Saturday, February 23rd, 2002
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2:30 am - I know you all are going to kill me
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Friday, February 22nd, 2002
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5:39 pm - yes, but name one other.
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why do thin mints taste so good?? I can eat and eat and eat them... even if I'm full, I can eat the, because they're minty, and,.... I don't know. I just can.
I am happy that it is weekend time! woot woot!
I wish that I had more friends to do things with. haha.. but the ones I have are just so damn great, and the potential ones I meet are just so damn.. unpatient.
I got to wrap myself up like a present today! only because the shirt I wore tied up the front, and was missing the string.. so I used that ribbon stuff used for presents to tie it up. haha.. I'm such a dork
why do all my anonymous comments make no sense??
current mood: bad!
current music: no use for a name
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Thursday, February 21st, 2002
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3:41 pm - stripping
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Don't you hate when..
all you want to do is curl up into a ball with lots n lots of blankets and hot cocoa and drink it until you fall asleep for awhile....
but you can't because you have to work??
*sigh*
the only thing bad about my work is the pay and the fact that I can't be lazy when I want to.
besides that I'm fine..
I got a pretty new coursette for only 5 dollars! and this really cool red and black lacy thing for 5, and this awesome sheer tank top for 7.. it was amazing.. haha.. I love it!
Nonchalant is having it's first show! I'm so excited! It's a talant show tho.. so it's not a big thing or anything, but it's still cool, and I am still excited for it.
that means: everyone that reads this is invited to it! (I'll get into the details when I know them)
current mood:  tired
current music: toad the wet sprocket!
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Sunday, February 17th, 2002
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9:10 pm - unlocked doors
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so ALL the shows I was planning on going to this weekend were non existent in the life of me. hah.
friday: Lisboa
--> laura balied last minute.. and it was too late for me to get a ticket and a ride to see Anti Flag.
today: Chinese Happy
--> me and christy got WAY LOST and drove around for 3 hours until we found the place, and then it was too late.. so we went home.
haha.... oh well.. shit happens i guess.
i miss stefani.. I havn't hung out with her in a long time it seems like.. *sigh* but we're hanging out tomorrow.. and youth group is tomorrow!
I love it.. I love being there.. it just makes everything seem alrihgt, and I am just happy there.
current mood:  disappointed
current music: Nuclear Rabbit -- sad boy
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Friday, February 15th, 2002
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2:06 am - metaphorically speaking....
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soooo Valentines day wasn't as big of a let down as I thought. Me and Christy got ice cream cake with our names on it!! it was very good.
hah.. and we bitched about crazy past stalkers that we've seemed to both have the same experiences with.. which was odd..
then we ate at Big Boy, and guess who was there?? MEGHAN. it's always .. indifferent .. to see her. I'm always surprised.. always really happy.. always hopeful.. and always depressed! hah.. so yeah
You know what is an excellent movie?? The Dead Poets Society. I absolutely love that movie. it is wonderful.
Sometimes I begin to think that I miss certain people.. which I mean, I do.. I do. But I think I just miss a certain THING more than the actual people. hehh.. so sad. so sad.
Maybe if I was more strait forward and upfront about it all.. it wouldn't be as hard to come across.
(because I'm sure that really made sense to anyone that read that..)
current mood:  determined
current music: nofx
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Wednesday, February 13th, 2002
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1:06 pm - lick your lips
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breaks.. what can you say? they're wonderful.
I am absolutely enjoying every second that is free of academic stress... *ahhh*
Yesterday I hung out with Doug, and we got coffee.. I miss him so much! It had been months since we last hung out. He is such a cool guy.. love him! There's only a few people that you can sit down with after months of not talking and just have thee most in depth conversation about.. everything. hah.. it was very cool.
today, I am expecting to be lazy for the most part, then head into work to be lazy and make money at the same time. hopefully they will not make me do stock. I hate that.
