If something "goes without saying," why do people still say it?

Dear Mommy Who Cut in Line at Rhyme Time This Morning,

It seems you think that your Precious Progeny will end up in juvie unless he experiences a Perfect Childhood Moment such as Rhyme Time at our local library. While the jury is out on that, I can report that he will probably end up in juvie ANYWAY because of YOUR piss poor attitude.

LYLAS (Not),
Unimpressed

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Dear Bitchy Dry Cleaning Lady (Morning Shift),

That’s it. You’ve snarked on my husband for the last time. When I commented that I had spaced bringing the clothes over the weekend and then you remarked that after all, they were HIS clothes, THAT was the last straw. My husband works his ass off 7 days a week - I force him to take holidays. We don’t need your shitty attitude and apparently, you sure as hell don’t need our business. Sadly, I will miss the Afternoon Shift lady because she was awesome.

Sincerely,
Not Pressed

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Dear Comcast No Speed Internet,

Starting off my Monday with no access to the Blue Nowhere pisses me off. I’ve had boyfriends more reliable than you. This is not a compliment.

Yours truly,
Depressed

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Yes, we made it into Rhyme Time, but there were others waiting before that gal who did not make the cutoff limit. What gets me is that there is a 11:00 am session RIGHT AFTER the 10:15 am one. And the dry cleaning lady? GRRRR.... Sure, I can gripe about my husband, but Random People CANNOT. And the thing that pisses me off the most is that I never complain about bringing the dry cleaning! I don’t know where she gets her attitude from. Sooo.... now that those Rancid Rants are outta my Pants.............

So, Kiddies, the word for today is BACKWARDS. Arun has been navigating the stairs for quite some time now (Rancid Child Safety Tip: Put your gate at the bottom of the stairs on the 3rd or 4th step, then your baby can learn how to safely go up and down.) He’s recently discovered that he can parlay this skill into just about anything now - whenever he comes to anything that has the slightest hint of Height or Slope, he works himself into a backwards position and down he goes - be it couch, bed, slide or hill. I think the best is when he works himself down the slide. You think of a slide as FUN, right? WHEE! and all that, right? Watching an 11 month old seriously work his body around to navigate to just the right position for Launch is entertainment indeed. Yeah, he giggles as he actually descends, but Assuming the Appropriate Sliding Position is WORK, folks.

So, X is in California right now. He comes back tomorrow morning and turns right around to leave for India in the afternoon. He will only be gone for a week. He’s missing the Halloween party, but will make the actual date for Arun’s birthday. I am usually okay with X traveling, but am a little anxious about this international travel. Also, I am very spoiled, X and I talk on the phone throughout the day, regardless of where he is - Telephonically Speaking, we are a Velcro Couple. So, even though he will have his Sprint phone with him while he is in India, the conversations will be limited because it will be too damned expensive to report on every little thing going on.

Before I had a kid, I use to refer to X’s travels as Husband Vacations. Now that we have a kid, it’s a different ballgame and it’s not because it’s more work. In truth, it’s maybe a little less work because Arun goes down in his crib in the evenings a lot more smoothly when X is gone. I also don’t have to worry about meals and such (as evidenced by the recently stocked freezer of Boca and Morning Star meals - my guilty pleasure has always been Frozen Food, not Fast Food). I’ve got the DVR at MY Whim’s Mercy - no compromises necessary. I can even burn incense day and night (X HATES incense. Isn’t that against the Law of the Land of Curry or something? Don’t they take away your bindi or loongi or something if you are an Indian and don’t like incense? WTF?) Anyway, I am going to really miss X - a few minutes conversation here and there isn’t going to cut it.

Speaking of TV, I am tired of Network Television breakin’ my heart. I am ever so weary of investing my heart and soul and most importantly, Precious DVR Space on a show then watching it get CANCELED a mere 3 episodes into the season. HUH? WTF? Smith got canceled? DAMN IT.

Finally...........Rancid Home Improvement Tip: Got a worn out screw hole? (I just sniggered, did you?) Anyway, I was fixing our screen door because the screws had come out of the doorframe and the holes are slightly stripped. I was going to just buy the next size up of screw, but the helpful guy at Lowe’s suggested using a small bit of TOOTHPICK for each hole. I’ll be damned if it didn’t work!

Swingin’ Single

Going.....

Going.....

Gone.

How could I resist?

I've always known that when I had children myself, that I would take full advantage of that fact and dress up for Halloween with them. I come by it honestly since my own dad usually dressed up with us. SO, I decided that I wouldn't mind getting a nice costume with some appropriate accoutrements. And here is what I came up with:

After all, All Things Harry Potter will always be classic. A worthy investment in my Halloween Future, no?

