More on the importance of journaling
...and a tribute to Leta

My hubby's grandma passed away yesterday. This is a sad event, but she was in her late 80's and lived a good life, and she died peacefully, so it's ok. The thing that makes me really happy, though, is that she told me I could have all her writings. Whether or not you believe in life after death, her journal is a little piece of her that will live on for years and years.

We went to visit her on Wednesday, two days ago, in the hospital. While we were there she said that she had written in her notebook just that morning, and she'd been keeping up with her writing. I asked her whether she had any special plans or wishes for her writing, and she said she didn't think so. I asked her whether I could have them to type up and make into a book for the family to keep, and she said that she didn't know why I'd want to do that since she didn't write about anything special; just her day to day life.

Maybe it's the fact that I was a history major and appreciate the sacredness of the everyday, but I told her that I thought that in 200 years people might be really fascinated by her day to day life. Then she thought for a second about whether she'd written anything negative about anyone, and she'd decided that she hadn't, so it was ok for me to have her writings, but I should be aware of the fact that her writing was awful.

I'm incredibly excited to type them up - they're like a little treasure chest of her thoughts and feelings, and I can't wait to see what we might learn about her from her journals.

IN OTHER NEWS, I'm currently writing with a pentel metallic gel pen in green. I'm a big fan of these pens and always have been. Not only do they write great and have a perfectly sized barrel, but they also don't last very long (about a week), which in my opinion is a good thing since I'm totally ADD when it comes to pens.

the bic z4 plus

I have just started writing with the bic z4. I usually am too much of a pen snob to use "common bics" but the needle tip and fine point on this bic really appealed to me.

The one thing I'm happy about is that it doesn't look like the ink is going to last that long. I'm happy about that because I don't really like this pen. It's not the worst pen, but it's also not the best, and it's scratchy on the paper that I'm using right now. Also, the ink levels are visible, which makes me happy - I like to see my inky progress. The handle grip is comfy and is about the right size for my fingers.

I got mine at Target, but they sell at Staples for $13.99 a dozen. I wouldn't get the dozen, but half a dozen might be a fun way to switch up your style from time to time.

hoarding

It's a basic human instinct that comes from millenia spent hunting and gathering scarce food and supplies. But many of us still hoard, even though we will most likely never feel the needs and wants of our ancestors.

I hoard several things - tea, lotions and pens. I hoard things that have special meaning to me - teas because of the feelings that I got when I bought them, lotions because the smells are like olfactory photographs, and pens because of the potential lying within them.

Someday I might write a brilliant (or at least above-average) novel. I want the pen I use to do that to be a special one, maybe the one I bought at the Paperchase in the Paddington train station, or at the airport in Copenhagen. So I have my favorite pens, but I refuse to use them, preferring instead to save them up for something special.

Then I have the pens I pick up at conferences, the dentist, the dry cleaners, hotels, etc. These pens mostly don't have much meaning to me. I can't imagine a time when I'll be sentimental over an Oxford University Press pen. But I don't use them because I want to save them in case there's ever a pen shortage.

So the collection grows.

Then there are the pens that are in the middle. They aren't meaningless pens, but they aren't exactly my favorite or most sentimental. These are the ones I use everyday because they are so easily replaceable.

But that leaves me feeling unsatisfied because my favorite pens are sitting in a rubbermaid storage container drying out while I'm using a Bic gel pen with a fine needle point that I got at Target on a completely unremarkable visit.

It's really a dilemma and I guess it's one that many collectors face. If I managed to get a Birkin bag, I don't think I'd ever take it outside the house. So there it would be, collecting dust.

There's a big difference between Birkins and Muji pens, though (about $11,999 worth). So I really should start to use my favorite pens. That would make me happy, and would probably get me to write more.

the eee pc

I am writing from my new, very digital little machine, the asus eee pc. This little computer weighs in at less than 2 lbs, has a solid state 4 gig hard drive and a seven inch screen. This little gem is tiny. It fits nicely in my daily bag and is hardly that much bigger than my palm pilot was. It's the size of my journal, only just a bit thicker. This baby is going to let me write down my thoughts from anywhere I might happen to be. The bookstore, the hampstead heath, a beach in Goa, etc.

But is this a good thing? Obviously I think so – I bought one just three days after they were released in the US. But it's not going to replace my longhand journaling, nor will it mean that I'll never buy pens again. But for some people, it might. When was the last time you got a handwritten letter that arrived in a mailbox that you didn't need a computer to access? I get cards from my parents and in-laws, and that's about it.

