Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in nique's LiveJournal:

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Thursday, July 4th, 2002
3:28 am	your taste still lingers on my lips Current Mood: flirty Current Music: doors - light my fire (Comment on this)
Wednesday, June 12th, 2002
11:57 pm	what the shit dude, i suck. that was a pretty bad date. dont go to bay street on like a first date kinda thing. there are too many ppl there and everyone knows everyone and then...shit, u cant talk to the person u came to see. me and dave roll up in there and he knows all these ppl and hes talkin to them all and not me. then we start talking to this isralie guy (who ive seen there like everytime ive been there) it was good convo, i guess. he told us how he was in the service and shit in isreal. and him and dave are talking about guns and shit, i know nothing, i just sit there and listen. it kinda sucked. no, ok, it really sucked. and then we got kicked outta b.s. cause they were closing but he was like "aw, i gotta go home." im like what the shit. do u have some curfew or some shit? i mean really. and he shook my hand when he got outta m car, with the cast hand no less. jesus. nique cant get no play, no where, from no one, at no time. well, ill invite him out this weekend and ill just get drunk or stoned or something and just put it all out. just be like "oh baby u want me? well u can get this lap dance here for free" or some shit.so yeah, now im gonna go paint the walls with my brains. Current Mood: disappointed Current Music: mineral (Comment on this)
Sunday, June 9th, 2002
10:48 pm	what the shit dude, tonight was hella random and crazy. first i wake up at jens hungover. we all chill, go shoppin at rasputins then i have to leave, so i do. i go to dog class, do dog shit. shawn calls me up and hes like "im so bored please save me". alright. after dog class i go pick him up. im like yeah i dont really want to do anything and ive got some errands so come with, alright. we go to get my litter box from my boss. and then we go to bay street. its cool, we talk and drink and smoke. then yvonne whom i was with all last night and this mmorning pops up with her friend. hey, what the shits goin on. they sit with us and we talk. then were like alright were gonna go blaze. alright, so were on the way outta bay street and i run into my friend, dave, from hs who i havent seen for like a year and hes already hella baked. im like whats goin on and shit and then he straight up offers to go blaze up. im like yo, we were already gonna do that right now, come with, alright. so him, his bro, his friend (who i also knew from newark) all come with me shawn, yvonne and her friend. i ride with dave and shawn ride with yvonne and james(?). we get to mission peak and they all smoke, me and yvonne dont cause we dont feel like it. and we talk and everyone gets along hella cool and it was great. i had a crush on dave in hs and we flirted and shit, it was all good. and then i was actually thinking about him the other day. so it was great seeing him. so as we get back to bay street to get my car we start to disperse and i get daves number and i hug him and hes like call me so we can kick it n shit. im like fuck yeah. and like everyone i was with tonight were all like "yeah call me up or ill call u and well kick it n shit". wow, tonight hella pleases me. emotions part: i really feel so loved and im glad i have these friends. i had a shitty life where i always felt excluded. and there was a while for like the last 6 months where its been all god, then for like the past month ive been doubting if these people really are my friends or posers lke always. (im sorry i cant help but doubt this and myself considering my past and shit) but tonight made me feel hella good. im gonna miss sean, he left for the second heartbreaking time today. december seems so far away. im glad i have pics of him now though but, shit, w/e. Current Mood: loved Current Music: no doubt - hella good (Comment on this)
Thursday, June 6th, 2002
2:01 am	creepy shit 14 I act like I'm 14. This test was brought to you by David - Part of the David and James phenomenon. Take it here. i had no idea. but i suppose it may be true. i dunno. i just saw it in another journal so i HAD TO DO IT AND NOW I SUPPOSE I AM BAFFLED. ahh shit i try to sound older and i end up accidently hitting the caps button. well suck my balls. Current Mood: depressed Current Music: soad - science (Comment on this)
