Rants and comments on the world of auto repair, cars, and motorcycles from the other side of the wrench. Funny stories, apocryphal legends, and other shit too ...
My old pal Gary was the one who told me that Morgan was resurrecting (carefully chosen word) their 3-wheeler (see post below) so naturally I sent him a link to F& G.
I've known Gary since the late '70s when I was National Service Manager (grand title, little horsepower) at Triumph Motorcycles America, the factory-owned distributor. Gary was one of a team of fitters that came over from England to rectify a rear brake master cylinder problem by replacing them in the crates before the bikes went to dealers. One of the cylinders had failed in use as a clutch cylinder in some kinda Limey car or other and I think their lawyers panicked. Anyway, due to the new cylinders arriving in dribs and drabs, Gary and his partner John were in SoCal for about four months. Perhaps Gary will see this and tell me how many units they replaced, but it wasn't very many. I think the English term for that poorly planned flusterpluck would be "a right bloody cock-up".
During that time, me and my motersickle club buds rescued these guys from sheer boredom several times and took them out to the desert and other places, made 'em desert BBQ and such as that. The club called them "the blokes from Triumph". We were all Triumph riders anyway so they were a big hit and we've been friends ever since.
Gary emigrated to Oz several years ago and is the dealer liaison for the Australian Triumph distributor.
His response to F & G was so good that I asked him if he minded if I posted it. His reply to that is the title of the post. Thanks for the one, way ahead of you on the other, mate.
Hey Gordon – Thanks for the link.
The George Formby film 'No Limit’ is one of my favourites still. It’s a tale of the battling little man beating adversity. Freeze frame one of the mainstand shots and look at the flags of all nations .What looks like an IOM three legged flag is actually a swastika! This was probably one of the last outings for the glorious Socialist Germany before the little altercation.
The pub he crashed into is now a gift shop. The beer on the IOM is an acquired taste – always reminded me of cat piss.
The Catalina races were something else – all BSA’s and Triumphs – do you remember me riding that Pink TRIUMPH twin in Bean Canyon? it reminded me of that! Of course the best racing was always pre-legislation!
TTFN
GARY
I took the opportunity to tell him that yes, I remembered how good he looked on Triumph Lady's pink TR6 desert sled and that I still have photos and my pension could stand a little augmentation...
And I won't fault him for missing the odd Matchless and Velocette in that 50+ year old clip (three posts below). Heh.
His insight on 'No Limit' (two posts below) is great!
And yes, the best of everything was before the anti-fun people found out about it.
And when I get one, I won't even have to start it myself! Mrs. G has been ready for the day since she started this one 35 years ago. At least I think it started:
I just gotta get a DVD of this. Hell, it parallels my own life/racing career (including the 'creative financing/sponsorship'. Heh.) so closely I could probably make it myself!
Here's the setup. There's a golden comedy line in this that I couldn't read 'til I full-screened it. George is a Rainbow man and gets a letter back from the Rainbow Cycle Company Ltd. telling him thanks but no thanks for a spot on their racing team but "we wish you success on your reconditioned 1925 Rainbow motor cycle". Best o' luck on that old crapcan we sold you, chump. To me that's priceless.
Here's the payoff - the Isle of Man TT race, filmed on location on the Isle of Man. TT aficionados will recognize some famous landmarks such as the Ramsey Hairpin, the famous jump at Ballaugh Bridge, and others including a particular pub that's probably had more motorcycles through the front door than any biker bar in Sturgis. Heh. Try some of this stuff on modern racebikes and you'd have many expensive lumps o' shit and a lousy movie. There's something to be said for old-fashioned simple iron and steel motorcycles.
This puts a lot of modern comedy chase scenes to shame. I musta learned to ride by watching this in the cradle...
There was a Catalina Grand Prix held on the SoCal island for several years back in the '50s. After a 52 year hiatus, there was one last year. This is huge to us old SoCal riders, operative word being 'old'.
A legendary event that had been nothing more than a faint memory for a select few, a tall tale for others and a history lesson learned through photos and 8mm film for most was about to repeat itself. We speak of a post-war race that took place 22 miles off the coast of Southern California on a small island called Catalina. This quaint little mound of terra firma in view from downtown Los Angeles on a clear day has been a small venture with vast history-including military training in the '40s, spring training for the Chicago Cubs Baseball team from the '20s to early '50s and the epic golden years of the Catalina Grand Prix in the '50s. 1958 marked the last year of the then legendary and world famous race and its hallowed ground lay dormant for 52 years before a miracle took place.
There's a good article in Cycle World too, which I just got in the mail yesterday.
Interesting tidbit: Even though there's an ocean between Catalina and L.A., it's the closest place to have a race these days.
Cycle World Off-Road Editor Ryan Dudek gives us an onboard view of the Red Bull Catalina Grand Prix course on his way to victory in the Veteran Heavyweight A race.