Friday is Lisboa! woo woo. me laura and andy are going, which is really cool.. I'm excited.. and I get to see mah sistah! too bad I have a hair appointment and bass lesson the next morning, or I'd just stay with her... but then I'd have to get up at the ass crack of dawn to get home in time. oh well.
ok that's it
current mood: lazy
current music: reel big fish~ skatanic
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Saturday, February 9th, 2002
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4:44 pm - older and far away
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so work today was insane.. I did not stop working at all the entire time I was there. It felt like christmas again.. just no santa's outside ringing bells. And no presents. :(
People can be really surprising. And other poeple know the exact right thing to say to you in ever situation. If you ever find someone like that, even if they're are out of the range of *the norm* then fuck societys standards and have yourself a true friend.
I say one of the the poeple I am closet too is 38 years old. And I don't care! They are there for me, and I feel completly and utterly like I could share anything with that person. (except for sex stuff.. cuz that would be WIERD to talk about that.... and I wouldn't.. ick ick!)
would society approve? no.
would they assume? yes.
Well.. not everyone. I'm just blowing the whole thing out of proportion to get my point accross. Do you ever do that sometimes? exaggerate something because if you didn't, no one would have the slightest understanding of the importance of it??
I have had to sneeze ALL DAY.. it's pissing me off!!
thank goodness for braek. I love breaks. so much time.. I hope that I can go down to florida to visit my grandma.. lately I've been feeling like if I wait until summer to visit her, it might be too late. It's scarey when you start to think that. I mean.. I'm not that close to her.. but I love her, she's my grandma, and I want to get to know her more before she dies. She's such a quirky lady! haha. I bet that if she lived in Michigan I'd know her a lot better.
3000 miles can really make a difference.
current mood:  anxious
current music: goldfinger~ my head
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Sunday, February 3rd, 2002
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6:09 pm - relatively close to yesterday, a mild strech for tomorrow.
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So today was a very cool day.
I woke up, and had breakfast with my dad at Leo's. They have EXCELLENT Potato Pancakes. Every time I eat them, they just get better and better.
Then the new episode of Buffy was on. It was very good.
Then I went to band practice. met 2 new people, and 2 new parents. It was all very cool. I think we have the potential to become really talanted, so I hope it works out. I think it will.. we all seem excited and happy and not about to quit.
I love playing music.. love it!
And soon I will cook my mom some din din, and then I will watch a movie over at stefs.. and maybe even do some laundry!
So I really like today
and I like a lot of people too...
Sometime I think that people are hopeless and jerks.. but then other times I think that people are wonderful and I want to get to know every single one that I come accross. Most the time it's a combonation.. but at the moment I feel the latter.
it just may be the day
current mood:  energetic
current music: A.F.I. Days of the Pheonix
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Saturday, February 2nd, 2002
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9:52 am - and while you're here... step into my room
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so yesterday I thought I worked.. but I didn't. So I went shopping with my manager instead. haha... it was wierd sort of.. hanging out with her out side of work.. but not really.. hm. oh well. then she drove me home and borrowed my Buffy tape.. and got to see my BEAUTIFUL cut outS of Buffy. :)
then I saw Life as A House with Christy. good movie! I liked it. It was different. (well, at least from the movies I usualy watch) and then we went to Coney, because we were very hungry.
ever notice that when the snow turns to ice.. if it's still smoothe it sort of looks like computer animation?? it's fucked up. 'specially at night..
and now all I have to do is see A Beautiful Mind with Jason, and I'll be all set on movies (except Out Cold with stefani..)
and oh! I start bass lessons again today with rob! I'm happy! it's been awhile. hah... I hope keith works saturday mornings.. he's a cool guy. Discounts and conversations. haha.. can't get much better.
and my goal: Learn how to Syncranize Swim
current mood: determined
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Monday, January 28th, 2002
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3:35 pm - looking at you till the end of time
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Nickys was lotsa fun. We ate good food. We went to good stores. And we saw a great band. They're local, and they don't have a CD yet.. but they seriuosly rocked it. Lisboa
www.lisboarock.com if you're interested... they're sort of punk/indie/rock. I dunno. I'm bad at that sort of thing. it's music.
