21 years of missing you

I'm not even sure what to write in this post....

I love you dad and I miss you all the time.  There are so many times in the last 21 years that I wish you were here to share my happy and sad moments with.  I cry cause you weren't physically around for my first date, my wedding, the birth of my children, etc.  I know you are here in spirit, but I still wish you were here in person!! If it is possible please hug and kiss my babies before they get here!

Thanks for being such an amazing father!!  You were the perfect example of love!!  I want to be able to have your sense of kindness, charity, and love.  I hope I make you proud.  I miss you more than words can say!!

Ultrasound Stats

Yesterday I had an appointment and I don't want to forget the stats...
Baby A (girl)= Heart Rate 150 bpm.  Estimated weight: 2 pounds 2 oz (27 weeks 6 day) all is well.  We got to see her moving her mouth and tongue.  She also emptied her bladder during the ultrasound so we saw it kinda big and also very small.
Baby B (boy)= Heart Rate 128 bpm.  Estimated weight: 2 pounds 70z (28 weeks 1 day) all is well.  He kept moving his feet from by his own face to down by his sisters face.  He is all over the place.

Baby A sits more facial so I feel most all of her movements.  Baby B is deeper inside I don't feel him quite as often unless it is a strong movement.  Both placentas are sitting in my upper left so my left ribs are quite protected, whereas my right ribs have baby girl's feet in them constantly!!

I think my scale is a little kinder than the one at the doc's office (plus I was wearing shoes) according to the doc scale I have gained 22.6 pounds.  I passed my glucose test with flying colors!! Yay!  My blood pressure is still good, but still being closely monitored as twins pregnancy increases your chances of preeclampsia.  I am measuring 34 weeks (which is why I feel so large).  Doctor told me to take it easy until I get to 30 weeks then he wants me off my feet as much as possible and to take two 2-3 hour rests per day.
As of now baby boy is breech which means most likely a c-section.  Not real excited about that, but don't want to add any risks to my baby boy during delivery.  Let's all hope and pray he decides to turn when baby girl goes into the birth canal and gives him a little more room!

28 WEEKS!!

I think I grew since last week!!

How far along? 28 weeks

Weight Gain? 18 pounds.  I feel like the weight gain has come in spurts.

Stretch Marks?  Not yet, but don't think i'll be able to say that much longer!

Belly button in or out?  Out and stretching weird.

Movement?  Lots of movement still.  Starting to hurt when baby girl kicks me in the ribs.  Baby boy is all over the place (especially on my bladder)!

Milestones?  Officially in the 3rd trimester!  Which also means I am now on light bed rest!

Sleep?  Waking up less than 2 times in the night excites me way more than it should!!  I have created a trail in the carpet from the bed to the bathroom.  If it isn't a bathroom break keeping me awake it is hunger or pain.

Best moment this week?  Spending last Saturday with Trevor and the boys... getting out in the fresh air while getting a Christmas tree.  The getting out moments are coming to an end with light bed rest.

Miss anything?  Getting out of bed without pain somewhere in my body.  I miss having a "lap" when Caleb or Kelson want to read books I have to convince them to sit next to me instead of on me.  I miss picking up Caleb every time he wants held.

Symptoms?  Starting to feel braxton hicks (especially when driving).  Sore back.

What I'm looking forward to this week?  Going to my ultra sound on Monday to see my sweet babies and ask the doc all my questions.  And of course I'm super excited for Christmas and family time!

Other random things to share??  My glucose test is on Monday and I am scared to death that I'm going to fail and have to take the 3 hour fasting test!  I have had no problems in the past, but the chances increase when carrying multiples.  I live on carbs and sugar!  Most of the food I want to eat would not be allowed on a gestational diabetes diet.
I feel like I maybe should have gained more weight by this point and I feel nervous I'm not in taking enough calories... hoping the doc can tell me if I am on track or how to help me gain healthy weight.  I don't think it helps that everyone tells me I am small... you wouldn't think it would get old to hear that, but it does.  Especially when I am already worried about my weight.
I am starting to get heartburn again.  I had it at the beginning of my 2nd trimester, but it sort of subsided and now I think it is coming back more frequent.
I am starting to feel like this pregnancy is close to over.  I feel anxious to get the nursery done and be ready sooner than normal.  I am nervous for strict bed rest and hope it doesn't happen!

OH the weather outside is frightful!!

The boys have always loved playing outside.  So, for them... winter is hard!!  A couple of weeks ago when the high temps were under 5 or 10 the boys finally decided to give outside a try.  We got them all bundled up, coveralls, boots, coats, hats, and socks for their hands cause we don't have mittens.  They went outside and enjoyed it for a total of 15 minutes then they were back inside.  I would much rather be inside in the warm so I am glad they don't LOVE the cold and snow!!

The Comparison!

