Monday, April 27, 2009
Friday, April 24, 2009
And Because I Just Can't Stop Blogging
(What is my problem today!!!)
This is my new favorite thing ever.
h/t Et Tu Jen
This is my new favorite thing ever.
h/t Et Tu Jen
Update on My Cat for those who care deeply
I took her to a different vet last night. They saw me the day I called and were very professional and helpful. They ruled out, pretty conclusively, the idea of a blood clot, and then I did spring for an XRay which came up normal (thank heaven) and some blood work, about which I will find out tomorrow. This vet suspects diabetes or some such something. Anyway, I spent a bundle but not the moon and came home a lot more cheerful. ALSO, she's really not in pain. She doesn't feel well, but she doesn't hurt which makes us all feel Much Happier.
And for clarification, this is my big white kitty (Siamese/calico I found out last night) and not the kitty who was lost and found. I really need to go take a picture of her. She has beautiful blue eyes and she's enormously fat.
And for clarification, this is my big white kitty (Siamese/calico I found out last night) and not the kitty who was lost and found. I really need to go take a picture of her. She has beautiful blue eyes and she's enormously fat.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Weekend in Review (many days late)
So, I think I had the flu. For a few days I thought it was the worse pregnancy ever (well, it still is that) but turns out I was actually sick. Couldn't even barely stand up. Wept piteously over my cat who has been lying in my closet looking at me with disdain as I keep trying to shove medicine down her throat. She's really not better at all. Think I'm going to try for a second opinion.
Anyway, I had Fully Intended to blog on Sunday evening as we had the most exciting weekend on record for some time.
First of all, on Saturday, we had two funerals. Its moments like this that we're delighted to live only ten steps from the church.
Saturday Evening, Elphine, Alouiscious, a very charming friend and I all went to the Symphony to hear Bram's Requiem.
Here are some of us all dressed up.
It particularly fitting to listen to this Requiem after two funerals. The music was wonderful, and I carefully followed the translation in my booklet and found Bram's exposition of the scriptures to be both moving and comforting. Unfortunately, we were in the very front row and so while the sound was Amazing, Elphine and Alouicious couldn't see barely anything. However, they were golden and quiet and only whispered very loudly a couple of times.
Saturday we celebrated Alouicious' birthday again along with his very good friend who also turned five this week.
An excellent time was had by all, and when the party was over at church, the Real fun began here at home, where several friends came over to play in the back yard. Funnily enough, as all the adults were sitting around catching up, we noticed a young man come out the back door of the church. Matt, without saying a word to anyone, leaped out of his seat, flew through the back door, jumped over the fence, and chased the young man back through the church, into the church parking lot (which was hidden from us and so we found all this out later), down the street to the river, back up onto the main road, where, with the help of two sensible quick thinking men from the church (one of whom helpfully had a motorcycle) apprehended the young man in someone's front yard. The police were called and arrived within minutes and promptly arrested the gentlemen (which is rather too nice a word) who had several outstanding warrants.
Matt walked back home and sat back down in his chair, slightly more rumpled, and resumed his glass of wine. We realized that he had removed his collar but was still wearing his jacket and black clericals and so the young man might not have known he was a minister but might possibly thought he was someone involved with law enforcement, heh. Turns out Matt had seen the young man Saturday evening, while we were at the Symphony, standing in our back yard gazing into someone else's house (a young woman, in fact, with whom he was already emotionally entangled and whom he had been calling obsessively). Matt chased him off then, but when he came back to do it again on Sunday afternoon, it was enough. We've so very grateful he was caught and this young woman will have a break from him. He begged and begged to be let go before the police arrived, but Matt and the other men said that wouldn't be possible, though they would certainly visit him in prison and hopefully minister to his many needs and problems.
Further excitement was had when a police officer came into our back yard to scope out the route and make contact with the young woman. It was certainly one of the Best Birthdays ever, themed and everything (Cops and Robbers or Police Officer Arrives at the Scene) and all the little boys especially were totally thrilled. Elphine now has a list of rules for her room pasted to her wall, number thirteen of which reads 'No Criminals Allowed in my Room'.
Anyway, I had Fully Intended to blog on Sunday evening as we had the most exciting weekend on record for some time.
First of all, on Saturday, we had two funerals. Its moments like this that we're delighted to live only ten steps from the church.
Saturday Evening, Elphine, Alouiscious, a very charming friend and I all went to the Symphony to hear Bram's Requiem.
Here are some of us all dressed up.
It particularly fitting to listen to this Requiem after two funerals. The music was wonderful, and I carefully followed the translation in my booklet and found Bram's exposition of the scriptures to be both moving and comforting. Unfortunately, we were in the very front row and so while the sound was Amazing, Elphine and Alouicious couldn't see barely anything. However, they were golden and quiet and only whispered very loudly a couple of times.
Saturday we celebrated Alouicious' birthday again along with his very good friend who also turned five this week.
An excellent time was had by all, and when the party was over at church, the Real fun began here at home, where several friends came over to play in the back yard. Funnily enough, as all the adults were sitting around catching up, we noticed a young man come out the back door of the church. Matt, without saying a word to anyone, leaped out of his seat, flew through the back door, jumped over the fence, and chased the young man back through the church, into the church parking lot (which was hidden from us and so we found all this out later), down the street to the river, back up onto the main road, where, with the help of two sensible quick thinking men from the church (one of whom helpfully had a motorcycle) apprehended the young man in someone's front yard. The police were called and arrived within minutes and promptly arrested the gentlemen (which is rather too nice a word) who had several outstanding warrants.
Matt walked back home and sat back down in his chair, slightly more rumpled, and resumed his glass of wine. We realized that he had removed his collar but was still wearing his jacket and black clericals and so the young man might not have known he was a minister but might possibly thought he was someone involved with law enforcement, heh. Turns out Matt had seen the young man Saturday evening, while we were at the Symphony, standing in our back yard gazing into someone else's house (a young woman, in fact, with whom he was already emotionally entangled and whom he had been calling obsessively). Matt chased him off then, but when he came back to do it again on Sunday afternoon, it was enough. We've so very grateful he was caught and this young woman will have a break from him. He begged and begged to be let go before the police arrived, but Matt and the other men said that wouldn't be possible, though they would certainly visit him in prison and hopefully minister to his many needs and problems.
Further excitement was had when a police officer came into our back yard to scope out the route and make contact with the young woman. It was certainly one of the Best Birthdays ever, themed and everything (Cops and Robbers or Police Officer Arrives at the Scene) and all the little boys especially were totally thrilled. Elphine now has a list of rules for her room pasted to her wall, number thirteen of which reads 'No Criminals Allowed in my Room'.
Friday, April 17, 2009
Everybody Else is Blogging
What is it about Fridays an blogging?
I've been up for hours, hours and hours. Gladys waddled her chubby legs into my bed with her large bottle, pressed her enormous head into my neck and proceeded to beat on me like one of those new fangled cage fights where everything goes and you have to tap out when you've had enough. Couldn't move because I had another child pressed squarely into my back, one on top of my feet, and a large cat sitting on my chest. Matt looked on in wonder and amazement and finally asked if I'd like some hot chocolate before he went to Bible Study (can you believe that I looked at the clock at 3:45am and then looked at his pillow and realized he was already up for the day-crazy). I persuaded them all to go watch Between the Lions while I vaguely read the Bible for ten minutes and then, in a fit of wickedness, abandoned it for an old battered copy of Anne of Green Gables. Finally got up and made everybody pancakes. Its only 9 in the morning, but Elphine has unloaded the dishwasher, she and Alouiscious have cleaned their rooms, everybody is dressed except for me, and they're all gazing at me expectantly, like I haven't done enough for them. I guess I will go clothe my increasingly hippo like body and take them all to the grocery store. By then I'll need a nap. And after that, if I can bear it, I'm going to move all the school stuff into the sun room and try to make a beautiful school space. Or whatever. Maybe I'll sunbathe on the lawn next to the church. Its that warm out.
I've been up for hours, hours and hours. Gladys waddled her chubby legs into my bed with her large bottle, pressed her enormous head into my neck and proceeded to beat on me like one of those new fangled cage fights where everything goes and you have to tap out when you've had enough. Couldn't move because I had another child pressed squarely into my back, one on top of my feet, and a large cat sitting on my chest. Matt looked on in wonder and amazement and finally asked if I'd like some hot chocolate before he went to Bible Study (can you believe that I looked at the clock at 3:45am and then looked at his pillow and realized he was already up for the day-crazy). I persuaded them all to go watch Between the Lions while I vaguely read the Bible for ten minutes and then, in a fit of wickedness, abandoned it for an old battered copy of Anne of Green Gables. Finally got up and made everybody pancakes. Its only 9 in the morning, but Elphine has unloaded the dishwasher, she and Alouiscious have cleaned their rooms, everybody is dressed except for me, and they're all gazing at me expectantly, like I haven't done enough for them. I guess I will go clothe my increasingly hippo like body and take them all to the grocery store. By then I'll need a nap. And after that, if I can bear it, I'm going to move all the school stuff into the sun room and try to make a beautiful school space. Or whatever. Maybe I'll sunbathe on the lawn next to the church. Its that warm out.
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Would you like some tea with that?
I REALLY wanted to go. I so wanted to go. It is so disappointing to me that I couldn't, but my friends went, and had a marvelous time.
That's right, I have friends
About 300 turned out, from what I hear, and an excellent time was had by all. I, on the other hand, made various suppers, soothed the stormy masses and laid them gently to bed, listened with rapt and adoring attention to my brilliant husband, scrubbed my kitchen floor by hand, and took my prenatal vitimin so that this next baby will be really strong and smart and able to withstand the crazy politics of his (maybe her) day. In short, I upheld the conservative ideal in my own home. And on that note, I'm now going to go bake some bread and plant a garden (just kidding).
That's right, I have friends
About 300 turned out, from what I hear, and an excellent time was had by all. I, on the other hand, made various suppers, soothed the stormy masses and laid them gently to bed, listened with rapt and adoring attention to my brilliant husband, scrubbed my kitchen floor by hand, and took my prenatal vitimin so that this next baby will be really strong and smart and able to withstand the crazy politics of his (maybe her) day. In short, I upheld the conservative ideal in my own home. And on that note, I'm now going to go bake some bread and plant a garden (just kidding).
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Happy Birthday Alouiscious!
He's Five Years Old Today!
At his own request, I'll be making Crepes tonight and probably we'll buy a fancy cake, and some other stuff. And then later, probably Sunday, we'll have a real proper party with hats and games.
At his own request, I'll be making Crepes tonight and probably we'll buy a fancy cake, and some other stuff. And then later, probably Sunday, we'll have a real proper party with hats and games.
Saturday, April 11, 2009
The sermon I'll be preaching in three hours
As you know, we’ve recently been through a big move.
Most of the things from the church continue to be in storage,
as you would know if you were here on Good Friday
as we cast about for something black to wear—
all in storage—
come back next year and we’ll be wearing the right colors on the right days. And most of our household items are in storage,
which has been wonderful on the toy front,
and irritating when we remember that we have a jolly good blender
and the one I can find is not that one.
This has led me to complaining and sorrow.
I keep looking backward.
I’ve especially been thinking about the sunlight in our old house,
how it would flood in through the living room windows,
so bright and warm.
As I wrestle with my errant cat who isn’t using his kitty box as he should, and trying to tie up the curtains in my new living room to get some light, my mind’s eye casts back to the sun in that room,
and I find grief over take me like a wave.