I have decided to do more letter writing. I believe that I might go out and get some lovely stationary to start me off. And I'll choose one of my nicest pens. And I'll write a letter to a friend. One that requires postage. Perhaps I'll try to do this once a month. It hardly seems ambitious, but if I can manage it, then perhaps it will inspire the recipients to do so as well. And the cycle will continue.

And we'll all start using more pens. And receiving things that the sender actually touched, with their own hands. Something real, tangible, that can be held.

I'm a big fan of these eee computers, and I'm hardly a luddite. But I think that in several decades, when I'm gone, my children and grandchildren will be happy to have my journals; pieces of me that I actually touched, held in my lap, carried in my bag; and not just these digital bytes, though they might be easier and ever more convenient.

By writing more letters, I will be scattering those parts of myself around the world; literally leaving my mark rather than just a digital signature.

And that, along with this gorgeous little eee pc, makes me very happy.

Cataloging my pens

I work in the world of libraries and spend a lot of time around librarians so I pick up lots of information about stuff like cataloging, indexing and subject headings. I am embarking on a grand plan to completely catalog all of my writing instruments. I've done smaller catalogs before, but this is going to be something special. This morning I took out all of my pens and organized them by brand, and then by line width, needle tip, etc. I'm making it into an excel spreadsheet.

This is a picture of all my pens this morning. I've organized them in a big rubbermaid clear box, but I had a heck of a time doing it. I know this is probably more pens than I'll ever use in my lifetime, and I just have too many choices as to which ones to use first. The ones I like least (the ball points) will probably take the longest to use up, but if I use the ones I really like first, then they'll be gone. So I don't know. It's a real pickle, and an example of why too many choices is a bad thing.

Journaling

I have started The Artists Way more times than I can count. Really, it would be a breakthrough for me to actually finish it. I get confronted by the idea of actually living my life as fully expressed and creative as I can imagine. But hey, at least I know about it, so that has to be something.

But I digress.

So I start the Artists Way, and I get confronted, and I quit it, which is a subject that belongs in another blog. The reason I bring it up is that one of the things they have you do, early on, is write Morning Pages. Three pages every morning. It clears your head, gets you ready for the day, is kind of a meditation of sorts.

I like Morning Pages because it gives me a chance to use pen and paper. I've always been a journaller, though. I got my first diary for my 7th birthday - a cute little Hello Kitty one where I pasted pictures of Wham! and discussed why I wanted to be cool like Lois Shippen.

I've always kept my journal, with varying amounts of regularity, but always at least two or three times a week. The times when I do it every day tend to be good times in my life - I think it's because I'm doing a regular writing meditation. I like to go back and look at my journals and think about what I was doing a year or ten ago.

Right now I'm writing in a Working Class Press journal. I like the pocket in the back to keep sentimental stuff. And the lines are good and narrow, which keeps my handwriting looking presentable so that my grandchildren will be able to read it. The lines are dark, the paper is smooth (but not slippery) and the binding seems to be holding up well. The one I'm using has about 120 pages, and cost about $10 at Barnes and Noble.

Tonight I just spent an hour on the living room floor listening to the Beatles really loudly and playing with the cat in between writing my three pages of thoughts. What a lovely way to spend an evening.

Why Pens? Why blog about pens?

It's been a while since I've blogged, and it's especially been a while since I blogged about pens. Since I started this blog I've done the following:
1. Met my now-husband
2. Moved in with my now-husband
3. Got married
4. Am in the process of buying a house

While I have been able to keep up a modicum of journaling, and have managed to go through about 5 or 6 notebooks, I haven't had a chance to keep writing about my love affair with pens and notebooks.

We are going to be moving up to the mountains (the Lake Arrowhead area) in a few weeks, and I think that my life will be a lot calmer without all the stress of LA just outside my door. So I am hoping to be able to write about pens and notebooks more often.

To that end, I thought I would paste in a Post to the Host that I sent to Garrison Keillor, of Prairie Home Companion fame, about my pen fetish. And his response. I think it very eloquently sums up why people like me (and him, evidently!) like pens, why they are good, why the world is a better place with them, and why we'd all be happier if we'd leave the keyboard and write out a page or two in longhand once a day.

--

Dear Garrison:

I suffer from a blank notebook/book/pen fetish. All over my apartment there are books and notebooks strewn about and I can't walk out of The Strand without dropping at least $50. This is bad for several reasons. I move around a lot. When I moved to London I could only take three suitcases, two of which were crammed with books and journals and a shoebox of pens. Having such a large percentage of my luggage taken up with books/stationary made it difficult once winter came and I needed sweaters. And I simply lack the space to store all this stuff. I'm 27—I'm moving to New Zealand soon. So what do I do? Should I sell all my books on ebay and pay back my student loans and then buy more when I have a house and room for a library? Or do I keep collecting them and just deal with the fact that I'm never going to be the kind of girl who can fit her life in a backpack?