 When I first found out I was pregnant time when by kinda slow, especially while we were waiting to announce.  Then, when I found out it was twins I think time stopped for about 3 weeks!  Ever since the holiday season began (around Thanksgiving) time is going by SO fast!

I have been working on baby quilts, baby burp rags, and getting ready for Christmas.  Oh and I can't forget I have also been growing and growing!!  People tell me all the time "you are so small for having twins!"  Well folks, in my opinion I'm not small!  At my last appointment I was measuring 4 cm larger than a single pregnancy!! I am pretty sure my body hurts like i'm huge!!  I never really got big with singletons.  Let's compare... 

36 weeks

27 weeks

I know it. I live it. I love it.

There are moments in each of our lives that shape us, that make us who we are, what we become, or make us want to be better.  Sometimes these moments are big and monumental, and sometimes they are just "ah-ha" moments while we are living our daily lives.  I will be the first to admit that I struggle with living the small simple things of the gospel... reading scriptures daily has always been hard for me, having family home evening is not very often, and other things to that I know I should be better at doing.  Just because I don't do all these things doesn't mean I don't believe.  I love the talk "I know it. I live it. I love it." By Ann M. Dibb  (2nd counselor Young Women's Presidency) it can be found here.  This is probably my favorite part from this article...

The final phrase in my declarative statement is “I love it.” Gaining a knowledge of the gospel of Jesus Christ and diligently living gospel principles in our everyday lives leads many members of the Church to exclaim enthusiastically, “I love the gospel!”

This feeling comes as we feel the Holy Ghost witnessing to us that we are children of our Heavenly Father, He is mindful of us, and we are on the right path. Our love for the gospel grows as we experience the love of our Father in Heaven and the peace promised by the Savior as we show Him we are willing to obey and follow Him.

At different times in our lives, whether we are new converts to the Church or lifelong members, we may find that this vibrant enthusiasm has faded. Sometimes this happens when times are challenging and we must practice patience. Sometimes it happens at the peak of our prosperity and abundance. Whenever I have this feeling, I know I need to refocus my efforts on increasing my gospel knowledge and living gospel principles more fully in my life.

Recently I read a blog post of an old college ward friend that has left the church... It really made me think about the gospel and how much it means to me in my life!  There are definitely times in my life I know that I need to "refocus my efforts on increasing my gospel knowledge and living the principles more fully"  Her blog post reminded me of that very thing.  I need to stop worrying about the trivial and temporal things and worry more about the eternal prospective!  This is the perfect time of year to refocus on my Savior and live the way he did. 

I AM A MORMON!  I KNOW IT.  I LIVE IT. I LOVE IT!   

Feeling Grateful!

I'm feeling very GRATEFUL today!!  The list could go on and on and on if I mentioned all the things I'm grateful for. So... I'll just mention the ones at the top of my list!
I'm so grateful for Trevor.  He is such an amazing father and husband.  He works so hard all the time to provide for us.  He is Mr. Fix-it, occasional cook, and overly protective of me while i'm pregnant.  He is the evening story book reader and loves to play chase with his boys.  His testimony of the Gospel and the Savior are amazing and I just could not ask for better!  LOVE HIM!!

I'm eternally grateful that my Heavenly Father trusted me enough to be a mother!!  I love so much the sweet baby girl and baby boy that are not even born yet.  I can't even imagine how different live will be in a few months, but I already know I wouldn't change it for anything.

I also am SO lucky to have the cutest fun-loving little boys!!  They make my life stressful, hard, amusing, and wonderful!  They fight, they play, and I love them unconditionally.  How can you not love these sweet faces?!

I'm also very grateful for my momma!!  She is an amazing example of strength.  She is a great friend, loving, and so happy all the time.  She is a good listening ear and I'm lucky to be her daughter. 

Not only do I have a great mom, but I have the best siblings!!  We all get along very well and I couldn't have asked for a better family to be raised in.

Especially grateful for the wonderful friendships my sisters and I have... I can tell them anything and ask for advice about anything... we share secrets and ideas and style. They are my dearest friends!

I married into the GREATEST family!  I get along well with all of my in-laws.  My father in law is an AWESOME grandpa to my children and my mother in law is so loving and a great teacher in so many ways (sewing, cooking, baking, charity etc.)  Couldn't have joined a better family. Love them all!!

I am also very very thankful for the Temples and that we can all be family forever!  I'm grateful for the knowledge that I can see my dad again.  I am thankful for my life that I am capable of doing so many wonderful things.  Thankful for my body and my home.  I'm SO SO grateful for my Savior Jesus Christ that he lived and he died for me and that he suffered for my sins.

I have so many wonderful things to be grateful for!!

Enjoy Thanksgiving and remember the wonderful eternal things you are grateful for!

