Heaven Day

In honor of the third anniversary of Ryan's passing day, we thought of our angel by having a little picnic in the backyard with donuts (halo's) while writing messages on white star balloons to send up to heaven. The boys love this tradition. Yesterday morning, the 24th, was really hard, Jonathon was at school and Caleb was asleep and I watched Ryan's video of when he was in the NICU and I cried a lot. But after I got it all out for the day, wishing I could do anything just to hold and kiss him again, I got myself back on track, picked up Jonathon and we went about our day running errands for our evening events. Jonathon made my entire day by pulling out a little flower from his pocket wen we got home, he said he picked it for me at school! He melts my heart. I'm grateful for my family who was able to spend heaven day with us for the first time and share our traditions.

Caleb enjoying his halo :)

Writing a message to send to his big brother

Jonathon had his Jack Sparrow pirate costume on of course, so he wrote his name and Ryan's name with hearts and then a picture of a pirate so Ryan could see how cool he looked :)

Little brother Alex writing his message to his nephew

Big brother Chris and his wife Talynn writing their messages

Caleb finishing up his donut

Getting ready to send them off to heaven

Watching them float away

Up and up they go! We love you Ryan and loved honoring you all week, every August and each day in our hearts. It's amazing the wonderful things that have happened and will continue to happen because of Ryan. We're so lucky to have him always... forever ours. Until we meet again!

Ryan's 3rd Birthday!

We celebrated Ryan's 3rd Birthday today. I can't believe it's been three years already! You would think it would feel like an eternity, but it really has felt like just a year ago he was born. With Caleb added to our family it really sped up the time. This morning all four of us were in bed talking about Ryan and when we blew kisses up to heaven, Caleb blew his first kiss and it was the cutest thing ever. We celebrated with family over for a wonderful birthday dinner and with singing happy birthday and had an amazing cake with three little candles. When Jonathon saw the table set up he was so excited and yelled, "Yay! It's Ryan's Birthday!" It was so sweet to see how excited he was and it gave me flashbacks of when he was two yrs. old and he ran into the room at the hospital to hold his baby brother Ryan for the first time, it was the same excited face yelling, "Baby!"

We're going to collect donations again this year for Ryan's Closet, we'll be shipping the preemie outfits, blankets and preemie hats from Fresno, CA to Seattle in three weeks where they will then be shipped to Uganda, Africa. Last year was our first year and it turned out so well, so we're excited to do it again. I put all the information on facebook so if any of you out there want to donate that don't have facebook, leave me a comment and I'll get back to you.

We miss Ryan very much, everyday he is in our hearts and thoughts and today was a peaceful and beautiful day remembering his birth. The day of his birth was so scary, but such a miraculous day as well. I'm so thankful he was born alive, that was a miracle in itself, it was a very close call. For the next four days we will be thinking of the four special days we shared with him. We'll watch his videos and I'll miss kissing his cute little nose and head, I'll be missing his tiny hands squeezing my finger, I'll miss watching his legs kick all around, and I'll miss the way his little eyes would open when he heard our voices talking or singing to him. He, along with our other two boys, is the best thing that's ever happened to us. He changed our hearts and our lives for the better. We hope to live a life to where he will be proud of us. Thank you sweet Ryan for your example of strength, courage, hope and love. Happy 3rd Birthday baby boy!

Proud big brother :)

I have the sweetest friends and family! My amazing friend Summer and her family did this today in our behalf, so extremely sweet!!! We were truly touched. Thank you guys again and again!

New Beginnings

This summer has just flown by and we very much welcome these new and exciting beginnings.We finally got a house! We're going to be living in a nice gated development called European Grove. We move in Sept. 1st! Isn't she cute? :)

This little guy started Pre-Kindergarten yesterday! I cannot even believe it! He was so excited, especially to actually be wearing a backpack this year like a big boy! Helping him get ready yesterday morning, helping him with his backpack, it was the strangest feeling because as I was looking at him he was still that little chubby baby, but with a huge backpack on! It was sad for a moment. He has been waiting to start school all summer. I love that he loves it. He is going to Fairmont Private school, a wonderful private school from preschool to first grade. My little brother went here many years ago and I'm grateful that we got him into this school. His teacher is lovely and his classroom is every little kids dream, it's so cute! When he met his teacher he listened to her so intently and answered her questions like such a big boy. When it was time for me to go there were no tears on either end, I was so happy that he was so excited, no fear at all, he just waved good bye and went back to playing with a new friend. Totally opposite of how I was when I was little! He has such a zest for life. We're so proud of him and look forward to his bright future. Here goes the next 16 plus years of school! Ahh! Yay for new beginnings here in sunny California.

