I Choose to be Different and Embrace those Different from Myself

I chose to post this on my personal blog, even though I mainly post on a joint blog since I've been married.  This is more personal to me as an individual.  I have struggled over the last few days.  Between black churches being set on fire, to the legalization of same sex marriage, to the debate of whether or not the Star Spangled Banner should be sung before sporting events!  It seems like no one is getting along, if people don't get their way they are going to the extremes to get their way through name-calling, accusations, rioting and destroying others' properties and many other ways to show their hate towards others, and Christians are in danger of losing their religious freedom to believe what they feel Christianity teaches.  We have forgotten to embrace our differences, and we have forgotten that all have the constitutional right to express our beliefs while learning to live with others different from ourselves...and it is inevitable that there will be differences...

I am a Christian.

I will continue to love others.

I will continue to believe in God and Jesus Christ.

That will not change.

I am told that I am a bigot, a racist, and many other expletives because

I believe in what I have been taught Christianity teaches.

There are many interpretations of Christianity, but if my interpretation is different from yours,

You assume that I hate you, but do I?

 

There are a small minority of Christians who may go to the extremes,

But is that not the case in every group fighting for their rights and beliefs?

I express my beliefs as you express yours…why is that wrong?

I do not force you to believe what I believe.  I might share my beliefs with you, as you share yours with me,

Yet if my beliefs are different from yours, I am a bigot, racist, and I hate those who do not agree with me.

In Christianity, you CHOOSE to believe or not to believe.  Just like you CHOOSE to agree or disagree.

Yet I am now on the verge of losing my rights to choose what to believe, and I am losing my rights to agree or disagree.  

Why is that ok?  Is there not a way to co-exist embracing and learning from our differences?

 

I’m not forcing anyone to change their lifestyle, yet I am on the verge of being forced to change mine.

People scream “it is my 1st amendment rights…"

Is it not mine too as a law abiding citizen of this country?

Yet the law is telling me, "by law, you can no longer believe..."

I love being different from others.  I love learning from my friends and family who have differing beliefs and opinions.

I love learning from my students from all different nationalities, races, religions, family circumstances, and values.  

It is possible to love one another…that is a choice we ALL have.

I am a Christian.

I will continue to love others.

I will continue to believe in God and Jesus Christ. 

That will not change. 

Home in July

This past July, I spent a week in So Cal with my immediate and extended family.  We had a blast.  I went kayaking for the first time and learned how to fish. It was basically a 7 day eating marathon!  

Another Update!

I know what you're thinking..."another 6 months without an update," so I'm going to do an update or two a day just to bring this up to speed....

GW Women's Soccer...in my 2nd season here, we finished 7th in conference out of 13 teams and 7-6-5 overall.  We also qualified for the A10 tournament for the first time in 11years!  

I'm Alive and Kicking!

Life is good and it's been FOREVER since I have posted, and honestly there's too much to write about.  Loving it here, soaking it all in, keeping busy and staying out of trouble!  I included some picture collages of the last few months.  :) enjoy!  

Nats games have become a favorite outing!

This spring brought out cherry blossoms, end of year awards, lots and lots of soccer, visitors and my birthday!  

I helped my friend, Rob, propose to his fiancé (also my friend), Lindsey!

Every spring, we practice on the National Mall!

A few pics from our fall season!

I went to visit my friend in Boston in December.

I attended the Presidential Inauguration in January

Some random pics from this fall and winter around DC and with Michelle Akers, one of the best female soccer players in her generation!

The whole family at Disneyland!  

