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Monday, February 11th, 2002
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1:12 am
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| Thursday, January 31st, 2002
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7:08 pm
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I've recently become aware that humans have no inherent instincts..
I'm sure of this. Post your arguments..
Everything we do that people classify as instinctual is the result of societies teachings.. even eating.
If a human being were hungry, and was never shown that he has the capability to place particular objects into his mouth, crush them up, and then swallow them for nutrients, he would starve to death.
What we have are urges... like our urge to eat, or our urge to have sex. These aren't instincts because they carry no what I call "knowledge packets" with them... biological knowledge given to us when we're born. Human beings don't know what to do with these urges, they would go on forever never knowing how to satisfy them. Am I right, or what?
Sea turtles, as you all know.. they dig themselves out of the sand after hatching, and head very long distances toward the sea oblivious to instruction. They just do it. This is instinct. A human being would die on its own, we have no survival instincts, no pre-determined checkpoint, nothing.
We have reflexes... our gag reflex, that spot near your patella, the dilating pupil, blinking, breathing... How often do you think about these things... is it not incredible that some parts of your body AREN'T under your control? Reflexes aren't the same as instinct... here... a definition:
An inborn pattern of behavior that is characteristic of a species and is often a response to specific environmental stimuli: the spawning instinct in salmon; altruistic instincts in social animals.
A powerful motivation or impulse.
An innate capability or aptitude: an instinct for tact and diplomacy.
The first is easy... we obviously have no inborn pattern of behavior. Crying is a reflex to hunger, and the experiences of being born. Otherwise, when left alone, a baby would die in no time. It would make no attempts to move, or crawl, or eat.
The other two definitions are tougher to discuss..
A powerful motivation or impulse... someone came in here earlier while I was writing this and we talked about it. They said that hunger is a powerful motivation/impulse when being born. First, it's not a motivation, because there is no goal attributed with the hunger, just an uncontrollable feeling. Second, an impulse is an action performed as a result of an inner force. Impulses in human beings are learned through others. Eating, sex, violence, smiling..
There is only one exception to this that I can think of... crying as a result of hunger. "Crying".. or our "biological alarm" that alerts people that something is wrong. Crying is a reflex.
An innate capability or aptitude... do we have any? Crying could be considered an innate capability... but get this... this just came to me haha.
This idea is hard for me to put into words but I'll try... Let's take this back to the beginnings of human culture. Crying, or "biological alarm" like I said earlier, probably had no significance at all. It isn't even an alarm, but some sort of reaction if anything. This is impossible to prove, but bear with me.. When a baby was fed and his crying stopped, this created a social trend... crying. It's possible. The creation of crying. The first thing a baby unknowlingly learns is that crying = a possible end of its uncomfort. Crying in adults is a mirror of this.
I hope that's somewhat clear... I have to go, I'll write more later...
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(2 comments |comment on this)
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| Wednesday, January 23rd, 2002
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12:31 pm
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Last night I setup a showing of And All That Could Have Been down in our dorm lobby. It turned out way better than I expected... I brought down my big speakers and hooked them up to a fairly large projection TV down there, and we setup couches and chairs... At least 14 or so people showed up and we all thouroughly enjoyed the DVD. Haha, at one point during the climax of La Mer, my amp fried... I had to go get another one, but eventually everything was perfect for the rest of the show.
The response was so positive, that we're probably going to have another showing of it along with some other goodies like their Woodstock 94 performance.
Anyone else out there buy the DVD? What do you think?
I'm very very pleased with my first viewing of it... it couldn't have been any more perfect. I'm really glad I didn't end up watching it alone or with a couple people in my room. Thanks to everyone who came!
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(comment on this)
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| Wednesday, January 9th, 2002
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10:51 am
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Listen to the opening of Tool's song "Third Eye"... it goes something like this: "Drugs have done some good things for us, and if you don't believe this, go get all of your albums, tapes, all your CD's and burn them, 'cause all of those great musicians who made that music that's enhanced your life throughout the years were real fuckin' high on drugs.
This = irony, because if you don't know, now you do: Tool are against drugs, none of them do any kind of drug.
