I'm convinced that exercise really does make you sleep better.  I use to sleep horrible, I mean really horrible.  But then  I started exercising and I was sleeping awesome.  This Friday will be 6 weeks since I broke my ankle.  I'm told to try and remove the boot and put on a regular shoe and walk.  I'm hopeful and a tinsy part of me is doubtful as well.  Anyway, I have stuff to do today before the kids get home.  I'll be idle in a few hours when all is put away, laundered, and dinner is at least a thought.

We still have a dog.  I was a little irritated because he had just walked on my freshly mopped floor.  Isn't that the way it goes though??  Anyway, I want to say what's on my mind today.  I am a Mormon.  I am proud of it and like Ann Dibbs said, "I Know It, I Live It, I Love It."  This is me.  I had a dream last night that I was a missionary again.  Only this time I was serving here at home in Washington.  I was getting ready to leave and go home (even though in my dream I am totally married and still have the kids) and I was in an apartment packing all my stuff.  A few ward members were out for a run and they stopped to say good bye to me.  I was crying and so were a few of them.  Only I remember that I was crying hard.  I woke up and realized that I had an awesome experience.  I learned some wonderful things about the gospel on my mission and I was so blessed to be able to share them with others.  I made great friends!  My companions were simply awesome.  Except for 2, I feel so lucky to have gotten the chance to meet, and teach with these wonderful girls.  I just feel blessed to have been able to do something wonderful. 

That being said I'm surprised at people who are members of the church and choose not to be active.  Does going to church take up your Sunday?  Yes.  But what really is there to do on Sunday that you can't do on Saturday?  What I'm getting at is this I think.  I had a friend in high school who was a very religious girl.  She moved to Idaho when she was a junior but would keep in touch often and sometimes call and sing hymns to me.  For Christmas she sent me a video of Our Heavenly Fathers Plan.  She came to my wedding.  She had a glow about her and she was a faithful church goer.  I sort of lost track of her after having kids and life and stuff.  But after getting on Facebook there she was.  Only in her picture she had on a sleeveless dress.  I was curious and after reading some of her profile she has abandoned Mormonism and is something else.  She claims that she read some stuff about the church and decided it wasn't true.  Her husband got on board with her, as did her 3 boys.  What happened??  I mostly want to call her and say What the heck happened to you?  You grew up hearing about eternal families and now you want to throw that away?  I don't understand.  I feel bad for her I really do.  I wonder if a part of her deep, deep down still knows and wants to believe but maybe she's thinking it's to late.  It's never to late.  O.k. I'll sum up.  There are things about the church that I don't know.  There are.  But this I DO know.  1.  What I don't know doesn't bother me, and I certainly am not going to go read some anti literature to find the answer.  2. What I DO know,  I know to absolutely be true.  There have been experiences in my life both in the past and right now that have happened that I will never deny.  I know that God hears and answers prayers.  From big ones to small ones.  Because I have had answers to both.  I feel blessed to be a member of the church.  Because it has blessed my life in ways that I can never explain.  I am happy.  I am grateful.  And I just am.   

We have a dog.

Sometimes I have dreams that take me back to high school.  I am once again a student in the hallways of Mountain Crest High School.  This particular dream had to do with kids that thought they were neat and cool and those that weren't.  Much like high school.  Now, here's the thing about it.  I loved high school.  I had a good time with not to many bad memories.  My junior and senior year?  Awesome!  I felt the need to get involved, go to games, and have fun.  I only wish now looking back that I had paid better attention in class.  I really think that had I buckled down and given more effort I could have been a really great student.  I was just average as it turns out.  To bad because I'd like to  see how far I could have come had I applied myself better.  I don't have so fond of memories of 9th and 10th grade really.  And middle school?  I wouldn't repeat the 7th grade for a million dollars.  Kids are mean, girls in general.  You spend more time trying to figure out who's your friend and who's not, and why is she mad at me.  Nope!  I would not repeat middle school.

That being said my Natalie gets a note form a girl in her class.  Nat is in the 3rd grade.  The note is written on the cutout of a cat.  It says,"Dear Natalie, I wish you would leave me alone and leave me alone now.  Livia is my friend and their is nothing you can do to tear us apart.  Stop telling your brother to tell on us.  Sincerely Sophia."  And then on the back it says 'p.s. don't cry.'  My response is this.   "Dear Sophia, How'd you like a knuckle sandwich across that hurtful mouth of yours!"  Are girls starting to be mean earlier?  We are in 3rd grade people!  I thought I'd have more time to prep myself for mean girls.  7th grade?  Yep we can talk about it then.  3rd grade?  She is just my little girl.  I volunteer every other Friday in Nat's classroom to help the kids read.  What I'd really like to do is go over to Sophia and say ' Do you know who I am?  That's right Natalie's mom.  I saw the letter you wrote.  Uncool mean girl, so uncool.'  I have a feeling that we'll be dealing with her type in the future.  It was Dallin who told the recess aids that the girls were being mean to Nat!  HA!  My sweet little Dal Pal.  Good boy sticking up for your sis. 

Physical therapy hurt yesterday.  I am hurting now and wondering what  good can come out of not running again.  I have exercises to do at home, but the motivation is not there.  It's because I can see the housework that needs to get done instead.  Find a balance, just find a good balance.  This post is boring but I want to talk about childhoods and how mine was awesome.  And that will take a little time.  And I need to go get Dal off the bus and put pants back on.  Don't judge, pants are annoying when you're hurt.