So all week long,
beginning with my own husband saying wisely to me on Monday,
‘you must learn to be satisfied with this house,
you must exert yourself to be satisfied’,
and then on Wednesday as we read about the exile from Jerusalem, everybody having to go,
having to leave everything and go somewhere they didn’t choose to go,
but God provided for them,
and brought them back,
and gave them everything they needed,
to Thursday as we sang together Psalm 78
which hit me fairly like a spiritual brick of conviction.
17 But they went on sinning against him, *
rebelling in the desert against the Most High.
18 They tested God in their hearts, *
demanding food for their craving.
19 They railed against God and said, *
"Can God set a table in the wilderness?
20 True, he struck the rock, the waters gushed out, and the gullies overflowed; *
but is he able to give bread or to provide meat for his people?"
23 So he commanded the clouds above *
and opened the doors of heaven.
24 He rained down manna upon them to eat *
and gave them grain from heaven.
25 So mortals ate the bread of angels; *
he provided for them food enough.
They kept looking back.
They’d left slavery, for heaven’s sake,
and in the most miraculous and amazing way
God led them out in front of their enemies.
They pillaged their enemies.
All the people of Egypt gave them their gold and silver
as they ran away.
Their sandals and clothes didn’t wear out
the whole time they journeyed through the wilderness.
But still, they were in the wilderness,
they weren’t yet in the promised land,
and it was there that they sinned against God,
they were rebellious and ungrateful.
And so most all of them died.
The problem with the Exodus,
and with the whole Old Testament in general,
is that the people that God pushed through the red sea
and through the desert
and into the promised land,
whether they wanted to go there or not,
is that they had heard of the promise of God,
they knew something Good was coming,
but they never saw it.
Their hearts were still,
for the most part,
stone cold.
They saw God’s work with their eyes
but they did not perceive it,
they did not understand it.
They heard it with their ears but not with their hearts.
Those that hoped in the promise to come,
who sought after God with their hearts and minds
were few and far between.
They had real vision,
they saw into the future in hope
and knew that God was going to do something.
I always like to think I’d be that one person
with amazing foresight and faith,
like Hannah, or Esther,
or probably Isaiah’s mother.
But I discovered in the simple process of moving
from one end of Conklin Ave to the other,
that I’m really like the Israelites in the Wilderness—
not Moses and Caleb and Joshua—
all the other ones who don’t get their names mentioned
because they died before they reached the promised land.
Nearsighted vision,
short short memory,
low grade hearing,
dismal faith.
But all the time God was preparing for me,
for all of us deaf, blind, hardhearted, dead hearted complainers.
Turn, if you like, to Ezekiel 36, beginning in verse 24.
I will take you from the nations and gather you from all the countries
and bring you into your own land.
All you with dusty feet and weary hearts,
wearied by the changes and chances of this life,
by the messiness of life that doesn’t order itself perfectly,
where problems are constantly rearing their irritating heads,
and there is either too much stuff or not enough.
God himself will take you, me,
from where ever we are,
he will gather us all up
and bring us into his own land.
He will sprinkle clean water on us.
We shall finally be clean from ungratefulness,
from looking backward,
from idols,
from clinging to things that don’t matter.
He will cleanse us and we shall be clean.
And he will give us a new heart.
The stone of a heart that we each have,
he will take from us and give us a soft heart,
a heart that can feel and see and hear
and understand who God is,
a heart that can be merciful and gracious,
even as God is gracious and merciful.
And he will cause you, me,
us to obey his rules,
to walk in his way.
He will cause us,
he will give us the great gift of gratitude
and contentment,
and forgiveness.
And in this new place,
this new life,
this clean new heart,
then we will dwell in the land
that God has prepared for us.
We will be his people,
and he will be our God.
I’m talking like this is all going to happen in the future.
Like we are still waiting around with Ezekiel, and Abraham and Moses, knowing what God is going to do,
waiting for him to do it.
Maybe some of you here tonight are still waiting for God to do something—knowing that he can,
but not being able to see and hear with your heart and mind
where he is
and what he is doing.
Its dark here tonight,
as we count away the minutes to the first day of the week.
That moment when the dawn rises
as the dark is giving way to light,
and the women,
stumbling forward in a wilderness of grief and exhaustion
from seeing their Lord die,
thinking that the hope for which they had hoped,
the promise they thought had come,
the messiah who was supposed to do for them
what was promised over and over again for thousands of years,
promised but never seen,
the women come to the tomb,
to the place of the dead.
And find that the waiting is over.
The waiting is over.
God did what he promised he was going to do.
He accomplished the salvation of all who believe and trust in him.
He came to do for us what we could not do ourselves—
to give us a heart that can feel,
eyes that can see,
ears that can hear,
and a place to dwell,
and place where all things come together,
a place where we are gathered together in beauty and peace.
Go ahead, look around.
That place is here.
That place is Jesus himself.
He is the place,
the hope,
the promise,
And as long as we dwell in him,
as long as we keep our eyes fixed on him,
as long as we walk in his way
and are his people
and he is our God,
well,
then
we are very well indeed.
We dwell even now in the land that was promised.
Certainly,
as we go out from here into the dark,
into a town asleep to this Great Thing that has happened,
and stumble into our dark houses,
and back into the mess of life,
we might be confused into thinking that we are still waiting,
that maybe it was all a dream,
or that maybe it happened so long ago it doesn’t matter any more.
But our real heart of flesh puts those ridiculous thoughts to rest.
The Holy Spirit breathing and living in us will not let us remain blind
to the truth that Jesus died,
that he Rose again,
that he is even now alive,
living with us,
dwelling with us,
making us to be his people.
Most of the things from the church continue to be in storage,
as you would know if you were here on Good Friday
as we cast about for something black to wear—
all in storage—
come back next year and we’ll be wearing the right colors on the right days. And most of our household items are in storage,
which has been wonderful on the toy front,
and irritating when we remember that we have a jolly good blender
and the one I can find is not that one.
This has led me to complaining and sorrow.
I keep looking backward.
I’ve especially been thinking about the sunlight in our old house,
how it would flood in through the living room windows,
so bright and warm.
As I wrestle with my errant cat who isn’t using his kitty box as he should, and trying to tie up the curtains in my new living room to get some light, my mind’s eye casts back to the sun in that room,
and I find grief over take me like a wave.
So all week long,
beginning with my own husband saying wisely to me on Monday,
‘you must learn to be satisfied with this house,
you must exert yourself to be satisfied’,
and then on Wednesday as we read about the exile from Jerusalem, everybody having to go,
having to leave everything and go somewhere they didn’t choose to go,
but God provided for them,
and brought them back,
and gave them everything they needed,
to Thursday as we sang together Psalm 78
which hit me fairly like a spiritual brick of conviction.
17 But they went on sinning against him, *
rebelling in the desert against the Most High.
18 They tested God in their hearts, *
demanding food for their craving.
19 They railed against God and said, *
"Can God set a table in the wilderness?
20 True, he struck the rock, the waters gushed out, and the gullies overflowed; *
but is he able to give bread or to provide meat for his people?"
23 So he commanded the clouds above *
and opened the doors of heaven.
24 He rained down manna upon them to eat *
and gave them grain from heaven.
25 So mortals ate the bread of angels; *
he provided for them food enough.
They kept looking back.
They’d left slavery, for heaven’s sake,
and in the most miraculous and amazing way
God led them out in front of their enemies.
They pillaged their enemies.
All the people of Egypt gave them their gold and silver
as they ran away.
Their sandals and clothes didn’t wear out
the whole time they journeyed through the wilderness.
But still, they were in the wilderness,
they weren’t yet in the promised land,
and it was there that they sinned against God,
they were rebellious and ungrateful.
And so most all of them died.
The problem with the Exodus,
and with the whole Old Testament in general,
is that the people that God pushed through the red sea
and through the desert
and into the promised land,
whether they wanted to go there or not,
is that they had heard of the promise of God,
they knew something Good was coming,
but they never saw it.
Their hearts were still,
for the most part,
stone cold.
They saw God’s work with their eyes
but they did not perceive it,
they did not understand it.
They heard it with their ears but not with their hearts.
Those that hoped in the promise to come,
who sought after God with their hearts and minds
were few and far between.
They had real vision,
they saw into the future in hope
and knew that God was going to do something.
I always like to think I’d be that one person
with amazing foresight and faith,
like Hannah, or Esther,
or probably Isaiah’s mother.
But I discovered in the simple process of moving
from one end of Conklin Ave to the other,
that I’m really like the Israelites in the Wilderness—
not Moses and Caleb and Joshua—
all the other ones who don’t get their names mentioned
because they died before they reached the promised land.
Nearsighted vision,
short short memory,
low grade hearing,
dismal faith.
But all the time God was preparing for me,
for all of us deaf, blind, hardhearted, dead hearted complainers.
Turn, if you like, to Ezekiel 36, beginning in verse 24.
I will take you from the nations and gather you from all the countries
and bring you into your own land.
All you with dusty feet and weary hearts,
wearied by the changes and chances of this life,
by the messiness of life that doesn’t order itself perfectly,
where problems are constantly rearing their irritating heads,
and there is either too much stuff or not enough.
God himself will take you, me,
from where ever we are,
he will gather us all up
and bring us into his own land.
He will sprinkle clean water on us.
We shall finally be clean from ungratefulness,
from looking backward,
from idols,
from clinging to things that don’t matter.
He will cleanse us and we shall be clean.
And he will give us a new heart.
The stone of a heart that we each have,
he will take from us and give us a soft heart,
a heart that can feel and see and hear
and understand who God is,
a heart that can be merciful and gracious,
even as God is gracious and merciful.
And he will cause you, me,
us to obey his rules,
to walk in his way.
He will cause us,
he will give us the great gift of gratitude
and contentment,
and forgiveness.
And in this new place,
this new life,
this clean new heart,
then we will dwell in the land
that God has prepared for us.
We will be his people,
and he will be our God.
I’m talking like this is all going to happen in the future.
Like we are still waiting around with Ezekiel, and Abraham and Moses, knowing what God is going to do,
waiting for him to do it.
Maybe some of you here tonight are still waiting for God to do something—knowing that he can,
but not being able to see and hear with your heart and mind
where he is
and what he is doing.
Its dark here tonight,
as we count away the minutes to the first day of the week.
That moment when the dawn rises
as the dark is giving way to light,
and the women,
stumbling forward in a wilderness of grief and exhaustion
from seeing their Lord die,
thinking that the hope for which they had hoped,
the promise they thought had come,
the messiah who was supposed to do for them
what was promised over and over again for thousands of years,
promised but never seen,
the women come to the tomb,
to the place of the dead.
And find that the waiting is over.
The waiting is over.
God did what he promised he was going to do.
He accomplished the salvation of all who believe and trust in him.
He came to do for us what we could not do ourselves—
to give us a heart that can feel,
eyes that can see,
ears that can hear,
and a place to dwell,
and place where all things come together,
a place where we are gathered together in beauty and peace.
Go ahead, look around.
That place is here.
That place is Jesus himself.
He is the place,
the hope,
the promise,
And as long as we dwell in him,
as long as we keep our eyes fixed on him,
as long as we walk in his way
and are his people
and he is our God,
well,
then
we are very well indeed.
We dwell even now in the land that was promised.
Certainly,
as we go out from here into the dark,
into a town asleep to this Great Thing that has happened,
and stumble into our dark houses,
and back into the mess of life,
we might be confused into thinking that we are still waiting,
that maybe it was all a dream,
or that maybe it happened so long ago it doesn’t matter any more.
But our real heart of flesh puts those ridiculous thoughts to rest.
The Holy Spirit breathing and living in us will not let us remain blind
to the truth that Jesus died,
that he Rose again,
that he is even now alive,
living with us,
dwelling with us,
making us to be his people.
Friday, April 10, 2009
Thursday, April 09, 2009
Maundy Thursday
The Easter clothes have arrived. Due to the great and extravagant generosity of Mimi, who knows a pretty dress when she sees one, my two little girls are twirling and dancing in their long twirly skirts. 'Eeeechaaaappeee' Elphine is singing as she twirls.
And I'm remarkably nauseated. I went to great lengths to go to the pharmacy yesterday to pick up a prescription for anti nausea pills graciously prescribed by my doctor, only to find that they made me very sick indeed. Fortunately, some other wonderful person is coming to watch the children this morning, so I will be able to sit here Very Quietly, not moving, not jostling, not, hopefully, throwing up, and working on some bulletins. Needless to say, I'm not even remotely considering cooking anything for the potluck tonight.
Most especially, on this beautiful sunny Thursday whereby we remember the new command of our Lord, that we love one another, I commend to your prayers one who has gone to be with that same Lord, last night, and who leaves behind a husband full of grief and sorrow. Her low and beautifully perfect alto voice in the choir I will always miss.
And I'm remarkably nauseated. I went to great lengths to go to the pharmacy yesterday to pick up a prescription for anti nausea pills graciously prescribed by my doctor, only to find that they made me very sick indeed. Fortunately, some other wonderful person is coming to watch the children this morning, so I will be able to sit here Very Quietly, not moving, not jostling, not, hopefully, throwing up, and working on some bulletins. Needless to say, I'm not even remotely considering cooking anything for the potluck tonight.
Most especially, on this beautiful sunny Thursday whereby we remember the new command of our Lord, that we love one another, I commend to your prayers one who has gone to be with that same Lord, last night, and who leaves behind a husband full of grief and sorrow. Her low and beautifully perfect alto voice in the choir I will always miss.
Tuesday, April 07, 2009
Holy Week
The most important thing I have to do today is run my quarterly report over to the district which I was unable to do on Friday due to the shooting down town. I need to tie something around my finger, I think, because it keeps slipping out of my mind like an errant and forgettable marble.
But then, I have so many things to do I don't know which direction would be most efficacious. So I'm blogging. There are four sermons for the week total, four bulletins, five liturgies to work out in a new space, acolytes to call and encourage, Easter eggs to dye, an enormous pile of laundry to fold, and in the dimly lit recesses of my mind, I thought we might try to do some school. 'It won't be that busy' I said to myself last week. Hmm. Now I'm thinking that the children need some fantastical and wonderful project they can do independently every day while I grind out bulletins and maybe pitch in with a sermon.
Last year I seem to remember making a fabulous Indian Lentil dish last year for Maundy Thursday. This year maybe I'll boil a couple of potatoes and eat them by myself with nothing on them. Did you all know that there's a potluck this Thursday before the service? I didn't think so. So let me be one of the first to tell you that there's a potluck at 5:30 this Thursday before the service and I hope to see ou all there, even those of you who live no where near Binghamton.
Now I think I will vaguely wander off and consider which of all these things to do first.
May God make you more holy this week, and may you all be obedient to his suffering and go to church as often as you are able.
But then, I have so many things to do I don't know which direction would be most efficacious. So I'm blogging. There are four sermons for the week total, four bulletins, five liturgies to work out in a new space, acolytes to call and encourage, Easter eggs to dye, an enormous pile of laundry to fold, and in the dimly lit recesses of my mind, I thought we might try to do some school. 'It won't be that busy' I said to myself last week. Hmm. Now I'm thinking that the children need some fantastical and wonderful project they can do independently every day while I grind out bulletins and maybe pitch in with a sermon.
Last year I seem to remember making a fabulous Indian Lentil dish last year for Maundy Thursday. This year maybe I'll boil a couple of potatoes and eat them by myself with nothing on them. Did you all know that there's a potluck this Thursday before the service? I didn't think so. So let me be one of the first to tell you that there's a potluck at 5:30 this Thursday before the service and I hope to see ou all there, even those of you who live no where near Binghamton.
Now I think I will vaguely wander off and consider which of all these things to do first.
May God make you more holy this week, and may you all be obedient to his suffering and go to church as often as you are able.
Monday, April 06, 2009
Friday, April 03, 2009
Not at all a Calm Friday
Matt was just on his way into town to turn in our home school quarterly report and was unable to get there as all the schools are in lock down and all of downtown is roped off due to this. If you have a chance to pray, please do.
Thursday, April 02, 2009
Just a Calm Thursday Morning......
Crazed is actually a better word, Just a Crazed Thursday Morning. Every time I sit down to read the Bible pure chaos breaks out. Of course, when I sit down to the computer, everything becomes ominously quiet. Its almost as if Somebody doesn't want me to read the Bible! Well! I'm tougher than that. By gum, I'm going to get off the computer and read the Bible even if All Hell Breaks loose.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Hee hee hee
Obama has to raise taxes on everyone because nobody in his administration is paying theirs. Hee hee hee (that's me laughing quietly and contentedly to myself).
Monday, March 30, 2009
Monday Mourning
Matt is trying to work up the moral fiber to go to the store, even at this late hour, and I'm turning my back on a shattered and filthy kitchen, and there are four children shouting with all their might for some reason unknown to me.
I know Stand Firm and MCJ are more than brilliantly dealing with this disaster, but I wanted to add two cents anyway. I recently had the opportunity to plead with someone, over the phone, who was contemplating an abortion. I have no idea if she carried through, probably she did. I had found out only one or two days earlier that I was pregnant and I was physically and emotionally wrecked after pleading and begging with this poor young woman, able to see in my mind's eye exactly the horrendous and painfilled course she had charted out for herself, the whimsy and triteness with which she spoke of her plans. It was days before I was able to let go of it. I've still been praying for her every minute that I think of it.
The fact is, poor Ms. Ragsdale, with her, "when a woman becomes pregnant within a loving, supportive, respectful relationship; has every option open to her, decides she does not wish to bear a child; and has access to safe, affordable abortion-there is not a tragedy in sight-only blessing...abortion is a blessing and our work is not done..." is in such a horribly precarious position. With the power structures momentarily and temporally on her side, as she flings herself farther and farther down a path of hellish destruction, carrying the most vulnerable and spiritually needy with her, she is laying up for herself millstone of unimaginable proportion. Honestly, if anyone needs desperate prayer, it is Ms. Ragsdale.
I know Stand Firm and MCJ are more than brilliantly dealing with this disaster, but I wanted to add two cents anyway. I recently had the opportunity to plead with someone, over the phone, who was contemplating an abortion. I have no idea if she carried through, probably she did. I had found out only one or two days earlier that I was pregnant and I was physically and emotionally wrecked after pleading and begging with this poor young woman, able to see in my mind's eye exactly the horrendous and painfilled course she had charted out for herself, the whimsy and triteness with which she spoke of her plans. It was days before I was able to let go of it. I've still been praying for her every minute that I think of it.
The fact is, poor Ms. Ragsdale, with her, "when a woman becomes pregnant within a loving, supportive, respectful relationship; has every option open to her, decides she does not wish to bear a child; and has access to safe, affordable abortion-there is not a tragedy in sight-only blessing...abortion is a blessing and our work is not done..." is in such a horribly precarious position. With the power structures momentarily and temporally on her side, as she flings herself farther and farther down a path of hellish destruction, carrying the most vulnerable and spiritually needy with her, she is laying up for herself millstone of unimaginable proportion. Honestly, if anyone needs desperate prayer, it is Ms. Ragsdale.
Sunday, March 29, 2009
A Quiet Sunday Evening
Signs of new babies around here always includes the periodic ordering of pizza which Never Normally happens. Turns out that one medium cheese pizza is barely enough to feed four children and me-well, it was exactly enough, so much for leftovers tomorrow.
Now we're watching Apollo 13 and the suspense is killing us. We're arguing about which astronauts these were, since the only ones we know about are Neil Armstrong (Which I inexplicably misspelled on my board for CC this last Wednesday) and Edwin Aldrin (Which is surprisingly hard to say if you're 4 or 5 years old). Matt is the only one who has seen this movie or knows anything about and he's not being helpful about telling us what is going to happen next.
Anyway, the reason I'm really writing is that Aloysius said something astute and wonderful after receiving holy communion today:
"Why do we eat a piece of Jesus every Sunday? Jesus must be awfully big if everyone gets a piece of him."
Oh, and, Grandpa, I took some pictures this morning, so now I just have to locate my chord and I'll post them. I can't seem to locate my cd's which means remembering to buy one when I'm out. Have a happy Sunday evening.
Now we're watching Apollo 13 and the suspense is killing us. We're arguing about which astronauts these were, since the only ones we know about are Neil Armstrong (Which I inexplicably misspelled on my board for CC this last Wednesday) and Edwin Aldrin (Which is surprisingly hard to say if you're 4 or 5 years old). Matt is the only one who has seen this movie or knows anything about and he's not being helpful about telling us what is going to happen next.
Anyway, the reason I'm really writing is that Aloysius said something astute and wonderful after receiving holy communion today:
"Why do we eat a piece of Jesus every Sunday? Jesus must be awfully big if everyone gets a piece of him."
Oh, and, Grandpa, I took some pictures this morning, so now I just have to locate my chord and I'll post them. I can't seem to locate my cd's which means remembering to buy one when I'm out. Have a happy Sunday evening.
Friday, March 27, 2009
Youngest Babies
I have just been awakened from a deep and disturbing sleep by Matt tripping over a laundry basket placed carefully in the middle of the floor, just for that purpose, and it turns out I was dreaming that I'd just returned from an extended deployment in Iraq and was hugging a lot of unconnected people who identified themselves as my family. But there's No Way that could have been the case. Very weird.
So now, tealess and nauseated, I'm sitting here considering my options.
Gladys came in just now swinging a pot lid wildly and shouting 'Mommmmyyyyyy! Where is Daddddy?' I was not under the impression that she was old enough to speak in whole sentences.
'He's at church' I told her.
'Chhhhuchhh?' She repeated ten times. So that's another word we can add to her list. It heretofore includes 'Don't do that', 'Stop it', 'Stop crying', 'hi', 'bye', 'poppy' (potty), and everyone's name. You can tell that's she's not a first child, I think.
So now I need think about feeding the masses, and then we need to do some school and go the library and who knows what else. It looks to be a sunny day, so I will have to adjust my mood accordingly.
So now, tealess and nauseated, I'm sitting here considering my options.
Gladys came in just now swinging a pot lid wildly and shouting 'Mommmmyyyyyy! Where is Daddddy?' I was not under the impression that she was old enough to speak in whole sentences.
'He's at church' I told her.
'Chhhhuchhh?' She repeated ten times. So that's another word we can add to her list. It heretofore includes 'Don't do that', 'Stop it', 'Stop crying', 'hi', 'bye', 'poppy' (potty), and everyone's name. You can tell that's she's not a first child, I think.
So now I need think about feeding the masses, and then we need to do some school and go the library and who knows what else. It looks to be a sunny day, so I will have to adjust my mood accordingly.
Monday, March 23, 2009
I'm Back!
As usual, I did not intend to take a week and a half off blogging, but, well, since when do any of my plans really go the way I intend.
The Bishop and his wife were lovely. The weekend they were here, as you can imagine, was packed chock full. Friday night we had them here-fancy crostinis with mascarpone and blue cheese on some, and Micah's amazing hummus on others, with olives and roast red peppers on top to start, followed by salmon poached in a sauce of mayonnaise, wine, dijon, fresh dill and lemon, thinly sliced crisped in the oven potatos, salad, and for dessert, baked strawberries, blueberries, blackberries and peaches with cream or mascarpone on top. On the whole I think the food came out beautifully. The children were practically angelic. I don't know how I can complain about them any more because they were so golden-shaking hands, conversing politely, not throwing food, being helpful...now I'm bragging.
Saturday was a marathon run of touring the grounds, lunch, confirmation and vestry meetings, bible study, choir practice and finally a very fancy dinner out at the Kilmer Steak House here in Bing, which is the one place Matt and I choose to go if we go anywhere. I had the Shepherd's Pie and it was so delicious I found myself speaking French.
Sunday was an extravaganza of confirmation and food afterward. Boy, now that I think about it, we really just ate our way through the weekend.
Not surprisingly I lay on the floor on Monday and Tuesday and then Thursday. The children all either have allergies or a cold. Either way we're kind of stumbling along over piles of laundry and deeply grateful that we don't live on the lavish scale every day.
I've been trying also to tweak our vaguely disfunctional homeschool life. I've settled on Elphine getting into bed with me very early in the morning (she's a raving morning person and I am not) and reading to me while I try to wake up with tea. In this manner she is fresh and I am relaxed and she reads beautifully, rather than struggling with each other in the late afternoon. Then we do morning chores and carry on with the day as normal, only without the threat of reading over our heads. We do a sort of variable circle time with The Word of the Day, and This Day in History (I'll leave it to you to google, Cirlce Time comes from Preschoolers and Peace), and then the bulk of our memory work. Then lunch or something, and then math and other reading. It seems to be sort of going along.
But, if you want to know the Real reason I haven't been blogging its because we are happy to announce the news that another Kennedy Bun is on the way. We're so excited we can hardly stand it. All our family evenings are now given to trying to think of a suitable name, and arguing over whether it is a boy or a girl. So far my chidlren are lined up along the side of 'Jane' and 'Ted'. I have no idea where these preferences come from. As for me, I am totally sick-So Sick-I vowed to myself I would not complain, so I try to smile cheerfully as I lie dismally on the floor and direct traffic. But really, I've been complaining all the time. I'm probably about 7 weeks along but I haven't been to the doctor yet so I don't know.
'When will we have 100 children?' Alouiscious wanted to know yesterday.
'I don't know,' I said, 'why don't we start with 5?'
'Or ten' said Elphine, 'let's have 10'.
'Well, right now we're having five, that's a lot'.
'I guess,' they said.
The Bishop and his wife were lovely. The weekend they were here, as you can imagine, was packed chock full. Friday night we had them here-fancy crostinis with mascarpone and blue cheese on some, and Micah's amazing hummus on others, with olives and roast red peppers on top to start, followed by salmon poached in a sauce of mayonnaise, wine, dijon, fresh dill and lemon, thinly sliced crisped in the oven potatos, salad, and for dessert, baked strawberries, blueberries, blackberries and peaches with cream or mascarpone on top. On the whole I think the food came out beautifully. The children were practically angelic. I don't know how I can complain about them any more because they were so golden-shaking hands, conversing politely, not throwing food, being helpful...now I'm bragging.
Saturday was a marathon run of touring the grounds, lunch, confirmation and vestry meetings, bible study, choir practice and finally a very fancy dinner out at the Kilmer Steak House here in Bing, which is the one place Matt and I choose to go if we go anywhere. I had the Shepherd's Pie and it was so delicious I found myself speaking French.
Sunday was an extravaganza of confirmation and food afterward. Boy, now that I think about it, we really just ate our way through the weekend.
Not surprisingly I lay on the floor on Monday and Tuesday and then Thursday. The children all either have allergies or a cold. Either way we're kind of stumbling along over piles of laundry and deeply grateful that we don't live on the lavish scale every day.
I've been trying also to tweak our vaguely disfunctional homeschool life. I've settled on Elphine getting into bed with me very early in the morning (she's a raving morning person and I am not) and reading to me while I try to wake up with tea. In this manner she is fresh and I am relaxed and she reads beautifully, rather than struggling with each other in the late afternoon. Then we do morning chores and carry on with the day as normal, only without the threat of reading over our heads. We do a sort of variable circle time with The Word of the Day, and This Day in History (I'll leave it to you to google, Cirlce Time comes from Preschoolers and Peace), and then the bulk of our memory work. Then lunch or something, and then math and other reading. It seems to be sort of going along.
But, if you want to know the Real reason I haven't been blogging its because we are happy to announce the news that another Kennedy Bun is on the way. We're so excited we can hardly stand it. All our family evenings are now given to trying to think of a suitable name, and arguing over whether it is a boy or a girl. So far my chidlren are lined up along the side of 'Jane' and 'Ted'. I have no idea where these preferences come from. As for me, I am totally sick-So Sick-I vowed to myself I would not complain, so I try to smile cheerfully as I lie dismally on the floor and direct traffic. But really, I've been complaining all the time. I'm probably about 7 weeks along but I haven't been to the doctor yet so I don't know.
'When will we have 100 children?' Alouiscious wanted to know yesterday.
'I don't know,' I said, 'why don't we start with 5?'
'Or ten' said Elphine, 'let's have 10'.
'Well, right now we're having five, that's a lot'.
'I guess,' they said.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
The bishop is coming! The bishop is coming!
I have to clean and think of something amazing to cook for dinner and instruct my children as to the correct protocol during this exciting time. (That just means that Romulus will not be allowed to run naked, Elphine and Alouiscious will not be allowed to interrupt, and those of us who can't keep from throwing food-Gladys-will have an early dinner and go to bed). Also, I want to cram the bulletin in early so I can enjoy all the festivities. So blogging will be light.
Monday, March 09, 2009
my sermon, again
Monday, March 9, 2009
Download "Sermon: Coming into the Light" in MP3 format
See the full text here
You'll see that the ending is actually pulled together. It came to me what I'd been trying to say, as I said it. Enjoy.
Sunday, March 08, 2009
My sermon fro this morning-1 John 1:5-10
As usual, this has a rather abrupt ending. I am planning on praying since otherwise I could just go on and on without ever ending it. Enjoy!
If you will turn in your Bibles to First John,
chapter 1.
Micah tried to strong arm me
into only taking verses 5, 6 and 7 today,
‘You preach on the light bit’
He said to me last week,
‘I’ll talk about sin’.
Trouble is, as we shall discover today,
you can’t talk about ‘the light bit’
without talking about sin.
Don’t worry,
there is so much to say about sin,
especially as it is lent,
I’m sure there will be something left over.
Verse 5,
‘This is the message we have heard from him,’
Who?
Right, Jesus,
the message we heard from Jesus.
‘that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all.’
Most all of you know that the day we moved
from the old rectory
to this nice new one,
our cat spooked and went missing.
For the next five weeks or so,
the specter of this missing cat
hovered over us in all his soft
black
dysfunctional absence.
First we went looking for him every day.
Then, the night before we turned the keys over,
I slept at the old house.
Then, I called all the shelters in the area
Also, we prayed at least three times a day for his safe recovery.
All the time it was extremely cold.
Figuring he was out in the snow,
We hoped against hope that he was surviving.
Then, as most of you know,
three Saturdays ago,
just as we were starting to think that we should get supper going,
and pick clothes for church,
and start baths,
and do the bulletin,
we got a call from Fr. Martinichio
that he was in the house
and that the cat was there.
Did we want to come get him?
Yes, yes we did.
We All got in the car,
three of us without shoes
and one without a coat,
and drove there as safely and as quickly as possible.
We went in the house—
empty and dim in the fading evening light—
down into the basement,
how many times did I want to rip that basement apart and redo it?
So many times—
and then began about an hour and a half
of trying to extract the cat from behind the basement wall,
from a little hole under the stairs
where he was hiding.
He was as far back as he could be.
We ripped a couple of boards down,
and when I say we,
I mean Matt and Fr. Martinichio,
and then a couple of other ones farther down.
And then I climbed up
and stuck my arm in as far as I could,
and managed to pet him a bit
so that he came towards me,
and then I grabbed him
and drug him out of the small hole.
Several times, throughout the ordeal,
we would shine a flashlight in through the hole
and see him staring at us,
moving himself back as far as he could to get away from us.
In the days and weeks that I’ve read this line from John,
‘God is light, and in him there is no darkness at all’
I have seen my own self,
in the dark,
backing away from the light as best I can,
trying to avoid the piercing,
truth revealing,
life changing
spotlight like gaze of a holy and perfect God,
in whom no darkness can reside.
This is the human condition,
Apart from and before the solution of Jesus
and this is what John taking on full throttle in this text.
As human beings we are in darkness
and most of us either don’t know it,
don’t care,
or like it.
And because God is holy, perfect, good,
darkness cannot exist were he is.
But if God is light,
and no darkness can have any part of him
or be anywhere near him,
where then are all of us?
Not with him,
because we are bound up in darkness.
Our hearts are dark and covered in sin.
We live underneath the stairs,
backing away from light,
life,
water,
food,
love.
We may not think that’s the case.
We may,
under the stairs,
think,
boy its cozy down here.
Boy,
I’m so glad I’m safe here in my hole
instead of in the big bad world out there.
And we back further into the corner.
If someone comes and shines a light in our eyes,
we insist that in fact we are not in the dark
and that they had better go ahead and leave us alone.
What have I just described?
An unregenerate,
pre real encounter with God,
unrepentant person.
Most of us don’t fall into this category
but we can remember what it was like.
More so because
even after you come into the light,
you come out from under the stairs,
the business of having light shone on our hearts goes on,
and its not always a comfortable experience.
But I’m jumping ahead of myself.
How do we even know if we are in the light?
Verse 6:
If we say we have fellowship with him
while we walk in the darkness,
we lie and do not practice the truth.
But if we walk in the light,
as he is in the light,
we have fellowship with one another,
and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin.
8 If we say we have no sin,
we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.
There are three things we might say in order to deceive ourselves
about whether or not we are in the light.
First, we might say that we have fellowship with God.
John is writing specifically to people
who claimed to have fellowship with God,
but did not have true fellowship with each other.
Not only so, some,
even as they claimed to have fellowship with God,
did not accept the apostolic teaching—
that Jesus, the Son of God, died,
was buried
and rose again in his body,
that Jesus was the full, perfect and sufficient sacrifice for sin,
They instead sought to undermine the teaching of the apostles
and to draw people away from the truth.
So their claim of ‘fellowship with God’
was in reality life in darkness.
Just saying it doesn’t make it so.
Just seeing the light doesn’t mean you’re walking in it.
Just saying that you walk in the light,
does not in fact bring you into the light.
Saying that we have fellowship with God,
while rejecting what he says about himself,
and rejecting true fellowship in the community of believers
is speaking a lie.
No, those who walk in the light
should evidence certain characteristics.
They love the truth.
They accept the apostolic teaching.
They love each other.
The apostolic teaching
and the fellowship of believers
hold you accountable.
The apostolic teaching,
that is the Bible,
acts as a brilliantly lit mirror.
We can’t avoid the lines and wrinkles
and troubling marks of sin.
The fellowship of believers likewise
doesn’t allow us to pretend that we live a certain way,
everyone can see what way we live.
Lest we try and lie to ourselves
and creep back into the darkness,
these two things shed light on us.
Second, we might say that we have no sin.
We might once have sinned,
but now we’re saved and we have no sin.
This is a big problem, isn’t it?
Why?
Because its not true.
If we say that we have no sin,
we’re pulling ourselves away from the gaze,
the cleansing fire,
the purifying spotlight of God’s loving sanctifying work.
Its counterintuitive.
If you say that you have not sinned,
the lie magnifies the state in which you actually live,
But,
if you acknowledge that you sin,
and step into the light,
and tell the truth,
the act of stepping into the light
cleanses you of your sin.
So instead of standing in a spotlight
and having everyone see how awful you are,
you stand in the spotlight
and have everyone see that you’re forgiven.
It happens as you come into the light.
That’s what this means:
But if we walk in the light,
as he is in the light,
we have fellowship with one another,
and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin.
You step into the light,
you walk in the light,
you tell the truth,
and you are cleansed,
purified, forgiven by the blood of Jesus.
And Three, go down to verse 10, we might say that we have not sinned.
Why is this not true?
Right,
All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.
There isn’t one single solitary person on this earth,
Jesus being the One Exception,
who has not sinned.
All of us not only sin on a daily basis,
we have sinned in the past,
and we will sin again tomorrow.
If we say we have not sinned,
we are calling God a liar.
Is he a liar?
No.
So we must not say that we have not sinned.
But what happens if we tell the truth?
He is faithful and just,
he’s not playing mind games,
he’s not arbitrarily mean.
He is faithful,
and just.
If you confess—
that is, say that you’re sorry
and make every effort to walk in the opposite direction—
he will forgive and cleanse you.
Now, as I said,
most of us know this.
We are children of the light,
we’ve asked Jesus to forgive us.
We feel basically all set.
Why would we need to read this passage again?
Let alone memorize it, as I had to as a child.
I always thought someone must think I was a terrible liar,
that this passage was assigned to me all the time to memorize.
Look at the word ‘walk’ in your text.
‘Walk in the light’.
God is going to always be calling you out of the darkness.
Sin is tangled up in our hearts.
As Jesus slowly untangles the mess of each of us,
and puts our hearts and minds in order,
more and more light needs to be shown.
And each light switch that goes on
in a new messy dysfunctional room in our hearts
is going to hurt.
And we’re going to want to rush over
and flip it off
and ask Jesus to go do something else for the day.
But that would ask him to be a liar,
putting a lie to the saving work he has done on our behalf.
Don’t back away from his gaze.
Don’t flinch in the face of his holy fire.
It is a purifying gaze,
a righteous fire.
As you step into it,
the dross, muck and ugliness of sin is burned away.
Lent, this season of stepping intentionally into the fire of God’s love
is such a gracious gift.
As with all suffering,
It is to be endured with joy and thanksgiving.
Walk in the light.
God, who is faithful and just
will shield you in his glory.
He will give you his own holiness,
his own righteousness,
his own perfect beauty. Amen.
If you will turn in your Bibles to First John,
chapter 1.
Micah tried to strong arm me
into only taking verses 5, 6 and 7 today,
‘You preach on the light bit’
He said to me last week,
‘I’ll talk about sin’.
Trouble is, as we shall discover today,
you can’t talk about ‘the light bit’
without talking about sin.
Don’t worry,
there is so much to say about sin,
especially as it is lent,
I’m sure there will be something left over.
Verse 5,
‘This is the message we have heard from him,’
Who?
Right, Jesus,
the message we heard from Jesus.
‘that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all.’
Most all of you know that the day we moved
from the old rectory
to this nice new one,
our cat spooked and went missing.
For the next five weeks or so,
the specter of this missing cat
hovered over us in all his soft
black
dysfunctional absence.
First we went looking for him every day.
Then, the night before we turned the keys over,
I slept at the old house.
Then, I called all the shelters in the area
Also, we prayed at least three times a day for his safe recovery.
All the time it was extremely cold.
Figuring he was out in the snow,
We hoped against hope that he was surviving.
Then, as most of you know,
three Saturdays ago,
just as we were starting to think that we should get supper going,
and pick clothes for church,
and start baths,
and do the bulletin,
we got a call from Fr. Martinichio
that he was in the house
and that the cat was there.
Did we want to come get him?
Yes, yes we did.
We All got in the car,
three of us without shoes
and one without a coat,
and drove there as safely and as quickly as possible.
We went in the house—
empty and dim in the fading evening light—
down into the basement,
how many times did I want to rip that basement apart and redo it?
So many times—
and then began about an hour and a half
of trying to extract the cat from behind the basement wall,
from a little hole under the stairs
where he was hiding.
He was as far back as he could be.
We ripped a couple of boards down,
and when I say we,
I mean Matt and Fr. Martinichio,
and then a couple of other ones farther down.
And then I climbed up
and stuck my arm in as far as I could,
and managed to pet him a bit
so that he came towards me,
and then I grabbed him
and drug him out of the small hole.
Several times, throughout the ordeal,
we would shine a flashlight in through the hole
and see him staring at us,
moving himself back as far as he could to get away from us.
In the days and weeks that I’ve read this line from John,
‘God is light, and in him there is no darkness at all’
I have seen my own self,
in the dark,
backing away from the light as best I can,
trying to avoid the piercing,
truth revealing,
life changing
spotlight like gaze of a holy and perfect God,
in whom no darkness can reside.
This is the human condition,
Apart from and before the solution of Jesus
and this is what John taking on full throttle in this text.
As human beings we are in darkness
and most of us either don’t know it,
don’t care,
or like it.
And because God is holy, perfect, good,
darkness cannot exist were he is.
But if God is light,
and no darkness can have any part of him
or be anywhere near him,
where then are all of us?
Not with him,
because we are bound up in darkness.
Our hearts are dark and covered in sin.
We live underneath the stairs,
backing away from light,
life,
water,
food,
love.
We may not think that’s the case.
We may,
under the stairs,
think,
boy its cozy down here.
Boy,
I’m so glad I’m safe here in my hole
instead of in the big bad world out there.
And we back further into the corner.
If someone comes and shines a light in our eyes,
we insist that in fact we are not in the dark
and that they had better go ahead and leave us alone.
What have I just described?
An unregenerate,
pre real encounter with God,
unrepentant person.
Most of us don’t fall into this category
but we can remember what it was like.
More so because
even after you come into the light,
you come out from under the stairs,
the business of having light shone on our hearts goes on,
and its not always a comfortable experience.
But I’m jumping ahead of myself.
How do we even know if we are in the light?
Verse 6:
If we say we have fellowship with him
while we walk in the darkness,
we lie and do not practice the truth.
But if we walk in the light,
as he is in the light,
we have fellowship with one another,
and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin.
8 If we say we have no sin,
we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.
There are three things we might say in order to deceive ourselves
about whether or not we are in the light.
First, we might say that we have fellowship with God.
John is writing specifically to people
who claimed to have fellowship with God,
but did not have true fellowship with each other.
Not only so, some,
even as they claimed to have fellowship with God,
did not accept the apostolic teaching—
that Jesus, the Son of God, died,
was buried
and rose again in his body,
that Jesus was the full, perfect and sufficient sacrifice for sin,
They instead sought to undermine the teaching of the apostles
and to draw people away from the truth.
So their claim of ‘fellowship with God’
was in reality life in darkness.
Just saying it doesn’t make it so.
Just seeing the light doesn’t mean you’re walking in it.
Just saying that you walk in the light,
does not in fact bring you into the light.
Saying that we have fellowship with God,
while rejecting what he says about himself,
and rejecting true fellowship in the community of believers
is speaking a lie.
No, those who walk in the light
should evidence certain characteristics.
They love the truth.
They accept the apostolic teaching.
They love each other.
The apostolic teaching
and the fellowship of believers
hold you accountable.
The apostolic teaching,
that is the Bible,
acts as a brilliantly lit mirror.
We can’t avoid the lines and wrinkles
and troubling marks of sin.
The fellowship of believers likewise
doesn’t allow us to pretend that we live a certain way,
everyone can see what way we live.
Lest we try and lie to ourselves
and creep back into the darkness,
these two things shed light on us.
Second, we might say that we have no sin.
We might once have sinned,
but now we’re saved and we have no sin.
This is a big problem, isn’t it?
Why?
Because its not true.
If we say that we have no sin,
we’re pulling ourselves away from the gaze,
the cleansing fire,
the purifying spotlight of God’s loving sanctifying work.
Its counterintuitive.
If you say that you have not sinned,
the lie magnifies the state in which you actually live,
But,
if you acknowledge that you sin,
and step into the light,
and tell the truth,
the act of stepping into the light
cleanses you of your sin.
So instead of standing in a spotlight
and having everyone see how awful you are,
you stand in the spotlight
and have everyone see that you’re forgiven.
It happens as you come into the light.
That’s what this means:
But if we walk in the light,
as he is in the light,
we have fellowship with one another,
and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin.
You step into the light,
you walk in the light,
you tell the truth,
and you are cleansed,
purified, forgiven by the blood of Jesus.
And Three, go down to verse 10, we might say that we have not sinned.
Why is this not true?
Right,
All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.
There isn’t one single solitary person on this earth,
Jesus being the One Exception,
who has not sinned.
All of us not only sin on a daily basis,
we have sinned in the past,
and we will sin again tomorrow.
If we say we have not sinned,
we are calling God a liar.
Is he a liar?
No.
So we must not say that we have not sinned.
But what happens if we tell the truth?
He is faithful and just,
he’s not playing mind games,
he’s not arbitrarily mean.
He is faithful,
and just.
If you confess—
that is, say that you’re sorry
and make every effort to walk in the opposite direction—
he will forgive and cleanse you.
Now, as I said,
most of us know this.
We are children of the light,
we’ve asked Jesus to forgive us.
We feel basically all set.
Why would we need to read this passage again?
Let alone memorize it, as I had to as a child.
I always thought someone must think I was a terrible liar,
that this passage was assigned to me all the time to memorize.
Look at the word ‘walk’ in your text.
‘Walk in the light’.
God is going to always be calling you out of the darkness.
Sin is tangled up in our hearts.
As Jesus slowly untangles the mess of each of us,
and puts our hearts and minds in order,
more and more light needs to be shown.
And each light switch that goes on
in a new messy dysfunctional room in our hearts
is going to hurt.
And we’re going to want to rush over
and flip it off
and ask Jesus to go do something else for the day.
But that would ask him to be a liar,
putting a lie to the saving work he has done on our behalf.
Don’t back away from his gaze.
Don’t flinch in the face of his holy fire.
It is a purifying gaze,
a righteous fire.
As you step into it,
the dross, muck and ugliness of sin is burned away.
Lent, this season of stepping intentionally into the fire of God’s love
is such a gracious gift.
As with all suffering,
It is to be endured with joy and thanksgiving.
Walk in the light.
God, who is faithful and just
will shield you in his glory.
He will give you his own holiness,
his own righteousness,
his own perfect beauty. Amen.
Friday, March 06, 2009
My speed obsessed son
A: Why are you speeding, Mommy?
Me: I'm not speeding. I'm going the speed limit.
A: It feels like your speeding.
Me: Well I'm not.
a few minutes later
A: Can you please go faster?
Me: No, I'm sorry, I can't go faster than the car in front of me.
A: Why not?
Me: Because then I would hit him and that would be bad.
a few minutes later
A: I'm really tired of you driving so slow.
Me: Please don't complain. I'm going as fast as I'm allowed.
A: Well, I really wish you would go faster.
Me: I'm not speeding. I'm going the speed limit.
A: It feels like your speeding.
Me: Well I'm not.
a few minutes later
A: Can you please go faster?
Me: No, I'm sorry, I can't go faster than the car in front of me.
A: Why not?
Me: Because then I would hit him and that would be bad.
a few minutes later
A: I'm really tired of you driving so slow.
Me: Please don't complain. I'm going as fast as I'm allowed.
A: Well, I really wish you would go faster.
Thursday, March 05, 2009
A Lenten Confession
I'm going to try and go to Catechesis training on Saturday. I'm planning to just go for the morning. Contigent on this crazy idea is that tomorrow I write a sermon, do the bulletin, catch up on the laundry, write a stack of letters, and reclaim order of some kind in some domain...Matt says he will supervise the children doing school.
It occurred to me, as I was writing out my list of things I expected to do, that whereas other people over indulge in food, alcohol, exercise, greed-I don't know, name a vice-I over indulge in 'things I plan to do in a day'. I'm so afraid of doing too little, that I always plan to do far far too much. And like any vice, I enjoy it, and most of the time, I spiritualizingly justify it to myself in order to make myself feel more holy than you.
Matt is an excellent prioritizing focus point. 'Breathe,' he says, 'list of what you have to do'.
I start listing and after each thing he says 'up' or 'down' meaning they go up or down in importance on the list. I was irritated, this morning, to hear him put 'take a shower' way down on the list. But he was completely right. By cutting that out, and all the housework, we did a full day of school, I made a bevy of calls, I made fantastic meals (Breakfast: soft boiled eggs and toast. Lunch: Ramen and grilled cheese. Supper: Buckwheat Banana Pancakes) and now I'm blogging.
I'm not making a true confession. I don't feel repentant enough about my way of life to desire to change it, yet, but at least I've noticed. So those of you who were waiting for a quiet moment to mention this huge character flaw to me can rest in peace that I already know.
It occurred to me, as I was writing out my list of things I expected to do, that whereas other people over indulge in food, alcohol, exercise, greed-I don't know, name a vice-I over indulge in 'things I plan to do in a day'. I'm so afraid of doing too little, that I always plan to do far far too much. And like any vice, I enjoy it, and most of the time, I spiritualizingly justify it to myself in order to make myself feel more holy than you.
Matt is an excellent prioritizing focus point. 'Breathe,' he says, 'list of what you have to do'.
I start listing and after each thing he says 'up' or 'down' meaning they go up or down in importance on the list. I was irritated, this morning, to hear him put 'take a shower' way down on the list. But he was completely right. By cutting that out, and all the housework, we did a full day of school, I made a bevy of calls, I made fantastic meals (Breakfast: soft boiled eggs and toast. Lunch: Ramen and grilled cheese. Supper: Buckwheat Banana Pancakes) and now I'm blogging.
I'm not making a true confession. I don't feel repentant enough about my way of life to desire to change it, yet, but at least I've noticed. So those of you who were waiting for a quiet moment to mention this huge character flaw to me can rest in peace that I already know.
Tuesday, March 03, 2009
Praying, as it were
A very long time ago someone asked what we do for morning prayer. Obviously, I never got around to saying, but I recently came across these old pictures I took when I meant to blog about it so long ago. I made up pretty little laminated cards with an abbreviated morning prayer-opening sentence, confession, short versicle, apostle's creed, Lord's Prayer, dismissal. In place of readings and canticles, we've been reading haphazardly around the Bible, memorizing ABC verses (A: All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God; B: Believe in the Lord Jesus Christ...;E: Even a child is known by his acts by whether his conduct is pure and upright; etc.), singing Per Crucem in preparation for Lent (from my battered Taize song book), and adding our own petitions at the right moment. Plus, we worked really hard to memorize the service, verses and song and were thereby able to lead our CC group in Morning Prayer as our family prsentation. Well, I really led our CC group in MP because my two frustrating children stood mutely behind me with their hands in thier mouths, paralized to speak or smile or do anything. But they did know it, at least in the car on the way there. We're currently taking a break from it and doing a lovely and simple Lenten Family Devotional (thank you Sarah!). Come Easter I'll remake the cards with some new versicles and sentences for a new season and we'll start again.
Monday, March 02, 2009
A Quiet Monday Morning Thought
I have been vaguely paying attention to the recent "election" of a Buddhist/Episcopalian person to the office of Bishop in Michigan. I certainly haven't been reading everything, so someone may have noticed this, but after trying, unsuccessfully, to listen to a whole sermon by this poor man, I'm left thinking that the Buddhist part is really there essentially to make him more interesting. Were he just a regular Episcopalian, his theology wouldn't be near fascinating enough to make him bishop. The Buddhist part is necessary for him even being noticed. Its not enough to just be heretical any more, you have to belong to a whole other religion. I say this as someone who was trying to listen to the sermon in hopes that he would say something Buddhist. Unfortunately, even that tantalizing morsel was not enough to keep me listening after 10 minutes. I had babies to change, supper to start, and the first four elements of the periodic table to review.
When and how did it happen that the essentials of Christian Truth and Teaching became boring? Because that's why so many are flitting after other gods, isn't it? Because the Bible couldn't possibly be interesting enough on its own. God isn't big enough or fascinating enough to pursue on his own terms. But if that's the road you take, eventually everybody else will be bored and leave because its Not True.
When and how did it happen that the essentials of Christian Truth and Teaching became boring? Because that's why so many are flitting after other gods, isn't it? Because the Bible couldn't possibly be interesting enough on its own. God isn't big enough or fascinating enough to pursue on his own terms. But if that's the road you take, eventually everybody else will be bored and leave because its Not True.
Saturday, February 28, 2009
What we'll be singing tomorrow
Wilt thou forgive that sin, where I begun,which is my sin, though it were done before?
Wilt thou forgive those sins through which I run,
and do run still, though still I do deplore?
When thou has done, thou has not done, for I have more.
Wilt thou forgive that sin, by which I won
others to sin, and made my sin their door?
Wilt thou forgive that sin which I did shun
a year or two, but wallowed in a score?
When thou has done, thou hast not done, for I have more.
I have a sin of fear that when I’ve spun
my last thread, I shall perish on the shore;
Swear by thyself, that at my death thy Son
shall shine as he shines now, and heretofore.
And having done, that thou hast done, I fear no more.
-John Donne (1573-1631)
Friday, February 27, 2009
Odds and Ends
A note of clarification
It occurred to me, after several days, that I ought to add a point of clarification to the second point of this post. Particularly, I wanted to clarify that I don't indulge in this vice in front of my children, indeed, I believe many of you were surprised that I might indulge in it at all. No, profanity is something I've coddled away to those quiet hours of the night, when, a cat on each side, a large cup of hot milk in hand, a novel on the cover before me, and a husband with an open ear, I say, rather easily, what I really think. The trouble is, its been too easy, in light of our current circumstances, and I feel that my command of the English language is diminishing and that I need to be more creative.
Hearty Lenten Pasta
cabbage, broccoli, onion, garlic, all in a pan with butter until melting and delicious, then add feta, cream and whole grain penne, cooked perfectly. Delicious.
A Compliment
Aloicious gazing at me lovingly from behind his milk, "Mommy, when you come get me from Tachees, and you get out of the car and smile, you look really nice."
It occurred to me, after several days, that I ought to add a point of clarification to the second point of this post. Particularly, I wanted to clarify that I don't indulge in this vice in front of my children, indeed, I believe many of you were surprised that I might indulge in it at all. No, profanity is something I've coddled away to those quiet hours of the night, when, a cat on each side, a large cup of hot milk in hand, a novel on the cover before me, and a husband with an open ear, I say, rather easily, what I really think. The trouble is, its been too easy, in light of our current circumstances, and I feel that my command of the English language is diminishing and that I need to be more creative.
Hearty Lenten Pasta
cabbage, broccoli, onion, garlic, all in a pan with butter until melting and delicious, then add feta, cream and whole grain penne, cooked perfectly. Delicious.
A Compliment
Aloicious gazing at me lovingly from behind his milk, "Mommy, when you come get me from Tachees, and you get out of the car and smile, you look really nice."
A cat once lost, is found
Here is Bander the cat, pictured as he was in the old house. He looks exactly the same, and so does the pillow.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
HELP!!!!
Can anyone suggest to me how to get cat pee out of a mattress? Or is this the time to buy a new one?
A Day of Silent Prayer
I've completely lost my voice. I don't know that this has ever happened before. I really can't speak above a whisper. Its most disconcerting. I think what finally did me in was trying to sing the history song for CC (week 17, as those who care might want to know) which happens to be one of my favorites. I got excited and over extended myself.
Speaking instead of me is Gladys, who is currently singing (loudly) 'Yeasssss Jeeesss' and doing a hand motion that possibly looks like the one for Jesus. It occurs to me that she is trying to sing Jesus loves me.
Speaking instead of me is Gladys, who is currently singing (loudly) 'Yeasssss Jeeesss' and doing a hand motion that possibly looks like the one for Jesus. It occurs to me that she is trying to sing Jesus loves me.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Lent.....
Having been pregnant for the last few lents and counted that alone as a discipline and trial enough, I thought I'd take this year as an opportunity to do three things
1. Give up sugar, because I'm starting to eat it all the time, something I never generally do, and I think its because I'm stressed, and so I'm going to stop it.
2. Give up swearing. Many of you perhaps don't know this small secret indulgence of mine. I think this is going to be the hardest.
and
3. Say Compline every evening that I reasonably can.
On that note, I'm going to go do that now, instead of anything else.
1. Give up sugar, because I'm starting to eat it all the time, something I never generally do, and I think its because I'm stressed, and so I'm going to stop it.
2. Give up swearing. Many of you perhaps don't know this small secret indulgence of mine. I think this is going to be the hardest.
and
3. Say Compline every evening that I reasonably can.
On that note, I'm going to go do that now, instead of anything else.
Monday, February 23, 2009
On the occason of havng our cat back or What's been So Amazng about you all
You can see that am typng on my lap top and have no ''s and no 'k's. if i went back and cut them all in t would take hours, so 've only done a few.
So as you all know, we've been prayng for our cat rather desperately from the moment he went missng. And we've gone back over the day and week over and over in our minds, tryng to fgure out what happened and what we ought to have done dfferently. We've worred, we've confessed our sins, and we've prayed and prayed and prayed and prayed for this cat.
its an interestng exercse, prayer and belief. Of course, we know perfectly well that God can do whatever he wants, even and includng workng in the heart and mind of a very scared and unreasonable animal to move him to do what he ought to do and go home. We see God's miracles all the time around us, but when it comes down to the wire, its been very hard for me to believe that he would Want to bring my cat home, that he mght be woring out hs perfect wll and purpose in our lives every moment, not just spiritually, but in the smallest physical detals of life.
its very foolish of me to doubt and not believe. As i consider the care God took n bringing us here, when we could not see one step in front of another; the way he used friends, Christan community, our circumstances-everything-to care for us, provide for us, show us hs love. it has felt every day that he was pourng us out lei water or a drink offerng, that we were beng splled out of hs cup into the world in a most sudden and discomfting way. And Yet, the cup never empted out. We have been blessed over and above what we could even have imagned.
The week we packed up, every day surprisng numbers of peope came and dove in. The people who welcomed us to Good Sheperd when we frst came, came that Monday and carefully and methodcally paced up all our china and crystal. Romulus' wonderful Manou came every day in the mornng and cleaned and packed and did laundry. Another wonderful friend took our laundry away and brought it back clean for two weeks. Frends from CC brought meals, took the older kds to do review, and were so helpful on the days we went to CC in the mdst of all the chaos. The two days we actually moved, most of the men's Bble study, and some sterling men from the Shepherd's Bowl worked in unbeleveable bitter cold cheerfully and graciously, and Quikly. One week exactly from loosng the suit, we slept in the new house. Meals have shown up on our doorstep unannounced. Friends have come and helped clean and unpack. its been one big circus of fun for the children-every day someone wonderful to play wth or somewhere nice to go. And then on top of it all, so many of you have prayed for our cat.
i haven't even gotten nto the gracious care and generosty of the Baptist Church, the Catholic Church, the Presbyteran Church, just about Every church in not only prayng and supportng us in word, but in deed going to great lengths to help us materal and practcally.
And my small doubt in the love and care of God is made even more redculous by ths glorous soft, warm safe kitty curled up wth me, home finally. Lest any of you doubt that God can do somethng, let our lives be a witness to you that he is very strong indeed, and loving, and that the faith of a quarter of a tiny mustard seed, when placed in the hands of God himself, can even bring an errant kitty home.
So as you all know, we've been prayng for our cat rather desperately from the moment he went missng. And we've gone back over the day and week over and over in our minds, tryng to fgure out what happened and what we ought to have done dfferently. We've worred, we've confessed our sins, and we've prayed and prayed and prayed and prayed for this cat.
its an interestng exercse, prayer and belief. Of course, we know perfectly well that God can do whatever he wants, even and includng workng in the heart and mind of a very scared and unreasonable animal to move him to do what he ought to do and go home. We see God's miracles all the time around us, but when it comes down to the wire, its been very hard for me to believe that he would Want to bring my cat home, that he mght be woring out hs perfect wll and purpose in our lives every moment, not just spiritually, but in the smallest physical detals of life.
its very foolish of me to doubt and not believe. As i consider the care God took n bringing us here, when we could not see one step in front of another; the way he used friends, Christan community, our circumstances-everything-to care for us, provide for us, show us hs love. it has felt every day that he was pourng us out lei water or a drink offerng, that we were beng splled out of hs cup into the world in a most sudden and discomfting way. And Yet, the cup never empted out. We have been blessed over and above what we could even have imagned.
The week we packed up, every day surprisng numbers of peope came and dove in. The people who welcomed us to Good Sheperd when we frst came, came that Monday and carefully and methodcally paced up all our china and crystal. Romulus' wonderful Manou came every day in the mornng and cleaned and packed and did laundry. Another wonderful friend took our laundry away and brought it back clean for two weeks. Frends from CC brought meals, took the older kds to do review, and were so helpful on the days we went to CC in the mdst of all the chaos. The two days we actually moved, most of the men's Bble study, and some sterling men from the Shepherd's Bowl worked in unbeleveable bitter cold cheerfully and graciously, and Quikly. One week exactly from loosng the suit, we slept in the new house. Meals have shown up on our doorstep unannounced. Friends have come and helped clean and unpack. its been one big circus of fun for the children-every day someone wonderful to play wth or somewhere nice to go. And then on top of it all, so many of you have prayed for our cat.
i haven't even gotten nto the gracious care and generosty of the Baptist Church, the Catholic Church, the Presbyteran Church, just about Every church in not only prayng and supportng us in word, but in deed going to great lengths to help us materal and practcally.
And my small doubt in the love and care of God is made even more redculous by ths glorous soft, warm safe kitty curled up wth me, home finally. Lest any of you doubt that God can do somethng, let our lives be a witness to you that he is very strong indeed, and loving, and that the faith of a quarter of a tiny mustard seed, when placed in the hands of God himself, can even bring an errant kitty home.
Saturday, February 21, 2009
God is gracious and merciful, abounding in steadfast love
We found our kitty. He was hiding in the old house. Finally, by going at the basement wall a little, we were able to pet and coax him out. I'm so so grateful to God. And very grateful to the people with dio CNY who were gracious enough to call us and let us into the house and help us get him out. He is a little thin, and he is currently hiding somewhere in this house, but he's home. Thank you all so much for praying.
Friday, February 20, 2009
Seven Quick Takes, but not really
I'm in no way organized enough to actually do Jen's 7 quick takes and get in on all the linking, but I thought I'd do it anyway.
One
Romulus moved into the 'big boy' bottom bunk, and Aloisius moved into the 'big boy' top bunk and I got ALL the boxes empty and out of their room. They're so cute, with all their bears, grinning sheepishly. I'm practically suckered into having more of them. On one hand, four seems like So Many, and on the other hand, it doesn't seem like quite enough. Hmmm.
Two
Gladys has a horrible cold and fever. I've been holding her all day. The brief moment I put her down, Romulus grabbed her hand, thrust his plastic sword into the air and said 'MY GLADYS'. Later he pointed his sword at Aloisius and said, 'MY MOMMY'. Even later he shouted at his own father and said 'MY WOMAN'. Arguments ensued each time.
Three
Starting seriously to do school again after such a long break and so much chaos is really tough. The insane playing that seems to go on every day, the mad crazy high pitched manner in which my children engage to play with each other is very hard to tamp down and gather into focus. Plus they are So Wiggly which drives me crazy. However, we're starting to get back into the groove. A little more each day. Inch by inch. Blend by blend.
Four
I really miss my (or rather, my mother's) cat and pray for him all day long.
Five
I also wish One of our mothers would come visit us. Because then, I'm pretty sure, everything will fall into place and it will feel totally like home.
Six
Doing the bulletin, in this very comfortable and cozy office, copier at my side, children sprawled all over the floor, thimbleful of wine in hand, makes me feel, frankly, euphoric.
Seven
Matt is going to make brusslesprouts this weekend. Nothing more needs to be said.
One
Romulus moved into the 'big boy' bottom bunk, and Aloisius moved into the 'big boy' top bunk and I got ALL the boxes empty and out of their room. They're so cute, with all their bears, grinning sheepishly. I'm practically suckered into having more of them. On one hand, four seems like So Many, and on the other hand, it doesn't seem like quite enough. Hmmm.
Two
Gladys has a horrible cold and fever. I've been holding her all day. The brief moment I put her down, Romulus grabbed her hand, thrust his plastic sword into the air and said 'MY GLADYS'. Later he pointed his sword at Aloisius and said, 'MY MOMMY'. Even later he shouted at his own father and said 'MY WOMAN'. Arguments ensued each time.
Three
Starting seriously to do school again after such a long break and so much chaos is really tough. The insane playing that seems to go on every day, the mad crazy high pitched manner in which my children engage to play with each other is very hard to tamp down and gather into focus. Plus they are So Wiggly which drives me crazy. However, we're starting to get back into the groove. A little more each day. Inch by inch. Blend by blend.
Four
I really miss my (or rather, my mother's) cat and pray for him all day long.
Five
I also wish One of our mothers would come visit us. Because then, I'm pretty sure, everything will fall into place and it will feel totally like home.
Six
Doing the bulletin, in this very comfortable and cozy office, copier at my side, children sprawled all over the floor, thimbleful of wine in hand, makes me feel, frankly, euphoric.
Seven
Matt is going to make brusslesprouts this weekend. Nothing more needs to be said.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Uncommonly Cold, Uncommonly Tired
Due to Elphine being wonderful and having her picture on tv (which, unfortunately, seems not to be posted, boo), we visited the Discovery Center (Children's Museum) today with friends, and the rest of the town of Binghamton as well it seemed. A hyper pitched insanely wild good time was had by all. Its as if my chidlren never go anywhere and see no one (which is not true) they were so ecstatic. We had a long discussion about a 'thankful response' versus a 'whiney when can we go again' when it was all over.
Now I'm crashing into bed because they actually completely wore me out. Oh, and my blankity blank camera had some kind of 'issue' and refused to work, Even Though I had remembered to take it. So there are no pictures. You'll just have to imagine the fever pitch for yourselves.
Now I'm crashing into bed because they actually completely wore me out. Oh, and my blankity blank camera had some kind of 'issue' and refused to work, Even Though I had remembered to take it. So there are no pictures. You'll just have to imagine the fever pitch for yourselves.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Round and Round We Go
I've been seriously inhibited in doing the second part of this post, about how Wonderful and Amazing our friends, family and church family have been in the last month, by the fact that I've been actually trying to write proper thank you notes, and so have been conserving my writing energy to attend to that giant endeavor. Unfortunately, I' m not doing a good job. In fact, while I've written a few notes, I have not been able to seem to put addresses on them and send them. And then there's the long list, of course, that I haven't written. I'm caught in that awful place of not doing my duty on either side-writing here or writing there.
Which is really where I find myself so much of the time now. I flit from one thing to another, never finishing anything, starting a thousand things, unfocused, overwhelmed, and guilty. 'Oh' said Matt yesterday, 'You're that woman.'
'What woman?!'
'That woman I preached about three years ago. I thought it was someone else but it appears to be you.'
'What woman?!'
'That woman who starts to vacuum the house, looks up and sees that the laundry isn't done, stops vacuuming to do laundry, sees that the beds aren't made, stops doing laundry to make the beds, sees the bathrooms need to be cleaned, stops making beds to clean the bathrooms. So finally at the end of the day, the house is in more of a wreck than when she started.'
'You're right! I'm going in circles' I said.
I wasn't always this person. I've probably always tended toward it, but crisis brings out both the best and the worst in us, and in this case, we have So Much Stuff, and so many little things in life have piled up, and then I wrecked the car, and we're a touch behind in school (to make the understatement of the century), that I feel to myself that I'm going in circles.
I can vaguely see light at the end of the tunnel. Eventually spring will come and we'll be able to bear being out in the garage looking for all the things we want. And hopefully by then we will have lived without them so long we won't want them any more and will be able sell them, or give them away. And we're gradually falling into a routine. And I'm slowly beginning to feel comfy in this house. I'm not thinking constantly about the door handles in the old one, and the way the light would stream through the window in the morning, and that certain cobweb over the piano that I always meant to sweep down but never did. My minds eye has slowly been turning to imagine what color the dining room ought to be, and whether we should keep a lot of things in the hallway, or nothing at all. And just now the snow is seriously pouring heavily out of the sky, so I will go and have another whack at those notes, and help Elphine and Alouiscious think of possible clubs to start-a Castle Club, a Book Making Club, A Picnic Club, a Girls Club With No Boys Allowed, or a Coloring Club. I think those were the options. My suggestion of a Memory Work and Reading Club did not fly. Oh well.
Which is really where I find myself so much of the time now. I flit from one thing to another, never finishing anything, starting a thousand things, unfocused, overwhelmed, and guilty. 'Oh' said Matt yesterday, 'You're that woman.'
'What woman?!'
'That woman I preached about three years ago. I thought it was someone else but it appears to be you.'
'What woman?!'
'That woman who starts to vacuum the house, looks up and sees that the laundry isn't done, stops vacuuming to do laundry, sees that the beds aren't made, stops doing laundry to make the beds, sees the bathrooms need to be cleaned, stops making beds to clean the bathrooms. So finally at the end of the day, the house is in more of a wreck than when she started.'
'You're right! I'm going in circles' I said.
I wasn't always this person. I've probably always tended toward it, but crisis brings out both the best and the worst in us, and in this case, we have So Much Stuff, and so many little things in life have piled up, and then I wrecked the car, and we're a touch behind in school (to make the understatement of the century), that I feel to myself that I'm going in circles.