Trent Reznor, one of my favorite musicians of all time is known for his drug phase starting in his early twenties up until the end of the Self Destruct era in his early thirties. He made some incredible music, right? Well, my favorite album happens to be The Fragile - a work created when he was entirely sober and left behind any kind of alcohol and drugs. And it always was my favorite even before I realized this fact..
The point I'm trying to make is obvious. Not that all good musicians don't do drugs, but that they aren't necessary to create something worthwhile and original.
At this age it seems like everyone around you and I does drugs, half of you reading this probably experiment or regularly put drugs into your body... For those of you who don't, what is your reason? It might be the simple obvious fact that drugs like alcohol cut off oxygen to your brain, or smoking destroys your health. For me it is both of these, but it's also very spiritual in a non-religious way; it's a statement of my will to resist temptation that so few people seem to give into so easily. To me, drugs have nothing positive to offer whatsoever. They dull a sharp mind, they further dull an already dull mind to the point of retardation. Submission to drugs immediately puts that drug in the same category as getting sleep, eating, and exercise. It becomes a necessary routine. To all of those out there who do drugs, is this what you want? Drugs are attractive when you're a teen, aren't they? I encourage you to think ahead, you're going to be 40 years old one day if you don't get lung cancer or brain damage. Your chance of survival drops everytime you drink, or 'smoke-out.' On the other hand, your chance of survival increases when you apply yourself to something positive or beneficial. Or maybe you just don't care at all, or you're a hedonist. In that case, do whatever you want and ignore everything I just said.
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(comment on this)
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| Tuesday, January 8th, 2002
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2:09 pm
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| Saturday, January 5th, 2002
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4:44 pm
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squint0r: .
EMperorstuff: ...
squint0r: a
squint0r: b
squint0r: come on
squint0r: a
squint0r: a
squint0r: COME ON
squint0r: a
EMperorstuff: *shoves you*
EMperorstuff: Come on!
squint0r: your cue = b
squint0r: a
EMperorstuff: b
squint0r: c
EMperorstuff: d
squint0r: e
EMperorstuff: f
squint0r: f
squint0r: u suck
EMperorstuff: Cunt.
squint0r: oh
squint0r: i fucked up
squint0r: haha
squint0r: not you
squint0r: a
EMperorstuff: b
squint0r: c
EMperorstuff: d
squint0r: e
EMperorstuff: f
squint0r: g
EMperorstuff: h
squint0r: i
EMperorstuff: j
squint0r: k
EMperorstuff: l
squint0r: m
EMperorstuff: n
squint0r: o
EMperorstuff: p
squint0r: q
EMperorstuff: r
squint0r signed off at 10:11:12 PM.
squint0r signed on at 10:11:15 PM.
squint0r: rate limit
squint0r: haha
EMperorstuff: dog limit
squint0r: writing a song, gotta go
squint0r signed off at 10:11:32 PM.
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(comment on this)
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5:13 am
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I just thought about this, I think it's kind of interesting... I'm going to post random chats every now and then that i've had with people - I've saved every chat i've had on AIM for the past year and a half or so... Whether it's legal or not to post these without the participant's permission doesn't really matter to me but if it happens to be you and you have a problem with it, let me know...
This one's kinda wacky, but... it's *random* !
emperorstuff (4:42:00 PM): if you could live forever would you choose to?
djSirrain (4:42:18 PM): Yeah
djSirrain (4:42:36 PM): suffocating eternally is better than Blankness
djSirrain (4:42:44 PM): i'd get used to it after a century
djSirrain (4:42:51 PM): and throw in a laugh once in a while
emperorstuff (4:42:56 PM): it wouldn't be blankness though
djSirrain (4:42:56 PM): before i die again
djSirrain (4:43:02 PM): Death is blankness
djSirrain (4:43:06 PM): Im sure of it
djSirrain (4:43:12 PM): its like pre-birth
emperorstuff (4:43:16 PM): well, i think death is the opposite of existence
djSirrain (4:43:17 PM): The nothing you don't remember
emperorstuff (4:43:20 PM): and "blankness" wouldn't exist
emperorstuff (4:43:23 PM): it's a pure state of nothing
emperorstuff (4:43:39 PM): it's not even imaginable
emperorstuff (4:43:42 PM): but i think it'd be awesome
djSirrain (4:43:42 PM): a pure state of nothing IS blankness
emperorstuff (4:43:52 PM): yeah but that's like saying black isn't a color
djSirrain (4:44:04 PM): BLANK
emperorstuff (4:44:05 PM): people say black is an absense of color
emperorstuff (4:44:06 PM): fuck that..