Why do you have to "put your two cents in" but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going?

I think my DVR is pissed at me. It's been working SO hard lately, and here I am, just letting things pile up. It's normal for me to record WAY more than I would watch at the beginning of the TV Season because I like to try out as many shows as possible. Furthermore, this season is getting out of hand because there are quite a few good Guilty Pleasures out there. However, I can't spend every weekend catching up, so little by little, I'm giving shows the old Heave Ho. The first to go was Men in Trees. Next up was Survivor - I will try to catch this live when possible, but the Ugly Betty and the Office/My Name is Earl combo gets precedence. Thanks to Zoot, The Class gets another week's pass. I think Jericho is going to bite the dust. The frustrating part of that show is that I fast forwarded through much of last week's episode, could still follow the storyline and AM STILL curious as to what's going on. Anyway......

I've noticed something - I always say I LOVE to cook, yet I only cook a full "traditional" meal a few times a week. I think that is probably why I do love to cook because when I DO cook, it is something special and that makes it fun. If I had to cook every night, maybe I wouldn't enjoy it so much, eh? Anyway, this week I made a sweet potato erisheri - I've referred to this recipe before using pumpkin (link is here). This was my first time making it with sweet potato and I have to say I liked it better that way. Furthermore, I didn't feel like messing with the mung beans, so I left them out to no ill effect. In other words - leave out the beans if you are in a hurry. I also made a meen molee with pomfret. I've never used pomfret before and really, really liked it. It's a hearty fish that can stand on its own, but isn't too rich. With all the coconut milk in the molee a rich fish can become too much.

I've also noticed something else. Apparently, Arun doesn't like North Indian food. Whenever we eat out, he turns all White Kid on us and won't have anything to do with what we give him. I can sometimes get him to do aloo gobi, but that's about it. When we are at home? He gobbles whatever we give him - for example, he LOVED the meen molee from Monday. Of course, I primarily cook South Indian and specifically, Keralite, at home. X verily beamed with pride when I pointed this out to him. I don't know which was sweeter, the Malayalee pride bursting forth from X or watching Arun steadily shove pieces of fish in his mouth.

So, I finished the book Mommy Wars. It was a great read! However, approach this book like you would one on religion. I suspect Both Parties come away from this book believing even more fervently in their point of of view. I wanted to read it to get the perspective of women who continue to pursue careers in conjunction with motherhood. I expected that I would feel wistful towards my "working" days, but I did not. I see this time with Arun as temporary - before I know it he will be in pre-school, then kindergarten, then high-school and then just plain gone. For the first time in my life, I feel like what I am doing really matters and this is a lesson I am taking to heart. While Arun is growing up, I am viewing this time as a personal sabbatical for me to figure out what I will do next. For damned sure, I don't want to go back to software development, data security or anything accounting related. I want to do something that makes a Difference. I have some ideas, but nothing for sure and I am not in a hurry. This plan also worked out quite well for my step-mother, so I have a good example to follow. She just recently pushed her career in a new direction, finished her Master's this year and just accepted a brand-new position in this new career that she is very excited about - all after staying home for nearly 15 years. My sister is in college and my brother is almost done with high school, so the timing was right for her. I think there is a lot of negativity towards women stepping out of a career path for a long time and the attitude is "all is lost" at that point. My step-mother is a great example as to how it doesn't have to be that way. Anyway, for the most part the book was a great read, but I have to say that I am tired of women who combine a career with motherhood claiming they "have it all". Whatever. I resent the insinuation that just because I am a full-time mother, that I have somehow "given up" something. Furthermore, I have family members and friends who have chosen NOT to have children and I would consider the phrase "having it all" to be mildly insulting to them as well since it implies they can NEVER "have it all" because they won't ever have children. One other thing about this book was the viewpoint was a bit narrow since most of the "working" moms are in the writing/publishing field - it was hard for me to relate to this career path. I came from the technology/accounting field where there was not a lot of flexibility - particularly, when dealing with clients. For example, while working at the Fed, many, many times I would be packing up my laptop to head out the door and we would get a call that a server couldn't be accessed. If I had a child, this would be a bad situation because either I would have to pick up my child late OR there would be a Fed sitting around twiddling their thumbs waiting for me to dash home. Nobody would win in that situation. I briefly toyed with the "part-time" work situation because I could have pushed the Fed's so-called Family Friendly party line (hee hee - I canNOT type that without laughing! hee hee hee), but after I had to CANCEL a pre-natal doctor's appointment at the last minute, I knew I would never stay at the Fed for that kind of crap. But here's the thing, I can't entirely blame the Fed because that was the nature of the job - servers go down and need to be brought back up. Children or not, a job must be done. Bah. I could go on and on, but there is no point to it.