San Diego Wedding

I went with my parents and siblings to San Diego last weekend, one of my most favorite places in California, for my little cousin Preston's wedding! We had such a wonderful time! San Diego is so beautiful and I hope someday I will live there. The bride and groom were beautiful and so fun to watch. Congrats Preston and welcome to the family Becky! Being in San Diego brought back a flood of memories of my own wedding there, over six years ago! Wow! The San Diego temple is my favorite, it looks like a castle. Also, the last time I was in San Diego was 3 years ago, when I was 6 months pregnant with Ryan, so I have sweet memories of that time there too :)

The happy bride and groom :)

San Diego fun!

Relaxing at La Jolla shores, where I ran on the beach with my bridal party after the wedding :)

At the best Mexican restaurant ever, they make homemade tortillas inside right there for you! Had to get a picture with the awesome mariachi band :)

Mom and I in front of the temple

My mom and I helped my aunt and her husband decorate for the beach themed reception here in Fresno, turned out so cute and was super fun!

Me and my handsome boys!

Grandma with her boys

Jonathon LOVES to dance, it's so funny, right when he heard the music he just went straight out there and started dancing the night away :)

The six hour drive home with lots of traffic in LA got a little crazy with my siblings and I in the back seat, wearing my dads hat singing to Michael Jackson, oh yeah!  Fun memories.

A Pirate's Life for Me!!!

We celebrated Jonathon's 5th Birthday last week! I can't believe my baby is a 5 year old! For some reason this birthday really made me sad! He's growing way too fast! When he turned four he still felt little to me, a little boy, and even though five is still so young, he just seems like a big boy now! When I think of five I think of kindergarten and sports teams and the beginning of lots of other big boy things and even more responsibility on our part.  It's intimidating because I want to be the best mom and do everything right and the older he gets the more independent he get's, which is right, but hard to let go a little. Five years went by super fast for us, we watched his birth video the day of his birthday and it seemed like just yesterday he was born quickly and peacefully on the most beautiful day, making me a mother for the first time and thankfully my first birth experience so perfect. It's so amazing to me how Heavenly Father sends us these children when they are supposed to come and in what order. Although he can be a handful to say the least and the older he gets the more of a handful he becomes, he has been and will always be exactly what we need! 

For his birthday this year as you have probably figured out he wanted a pirate party! His friend had an awesome pirate party this past spring in WA and he never forgot it. His favorite show is on the disney channel called Jake and the Never Land Pirate's! So my mom and I went full force in planning a fun birthday for him. It turned out so cute and was such a blast! We had family and friends over and celebrated with a pirate bounce house, lots of pirate themed snacks, drinks, dinner and dessert. Jake was in charge of the treasure hunt and he went all out of course, leaving clues, making maps for the kids, and getting the loot together! The kids loved this and were so happy about all their treasures! Jake is such an enthusiastic person I think the kids thought he really was a pirate. I made Jonathon a pirate cake which he was excited about, it's not amazing, but it made him happy :)

The pirate ship cake

Arggggg!

A Pirate family!

Me hearties!

Cousins!

Daddy giving some clues!

I love this picture of him with his map!

I loved this clue, a sunken bottle with a clue inside he had to pull out of the pool :)

The loot!

Best picture ever, melts my heart! He's wishing so hard!

Fire the cannons!

There she blows!

He's been wanting a huge pirate ship for so long, so he was ecstatic and jumping around like crazy when he opened this big guy! And in true Jonathon form told everyone they could leave now after he opened it and to make sure everyone's brothers and sisters were kept away from his gift, can you tell he has a little curious brother that likes to follow him everywhere?  :)

Love birthdays, love my birthday boy, he's my treasure, excited to see what 5 is like! This summer has gone by so fast, school's starting! He starts pre-kindergarten this week! And..... we got a house! Move in Sept. 1st! Finally.... will post more about that soon.