emperorstuff (4:44:25 PM): the very fact that these words exists makes them something, something we get an idea of
emperorstuff (4:44:46 PM): blankness can't be conciously rendered
djSirrain (4:44:46 PM): yeah but the word to describe a space where SOMETHING is supposed to go is called Blank
djSirrain (4:44:51 PM): no one has ever seen a blank
emperorstuff (4:45:04 PM): well we're just going by different definitions, but i know what you mean..
emperorstuff (4:45:07 PM): and i want blankess, asap
djSirrain (4:45:24 PM): You get it sometimes, during sleep
djSirrain (4:45:28 PM): the dreams you don't remember
djSirrain (4:45:38 PM): Do you rememebr what it was like, before you were born?
djSirrain (4:45:59 PM): I try hard to think of it
djSirrain (4:46:25 PM): but its pure blank
emperorstuff (4:46:30 PM): well. i believe, even when the brain is 'off' things are still happening
djSirrain (4:46:44 PM): Yeah, im sure
emperorstuff (4:46:50 PM): so the brain doesn't matter
emperorstuff (4:47:07 PM): but it's impossible to think outside of it
djSirrain (4:47:12 PM): But.. realizations. sometimes your brain does stuff to make you realize something
emperorstuff (4:47:17 PM): it's a secondary organ
djSirrain (4:47:43 PM): What do you think about SOULS?
emperorstuff (4:49:22 PM): i want to believe it, but i don't
djSirrain (4:49:26 PM): Souls may be fake, it's still something I'm unsure of
djSirrain (4:49:58 PM): I'd like to find a way, to release my soul
emperorstuff (4:50:02 PM): well if i was a dickhead philosopher
emperorstuff (4:50:03 PM): i'd say
djSirrain (4:50:04 PM): above my body
emperorstuff (4:50:07 PM): "you can't be sure of anything"
emperorstuff (4:50:14 PM): "what tha fuck is being 'sure' ?"
emperorstuff (4:50:20 PM): "who the fuck..."
djSirrain (4:50:44 PM): Those type of philosophers provoke thought... they don't provide any knowledge though
djSirrain (4:51:01 PM): Just good questions, sometimes
djSirrain (4:52:15 PM): What are you sure about?
emperorstuff (4:52:56 PM): nothing
emperorstuff (4:53:06 PM): everything can be skewed in an instant
djSirrain (4:53:09 PM): Are you sure?
emperorstuff (4:53:10 PM): my whole perception of reality
emperorstuff (4:53:13 PM): if i got hit in the head with a brick
emperorstuff (4:53:15 PM): everything would change
emperorstuff (4:53:23 PM): i can't even imagine
emperorstuff (4:53:33 PM): life would take on an entirely new form
emperorstuff (4:53:51 PM): for the suicidal philosopher like myself
emperorstuff (4:53:55 PM): there's no such thing as knowledge
djSirrain (4:54:06 PM): How so
emperorstuff (4:54:11 PM): there's nothing but fucking confusion, that i'm sitting here using my robot hands to press this shit
emperorstuff (4:54:17 PM): and that there's glowing junk all around me
emperorstuff (4:54:37 PM): and all of it could be nothing
emperorstuff (4:54:42 PM): just my 'imagination'
emperorstuff (4:54:43 PM): whatever that is
djSirrain (4:55:07 PM): You're dissecting shit too much
djSirrain (4:55:21 PM): ofcourse you won't find knowledge that way
djSirrain (4:55:29 PM): everything is all about the big picture
djSirrain (4:55:52 PM): I could ask my self what knowledge is, all my life
djSirrain (4:55:58 PM): I would never ever find the answer
djSirrain (4:56:12 PM): The english language makes up these words
djSirrain (4:56:15 PM): to confuse us
djSirrain (4:56:22 PM): take our minds away from the big picture
djSirrain (4:56:37 PM): of course it means something
djSirrain (4:56:47 PM): but not too satisfying, for people like us
emperorstuff (4:57:09 PM): big picture of what?