I absolutely love my sister.
and it's spirit week at school. haha.. it's grown from *idiotic* to *a waste of time* to *amusing* and I think I might actually dress up for a day or 2 of it. But seeing Ryan George chasing a donut with his mouth wide open is something I will never forget!
tonight is youth group. that is always something to look forward to. Not only because it's the best time in the week and I love being there... but because I know that the next day is Buffy!
I want to go to stefs now. I hope my mommy lets me :) (she's still not over the whole anti-wentzels thing...) SO, I am going to try asking. latah
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Friday, January 25th, 2002
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10:08 pm - breathing in life that used to be mine
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ever notice how some poeple can be completly straight forward and there and how others can be completly 2-faced and lost? I've been noticing this more and more and the more I see it, the more I wish I was ignorant to this fact.
For once I'd like to come out ahead. For once I'd like the people who deserve to feel horrible feel horrible. Why is it that how nice you are and how you deal with situations don't matter unless it involves the foundation of drugs? And why is it that some people assume that you are stupid when really it's just excitement or happiness? And why do you feel the need to place the honor of hearing it on the people that don't need to hear it, just the people who are so blindly hanging on your every move that they WILL hear it??
the expression nice guys finish last is becoming clearer every day.
*sigh*
the you pretent like nothing's wrong, and get confused as to why I roll my eyes and walk away.
Then everything stops.. and I question myself for feeling this way over someone like you. it allows me to see my true friends shine through and the fake ones wither away.
I like when everything stops.
current mood: uncomfortable
current music: AFI~ morning star
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Sunday, January 20th, 2002
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3:11 pm - the misconceptions of harmonizing beauties
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really a pitty.. heh
so my mother is severly psychotic. Not even an understatement.. I think she has severe psychological problems. so overworked and over-reacting to little tiny things that dont even matter!! I mean-- yeah, we all know that some people are ass holes, and will continue to be an ass hole.. i don't care, mother. I was just simply telling you the ass-hole story so you could get a kick, not an annurism.
leason learned: think even less about what people think of you.. it does no good on your phsyical and mental health.
sooo.. I thought I worked today, I go there and they all stare at me like a crazy girl, which I am, because I really didn't work... crazy.
so I go home, and I want to go to the chinese happy show.. but it's pretty much dependant on my father right now. which makes my chance slim, because when can I really depend on my father. oh well tho.
now I'm just distressed about how stefani is going to get home.... this is terrible.
current mood: distressed
current music: Less Than Jake~ hows my driving
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Wednesday, January 16th, 2002
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3:37 pm - the *ahhh* in cops
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well I have my last final tomorrow.. thank goodness.. and thank goodness that it's Toma's english final. heh.
I watched a Vanilla Ice movie today. it was realllllll cheesy. but coo' az ice, man.
I think for now, I am going to treat myself to a nice nap.. maybe followed by some good episodes of Buffy... then maybe some food. I am devoti-- *ring of the phone*
waittt... I can't now. my work jsut called me in AGAIN. damnit. fuck fuck shit ass hole goddamnit BITCHES
current mood:  bitchy
current music: parka kings
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Sunday, January 13th, 2002
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8:21 pm - hate a fill. lover: a SIMMple way of asking what's right?
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forgetfullness is a very bad quality in a person.
this would be the worst person in the world:
controlling
forgetful
a mooch
loud
obnoxious
ugly
perverted
never looks you in the eye
over-analyzes everything
talks down to you
gives out high standards
Some of those things are okay in a person. Everyone has flaws. I mean-- I have some of those things. for one: I over analyze everything. that doens't make for a good person, and it also doesn't make a person feel any better sometimes.
But I guess everything will be alright. Everything is always going to be alright. Maybe not all at once... but when has anything been alright all at once?
Maybe in a dream it is. because.. in dreams you truely have no recollection of the day or days you just had. At least not in any of mine.
I need to get out of here
current mood: there
current music: system of a down
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Saturday, January 12th, 2002
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2:04 pm - scattered locks of hair
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this weekend was much needed.
