Jada's LiveJournal Entries [entries|friends|calendar]
Jada

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[11 Feb 2002|12:28pm]
I've got a new Livejournal account. "Bettyred" add me! :D
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[06 Feb 2002|08:28am]
[ mood | crushed ]

I'll be so glad when I can go home. Ahhhhhhhhhhh!

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bad hair days + cold days. [05 Feb 2002|08:57pm]
[ mood | bored ]
[ music | Toya's SHIT and TV. ]

Well I tried to dye my hair back to it's natural dirty blonde' stage, and of course I had the mother of all fuck ups. Instead of my hair turning back blonde, it totally bleached itself this hideous strawberry white/orange. Talk about florescent lighting. So I went back to CVS today, after a day of over exposure and embarressment, and got a light brown to redo it. So My hair is somewhat back to the color it was before the disaster.
It's been too cold outside lately. Summer finally ended and it snowed yesterday for all of 10 minutes. It was a complete blizzard here, until the sun came out and it stopped. Thank god it didn't stick. I'd hate to be stuck here for a weekend with no money to go anywhere. I'm totally broke. :O
I talked to Jenn tonight. It felt good to finally be able to talk to one of my girls. I haven't really had one of those long talks in a while with someone I could truely relate to. I miss you guys, and I hope that one day you will realize, that space changes us all. I want to go home, or maybe to another town.
I'm now waiting for Josh to get home. I miss him way too much that it kills. It feels like this choking pains in my throat everytime I breath. Death couldn't be any sweeter. I love you baby. Hopefully all goes well tomorrow. Good luck in school Jenn and good luck with the girl.

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To be free [Emiliana Torrini] [03 Feb 2002|07:55pm]
[ mood | drained ]

Once in a house on a hill
A boy got angry
He broke into my heart
For a day and a night
I stayed beside him
Until I had no hope
So I came down the hill
Of course I was hurt
But then I started to think

Shouldn't it hurt me to be free
It's what I really need
To pull myself together
But if it's so good being free
Would you mind telling me
Why I don't know what to do with myself

There's a part by the dark
Where I found myself
Drinking with this man
He offered me a cigarette
And I accepted
'Cause it's been a very long time
As it burnt till the end
I thought of the boy
No one could ever forget

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[31 Jan 2002|10:29am]
Sometimes I'd rather die,
Than take another look in the eyes of life.
Sometimes I'd rather drown,
Than take another swim in the circling motions of love.
Sometimes I'd rather be born,
Than take a crawl into a casket filled with death.
Sometimes...
Sometimes...
Sometimes, I just break down and cry.
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a promise is...not a promise. [31 Jan 2002|09:31am]
[ mood | hurt. ]
[ music | boy kicks girl. ]

Ok girls. I've done my share of research. Promises do not exist. I think the word is entirely overrated and exploited. Sometimes I think boys just say "I promise" to get you to shut up for a second or two. If I ever hear the words "I Promise" again...I'll blow my brains out. Do words not mean anything anymore? Or is it just an infatuation with the thought of sounds?

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[28 Jan 2002|08:38pm]
[ mood | lonely ]
[ music | the TV. ]

I drove to Rocky Mount today, just tell Josh I love you. I couldn't find him. But I tried anyways. I also saw Jenn. I hope you get better!

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[28 Jan 2002|08:36pm]
[ mood | lonely ]
[ music | the TV. ]

I drove to Rocky Mount today, just tell Josh I love you. I couldn't find him. But I tried anyways. I also saw Jenn. I hope you get better!

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[28 Jan 2002|02:42pm]
[ mood | suicidal. ]
[ music | the tv. ]

a little less to say each day...

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[28 Jan 2002|08:09am]
[ mood | sick ]

I never knew a lie, until I heard the words come from your mouth.

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news + grilled cheese [25 Jan 2002|07:58am]
[ mood | lonely ]
[ music | News. ]

I'm getting ready for class...yay! I'm going home today...yippy!! I watching the news and eating a grilled cheese...wowser! I miss you Josh and I miss Jenn. GOD. I hate Chowan.

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Jada + Basketball. School Spirit? [23 Jan 2002|09:50pm]
[ mood | bouncy ]
[ music | TV. ]

That's right. I went to a basketball Game. And Yes I cheered a little. So now me and Toya are sharing Girl talk. I'm kinda tired. I had lab till 5 and now I'm waiting for Joshua to call. Jenn. Watch out for them Carbon Copies! CoppppppyCat.

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the bad girlfriend. [16 Jan 2002|06:22pm]
[ mood | sad ]
[ music | golden girls ]

the bad girlfriend pretends to know
what she doesn't know.
the bad girlfriend likes to recieve presents,
but never has the money to give.
the bad girlfriend loans you 5 dollars,
and then finds a way to make you feel bad.
the bad girlfriend fusses about everything,
it can be almost anything.
the bad girlfriend always cries when her feelings are hurt,
but never seems to care when she is hurting others.
the bad girlfriend loves her boyfriend very much,
but can't find a way to suppress her anger.
the bad girlfriend pushes all of his friends away
and then whines if he goes out while she goes out.
the bad girlfriend doesn't lie,
but she can never admit that she is wrong.
the bad girlfriend can never let an argument go,
she can only keep persisting until he says "i'm sorry"
the bad girlfriend knows she is bad,
and that bad girlfriend is me.