emperorstuff (4:57:16 PM): nothing's satisfying
emperorstuff (4:57:33 PM): the shitty weird thing is
emperorstuff (4:57:39 PM): this is the same mind that enjoys life so much
emperorstuff (4:57:43 PM): but wants to fucking end it all
djSirrain (4:57:48 PM): big picture of ______
emperorstuff (4:57:49 PM): and questions everything about it
emperorstuff (4:58:00 PM): why does a "big picture of ___" matter?
djSirrain (4:58:01 PM): Yeah I know that feeling
djSirrain (4:58:19 PM): It's what we are after
djSirrain (4:58:26 PM): we were designed that way
djSirrain (4:58:41 PM): don;t forget we are someone else's invention
emperorstuff (4:58:46 PM): what if the big picture is destroying everything?
djSirrain (4:58:52 PM): Good.
emperorstuff (4:58:53 PM): that'd be cool
emperorstuff (4:58:54 PM): haha
emperorstuff (4:58:59 PM): it's gonna happen, of course..
emperorstuff (4:59:00 PM): but
emperorstuff (4:59:03 PM): what if there is no big picture
djSirrain (4:59:21 PM): That can be true, but I highly doubt it
djSirrain (5:01:00 PM): Is it really Davis's birthday?
djSirrain (5:01:38 PM): What did you think about ENDER?
emperorstuff (5:03:04 PM): pj ,u
emperorstuff (5:03:06 PM): yeah it is
emperorstuff (5:03:09 PM): oh my god.. look at this
emperorstuff (5:03:10 PM): hahaha
djSirrain (5:03:17 PM): What time are you guys going out
emperorstuff (5:03:19 PM): Ginger4212 (5:01:51 PM): man, you're depressing as hell
emperorstuff (5:02:00 PM): sorry : (
Ginger4212 (5:02:08 PM): you're going to make me cry
Ginger4212 (5:02:13 PM): and that's not a joke
emperorstuff (5:02:20 PM): i'm not trying to hurt you
Ginger4212 (5:02:21 PM): I've been close enough all day
Ginger4212 (5:02:33 PM): I think you may just push me over the edge
emperorstuff (5:03:44 PM): this is what i said before
djSirrain (5:03:44 PM): I'd like someone to push me
emperorstuff (5:03:45 PM):
Ginger4212 (5:00:24 PM): well...I love Simon
Ginger4212 (5:00:30 PM): I think he's my reason for living
emperorstuff (5:00:44 PM): yeah, but in the big picture... it's meaningless to love someone
emperorstuff (5:01:02 PM): and the only reason you 'love' someone is because you've discovered a compatible male to mate with
emperorstuff (5:01:20 PM): and it brings a state of euphoria, because you've accomplished what you were designed to do
emperorstuff (5:01:29 PM): it's like a treat, good job
emperorstuff (5:01:32 PM): you know?
emperorstuff (5:01:38 PM): that's why there is taste in food
emperorstuff (5:01:41 PM): to reward you for eating
Ginger4212 (5:01:44 PM): so you're telling me that I'm not really in love...that it's all an illusion
emperorstuff (5:01:45 PM): otherwise we'd starve and die
emperorstuff (5:01:48 PM): that's why there's an orgasm
emperorstuff (5:01:51 PM): we wouldn't pro-create
djSirrain (5:04:57 PM): I like that
djSirrain (5:05:24 PM): I like that I've found someone worth talking to, for life
emperorstuff (5:06:47 PM): yeah, a fucking negative dude who wants to work out
emperorstuff (5:06:54 PM): so he can have an amazing offspring with a suitable female counterpart
emperorstuff (5:06:57 PM): and carry on his legacy
emperorstuff (5:07:01 PM): toward nuclear winter
djSirrain (5:07:01 PM): Hahah yeah
djSirrain (5:07:21 PM): Hey man, where can I find a self-destructing planet?