Pregnancy Journal

This pregnancy is much harder than being pregnant with one, my back constantly aches, I have to use the bathroom about every 2 hours, I feel like i'm starving every 2-3 hours, and I have NO energy.  But it is also a little more fun with all the extra ultra sounds and feeling the movement so much sooner!!  Yesterday I had another ultrasound and now I know the exact positions and locations of the babies. They might change position still before running out of room, but they are probably not going to change location.  It is kinda fun to know which baby is moving.
Some fun pregnancy facts from the ultra sound at 23 weeks 6 days
Baby Girl (A)- Head down position with feet in my ribs.  We got to watch her swallow and open and close her mouth during u/s. Measuring 22 weeks 4 days.  Approximate weight is 1 pound 2 oz.  Heart Rate- 141 bpm.
Baby Boy (B)- Mostly in breech position- head in upper abdomen, butt just below left ribs.  Measuring 23 weeks 1 day.  Approximate weight is 1 pound 4 oz.  Heart Rate- 130 bpm.

Baby boy profile/body

My favorite pic from this u/s.  Baby girl profile and baby boy foot

Friends today Enemies tomorrow

Kelson and Caleb are best friends one day and worst enemies the next!!  They play, the fight, they play, they fight!  I love the moments when they get along well and just enjoy spending time together!

FINALLY!!

After lots of bugging... Trev finally gave in and we opened the envelope!
Even before we opened the envelope, I had these cards made (except the genders) and ordered scratch off stickers.  As soon as the stickers arrived we mailed off these cute cards to my family and shortly after told all of Trev's family.

We couldn't be more excited to have 1 of each!!  I wasn't way surprised, cause ever since the beginning of this pregnancy I had a feeling I was having a boy... but never a strong feeling it was more than 1.  I also had a dream it was a boy and a girl and after the ultrasound I just kinda thought that.

I am growing and getting more uncomfortable everyday.  I am also feeling more and more movement everyday... which is amazing!!  I can already see the movements in my belly which is weird cause it seems too early to be able to see it, but I guess I do have around 2 pounds of baby in there.  The doctor told me at my last appointment that he is a little worried about me- because of my small frame.  He already told me to plan self-disciplined bed rest starting at 28 weeks.  Self-disciplined bed rest is basically taking it easy... resting multiple times a day- including laying on my left side more frequently, not lifting, and mostly not standing for long periods of time.  He wants me off my feet early so that the pressure and weight of the babies won't press on my cervix and make it thin in preparation to labor.  It will be hard to do so little, but it will be worth it if theses babies can stay in there for a good 36 to 37 weeks.  The doc set my goal date at February 13th- which is 36 weeks!
Some random things about this pregnancy I don't want to forget... I think at 22 weeks I have gained around 10 pounds.  And I can't seem to ever get enough to eat.  I started wearing maternity pants around 21 weeks and they are definitely more comfortable.  I don't get heartburn often yet, but when I get it- it is so bad I feel like I can't breath! Lifting Caleb and bending over for things is getting harder and harder.  At the end of the day after standing for too long at once my back really aches.  I have to tell myself constantly how worth it all of the aches and pains are!  I'm already very excited to meet these little babies.

Cowboys and Indians

We started off our Halloween fun on Wednesday, Oct. 30th.  Kelson had a Halloween party at preschool and he was pretty excited about going as a cowboy!  He loves school and he loved getting candy at school that day.

Kelson ready for school

 Then, later that night we went to the fun trunk or treat and carnival at Beryl Elementary.  The boys had fun.  We had Caleb the Indian, Kelson the cowboy, and Briggs as Paul Bunion.  They enjoyed getting all the candy at the Trunk or Treat and then we got to play a few of the carnival games, but they are still pretty young so we didn't stay too long.
After the carnival we headed over to see Grandma and Brett in the costumes.  They had fun eating candy and playing at Grandma's for a while.

I had to work on Halloween, so I was kind of tired, but we still had a fun time Trick or Treating with Rylee the cowgirl!  We just walked to a few houses on Andrea's street and drove to a few other places.  Rylee and Caleb loved getting candy and Kelson was silly and waited in the car at the last house cause going to the door wasn't worth the candy.

We had a Happy Halloween and hope you all had a Happy Halloween as well!!

Hi babies

When we first found out we were pregnant, Kelson was really excited, but Caleb did NOT want a baby.  After we found out it was 2 he still was not happy and Kelson thought it was great!  Soon Caleb started hearing anyone say baby and he will say "2 babies."  He seems excited, but I don't think he realizes how much will really change when they get here.  He still sometimes says he doesn't want babies here, but I think we are making progress with him starting to like them before they are even born.
Well, usually when we talk about babies he tries to lift up my shirt to find them.  Last night he put his hands on my belly and said right to it "Hi babies"  It was one of the sweetest moments this pregnancy.  I love my boys so much and am so excited for them to have 2 more babies to play with and interact with.

