Rock N' Roll Goes To Hollywood

Unavoidably and to our amusement, arts get mingled at times. Hence, actors may sometimes come to be underutilized musical talents (e.g. Johnny Depp playing with Manson) or even ridiculously lost causes (e.g. Keanu Reeves with Dogstar [?]). On the other hand, many of our beloved musicians have appeared in cameo roles through the years. While very few left history (i.e. Spinal Tap), others where forgotten or even overlooked altogether. Here is an overview of some of the cameo appearances I found quite amusing (the list is not extensive). Some are well-known, others are not, and a few of these left me with that "what the hell" expression for days...

The Darwin Awards feat. Metallica
Two guys who are desperate to get into a Metallica gig do the classic "over the fence" move - just not so successfully! Headbanging while smoking a joint while hanging from a tree is not advisable. Priceless: Lars advising on drugs and Hetfield attempting to joke!

Despite this film, Lars also appeared in the mediocre "Get him to the Greek" with an equally mediocre very brief performance!

Monsterdog feat. Alice Cooper
We know Alice is an avid horror film fan, hence his graphic live shows. Known and unknown roles in movies include "The prince of darkness", "The attic expeditions" and "Freddy's Dead: The final nightmare", in the latter as Freddy's dad. The most famous though, it's his educational speech about Milwaukee in "Wayne's world". But my favourite must be "Monsterdog" where Alice plays a pop star cum lycanthrope or werewolf if you wish. Priceless: Alice pulling off the leather pants look since forever!

XXX feat. Rammstein
Well, not exactly what you call an acting cameo appearance, nonetheless Rammstein perform in this movie the way they know best. Priceless: Budgeting Rammstein's pyro show in the production costs!

Tenacious D: Pick of Destiny feat. Ronnie James Dio
If you have yet to watch this legend of a movie I suggest you go have a brain scan. I don't know what is funnier in this movie: Meatloaf playing a conservative religious father, Jack Black's scarily identical young self, or Dave Grohl as kinky Satan. Dio's certainly not funny at all as he manages to take a silly song and turn it into an anthem!

Eat the Rich feat. the one and only Lemmy
Lemmy stole the show in many movies by just being present! Cameo appearances include "Charlie's death wish", "Airheads", "Frezno smooth", "Terror firmer" "Citizen toxie: The toxic avenger", "The curse of El Charro"... I could go on for a while. Truth is, Lemmy has no real talent in acting, obviously! But there is something about this movie. Priceless: The saxophone guys who took their roles way too seriously, considering!

Detroit Rock City feat. KISS
Who can forget this surprisingly good movie produced by Gene Simmons himself? Priceless: "Knights in Satan's Service"!

Married with Children feat. Anthrax
Quite shy within the movie world Anthrax only appeared briefly in the movie "Calendar girls" [believe it or not!]. Scott Ian also portrayed a quite convincing zombie in "The walking dead" TV series. But what can top the band's cameo appearance in "Married with children"? Priceless: Scott without a beard and Belladonna's non-aging face! Seriously, what's wrong with that guy?

Little Nicky feat. Ozzy
I wouldn't expect to ever say this but I honestly think Ozzy's got talent in acting! From his appearance in "The American way",  "The jerky boys", or his amazing performance as a reverend (no, you are not hallucinating) in "Trick or treat"....advocating against rock pornography! My own personal favourite though has to be his role in "Little Nicky" purely because I can't believe how awful that movie was and how much better Ozzy made it. Priceless: The bat incident taken to a whole new level!

Pirates of the Caribbean feat. Keith Richards 
"Does this face look like it's been to the fountain of youth?" Need I say more?

                                                                                                                                                                                            
Image credits:
http://screenrant.com/

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Aging Bodies, Aging Minds, Aging Bands

The inspiration for this piece of writing comes from a brief twitter chat I had with a dear “under-web ally” of mine (i.e. an online yet still underground co-defender of the Rock) @RockCyprus. Chatting about the recent Download 2013 line-up announcements, our conversation went something like this:

@Tzellofouska Rammstein & Maiden in one go? Surely, you don't wanna miss that! 

@RockCyprus It's been Maiden and Metallica from the 1st row in the last 2 years. Hard to beat that I'll have to have a break ;) [plus the prized possession of Kirk Hammett's guitar pick! ;)]

@Tzellofouska Metallica...Second most disappointing live band after Megadeth. And am a keen thrasher; just 20 yrs too late [ 90s vs 00s.... The price to pay for my age!]

@RockCyprus It's a big discussion, but surely Hetfield or Araya can never be 20 and alcoholics ever again ;) :D

And it went on for a few more tweets. Now, just to clarify, my aim is not to get into a discussion about disappointing live shows from [previously great yet still legendary] bands. I will only pose a few of my contemplations in the hope of initiating a healthy exchange of opinions.  

It all started with me seeing Metallica live for the first time. Then it happened again when I saw what Axl calls Guns N’ Roses nowadays. And it all happened for the third time when I saw Megadeth at this year’s Download. What a disappointment it was, I cannot emphasize enough! Performance-, passion-, stage presence-wise, you name it. 

At the time, I used to say to myself and others equally disappointed as me, that you wouldn’t expect these bands to perform to the same level as 20 years ago for example. It is of course a valid point. Or perhaps a good rationalisation of why I spent £60 on a gig that hasn’t changed me in the least. Because, you see, I only appreciate gigs that change my life, even a tiny bit at a time. I shall elaborate... 

Every band or artist has what I call a pre-defined persona. Meaning, they are known for specific elements of their live shows. Take Rammstein, for example, known for their extreme pyro shows complemented by heavy German rumblings [which I love by the way!]; or Iron Maiden with Eddie and an over-enthusiastic Mr. Dickinson; or Motörhead with their deafening decibels and a Lemmy; or even Kiss with their outdated yet oh-so-entertaining outfits; or Black Sabbath with a playful Ozzy and a quiet Iommi that communicates through the riffs. ALL bands have their pre-defined persona; from the time of their conception to today.

Now, when I go to a live show, I expect to see, feel, and experience that persona. I am easily satisfied though. Just having the opportunity to see legendary bands is an excitement on its own, considering most are at the end of the “road”. I surely don’t expect to see the SAME level of energy and passion as I see in videos of their earlier shows. Or should I?

Having been to so many gigs in the past decade alone means that I saw many of these “dinosaur” bands as people call them but not in their prime years. From this experience alone I realised that while there might be an expiration date on creativity for making good albums, passion is meant to stay put. Aging is not an excuse for a bad live for me anymore. 

If you can’t support that pre-defined persona of the band with the same level of passion anymore, just don’t bother touring; because then it shows that you are doing it purely for the cash. I’m sure Alice Cooper will retire once he’s not able to hold that boa on stage anymore. There were a few gigs that made an impact and changed me the way I wanted; Black Sabbath, Heaven & Hell, Anthrax, Motörhead, Judas Priest, AC/DC, Kiss, Rammstein, and even the remaining of The Who! One can see that age is not the point here; some of these guys get a social security check at the end of each month! 

I would love, and I’m sure I’ll have more opportunities, to see Metallica or Megadeth again so that I prove myself wrong. But in the meantime, yawning at a gig, where one of your favourites is performing, is not a very good sign. Either love what you do or quit while you can. Performing is just another job you have to enjoy doing in order to survive in this business. I will repeat: there is no such thing as aging bodies; just aging minds.

You may follow @RockCyprus  on twitter for updates on upcoming shows in Cyprus. Otherwise, just follow him anyway because he's got some great tweets!

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Image Credit:

http://www.last.fm/

http://www.collapseboard.com/

http://tzellofouska.blogspot.co.uk/

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