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what do you gain by hurting... [11 Jan 2002|11:01pm]
[ mood | lonely ]
[ music | Garrison Starr (Best CD ever) ]

I've made my mind up and decided its time to put my collection of poems together. I've decided to go through and pull out my favorites and save them to a disk until I can get the book or portfolio made. After that, I think I'm going to try and get it published. I've decided that sitting around and waiting is just holding me back. So I'll continue with my plans.
I had to work tonight, and I'm still sick. Jenn and Bethnany stopped by and that cheered me up. I've had a bad day and it just seems to be getting worse.
Somtimes, when I rest at night, I try to sink into the bed and disapear. Just one second, away from everything that surrounds me. Earlier today, I tried to pretend I was invisible, and that No one could see me. It felt good to be isolated from everything else and in my own world. I got more work done that way. I'm really ready to leave Rocky Mount. I'm actually ready to leave the state. It's pretty sad and pathetic that I'm putting this in a journal, on the net, for thousands of people (who could give a damn) to read.
I never asked for too much, Just a friend. Someone who respected me enough to really "listen" and understand. But maybe some things in life, are just a little too much to ask for, and maybe I'm a just a little too selfish.

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this years love better last... [10 Jan 2002|04:26pm]
[ mood | sick & drowsy. ]
[ music | David Gray. ]

I'm still sick. Josh thinks is might be a bronco virus. My eyes are really sore and my vision has become somewhat blurry. I've been sleeping most of the day away. I watched crazy beautiful again, for the 3rd time since yesterday. I'm really starting to attach to that movie
strongly. It's sorta cute. I'm trying to force myself about to clean, but its hard to keep my balance. I hope everything with Jenn's mom is ok. And I hope that everyone is having a nice break, or that school is ok.

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This is not Hollywood. [09 Jan 2002|03:51pm]
[ mood | sick ]
[ music | cranberries. ]

Today has been a lazy day, and I just read that Mama Janney isn't doing all too well. (Sorry Jenn, let me know if you need anything. I'll have my cell with me today) School starts back on the 13th, and I'm dreading the move back. So much shit, like clothes and grocerys and well everything to take back. I really don't want to leave. I finally got nessled in back where I belonged and then poof! Up and going again. I haven't really talked to Kelly and Wayne since they got married. Well I haven't talked to them all at to be totally honest.
I don't know their new number, and until she calls, I doubt I ever will. I really miss her and I wanna know that everything is ok.
I've been sick all day. I have a real bad sore throat and my allergies are at a constant battle. I've sneezed atleast 20 times in the last hour.
Hopefully I'll be out of the house tonight. I think Josh and I are going to see Christy (from work) Since her boyfriend is out of town. She said she's lonely, but atleast hes out of her hair for 5 days.
I love you Jenn. CALL MY CELL IF I'M NOT HOME.

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three blind mice. [06 Jan 2002|08:36pm]
[ mood | bouncy ]
[ music | the specials. ]

Hurray! The snow is finally melting and I can get out and enjoy some fresh air. It's been raining all day so human traffic has been kind of slow. Last night I went out with Josh and Phil, and I spent most of the day with them today. We talked everything out and me and Josh "cleared" a lot of things up.
I've been doing a lot of reading and writing lately. I've decided to pick up in the places I left off. I really want a novel, but looks as though that will never happen. I dunno maybe it will.
I also need money for the 10g's. The plugs still don't fit. Too bad I'm not rich like the rest of em.

Hi fuzzface. Good luck with school girly! "Get them liscenes!"
I love you Josh, no matter what (Poohbear)

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white thursday... [03 Jan 2002|08:11am]
So I'm sure by now everyone knows that it is snowing in Rocky Mount. Yes Katie, we are getting snow as we speak. So Neiner neiner neiner! It's not as much as you guys but hey, it's enough to keep me satisfied.
I don't have anyone to play with, but it will be ok.
I went to Raliegh yesterday, and went to Schoolkids. I also drove to the mall, which was a waste of time. I never see anything appealing there, except shoes, if even that. And they have a hello kitty store! I'm so going back and buying up "stock"
I got a new Cd, of the band X. Josh told me to check em out, and they aren't that bad. Good investment. I'm going back sometime to get the other bratmobile cd and to hunt for the bruisers. Hopefully...I will come up lucky.
I miss you Josh!
NO WORK! cause I'm NOT going in.
And I love you guys.
Happy snow day.
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my london bridge has fallen down. [01 Jan 2002|02:07pm]
[ mood | groggy ]
[ music | boy sets fire. ]

may this year be better than the ones before. may true friendships last and may those find happiness.

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murder for rent [31 Dec 2001|09:42am]
[ mood | lazy ]
[ music | agent99 ]

So It's almost new years and I've made quite a few resolutions for myself. They probably won't last long, but I do know that:

1.) NO more retarded arguements with Josh.
2.) to spend more quality time with the girls.
3.) lose weight, because my fat isn't precious.
4.) get my god damn tattoo finished.
5.) Study more, shop more, and rest more.

Ok, so they are just a few. I have several others but maybe I shouldn't list those. I'd hate for someone to get offended. So I got another pussykat shirt. This one is green, becaus emy blue one got really messed up.
The relationship between me and Josh is getting better. We still argue over stupid things. Sometimes you just can't see eye to eye with him. No matter how mad he makes me, I still love him. And yes Josh, last night I could have killed you. :)
So I'm off to shower and clean the room. It's way dirty.

Happy New Years Josh, Jenn, Katie, Karree, Christ, Stacy, JenB, Matt, Jamie, and the rest of the world that I forgot.

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