A cycle of irony

Irony: (#3) An incongruity between the actual result of a sequence of events and the normal or expected result. - from Merriam Webster's Collegiate Dictionary

I get overwrought, cranky & edgy after I work a nasty night shift. This morning is no exception. I am gritting my teeth with disgust. There's just this disgusting cycle of events. I need to work at Ingalls so that I have health insurance & pay child support.
THEREFORE:
1.In order to work at Ingalls I have to work 12 hr. night shifts
2.In order to work 12 hr. night shifts, I have to get my prescription amphetamines (known as Adderrall) or else I'll fall asleep at work and get fired.
3.In order to get Adderall, I have to pay $20 each & EVERY month to see a psychiatrist.
4.In order to see the psychiatrist I have to get a referral.
& TO GET A REFERRAL I HAVE TO STAY UP AN EXTRA 1 HOUR TO GO TO HIS CLINIC AT 8:15 & GET THE DAMN REFERRAL!!!!!!!!!!!!
What I really need is some weed or hash, which would make me smile a lot more than I am now. You don't need to get a damn referral to smoke weed, you don't need to stay up an hour over & above the 12 hrs of night you already worked. Just take out that sweet old joy herb, put it in the pipe, strike the match, feel the love, and wear a shit-eating grin on your face. I'm a firm believer in the slogan, "better living through chemicals!"
Oh, I know, I need both weed and Adderall. The Adderall for staying up and fulfilling my job at Ingalls, and weed for chilling out when I'm in a foul mood after work. Believe me THC is one of the better chemicals in God's green earth! I'm going to get my referral now, I'm going back to Ingalls @ 8:15 & the only thing keeping me awake on the way there is the anger & disgust I feel.

Hopefully, I'm pissed off enough that I won't fall asleep and run head on into the many semis I meet on the way there. ("When you got off work at 7:15am, why didn't you just stay at Ingalls and get the referral at 8:15 when the Dr.'s ofc opened????" you ask. Well, because I was in such a pissy mood I couldn't bear waiting for an hour holding my dick!

Indiana helps out the 4th

I'm not too crazy about Indiana's conservative politics. They're kind of the South Carolina of the Midwest. But Indiana gets one thing right and that's their policy concerning fireworks. I went east of the border today & went to the Black Cat on Indianapolis Blvd. It was really edifying to see whole families - mothers, fathers, sons & daughters - carrying armfuls of bombs & rockets. I can't stand how growing up Wisconsin banned firecrackers and bottle rockets. All they sold were sparklers and some lame ass smoke bombs.

I move to Illinois in 1989 and it's the same thing. Now we've got these lame, "nervous Nellies", (but to put it far more accurately out-and-out pain in the asses) who sit there and whine, "Ewwww, sparklers can heat up past 500 degrees. My moron son once grabbed a lit sparkler by the wrong end & got 3rd degree burns". So then there's even talk of banning sparklers! LAME!!!!!!!

Anyway, I only bought about $8 worth & got some firecrackers & bottle rockets (because of the "nervous nelly" states I've resided in, I'm a real amateur on fireworks and what's good and what's not). I've gave the cashier $10, & she gave me a dollar and then said she didn't want to make change for 67 cents so she asked if she could throw in about 8 packs of firecrackers. Sure why not? More bang for the buck.