djSirrain (5:07:29 PM): You know what..
djSirrain (5:07:34 PM): It may just be fucking worth it
djSirrain (5:07:36 PM): Whatever though
djSirrain (5:07:48 PM): It's kinda sad, in its own way... The worth of things
djSirrain (5:08:09 PM): I'm glad its that way though
djSirrain (5:08:15 PM): It makes me so fucking happy
djSirrain (5:08:19 PM): That I can't understand it
djSirrain (5:09:08 PM): It's true joy, my inside wants to cry, because an answer to such a paradox would overwhelm a universe over and over
emperorstuff (5:09:35 PM): same here..
djSirrain (5:09:42 PM): I piss, I shower, I work out, I never laugh anymore though
emperorstuff (5:09:44 PM): that was my argument against religion
emperorstuff (5:09:50 PM): that i'm in love with the fact that we can't know
emperorstuff (5:09:57 PM): and idon't want anything that tries to explain it all
emperorstuff (5:09:59 PM): because it ruins the beauty
emperorstuff (5:10:03 PM): but deep down, i want to know, haha
djSirrain (5:10:04 PM): Yeah exactly
djSirrain (5:10:17 PM): Yeah but if you didn't wanna know deep down, then it wouldnt be beautiful
djSirrain (5:10:23 PM): every part of it, counts
djSirrain (5:10:34 PM): The fucking dirt on our nose, counts
djSirrain (5:11:11 PM): I'm a fucking toy!
djSirrain (5:11:39 PM): Heres the best example I have come up with
djSirrain (5:12:18 PM): We are trying to draw the face of a person, only by hearing their voice, and nothing more
djSirrain (5:12:38 PM): We have to learn everything about acoustics first
djSirrain (5:12:42 PM): how they bounce
djSirrain (5:14:23 PM): and try to determine if we can make a good recreation through soundwave refraction
djSirrain (5:14:35 PM): then theres other things we have to consider
djSirrain (5:14:59 PM): soundwaves are only vibrations to our ear drums
djSirrain (5:15:07 PM): how do we know if we are flawed
djSirrain (5:15:26 PM): or if the wave itself has been manipulated before it reaches your ear
djSirrain (5:15:42 PM): the fucking face, let me see it!
djSirrain (5:18:11 PM): Hey Glynn told me about Davis's B-Day
emperorstuff (5:18:35 PM): oh my god... depression city
emperorstuff (5:18:39 PM): i just brought this up with my dad
emperorstuff (5:18:41 PM): what a mistake
emperorstuff (5:18:43 PM): i dunno why i do that
djSirrain (5:18:48 PM): Did you read my example?
emperorstuff (5:18:55 PM): it pretty much ends with him saying "you should worry about your grades next term"
djSirrain (5:18:57 PM): Look into it
djSirrain (5:19:05 PM): Ugh!!
emperorstuff (5:19:07 PM): yeah i read it
emperorstuff (5:19:10 PM): it was amazing, haha
djSirrain (5:19:20 PM): I hate when people do that
djSirrain (5:19:38 PM): Try to conclude a serious topic with a joke or a relationship to a NOT SO SERIOUS stop
djSirrain (5:20:36 PM): "Yeah religion is a tough thing to understand... but maybe you just understand youre room needs cleaning right onw"
djSirrain (5:21:11 PM): I told ricky I'd see vanilla sky with him tonite...
djSirrain (5:21:16 PM): itll be done by 9
djSirrain (5:21:35 PM): So if you guys are still hanging out, let me know.
djSirrain (5:21:44 PM): Then afterwards, we will go workout
djSirrain (5:22:49 PM): I'm glad there are people in this world I hate
djSirrain (5:23:09 PM): Helps bring out the contrast
djSirrain (5:23:26 PM): Did you read the thing about tonite?
