New Year and New Blog

In 2014 I am reinventing my blog.  Not really reinventing, more like reinstating by way of a new blog altogether!   I have been so bogged down with the cares of this life I became disheartened.  But, I began blogging for me and part of my new year’s resolution is to begin again for me..  I have been so protective of my children and their "whatever’s" that I just stopped sharing at all.  The "if you don't have anything nice to say then nothing at all" isn't really what my blog is/was about.  It's about ME....Me sharing the struggles of parenting, of life! Me sharing my remembrances and memories.  Me writing as a coping mechanism and then letting it go, yet not forgetting..  Even me sharing things I have come to learn....often contradicting the me of old:)  Times change and life goes on....so for 2014....MY blog returns:)  I am getting old.  The new name is funny to me but not funny too....such is my life as the mom of 21, mother-in-law of two and Mimi to three beautiful little girls.....

Becoming a Matriarch  will be open only by approval or invitation....so.... friends are welcome to ask....then, GET READY!

Days of Christmas....Tori

Beach games are piling up!!  This is a new one we will enjoy learning:) 

technology

If the world were a village of 1,000 people only 70 people of the 1,000 own an automobile.  So driving is a HUGE privilege.  This week I have no extra drivers because they have lost the privilege....it makes me sad (and busy) but some lessons much be learned.  My children do not really understand that just having a car to go get into (that you don't pay gas for) is a treat!!! . They are a bunch of very privileged people.  Granted, by USA standards, they may not be given as much free reign as they would like. 

According to a study done in 2007 ( which is very outdated I am sure) 60% of children 10-14 have phones and 84% of young adults 15-18  have phones. In our house high school kids have phones (no younger) and no one under 18 has a smart phone (a phone with Internet capabilities).  We chose that a long time ago.  But watching kids today does not change my mind on that subject in the least!!  Last night I sat with Seth at Ryan's Freshman basketball game.  Seth is a joy at ballgames. He sits, he watches, he engages and even talks to moms and dads around him.  He is a good game watching buddy!  But three of his friends (good friends I might add) were at the very very top of the gym sitting with a little girl (well, the same age) all mesmerized by cell phones.  They were present, but not.  I wonder what changes would happen in Seth should he be given a cell phone like more than half the kids his age.  I can't imagine anything taking precedence over his love of sports but frankly I am so not willing to mess with it either!!  

Our high school kids have phones with limited contacts.  And it is our desire that they learn to use the phone for the tool it is...not allow it to use them!

Mercedez got a smart phone when she turned 18. I can't say that is it a good thing.  It currently is turned off due to some issues.  

My older children had phones but smart phones were not an issue then.  Technology is wonderful....and horrible.  It is a scary thing it you watch kids today.  I can remember when my children were younger we did not have cable at all.  I never wanted the TV to come between doing things....like dinner or LIFE.  I had friends who couldn't leave the house because such and such show was coming on, dinner was arranged around commercials, a life that we chose to not have.  We watched movies, movies I could turn off and turn on at MY will.  I can truly remember when my children first realized not everyone could do that:)  I feel the same about smart phones, ipads and such.....I don't want anything that comes between what we are doing....anything that interferes with LIFE.  

Technology also encourages poor communication.  On one hand good communication because you can send messages quickly.  But true communication....talking, conversing, eye to eye words?  Lost.  I appreciate my child letting me know about late practice or such, but I am frustrated when a message is shot to me over something we should have had an eye to eye conversation about.

Life is truly hard enough without handicaps.  Technology can be a handicap.  

We are so very blessed....truly.  But with good will always be bad.  It is our job, responsibility, to choose well!

Days of Christmas....Seth

Silly Seth was very excited to have his night arrive.   Funny that he is the most impatient and he is second!  LOL;). 

        

Would the REAL mom please stand up?!

I am so sick of the "you're not my real mom" sentence.   I spend my life caring for my children. I have been a stay at home mom for 26 years.  A REAL mom.  It would be impossible to list all the things real moms do....it is simply endless.  But some things are more important than others...

A real mom....

Loves her children 
Provides a safe environment 
She makes sure her children grow up in the church, that they know God
Ensures her children are educated
Takes care of her children (endless......)
Maintains a home for our children
Feeds her children
Clothes her children
Provides Medical, Dental, and Eye care to her children
She provides transportation to school and games and practices
She is a role model who instills (or tries to instill) morals and values in her children.
She loves their father

I could go on with all the little things...but the job of a real mom is BIG.

When my children yell "You aren't my real mom!"  That would be a lie.  I am the only real mom they have!  I CHOSE to be a mom and it is my desire to be a good one.

This weekend in a family meeting I told my children that my feelings were never ever hurt when those words were thrown at me.

The "You aren't my birth mom" wouldn't hurt either. I am eternally grateful I am not the birth mom to any of my adopted, much loved, children. IF I were that mom they would not be in my life!!!! If I were that mom choices or circumstances would have them not with me!   Don't get me wrong...I am thankful for the women who chose to give birth rather than abort my children.  I have very few of my adopted children, very very few, who came to our home because a mother chose us.  The majority were removed due to drugs, alcohol, abuse, neglect, domestic violence and plain old bad choices! Those moms chose selfishness over their children. I never never never will be that kind of mom.  I will never choose that life.

I am a real person who really loves her children, in spite of words, I am real.

Good Help is Hard to Find!!

These girls are just the bomb.  I know there are stink bombs....the kind of people who just stink up the world.  But this pair?  To me they are just SWEET.  That may sound silly but I have spent the majority of my life raising children.  Its my joy but not always joyful.  When this pair come home it is joyful.  They HELP....the lovely championship that comes from old friendships and good company.  The night before we had all the family to my house Chelsea was up until after midnight by my side cooking and preparing. No complaints...just joy. Sarah was texting me before 5am...haha...she was up early with me working in the kitchen ....again....with no complaining just joy.  Chelsea joined us and the only thing I can say is I AM BLESSED.  If I die tomorrow I know these girls could, would, carry on traditions and be the wonderful women I dreamed they would be and THEY ARE!!

In the middle of some stink bombs this pair overwhelmed the ugly with their beauty.  I sure do hope in years to come I can say that about all my girls...but for today? Today I am so blessed by these sweet girls!!! oh how I love them!!!

December....it's arrived!

I am not even going to talk about my absence except to say this.....My momma always said, "If you can't say anything nice, then dont say anything at all!!"  After a month of "Thankfuls" I might have found my balance!!

I have enjoyed a whole lot of this over the last little bit.....

Grand children are so much fun!!!!  I love them so much!!!

These 3 had thier wisdom teeth removed on the 22nd of November.....

Seth's football ended....

Baseltball began....

Lita's Cross Country ended with a super nice banquet....

A few more things.....haha....but as I pick up were I am....it is DECEMBER......and I get to enjoy the season and this sweet trio: