If you said S E X...you were ever so correct.reutersVera Rhodes has come a long way from her conservative upbringing in Pennsylvania's Amish community. There she was a virgin until she married at age 30. Now, she is an enthusiastic 54-year-old member of the millions-strong "swinging" community who speaks openly of her encounters with multiple sexual partners.
Vera, Vera, Vera...30?...Come on!
"Last night it was really special," said Rhodes, who is divorced and makes a living giving massages in the Midwestern state of Iowa. I bet it was special...and someone ask me if I am surprised that she gives massages to people...I could have won some money on that one."There was a couple from Mexico, a couple from Virginia and a couple from Ireland, from Australia." Now you know what countries to boycott...because they probably cuddle in the streets any time of day I would imagine.
"I like to participate in life as much as possible," she said with a broad smile. No mystery there...but does participating in life mean you have to be on your knees that much?
Rhodes was among some 3,000 people gathered on Saturday at the Stardust Hotel in Las Vegas for the annual Lifestyles conference, a five-day, $700-per-couple event that offers a mix of seminars, socializing and sex. I don't know about you...but for my $700.00 I want more than socializing, sex and seminars...there had better be naked guys jumping around the place with platters of food to tempt my senses...and...and... shiny glittery things...like baubles, bangles and beads.
Early on Saturday, Rhodes was back for more, joining the action in a suite where more than a dozen couples were having sex. I certainly hope they were careful...you can poke your eye out really easy if you're not paying attention.
The conference organizer, Robert McGinley, 72, president of The Lifestyles Organization, estimates that there are 3 million swingers in the United States alone. He founded his group in 1969 and began holding the annual conferences in the 1970s. Somehow it wasn't a surprise that he founded his little group in 1969...he probably planned it years ahead of time. A tarot card reader probably told him to hold off on his shenanigans until 69'...3 million...hmm...that's alot of squealing at one time.
He said his firm (
heh heh...he said firm) brings in millions of dollars in annual sales from organizing tours to swinger-friendly resorts, Internet sites and from conferences. The Las Vegas event is the largest annual U.S. swinging event, he said.
Well aren't they the lucky ones.
At one seminar, several women were overcome as the presenter demonstrated a sexual device -- one passed out in the packed room.
What do you suppose they did to her to make her pass out? I think these people need to be monitored. That's it...the government can monitor their sexual devices...you never know when a terrorist is listening in on the action...or even participating in it. You know they love "the dance of the 7 veils"...right?
For all their enthusiasm, few of the swingers tell family and friends about their hobby.
Well, I hope not! Can you imagine what Aunt Tillie would think if she knew her favorite niece was tied up and spanked until she...until she...you get the picture.
"Socially, we're pariahs," said Drew Alexander, 40, who attended with this wife Tina, 38. "We're behaving in a way that's completely against the ingrained Catholic values." Oh!...don't even get me started with the Catholic church and their fascination with what goes on in the bedroom. I personally think if they can't have any...they don't want anyone else to get "it" either. Do they actually think we're all stupid and don't get it...with the long flowing robes they wear? The better to hide you with...my dear...
Another couple did not want their names printed but were far from shy. They made love early on Saturday in the hospitality suites where couples wandered from room to room to watch the action at close range. They emerged from their experience beaming, saying seeing others sparked more passion. Beaming? As in beam me up Scottie? Or...beam me over there Scottie so I can get me some of that? Beam me up some of that passion Scottie...seriously!
One attendee who stayed completely on the sidelines was the man behind the event. I just knew it!!! This creepy guy likes to watch! People! Don't do it...don't do it...you might poke your eye out...or something!
Freedom to express our swinging life-style that is...I told you the government would get in on the act of monitoring sex devices and conversations...and...and things! He's above the friggin' law...afterall! I wonder if Lithium Laura likes to wear dark leather?