Saturday, June 1st, 2002
9:24 am	kreuzen Sie den Rand und den Tanz mit Deutschland or teeter on the brinks of insanity. last night was so confusiing. and i was so drunk. i dont know how i made it to bed. Current Mood: awake Current Music: i wrote the words to this song on the back of a photograph (Comment on this)
12:56 am	fuck IM STILL DRUNK. THIS IS WEIRD. BUT WHAT A WEIRD shit. but what a weird night. hiding from the cops. being so depressed over something i think i may be exaggerating because im drunk. i dont know. but the night was so awkward to start. but im glad we talked and resolved it. jens so smart and i loved her lecture on all our stupid boy friends and their denial and shit. but really baby that was cheap. im so sad cause i dont know what to think cause i didnt expect it but that was cheap. i dont know these girls but i really didnt like them to begin with but that made them seem so much more stupider and maaade me dislike them a whole lot more. i mean i was already prety annoyed but damn. damn damn damnit. i dont know what to think. about mmmmm...6 hours ago i could have told u what i wanted but now im confused. some good, mostly bad tonight but whatever. i dont know. im just happy im at home and not getting anally raped alongside the other boys. Current Mood: drunk Current Music: ape dos mil (Comment on this)
Friday, May 24th, 2002
1:13 am	so im a glassjaw mommy now. i take a piece of glassjaw with me now . i am mommy # 172 at http://www.antip0p.org/gj/thelist4.html u can see my Gj baby on my info page after my fav. lyrics. check out my new icon too. im so proud of myself that i actually figureds out how to get an icon. oh yeah and i have a glassjaw buddy icon too. all i do is think about glassjaw now and how close i was to daryl and how in touch i feel with them now. yeah, id seen glassjaw before but it wasnt that personal and i loved glassjaw before but its just intensified. i joined glassjaw community xsiberiankissx and ive been reading a glassjaw message board and ive noticed that like everyone has these other bands besides glassjaw listed as their favs.: deftones, thursday, finch, & mineral. interesting. well shit now i get like 6 hours of sleep ogf some shit like that now. godamnit. buh bye Current Mood: awake Current Music: im addicted to "apes dos mil" (12 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, May 21st, 2002
2:44 pm	oh baby baby was glassJAw great or was it great!. i think it was great! i was on the fucking stage. i was staring at daryls ass half the time. i could have touched him but i was too frightened. i got his sweat on me. and i was right next to beck and i might have been able to touch him too but he was flailing around and swingin the guitar and it was dangerous. he spit and i got some of his spit on me. i saw daryls cock. he whipped it out. it was great. i swear to god i had like straight up eye contact with fucking manny and we held it and it was great i swear though he kept looking and i kept looking and we held eye contact a few times. and i know sean had a good time he was all up in the pit and crowd surfing and he got on stage and he was stage-diving. haha, someone stole his shoe so when he actually got to the stage u pretty much saw one while socked foot flying through the air. oh yeah, daryl did a lil crowd surfing but the crowd sucked. for everyone who was surfing they kept just pushing them back up to the stage..... stupid. omg. i was the closest to daryl than i think ive ever been to any rockstar. ok wait. except when i got my pic taken with sully. but still... for that amount of time just staring at him and absorbing him. i think thats the closest ive been to the stage too. omg it was great. PTW was good to. but i dont have any of their cds (though i may consider buying some) and i dont really know them so i just didnt enjoy it as much. but they were still good. it was very hot and sweaty though. i was wet but i wasnt even doing much. sean wwas soaked and he was insane and it went all the way down to the money in his wallet. yeah. we had a great time. im so in love with manny though. u know daryl is all kinda sickly and skinny and whatnot eveenthough hes still hot. and then beck is ok. but they are both all straight edge and whatnot and i just dont know about that anymore. but manny looks like my friend matt. and hes not all sickly or straightedge or anything. and we were staring at