Anyway........Moving on to fun stuff.......Snappage...........

One Skein Faux Fair Isle Hat

Here is the hat. I am not convinced it fits Arun. I tried it on him before finishing and thought it was time to decrease, but YIKES. I think I misjudged. However, even if I have to knit another one, that's okay by me, because this was SO MUCH FUN to knit. I love my Addi Turbos and this yarn is just YUMMY.

Guzzler

You'd think I'd just handed him a martini the way his eyes lit up when he figured out the whole straw thing.

Sassy

I call him Brokeback Baby because he is totally Equal Opportunity when it comes to flirting. THEN, he poses so smartly like this. He's just figured out the Effects of Gravity by pushing his car off the table for the umpteenth time. Baby Newton, he is.

Updated to Add:
In a beautiful bit of Irony, Goofy Girl sent me this old email from my first week at the Fed -- September 2003. What I love most is my sweet naïveté actually thinking I was going to get to finally work 40 hours a week. Months later when I was transferred to another department and was traveling while working odd hours due to a little project known as Check 21, the resentment rose like a bile, folks.

To: Goofy Girl
From: Cagey
Subject: Recap - First 40 Hour Week as a Federal Government Employee

Well, the first week has gone well. I am almost used to encountering high ranking females (Officers, no less!) in the bathroom - I realized on Monday that I had actually forgotten what it was like to have women to look up to. Anyway, here we go:

1. Food is a religion here and the subsidized cafeteria on the 10th floor is its temple. Nearly everyone I have encountered has expounded upon the virtues of the omelet station offered on Friday. I live in fear that someone will discover that I don't like omelets and I will be forever marked as "that girl".

2. I am almost done expecting a piece of cheese in my cube each morning after navigating 2 city blocks of footwork, a maze of metal detectors, card readers, secured turn-stiles, and a bank of 9 elevators in my daily arduous journey to the 17th floor . At least I feel safe working for an organization that has an entire department named Protection.

3. I am beginning to feel at ease with the 1970s decor on my floor and have quit expecting to see Lou Grant peek around the corner. I am even a little less resentful of the other floors that apparently had a "renovations" line item in their annual budget.

4. Our intranet rocks! Unlike Blocknet, you can actually find things on it and the color scheme is not damaging to your retinas. The daily dining menu is the first link on the right hand corner (refer to #1 above) and I have a schedule of all the TV shows that will be featuring the new $20 bill to be released on October 9th. You know you wanna know, right? I don't think they are giving out samples, though. Darn.

5. I have the unique opportunity to join the Photography Club OR the illustrious Knitting Club. Actually, the knitting club looks cool and is doing a good service - they knit caps for chemo patients. Hey, don't laugh - Julia Roberts is knitter!

6. Sadly, even here I must report the evil United Way has burrowed its head in like a Lyme disease-bearing tick.

7. Yes, it is a deadzone here after 4:30pm and the 40 Hour Week is an institution. However, these people are actually working and they come in at the buttcrack of dawn. Other than the mad dashes to the cafeteria for the daily snack special at 2:00 pm (again, refer to #1) and despite the plethora of cubicle toys that my nephew would sell his baby brother for - there is really very little goofing off. These people have jobs to do and are determined to do it in 40 hours, if possible. I was even in a meeting where there were concerns with having people to work on a project after 8pm, so they moved some tasks to the following morning. What a concept!

Anyway, jokes aside. It is pretty good here and I am learning a ton of new things and revisiting a lot of old stuff. I am so happy to be getting back into this. I am also glad to be back downtown. My first whiff of stale coffee with a hint of truck fumes brought back so many fond memories from DST and EY.

Why? Why not?

Back in the good old days of Armchair Parenting, I had a steadfast rule that mandated a child should be weaned from breastfeeding at 12 months.


....................Fast Forward to October 2006...........................


Arun will be 12 months in less than 2 weeks. At this point, it is safe to assume that he will NOT be weaned by then. Let me repeat that for those in the back - Yes, my kid will still be suckling at my breast as of October 17th because yes, YES, in Grand Hypocritical Fashion, I'm switching The Rules around for my own benefit now that I am an actual mother. Convenient, eh? (See Also: Previous dictums regarding Craptastic Plastic, Noisy Toys, Elmo, designer baby clothes, co-sleeping, the Crying It Out method of so-called sleep training and finally, previous stances on the Evils of Attachment Parenting. ) While I could point out the particulars of venerable and respected organizations such as the World Health Organization and UNICEF that recommend nursing for at least 2 years, the truth is, I'm gonna stand on this one all by my lonesome. There are the obvious nutritional elements and pretty cool antibodies that would sure be nice to continue donating to Arun - you see, Arun has yet to experience a single illness and unapologetically, I'd like to ride that Pony until it dies. Seriously! NO COLDS. NO ILLNESS. Even though we are out and about ALL the time, are exposed to kids of all ages, go to the gym nursery, attend playgroups and have been on 14, count 'em, 14 different germ-ridden airplanes in this year alone and can I repeat that Arun has yet to get a single cold?? (although X and I have had several ourselves.) Finally and most importantly, we've just established an AWESOME sleeping and nap schedule. And I'm a selfish bitch who relishes Naptime. Sue me.