djSirrain (5:23:28 PM): Is that cool?
emperorstuff (5:23:42 PM): yeah definitely
emperorstuff (5:23:47 PM): i really want you to see that movie
djSirrain (5:24:15 PM): Awesome
djSirrain (5:24:38 PM): Let Glynn know, as well, he left telling me he wants us to be together tonite
djSirrain (5:25:09 PM): I'm in the shower, ranger dude!
emperorstuff (5:27:07 PM): Oo wee
djSirrain (5:29:13 PM): oh yeah and one more thing
djSirrain (5:29:44 PM): make sure you write down any good example's of the big picture
emperorstuff (5:29:54 PM): (^)
djSirrain (5:29:56 PM): anything at all, you slightly think of
djSirrain (5:30:08 PM): alright?
emperorstuff (5:33:30 PM): ... ... KAY!
djSirrain (5:33:43 PM): get fucked up
djSirrain (5:33:49 PM): ill see you tonite
djSirrain (5:33:51 PM): ~
djSirrain direct connection is closed (5:34:14 PM).
ba dum dum dum, ching! dum dum... CHING!! ba ba dum... ... dum CHING!!! CHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh, don't read that.
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(3 comments |comment on this)
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| Wednesday, January 2nd, 2002
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2:48 am
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| Monday, December 10th, 2001
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6:18 pm - nola
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I'm back in LR for winter break... I'm probably going to be getting a job at Community Bakery soon - I need cash for some audio equipment and computer upgrades..
Glynn and Davis stayed over on Friday night and we played PS2 and went out and saw the war movie with Owen Wilson - I thought it was pretty awesome... kinda corny but still entertaining. Oh before I forget... LORD of the fucking RINGS - Dec 19th. Oh my god.
Well, the next morning we kinda sat around not doing much so we got a few things (like my dad's new mini-dv camera) and drove to New Orleans. Being my first time driving there we made 1 or 2 wrong turns, but we arrived - at about 3 a.m.
From then until 8 in the morning we explored, laughed so hard, I got my arm twisted by a bouncer at one point, and we interacted with dozens of homeless people. We've got most of it on tape, too... New Orleans is a god damn blast, oh man. We're going to go back really soon... It's probably the filthiest place i've ever been, and the French Quarter is just nasty (Bourbon street) but it was really interesting and a great place to do what we do.
If you're wondering, yeah I did keep an eye out for Nothing Studios and Reznor's home, but I don't know the addresses by heart or anything - and no, I didn't see them.. maybe some other time.
Here is the first video-related thing i've ever done.. it's kind of a mess since I only did one edit of it and I've never done this before but it's a good overview of a some things that happened... (11 megs) http://www.spiritaxe.com/pete/video/nola.zip
Obviously inspired by the and all that could have been trailer...
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(comment on this)
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| Monday, December 3rd, 2001
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7:48 pm
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It's finals week, i'm studying... in the meantime i'm working on this song, it's probably the longest one i've done as of yet. IM me if you're interested in hearing it..
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(comment on this)
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| Thursday, November 15th, 2001
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2:29 pm
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I bought Tony Hawk 3 and Metal Gear Solid 2... two of the finest games i've ever owned. Roomate is playing MGS2 right now, a bunch of people are over just wide-eyed at its depth and beauty. We have a very nice living room area now... a huge entertainment center, and now a suede couch and carpet. Our door is open all the time if you want to stop by. Martin 420. Lots of fun, guys.
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(comment on this)
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| Tuesday, November 13th, 2001
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8:45 pm
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What a great day / week... Last weekend was awesome. I went to LR and went with a bunch of people to this abandoned asylum in Hot Springs... pretty scary on the outside, and inside... I guess... i'm just hard to scare. But it was fun anyway, being outside and in the dark, haha. I'm going to get my drums tomorrow.. to bring them to Hendrix. I've arranged a place to keep them with the music professor... ahh. There's this set of drums belonging to someone who doesn't even go here down in the basement of the music hall... he doesn't know it, but i've been playing them every night for the past week around 11.. heh heh. My first exposure to double-bass... I'm getting the hang of it really quick... been adding some metal-ish bass rolls to some of my favorites like Down In It and The Beautiful People, hahaha... I can finally play some Tool now, too. Our first band practice (oh yeah. i'm the drummer in a band) is this Saturday, we're going to be playing: Tool - Opiate, Red Hot CP - My Lovely Man, NIN - Head Like a Hole, and some Lit song... eventually stuff we've, i've, been writing. Everyone in the band wants a keyboardist, so that will happen too, eventually, cool yeah?