eachother. omg, i cant wait. im so going to ozzfest in saco and at the shoreline just so i can see them both times. yeah! so goin to another show tonight. woohoo. gonna see zagnut. oh wait is it zagnut anymore? i dunno whatever. itll always be zagnut in my heart. ok yeah good news. planned marriages may be failing. woohoo. i dont get it though. but whatever. i guess i didnt get it to begin with so anything that seems to be confusing about this relationship is not suprising.but it does make me happy to hear that. i mean im glad that they will realize how stupid it is before they actually go through with it. but there is onelittle teeny tiny piece of me that wants them to do it then get divorced or something, just so i can say "i told you so" but i suppose i could still do that if they break up before. it just wont be as fun for me. but i dont want him to be hurt after they've broken up and for me to rub lemon juice and kosher salt into his wounds to make it worse. oh well im just glaaad i heard what i heard cause then maybe they'll completely break up forever. ba hahaha ! Current Mood: happy Current Music: jays a winner, hes a goddamned sinner (4 Comments |Comment on this)
2:21 pm	oh daryl was glassJAw great or was it great!. i think it was great! i was on the fucking stage. i was staring at daryls ass half the time. i could have touched him but i was too frightened. i got his sweat on me. and i was right next to beck and i might have been able to touch him too but he was flailing around and swingin the guitar and it was dangerous. he spit and i got some of his spit on me. i saw daryls cock. he whipped it out. it was great. i swear to god i had like straight up eye contact with fucking manny and we held it and it was great i swear though he kept looking and i kept looking and we held eye contact a few times. and i know sean had a good time he was all up in the pit and crowd surfing and he got on stage and he was stage-diving. haha, someone stole his shoe so when he actually got to the stage u pretty much saw one while socked foot flying through the air. oh yeah, daryl did a lil crowd surfing but the crowd sucked. for everyone who was surfing they kept just pushing them back up to the stage..... stupid. omg. i was the closest to daryl than i think ive ever been to any rockstar. ok wait. except when i got my pic taken with sully. but still... for that amount of time just staring at him and absorbing him. i think thats the closest ive been to the stage too. omg it was great. PTW was good to. but i dont have any of their cds (though i may consider buying some) and i dont really know them so i just didnt enjoy it as much. but they were still good. it was very hot and sweaty though. i was wet but i wasnt even doing much. sean wwas soaked and he was insane and it went all the way down to the money in his wallet. yeah. we had a great time. im so in love with manny though. u know daryl is all kinda sickly and skinny and whatnot eveenthough hes still hot. and then beck is ok. but they are both all straight edge and whatnot and i just dont know about that anymore. but manny looks like my friend matt. and hes not all sickly or straightedge or anything. and we were staring at eachother. omg, i cant wait. im so going to ozzfest in saco and at the shoreline just so i can see them both times. yeah! (Comment on this)
Tuesday, May 14th, 2002
9:19 pm	life sucks and im screwed went to the doctors. apparently i have scoliosis (s/p?). so yeah that sucks and the doctor wouldnt gimmie any good pain pills so i took some from my gramma. i have now taken 1600mg of ibproufen...like 1.5 hrs ago. still hasnt helped. my life is just fucking piece of shit. fuck fuck fuxksdfjklnbae', COCK SUCKING NIGGER ASS MOTHER FUCKING SPIC ASS KIKE LOVING JEWISH WHORE OF A MOTHER FUCKER. (Comment on this)
Thursday, May 9th, 2002
10:59 pm	time is a valuable thing not just a number over the past few days (ok ive seen it before then but the past few days is when i put it to words) i have noticed that some people have WAY TOO MUCH TIME ON THEIR HANDS! i have also noticed how irresponsible, stupid, inconsiderate, and frivilous people are with their lives and time. time is your life. what you waste, what you rush, when you make selfish decisions you ruin it for yourself and all those around you. even those who you may not think are directly affected by it are deeply affected. Current Mood: worried Current Music: dashboard - SAINTS AND SAILORS (Comment on this)