Heather A. Buettner
New York, NY

Heather,

I'm happy to meet someone at last who shares my secret predilections. What you describe is all very familiar to me. If I see a stationery store, my heart jumps, and when I go in and see a whole counter of pens, I am helpless to resist. I buy about a dozen, or two. I love Pilot pens and the Sanford Uni-Ball and have tried various German and Japanese things, though I consider the Mont Blanc to be an obscene rip-off.

I also buy books, steadily, more than I can read, and when I stroll into a bookstore, particularly one of those independent ones that's run by people who share my tastes, it's hard to get out with less than a shopping bag full. And now that I'm rediscovering the pleasures of writing in longhand, I'm stocking up on legal pads, and various other paper supplies ... hmmm, graph paper, maybe this could give me a stronger sense of structure.

What to do? Well, don't strain your back, my dear. A person can handle only so much luggage. If you love to buy books, then you should also learn to love to give away books. But if you are actually using the pens to write on the paper, then buying them isn't a fetish. It's simply the sensible pleasure of writing, including the sensuous feel of a lovely pen in the hand and the point against the paper. A person can take a lifetime of pleasure in this. You pick up a sheet of handsome paper and your favorite pen and pick up a book to use for a writing desk and hold it on your knees and proceed to improve the page with a few paragraphs and thus you leave your mark. A noble enterprise, nothing to be sheepish about.

Pentel Hybrid Gel Roller

I bought this hybrid gel roller out of curiosity - how do you combine the feeling of a roller with the gel ink? How would it work? I normally love Pentel pens, and it had a funky, futuristic look about it, and the price wasn't bad (about $3 for 2) so I bit.

I have to say, I'm less than impressed, especially since Pentel normally does such great pens. I'm writing in my journal with it, and the paper is rather smooth, not very pourus and scratchy, and the pen makes this dreadful "fingernails going down a blackboard" sound every twentieth word or so. It depends as well on how I hold the pen - if I hold it mostly straight up and down, something about the weight of it doesn't make the scratcy noise. During those times, I quite love the pen and all is right and blissful in the world. But then I get lazy, relax my wrist, and suddenly the screaching noise happens again. It wakes my neighbors. No, not really. Honestly, it's not a horrible noise, but it is cutting, and additionally, then pen kind of gets "stuck" for just a second as that noise is happening, so I can only assume it's something up with the roller bit.

The one redeeming quality for me right now - though it's not really a redeeming quality in general - is that the ink goes really quickly. I hate throwing out a pen I've not finished - it leaves me feeling really incomplete - and I'd be hitting myself if this pen was going to have to be with me for months. As it is, I only started it on Wednesday, today is Friday, and it's well over halfway through. Just on 5 pages a day. So I'm assuming it will be finished by Sunday and I can start out the week with something nice and new.

So, in sum, this pen will do you well if you write with the pen at a straight 90 degree angle. If you have anything less than that, wear earplugs. Note that this image came from the Pentel website at www.Pentel.com

Freeform Finger Grip Gel Pen

So I found a new Office Max in Culver City last week, and it was HUGE! And it had all the Back to School stuff out, and there were just aisles and aisles of pens and notebooks. I was in Office Supply Heaven!

I bought a Finger Grip Gel Pen - and man, is this thing weird. The back of the wrapping says, "Freeform is a line of writing instruments designed to provide you comfort, performance, and control while giving everyone else a glimpse into what makes you, you..."

I started writing with it, and the ink flows well, but I found it really hurt my wrist. I don't know why - maybe it had me writing with different muscles in my hand than I normally use, but I don't think I'll be using this pen again. It just felt too weird, and after about a page, my wrist really hurt. I would not want to be having to take notes in a three hour lecture class with this pen. No thank you. For $2.99 it wasn't a bad experiment, but I don't think I'll be getting it again.

I've only ever seen this pen at Office Max, so I don't think it's out there in a big way, yet. Maybe it's just me and my hand, but if other people have the same experience, I don't think it'll ever make it out of that Office Max in Culver City...

Note: The picture was taken from the official FreeForm website at http://www.ideastreamproducts.com/FF/FFproducts/FFfinger.html

Pilot PermaBall

I just made a Fourth of July visit to Office Max and found something very interesting. A Pilot PermaBall. This is meant to be a medium point ball point pen that writes on anything, just like a permanent marker (more on my Sharpie obsession in another post). So I shelled out the $5.25 for a pack of four (with a free G2 7mm) including a red, blue, black and green pen.