Metal Gear Solid 2 comes out on Thursday... a bunch of us are going to Walmart at midnight to get it... mmmm.
I bought Grand Theft Auto 3, it's the greatest game, I love sniping cops!
I'm going to put up a little site where i'm going to post some music a friend and I have been working on, if you're interested. It's somewhat basic stuff, but we lack the hardware at this point in time. You'll enjoy it, though... so much potential.
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(comment on this)
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| Wednesday, October 24th, 2001
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9:17 am
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Man, you guys are all bombs, and i'm the last hero.
Keep me aqua, for I am not responsible when playboys get original. Remind my dad that i'm just into lawyers, incase his cells come up out and trap us all without love. Please baby, I'm just twenty psychos trying to weep. Do you like my serious side, do you like my serious side? Denny me this, I made this. Two of my friends help me laugh. After I hit rock bottom, I think i'll claw my way to the top, with blood in my hair.
current mood: pei
current music: Big Waahh - waaaahh!! (deconstructed mix)
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(comment on this)
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| Sunday, October 21st, 2001
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10:35 am
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Reality does not exist in the ordinary sense of the word exist, nor in the ordinary sense of the word reality, but in ordinary words, reality means that which exists, so that to say reality exists is a tautology, but that does not define what exists as reality, namely that even if reality were an illusion, that would be reality, in reality.
Reality is lame juice, i'm the boss. Last call - old mall, stay with a middle man. Remind my friends that I made a reminds my all we're resting out, alert! EnSon EnSon, how many old old origins found my home again. Steak knives, old wifes, 9 cats, elements, practice, essentials of infinity, John Locke, knight sweat.
Guys i'm tied down. In your face!
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(comment on this)
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| Tuesday, October 16th, 2001
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2:08 am
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Finally saw Tool live...
I wish Adam and Justin would move around more...
I thought Maynard's place on stage was interesting, but he's a shy guy I hear, haha.
Danny Carey, you asshole. Your talent sickens me. Bastard.
Contortion! Woo!!! Naked contortion... w0w! Amazing stuff... especially the hanging upside down for 15 minutes - wtf?
Great show... crowd sucked.
When I got there I met my college friend's friends - then I ran into Clyde of all people and we kinda stuck together. I saw a bunch of people, wow... Alyssa, Jeff from Hendrix and a bunch of other people from Hendrix whose names escape me. Pit was naaasty. Stink sweat heat purity. Lots of pressure on the ol' ribcage, some fucker bit my shoulder once. By the end of The Grudge I was front-center second row... this dick infront of me had his hands rested up on his head obstructing my view of ... everyone on stage pretty much. I asked him to put his arms down and he sneered and ignored me... ha, ok... when the "moshing" (it was pathetic, like a sea of people falling over) began I managed to shove the guy out of my way and get up on the railing right in the middle for the rest of the show. Muhahaha.
I'm tired, and i've got some kickass NIN concert video bootlegs to watch..
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| Monday, October 8th, 2001
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4:23 pm
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Jenna you kool-ass bitch.
We're going to cross paths, oh yeah.
Glad I got to talk to you, ss'been awhile.
If I had only gone to Interlochen instead of Hendrix.
I'm one of about 3 music majors in the entire college... we have one recital a week on average.
Damnit, I'm in a really bad mood for the first time ever.
Another first - I left my checking card in the ATM yesterday while in a hurry. I got a call from someone I work with on the school paper saying someone she knows saw it sticking out of the ATM - phew - what a relief. Nah, he left it there, and now it's gone so I canceled it. But that's not why i'm in a bad mood, incidents like these never affect me...