Newtown, CT--My Thoughts

Last Friday was tragic day for this nation and the community of Newtown, CT.  I don't need to relay the details, everyone has heard about it by now.  It's unfathomable.  Now all over the media there's the debate about gun control, they are blaming the violent acts of kids with autism.  Nancy Grace on Headline News obviously knows nothing about autism as she asked someone on her show how a kid could be autistic is he was taking college classes at 16 and earning a 3.3 GPA.  She obviously has not done her homework or ever spent time with someone who has autism. Autism is SO DIFFERENT within itself, within every kid, and every kid with autism responds in different ways.  You can't label a kid who walks into a school and shoots 20 children as being autistic and say "all autistic children are this way" because this is not true.  There are so many levels to autism that even the experts don't fully understand.  I've worked with kids who are autistic who do have fits, and they have kicked and hit me, or tried to bite me.  And I've worked with kids who are autistic who did not respond in this way.  It is different for each kid.

Here is my take on it all.  Putting guns in schools and allowing teachers to have guns at school is not going to stop things like this from happening.  Plus, look at inner-city schools...how many of those kids do you think carry weapons to school on a daily basis without anyone knowing for wanting to protect themselves and their friends or to take revenge on another?  Sure, something like this shouldn't happen in Newtown...it shouldn't happen ANYWHERE.  It shouldn't take a mass shooting to realize that we have a problem in the U.S.  Visit any part of an inner-city...and you should figure that out.  Taking guns away from people isn't going to help.  How many people own guns?  How will you stop them from buying more or prevent their guns from getting into the hands of their children?  My brother's ex-wife allows her 7, 6, and 4 year old to be around guns and bullets.  She takes them to gun ranges, she is teaching them that it is ok to use guns.  Her father owns a gun collection, like Adam Lanza's mother and prides himself in it and it is on display for all to see.  My brother and his ex-wife's son, who is a kindergartner runs around school acting like he is shooting people.  My brother and his teacher are working with him to stop him from doing that and telling him that it is not OK and it is not a joke.  I doubt his mother and her family are doing the same because to them, guns are OK.  I'm not going to lie, it scares me that my two nieces and nephew are raised part time in that environment.This is an example within one family of how people's values and perceptions are so different in this area that no one will ever see eye to eye.

What it comes down to is helping PEOPLE.  We need to help people.  And going to counseling yourself, or getting your child help whether it be for mental health issues, or developmental issues, or learning "disabilities" is OK.  There is help available and people need to buck up and use the resources without being ashamed that something might be wrong.  So what if there is?  Are you getting help? Or are you ignoring it so it only builds up and then gets worse to the point where one day someone has a complete breakdown?  Mass shootings isn't the only tragedy because of this pride...suicide, homicide, bullying, any kind of violence is a result of people not recognizing issues in themselves or children, or ignoring that there might be an issue and not getting help out of fear of how it will affect how others view them.  I respect anyone who recognizes they or a loved one has a problem and does all they can to get the help they need and use the resources available to them.  It may not completely solve the problem, but it will help decrease the problems we see.  I can't tell you how many times as a teacher with kids who struggled in school and may have had a learning disability whose parent said, "no we don't need those resources, he doesn't need help, he will be just fine.  We will do it ourselves."

I read a quote by Fred Rogers (yes, Mr. Rogers), "Part of the problem with the word disabilities is that it immediately suggests an inability to hear or walk or do other things that many of us take for granted.  But what of people who can't feel?  Or manage their feelings in constructive ways?  What of people who aren't able to form close and strong relationships?  And people who can not find fulfillment in their lives, or those who have lost hope, who live in disappointment and bitterness and find in life no joy, no love?  These, it seems to me, are the real disabilities."  I ask you today, what have you done for someone else today?  How have you tried to help someone who may be fighting a battle inside that you can not see?  How have you helped someone today who you know fights a battle that you can see?  When you walk by a stranger, do you smile and say hello or do you look down and act like they don't exist?  When you see someone drop their groceries, do you stop and help pick them up or walk by because you don't have time to take 10 seconds out of your day and pick up a few material items off the floor?  Did you ask the kid at school who sits by himself or herself every day at lunch if you can join him or her?  Or were you too afraid of what your peers might think of you if you are "seen" wit that person?  Because the problems we see in America lie within ourselves and our families.  Our foundation begins within our families.  How we teach our children to treat one another.  How we teach our children to view one another.  The values that we instill in our children and how we live by those values...and the values are simple:  integrity, honesty, love, service, respect, work ethic...the list goes on and on.  Unfortunately, society is teaching our children that we must do whatever is needed to survive, even if it means stepping on another to get ahead, lying and throwing someone under the bus to protect ourselves, and using a weapon to hurt another to get revenge.