Notice that not only are there no bikes in front of him, there's almost no bikes visible behind him on the switchbacks either. Mr. Dudek was haulin' the mail.
Note to Dudek: Next time put a camera facing to the rear. I'd love to see what the rear end is doing! I betcha he got that Katoom so crossed-up a coupla times he'da got pictures of his face!
Note: you may wish to take a seasick pill before viewing. Also, Mr. Dudek crammed a 5-mile lap into the ten minute YouTube limit. If I had done the same video, crossin' the line would have been in Part 3. Okay, okay, part 6. Heh.
Who in Hell thought "pairs racing" was a good idea? That's racing? I'll give 'em this, in 45 years I ain't seen nothing like it. The last few laps should be interesting.
Update:
That's wrecked, that's ruined. Heh ...
Update (Monday):
Arguing with my buddy Noonan on Facebook about this ... whatever they call that race.
Personally, I thought the race was a joke. Cars running around in pairs for 500 miles ain't racing in my book. It's who can make the best bargain in the push/pull negotiations.
Then too, to take nothing away from the kid's talent or the Wood Bros. (their record speaks for itself), I'd offer that were it not for the "drafting" causing the wrecks that took out the real threats (Gordon, Johnson, Kyle Bush, Little E, etc) the outcome would have been quite different.
Ford Motor Co. is suing Ferrari SpA for trademark infringement after the Italian exotic-car maker named its new Formula 1 racing car the F150. Ford says the car’s name comes too close to that of its longtime top-selling vehicle the F-150 pickup truck. Ford filed the suit in federal court in Detroit.
From 1965, I was 5 years old and recognize several of these old cars, er, models of cars.
My old man actually had one of those old Volvo's. He used to race a Bugeye Sprite back then and raced one of the original Mini Coopers too.
Here's a little vid of me using my new snowthrower, which works very well indeed. So good that I have named it "Bermflinger!". I was gonna give it sort of an Alpine/Swiss type name - Ausgeflingenderbermensehrfahrren! - but I couldn't spell it.
Could my old blower have cut up and tossed this berm? Sure. Not nearly as easily and quickly though. This blower has cut my my snow clearing time at least in half and with a lot less effort. This old man thanks you, Soichiro.
Watching me blow snow is about as exciting as watching paint dry, I know, but the dogs are fun. Notice the out-of-focus bit when I heave into view. I think the camera was trying to focus on the discharged snow.
I'm getting used to the machine, which operates similarly yet entirely different from my old one. I'm getting used to the big mittens too. Watch me try and horribly fail to throw a ball for my dog!
It's raining, fixin' ta snow snowing, Mrs. G's NASCAR race is on, and I'm bored. Please forgive me...
Steven Jordan from Malvern with his 1947 Ariel, running a 600cc sidevalve 'Jap'(*) engine originally from a Howard-gem rotavator!!
*Not literally. More properly 'J.A.P.'. Putting one of these engines in a hillclimber is roughly the equivalent of putting a Briggs & Stratton in a dragster. J.A.P. made hellacious fast motorcycle engines, but this ain't one of 'em. Strange cats, these Limeys, but hey, ya go with whatcha got, and the thing probly gets him back and forth from the feed store and pub just fine...
First, watch ol' Steve get his ass blown in the weeds by a coupla 'modern' ('60s) bikes. Event is the '08 Red Marley Hill Climb:
Here's a sled in action that's slightly newer than the one Steve got his mill from:
This video shows my Howard 'Gem' Rotavator. I have brought the machine back to life. Her year of build is 8th August 1950 with a serial number of G17447 and is an early series 3 machine. This can be noted by the quadrangle gear gate. Howard was the Reg Trademark but she was made by Rotary Hoes Ltd in East Hordon Essex. She has a single cylinder BJ (British Junior) engine. I have tried to get the machine back to it's orginal state right down to the waterslide transfers which finish the machine off.
As you can see, not much difference in performance. Heh.
That said, a beautiful restoration of the old rotovator. The thing's a moose compared to a modern rototiller. Sure is purty, 'tho.
I actually have experience with the Troy Bilt type since my late mother-in-law had one to till her one acre+ garden with her husband at the helm. Considering that ol' Ralph drank a mite, it is notable that he never ran himself over with it. Being the mechanic in the family, it fell to me to keep it running on our occasional visits, which was pretty simple, although I swear I found parts that fell off it inside her home-canned veggies...
In the years after Ralph passed, Nadine modernized with a Sears lawn tractor. I know more about those things than I care to as well...
They ran it into a tree, submerged it in the ocean for five hours , hit it with a wrecking ball, dropped it, dropped a trailer on it and even set the damn thing on fire, and it still ran.
This trial came to my attention when I thought the trials season was over. My third trial and my best one yet!