Wednesday, May 8th, 2002
10:36 pm	party trip oh yes. now thank you to mtv i will so be taking a trip to british columbia, canada. yes. practically the weed capitol of north america. they have "the blunt bros." "new amsterdam cafe" and other store on the street that openly sell and let ou smoke weed in there. yes, its against the law but no, the cops dont care. im sure i will be going there. i mean, yeah, i can get high any day here pretty much. but still. me, i get paranoid, so where its really illegal, like here, im a little hesitant to do it openly. but so, yeah, goiin to BC. ok well, jackass is on now so going. oh gawd this is THE GREATEST SHOW EVER!!! Current Mood: jealous Current Music: ROB ZOMBIE - THUNDERKISS 65 (Comment on this)
Sunday, May 5th, 2002
3:04 pm	sinnvolle Alkaline Trio Wörter übersetzt zum Deutschen Ich wurde nichts, als ich herausfand, daß Sie tot waren, als ich herausfand, daß ich Sie nie wieder sehen würde. Sie decieved mich, als Sie sagten, daß Sie mich wünschten. Nachdem Sie kaum mit Ihnen für zwei Wochen gesprochen haben, heute erklären Sie mir, daß Sie heiraten und daß ich nicht jetzt kommen kann! You.re ein Arschloch. Vor ich wünsche, daß ich gehört hatte zu, was sie mir erklärten, aber ich dachte es war Eifersucht. Ich verliebte dann in Sie. Er war die Zeit, Sie ist ein fucking Arschloch korrekt gewesen. Ich hasse Sie und jetzt hasse mich ich für dieses. Ich hoffe Sie gerade bumsend genieße sie vor Ihnen Fäule in der Hölle. Current Mood: depressed Current Music: weezer - say it ain't so (Comment on this)
Saturday, May 4th, 2002
10:45 am	concet calander 5/5 - the vines - slims - $ 10 5/13 - flogging molly, the casualties - slims - $15 5/15 - starting line, finch, brand new, auto pilot off - Bottom Of the Hill - $8 5/17 - the gloria record, lunchbox, velvet teen - BOtH - $7 5/18 - Dave Matthews Band - Shoreline - lawn $35 5/18&19 - face to face, midtown, thrice - slims - $15 *********5/19 - GLASSJAW & POISON THE WELL - the pound sf - $10***** 6/6&7 - get up kids - fillmore - $? 6/7 - good riddance - slims - $12 6/14 - BFD 9 featuring P.O.D, Unwritten Law, Rob Zombie, Goldfinger, Papa Roach,Cypress Hill, Quarashi, Jimmy Eat World, The Vines, The Strokes, New Found Glory,Hoobastank, Alien Ant Farm 6/17 - sugarcult - GAMH - $10 6/22 - never a dull moment tour ft. tommy lee - slims - $25 7/13 - reverend horton heat & nashville pussy - slims - $20 7/14&15 - warped tour ft. Bad Religion, New Found Glory, NOFX, Mighty Mighty Bosstones, No Use For A Name, MxPx, Reel Big Fish, Quarashi, Good Charlotte,Lagwagon and many, MANY more! &THURSDAY;! - pier 30/32 - $40.50 both days 8/25 - ozzfest featuring System of a Down, Rob Zombie, P.O.D., Adema, Drowning Pool,Apex Theory and more. & GLASSJAW! - sacramento - $? 8/29 - ozzfest - shoreline - $43.50 - 78.50 (Comment on this)
Tuesday, April 23rd, 2002
12:25 am	shit. dumb ass hippies i was at some website and it asked me who i would vote for: democrat(gore) , republican(bush), or green(nader). so i clicked on bush and it showed me a little poll scale. at the bottom of this scale it said "did u know bush allowed the exicution of a retard? we support green party" so just for kicks i re did it and clicked on gore instead. guess what it said "the democratic party helped end welfare." what a load of hippie bullshit. fuck the hippies. i say we all skull-fuck them. (Comment on this)
Sunday, April 21st, 2002
7:34 pm	I would die for you I would die for you I've been dying just to feel you by my side To know that you're mine I will cry for you I will cry for you I will wash away your pain with all my tears and drown your fears I will pray for you I will pray for you I will sell my soul for something pure and true Someone like you See your face every place that I walk in Hear your voice every time that I'm talking You will believe in me and I will never be ignored I will burn for you Feel pain for you I will twist the knife and bleed my aching heart and tear it apart I will lie for you Beg and steal for you I will crawl on hands and knees until you see you're just like me Violate all the love that I'm missing Throw away all the pain that I'm living You will believe in me and I can never be ignored I would die for you I would kill for you I will steal for you I'd do time for you I will wait for you I'd make room for you I'd sink ships for you To be close to you To be part of you 'Cause I believe in you I believe in you I would die for you (Comment on this)
