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Sunday, November 11th, 2001

Time: 5:41 pm.

Break open the champagne! Your rockstar boyfriend is Thom Yorke You and Thom Yorke are a match made in heaven!. You're both quite shy, but highly intelligent and creative people. You might be described as being a wallflower at parties, but it is probably because you're so deep in thought! Music is a huge part of your life and you prefer to experiment with different genres of music, rather than sticking to the same thing, which makes you a perfect couple!

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Time: 2:33 pm. Mood: okay. Music: van morrison's greatest hits album.

school today was extremely unproductive seeing as though i didn't do any of my homework and i couldn't concentrate. my ap english teacher assigned yet another paper and reading assignment on top of the research paper and other random assignments we already have. i literally do not have time to do anything. as much as i hate to go into the library when im not working, i think i might have to pay it a visit tonight just to make sure that i actually get some of this work done. tomorrow is nfg/h20/rx bandits/river city high so that means i wont get anything done then. wednesday afternoon is the wake, and then at night i have to bring my brother and sister out for halloween while my parents stay with my grandparents, aunts and uncles. and then thursday is the funeral, which i dont know if i want to go to...i honestly cannot take things like this emotionally. plus my mom needs someone to watch the kids. a girl at school today asked me what was wrong because apparently i looked kinda out of it and when i told her she said "damn you are having a bad year with your family". i know she didn't mean it badly but it was a real nice example of rubbing salt into a wound... i dont know. i just need to go and do something fun. i left school around 1130 today and went home for lunch but ended up going back because i couldnt stand sitting in my house alone. i worked on the GSA diversity week proposal and filled out the principal's leadership award application. so i suppose i got some stuff done. i can tell already that this upcoming weekend is going to kinda suck. brent has practice all weekend, sarah is going to the show in franklin, i want to go to the show in seekonk (plus its 2 mins away), saturday i have to work, saturday night i have absolutely no plans (maybe ill sleep??? i was hoping maybe brent could find a way to come spend some time with me...but wait that would be asking too much- i almost forgot, im come SECOND to the band. opps...okokok so maybe that isnt fair. i have nothing against the kids in fake id, i love them all, it just gets really really hard...maybe im a bad girlfriend...i dont know.) anyways. basically im not looking foward to this weekend. and then on monday night is the dreaded senior supper which mind you i have no clue what i am going to wear to. everyone is buying really nice dresses while i am sitting here completely content wearing any old thing. sometimes i wished i cared more..?? ok maybe not. i am just writing down any old thing that comes to my mind. hmm i got really really mad at chris the other day for making fun of me even though he said not to take it personally. normally i could care less about what people say etc but for some reason what he wrote really bothered me. it was as if he was denying the validity of something extremely important to me. maybe out of spite? im not sure. my hands are frozen. it feels like thursday and its only monday...that cant be good. brent and i had a long, tear-filled conversation last night about our relationship. in the end, even though i was this close to breaking up with him, we are still together. i know its whats best for me deep down inside, i just feel like so much is missing. like i am such a minor piece of his life right now, even though i know in his heart i am huge...does this make sense? it sure as hell doesnt to me. i am having a craving for food, but i am not sure what exactly it is that i want...its very very bizarre. hmm...ice cream? nope. oeros? nope. pickles? nope. milky way? nope. (i am going through all of my weaknesses)....oh well. i am off to attempt to make some logical sense of the horendous pile of books and papers that my teachers call homework.... -melissa j.

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Time: 11:12 am. Mood: shocked.

why are things in life always so unfair? just when i thought my life was taking a turn for the better, things go and get worse... i woke up this morning to find out that my uncle died in a car accident last night. i feel like i need to scream at the world. i feel like i am going to explode. it's so unfair...

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Subject: I really think that everyone should have watercolors, magnetic poetry and a harmonica. Time: 12:33 pm. Mood: sick. Music: shorty- the get up kids.