The Envelope

The debate is still going on... do we find out the genders or do we wait?!  Well, I really really want to know, and Trevor really doesn't want to know.  How do you agree or compromise on something so black and white- when you can't make gray??  Well, I had him convinced it would still be fun to find out before if we opened it on Christmas morning.  BUT.... that is SO far away.  I have a cute little card with the genders on it sealed in an envelope from my ultra sound yesterday.  I will probably wait a little while, but I am hoping Trevor will give in and let us open the envelope before Christmas.  

We are so excited to be having twins and yesterday at my appointment the doctor said there is 2 placenta's and that means they are more than likely fraternal NOT identical.  It makes me even more excited after seeing their sweet little pictures at the ultra sound...

Twin A profile

Twin A saying "Hi" (Hand)

Twin B

Twin B foot

Just some stats from yesterday's appt:

Baby A= weighs 8oz and has a heart beat of 146 bpm (beats per minute)

Baby B= weighs 9oz and has a heart beat of 150 bpm 

Elk Hunting

For the elk hunt we headed over to Boulder Mountain.  We got to enjoy some time in the cabin with the Shakespear's which is always fun cause we don't get to see them nearly enough!!  We left for Boulder on Friday early afternoon and stayed until Monday.  Everyone enjoyed hunting, eating, visiting, and the kids loved crafting and playing with friends.  It was a fun weekend!

2 LITTLE HEART BEATS

15 1/2 WEEKS- Pregnancy Journal entry

Yesterday, I went to a doctor appointment... if it wasn't for the wonderful Doppler and hearing heart beats the quick 15 minute appointments wouldn't be fun.  The doc was able to find the first heart beat right off.  Finding the 2nd heart beat when they are this small is a little tricky... but he found it.  It was more faint and echoy, but I LOVED hearing both heart beats!  I am starting to faintly feel the babies move- which is one of my favorite parts of pregnancy.
My next appointment is with the Maternal Fetal Medicine doctor- Dr. Kurt Hales.  He is a high risk pregnancy doctor.  He will do my next ultra sound, yes the one where we can find out what we are having... except... we might not find out!!

Other Random Pregnancy Stats: Gained 2 pounds.  Starting to show (reg clothes too small- maternity clothes to big).  Bathroom breaks still very frequent.  Mild back pain and bursitis pain starting.  Low energy level.  Favorite foods: CARBS!!  Potatoes or pasta please.  Ice cream is also way up on the charts!  

The debate...

Ever since the day we had an ultrasound and found out we were having twins I told Trev, "we are finding out the genders"... normally he begs and pleads not to find out.  So, I though he was all on board with not finding out.  Well, Saturday when my mom was up here she said something like "it'll be easier to prepare when you know what they are."  And Trev says... We aren't finding out!  EXCUSE ME WHAT?!?!?!  So then later that evening me and Trev talk about it and he says he doesn't want to find out.  "Think how fun it would be to find out when they are born!"  He said.  Well, yes it is way fun to wait, but with having two babies and NOT much girl stuff it makes me nervous to not find out! (Trev says I can buy stuff for both/either gender to get a little more prepared- thanks babe, but this doesn't fully convince me!) Trev doesn't want to find out.... and I am having a debate within myself as to if we should. How about a compromise.... how you wonder?!  I think we should ask the doc at our ultra sound if the babies are the same gender?!  If they aren't we know we are having a boy and girl.  If they are... we still don't know if it is boys or girls.  Not totally up to us if we find out....
What do you guys think?  Find out genders?  Find out if they are the same gender? or Find out nothing until birth?  Sound of in the comments!

Just for fun....

14 weeks - starting to show!!

DRUM ROLL PLEASE...

We are excited, scared, shocked, and HAPPY

You read it right...

BABY 3 & 4  are due March 13, 2014!!

I tried three times... every time I upload the picture it turns it sideways... not sure why!  The yellow glare is the top of the sonogram.  If you look close -and sideways- you can see Baby A (on top) head -and body is kinda blurry.  Baby B (bottom) is head on left and body to the right!  AMAZING!!

TWINS!

**Disclaimer** After reading a few comments I thought I'd add this to the post...

This picture was taken before we knew we were expecting #4 (thanks Photoshop for adding the & 4)!!  Trevor would probably be smiling more and I might look much more afraid!

Let's play catch...

Time for catch up... it has been a long time since i have posted anything.
This is our summer in a nutshell...

Swimming and playing at the splash pad

Kelson turned 4!!

Pioneer day fun

Barlow Family Pictures

Brant and Baylee's wedding

Trip to Twin Falls and Boise

And at the End of Summer.... My Kelson Bug started preschool!!!

We had a fun and busy summer!!