Below are the 10 most recent journal entries recorded in Sass' LiveJournal:

Tuesday, March 19th, 2002
6:02 pm	Life... Wowee, it's been so long since I last came in here!! We're not living in Christchurch anymore, we're living in Wanganui ~ which is okay, life is a lot slower here but we're doing alright. We're currently renting a house on a farm, it has the most stunning views out to the ocean. Our new baby was born on 4 March, we've had another little boy, I guess I was a little disappointed but not too much, Phinehas is such a good little guy and we think the boys will be great friends once they grow up a little. He weighed in at 9lb's 11oz which was pretty darn huge!! ;) Tobias is being a little odd, he wet his bed twice last night which really pissed me off! Hopefully, things will be better tonight and there won't be anymore accidents! Well, that's me for now, I don't have an awful lot of time! Ciao (Comment on this)
Friday, August 17th, 2001
12:05 am	Haven't written in here for ages... I finally went for my first antenatal appt yesterday, I was disappointed as I didn't get to hear the heartbeat, I'm sure everything is okay, I just worry as I know so many other young mothers who have had miscarriages, I don't think I could go through it, I'd go insane with grief. I think I've felt the baby kicking lately, just faintly so hopefully everything really is okay. I just can't seem to get excited about this child, I'm so darn scared that it'll never get here alive. I must sound like a complete idiot, Jason keeps telling me not to be so faithless when I've mentioned it... not that I go on and on about it or anything, it's mainly just kept close inside. Tobias turned two years old today, my little man is growing up so fast, he's so beautiful and talented, funny and intelligent ~ and frustrating!! But that's part of parenting a terrible toddler!!! Nah really, I love my son to bits, he is a real little ray of sunshine in our lives and hopefully his little brother or sister will be too. We might be moving soon, Jason has a job interview in a couple of weeks and if he gets it, we'll be moving back up to the North Island, that'll be interesting. It'll be good if he does in regards to my job, it is really getting to me lately. :( I better go and grab some sleep ~ hopefully Jason hasn't been calling while I've been online to catch me out being up late!! hahahahaha, not like he can do much anyways but get all shitty!! Oh I love him!! :) Current Mood: thoughtful Current Music: Black - Pearl Jam (Comment on this)
Saturday, July 7th, 2001
8:52 pm	Blah!!!!! I haven't logged in for so long, guess it's because I've been feeling so sick with all the stuff that goes on in the first trimester of preganancy ~ I can't believe I forgot how horrible morning sickness really is!!! ;) Still, I'm happy that we're having another little one and so is Jason. I just wish he'd get off his butt and get a better job, he's so much better than the service station attendant that he's being at the moment. Every week, he gets more and more haggard as the graveyard shifts eat him more and more away, it makes me so sad as he seems to be becoming but a shadow of his former self. :( Tobias has been a handful today, he has this real thing about spilling things on our carpet ~ and seeing as it is not "our" carpet, it is our landlord's, it's not so great. About 2 months ago, he spilt cooking oil on it, no matter how hard I try to clean it, more and more keeps seeping through, it's really depressing me. Tonight, he spilt lemonade and milk all over the place, even though I was right there watching him the whole time, I'm so pleased he is in bed now, I tell you!!! We had some good times earlier on in the day though and he's still learning fast and is so cute. Our landlord rung up this afternoon and said that our rent has bounced twice in the last two months, great news for us!!! Especially since we always make sure that there is $200 in there so that the $180 rent should always go through. Obviously the bank has been fucking us over again, I hate those bastards so much, they make us look bad. How are we supposed to know whether we have the amount of money we think we do if they don't even give us a proper run down of our funds????? We take out all surplus money to avoid paying their bank fees for everytime we use our bank card. Ahhhhhhh... the stress!! Anyway, I've had my vent for the night, I'm off to write a few emails and then it's off to bed for me ~ and off to WORK tomorrow :( Current Mood: stressed Current Music: The sound of the TV (Comment on this)
Saturday, June 23rd, 2001
1:40 pm	Exciting News!!!! I found out that Jason and I are expecting another baby a few days ago which is cool but really nerve wracking too. We thought we'd just have a bit of a go at it, just the one time and if it happened, it happened ~ and surprise, surprise, it did!! So, I'm due on around February 2002. We told our families today, they're fine with it, it's a big relief that they're good about it this time as when I got pregnant with Tobias, it was a big huge deal and stressed us out so much. I guess they've seen that we're good parents to our little angel :) Current Mood: jubilant Current Music: The buzz of the "puter", that's it!! Oh, and Tobias playing (Comment on this)
Thursday, June 14th, 2001
12:36 am	Oh the stress!! On Friday, I'm going to be going over to a chick who I met over the net's house, I'm freaking out as I'm so sure she's not going to like me. I ruin every friendship that ever seems to start budding as I'm so shy and I run away from relationships that seem to be getting too close, I've been hurt so many times, even Jason has hurt me and I love him more than anyone ~ except Tobias of course. I really want to make some real friends, just want to be accepted by people, they can't get past the fact I'm a hard person to read. I sometimes wish that I was just one of those social butterfly teenybopper people, but then I snap out of it and think "why would I ever want to be so boring?", all I really want is to just be able to communicate with people with similar interests to myself without freezing. I know I probably sound like all I ever do is bitch on about how horrible my life is, the truth is though, that I only ever get on here when I need to vent. Sorry!! Current Mood: geeky (Comment on this)
Monday, June 11th, 2001