We are the problem each and every one of us.  And we all need to change in one way or another.  And teach children the appropriate way to respond to negative emotion and to teach our children core values, and to teach our children that it is OK to ask for help.

A Moment Not to be Forgotten

There are days when you see or hear something that puts life in perspective and today was one of those days.  The picture is a little grainy because I took this with my phone as my plane was taxiing at the Atlanta airport this morning, but hopefully you can see what is happening in it.

What drew my attention to the scene was the ground crew practicing how to hold and raise the flags.   There was an American flag, a U.S. Marine Corp flag, a POW flag, and another one I did not recognize that I probably should know.  Then I saw the two pilots walk over and stand next to the ramp, and then a cart shaped as a casket with an American flag arrived.  The flagholders marched over as if they were or are in the military, raised the flags as the pilots went into a salute. As I watched this scene, it was hard not to get emotional.  Another person gave their life serving this country and most likely while trying to help another.  Gratitude comes to mind, for those who now serve and have served, whether they be alive or have passed on.  They don’t have to do what they do, it is a choice…and even if we may not agree with their reasons for joining the military, I’m grateful there are people willing to do so.  Gratitude for people like my dad, who did not serve in the military, but worked with the military to create and design systems to protect our troops and this country. 

Another emotion that struck me…sadness and empathy.  Someone today is mourning the loss of a loved one, most likely an unexpected loss.   Six years ago today, I, too, mourned the loss of a loved one, my dad, who passed away unexpectedly.   The memory  and feelings of that day are so vivid, like it was yesterday…a feeling that seems to go away with time, but around July 1 is always the strongest.  This afternoon, I will be the last one in my family to arrive in California so we can spend today and the rest of this week together as a family.  I am listening to my dad’s funeral on the plane, and something mentioned by those who spoke who are not members of our family, is how much my dad loved his family.  The best way we can honor and remember him is by being together.  So I am grateful that I have the opportunity to be with them today.   

Greece...and LIFE!

Alright, so....I'm a TOTAL slacker!!!!  Yes, I went to Greece....yes is was amazing....I had a blast.  It was great to experience something new once again with my mom.  I know not many have that opportunity so I definitely cherish it.  Because 16 days is way too long to write about, let me cover some highlights.

1.  The tour group:  what a great bunch of people.  My mom knew all but three or four and they ALL love her!

2.  Our hotel in Athens...come on, it was 5 star with a view of the Acropolis from the hotel restaurant, doesn't get much better than that!

3.  Olympia--we were there when they had the initial lighting of the olympic torch...so cool!

4.  Biblical locations...Patmos, Corinth, etc...

5.  Kalambaka/Meteora--we visited two monasteries that were located on top of these rock cliffs...absolutely incredible.  And if you ever go to one, don't accidently bump the candle holders....Olive Oil comes gushing out like it did on me when I tried to take my camera off from around my neck.  Luckily, a couple ladies in the group wiped off my neck with baby wipes, and I had an extra long sleeve shirt in my purse!

6.  Kusadasi--Ephesus...AMAZING.  And now I can say I went to Turkey!

7.  Greek Islands--totally looks like the movies and yes, the water is really as turquoise as it looks!

8.  Watching a little tiny tug boat pulling a HUGE cruise ship out of port....amazing the power those little boats have and how effective they are.