I rode 11 sections, or slightly over one loop, the farthest I've made it in one of these events so far. I'm happy about that.
I figured out it's best if I don't ride any more after I realize I'm tired to the point where my concentration and judgment lapse, which is when Bad Things Happen. As a result, I didn't fall off this time. A first in my trials career! I'm happy about that.
One of the reasons, I'm sure, that I did better is that I'm starting to relax at the helm a little. I'm getting more comfortable with the bike and am heading for the point I need to be at, somewhere between "Bend The Handlebars Hang On For Dear Life" and "Thumb And Forefinger Barely Touching The Handgrip", although my "HotHotHotDeathGrip" has caused the firmly-glued-on left handgrip to move almost an inch to the right! Heh.
In my three trials, I have improved a little at a time. The learning curve may have eased off the vertical a point or two. I've learned a lot about trials-specific riding techniques that are WAY different from what I'm used to, and all manner of little details that will pay off next season.
At this trial, Mrs. G didn't feel like taking any videos and that's fine. She played with the dogs a lot (they love the PITS property and all the people!) but managed to trudge to five of the sections to watch me. She got two still photos.
She says I went by too fast in this one, something I've rarely been accused of in my racing career! I'm glad my hands are visible or it would've looked like I've figured out how to balance the bike well enough to take a leak behind a tree whilst still mounted! When I get to that point, there WILL be video! Heh.
Click photos to embiggen
This one is pretty typical of the terrain. Mrs. G loves rocks! You can see the red and blue "split" markers that show riders of different skill levels which path to take through the section. That's me in the center, blue jersey, red helmet, walking the section (all the riders do that) and trying to talk some rocks into moving aside a little. It didn't work.
All in all a pretty good end for my first season. I'm looking forward to next year.
There's good news and not so good news, but I'm happy with my day!
Part of the good news is the SactoPITS property. It's just under 40 acres and their events fit inside it just fine. Also, it's absolutely undevelopable so they'll have it as long as they want it. It's two miles from the Eagle Lakes exit of I-80 on a section of Old Hwy 40 that turns to one-lane rocky shit a mile out. I-80 passes about 300 yards to the south (you'd never know it was there) and the main electrical transmission lines across this part of the Sierra pass virtually over it. I was impressed. The place is perfect for this kind of small event. Trees and rocks. Lotsa rocks.
Next in the good news department: I asked the sign-up ladies if I could pay my 2011 dues (I skipped 2010) five days early and ride on it rather than pay 15 bucks for a one-day membership like I did at the Granite Patch in July. They took pity on a poor old whiney senior citizen and let me do it. The guy next to me in line said that sounded good to him and they let him do it too. Heh.
PITS requires AMA membership and so I had dug out my membership card to take along to show them. I've been an AMA member for 52 years and hadn't even seen the card in probly 25. Everything's different than on the newer cards and they'd never seen one like it, sweet young things in their 40s that they were. Those gals looked at me like Sasquatch, or maybe Moses, had come a-boilin' down outta the hills to ride their event!
Actually, lotsa old guys ride this sport, but as resident Olde Pharte around here I have an image to maintain.
The best part was Mrs.G caught me on video cleaning a section. We had the dogs with us (they had a blast!) and she was keeping an eye on them. She did her duty and put their little asses in the truck and came looking for me. This was the only section she got to with the camera as it was the closest one to the truck. Thank you, sweetie.
Section 6 at SactoPITS Granite Trial near Eagle Lakes CA on 9-25-10. They make the "4 line" sections very easy for us beginners.
I will now put the sting back in.
I gotta leave ya hangin' 'til tomorrow. Certain parts of me are threatening to go on strike if I don't get into a hot tub toot de sweet! I better get outta this chair while I can do it unaided by the Fire Department! See ya.
Monday afternoon. Sorry I haven't finished this post yet. I've been busy. I will.
I have now ridden two events. I didn't finish either one, but I've learned a lot.
A word about the scoring system: Trials is scored like golf - lowest score wins. '0' or 'clean' is the goal in the observed sections. You get points for putting your foot on the ground or stopping, up to a maximum of five points, at which point there's no more glory.
On balance, I'm improving. In my first trial in July I scored two 'cleans' in eight sections, or 25%. In this trial I scored four 'cleans' in six sections, or 67%.
The observed sections for my skill level are pretty easy, as you see in the video. The club does that so beginners won't get discouraged and take up knitting or something. No problem here, knitting needles are too dangerous and I'd probably strangle myself with the yarn.
The actual sections aren't a particular problem for me, but the trail in between them IS! Only maybe a coupla hundred feet or yards, but rocky, narrow, occasionally steep up or down and winding. Mountain goat shit, at least to me. I'm not very good yet at riding this motorcycle. I've only ridden it, other than right around my house to make sure it runs OK, in these two events, almost certainly less than five miles total.