12:07 am	I went to work for my big long day today, wasn't too bad, in fact, I'm actually feeling like I actually have got something to contribute to the human race. For the first time in ages I can actually pick out a few things about myself that I like and that others like ~ like the fact that I'm genuine, if I like someone, I like them and if I dislike someone, they know where they stand. I don't have to be an in your face bitch about it but they know all the same just from my manner with them. I got grunted at by a couple of the hyenas at work today but I tried not to let it bother me too much. I actually have a couple of people who I like and from what I can gather, they actually like me too which is good for my self-esteem :-) It was nice to go there today and have someone say "hey, I haven't seen you for ages, I've been wanting to tell you about my mushroom experience!" That was cool. I spoke to my bro, Patrick, on the phone tonight, he's 19 and is currently unemployed after throwing in a job that he wasn't enjoying, he's trying hard to find another place to work though so good on him. Seems to be doing okay, his girlfriend, Rosemary, sounds like a nice chicky, it'll be interesting to meet her one day if it keeps going well between them. She's actually the little sister of a guy who was in my class at intermediate school so that's pretty out of it!! I had a bit of a crush on him for a little while, didn't last long though. My best friend got him in the end ~ she was always the popular one with the guys until I hit seventeen and we really started competing. :) Now it's me that is married with a child, she never would have guessed it would be me first - neither would I, mind you. But I'm happy being a mother and wife ~ usually. ;P I found out tonight that my "step mother in law from Hell's" daughter has seperated from her husband. Couldn't help but give a sly smile, Linda (smilfh) is always on the high and mighty buzz and thinks her brood are so much better than Jason and I ~ well, she's been proved wrong. It's so disgusting though, her daughter runs around calling herself a good catholic, she's married for just over a year and is seperated with a new man in her life ~ after travelling to Rome to have her marriage blessed by the Pope!!! I can't get over it!!!!!!!! Current Mood: mischievous Current Music: Bye Bye Love ~ hehehe :-) (Comment on this)
Saturday, June 9th, 2001
11:47 pm	Today I spent the day being as nice to Jas as possible, I've been terrible lately, haven't been treating him the way I should. I guess it's just that I start feeling low and I take it out on him when he doesn't deserve it, it's just that he and Tobias are all I really have in this big F@#$%D up world that I live in. Tomorrow morning I have my dreaded 11 1/2 hour shift and will most likely come home in yet another depressed state as I just know that those bitches are going to start picking at me again. For now though, I'm going to go to bed and get some sleep. Current Mood: tired Current Music: Angels, Robbie Williams (Comment on this)
Friday, June 8th, 2001
3:59 pm	It's cold! I should really put the heater on but I can't really be bothered. Today has been okay, nothing to complain about really, it's been a fairly quiet sort of a day. I have been thinking today, about why it is that I live in a block of five other flats and nobody, not one person, even bothers to speak or even look at one another!! Like this morning, when I came back from taking Tobias for a walk, I saw this chick coming out of flat number four and I tried to look at her to say hello and she just glared straight ahead. It's so stupid, I don't look that scary!! Actually, I don't think I look scary at all, I'm just shy and when something like that happens on a day where I'm actually feeling okay enough to look up at someone and smile and they don't even acknowledge that I exist, I wonder what the point is in even trying to be outgoing. Oh well, I like my modern flat anyway everyone else that lives here can get stuffed! ;) Current Mood: pensive Current Music: Treasure - The Cure (Comment on this)
Wednesday, June 6th, 2001
9:31 pm	My life as it was today!!!! Oh hooray!! Today was my first day of four days off work, it's always a good feeling to be out of there for a while but Sunday always seems to sneak around so quickly. All in all, my day today wasn't too bad at all - except for the crappy pay that arrived in my bank account, but that's okay, the "sick" day that I had on Sunday really does outweigh a little less money. It was spent productively, and besides, I wasn't actually lying when I told my boss I was really sick - I was actually feeling so ill from the way the bitch squad had treated me that I probably could've spewed!! I wish I wasn't like this, I wish I could be like everyone else. Sometimes I just lie on the bed and cry, wondering why I have to be so different to everyone else - yeah, I know that this sounds like teenage angst but I left that behind a few years ago. This is just my heart expelling the needles that puncure my heart like hot pokers on the three days that I'm at that rat infested hell hole. So, by now, you will have guessed that I'm not so keen on my job, huh!!! My day today was not too bad though, I can't really complain. Got a belated birthday gift, a really nice pair of satin PJ's so that was kinda cool. :) I think I'll leave this here for now anyhow, and get on with some proper stuff - dunno what though since I can't check my yahoo or excite inboxes due to their websites being crap. :( Oh well, catch ya later (Comment on this)
12:15 am	First Entry Okay, well... let's see!! Today has been an okay day, I didn't get up to much at all besides doing a few things online and going to work. I work 20 hours a week at the local supermarket, on checkout. Not the most exciting job in the world, I know, but it helps pay the bills. The job wouldn't be so bad if I didn't have to work with a pack of hyenas - basically a bunch of school/fresh out of school girls who think that they're supermodels. Hmmm... I might just describe them for posterity ;) There's... Hayley, who seems to be quite popular all around, she's very catty and immature though but is too much of a coward to come and and tell me she has a problem with me - her problem is though, that she is a chubby little mushroom who still looks 12 years old. Then there's Debbie - who thinks just because she is blonde and tall and as thin as a toothpick, that she's all that - but she looks like an anaemic ferret. Then there's Zara, oh dear, poor Zara wants to be a dancer - pity she's too stocky. She is always going on about all the guys who 'admire' her - yeah right, when she can't even apply her foundation correctly and ends up with a definate line just above her jaw line. There's also the other cronies who I don't think even rate a mention at all. Horrible aren't I?? Oh well, perhaps if they didn't pick on me for being happily married with a beautiful little boy, I wouldn't feel inclined to be such a bitch. That's all for tonight. (Comment on this)