See pics below....between me and my mom, we took...A LOT of pictures, so these are snippets of the trip.  I'm working on our book (after every trip I take with my mom, I make a digital scrapbook for us...the trick for this one will be remembering EVERYTHING we saw and the history behind it!).




So LIFE....has been busy, but great.  I am loving DC, the east coast...its been a great experience so far.  Soccer season will start up again on August 1, so the staff at GW is keeping busy making preparations for pre-season as well as recruiting, and other little odds and ends that need to continually be taken care of.  I was able to go to a Washington Nationals game last Saturday and I loved it!  I completely forgot how much I enjoy MLB games!   So life is good, I can't complain, and just feeling really happy and really blessed.  :)

Went to the Nats vs. Yankees Game...Nats lost 5-3  :(

Gravelly Point...next to the Reagan Airport....LITERALLY!




Went to Longwood Gardens in PA with my roommate

LIFE IS GOOD!!!!!!

A Little Perspective...

Overall, things are going really well.  I'm still loving my new job.  GW is a great place to be and there are such good people who I get to interact with everyday.  I'm learning a ton and I can already see some growth in myself as a person and coach....though I still have a long way to go!!!!  

Though things are going well overall, there has been a struggle the last few weeks.  A good friend of mine decided that it was time for us to go our separate ways...I am not exactly sure what I had done to cause her to feel the way she did, and I fear there were some uncontrollable outside factors that also added to the situation and didn't help it at all, both that I am aware of and others that I am unaware of.  However, it always makes you wonder what could've been done differently, how could I have been better, what if I had known that I wasn't being a good friend to this person, could I have changed the outcome?  But at the same time I look back and feel as though I did all I could to try and salvage a friendship that was clearly slipping away and had been on that road for awhile.  Another good friend of mine put things in perspective for me a couple days ago.  I was telling him that I was really struggling with what happened and I wanted to know how I could've possibly avoided this outcome, and his advice was this:

It is something you may never know and overtime the healing will come.  It is important to focus on what is important and in front of us now, and make sure that each day we are living our lives to make the lives of those around us better than they are or were.  

I think that is good advice...and hopefully time will heal.  It is never easy to lose a friend in any circumstance, especially in ones like this.  But I also find myself reflecting back on some really good memories from that friendship and will be forever grateful I had it in my life for a short time.  But it is time to move forward and hope that in time, things will work themselves out.  

THE MALL!!!

A couple weeks ago, our team asked if we could have practice at the National Mall. We told the girls that they had to scope out a decent grassy area and we would go down there. We met on our main campus, walked down to the Mall (passing a few monuments on the way! :) The girls played 6v6 with an amazing view of the Jefferson Memorial, Washington Monument and the White House, and then they went peddle boating in the Tidal Basin for conditioning! It was a really cool morning! My birthday was the day before this, so I sorta felt like that whole weekend was a celebration. My boss got a couple coaches to join us for a birthday dinner, then we practiced at the Mall the next day, and then I left to go to San Diego to recruit and I spent a minimal amount of time with my family, which was a perk to the trip! I got stuck in Dallas on the way home due to several tornados that had , but I was able to spend the night with my friend Kass, and her husband David...and luckily got a flight out the next day. On Easter morning, I took a recruit to the aiport at 5:45am, and then I stopped by the U.S. Marine Corp Memorial on my way home and took some great pictures of the sunrise over the city! It was just an amazing week!



This past weekend, my oldest brother, Kevin, came into town for a conference for the American Pediatrics Association...or some organization like that. On his last night here, we decided to get some take out from Chipotle and have dinner at the Mall. We parked near the Lincoln Memorial, walked down and ate dinner right in front, with a view of the Washington Monument and the Capitol. Then we walked to the Jefferson Memorial, around the tidal basin to the Washington Monument and WWII Memorial. We drove over to the U.S. Marine Corp memorial...probably my favorite next to the Lincoln and then headed home. It was a really cool way to spend some time with my brother. :) The monuments at night are AMAZING. See pics below!!!!