The only thing that can bring about this mood is unexplainable! There's a cloud over my head and i'm trying to ignore it because I don't know where it came from but who gives a fuck, it'll be gone by tonight... piano liaison.
Someone called, they found my card...
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| Sunday, October 7th, 2001
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4:38 am
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First time i've been up this late since May... It's funny because I have to go to swim practice in a half hour. Bye everyone, i'm going to drown.
Pete adores these websites:
http://www.howstuffworks.com (read it all sometime)
http://www.choppingblock.org (anyone can relate to this guy)
http://www.videogames.com (i haven't had time for games in several months, but I still keep up on everything, you should too!)
Tool in 8 days! Seems a lot of people I know are going to be there, maybe we'll run into eachother, yeah?
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| Wednesday, October 3rd, 2001
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3:28 pm
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4 hrs of swimming a day. I HATE chlorine water. Breathing in water sucks, I do it at least once or twice a practice not on purpose.
I went to Little Rock last weekend and brought my icons with me to check out my dorm and the rest of campus... they got to me a lot of the people I hang out with here and a group of us went to Waffle House and then hung out in my room and listened to music and took pictures. There aren't really any fun places in Conway... I only leave to pick up stuff at Walmart, go to the music store, or go to UCA. 4 out of 5 days of the school week i'm on campus...
Hendrix has a bunch of pianos to practice on, I only like one of them. I hear there's a grand piano in the basement, blah blah.
This weekend i'm going to UCA to play with a band, finally.
Fragility DVD is out December 4th. Certain Hendrix students are very very anxious.
"college cam" renovated/updated!
Gotta write a paper... <3
current mood:  sore
current music: Tweaker - microsize boy
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| Friday, September 21st, 2001
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10:54 am
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Aw man, mah ginkgo spirit.
My roommate and I have started taking ginkgo biloba... it prevents alzheimers and improves memory and concentration, maybe!! Man, college is easy, haha. Doing your work isn't really a chore anymore and it seems like I always have a few hours to relax and read in my room, then I have like infinite time to do whatever on campus or go into random people's dorms and hangout all night.
Swimming practice started yesterday... we swim for 2 hours - non stop - everyday at 3 pm... There's this other guy on the team named Peter who's been swimming since he was 8 and he's the best on the team for sure... He's been giving me a lot of advice concerning training for swimming, which a lot different than martial arts. It's not as difficult but it just takes longer.
Oh yeah, a couple days ago they had this big tub of Jello outside and a slip and slide, that was fire!~! I got it in my FASE#!
I'm going to Tool in Memphis with some people I met here.. Oct 16.
I got this cool string of lights at Walmart, I wrapped them around my bed posts above my desk... you can kinda see them in some of the pics under my 'college cam.'
G0TTA G0!
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| Wednesday, September 19th, 2001
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2:58 am
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We had one of the biggest freshman events tonight... the Shirt and Tails teaser...
Basically, shirt and tails is when the guys in the dorms wear a dress shirt and their boxers, and do a performance infront of the girl's dorms.... the "teaser" we did tonight is basically the same thing but absent of any faculty, and much much much raunchier. It went awesome, of course our dorm took all, we rocked. I can barely talk from yelling so much and I have bruises all over my body from the dancing/rolling on the brick walkways. We wore white shirts which were personally designed (ex. phone/room numbers, innuendo... mine was voted the best, i'll try to get a pic of it... it's ripped because we ripped our shirts off after our last performance, but hey, i'm a bone clown.)
Haha, college is so stupid. Most of the people here drink or do something similar.. but at least the classes are awesome. Today I got to do some swimming exercise and tomorrow is our first practice..
Oh yeah, Hendrix food R0X! So many choices... pancakes, waffles, sausage, scrambled/fried eggs, bacon, pizza, hamburgers, salad, pasta, soups, fruits, soy patties, chicken, stir fry, fries, hot dogs, rices, cereals... and dinner is usually different every night. I didn't have any today but I think it was baked potatoes and roast beef or something.
It's so late, I only have French tomorrow though..
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