It's an interesting writing instrument, I'll give it that. Takes a bit of getting used to. I'm writing with the green one right now - it has a metal tip rather than a needle tip, which I tend to not like as much, and the 7mm is a thicker line than I tend to write with normally, but it does have a fun rubber grip, and I like that.

I tried writing on a picture - I put some devil's horns on an ex boyfriend - and it worked just fine, and didn't smear, which is a plus. The ink didn't flow as nicely as I'd like on the picture, but it's a ball point, and not a felt tip marker, so I can't expect everything, I guess. It did tend to leak through normal paper, but I suppose that the point isn't to write on normal paper, but to write on plastic, or pictures, etc. So that should be forgiven.

Overall, this isn't a bad pen, and kudos to Pilot for always coming with new writing instruments, but I'm really not sure what I'm going to use this pen for, other than the aforementioned devil horns. Then again, $5 for hours and hours of fun at the ex's expense might not be a bad deal?

note: above photo was taken from the Pilot website at www.PilotPen.com

The Pentel EnerGel Retractable Needle Tip
I am really up on the whole needle tip thing. I've found that with needle tips that my writing is just so much neater and more legible. Which is certainly something I look for, given my atrocious penmanship.

Anyway, I like the Pentel EnerGel Retractable because the blue color is really vibrant. I know, that sounds kind of corny (then again, this whole blog could be considered corny) but if I'm going to write with blue ink, darnit, I want it to be vibrant blue ink. Right? Right. This pen also comes in black and red, but really, I prefer the blue to all of them.

The retractable end also makes a really great clicking sound.

See, it's all about these subtleties!

I've found that this pen works best on notebook paper, or any kind of paper that is absorbant (ie, not shiny cards, where it will smear - as will any kind of gel pen). It's got a great ergonomic design (the rubber grip is fantastic), and if I were still in college, this would be my gel pen of choice for taking notes in philosophy class.

Basic Stats:
Pentel EnerGel Retractable Pen Needle Tip
Approximately $1.75/each, cheaper by the dozen
5mm or 7mm, gel ink
Available at Walmarts, Office Max, Staples, etc.
Lasts: About 50-75 pages

note: picture comes from the Pentel website at www.Pentel.com

I am starting The Pen Blog because...well...I love pens. More than just pens. All kinds of stationary, really. But I figured this name would be easy to remember.

What is it about pens, you ask?

Long answer, but one that will become clear the more I write about pens, I hope. I guess there's something exciting about a new pen - the possibilities, and the ideas that you'll write about; ideas that you haven't even started to think about yet. Who knows? With this new pen that's in your hand now, you might write love letters, or you might doodle a new business idea, or you might make a sketch that turns out to be the muse for a great piece of art. The possibilities are endless!

There are also such subtle tactile differences in pens. One of my favorite pens is the Pilot G2, the granddaddy of gel pens. I bought my first G2 in 2000 when they were still fairly new, and I will always associate that pen with: my move to England, two incredible love affairs, and a period of growing up - all of which I wrote about in my diary, with the G2.

The G2 has matured since that first one, though. The first one I had was black, 7mm, with a normal gel tip. Now they come in 5 and 7mm, and I've found my writing is cleaner with the 5mm. Also, they recently introduced a version with a needle point, called the Precise Gel, which has quickly become my favorite of them all.

There is something so pleasurable about wrapping my fingers around the barrel of this pen. The little finger-cushion is in just the right place, and the ridges on the barrel are all placed exactly right. It's not too heavy, nor is it too light. It doesn't scratch too much on paper. And the ink flows evenly, even when you're writing at an angle.

If you're going to be writing a journal or a diary, and want something that will be comfortable for hours at a time, I highly recommend the Pilot range of gel pens. They have been much copied - more on that in the future - and while some of the copies are really very good, and much used by yours truly, there really aren't any that come as close to perfecting the entire writing experience as the G2 or Precise Gel.

Stats:
Pilot Precise Gel Pen
5mm Needle Point
Available in Black, Blue and Red
Approximately $2.10 each
Lasts: These pens have tended to last about 75 pages for me.
Availability: The G2 is available at all discount and office stores. The Precise Gel is a bit newer, and hasn't been quite as available yet, but I've found it at most Wal-Mart's, Office Max's, etc.

note: the above photo came from the Pilot website at www.PilotPen.com