Friday I had a test in Alg 2 that was worth 25% of my grade (yes, 25% as in more than the final... fucked up!) I had a chemistry test too.. which I studied for about an hour and a half, and only got an goddamn B -.. I think somethings wrong wtih me. Either me or the retarded tests that I used to get As on all the time. THEN I had a government test. Which I studied for about... 8937507 hours. I think I did alright on it tho.. I don't know if I did tho. I guess I will see on Monday.
after school I was just in a bad mood. And by the end of the day, when my mother made me come home at like 10 because she accused me of not telling her what I was doing even tho I did.. and all I was doing was sitting at stefanis house.
But after my entire day passed and I was stuck home for the rest of the night.. after all the stress and all the frustration.. I thought about everything in my life and just started bawling my eyes out. Then i went to sleep hopeing it would help. And 13 hours later I woke up not exactly refreshed, but not feeling as down as I was before.
And the new episode of Buffy is on tonight. so at least I have SOMETHING to look forward to..
current mood:  blah
current music: chinese happy
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Monday, January 7th, 2002
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9:53 am - bring home the bacon
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I hate government. And I really don't do any of it... oh well tho
James called me. : /
nothing is interesting at all...
me and stef saw Corky Romano-- stupidest movie I've ever seen.. BUT there was one part that made up for the whole movie. I was crying laughing so hard. haha.
Youth Group is tonight!
current mood: nothing
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Thursday, January 3rd, 2002
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10:11 pm - the party song
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brings back good memories of me and my sistah tearin' it up on the cruise-- which was wonderful, by the way.
very beautiful, very fun and I got to meet a lot of new, extremely interesting people. Plus I discovered that boys like to hit on me. Not only that, but offer me drinks.
funny world eh?
I have the best sisters in the world. I'm sad that I just found that out...
school is hell, work sux.. but it enables me to do the things I want and have fun (when I'm not at those places) just another way this world is logical. :\
got the chinese happy CD.. it's very nice. I like it. there's a show tomorrow.. but I don't know if I have anyone to go with. if ya wanna go-- tell me. call me. leave a message in this thing-- whatevah.
not I have to do my homework.
one more thing:in the past few weeks, 4 people I know have died. Almost 5.. but it's a 50/50 chance at the moment... *sigh* please god, let her pull through and be alright.
current mood:  worried
current music: toad the wet sprocket
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Saturday, December 22nd, 2001
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5:46 pm - YOU CAN ONLY BUY ABERCORMBIE AT ABERCROMBIE
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people are idiots. I also LOVE how people just comepletly TRASH stores and not even know it. Or they do! that's even better. ass holes. *screams*
I hate when my hair is clean.. it's too poofy : \
I have to pack all my shit still. I'm leaving for Nickys tonight... I don't know when. Prolly around 7 or 730 tho.. that means I have about an hour or a little more to get all of it done. I think I am going to die.
At least stef got me really cool burgindy shoes! they're so cool.. but they're a little small. Only size left that would be okay on my feet. I'll just use bandaids or something. I have harry potter ones :)
I am going to miss very few things when I leave. That's really sad....
current mood:  exhausted
current music: Bouncing Souls~ True Believers
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Wednesday, December 19th, 2001
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11:27 pm - like you said-- I don't care
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I hate my life right now.
school is nothing but chaos.. I study so much, and pay attention as much as I possibly can.. and I fail everything that comes my way!
the whole *romance* thing is fuct beyond belief.. and it makes me feel horrible about myself
the assistant manager at my work is the biggest ass hole I've met. He decides to make me go as far away from the rest of the workers as possible, for no reason at all. Just so that they can all have a conversation without me there I guess..
and my best friend didn't want to talk about it with me. She just left.
So at the moment- I just want to go in my closet and shut the door until Sunday when I can go far far far away from everything......
current mood: depressed
current music: incubus
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Friday, December 14th, 2001
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10:50 pm - if you were even going to picture that... no
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well.. I think it finally happened.. and aint it a bitch. Sometimes I like crushes, but usually they end in a not so pleasent way. either that or I comepltely forget about them.. and I don't really want to. ALthough I spose that's the crush talkin...
anyway: work was alright. long and my feet hurt, but fine other than that. I got my bathing suit, I should try it on again tho.. just to make sure I like it.
why are you reading this?
current mood: tired
current music: Bouncing Souls~ hopeless romantic
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