Pain killers.  I love/don't love them.  I remember getting something in the ER for my first kidney stone.  I don't know what it was but it was awesome!!!  I got all lightheaded in my brain, my arms weighed a lot, and all I wanted to do was sleep.  Well what I took last night knocked me out as well.  It honestly hurt to try and open my eyes.  Problem with that was that I don't think it wore off.  I have been so groggy and so sleepy today I could hardly function.  Poor Dal.  I remember telling him that since it wasn't raining he should go outside.  Hhmm that's good parenting right there. 

In a way though, I was glad that I didn't sleep to well.  We had a fire last night like we always do in the winter.  I don't know what time Tyler went to bed, but I woke up in the night smelling burning wood.  This was not uncommon.  I know that he puts slightly wet wood in front of the fire to dry it out.  But this was strong.  I pulled myself out of bed and walked in the living room.  The piece was smoking like crazy!  It was burned black and had little embers falling off.  I yelled for Tyler, who put it outside.  I am sure glad that I smelled that.  It could have been bad.  Really bad.  And now I will go to bed.  A short post but tomorrow will be a long one I think. 

Wow.  2 posts in less than an hour.  Look at me getting stuff done.  Well, I am still in my pjs though.  Mason asked me to bring him lunch at school because he wants something warm.  I'll send it in with Dal.  He'll die if he sees me like this.  Well how about Christmas.  It was different for me this year.  Hard to pin point really, but I was not in the spirit this year.  I love getting the tree, getting decorations out and letting the kids go to town.  But there was a different feeling in the air.  Maybe I spent to much on the kids?  I didn't think that I did.  I was very excited for Dallins dinosaur stuff and Masons bb gun.  I was thrilled when my friend made Nat a bean bag that is totally awesome.  But I wasn't feeling it.  I tried to be more Christ centered instead of Santa centered....as we all should.  I have a beehive right now who is a recent convert.  She's been baptized a little over a year and she lives with her mom and sister.  And on the odd occasion her brother.  Her mom is a loser.  No really.  This woman has no job, gets money from the state claiming headaches, and doesn't do a thing with her life.  They live in a run down trailer park.  She loves her son but I don't think she cares much for the girls.  When I pick Shawna up for YW her mom is always yelling at her to hurry, or to find her shoes or whatever.  In front of me too.  This is no way to grow up.  As Christmas got closer I casually asked Lynda what she was doing for Christmas.  Were they going anywhere?  Having company?  She said "I told the girls not to expect anything.  I can't get them nothing.  My mom will get them a few things from the dollar store.  But that's it.  I just got a new floor put in the trailer so that's it!"  Really?  Shawna got a new coat from the principal at her school.  I knew that Shawna and her sister Courtney had their names on the giving tree at church.  But after further investigation I found out that they were gift cards.  No way I thought.  There is no way that Lynda would spend those gift cards on the girls.  She wouldn't even get her own girl a coat.  It was the principal.  I took over!  I have a very wonderful beehive class.  And yes, some come from wealthy families.  I emailed the girls in class and their moms and explained that we have the need and opportunity to help a fellow classmate.  And would they mind getting 1 thing for Shawna for Christmas this year.  Socks, jeans, sweater, whatever.  The outpouring was humbling and outstanding.  My girls went way above and beyond what I had thought.  When all was said and done I had clothes and shoes, slippers and robes galore.  I divided the gifts here on the kitchen table.  I made a Shawna pile and a Courtney pile.  Each girl had socks, robe, slippers, hoodies, sweaters, jeans, coats, perfume.  I was so touched and so humbled by my wonderful class.  And yes their moms of course.  What a way to serve!  I took the presents over on Christmas Eve.  Lynda told me they would be home at 9 so I showed up a little earlier.  As I was pulling the wrapped gifts from the car, they came home.  Who come home early? Apparently they do.  I was caught red handed, but I explained that Santa dropped this off in his rush and would I mind bringing the presents over.  The girls didn't hear me.  They were like little girls who couldn't believe what I had.  It was so precious.  They were busy looking at the tags and squeling with excitement.  I brought the presents in and set them down next to an empty, and I do mean empty tree.  I had a humble and grateful heart.  Not a thank you was mentioned, but given her mom I didn't really expect one.  At least they would have something to open the next day.  Serving others.  Pass it on.

Now our kids woke up late on Christmas day.  Around 8:15ish, I started to hear signs of life coming from their rooms.  Very different from when I was a kid.  I remember sitting downstairs on the couch with Dan and Emily.  We weren't allowed to come upstairs until at least 6.  There we'd sit until the clock started to chime 6.  We would tear up the stairs like we were being chased by a mad man.  The tree would be lit and we'd stand for a minute, breathless, and look at what Santa had done.  It was always a good morning.  A good EARLY morning.  So for my kids to wake up that late was a new one for me.  But I sort of liked it.  Then we wouldn't get up with it being so dark outside.  Anyway the kids were happy and very appreciative of their gifts.  Later that afternoon, I took just Dallin to the Walking with Dinosaurs movie.  It was a gift from me.  It was sort of a lame movie with no real plot.  I may have fallen asleep in the middle of it.  But he had a good time so that's all that matters.  We didn't go anywhere for the rest of the day and no one had us over for dinner.  I wasn't going to make a huge ham dinner for just us so we had pulled pork sandwiches, potato salad, and chips instead.  The kids didn't mind and I didn't have to spend all day in the kitchen.  It was a quiet day really.  Not that much going on, which makes me wonder if that's why it didn't feel like Christmas to me.  The next day we did our tradition of bowling and out to eat.  We normally do that on Christmas Eve, but this year both Nat and Dal got new bowling shoes so we waited one day.  It was fun.  Let the good times roll.  that is all for now.