One day, when I am dead and gone, I picture my kids all sitting around the kitchen table discussing all that their dear, departed mother taught them.
And I'm pretty sure all they are going to come up with was how good I was at packing a box.
It Begins:
In November of 2010, for reasons too numerous to mention (and too selfish to think about) Vinny and I packed up the kids, left Idaho, and took a promotion in Albuquerque, New Mexico.
Abq was fantastic! Sunny, TONS to do, great people, great culture, great weather... Vinny and I really loved it. The kids, however, did not. School was brutal for them. I cried each and every day that I sent them to school...and they cried almost each and every day when they returned. Not the kind of crying that kids do when they want to get out of something, but the kind of crying kids do when they are having their soul sucked out of them. Awful.
After four months of this, I joined the ranks of the clinically insane and started homeschooling my children. No, I had no idea what I was doing. I found a homeschooling group and, hoping for some support, took the family to see what Abq homeschoolers were all about.
I don't want to add to the stereotype, and I know that many homeschoolers are perfectly normal. Just not the ones in Albuquerque. That day I saw enough floppy boobs, kids named "Hummingbird", and anti-government bumper stickers to last me a lifetime. We only went once, and Vinny and I decided to go it alone after that.
It was brutal, but we did it. The Albuquerque school system was one year ahead of Idaho's. We had moved the kids in November, so for K it was as if she learned 2 months of 5th grade and then suddenly jumped into the middle of 6th. We spent the rest of the year doing nothing but school. We made up our own curriculum, based on Idaho and New Mexico's standards, and the poor kids worked their rears off well into the summer.
We had somehow ended up in the worst apartment in Albuquerque, and the schedule for Vinny's new job was crazy. We were all beginning to feel like we had followed the wrong promptings...or failed to see the lesson...or generally made a huge mistake moving to Abq.
Vinny and I decided that the kids and I would move to Arizona and he would follow as soon as a position opened. It seemed logical at the time. The company Vinny works for has their east area headquarters here. We believed that as soon as he finished his contract in Abq, Vinny could transfer to Arizona with us. His contract allowed him to transfer within the company after November 2011.
WSM
Then came Easter. We went to visit my dad and wicked step-mother (WSM) in Colorado for Easter. Now, WSM has been in my life for 24 long and miserable years, and while it has been her life's mission to keep my father from his kids, she periodically looses sight of her goal and is nice for a few months. This was one of those months.
WSM had always wanted to move back to Arizona and my dad thought he was getting transferred there. Since WSM didn't want to live alone, and my dad wouldn't be able to move there for months, they asked if the kids and I would live with WSM until Vinny was transferred. So during our visit, and in a moment of total insanity, we agreed that my dad would buy a house in Arizona and WSM, me, and my kids would all live happily together.
I admit it, this was a choice made out of desperation. I desperately wanted my kids out of Abq, and I truly felt like Arizona would be great for our family. I also knew that it would be difficult to support a household in New Mexico and one in Arizona. I felt sick about living with my WSM for most of the spring, and summer. Talk about a stupor of thought. My 24 years with my WSM told me that she was libel to turn into The Devil at any moment. But I did it anyway. And in July of 2011, I sold my soul to WSM for cheap place to live.
Three months into that bad decision, I was a beaten woman. I can't even go into the details without feeling so ashamed of what I allowed to happen. But I honestly felt trapped. Vinny could not leave because of his contract. I could not leave because I was broke. We were both at a loss and had started considering even crazier ideas than what got us there in the first place.
My Girls
I have spent most of my life feeling like I took care of people in my family. I honestly didn't think that my mom and sisters would fight so hard for me, but they did. That's how I found myself with my kids, rabbit, and parakeet in tow, checking into a hotel at 11:00 one night having just fled for my life from my wicked step-mother. By the next day I had moving money in my account, and a dozen people ready to move us into a new home that evening.
The Vacation Home
I had found a home that was under contract as a short-sale and signed a month to month lease. It was huge and beautiful and had a fantastic pool and we called it our "Vacation Home"...which it truly felt like after the nightmare of living with WSM. It was a wonderful time. We made as much noise as we wanted, rode scooters through the house, took long bubble baths in the giant tub, built forts that stayed up for weeks and generally fell back into the life that we knew. We spent Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas all in that house, and in just the few short months we were there, we somehow reset our life as a family. Minus Vinny, of course.
But all vacations must come to an end, and while I was hoping we could stay there until Vinny was transferred, we had to move again. The sale on the rental house fell through and the original foreclosure date was reinstated. The new owners could have been real jerks and demanded that I was out within 10 days, but they decided to let us stay through the end of the year. To top it off, they showed up to help me move the last of my stuff (all that stuff that is left when no one else is there and somehow takes another 5 loads to get rid of), and before I drove away, the husband asked if he could offer a prayer then and there that my family would be reunited again. I cried and cried and it was one of the sweetest experiences of my life.
Perfect Fit:
That's how I came to be here, a tiny little house that fits us perfectly. I have learned so much this last year. I have learned that people are generous. Generous with their time, their money, their families, their support, their hearts. Even strangers. I have learned what Vinny really means to me and to our children. I have had some great things happen in the last year or so. I've also had some awful times, and it seems like blogs were meant more for bragging than telling. But there it is. My telling.
So where do we stand now? Well, the kids are in a fantastic school that I love, love, love. They are both doing good. K was just awarded a citizenship award from the Mayor and got a 3rd place on her 6th grade Social Studies Fair project. B has shot ahead three grade levels and just today we found out he does NOT have neurofibromatosis (a potentially awful disorder that his doctor thought he had). Little P and I spend our days soaking up the sun at local parks and marveling at the constant 70 degrees, sunny, 'winter'. They rotate who gets to sleep with Mom, although P usually ends up as a 3am party crasher no matter whose turn it is. Vinny has recently decided that it's time he and I shape up, so he has us both on a 60 day juice fast. That's a topic for another post. We have seen so many wonderful things happen this year. If I was keeping a tally, I'd still have to say the blessings completely outweigh the trials.
Vinny and I are still hoping he can get a job in Arizona, although he did just decide to apply for a transfer to a different state. So maybe I'm moving again? Honestly, we feel so lost at this point. It's almost terrifying to think about making another decision at all. They all seem to have turned out so poorly lately. But, only God knows what He has in store for us. Let's just all hope I get better at listening to Him.