"You have severe respiratory congestion" thank gosh is all i have to say. i thought it was pneumonia or my death. (ear infections have evolved over the weekend) the last two days i have basically felt as if i could not breath. i feel like there is someone sitting on my chest, and i get these horrible stabbing pains in what i believe to be my right lung everytime i try to take a deep breath. i seriously thought i was going to die around midnight last night. but obviously i did not. if the pains continue through tomorrow then i have to get a chest xray done just to double check to make sure its not pneumonia. im crossing my fingers that its not. its really scary to start to cough and not be able to stop and suddenly feel as if a big door slammed shut on your lungs and absolutely no air can get in. i want to go out and get a cheesy romantic comedy to watch and some ben and jerrys half baked ice cream buttttt my mom says no and that she wont go out and get it for me either...BLAH. so i have settled for sitting on my bed listening to four minute mile (guk) and rolling up all of my change to bring to the bank when i am once again mobile (which i am hoping is tomorrow...i HATE missing school, make up work is a bitch and a half) grand total of $ from coins: $18 (which for me isnt actually that much, i have a tendency to always save all of my change and cash in like $50, its sweet, i suggest everyone does it. very rewarding) sooo ive seen new found glory god only knows how many times but they are playing on october 30th and brent is on the guestlist which means i am too (he can bring one person with him) and matt galle also mentioned the fact that we might be able to hang out with them. sooo i suppose if i am feeling up to it, it may be worth going. and i was also considering it being part of a certain someone birthday present but im not sure whats going to happen yet, i dont want to get it for her and then have me not be able to go, it kinda defeats the whole purpose "here ya go, happy birthday have fun at the concert without me!" hmm nah. saves the day, hey mercedes and thursday...NOV. 17th, Lupos Heartbreak Hotel. ohhhh yeahhhh baby. they are also playing in boston on the 16 and somewhere else in MA on the 18th however im a poor little girl (as mentioned before i have to roll coins in order to get money!!) oh my! i didnt do a weekend update. i suppose there isnt much to say. friday i stayed home partly because i was sick and also due to the fact that i had SATs saturday morning (oh man...i hate those damn things) brent picked me up around like one i think and then i think we got foodi cant really remember...umm we picked up nicky6 and traded the brent mobile for the mom bomb and headed back to the mulligan residence. the tard bus is broken down so we had to find other means to get to their show (which was at Mass Art). john's uncle ended up letting them use his trailor, which is about the size of freaking house. it was crazy. the show started off a little on the slow side, not many people were there but it ended up filling in. both john and nick broke strings in the first song and ben spilled his water but whatever its all good. i was impressed with the way it was run (my friend matt's older brother sets them all up: ben sisto). however i didnt feel very well at all, the whole not being able to breath thing started...and i was kinda ticked that i had to sit at the merch table the whole time when i actually paid to get in and the bands that were playing i actually liked unlike most of the other kids that were there (or maybe they did like them i dont know but they definitely werent watching all of them play, i know ben was and i think nick did for a while too)....buttttt whatever i am over it for the most part. a lot of it roots from other things. sometimes i get really disappointed with the lack of respect that some people show others. being self centered and honestly believing the world revolves around you will get you know where in life. being a tolerant person makes life so much easier in my opinion. and i guess being tolerant means that you have to accept those who are close minded and ignorant. yeaaaa i doubt im making sense to anyone. it makes sense in my mind. i promise you that. i know at least a couple of people out there know what i mean. honestly, what is the point of hurting other people? it obviously doesnt make the other person feel good about themselves and how can you feel proud of your actions? how can you be so blind? words can do more damage than many people are aware. or maybe they are aware and simply dont care... that frightens me.

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Time: 2:21 pm. Mood: thirsty.

this weekend consisted of the following: friday-going with fake id to new hampshire, never actually making it to new hampshire. the van broke down in bolton ma. i have no freaking clue where that was. a little bit after the mass pike i think. we had to sit in a parking lot for about 4 hours, ate easy mac, watched as sean poured piss all over john...i guess it was okay considering the situation. kinda got into a big fight with brent but that is over with now, thank gosh. saturday: worked from 10-2, hung out with brent from 230-530, then got Chinese food and drove with sarah to franklin to go get dan to find that nicole had already picked him up and we drove there for no reason. ohhhhhh well. headed back to SK, watched bring it on. laughed a bunch. nearly fell asleep on sarahs bed with travis and then headed home. today: woke up at 10:14, did the dishes, ate some ice cream, cleaned my room, im now watching the news and listening to a translation of bin laden's speech to the us. UGH. brent should be here around 430 and i am spending the night in fitchburg with him. yay! it's damn cold outside!

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Time: 3:32 pm. Mood: cranky. Music: uhhhh im not sure who this song is by but its damn good.

There are a million and one things that I could update about. But 99% of them are boring or stupid or upsetting or other things that are worthless to even attempt at trying to convey here, or anywhere for that matter. okay so. my mom is okay now. well as okay as she can be. last friday was a really rough day. to make a long story short, she ended up being allergic to vicadin. and to top off the week my 19 year old uncle went into a diabetic coma and his sugar levels were so high that he came very close to dieing. but they have stablized him and hopefully he will be going home shortly. friday night i went to the hospital to see him for a few hours and then went to nicole's house to bring her mashed potatoes because she got her wisdom teeth out. between me, sarah and nicole, i dont think i have ever seen sooo many things of mashed potatoes. we love them. (only the KFC ones! we went there just for side orders of m.p. but ended up leaving with lots of other stuff too) saturday i got to see brent during the day for a little while and then fake id had a show in needham. i thought it was a pretty good show. i got to see a ton of people i hadn't seen in a long time. i got in a really horrible mood towards the end of the night, especially on the ride home. but i wont go into details about that seeing as though it was all dumb thoughts that have no real relation to anything. sunday was alright. me and brent went on a date to the mall. yay! and then they had another show in medway that ended up getting shut down by the cops. oh wait or was it the management? oh well. it was cold and rainy and that kinda blew. plus whenever i know that brent is leaving again i get in bad moods. its strange. i get sad that he is leaving but i distance myself from him. i dont know if its some bizarre defense thing, as if i am getting ready to not see him again for 5 more days. i dont know. i really dont know much of anything anymore. kevin and i realized that today. that we dont know anything. some girl in my creative writing class today was passing out her phone number to people she thought were cool and i was a "lucky" receiptant. there was a grand total of 4 of us and we were instructed to call her to chill sometime. i dont think ill be calling anytime soon. maybe it was just me, but i found the whole situation to be strange. one more thing to add to the i dont know list. thats all for now. i gotta go make my mom a cup of tea. -melissa

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LiveJournal for Melissa. View: User Info. View: Friends. View: Calendar. View: Memories. You're looking at the latest 20 entries. Missed some entries? Then simply jump back 20 entries.