I ask you, Internet, GOOD GOD, why the HELL would I mess with that? Sure, the nursing is less and less these days and he will probably be weaned by 18 months, anyway. But I certainly I don't see a purpose nor advantage to cut him off at the 12 Months Mark when there isn't a specific need for it. After all, I see LOADS of kids walking around with chunks of plastic in their mouths - what's wrong with giving my kid what nature intended anyway for just a few more months?

So, while I have no Grand Manifesto planned for nursing him through the fence during recess, I also don't think it's a big deal to continue nursing for a few more months. Why not?

Oh, and my Hypocrisy? Duly noted for future reference.

Who would YOU thank?

So, the Solution to my Crankiness "arrived" in time to save my weekend. Yeehaw...... Having lots of time with my family and gal pals certainly helped, too. On Saturday, I had Wino Book Club (Wine: Riesling..... bleh... Book: My Sister's Keeper by Jodi Piccoult. GREAT book - an easy, smeasy read that lent itself for an interesting, thought-provoking discussion). On Sunday, I had the Kansas City Stitch n' Bitch session (Project: ADORABLE hat for Arun, nearly finished). Hell's Bells - Arun even went to bed at 8:00 pm on Sunday so that X and I could watch the Wire LIVE. Like, AS IT WAS BEING AIRED.

Olathe Grandma and I went to Older Nephew's soccer game on Saturday while driving to Tonganoxie and back. I realize I knock on Olathe Grandma a lot, but really, she is your typical grandma in many ways, so it's an easy target. I should mention that much of what I poke fun at here, is already laughed and giggled over WITH HER first. However, I fear I don't give her enough credit around here for how instrumental she has been to my sister and me. Regardless of what has happened over the years, Olathe Grandma has always been a steady constant. A total ROCK. Someone we could ALWAYS turn to in need. She showed us unconditional love, but still expected that we would grow up to be Responsible. She showered us with toys and books, but still expected that we would grow up to be Responsibile. She bought us Jordache jeans and Nike shoes even when she thought they were a waste of money, but still expected that we would grow up to be Responsible. She helped us in college, but still expected that we would grow up to be Responsible. So, in many ways, my sister and I have had it easy, but we still knew there were certain Expectations of us and never, EVER did we want to disappoint her. I suffered some major angst in my 20s thinking I had disappointed her. Now that I am in my 30s, I know that I haven't.

I've had some things in the back of my mind lately concerning death, guardianship of Arun, etc. If anyone understands these things, it's my grandma. She was widowed in 1946 after my grandfather died in an accident - he was a firefighter en route to an emergency. He was 26, she was 24, my dad was 18 months, and my aunt was 3.5 years. She had a rough road ahead of her - finding a job in a age where most women did not work. She had practically no savings and very little life insurance. But she did it by working hard and watching her pennies carefully.

So, while in the car on Saturday, I was able to talk to her about some of my concerns and WOW. Talking to her really put my mind at ease and helped me come to some decisions. Now that I am in my 30s, I don't turn to her very often for help anymore because of Pride. Furthermore, it's so very easy to take people in our lives for granted and I'll be damned if that hasn't been what I have done lately with my grandma. Someone who has had such a profound impact on me as a person and frankly, even more so now that I am a mother. Would I want to do everything the way she has? No, but she did show me that Unconditional Love mixed with Expectations can still yield some good results. My sister and I could have really gone down some wrong paths, but we didn't and our grandma deserves some of the credit. Saturday, coming back from Tonganoxie, I took the opportunity to thank my grandma for all that she has done. Actually, I have done that quite often over the years either in person, or spontaneous "thank you" cards. However, I hadn't done it lately and Saturday was a good time to do so.

In fact, it was the perfect moment to do so. Besides, is there ever a bad time to thank someone for something?


Easy Rider

My mom has a bike for the Nephews and Arun was immediately drawn to it. Of course, he can't pedal yet, but he had fun just walking around with it. Little by little, he's becoming a Little Boy. Just the other day, I bought mitten clips for his Little Boy COAT. No blankets THIS year. I guess I am supposed to be weepy, but frankly, I don't have time for that because I am too busy having FUN with him. Before you know it, I'll be buying leathers for him.