I could ride my regular dirt bike over any of this terrain a lot better for two reasons: 1) I'm used to it, and 2) it has a seat. Think about it - you stand up on any dirt bike to negotiate rough terrain, but if you hit a particularly dicey stretch you can paddle with your feet for balance and still be attached to the bike with your hind end. If you gas it, it's probably not going to jump out from under you. Riding standing up all the time because there's no seat, which totally sucks by the way, if you try to paddle with your feet you're only attached by your hands. If you gas it a little too much, your foot or feet are somewhere between the ground and the footpeg and only the top half of you is likely to go along with the motorcycle. You have no balance whatsoever and eventually something will happen that makes you let go of the handlebars, or maybe worse, NOT let go, and then it's all over. Kind of a comic visual unless you're the Wile E. Coyote - wide eyes, ears straight up, puff of smoke far below. Heh.
It won't be too long before I'll be able to toodle along on the trials sled as easily and well as the hordes of little kids who are presently blowing my doors off, but for now the in-between trails tire me out big time, which means I don't ride as well, which tires me quicker, and so on and so on. Each section I actually arrive at is a small victory.
In section 7, the next one after the one in the video, my concentration lapsed for a second and my bike tipped over. I put out my foot to stop a fall. Woulda worked, too, if there had been any ground there, but the ground was three feet under the foot. Eventually, foot reached ground, but there was no saving it and I went ass over teakettle.
While I was lying there, I realized how exhausted I was and decided to call it a day. The section personnel all ran to my aid and got me up and outta there and I rode back to the truck.
The biggest blow was to my pride of course (nothing new), but Mrs. G noticed a quarter-sized booboo on the part of my elbow that I couldn't see (note to Self: wear the protective gear, idiot). She whipped out the medical gear, cleaned the wound and put a band-aid on it. Had to pull a coupla pine needles out of it first.
A note about trials people: I turned in my scorecord as a DNF so the club wouldn't go looking for me and told the lady what I thought was a humorous "you guys kicked my butt". She actually apologized and I had to backpedal fast, "oh no, please. I had a lotta fun." As I was sitting on the motorcycle rack on the pickup recovering from all this, all kinds of folks came over and asked if I was OK. Word spreads fast in a small club like that and they don't know me from Adam. Very, very nice folks.
I rode my first motorcycle race in 1962. I didn't fall off in that one and rarely did thereafter. In thousands of racing miles I have never, say again never fallen off in two consecutive events like I have in this sport, and never at 2 mph or less.
That shit's gotta stop. This season's pretty much over, but my plan for next year will start with a simple act: as soon as this coming winter's snow melts I'm taking the cap off the Dakota. That will let me load up and go practice, practice, practice at a moment's notice instead of messin' with the rack.
This season was pretty much about riding a couple of events to see if I liked it. I do. My simple goal for next season is to finish an event and to do that I just have to ride, ride, ride the damn motorcycle until I know what it's gonna do and what I'm gonna do in a given situation and thus gain confidence and expend less energy, and since there's a level of athleticism I had not considered but which has been brought home rather sharply, to get my 'sickle-ridin' muscles (roughly from just above the knees to just off the ends of my fingertips) in shape.
I didn't understand a word of this except for the Indian gent who probably doesn't speak Hebrew. You don't need to understand Hebrew to understand this: Bike riders are the same everywhere!
Get Hamas and Hezbollah on these bikes and presto! Peace! Would you believe bench racing?
As folks who followed our trip to the Baltic know, I ran into my buddy "David the Engineer", formerly the 1st Engineer on Queen Elizabeth 2 and now with Carnival Corporation Fleet Division. He was doing surveys on Holland America Line's Prinsendam and then on Queen Mary 2 the same time we were aboard. Much beer was consumed. Heh ...
That said, he gave me some of his personal pics of Cunard's Queen Elizabeth 2 and Queen Victoria in rough seas as they chased each other across the North Atlantic for Vicky's New York debut, a couple years back.
My buddy Dave was aboard QE2 and his buddy was an engineer aboard Vicky and they took these pics while texting each other in real time. From what he related, the texts went something like this:
Vicky to Lizzie: "You're a dragster."
Lizzie to Vicky: "You're a submarine."
Vicky to Lizzie: "Dragster, submarine."
Lizzie to Vicky: "Submarine, dragster."
Queen Elizabeth 2
Queen Victoria
Click pics to embiggen
It was nice to have a mate to hang with at nights and catch up on sea and car stories. We also have a mutual friend so we got to say bad things about him because he wasn't there to defend himself. Heh ...
Update:
This is for Comrade Misfit, who knows a good ship when she sees it. Queen Elizabeth 2 and Queen Mary 2 at Pier 92 on NYC's West Side. My buddy Dave took this pic from the Empire State Building.