Thursday, April 18th, 2002
12:14 am	omg. my whole journal entry just got deleated. goddamnit. fuck it all. (Comment on this)
Sunday, March 31st, 2002
11:57 pm	i want you to want me. i want you to feel what i feel everytime. i want you to be jealous. i want you to die inside like i do. i want you to smile while you cry inside. i want you to want to scream to drownd out the sounds. i want you to have that rage built up inside you. i want you to hate him. i want you to try and hold everything back. i want you to try and make me jealous(your already doing a good job) i want you to get down on your knee and beg for me. i want you to cry yourself to sleep when you know im with him. i want you to hear us scream. i want you to hear us fuck. i want you to hear the headboard banging on your wall all night. i want you to try and escape the noise that imbeds its self permenantly in your mind. you'll never forget. i want you to imagine me with him, not you, but still knowing all this time that i want you. i want you to die like i do... (Comment on this)
Wednesday, March 27th, 2002
10:25 am	splintered piece of glass i love ed norton. finally bought am. history X on DVD (only had the inferior VHS version). i also decided to buy fight club cause its fucking great. gotta go see death to smoochy. i feel dirty. i need to shower. im thinkin im gonna take a trip to rhode island this summer.go to provi, boston, salem, nantucket, portsmouth... but ill have to save some money over the next few weeks and go in like june or july. ....save money? hahahaha. yeah, me save money. im gonna try. i mean the other night i just spent like $300 in like an hour online shopping on clothes...n whatnot. oh well. clothes are fun. got a skirt!? dont know what i was thinking. itll be the only skirt i own and the only skirt ive worn in like 4 years. got a thursday shirt. some pin-up girl shorts. some black shirts. a grommet purse. some *unspeakables* from fredricks of hollywood, hehe. im crazy.... its gonna be fun the next ...while....i hope. dont blow me off again mofo. ive got shits to do. Current Mood: awake Current Music: thursday (Comment on this)
Saturday, March 23rd, 2002
10:02 pm	blessed be my bedpan wow, am i so sexually deprived!? i just got back from glassjaw. they were great. daryl made direct eyecontact with me a few times. i was right in front and center and i could almost touch him if he leaned out. there was only one chick in front of me on the rail...thats how close i was. plus in tall so i was standing on my toes and waving my hands in the air and screaming and singing along with the songs.. oh yeah, he noticed me. but we were all like fucking sardenes and there was this guy standing directly behind me and (because i was jumping and moving around and whatnot) my ass was totally rubbing him. and he started to get hard. i could feel it. i didnt look back or anything but i kept doin it and he was still right up on me... it was interesting. then i almost took these guys home with me on my way out. there were 3 and this one was so fucking drunk he coudnt walk and i started chatting with them and whatnot. they asked me to help them with the drunk guy. i said i was parked way the fuck down there but if they were still there i could swing by and pick them up and they said they may try to get a taxi. i left and when i was walking away i heard them talking bout me. but after i got in my car and drove back by the warfield they werent there. oh well. they were hot. this gutter punk came up to me and he was asking for spare change. it was great he said "do u have any spare change so i can go buy a bottle of alchol and get really fucking drunk and pass out in some dark alley and drowd in my own vomit?" i started laughing and said no and i stopped to listen to him and hes all "anything...pennies" i was like "sorry ive gotta pay for parking i only have dollars" and he started listing off every possible thing i could give him extremely fast "american express, visa, mastercard, diners, discover, food stamps, check..." (ok i dont know if thats exactly what he said but u get the idea).again i said no. and hes all "alright baby." and he shook my hand.that threw me off. but i turned and continued walking. i love san francisco. its great. but yet again its only 10 on a sat night and i am home alone. fuck. Current Mood: depressed Current Music: this is what its like to be alone (Comment on this)