I can vaguely see light at the end of the tunnel. Eventually spring will come and we'll be able to bear being out in the garage looking for all the things we want. And hopefully by then we will have lived without them so long we won't want them any more and will be able sell them, or give them away. And we're gradually falling into a routine. And I'm slowly beginning to feel comfy in this house. I'm not thinking constantly about the door handles in the old one, and the way the light would stream through the window in the morning, and that certain cobweb over the piano that I always meant to sweep down but never did. My minds eye has slowly been turning to imagine what color the dining room ought to be, and whether we should keep a lot of things in the hallway, or nothing at all. And just now the snow is seriously pouring heavily out of the sky, so I will go and have another whack at those notes, and help Elphine and Alouiscious think of possible clubs to start-a Castle Club, a Book Making Club, A Picnic Club, a Girls Club With No Boys Allowed, or a Coloring Club. I think those were the options. My suggestion of a Memory Work and Reading Club did not fly. Oh well.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Shameless Bragging
Elphine, to the delight of us all, has won a weather coloring contest. Her picture will be shown on the local channel 34 news on Thursday both in the early morning, 6:30, and in the evening, 6. What a triumph.
For those of you who might need it
I coerced Micah, our youth minister, into working out a song for John 1:1-7 in Latin as a help to us since we've been struggling with it. Feel free to make use of it as you need.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Onwards and Upwards
Elphine is making all the beds and everybody else is whining, so I thought I would blog. But as usual, after a busy weekend and a busy week ahead, I'm having a hard time thinking of anything to write about. Basically we do so much of the same things over and over, I'm pretty sure eventually ya'll will get bored. And I'm not at a point, yet, in life, where I can read interesting things and write about them, which would be so edifying for all of us.
I will say that I'm Super Excited about how God has moved and all that he's done and about the new people that are coming to church weekly. It astounds me that we continue to have visitors (people just walking in off the street) in the midst of a big move. Yesterday was technically a 'low' Sunday, given that this week is a school holiday and a lot of people had gone out of town, and we still had 95. A year ago, if you had told me that a 'low' Sunday would involve 95 people bothering to get up and get dressed and come to church and then be cheerful about it, I would have seriously laughed and scoffed and said something unnecessarily sarcastic.
And on top of so much grace and blessing and good things, Matt's cousin, Anne (doesn't she have a beautiful name?) came to be with us for the weekend with her lovely dog, Meesha. I feel all ebullient and christian mushy about the good time we had so I'll spare you, otherwise it would be one long exclamation point. She's such an interesting person and we can't wait for her to come back. Especially Elphine, who wept and wept at her departure.
Alright, its 10am, I need to make some serious breakfast-probably eggs and toast and CC review. And then Matt and I will argue about Who ought to preach at the funeral tomorrow. I think it should definitely be him, and I invite your comments here in support of that thought.
Monday, February 16, 2009
Matt's been on my case to link these photos. Aren't they lovely? And he also wanted to know why I haven't been blogging. And the reason is.............there is no reason. I'm just So Tired......so I'm going to bed. Good Night.
Monday, February 09, 2009
A Little Fuel for a Fire
I really enjoyed this post this morning.
It brought to my attention how well Matt and I work together, and how much he depends on me for, well, lots. I'm not very good at the matching socks and ironed shirts part, but I am able to pick up the slack on pastoral care, when he needs it, or preaching, or liturgy-all, as you know, related to his job. And it IS true that an orderly home is easier for him for all of us. I know its totally counter cultural, but we can't all put ourselves first all the time, and so I highly recommend, for any woman considering it, putting your husband before yourself (after God, of course).
That's all, I'm really supposed to be working on my quarterly report.
It brought to my attention how well Matt and I work together, and how much he depends on me for, well, lots. I'm not very good at the matching socks and ironed shirts part, but I am able to pick up the slack on pastoral care, when he needs it, or preaching, or liturgy-all, as you know, related to his job. And it IS true that an orderly home is easier for him for all of us. I know its totally counter cultural, but we can't all put ourselves first all the time, and so I highly recommend, for any woman considering it, putting your husband before yourself (after God, of course).
That's all, I'm really supposed to be working on my quarterly report.
Saturday, February 07, 2009
Thursday, February 05, 2009
Monday, February 02, 2009
What's Been Amazing
As I said before, its been in my mind some time to write both about what's been really difficult and what's been amazing. Each day, depending on my mood at the time, I've vaguely dabbled at both, but so far today things look a little more cheerful, so that's the direction I'll head.
What's Been Amazing about God
He is Sovereign and his timing is perfect.
A year ago, about the time Gladys was born, God saw fit to put in order our distracted and messy finances. He did this so effectively and miraculously that we were able (by his sovereign grace) to go to Jerusalem in June. We were also able to afford to home school this year with CC which was provided some small structure in the midst of chaos.
This is a bitter and gracious pill to swallow. We've not been under any illusions about the nature of this battle. In 2003, sitting rosily and comfortably on the River Walk in San Antonio, reading with horror the events of GC2003, hitting refresh on T19 every few minutes, we knew clearly and unmistakably that it was the breakup of the church, even our own small corner church, and possibly the loss of our job. And each step that we've taken, sometimes in the dark, sometimes in waveringly dim light, the possibility of loss was as clear as the Gospel itself, bright and clear as the love of Jesus guarding us, moving us forward, protecting us.
I'll be honest, I've always been horribly afraid of this move. I've put all kinds of conditions around it-Please God, let me have this baby. Please God, let me get through the Easter Vigil. Please, God, let my kids be --this old. And finally, PLEASE GOD, let me just do this next 12 weeks of CC In This House, in this school room, in this light, in this order. My prayers became more fervent, every day, because I knew, in the depths of my soul, that God had the power to make me move any time, and that probably it was going to be in these 12 weeks. I don't know how I knew. I didn't have any proof. I just had a sneaking suspicion, one that proved to be Right On.
So my 'worst fears' were realized. But, God is gracious and sovereign and his timing is perfect. And in this case, it meant that we spent a beautiful fall seriously schooling and enjoying life. We went apple picking.
We went to the Opera to see the Three Little Pigs. We went often to the library.
We celebrated Gladys' birthday.
We went trick or treating.
We did hours of work around the kitchen table eating muffins and drinking tea all the time. And then we wrapped it all up with a lavish Thanksgiving Dinner and a week with Matt's parents who (and it still makes me cry to think about it) in amazing gracious generosity and love, gave us their car. The second night they were with us, Matt's dad handed Matt the keys and told us to put all our car seats in it. Matt, not understanding at all, went off to do it and then came back in amazement. The gift of this amazing car (which has heated seats, and which fits us all and is, yes, the car I crashed last week) allowed us to go all together to Chicago to see the birth of the new Province.
After Thanksgiving we took December off from formal school and played and practiced the Christmas Pageant and read books. And finally we celebrated a beautifully heartbreaking Christmas together.
And then, praying as you remember, all the time, I put my school room in order, started school, went to lunch with my friend, and came home to find that the ax was at the root of the tree and we had to get out, Now. So we did. And here we are, three weeks later, really only mourning our kitty, comfortable, warm, starting to pick back up to school, playing knights and princess, cooking, writing and getting back to life.
God is sovereign and his timing is perfect.
Later Part Two:
What's Been Amazing about our Friends and Family
What's Been Amazing about God
He is Sovereign and his timing is perfect.
A year ago, about the time Gladys was born, God saw fit to put in order our distracted and messy finances. He did this so effectively and miraculously that we were able (by his sovereign grace) to go to Jerusalem in June. We were also able to afford to home school this year with CC which was provided some small structure in the midst of chaos.
This is a bitter and gracious pill to swallow. We've not been under any illusions about the nature of this battle. In 2003, sitting rosily and comfortably on the River Walk in San Antonio, reading with horror the events of GC2003, hitting refresh on T19 every few minutes, we knew clearly and unmistakably that it was the breakup of the church, even our own small corner church, and possibly the loss of our job. And each step that we've taken, sometimes in the dark, sometimes in waveringly dim light, the possibility of loss was as clear as the Gospel itself, bright and clear as the love of Jesus guarding us, moving us forward, protecting us.
I'll be honest, I've always been horribly afraid of this move. I've put all kinds of conditions around it-Please God, let me have this baby. Please God, let me get through the Easter Vigil. Please, God, let my kids be --this old. And finally, PLEASE GOD, let me just do this next 12 weeks of CC In This House, in this school room, in this light, in this order. My prayers became more fervent, every day, because I knew, in the depths of my soul, that God had the power to make me move any time, and that probably it was going to be in these 12 weeks. I don't know how I knew. I didn't have any proof. I just had a sneaking suspicion, one that proved to be Right On.
So my 'worst fears' were realized. But, God is gracious and sovereign and his timing is perfect. And in this case, it meant that we spent a beautiful fall seriously schooling and enjoying life. We went apple picking.
We went to the Opera to see the Three Little Pigs. We went often to the library.
We celebrated Gladys' birthday.
We went trick or treating.
We did hours of work around the kitchen table eating muffins and drinking tea all the time. And then we wrapped it all up with a lavish Thanksgiving Dinner and a week with Matt's parents who (and it still makes me cry to think about it) in amazing gracious generosity and love, gave us their car. The second night they were with us, Matt's dad handed Matt the keys and told us to put all our car seats in it. Matt, not understanding at all, went off to do it and then came back in amazement. The gift of this amazing car (which has heated seats, and which fits us all and is, yes, the car I crashed last week) allowed us to go all together to Chicago to see the birth of the new Province.
After Thanksgiving we took December off from formal school and played and practiced the Christmas Pageant and read books. And finally we celebrated a beautifully heartbreaking Christmas together.
And then, praying as you remember, all the time, I put my school room in order, started school, went to lunch with my friend, and came home to find that the ax was at the root of the tree and we had to get out, Now. So we did. And here we are, three weeks later, really only mourning our kitty, comfortable, warm, starting to pick back up to school, playing knights and princess, cooking, writing and getting back to life.
God is sovereign and his timing is perfect.
Later Part Two:
What's Been Amazing about our Friends and Family
Sunday, February 01, 2009
Superbowl Sunday
Matt rustled up a TV so we can watch the Superbowl. After kind of a rough few weeks, we're sitting here Very comfortably arguing about whether or not to leave said TV in the living room. Its one of our favorite arguments, and depending on the state of things, we frequently switch sides in the middle.
Adding to the warm glow was the gift of an Amazing Ham by a local nun. And when I say Amazing, I mean butter-like, bone in, perfect crust.
And 112 people came to church this morning! Had we not roped off fully half of the church, it would have felt disappointingly small (the church seats 400), but because everyone clustered up at the front, it felt packed, because it was.
Let's just be frank, its a Beautiful Church. The light is lovely, the wood work is lovely, the acoustics are lovely. God is so amazing.
In the coming days I hope to finally get to that long lost tag, and also to write two list like posts-one on What's been Really Tough, and one on What's Been Really Amazing.
Adding to the warm glow was the gift of an Amazing Ham by a local nun. And when I say Amazing, I mean butter-like, bone in, perfect crust.
And 112 people came to church this morning! Had we not roped off fully half of the church, it would have felt disappointingly small (the church seats 400), but because everyone clustered up at the front, it felt packed, because it was.
Let's just be frank, its a Beautiful Church. The light is lovely, the wood work is lovely, the acoustics are lovely. God is so amazing.
In the coming days I hope to finally get to that long lost tag, and also to write two list like posts-one on What's been Really Tough, and one on What's Been Really Amazing.
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