'replicate. jadi la seorang jue. yada~

little missy sara

ni gambar pasport sara :D

comel kan die? sebijik macam muka mummy die masa kecik

comel sangat sara ni.. sumpah geram nk penyek penyek!

suka bau baby sara!

esok lusa sara nak gi singapore, cik jue nak join. mari!! 

sedih plak tak dapat join 5belas kat taylor. camne ni..

MSID or singapore? hmmmmmmm

kehidupan harian saya

i realize that after the studio submission, i havent blog! apa dah jadi! culture shock utk enjoy my quality time to rest as much as i can, mind and body. and even so lazy to solve for a simple question! otak jadi malas berfikir. padahal ada 1 lagi submission. wake up jue! move ur lazy ass to do ur work!

a routine with my family. that's all. wake up in the morning (sometimes terbabas jgk), breakfast, taking care of nephew and niece instead of monitor the bibik, watch tv, sometimes went out with aryan n amir and old friends, makan, surfing, sorority life, that's it.

my family were here since last 3 days and just got back this morning. i missed them :( semalam had a night out for a movie, even no excititing movie at a moment. RED, Retired Extremely Dangerous, like, seriously, motif kau buat citer tu?? instead of humor, the storyline is like xde motif. huhu. but ok la, it's funny movie but the action element sgt baguuuussss. ok that was at night. the day was totally hectic, it's ayik's wedding at pusat komuniti, damansara heights, and i was to perform a song, ok, 3 songs actually. i was so relief after such a kalut moment, i did it well. and everyone was like saying, 'sedap la suare', 'nak sign?'. semua orang penat sebab keep their eyes on aryan. he was soooo hyper. penat.

heeeyy, iklan penaja, cerita 'chinta' kat tv3 best gilerrrr.. i finally finish watching all the series (1-24) at www.tv3.com.my. tak tido youuuu utk habiskan all the series. everyone, tgk la citer tu. fasha sandha pandai sgt berlakon. tak saba nak tunggu the next episode this evening. petang ni mesti tgk ;)